#fayth using her blog as a diary

[treatbuckywkisses]

fanfic is so FUN what do you mean i get to tell the person who wrote it every single stupid feeling they gave me intentionally or not !!!!

what do you mean i can tell them a different thing I liked about it on my 5th read

what do you mean i get to tell them how their story literally saved me from myself

what do you mean i get to tell them how i should have been asleep but i just could not stop reading this series they decided to share because it was just so good !!!

what do you mean– WHAT DO YOU MEAN !!!!!!!!

how can you read something and not want to say anything about it at all what do you mean.

even the absolute smallest "wow I like this" or the dumbest word vomit keyboard smash you can think of can be something so so motivating and mean so much to the person whose art you are reacting to what do you mean

#fayth using her blog as a diary #some people simply do not deserve some of the art they stubble upon in this place #support content creators #!!!!! #it is so easy please #we are all tired #kisses if u see this #i love you

[madityy]

Day1

So, First time I’ve ever blogged. I Don't know what to do but i think it's like a online diary? right? Hopefully or i'm going to look Sooo stupid- Haha. Well, Im Maddy. I’ve been through a lot today actually, at a young age as well. So Today has been A stress. No Surprise. The Typical woke up, got fress, done everything i needed to do. Then i chilled out and relaxed for a bit. Then i was like: “mY gOd, tHE netHeR upDatE!” Finally it was out on my XBOX which was exciting, but i never got to see it as my dad dragged me to Primark. Well not Dragged, i dragged HIM more like after hearing us two was going.  I deserve an award for not getting side tracked, Primark is like my second home. We went there to get me new tops as i was growing out my own. I’m hitting that age now that i grow out of most things- fun. I Ended up getting: 2 XL Tops- Might i add that are hella comfy!, 3 pairs of Leggings, Some Cute Joggers with a Matching top which shook me when i looked through them again, And Another Stylish top. Sooo, Not really what i needed But way better than the random shabobble i nearly bought. On The way back though we saw this really cute toddler as she took her little Dolly around. A True ‘Aww’ moment. So were back at the house and i start to feel sick. I think nothing of it and say Bye to my mum, and my 2 younger siblings (Fayth & Kyle.) So It was just Me and Ray- AKA my mums fiancè. It all went well after a while, then the pain grew so quick and so fast. I thought my appendix Exploded. I couldn't help but cry, i guess to loud as Ray told me to shut up in a grumpy mood. So i go outside and cry outside, trying to give him peace, but he tells me to go back inside. To add on the pain, the dad i've never met in my life comes along saying he's not my dad. HOW FUN!!  We have a Man hating my guts upstairs, and a Dad who don't want to be my dad. For a 12 year old- your head is going to be everywhere and anywhere. Tears was one way to describe these 5 hours. I Took a bath and just Relaxed, 10/10 recommend (candles, classical music is bonus as well) and My ‘dad’ said he tried to do a DNA test 3 times but my mum never brought me. Such lies. Cause Child maintenance would of stopped paying her ages ago. So after a hour or so, i came to a conclusion i wanted to save up for a DNA test. I think you would too if you have never met your day in 13 years of your lifetime, wondering who,where, or what he is. Now he's trying to act like the Victim. I found it funny when he put ‘x’ at the end of his messages. Like he knew me my whole life? more like none! I had told my form tutor and my Head of Year Group about this, cause they’re like my mini therapists. I trust them both so much! My HoYG (Head of Year Group) Then Just turned up at my door! I changed quickly into some of my new clothes, and headed outside. She helped me figure out with a clear mind what was going on- with the argument with Ray as well. She’s a gifted teacher, i swear! We ended up laughing and so on, before she had a word with my mum. Nothing much happened after that, i tried to befriend Ray again, took a while but we did it! I got given a Task to focus on my new hide away- the shed. So you’ll be hearing about that now! Im going to start tomorrow, with hosing it down. But yeah, we got McDonalds and just relaxed while watching AHS (American Horror Story) Hope to talk sooner or Later! -Maddy

#blog #bloggin #new #chat #my day so far

[treatbuckywkisses]

warning: extremely long post.

nobody asked for this lol but i see so much abt supporting creators and people mainly focus on writing and i one million percent agree but i wish you guys would treat all content creators the same lol. some of us can't write so we make gifs/fanart/moodboards etc. i make moodboards and that's all so i can't speak for the gifmakers or anyone else but i am almost 100% positive it's definitely not as easy as it sounds. even making moodboards. yeah how can making a collage of pictures not be easy

let me show you My process a little bit so you can get somewhat of an idea. this is what I usually do there's no wrong or right way and everyone is different but i wanted to share with you what goes on in my head ig

so first i think of an idea right, a trope or something. sometimes i can be inspired by a fic i read. sometimes i just think of something id like to try and make/see. requests are different but that's not why I'm here today.

im using my demon!bucky moodboard as an example bc i had a lot of trouble with him lol. demon bucky is very popular so naturally i wanted to try my hand with him. and it was around the flaunt photoshoot so i had prime materials at my fingertips.

so i usually look into the vibe i want to give this was demon!bucky so we did demon, dark and also a bit of red to accent the photoshoot pics.

then i figure out a layout and how i want them to be.

first made was this one:

it was okay but i didn't like the pics of seb and how they ended up being that way it was too many side profile pics for me.

so i tried this:

i changed one pic and moved 2 and i still didn't really like it how i thought i would

so i tried this one:

honestly this one is my least favorite one. the knife is killing me i hated how it turned out. i just couldn't get them to work how i had imagined in my mind. and then the reds were one one side and the b&w on the same side together ugh it was just no good.

so i went on to this which is the one i finally posted:

i was actually super happy with this one. it was like a great balance imo of everything I was trying and it still gave demon to me (and hello he is scrumptious) i was so sos sooo excited to finally post it after working on it for so long and it didn't even end up doing that good.

also not shown are me playing with the background color. i tried different reds and greys but hated them so I deleted them but there were at least 3 of each lmao.

these are the notes on it today lol:

one of those reblogs and one comment is from myself so those doesn't even count asldhdkdh

now. not every moodboard is like this. sometimes i get lucky and love the one i make on the first try. but that doesn't happen as often. maybe im just doing too much idk that's what it feels like. especially for the "notes" i always get. so many likes hardly and reblogs and almost never comments. which idk comments don't do a lot for me if you don't reblog it yk. reblogs are so important. you tell me you like it so much you want to show all your friends this silly thing i made so maybe they can show their friends too.

maybe im just in a mood today but idk lol someone sent me a request last night and i almost cried because i was so excited.

#fayths moodboard #fayth using her blog as a diary #fayths being dramatic <3 #long post #but i cant bring myself to be sorry

[treatbuckywkisses]

i fear i may be getting sick:(

if anyone has any tricks they like to get well faster please share them w me 🥺🥺 idc how silly I will try anything

#fayth using her blog as a diary #i literally cannot afford to be sick #pls help

[treatbuckywkisses]

don't u hate it when u think a guy is flirting with you & even your coworker is like hey he is flirting w you and then you find out said guy has a gf of like 3 years lol :')

#like what #honestly #like do i just not know the difference btwn flirting & being nice or what #like is this on me absldh #the way i was thinking like maybe i can do this #and now im embarrassed #for letting myself like him ? #idk #im upset abt it though #fayth using her blog as a diary #this is so annoying #i hate my feelings #i hate that i need guys to like me #lol

[treatbuckywkisses]

so if u didn't know lol if you like any of my moodboards without reblogging it im going to be blocking u now<3 especially if you reblog other things because what the fuck actually alsgdldh ive been doing it for a while now but ive decided ill address the void and give u all a heads up !

you will either like it with your whole pussy & reblog my beautiful art or you will not interact w me at all, thank u <3

#fayth using her blog as a diary

[treatbuckywkisses]

FEELING SO GOOD !!!! I HAVE MADE A MOODBOARD IVE HAD AN IDEA FOR SINCE FOREVER AND I ACTUALLY LIKE IT A LOT IM PRETTY PROUD☺️☺️

#fayth using her blog as a diary

[treatbuckywkisses]

going back to work after being out for a week w covid:(

#fayth using her blog as a diary #life is so hard rn lol #im not feeling it:(

[treatbuckywkisses]

if you're going to like my shit and not reblog it please don't even fucking bother liking it honestly i would rather no interaction. fuck off if you don't know how to use tumblr. i popped my pussy making that moodboard and i will not let a social media platform make me feel bad about my talents because you are incompetent <3

#i block people who like and dont reblog #just bc it truly makes me feel better #but i just worked at 8hr shift #and i couldnt stay on top of who was doing it #so its piled up & im tired #but tmr i will be going through the notes lmao #fuck yall<3 #fayth using her blog as a diary #kisses if u see this

[treatbuckywkisses]

it's been a rough fucking morning lol if this day doesn't turn around i will absolutely be crying later <3

#fayth using her blog as a diary

[treatbuckywkisses]

i want a kiss:(

#fayth using her blog as a diary #im so starved #u don't understand

[treatbuckywkisses]

i am not for the work life :( im so tired and i hate that when i have work i can't do anything for the day bc i just cannot stand being late to anything ever . 2 days a week is not enough free time !!!!! i have too many things ive wanted to read pile up in my drafts:( basically no time or energy to make moodboards lately ugh😭 i just am so tired all the time it's my neutral state at this point.

#fayth using her blog as a diary #just felt like throwing this out there #kisses if u see this #i will probably delete this later

[treatbuckywkisses]

the urge to disappear without a trace is so strong actually i get it now

#fayth using her blog as a diary #i just am so fucking tired #and i feel so alone #lol #i dont feel like my friends like me #and i feel so replaceable #idk #like not important ig #ignore me lmao

[treatbuckywkisses]

lol

wow this is going so bad actually. I've cried 2 nights in a row now. they said I'd start at part time and im working 40 hours this week is this a joke lmao i didn't even get trained or get to shadow anyone, they just put me out there. im not allowed water on the floor & i only get 2 small (15 min) breaks which i haven't even been getting— i got 1/2 today. im literally so fucking exhausted I've never been so worn out in my life i think. and im the most stressed I've ever been on top of that because of bs at home. and i am having problems with food and that kind of mindset rn but i will not get into that here. i didn't think you could hate your job so early but holy fuck lol.

also i know im supposed to get my period soon and that's not helping at all sgslshs i literally want to scream and sleep for the rest of my life.

i want to get one really great perfect scream into the world and go into a sleep like death like sleeping beauty. i don't even care if i get woken up by a kiss. i just know that would cure me.

#fayth using her blog as a diary #this is ... a lot #kisses if u see this #we are just all going through it ig #we are Not doing good friends:( #oh well

[treatbuckywkisses]

how's your day going?

im on a 15 min break and im trying not to cry over the fact that there's no water and I had to get a sprite but i am ✨️dehydrated✨️ and i need water LOL

#fayth using her blog as a diary #i hate it here actually #please dont let me cry at work

[treatbuckywkisses]

i looked and felt so cute today and nobody even told me can you believe that🥺

#fayth using her blog as a diary #i want attention #always #this was terrible where was everyone #i was literally in public