#forum says there are no other answers to this equation. so do i get an A?

[themelodicenigma]

What's your favorite KH game, hands down?

I mean....I just got to be that guy and just say all three of KH, KH2, and KH3. XD

Let me explain doe!~

I can look at gameplay, story...I can do this objectively, or at least attempt too. But that feels pointless in regards to the question, at least for me, because something like that for me, to be my "favorite", is impacted definitely by more, pure subjective of fun, immersive-ness, nostalgia, definitely. Truly just, which one did I enjoy the most in the purest sense.

It's just because each one uniquely hit different—were a different impact of "fun"—when they reached my life, you know? I still remember, back in 2002, when I was 8/9, watching the commercials, making my own makeshift Keyblade out of a toy sword, and duct-taped some markers to be the crown teeth of the Kingdom Key. lol The idea of playing a fantasy game with Disney characters? It was like a dream, and the sense of wonder and intrigue I got the game was something that is hard to beat.

But, then KH2. That game was the first time I REALLY anticipated a game. Like, I mean I was all up on all the oldie KH forums, that some people probably don't even remember—just tracking the progress of the game and all the early JPN scans that would be posted. I mean, man, not only were there commercials in the US, but Disney was making a REAL big deal about it, definitely because of the success of the 1st KH—Disney knew they had done right in having this series, you could tell. Anticipation was SO HYPE I tell you. I even remember refusing to wait those few extra months before the US release, and watched the entire game online in JPN. And yet, when I still got my hands on it in March—KH2 is a VERY solid game, gameplay-wise, story-wise, and it hits a certain way because of the impact of it being a glow up of not only the characters themselves, but of every aspect. That feeling is it's own unique thing too.

And KH3—that honestly speaks for itself. If you survived the series enough from 2006 to 2019—literally me going from 6TH GRADE to post-graduating COLLEGE for goodness sake—to FINALLY get to the next numbered titled after so many games that furthered the story and worldbuilding after the trilogy of KH, CoM, and KH2. I feel like I may have mentioned it before, but for me, the Dark Seeker Saga was very much so the same impact as the MCU's Infinity Saga. Where KH3 + Re:Mind is that of Infinity War + Endgame. Just like how the feeling of seeing the conclusion of the MCU hits a generation in a way that is so unique and feels once in a lifetime, KH3/Re:Mind was able to do that for me in it's own way. And there are certain aspects of KH3 that I liked better than KH2, the prime example being how at least the Disney Worlds were treated—they were like what people WANTED in KH2, which was having that sense of adventure and wonder for a Disney world + having the Organization XIII members be more directly involved, the same way that the Disney villains were involved in the first KH. KH3 delivered on that front, if you ask me.

It's kind of a cop-out answer, but honestly—KH, KH2, and KH3 overall all provided something unique, that I feel I can't really put above each other. It's just different, but equal.

BBS is definitely an honorable mention, because with it being advertised as the story reveal of the mysterious armored knights in the KH2 secret movies, I REALLY couldn't wait to play it—not to mention BBS pioneered and influenced certain gameplay aspects you see in DDD, 0.2, and even in KH3. And, I liked the idea of these split 3 stories, which reminded me of CoM, but much more intricate in how the three stories crossed. I really enjoyed it, I even spent a lot of time playing the board game mini game—I did that more than I did the arena thing. The only reason I don't equate it to the 3 numbered titles is because, well, I feel like at the time, it didn't feel like a game that felt like it made me anticipate what came next—I felt it was more background that would come up again, but I wasn't entirely sure where the story was heading at the time. But I'm very happy it introduced one of my fav characters in the series, which is Aqua.

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #kingdom hearts 3 #re:mind #kh birth by sleep

[canonspyglass]

Am i doing this math wrong?

Zuko x Katara =  Zuko and Katara is each other’s most important person.

Katara x Aang =  Zuko and Katara is each other’s most important person.

Mai x Zuko =  Zuko and Katara is each other’s most important person.

#forum says there are no other answers to this equation. so do i get an A? #zutara #zutara meta #shower thoughts

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

#asks #answered #sebastian stan

[autisticandroids]

Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up

okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.

and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?

therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):

john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.

now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.

and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.

john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.

dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.

castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.

he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)

(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)

anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.

castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.

he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.

six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.

but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.

so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.

dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.

smiling slightly.

as he watches dean gut this old woman.

dean freezes.

the man takes a step forward.

"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."

dean is silent.

"family business, is it?"

silence continues.

"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."

and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"

what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.

there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.

but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.

it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.

so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.

of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.

so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.

even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)

but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.

dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.

cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."

and dean buries his face in cas' chest.

#spn #asks #anonymous #abuse tw #violence tw

[girl4music]

So I was on this Buffyverse chatroom/forum thing and there was a thread about Oz and how he is shy person.

This is a misunderstanding of his character. Oz isn't shy. He is stoic.

He is quiet because he wants to be. Not because he can't speak to people.

I'm the very same. I'm very silent in person-to-person interaction. I'll only really speak when spoken to or when asked a question I'm required to answer. Otherwise, I'm very mentally predisposed. I think more than I talk.

It's not shyness. I have no problem talking to people. I have a lot of confidence. I just don't speak.

If Oz was shy, insecure or lacked confidence in any way, he wouldn't be able to get up on stage and play lead guitar. Nor would he have the courage to ask Willow out on a date or talk to her at all. Oz is definetly not a character who you could refer to as shy at any point. Quietness does not always equate to shyness. If anything - it's the opposite.

The quietness that equates to stoicness means that you possess so much confidence and security that you don't try to please people. You are your own person and have no desire to "play a role" in society or assume an identity. You are calm and neutral in outward expression. It can however mean you have difficulty expressing emotion or how you're feeling. Not always though.

Quietness that equates to shyness means to lack confidence and to pretend to be something you're not in order to "fit in" with the in crowd. It means hesitating in the way you speak - possibly stuttering. You can't be assertive. You can't say "no". You have difficultly making friends. It means to have little confidence and security in who you are or how you outwardly express. It's not something you actually want or choose to be. You just are because you are afraid of being bullied or abused in some way by people. And you don't always stay that way. You may come out of your shell and come to be apart of something that grows your confidence and security.

Characters from Buffy that are actually shy:

Willow: really only Season 1 and 2. She comes out of her shell very quickly around Buffy and Xander. Both being a "Slayerette" as well as dating Oz helps her to grow in confidence and security.

Tara: only Season 4 and 5. Being around Willow and the Scooby Gang makes her come out of her shell and grows her confidence and security. Oh, and ditching her abusive family. That helps too since a lot of Tara's shyness and solitariness comes from being severely domestically abused (both emotionally and physically) and being told she's evil.

There's Jonathan too but I wouldn't say he has a has a problem with shyness as much as people just percieve him that way and expect him to be quiet. There is the scene where he attempts to commit suicide when it looks like he is about to commit a school shooting due to bullying but that's not necessarily because he is shy or lacks confidence. Just that he is depressed and lacks self-worth because of being depressed. Again, the two don't always equate.

The thing is bullying or abuse of any kind does make some people compress or contract themselves into a tiny environmental space. But sometimes it makes them do the opposite and expand into the environment around them and make them act out and become cruel, volatile or agressive themselves. I was the latter. I was never the former. But believe me - neither are a solution to the problem. They're just as bad and ineffective as each other.

You either internalize or externalize or both. There's no other way around it until you know and believe in yourself. The character Willow does and is both. I don't know about Oz. I don't think he was ever bullied or abused but I think becoming a werewolf does make him start to mistrust himself and the way he behaves around people due to feeling like he might put them in danger. He definetly has an insecurity as far as that goes. But otherwise - he is just a stoic person. He chooses to stay quiet as he is mentally predisposed. He is a thinker. And I totally relate to him with that. Both me and Oz practice Stoicism.

“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.” - Zeno of Citium

#buffy the vampire slayer #daniel oz osbourne #willow rosenberg #tara maclay #jonathan levinson

[bettsfic]

Hi betts, how do you separate yourself from your fanfiction works? As in having the mindset that ‘you are not your work’? I feel like I’ve fallen into the myth that positive feedback equates to readers liking me for me, when in most cases I imagine they’re solely interested in my content. I guess I’m expecting too much from fandom members? I just don’t feel like I belong to the fandom if it weren’t for my fanfiction. Thanks for your time.

this is a really great and really big question that for me anyway had far deeper roots in my mental health than i initially recognized. 

even before i found fandom, i strongly conflated love with being of use to someone, and then i would get upset that people used me. all of my relationships were either distant or volatile. i knew that i was the only thing all my relationships had in common, but i couldn’t figure out what i was doing wrong. 

what i was doing wrong was that i didn’t know how to love or be loved. i only knew how to need and be needed. i was defined wholly by my relationships with others; without them, i was no one. i changed everything about myself to fit with the people i was surrounded by. i had no ability whatsoever to see or assess myself. my worth was measured in others’ perception of me. if they hated me, i hated me. if they loved me...actually, i still hated me, because i believed that love was temporary, and it was only a matter of time they saw the “real” me and they would take their love away. it was much easier to mold myself into someone they could love. 

i once told a guy i was dating, i just want to be who you want me to be. and he looked at me like i was crazy, and asked, then how can i love you? 

when i found writing, i didn’t know what love really felt like. i only knew obsession and codependency. i didn’t know how to feel emotions in order to process them, so everything that had ever happened to me was still just sitting inside me, waiting. writing offered me a tool to begin working through the pile. it offered me a means to observe and validate myself, and feel my feelings. 

but when i was first developing a relationship with writing, i put so much of myself into it that i couldn’t help but use feedback as a measure of self-worth. 

i think to some degree, every artist needs a witness. almost everything we write exists to be made public to some degree, and it’s a totally normal thing to want to seek reception. but conflating other people liking you, and by extension your work, with your worthiness to exist, creates a lot of self-suffering.

i remember realizing that i had boxed myself into a corner, and i knew i had to reassess my perspective of myself and my work. i had found myself in the same position you describe, feeling bad because readers didn’t love me, they loved my writing (see: being of use and wondering why people always used me). especially with fanfic, which has so much to do with quantity, 90% of readers don’t even look at the fic writer’s name, let alone kudos or comment. reading is a self-fulfilling endeavor the same way eating is. all of us need stories to live. as writers, we’re just the chefs. when you eat a good meal, you don’t fall in love with the chef. most of the time you don’t even know their name. the food isn’t the chef and the story isn’t you. 

but also, i was, and always had been, disgusted and baffled by people who *did* love me, especially if i felt i had nothing useful to offer them. once, a friend of mine drove like 3 hours to come visit me for dinner, and then drove 3 hours back. for some reason i assumed he was on a road trip somewhere and just passing through. when he told me he had come just to hang out with me, my brain short-circuited. i couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to hang out with me like, for fun. 

after a few years of posting fic, a weird thing happened where a few people did seem to like *me* because of my writing, insofar as they would follow my blog and interact with me and eventually we became friends. there may even be people out there who like me and don’t interact with me. but that idea also kind of weirded me out for a long time, because i kept thinking, who am i? no one. i’m nothing. i’m boring. go read my writing, that’s what matters. 

and then i realized, i could not have it both ways. either i wanted to be seen, or i wanted to go unseen. i was schrödinger’s validation. 

so i think the very simple answer is “learn to love yourself,” but i was so far behind when it came to love, i didn’t know what loving yourself even meant. so i think a better adage is “learn love.” learn what love is, what it feels like, what it looks like. and then turn that definition on yourself and your work. 

i love myself, even when i mess up, even when i’m not meeting my expectations. i love my work, even when it’s bad. when other people love me and my work, that makes me happy. when they don’t, that’s fine, because i still have plenty of my own love left. 

in practicality, for a few years i basically had to constantly chant to myself “what other people think of me is not my business.” a reader’s relationship with your writing is not your obligation to know or control. it’s only your obligation to create the stories you want to tell, and maybe you share them so you can share the love you put into them, or maybe you don’t. maybe you eat the meal you cook, or maybe you share it with someone else. whether they like it or not has no bearing on who you are. it’s all just personal taste.

more importantly, you can’t generate self-beliefs externally. someone’s opinion of you or your work cannot define you, because no one has a wider view of you than you. you are the expert of yourself. it took me a long time to change all of my self-beliefs, or what i’ve come to call “life sentences,” into statements of temporality and priority. “i’m brave” turned into “i value courage.” “i’m bad at directions” turned into “sometimes i get turned around.” every time i’m about to make a sweeping judgment of myself, i try to recast it into something more malleable, because every state of the self is temporary, and i always want to give myself the opportunity to grow.

i won’t lie and say i have a totally healthy relationship with my writing. i still get jealous sometimes, although it’s much briefer and more bearable than it used to be. i still get deeply annoyed by tactless or rude feedback, but i rarely get upset. i *do* get upset when someone sends me a link to a forum or thread of people making fun of me; i think it’s hard to unlearn that. sometimes i still feel the need to defend or justify or apologize for my work. and i definitely still compulsively refresh my comment inbox whenever i post something i’m proud of. but for the most part, i’m in a much better place than i used to be.

currently i’m working on making peace with the idea of publication, that my original work treads a morally risky line that is easily misunderstood, and i’m publishing into a world of mob mentality and cancel culture. and moreover, once a work is published, once it’s out there, it can never go back in. i’m trying to figure out whether i’m confident enough now in my work to still stand by it in ten years or fifty. i’m also freaked out about how anything i publish will outlive me. as someone who has always lived with existential dread, it’s terrifying to think i may write something that could be read in a hundred years, that my voice might live longer than my body. there is a very slim chance of it, but as i’ve mentioned before, i think it’s better to plan more for success than failure. 

i’m not sure if any of this is helpful, but it’s the path i took to get where i am. i wish you the best of luck navigating your relationship with your work. 

my carrd | writing advice masterdoc

#writing advice #Anonymous

[rpbetter]

Hey there, check out this pinned post first!

Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.

This blog and its posts are meant for an adult RPing audience; be over legal, adult age in the USA, 18+. Do not interact by submitting, asking, reblogging, commenting, or liking unless you are over eighteen years of age. By interacting with RPB or me, Vespertine, you are assumed to be following this rule. If you are breaking this rule, you will be blocked.

I have that rule because this blog can/will/does address topics inappropriate for a younger audience. Those can include, but are not limited to:

not safe for work - violence, injury, sexual language, smut, substance use

“dark topics” and themes like violence, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, trauma, graphic injury, dubious consent, substance use, and so forth addressed realistically

foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

 unpopular opinions and approaches about writing, RP, fandoms

“negativity” since literally anything can be, and my whole point here isn’t about holding back; it is likely that, at some point, in some post or another, a shoe will fit you-you need to be mature enough to handle that without taking it as a personal attack on you

images and links that may contain things inappropriate for a younger audience

this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no

seriously, you have no idea how fucking salty I am! I try to be fair, reasonable, and mellow with everyone, but it can and does come out.

This blog tags for common, major triggers, but it is not for those easily triggered or particularly sensitive. By proceeding, you take responsibility for yourself...like a mature adult. I expect you to utilize blacklist, unfollow, and block. Tag format is simple, it is literally just the word in most cases, with “cw” and “tw” added to particularly common things. Example, a post containing a breakdown of forms of dubcon will be tagged #dubcon #dubious consent. If that was specifically of a sexual nature, since tumblr is unfriendly to using Not Safe For Work now, I will be using #notsafe for sexual topics. In the event that this needs to change, it will be posted about, the previous tag left intact, so that you may update your blacklist.

You are always welcome to send me an ask or private message requesting a particular trigger be tagged for you. I try to check blogs I see following, especially if I follow back, so that I can tag what you require. However, I’m a person, I’m an ND, ill, busy person though, I do make mistakes!

If you find yourself desirous of telling me to tag in a hateful way, don’t. You will not be responded to with an apology and kindness. Do not be rude, it’s uncalled for when informing someone of a problem or making a request.

I will run the blog largely on a queue, and will not be following many people back. This is not personal! I just like to try to provide content at many different times, have a life elsewhere, and I am so happy that you love your fandom, but it might not be something I’ve enough interest in to have on my dash.

Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.

Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.

Aggressive inbox messages will be responded to in kind. I don’t care if you are on anon or not, if you haven’t an ounce of polite communication skills, I won’t have them either. This is not a “we don’t publish anon hate” blog.

I highly encourage asks and submissions on any and all RP topics, and it’s perfectly alright to be salty as fuck in them, you can totally vent here, but don’t take out your frustration on me or be demanding of me. I am always happy to help with information, advice, or just a response to your venting-it’s important to know someone is listening. However, it may take me a few days to a week to get to you, be patient. 

If you are going to vent, leave out usernames. This isn’t a callout or burnbook blog. It’s fine to state characters and fandoms, but if this becomes a problem, it’ll have to change. I don’t want this becoming a salt blog for one or two fandoms I very likely can’t even stand. Practice the fine art of alluding to things, its good experience for your writing! Besides, RPC problems are RPC problems, I promise. It might feel like it’s just your fandom, but there is something relatable in all corners.

I will not overly police comments. Keep the slurs and shit out of it, though. If there is an issue going on pertaining to a serious instance of hate speech, or behavior I, personally, deem as too inappropriate and/or immature to be taking place on my post, I will step in. Otherwise, I expect everyone to be adults in the comments and reblogs too. If you want to argue with each other, that’s your business. If you want to argue with me, I’m not sorry in advance.

Addition to the above: this is not a blog in which it will be tolerated that commentators or those submitting with the URLS are targeted for callouts, shaming, or other instances of bullying. No, I cannot make those people stop bothering you by blocking them, but the least I can do is address that by shutting down their access to this blog and it’s posts by blocking on the URLs I have for them. And I will. Fuck that “we can’t be responsible for” shit. It’s my blog, it’s my content I’m putting out there, I’m not going to just ignore shit like what went down over on COAR, thanks. Not. Cool.

This is definitely not a place for:

people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development

those with no reading comprehension skills

folks dependent upon aesthetics and aesthetics-based purple prose as filler for actual writing

anti-original character/just wants to fuck a FC or canon character club, get the fuck out immediately

y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

#pinned post #tumblr rpc #rph #rp help #rp advice #rpbetter

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time  /  and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''you're gonna go far kid'' by the offspring

[sips-tea-anon]

NEW YEAR NEW RULES!

So! First things first, happy new year to all of you lovely followers~ I hope that 2020 would be a better year than 2019.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get down to business.

With this new year, I’ve decided that I would be less harsh on me and take things easy as last year was just utter chaos on top of breakdowns on top of breakdowns. I didn’t have a good time in general and one thing that contributed was actually writing.

I know that people really enjoy Nyctophilia, which is also something that I really cherish and love, but it got to a certain point where people seemed to demand me to update this and update that to a point where I feel like those people see me as a content producing robot; which I am not.

Remember when I decided to disappear for about 3 to 4 months? Yeah, I really needed that and I realised that hey, sometimes it’s fine to just take a break and breathe because I’m a human being who gets tired.

Remember the whole post/ answer I made where I literally went off rails on an anon who demanded an update? I didn’t regret that at all. In fact, I’d like to think that after that post and me disappearing some of y’all realise and decided to stop sending me asks about an update and all, which I really appreciate greatly because that has made my life peaceful, to say the least.

Writing is something I love and take it seriously. And whenever someone asks me about an update, it honestly made me rethink about it and realise that hey, some people just want the content but doesn’t appreciate the author. Which is hella fucked up, to say the least.

As an author, I ended up hating my own writing because it wasn’t fun anymore.

“Oh but you have to remember that you’re writing this for yourself and not for others.”. That is one of the phrases that I’m really tired of hearing if I’m being honest, not to mention how fucked up it is. The same people who say that most often than not are the same people who be demanding an update. Also, if I was writing it for myself (which is true to a certain extent), why would I post it on tumblr and share it with you guys? 

“But there are other authors who write every day and post every day or at least once a week.”, well to those authors I have to say good for them for doing that, but I’m not them. Each author is different and that also goes with the creative process. Don’t equate other author’s posting schedule to mine, because most likely my life is different from theirs since we’re not the same person.

“But what about your followers who are waiting for an update?”, if they’re really a fan of my work and have been around for quite some time, then I do expect that at least they would understand where I’m coming from. Do I feel bad not giving them an update as frequent as I wish? Yes. But do I want to give them bad content? Hell fucking no. Is there a price to pay for good content? Yes, it’s called patience and understanding.

“Then what should people send you asks for?” Feedback, comments, anything other than demanding for an update. Like guys, literally, I’d prefer to read long messages about what you like or what you think about the story than an ask about an update. Asking someone for an update doesn’t mean anything other than putting the authors into a whole train ride on the stress express. I also have an open forum where you can send in asks to the characters and all. I accept almost anything but def not asks about when’s the next update.

Anyways, starting from this year, if I ever see an ask about when’s the next update, it will be deleted and I’ll be killing off a beloved character with each ask, George RR Martin style too (JK... unless)

To end this, I would also like to say thank you to all of you have been supporting and been patient with me. And to those who never sent me an ask asking for an update, you all get a gold star because that’s what you guys deserve.

- Tea

#tea talks #i swear i feel like the reason why george rr martin hasnt released a new book is because of people demanding it and not appreciating him #which lol i relate to this sentiment #2020 will be the year where i aint gonna be used

[noxloxy-blog]

Number One Keto: https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/number-one-keto-reviews-number-one-keto-important-news-reported-by-researched-review-2020-03-27

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[hoxtilicioustf2]

Antis make me, a minor csa and abuse survivor with pure ocd, feel threatened and scared at every turn

I’m sorry you are forced to feel this way by them.

I really just hope you are not part of their circles, and if so, find a way to escape.

That’s the thing - I know there are people out there with pure ocd, and its subset pedophile ocd, just like you, and I know antis can really harm these types of people. (Click for info on Pedophile OCD  - intended for others to be kept in the picture)

This is why I would love to find a way to prove them, what they are doing is wrong, incorrect, pointless, and just hurts people, and I keep winning arguments, but they just don’t listen, and instead block me! So I just gave up and started blocking them.

I have very high standards on what pedophilia entails. But I work with realistic things, not fictional. Though, I suppose I should say this - friendly reminder, I’m an adult. If you have POCD, other type of Pure-OCD, have dated a minor in the past and regret it, you can follow me. The only reason why I put that up is because I’ve met a pedophile before and I’ve developed these standards to protect others. And if you are unsure - shoot an ask off-anon. I don’t slander folk and I will answer privately. Fiction does not directly correlate to reality is the thing. I know I sometimes say “doesn’t affect at all” but that was me being pissed and salty, it has some effect, but in a completely different manner.In my opinion, thinking ‘if you watch/ship x you turn into a nasty pedophile’ is either a symptom of a type of Pure-O, or just foolish to think. It is not correct, and exposing yourself to small doses of that can actually help with healing, I’ve seen antis believe that fictional character feelings are equal to real life people feelings, which is a horribly delusional thing to think. Fictional characters are fictional characters. They are not real. They were one day created by a artist, or a team of producers, just like a OC. They weren’t suddenly born, in some far away world, that day. They are generally fragments of an artist’s mind. They can represent their personality, their friend’s personality, a mixture, they can represent intrusive thoughts, some are just personified plot elements, their fantasies, etc. You as a writer or artist work with your extension of that. You add your ideas, your plot, your fun. And then you write/draw something wonderful, it might be dark, it might be rough, but maybe deep down, it helps you free some of the intrusive thoughts. It helps you alleviate fears. It helps you become a better person.So what about the cases where “fiction DOES affect reality” ? One word: “Romanticization”. This generally only applies to fiction targetted at masses, such as Hollywood movies, bestseller books, etc. If rape/abuse/pedophilia is romanticized, aka made appear as good while it really isn’t, a small portion of the audience, generally younger audience, can now think “huh, maybe something like this is ok” And someone can abuse that.* But what is the best course of action? “Don’t watch said movie” is actually not. Giving critique toward the movie, saying it romanticizes elements it shouldn’t, is good, it also lowers the movie/book’s rating. Informing people who have watched that movie that this isn’t actually a good thing but a bad thing to do in real life can help. There are many ways. I will return to this later.But what if you enjoy a wicked fetish, want to write for adult audience but some of them might just be dumb bitches? Add a disclaimer on start! And that’s that. You know, on dangerous videos it’s that “don’t try this at home”. Exactly that. Generally I only see romanticization of bad things done in fanfiction by younger writers, like 13yos who should have no business in NSFW areas by US law. Everyone older generally understood what they were writing about, sadly still got backlash for it by people who only read the tags. Their work was always good, and they were great people, they just quickly jumped to conclusions.*Now let me return to the starred area.Fanfiction is a thing. An item. It’s a tool used to express the writer. It harms no one as a stand alone. Imagine a knife. Good utility, can cut vegetables, can help you with survival in wild areas. As a stand alone, a great asset.Now imagine a malicious person coming along and using said knife to murder someone, hurt someone.Now you have 1 case in a billion where a knife has been used to harm. And Antis want to ban knifes, and say everyone manufacturing and using knives is a bad person. Even if they used it to cut vegetables for chicken noodle soup for their loved ones.Even if they used it to not freeze in the forest overnight. Even if they used it harmlessly.This is exactly what fanfiction is. And this applies to ALL fanfiction, regardless if morally “good” or “bad”. If a teenage girl dreams of a tall muscular 20yo hot boyfriend, as a stand alone, nothing wrong. If someone 20yo comes along, and knows how to twist words very well, starts dating said teenage girl because she’s “easy to get” and then starts abusing her, is it really the teenage girl’s fault for dreaming? Is it really the fiction’s fault for grooming her? No! It’s the man’s fault. And we should never forget that, otherwise we engage in victim blaming, or blaming-a-person-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-this instead of the perpetrator, who should by all means be blamed.Another sample, a 25yo on forums. He can take the safest fanfiction out there, of a 16 and 17 yo, send it to a 13yo, equate the characters to their personality (the characters being general enough to match) and then saying yeah, we would make a nice couple.There was nothing wrong with this fanfiction, but still we have a poor 13yo groomed to a gross bastard? Really makes you think.Now, actually, if a groomer like this just  were to read the tags like antis do, and sends fanfic to a young’un and it’s not romanticized, like really not romanticized, and the young’un can understand this is bad, this can actually soil his plans. Which is why a lot of this “bad fanfiction” could turn out actually excellent, although this is theory as I don’t know of any case to confirm of deny this. Sorry I just wanted to say what was on my mind. I really just wanted to clarify to you that you’re never wrong for liking anything “fucked up” and if you have POCD, I know you might have intrusive thoughts so I just wanted to help you a bit. Again I’m an adult, you can write to me off-anon, say you want this private, I won’t publish. I’ll try my best to help you, as much as my time allows me to.I hope none of this was triggering to you. Apologies if it was. I too have some trauma, not csa per-se but there were some nasty elements to it, so I kinda understand. 

#ask hoxy #discourse #rant #i hope i helped #Anonymous

[watchtheblog]

devolve around the world

there are some things in life that are inevitable. for instance, if you live in la long enough, sooner or later one or more of the following are going to happen:

someone you know will die from a curable disease because they insisted on trying to cure it by only using CBD!

you’ll see an ex (who literally never knew you were dating) on a date with someone else and have to pretend like that doesn’t make you want to spit on a dog.

your favorite type of milk will be deemed a carcinogen.

you will be cancelled.

and then there are things you thought would happen to you if you moved to la because you once read a buzzfeed article on things that happen in la (that luckily - despite risk - can be avoided):

adopting a dog so as to promulgate the message “adopt don’t shop” because you care about animals, and/or the idea of owning something that could be described as “bedraggled”.

purchasing a fancy dog from a breeder because you are rich, and impervious to the contempt that you and your show puppy will likely be met with.

getting a nose job because you have a “deviated septum”. (i have a 70% deviated septum and no nose job… WE EXIST!)

falsely developing a food allergy as a means to lose weight, fit in, inadvertently ruin every dining experience for the rest of time.

joining a cult disguised as a fun place of worship based loosely around a religion you’re familiar with.

i have lived in los angeles for three years and have successfully avoided participating in any of the aforementioned “LA!” things. i had always assumed i would continue living life with agency, avoiding things that were anathema to me for the rest of my life, but then something happened. last month, i went to coachella. 

coachella is a music festival you might know of if you are alive and know of things that are annoying. 

before attending this entropic weekend, i just imagined it as an outdoor forum for people to exhibit their vast collection of beige, fringed clothing in what you might call a *real life “shop this look” you want to unsubscribe from*.

but, it was so much more. 

it was tens of thousands of people working towards a collective goal of becoming one giant, constantly rejuvenating cliche.

it was your best friend’s ex, the ghost of every girl you’ve ever seen in a bathroom at 3am, the son of that woman who’s always shouting on the app “next door” about something exactly zero people besides her give a fuck about, people you’ve seen on instagram and wondered ‘where do these people hang out’ and shuddered with gratitude realizing you’d never be in a room with them ever in your life unless you got lost and for some reason ended up at a meet and greet for one of those problematic youtube people…

it was all different types of people unified exclusively by their unique ability to exist only in a drunken coke haze.

and then there was me.

being in public socially is one of the most unnatural things for me - i’d be much more at ease drowning, for instance, or trapped inside a tabernacle - but i was obligated to attend for reasons that aren’t an interesting part of the narrative.

off top, coachella combines two of my most hated and feared things: fun, and men with verified instagram accounts. in addition, as someone who doesn’t really GET music, and whose anxiety barely allows her to hang out with the two people in her life who still afford her the privilege of calling them a friend, this, of course, was a catastrophic 72 hours for little binx.

things kicked off as you might expect - with a man spitting water out of his mouth onto my face with zero provocation (and less than zero repercussion!) while i stood awkwardly at the entrance of this thing - and then devolved from there… culminating in me walking 5 miles to a “nearby” CVS to get an uber at 11pm because the idea of that was somehow more compelling than spending even two more minutes inside that gated night terror.

i don’t understand the equation for fun; the math doesn’t compute for me - and while i assume it’s remedial because i routinely see the cast of jersey shore continuing to enjoy themselves, i cannot crack the code.

after i swiped my wristband nine hundred and sixty five times and got to the area designated VIP, i tried to have fun. i smiled dumbly into space in case someone i knew could see me, or in case i was in the back of a famous dog’s instagram story. i moved the lower half of my body v subtly so as to imitate dancing. i did my best to pretend that the sensory overload - from instruments smashing to make sounds amplified by millions (??) of speakers, the aroma of axe body spray and that perfume shaped like an apple, juul vapor, and the cacophony of clanking bangles, body chains and human beings yelling “yaas” - was not attacking my sensibilities in an irreparable way.

after 9 minutes, i was ready to go. of course, as i was not alone, and this was not an event i could just leave by myself without saying goodbye - like, say, my cousin’s wedding, or 30 seconds into any dinner party i’ve ever been at where someone was funnier or more interesting than me - i had to continue to feign appreciation for this $2000 string on my wrist by doing more smiling and swaying.

more music i don’t care about, more spray tan fumes, more photos to convey the hashtag “blessed”… and then finally it was time to leave. 

but first i had to run into someone who had friend zoned me mere weeks prior to this.

and by “run in”, i of course mean that i saw this person, *absolutely singlehandedly* made a point to go out of my way to approach him, and then harassed him for a disturbing amount of time about something i already knew the answer to!!

i am a symphony only a dog whistle can orchestrate.

anyway, great… only six hundred twenty more swipes of this hand noose and i would be free.

but no, not so fast, because once we’d swiped our wrist bolo ties enough times that it felt like we’d given dozens of ghosts hand jobs, i looked up and realized we were no longer within the confines of that delusion jamboree, but we were standing on the concrete flanked by a committee of some of the most unhelpful people i’ve ever come across outside of the people who let you into the TSA lines at the airport.

and on one hand - we escaped! - on the other - no no no.

and so began our long day’s journey into night, brilliantly erasing the horrors of coachella and replacing them with a cursed 110 minute tour of indio’s main through street.

when we got into our uber a fortnight later, an ariana grande song i had heard for the first time (and subsequently 50 times thereafter) came on and as i looked at my phone, realizing that it would take another 45 minutes to get home, i was like “ooh. this is fun.”

#coachella #things that are important #things that are not fun

[berthacwoods-blog]

Insta Keto

In this way, it's constantly essential to be cautious and use items with alert until you know how they work for you. The correct answer would be Insta Keto. In this way, you shouldn't need to stress over a lot. In the event that they're available, you can discover them by clicking any picture on this page at the present time! In this way, simply use alert. You probably gather that I'm useless as a pocket in a pair of underpants as if that isn't a paramount decision. Since, this equation helps switch your body's common fat eliminator on. Essentially, you would prefer not to utilize something that makes you hopeless. At that point, tap any picture on this page to check whether it's available and get it now! Yet, Insta Keto Diet Pills can change all that. If you change your mind, let fellow travelers know. Our bodies like to store fat, not consume it. Since, we'll put a similarly incredible fat eliminator in its place, so you don't need to leave with next to nothing. We should end with a review of the thoughts on Insta Keto. Try not to stress on the off chance that they sell out, however. That is so right as soon as I felt the need to chime in as to Insta Keto. Be that as it may, that is not everything they can do. For your first little experiment with Insta Keto, it doesn't actually matter. Insta Keto Pills Review: Online EXCLUSIVE ? Not In Store Contains ONLY Natural Ingredients Each Bottle Comes With 60 Capsules Should Take 2 Pills Every Single Day 30-Day Ketosis Program For Fat Burn Restricted Supplies ? Act NOW To Order! Insta Keto is getting really out of control. Lastly, I must mention Insta Keto because it may hurt you too. What's more, that is difficult to keep up individually. This essay is basically just to reinforce the reasons I have for Insta Keto. Some sorts of Insta Keto are really hard to come by. That's right, you got it: ketones! What's more, that is actually why such huge numbers of individuals as of now use and love this recipe.

Also, these BHB Ketones can enable your body to get into ketosis and remain there until you consume with smoldering heat your fat stores. I do plan to seriously try this Insta Keto program out. Also, what are the fundamental fixings in this recipe? Here's a list of questions you should ask yourself. In any case, it's much additionally baffling when you're attempting to get more fit and you get no place. Once more, that is likely in light of the fact that your body isn't in fat consuming mode. It's effortless to get caught up in technical and visual details of Insta Keto. As a rule, it's the eating regimen pills that have counterfeit fixings that reason the most issues. Here are a number of winning approaches. Be that as it may, Insta Keto Pills works with your body to cause it at long last to consume fat. Since, request is high, the cost is low, and it's selling out everywhere. I am not may be pleased with that. What I'm getting at is you might want to say what you mean when that details Insta Keto so poorly? It's an old endurance method we don't generally require any longer, however our bodies keep on doing it. Once more, BHB Ketones are like the ketones your body uses to get into ketosis. It will be a robust conclusion. Many Insta Keto websites have forums where you can find info. Just how do you do that? As we referenced, the Insta Keto Price is genuinely low at this moment. Many nuts go to school to learn that skill. As others have stated, at least that tells me there are still scholars interested in Insta Keto. That is driving up request. They're working on constructing a new Insta Keto. I wish I had written that story earlier. In this way, you need to keep up it until you arrive at your ideal weight. Conventional ketones help get your body into ketosis. The most effective method to Order NutriPharm Insta Keto It's a great opportunity to attempt keto for yourself! In addition, the Insta Keto Cost is entirely low at this moment! Things being what they are, would you say you are prepared to give it a shot and start consuming fat quicker than any time in recent memory? I was incorrect. This is the take-away: There is a rather a lot implausible with what I am saying. It has the ability to push your body to consume with extreme heat fat stores quicker than at any other time.

[mikermorriss-blog]

Signing up for College? Ask these 4 Questions

The online for-profit programs have had a lot of bad press lately. Notwithstanding the overall criticism of falling educational statistics, dubious recruitment practices and invalid accreditation issues, for choosing a for-profit college has its own benefits for the average students, especially with low GPA’s. The un gainful employment rule will help the government to close down most of these dubious for-profit colleges. This rule works based on the debt to earnings ratio. If you are spending a certain amount of money out of a loan for college, the income from the job that you land in must be proportionate to your repayments without making you a defaulter of the loan. Let us analyze a few key questions to ask before signing up for college.

  What is the total cost?

While we cannot say the non-profit colleges are out there to get students without their benefits in mind, continued cases of dissatisfaction over the financial practices of private colleges have to be taken into account as well. Most of the colleges provide great CRM during recruitment and development processes. This implies students are not given the opportunity to actively analyze and make decisions on the financial viability of their enrollment decisions. This is not intentional on the part of the college. Yet, the span between getting selected and starting classes is mostly a rush especially for students who are enrolling in the last minute. Therefore eclair analysis of the total fee, payment structure, financial aids, and other deductions must be calculated and clarified to the satisfaction of the student's before and rolling. Students do not want to end up neck-deep in debts at the end of their education. So an analysis of when the actual repayment starts, how much percentage of the total cost does it cover, and if that a student will have a minimum job guarantee after his employment are the very important questions to get a clear and satisfying answer before enrollment.

  Verifying the credentials

There are many e organizations that provide certifications and accredit colleges. While most of these organizations or I actually recognized by the government, some of them act are either completely fraudulent or have become dysfunctional from a legal perspective. Some colleges may have national accreditation while some colleges provide regional accreditation. A clear understanding of the field and the employer preference between these denominations can you clarify if we are in the right type of accreditation based on the location. The department of education website has a current listing of the Agencies that can provide accreditation and it is mandatory to check whether the agency that backs up our college of choice is currently in the list. Some programmatic accreditation for preferred by certain employers as well. Therefore, it is advisable to check prospective employer advertisements and any mention of specific accreditation that would be an added advantage along with the degree upon completion.

  Inquiring job placement

All colleges are now mandated by the government to release their placement list during recruitment. If a college does not supply this information, students have the rights to ask why and know their job prospects before applying for the course.  The list may vary based on whether its national level list for only regional recruitment. So you must analyze this difference very carefully to find out what are the exact Jobs available on campus recruitment upon completion of the course. Any location preferences or field specifications must at least be e decided at a very basic level for this inquiry to yield benefit. Therefore, a clear understanding off the career path could be one of the major steps in preparing for college. Enquiringly with alumni associations, social forums, and social media about the validity of the placement assurance can help double-check your job prospects.

  Knowing the value of the degree

While every degree is a qualification and fulfills the goal of providing knowledge, there is a discrepancy between the demand for various degrees and some demarcation between on-campus and online students. This is not a singular equation and will vary from field to field based on the level of employment, practical experience required and the current trend of the HR market. Sure shot ways for checking the validity of the degree will be to check success stories on alumni websites from the same course and a little bit of research into job portals to understand the employers' mindset. Watching the nuances like "preferred full-time degree" or "internship for online graduates" ok in the job descriptions of recruiters can help identify the value of the degree that we may up time if we join the particular course.

#Online Education #Homework Answers #College Homewok Answers #Scholaron

[derekscorner]

Ambiguity

Alright so it’s still on my mind. The end results of this discussion (link). TDLR as the kids say, the concepts of nobodies-gain-hearts and “walking heart” theories bother me.

“If nobodies can gain hearts, why seek their old ones?” and “If a heart can construct a material vessel then what purpose does a body-soul combo serve?” are questions that plague my mind.

For those not in the know, KH2 established that life as we know it in the series has three specific elements:

Three elements combine to create a life: a heart, a soul, and a body.But what of the soul and body left behind when the heart is lost?

When the soul leaves the body, its vessel, life gives way to death, but what about when the heart leaves?

-Secret Ansem Report #4 (KH2)

A body to give you shape, a soul to give it life and the heart to give yourself. Heartless and nobodies are born when the heart is striped from this equation. Actual death, as defined here, is caused when the soul is extinguished.

When I was younger the soul was a huge pet peeve of mine. People seem to give it more importance than it holds. Even well known channels like HMK confuse this, usually attributing it to the Lingering Will entity.

I wont delve into that old tangent now because this got me thinking on another issue. For years I thought the story explains things that didn’t need it while leaving things that could use it ambiguous.

This is just one of those moments, in hindsight you can see the heart-body-soul fact only exists to explain nobodies as an entity. They’re that living body which has lost it’s heart. The heart’s will was too strong to fade and thus the body clings to existence.

The question that stems from this however is “was that explanation necessary?”

Was it needed? In the long term it’s caused more nitpick questions or misunderstandings than it’s really helped. Which, in fairness, not many read these rules anyway and the ones that do all tend to see it in their own light. Such as the youtuber HMK.

(I’m only using him specifically due to a vid I recently watched btw)(the wikis and forums tend to have just as many)

For example, aside the two question I offered earlier you can further ask:

How do replicas like Xion or Repliku live? Did Vexen just manufacture a soul?

Why does the body+soul of a nobody seek a heart endlessly while beings who’ve cast theirs aside have no such longing? The heartless are mindless, Vanitas wishes to be part of Vens heart and Sora never experienced an issue from being split from his normal body.

How do we explain the souls in KH2′s Underworld?

Is the mind and will truly tied to soul as many believe? If so then how come Sora held the entirety of both after Roxas was born? How come Ansem and Xemnas seemed to hold their own after Xehanort’s would’ve split between them?

This brings other concepts into question. The mind as KH knows it seems to be separate from the heart yet born of it. Terra’s “mind” is inhabiting the armor, the “mind” of people persist in their nobodies, the “mind” of Sora and Ansem persisted with their hearts.

Hell, Roxas and Xion developed their own minds. One being a artificial person and the other half of one.

It just brings up a lot of questions for the concepts KH throws in. As my friend @blackosprey put it, these ideas feel more half realized than truly defined.

It doesn’t even end at the metaphysics either. Time Travel, yes I’m going there, is another hilariously introduced concept.

Xehanort establishes rules to it sure but he also contradicts them within that very sentence. Whether he recalls the memories or not, he admits they mold him into Master Xehanort. That’s the future altering the past.

Yen Sid sends back Riku and Sora. People do point out they’ve filled some of Xehanort’s rules prior but that’s moot because they aren’t traveling on their own. It is Yen Sid sending them back and all we know is that his method required a past version be there.

Hell, in Merlins first introduction in KH1 he bluntly tells you he time travels in his free time. Merlin, in his source movie and in this universe, canonically travels time as a recreational hobby. Then there’s the door to Timeless River.

Then there’s the very scary implications of Maleficent time traveling alllll the way back to Chi just because some fake digital construct of her exists there.

To Nomura’s credit, he’s not used this as an excuse to alter the game entries (yet) but it’s like each example just follows their own rules. Why have them if the rules are not followed?

So, you’re probably wanting me to get to my point. My point is that the things we get explained or introduced to us tend to cause more logical leaps than they do solidify a set of rules.

Yes exceptions exist, notably Ansem who retained his sapience for a decade, but this all ties back into the title. Ambiguity.

Just imagine this with me, let’s say the heart-soul-body thing never existed. Let’s just say Yen Sid’s explanation in KH2 is all we got on them. How much does that change? In fact how many of those questions I ask vanish?

KH1 makes it clear the hearts is an equivalent to what we’d consider a soul or mind. It’s clear there’s a physical body and a spiritual heart, if you only had these two and left it at that nothing changes. If anything it highlights even more how intrinsic the heart is. Every enemy in the game is based on the heart in some fashion.

Heartless? Darkness of the heart, the more you have the greater the monster. Nobodies? That heart’s will, it’s desire to live. The stronger the will, the more human the nobody will appear. Vanitas and the Unversed? The literal darkness and emotions of Ventus. The Lingering Will? The mind according to Xehanort and Terra’s strong hatred according to Nomura. Replicas? Notorious for developing their own sense of self, their own hearts.

Then ya got time travel. There’s so many alternate methods, on top of Xehanort contradicting himself, that any such statements minds well be moot. All you had to do was establish that Xehanort is unable to alter past events.

Of course, introducing this concept at all was poorly received and may have been best left out as opposed to being left ambiguous. Merlin can’t be altered since he has that power in his source material but as supporting cast it wasn’t an issue.

Instead of moments like this we could’ve used that time on things that could use explaining. Like why did the Ventus-Vanitas fusion produce an Xblade if it’s wrong in method?

Why do keyblades exist in the Dark Realm? Can any wielder gain one by going there? Why did only Mickey acquire one? (yes I consider these of needing answers since they felt the need to make 0.2)

Or heck, the best focus would’ve been on characters. They’re in need of it the most, they need the explanation, not the ambiguity. *coughneglectcough*

Anyway, I hope I’ve explained myself well. I feel into tangents here and there but it’s simple. Do you, as fellow fans, feel there’s things that was better left unstated? Do you prefer the mental gymnastics of trying to overlook them?

What things do you feel needed explaining and what do you feel needed less? Lemme know.

Edit:

I just remembered another one, data. I felt Tron was ok in KH2 but the recent titles seem to have taken great liberty with it. Especially the headache of explaining DDD’s Tron world.

#kingdom hearts #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3

[racingtoaredlight]

spencer096′s Precision Bass Project:  Setup

Everything I talk about today is going to be unique for every musician.  Beyond the actual instrument, setup is the most personal aspect of an electric guitar or bass.  The setup affects the physical feel of the instrument while you’re playing, but also the sound and your choice of notes.

So today I’m going to talk about the various aspects of the setup, why I set my instruments up the way I do, and the reasons why someone might want to set theirs up differently.

The only wrong answers here are in regards to intonation...if your guitar or bass is setup in a way where the fretted notes aren’t in tune with the open string, your setup isn’t correct.  Pretty hard to wiggle out of that aspect, but the rest of the variables of setting up an instrument are all valid as long as the musician prefers it that way.

***

STEP 1 - What do you actually want?

The biggest reason I’m building a P-Bass is because it’s organically at home in a wide variety of musical styles.  But if you’re a busy slap player, flatwound strings, high action and a single Precision Bass pickup in the neck wired in series is not going to give you anywhere near the sound you want.  Bright, light guage strings with low action, a bass wired in parallel, an onboard preamp for boost and EQ is the recipe you need.

That’s why setup always starts with asking yourself what you want to play.

***

STEP 2 - What strings do you want to play?

We talked about this yesterday.  Before you even begin to start the setup process, you need to answer this question.

For a lot of guitarists and bassists, this is an afterthought.  I mentioned that I was like this with guitar...D’Addarios were more than good enough for me, so why even waste time thinking about it?

Well, when you’re setting up your instrument yourself, it’s the most crucial ingredient because the strings are the element that puts tension on the neck.  And since setup is almost entirely related to making sure the neck operates perfectly, that tension is the biggest variable you need to account for.

Among the string manufacturers, each model has a different tension.  And each individual gauge offering of that model has a different tension.  While you can crunch numbers to your heart’s delight, it will still only get you in the ballpark as far as adjustments are concerned.

That’s why, once you get everything set up, typically musicians will stick with that same model and gauge...or they’ll get something new and make adjustments to the truss rod when they switch.  The more important aspect is to understand that the fewer variables you place on the neck, the longer and better it will respond without maintenance.

***

STEP 3 - Fuckin’ around pt. 1

I fucking hate this part of setup so goddamned much.  It’s just so much “well lets try this, great still more adjustments to make, great gotta take the neck off again, great...”

This problem was solved long ago...Gibson never had this problem to begin with...but on vintage Fenders, you gotta take the neck off to adjust the truss rod.  While you can just pop it up like in the picture below, you still have to fully screw and unscrew the four neck pocket screws every time only so you can turn that neck screw a quarter turn.

But that’s only after you string up the bass, check the fret height to make sure it’s where you want it...

...make sure there’s no fret buzzing (which there will be)...

...so you make some adjustments to the bridge...

...and the intonation’s now whacked, so you adjust the other end of the threaded saddle...

Next step...

***

STEP 3 - Testing fret buzz and intonation

So how do you test fret buzz and intonation?

Easy...you play every fret, and if it buzzes, you know you have to raise the action.  To test intonation, make sure the instrument is in tune first and foremost.  Then make sure the artificial harmonic on the 5th fret is in tune.  Good?  Good.  Repeat on a fretted 12th fret note, harmonic on the 17th fret, and then the octave harmonic just past the end of the fretboard.

It’s not as easy to say once you have no buzzing and good intonation, you’re done.  If you want low action and it’s sky high, it’s not a great setup.  Next go around, make adjustments to the bridge.

IMPORTANT NOTE...always loosen the strings when taking off the neck of a bolt-on guitar or bass.

***

STEP 4 - Fuckin’ around pt. 2

The truss rod is the adjustable rod that’s installed in the neck of a guitar or bass, allowing it to be adjusted to keep the neck straight when environmental conditions change.  This might shock you, but wood expands in warm weather and shrinks in cold weather.  Over time, this can warp the neck unless you periodically setup your instrument and get it back to normal.

When we started on our brand new neck that had never felt any tension before, it likely looked like number 2.  When we put strings on it for the first time...or if we change strings that have more or less tension than what was previously on the instrument before...the neck needs to be readjusted, likely looking like number 1.

Now, adjusting the truss rod is NOT how you adjust the action (height of strings from the frets, this is adjusted primarily at the bridge)...but it’s part of the equation.  And that equation is the same as it was in the previous section.

Adjust the truss rod, measure action, test intonation and fret buzzing, adjust action, adjust intonation, check to see if the neck is straight.  That’s a relative straight too, by the way.  A perfectly setup neck...no matter how low the action is...will still have some relief.  You just don’t want the dreaded back bow or warp.

You might have to repeat this whole process three or four times until you get it right (or more, unfortunately).  It’s important to note that you should always have someone help with the truss rod if you’ve never done it before...too much can literally destroy the instrument’s longevity.  Only turn the truss rod a quarter turn at a time, never more, even if you think it needs another one...spending 30 extra minutes is worth it if the alternative is making it impossible to ever adjust your truss rod again, or worse, cracking your neck.

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STEP 5 - Adjust pickup height

Once the neck, bridge and strings are all good to go, you might want to tweak the sound of your instrument further.

On forums, you always hear a lot of chatter about pickup changes, modifications...shit like that.  Sometimes it’s valid, but most of the time it’s just an excuse to buy something instead of practice.  I understand it more with guitars, but not basses to be honest.

But hey, sometimes we’re just not happy with how we sound.  But before dropping $150 on a pickup and paying someone $100 to turn four screws and make two solders, maybe try adjusting the height of your pickups as that can have a pretty drastic impact on changing your sound.

If you want more aggression and higher output, move those magnets closer to the strings.  Want a mellower, more tonally dynamic sound?  Move ‘em away.  Experiment until you find your sweet spot.

On Precision Basses, there is an interesting quirk.  The split-coil pickup and the rounded radius of the vintage fretboards made the intended design somewhat of a church-steeple type thing, where they’re higher in the middle than on the ends.  Most people adjust them so they’re sitting flat...and as fretboard radii have flattened, this has become less of an issue.

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You’ll know when it’s to your liking.  That is, if you do it yourself...

This is a skill that has been completely and utterly lost amongst the newer generations of guitarists and bassists.  Ever since the emergence of specialized  guitar technicians (/snickers) and big box guitar stores, it’s been much easier to simply hand your instrument off to an “expert.”

The amount of horrible setups I’ve seen done by these types of professionals is more common than the great ones.  There are good luthiers in most major cities still doing great work like this, but they’re completely jammed due to demand.

But more importantly, if you’re a musician, you should know how to setup your instrument yourself, rather than explaining to someone else what you want.  It’s something that I’ve found allows you to understand how your instrument behaves, and in the process, gives you insight into how to better utilize it.

Working on your own instrument kills the “grass is greener” thing and refocuses your mind on the end-product of making music, rather than playing guitar Legos.  That time you spent setting up your instrument to allow it to perform its best is time you weren’t wasting looking at new instruments.  It gets you thinking about enhancing your performance in real life.

A lot of the great guitarists and bassists did their own work.  It was an essential part of being a guitarist...as much as playing and technique, knowing the ins and outs of their gear was a rite of passage.  It could be Stevie Ray himself re-routing his Strat for a Hendrix-style lefty trem, or Van Halen’s Frankenstrat, or Jaco putting on the P-Bass neck he used to practice as the credits rolled on his instructional video...those instruments were as much a part of those musicians as their hands.

Good setups are done with practicality in mind.  What you want from the instrument in order to make the best music is what you should ask yourself during every step of the setup process, because then understanding how to adjust the instrument to meet those requirements is easy.

#music #fender #precision bass #p bass #spencer's precision bass project