#genuinely don't know how to react

[hiraya-rawr]

wait. . . you're not alhaitham's weapon– 😦

#genuinely don't know how to react #ive been begging for 5 star polearms for so long #but i never got one #and ive never gotten TWO five stars at once?? #what is this #the one time i genuinely need a sword #this happens #im?? happy?? but sad???? #archons #hira rant

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

Heya beautiful

They should put you on a menu ya know?

Cuz you're such a delight ;) ;) ;)

oh?? uh......thank. you?

#genuinely don't know how to react #like one hand thank you? but at the same time ???? #who are you???? #either way a little weird I'm sorry #this weirded me about a bit ngl cuz idk who you are #you might me a middle aged person for all I know #like thank you for the compliment #but the pickup line made me a little uncomfy bc again. #who are you

[helpimstuckinafandom]

I just processed that Zac is gonna play a character from the Dairy Isles in the Ravening War and that theoretically means he's supposed to have a scottish accent

#will it happen? who knows #but i genuinely don't know how i'l react #acoc #a crown of candy #the ravening war #dimension 20 #zac oyama #colin provolone

[kaseyskat]

hi it's nyx here once again to talk about lark vs henry and what that meant for sparrow because i swear every episode that shows even a Little bit of sparrow's actual personality is controversial.

"nyx what do you mean by this" well it's a very blatant fact that sparrow does not get much nuance in the fandom: this is especially prevalent when examining hero's conversation with normal where she explicitly calls out lark and rebecca alongside sparrow and yet sparrow is solely blamed. because of this, every time we do see sparrow be his genuine self in the show - from talking to scary and shielding her from violence to taking charge of grant and lark and wanting to help the teens to the most recent episode's case of him not believing in animal captivity - i've noticed people quickly jumping on him for being hypocritical but nobody asking why he would be hypocritical, or why he's made choices that clearly do not reflect his actual beliefs.

so let's talk about that, shall we?

i know i've talked about this before but it bears repeating: sparrow is complacent. he has consistently made decisions that go against his own beliefs, bottling up his actual thoughts on the matter in order to "keep the peace". we know this, this is a canon fact, he said as much about lark and rebecca's affair!

why does he do this? well to me, what makes the most logical sense is that this stems all the way to lark and henry's conflict. if the rogue card is only predicting anger and not enforcing it, that means there is more to lark's anger than just what happened with walter. part of that is his fear of being unable to protect the people he cares about, being helpless in situations where he could've done something, yes, but i do believe there's another root cause to his anger, one that would fuel him for decades: sparrow.

...well, more specifically, how henry changed sparrow.

we know that lark wasn't the happiest about the lovewolf split. after the lord of chaos arc, sparrow starts very slowly developing a separate personality, enough so that he and lark aren't necessarily the same kid, one unit, the same person twice. sparrow tried to teach lark his new philosophy, it was ultimately rejected. lark doesn't understand it! but he loves sparrow regardless. that disappointment, that resentment of how sparrow had changed... it goes back to henry, to henry giving sparrow that speech and reinforcing those beliefs!

we also know that originally, sparrow didn't want to pick a side. he wanted them both to get along! to reconcile! and we know that lark didn't tell him about what he saw on the throne, which has me believing that there were, perhaps, other things that lark didn't tell sparrow in crucial moments: such as his decision to release the doodler, since we really don't know if sparrow knew. sparrow would've been happy to reconcile the two, and it makes sense if this was something he didn't know but something that shakes his perspective: aka, what happens if lark doesn't confide in him. to get lark back on his side, he has to be on lark's side irrevocably, which means abandoning his peacekeeping and mediation to choose lark wholeheartedly.

so by the time the ep23 flashback happens... sparrow has lost that bit of personality he had started to form in s1. he's lark's other half again, helping him with plans, sharing his ideas. he has... you could say, lost his confidence in being a lovewolf, because despite his best efforts, it only brought more strife to his family and he doesn't want to lose lark. we know this! he doesn't want to lose lark!

and then, they find out the prophecy, that one of the twins will have a kid who will save the world. think about everything we know about lark, how stubbornly persistent he was on fixing things Himself since he puts the weight of the world on his shoulders alone. lark doesn't blame sparrow or henry, he only blames himself. would he jump at having a family to fix his mistakes? no.

but sparrow would.

so sparrow takes that burden from him. sparrow has hero when he is twenty, and lark gets to be the cool uncle who helps around the house and hero blames both twins equally so we know they did this together. sparrow doesn't want to lose lark again, he doesn't want to be himself, he adapts to rebecca's views because it's easier than admitting that maybe he shares some of the same- definitely makes him marrying a vegan centrist make sense, right? he can use rebecca as a scapegoat and it Works. his own personality gets shafted in favor of being the same man twice with lark, he bottles everything up, he disapproves but never says as much.

and he fucked up with hero. clearly, he knows that. hero has a regular life now at a private school with a job and an internship and she's a massive dweeb and i don't think any one of you could look me in the eye and say that lark approved that. it was sparrow's decision! and we know what lark thinks about sparrow's parenting: i need every one of yall who truly believes that lark would be a better father to normal to go and relisten to normal's introduction scene in ep1 and then to the end of ep24 again where lark explicitly tells normal that being the mascot is a waste of his time when he could be learning "actually useful" skills (like hunting and survival- and yall still think sparrow was the one having hero kill deer?) and that he's too soft-hearted and naive and that is sparrow's fault for being too nice. normal would not be the same kid if lark was raising him and that is NOT a good thing lmao

all of this to say. i am so tired of people understanding lark's nuance and understanding grant's nuance and understanding the s1 dads and their nuance and how their trauma fucked up their relationships with their kids and yet sparrow is the one yall bash every other week repeatedly without ever wondering like. huh. maybe it is strange that his actions now don't hold up against his actions in the past. maybe there's something else going on that is consistent with literally every other aspect of his character. it is so tiring to go into his tag and see the same things over and over and over again repeated on loop every time we see sparrow's actual personality slip out beyond him perpetuating the "same man twice" persona. he's nuanced! they're all nuanced! and that's a good thing!

sparrow's biggest issues are his complacency, the way he upholds decisions that might not really be the best decisions because it's easier. his love for lark and his desire to fix things clouds his judgement and yeah, that means he goes against his own morals frequently; or at least, he did. so far in the season though, with how he's treated normal being in the line of fire and getting into his mess, he's definitely already realized this and is putting in the work to ensure that normal doesn't go through what hero did- something that lark is not doing. sparrow's also been the best towards the other teens consistently, the most willing to listen and change his perspective (as demonstrated again in ep24- really i just think people need to relisten to ep24!) and he's definitely not the best dad but that can be said not just about all the kiddads but also about literally every dad in this podcast, because that's what this podcast is about. thank you for reading and i hope i don't have to make this post again in a few weeks <3

#dndads #kasey rambles #dndads spoilers #sparrow oak garcia #i didn't even go in sparrow's tag this episode because i KNEW the vibes would be rancid #its actually genuinely frustrating to be unable to go into your favorite character's tag because people are being consistently shitty #i can pull out the receipts too don't fucking test me #sparrow's very easy to misconstrue because we only see him through normal and normal is VERY prone to overreaction #and we know this about normal because we see how he reacts to link and taylor All The Time #we can accept that normal's overreacting with link and taylor because we can see their viewpoint but sparrow's an npc #so we don't explicitly know whats going on inside his head #and i acknowledge that he's Not the best person lmao have the twins ever been good people? #but i still feel like lark gets CODDLED in comparison to how sparrow is treated #lark to me is like. he makes shitty decisions out of a desperation to be the one in control #and when they backfire it justifies his own self-loathing #sparrow only reinforces this which is. not healthy and why i keep calling for a twin divorce #but that doesn't mean sparrow's the one at fault for those shitty decisions lmao? #anyways. sorry for the rant and for how wordy this is im very fucking tired and grumpy

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺 #in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them #and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual #and this is. well. making me extremely sad. #12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it #i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew. #they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard. #so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha #it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing #that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before #my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹 #idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but. #me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up #is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me. #it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop #and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it #maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but #man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc #idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later #probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void #anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside. #🤍 #darya talks to herself

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[pyotrkochetkov]

BRADY SKJEI October 17, 2023 | © Andreea Cardani

#genuinely don't know how you could react normally to this man #brady skjei #carolina hurricanes

[singsweetmelodies]

i think that many people in this fandom should go outside and touch grass for a moment, and try to remember that the drivers irl are not the same as the characters that we use for rpf fics.

"omg but i loved the characterisation of X in Y fic soooo much" that's great... but that characterisation is still not a reflection of who X is irl.

for example. "i can't believe charles said that, why would he say that? it's not who he is :/" girl. maybe that's not who he is in fic, and he probably wouldn't say that in your 21k charlos slowburn fest, but in real life, where he is a real person, he most absolutely can and did in fact say that.

just. it's fine to make the drivers say and do whatever the flying fuck you want in fic, but it's SO important to keep that line between reality and fiction firmly in mind.

#f1 rpf #rant #the things i have seen on my morning scroll.... you would not BELIEVE some of it tbh #i have genuinely seen some [redacted] girlies crying bcs charles said smth which didn't align with how they saw him for their ship #which.... #i don't know how to tell this to you but... your ship is not real #*charles wtf discord react* #anyways. i know a multitude of people have said this in a multitude of ways before #but still... it remains so true #the drivers as we read about them in fic are NOT the same as the drivers who are real people irl #not in any way shape or form #and if you're delusional about that then i... don't know what to tell you except GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE & TOUCH SOME GRASS #wake up!!! #rpf is fine... but ONLY so long as we are all sane about that reality-fiction line. PLEASE.

[skull-ishcloud]

I find it just hilarious how my mother will go all like "how can parents of disabled people not care to understand other disabled people". While she has a child with ADHD who she payed to get formally diagnosed (by that I mean she knows), and never ever bothered to search the symptoms.

#i mean she didn't even know poor time management was a thing #but its even in the shittiest symptom list #she probably thinks I have ADD lol #actually adhd #adhd #disabilities #ableism #tw ableism #i say hilarious cause how else would I react #i feel like there are other ways #like when something bad happens I just crack up laughing #ppl look at me and think im crazy #at the end I don't even cry #I for some reason genuinely find it all funny #I had a math test these days and at the end half of class was crying. I was laughing my ass off. #they probably thought I was either mean (and smart af) or really crazy #venting

[coquelicoq]

incredibly moved whenever someone tells me that i'm an easy person to be around when they're going through some shit. there's nothing more sacred to me than sitting with someone through death and grief and loss, things that i can't fix or do anything about except be there and let them feel their feelings without having to pretend to be chipper or hopeful or cheeruppable. i can't pretend to feel what i don't feel, which makes me weird and awkward in so many interpersonal situations, but i think it's also what makes people feel comfortable sharing this stuff with me, because they know that i won't judge them and they don't have to perform for me. i feel so lucky when i can provide that for somebody. i wouldn't trade it for anything.

#i wish my friends didn't have to go through hard shitty stuff. but when they do - because we all do sometimes - i am so thankful that #they feel they can share it with me #it's amazing how much a difference it makes to just be there and be genuine and not burden them with expectations #of how they should be reacting to something. like i guess that's pretty rare #and i sort of stumbled into it by being incapable of faking emotion. so i couldn't be fake chipper even if i wanted to #idk i feel like my first reaction when someone says this is like. i didn't even do anything? #but sometimes that's what you need! i think people get so in their head about doing and saying the exact right thing #and somehow 'fixing' someone's pain #when what actually matters is just being there. even if you don't know what to say. even if there's nothing you can do #just being there and letting them be sad. so they don't have to also be alone while they're sad #i can't make my friends less sad & that's almost never my goal. they're sad bc sad shit is happening. they need to be allowed to feel it #which i think probably also stems from my own history of depression and suicidality and the ways that people have reacted to that #i'm sure trying to help me but in reality actually just making me feel like i couldn't talk to anyone about it #because everyone just needed me to be okay #but i wasn't okay. and being expected to pretend like i was so other people wouldn't have to worry was making it harder #and more isolating. so i guess i just never want anyone to feel like if they're in pain they have to be alone #grief #relationships #my posts

[gaydri]

I know that everyone's saying kotoko isn't going down without a fight but... who exactly is she going to fight with? She's knows that it's literally impossible for her to harm Es, so I doubt she'd lash out like Amane. Like... do people think she's going to attack the innocent prisoners? The other guilty prisoners? Fuckin.. jackalope? Bc I'm ngl I'd pay to see her punt that creature

#She's shown that she really does care about other people validating what she does. #She wants to be drowning in the knowledge that she's right and all that. I genuinely don't think she's gonna b like “nuh uh you're wrong” #and then beat everyone up or something #I really don't know how she'll react tho. I feel like she wouldn't want to appear as disheveled and miserable as the guilty prisoners have #Like she wants to seem strong even tho she's falling apart inside. #She acts unbothered and rational while harrow shows us that she really isn't enjoying it at all #so I don't know what she'll do. I dont think she'll exactly accept it but I don't think she'll disregard what people are saying about her. #I don't think she's going to fall apart as visibly as the previous guilty prisoners. But I don't think she'll pretend nothing's wrong. #kotoko yuzuriha #milgram

[exausta-verytired]

I'm bringing all of you to the capoeira practice

#also wondering how many of you are only siblings because I'm pretty sure the first place I learnt to throw a punch was at home #I also got in a lot of physical fights because I took no shit with homophobic bullying and cat calling #but but. both football and capoeira in my neighbourhood were important to me growing up because it gave me the knowledge that I could in #fact beat up a man because physical strength isn't the only thing at play #and I do think the fact most boys grow up having very physical games while girls don't plays a huge factor in women being conditioning to #not react #genuinely think the most important thing when you're in a real fight. is how many real fights you've been on before #a lot of men are very weak for pain. you can beat them in endurance. like I understand there's disadvantage but I hate the DOOMY way some #women talk about men being larger/stronger as someone who's successfully fought off many situations #but this is also why I hate most self defense. like regularly practicing martial arts does help. but a 10 hours course will not kick in a #desperate situation where you need muscle memory. my best advice is if you don't know how to throw a punch just DON'T you can do more with #your elbows or slapping. just. a lot of fights it's being willing to let the desperation kick in and go for the throat yk #honestly I KNOW how to throw a punch and even I tend to go for elbows because I'm 160cm and not that strong lol #anyways my worst opinion as someone who works with teens is that I think sometimes we should let kids solve some problems with their hands #will always pretend I don't see gay students or women who get harassed throwing punches #some of you truly should've caused more chaos in your school years #also it's really sad that women were banned from capoeira for a long time some 'tradicionalists' still complain #it's all about being nimble and smarter in order to beat an opponent you ASSUME it's stronger than you. it just feels great #gave me a lot of confidence when I really needed ot

[egg-emperor]

ya know while I do still love a lot of e for everyone series I liked as a kid and didn't stop just because I'm older and it's "embarrassing" or I'm "too old for it" or some bullshit, all my most active interests in the past few years has mostly been dark edgy shit except for the Sonic series which has always been my main interest and always will. this was my bro's observation of that when I was talking about other stuff I'm into that makes me sound insane lol

so I'm so used to seeing much darker and edgier and gorier stuff etc in games so when I share a dark evil Eggman concepts/fics/analysis that I feel are pretty damn tame in comparison to all that, I'm just genuinely surprised when some people will react to it like "wtf is wrong with you this is so disturbing you monster you shouldn't write this" and all that. and that's with the way that I take direct inspiration from canon itself and the evil that Eggman actually does there

I literally never realize that some people would think what I was writing was that extreme, compared to all the stuff I'm finding entertainment in with the other series I like. I just write what I see in the games with Eggman and what to share the thoughts and creations it inspires in me with y'all. and I always try to tag it and will always take suggestions for tagging too/appreciate when it's pointed out to me that I didn't tag correctly

but these bad faith assumptions and judgements of my character as someone who wants to upset people aren't true. I'm not edgy for attention or to upset people like a bully or troll, it's just genuinely how my mind works and my passion and I just wanna speak and create from the heart and put it out there lol. and I always find that really fun but people try to start drama instead of either resolving it privately and sensibly or just blocking and moving on without telling people I'm trying to upset people on purpose

so anyway the best game of all time would be a game starring Eggman where the whole purpose is to kill as many people as possible XD /j

#basically as an edgelord I'm desensitized to Egg's evil and what I write and genuinely don't realize how upsetting it can be to ppl #cause I look at more extreme stuff on the regular and it's just chill and not shocking or disturbing to me #I also have low empathy that I can't control so I just can't guess or imagine how others might hypothetically react to what I'm creating #so if something upsets you you gotta let me know before asusming I do and intended it or don't care or something #I was just making what I like #and seriously just ask me to tag something literally anything in any way you want ever and I'll do it immediately #and if I forget my warnings and tags and all that also please correct me it's not on purpose at all #my post #important

[motherof-chaos]

Apologies in advance to everyone who has zero interest in Sleep Token because I am about to become insufferable 🙈

I see them this week AND I CAN'T COMPREHEND THE THOUGHT. AM I GOING TO MAKE IT? WILL I SIMPLY ASCEND? MAYBE EVEN MELT INTO A PUDDLE? WHO KNOWS.

Expect lots of Sleep Token reblogs with various states of uhinged tags 🙃

#Genuinely don't know how I'm going to react? It's gonna be SURREAL. #Sleep token

[ask-the-puppet-and-the-puppeteer]

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#ASKER. Asker my dear. Before you get upset. You did nothing wrong. Your message was wonderful. #The reaction of Blue Cat within the story is not representative of how one should react to a message like this. #Their reaction is an expression of their character. Their biases. Their traumas. Their personal frustrations. And their issues. #your ask just wonderfully triggered their explosion. it was bound to happen sooner or later. And your ask was a wonderful conduit for it. #so please please please don't feel bad about it. you helped progress the story emotionally. #anyways. this is what happens when someone grows up not knowing they're autistic #and so they never learned why they can't regulate their emotions like others #and others didn't know either and never knew how to properly deal with meltdowns #fun times all around /s #off game #off mortis ghost #off the game #askblog #ask blog #should I put any content warnings on this? Let me know cuz I genuinely don't know

[irregularbillcipher]

"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne

#imo on paper bill and kryptos have the healthiest relationship bill has ever had-- hell off paper too #BUT it's really just because kryptos has like nearly alway agreed with bill's decision making except for small bickery things #that really don't matter #YEAH kryptos has some weird bad upsetting feelings about the second dimension being destroyed but it's very much a #'oh wait the catharsis is wearing off' thing #while it was happening? the minute he realized what was going on he was all for it #bill isn't even inhernetly trying to manipulate andy this is truly just their Dynamic. which is unhealthy in itself but! not intentionally #andy is so lost in the 'bill is the best person i know and he's always right' sauce that he genuinely doesn't want ot argue with bill #he just assumes bill is correct and right and any weird feelings he ever has are just flukes #meanwhile bill just would not know how to react if andy suddenly started disagreeing with him on anything serious #like??? this is andy. andy's smart he knows what's up why is he suddenly being Stupid #he would not handle it well but also he'll never have to because they're so weirdly codependent at this point that this is just the Dynamic #and it's not flat out abusive like every other dynamic in bill's life but man. Man. #'i was eight years old before anyone was ever really nice to me and actually wanted to be my friend and now eons later we're #just enmeshed but we do genuinely care about each other and it's the closest thing to healthy that we know so we don't think we have to #change anything about our dynamic'