#get me out of here i'm in too deep

[rayless-reblogs]

Reading so many Regency romances is starting to feel weird because the same early nineteenth century celebrities keep popping up in the background as extras. How many times am I going to hear about Lady Jersey being sophisticated, or Beau Brummel being the sartorial aspiration for this or that romantic hero, and -- oh look -- it's HRH Prinny again, I hear he's large and he's here to flirt.

#regency #regency romance #georgette heyer #barbara cartland #clare darcy #sarah villiers #beau brummel #george iv #get me out of here i'm in too deep #i can't see past my own collar points and impossibly complex cravat #reading

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

#girl what are you doing...... #also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT #just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄 #girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you #if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌 #his muder is a part of him and its SEXY #robert chase #house md #malpractice md #i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf..... #i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5 #s6 everything instantly goes to shit #and stays shitty #chase should be happy fr #he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house #like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman #anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc #also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing #this has been a shitpost #anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf....... #anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer #i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers

#Ted Lasso #Jason Sudeikis #Theodore Lasso #*mine: gif #tedlassoedit #sweater/jumper game #ugh you idiot with that face #stop staring at me swan #here's a gifset for the sweater/jumper lovers out there and sorry this is a long post. I just couldn't make up my mind on some of these #I spent way too much time overanalyzing the casual sweaters/jumpers. I was trying to only show each one once but then just gave up #deep dived research on the Todd Snyder site that's the kind of overanalyzing that happened #there is a lot of lighting messing with colors and for sure there are some repeats in this but whatever #I had this idea way back when we saw the variety of color sweaters/jumpers for S3 #but after the end of S3 I lost a lot of feelings for this show #my motivation for giffing this show is not so strong anymore but there is a part of me that still wants to maybe try a layout set #I'm thinking of doing all 3 seasons and just an overall sweater/jumper encompassing gifset. both the work and casual together #kind of meh on how some of these turned out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #it might be the added switch to the new editor and that all of these have been turned into gifv nonsense #also couldn't get the caption font to do what I wanted in html or at least it looked alright in drafts but not in preview #PS: thank you talldecafcappuccino for reading/helping with my color debate/same vs not same sweater/jumper nonsense

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a. #birdsong. #wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac- #in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really. #i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track. #and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy? #it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that. #how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love. #i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together. #i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too. #the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe. #so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc. #i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

[angelsdean]

and what if i started 'dean is too nice to sam' truthing ?

#well. publicly. bc i already am truthing that sdjkfjd #LISTEN. this show was really really bad at portraying actual sibling dynamics dfkdgk like half their fights would not be that deep irl #like oh you tried to kill me? ok well here's a funny picture of dog and also that's you ok lets go get food #dean as the eldest sibling should've told sam 'i'm right bc i'm the oldest do what i say' like. alllll the time #bc he's right and he's the oldest :) and sam just has to accept that he will ALWAYS be the baby even at 39 yrs old #esp dean being a parentified older sibling like. sam is simultaneously his annoying lil brother AND his pseduo-child #even if sam doesn't want to acknowledge that dean was his main most stable parental figure growing up it doesn't change the fact that #for dean that's what sam is. and so oscillating between the two roles of older brother and parent makes for a complicated dynamic #where you'll like. die for them. but also tease them mercilessly and call them a lil freak and weirdo #(but if anyone else did that you'd punch them out) #but yea. canon dean. too nice. #should've teased him more and gotten into more play fights + actual fights that end w/ them laughing + getting slushies at the gas 'n' sip #siblings siblings #vic.txt

[elv-arts]

Redraw time! Nearly a decade between these.

The first one is the first art I posted on the internet, as soon as my parents let me make a deviantart account. I was thirteen and used to draw this kind of thing a lot.

The second I drew last night at 2am because I wanted to make 13yr old me happy and also i got possessed by the sleepy art demon.

[ID: Image 1 - a coloured pencil drawing of an "anime style" girl taking a selfie with takanuva from bionicle. The girl has pale freckled skin, long brown hair in a low ponytail, and a slim green vest top. One arm holds up the camera, and the girl and takanuva each have one arm around the other's back. They're smiling with their eyes closed and the background is a sunny view of the sea and a beach with a sand castle. There's some sun glare in the corner of the picture, wispy clouds, and the sea has sparkles on it.

Image 2 - a digital drawing of a person taking a selfie with takanuva. The person has pale freckled skin, an underbite, long brown hair with growing out buzzed sides tied in a ponytail, and a black tshirt with the sleeves cut off. They have chipped black nails, an ear cuff and a couple bracelets including a rainbow one. They are grinning and are making a peace sign. Takanuva's eyes are making a happy expression and he is also making a peace sign (or perhaps failed bunny ears) behind the person. The background is a blue sky with wispy clouds and a beach. End ID]

My art has changed a lot, and I've grown so much, but some things have certainly stayed the same lol

#bionicle #redraw #takanuva #kid me put so much effort into figuring out drawing bionicle #I think they'd be so happy to see how I draw them now #not to get too deep on silly bonkle selfie drawing #but kid me couldn't picture how i could ever be me and an adult #I didn't know i was allowed to be like any of the things i am now #i couldn't imagine being a woman and i'm not #i couldn't imagine growing out of the things i adored and i haven't #i couldn't imagine myself being happy as an adult and even though a lot of things do suck I am #idk man looking at them side by side experiencing feelings i wanna give that kid a hug #life is fleeting and ever changing but bonkles are forever lol #anyway yeah this isn't a masterpiece or anything i just figured it'd be nice to put it here #please excuse text mistakes i am very tired as usual

[grimgummies]

...

#Grim draws stuff #Grim's characters #spooky month #spooky month oc #fan character #ohhh Mortis lore finally #only took me 9 months since his creation and a good 50 rewrites to get to this PFF #can't believe my boy already has 100 images on toyhouse too?? #I don't have a fave OC istg #anyways #lore crumbs :3 #I changed some stuff from his backstory like 90% of anything I've written/drawn about him in the past is outdated #those were warmups guys I swear #I swear I wasn't super committed to an old idea that highkey sucked pff #but hey #I improved I learned #now I think I got a solid story #more coming in the future hopefully #I won't be doin things in order it's either lore bits or I'm committing to whole comics maybe but never in chronological order #maybe even stories too (like actual written stories) #you gotta guess what goes where /hj #also I better be stickin to this story now cuz those rewrites weren't for nothin #I love that he started as a silly guy that hunted ghosts now he's a fully fleshed out character and he's an exorcist instead #I originally intended on him being just a silly character with no super deep story but here we are :3 #I think this all started when I decided to make him lose an eye #from that point on I was like 'okay but how did he lose it?' #and then the illness began /silly

[millenniummmbop]

I firmly believe it would take yugi and kaiba years if not DECADES to finally figure it tf out and get together btw

#they'd be in too deep inside their own heads and far too emotionally damaged to even ATTEMPT to say anything to the other about it #like they'll make moves and grow closer as friends while working together but it'll take at least like AT LEAST their mid 30s #b4 they'll be like 'okay MAYBE there's a slight possibility there's actually something tangible here #and i haven't just been hopelessly deluding myself all these years' #I want them on that mulder and scully shit I want it to take 5 fucking seasons for them to even say it out loud to themselves #much less each other #they're going to waste so much goddamn time just staring at each other meanwhile wondering the entire time #if it's really THEM that the other is seeing and not just the ghost of a ghost #i want them to be SO fucking stupid about this fr #the most insufferable game they're going to play w each other #both so smart and so good at reading their opponents under normal circumstances but THIS is where they start second guessing themselves #bc again they just WILL NOT be able to get out of their own heads about it!!! #god i love it it's gonna suck SO HARD for them lmfao #THEY'RE JUST SO DUMBBBBBB #ignore me #i'm in rival hell this week don't mind me

[victorie552]

Hey, you know who was the most influential unnamed person in the whole Silmarillion?

That guy that took Silmaril to Dior* after Luthien and Beren’s death.

He had the Silmaril. He could do anything with it - run with it, eat it, take it outside the Girdle...

How do we know that Silmaril was meant to go to Dior* and not, say, Sons of Feanor?

*Edit: In a totally unexpected (...yeah) turn of events, I actually remembered this wrong! After Luthien and Beren’s death The Guy took the Nauglamir (?) with Silmaril in it to Doriath to give it to DIOR, not Thingol. Thingol was dead at that point. Thanks to everyone for pointing it out! (not changing the tags, let them be a reminder for me to read Silmarillion again)

#god I hope I remember that right #I don't have a book next to me and I'm too lazy to go and get it #I mean It's never said what Luthien and Beren wanted to do with Silmaril #just that it probably shortened their lives #unnessessary mysterious that #maybe they wanted to send it to SoF after their deaths? #if they wanted Silmaril to be a family jewel Dior was right there why send it to Thingol #or maybe Tolkien just didn't know how to get Silmaril from Point A to Point B #that's a valid option too #it just came to me out of nowhere #silm awakens the conspiracy theorist inside me it's like the 3rd time #silm #silmaril #silmarillion #Thingol #Beren and Luthien #sons of Feanor #ok the last 3 tags are just for clout here #have a nice day #sorry if it was discussed and resolved before I'm not that deep into fandom

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

[robotpussy]

anyways there really is too much interracial couples with white ppl propaganda going on rn cause I've been seeing white ppl left and right for MONTHS claim any black person either critiquing the abundance of this existing in media rn because it is not only a marketing ploy in some cases, they have to include white people because of the thing white people do where they force themselves to see themselves in anything they watch (which explains why they turn away from things that don't have a white lead because "they cant relate", or they have to change a character that isn't white to be more appealing to them in fandom)

but it is also done so white people can feel better about themselves by making themselves believe they are not complacent in white supremacy because they have a black partner or simply because ppl don't want to ship a black character with a white one (this month its been about spiderverse obvs) because they simply don't want to or because in the comics a certain character has a black partner are just a bad as racists like WOAH who gave you the authority to speak on shit like this?

#let me not get too deep into it cause ik a lot of ppl on here cant read but this is literally not the same fucking thing as racists #saying 'no race mixing' be fucking for real. its a fucking critique #the gall of white ppl. always the ones with leftist their bio too saying this too just itching to call a black person terrible cause #u have no reading comprehension #and if u want to call me a hypocrite for saying this when i had a crush on a white guy irl then do it because I'm not talking abt #real life couples im talking about shit in the media. i will ignore you #posting this now because of that zendaya movie that was kind of the last straw..... LIKE 2 OF THEM? #even that the line movie with halle bailey. alex wolff as her love interest like ok. what else is coming out

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos. #but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum. #this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering. #happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship? #(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.) #but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened. #so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it. #kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature. #so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work) #anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers. #(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

[eithernich]

carsitter

#shattered my phone screen now every photo has shards of refracted light over my face #will finally be chopping off my hair in a few days after such a long spell of being too messed up and depressed to take care of it #hasn't been this long since i was a kid #it's so scraggly #my body dysmorphia makes it next to impossible to register what i look like these days though #which is why i'm scared to post these but i'm doing it anyway fuck it #i was deer in the headlightsing in that second pic idc if my eyes look offputting and lopsided it's part of my charm. #“and now i'm aaalllll alooone in carsit land my only home” #funny thing about what i was wearing here is the jacket is what i've always referred to as my crash jacket bc it looks so much like the #one james wears except his is a dark brown and has buttons #and then ofc my shirt reminds me of the deep blue pajamas he wears in the airport hospital. etc. i was ballarded out #but then you've got the stargate(esque) glasses and things start getting mixed up #anyway i can't really see myself might delete if i feel too scared about looking like animated roadkill.................................... #self #00

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

The family legacy is always at stake! Dorian thought to himself, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he took another stiff drink, not at all missing the look Beau sent his and Emily's way; a look that said he clearly wished he could whisk the two away from this less-than-pleasant conversation.

It was a familiar phrase in his parents' vernacular (and he figured it was no different with Emily's parents); always hammering into him the importance of the Gracey legacy, a legacy he was supposed to uphold-he was expected to marry well, have an heir (preferably a son), keep up the family business, protect the fortune, and so on and so forth...it was tiring to hear; he'd heard it all his life, and whenever it was brought up, he couldn't help but feel irritated; frustrated by the desire to snap back and tell them that he didn't care, that he would marry who he pleased and would do what he wished and there'd be nothing they could do to stop him, yet unable to voice his true feelings.

"...what about William? George? Oh, there's so many names of past Gracey's that would be perfect for your little one!" Mrs. Gracey was going on and on, as Dorian's eyes began to glaze over, and he struggled not to let his irritation show, as his mother continued, "And just think! So many beautiful French names to choose from too! I'm sure there's many names in the de Clair family that would be just darling!"

What if I had a daughter? Dorian thought to himself miserably, as his mother seemed to focus exclusively on male names-honestly, it didn't matter at all to him the gender of his and Elizabeth's child (or children, he hoped), but if he were to give in to his parents' plans, what if he had a daughter? Would they be disappointed? He could only imagine they would; they always made it clear they wanted a son to carry on the family name...

#((oh hey solidarity! i've got anxiety AND ocd AND the 'final destination' series freaked me out too!)) #((but in all seriousness that series is NOT good for someone who is as anxious as i am)) #((because it plays on your fears; it's murphy's law x1000; anything that can go wrong will!)) #((and while it does it in a way that's very over-the-top and played up; that doesn't help in my opinion!)) #((honestly it's probably a BIG reason why i don't ever want to fly in an airplane)) #((already the idea of flying freaks me out thanks to all the news stories of planes going down/missing)) #((but that first film...oof. nope; sorry; i'm not here for it!)) #((again; i know people have pointed how logistically it doesn't work and wouldn't happen)) #((but look; i see a guy get trapped by a pool drain and gets his innards sucked out)) #((trapped underwater with no one to help him? oh hell no!)) #((i already can't swim/am afraid of deep water; that does NOT help!)) #outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Days of Future Past

[theramblingvoid]

Sometimes I think about how even when I'm trying not to be, I am entirely made of the people I love. I recently reconnected with a close friend I hadn't seen in about three years. Apparently they're into watching video essays now. I'm more of a gaming YouTube person, but to each their own, I've always known this friend to be a touch more academic than me anyway. Fair enough. We find other things to talk about.

It is two months later. My watch later list is entirely filled with video essays. Three years is not enough time to forget how to love somebody. I'm glad of that.

#voidrambles #how to explain. it's like #i don't know when to hug or how hard and direct complements make me uneasy and i just #affection in the way most people know it does not come naturally to me #i do it because it's detectable to other people and it's what they do for me and it makes them happy which makes me happy #which makes me sound quite disingenuous? i think that's the word. with my love #but #the games i play most are ones i saw one friend get very very excited about and i loved them before i even started playing them #i haven't thought twice about deep sea creatures since maybe middle school but i do now，all the time，and bugs too #i get excited when i see one because another of my friends would #in 2021 i made this one specific vanilla milk drink in the microwave dozens of times even though I don't like sweet vanilla that much #it tasted so good to me for the time i was close with the person i got the recipe from #i get excited when i see yellow flowers. yellow is not one of my favourite colours #I write because of all the things I've read and loved I keep a list of books friends speak highly of #I cook my pasta with oil even though it makes the pot harder to wash and i don't know if there's a difference to the taste #because i can't tell it apart from the warmth of someone else's proudly given tip joining my own routine #i don't know how else to say this #I'm running out of examples not because there are no more but because i can't tell them apart from things i am on my own #that used to upset me but i don't think it does anymore #this post stops here. it's late and i have a video essay to watch #i love you

[lenievi]

MCCOY: Look, Jim. I know what it means to you to lose a crewman. KIRK: That's only one down, Doctor. 

love how apart from seeing that Kirk is angry with McCoy in this moment, you can also tell by him calling McCoy “Doctor” three times in like one minute

and then he has time to cool down (and honestly the few seconds where he kind of awkwardly walks toward McCoy and prepares himself for an apology are so funny, but also so true and real) and he stops being the captain for those few seconds and

and switches back to “Bones”

but now McCoy is like

“Yes, Captain?” because he doesn’t know what to expect

and Kirk smiles and tells him “I shouldn't have chewed you out. I'm sorry.”

and all’s well~

#anyway just for my own reference for writing re: kirk being awkward lol #it's funny how different it is from the man trap where he was all smiling and coming closer and looking straight at mccoy #here he kinda can't look at him properly #anyway there's nothing deep about this just random thoughts #based on some tag comments i occasionally get i feel like people consider everything as 'this has to be special' #'why do you think this is special?' 'it's true for all of them' and like.... yes i've never implied it's something special or only true for #two individuals.... like ????? just let me ramble on my own blog? #people post wilder takes #also LOVE how Spock is on McCoy's side in this scene~ #tos nonsense #headcanon times #(since i'm already rambling in the tags it's also so weird to me that some people think that just because someone talks about only one or #two characters they don't care for others or other dynamics and like ???) #i just don't have spoons to be interested in too many characters... the same way i can't be actively participating in more than one fandom #Leonard McCoy #Jim Kirk #ETA: took out mccoy calls kirk 'captain' later for no reason because 1. the transcript was wrong 2. there's a reason