Turn back the tides
summary: Can you write a tfota fanfic where During her exile Jude gets killed Cardan sees her dead body, and The next day he is brought back in time to when Jude was still his seneschal in fact he is brought back to when Grimsen first asked to be a smith. Cardan with the knowledge of the future prevents Jude from being kidnapped and tries to win her heart. He can no longer be controlled by Jude through the bargain BTW and Jude begins to realize this. And Cardan ask a request of her for the bargain to stick. (She spends the night with him)
@nish247
tw: a bit of angst at the beginning, a pinch of child abuse, smut implied, cardan's pov lmk if i missed anything
masterlist ; requests
a/n: requested by @fantasyfox10123
first fanart: rosiethorns second fanart: lexaart (found them both on pinterest, i hope the artists are correctly listed as i've taken their names from the comments)
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
One thousand three hundred and fourty four hours. Eighty thousands six hundred and fourty minutes. Four million eight hundred thirty eight thousand and four hundred seconds. Four million eight hundred thirty eight thousand and four hundred and one seconds, four million eight hundred thirty eight thousand four hundred and two seconds.
I lounged on the couch in the anteroom of my bed chambers. Counting. My tail swayed lazily with each number that echoed in my mind. Four million eight hundred thirty eight thousand four hundred and three seconds. Since Jude left.
Well, since I exiled her. But my sweet nightmare is too smart not to have caught on the plan I've devised. Which can only mean she choose to stay.
I twirled on the other side. Perhaps the shift would stir my mind off such horrific thoughts. It used to work - being active as a child, I barely noticed my mother wasn't nearby. She'd pick me up and coo at me, tickle my belly and wrap my tail around her fingers every few days. Before being gone again. "Now, be a good, little fae and don't bother mommy, Cardan. I have so much to catch up since your mean father wouldn't let me have fun as long as you needed my body. Show mommy it wasn't all for nothing, sweetling," she'd say.
Now she has returned. She's here, at my court. Proud of her son, the king. Jude shall come back soon too. We were married after all. The stubborn mortal wouldn't agree with something as unsoundable of as being my wife if she couldn't rip off the benefits. I have proven myself worthy, hence the agreement. Perhaps Jude is catching up with all the time stolen from her in the mortal realm.
I moved again, draping my feet over the couch's nearest arm rest. My tail wrapped and unwrapped from my calf, still counting the seconds of Jude's departure like a loyal pendula. Oh, Jude. Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude. Come back soon, Jude. Bring that fire with you, burn me and the castle whole. Just come home.
Gulping down the half full wine bottle I threw carelessly at the couch's last night, my eyes closed. Pictures of her flood the darkness. Flashes of her angry frown right before her unseparable blade shone in the moonlight, frames of her deep in thought, cooking the craziest of planes and a crease of stubbornness above her top lip to see it through.
The thoughts got heavier and heavier. I hadn't much control over my mind. Barely aware of my fingers letting the bottle slip, I heard a muffled crack before an irony smell caught to my senses. Scrunching my nose, I looked around. It appears I have fallen asleep. But to what cruel happening do I owe falling asleep thinking of Jude and finding myself in such a dire dream.
There was grease everywhere, even in the air. The walls of what looked like the tiniest house I've seen were moldy at corners, peppered with holes that unraveled them as if they're made of paper. Odd looking objects scattered on the ground between plates, glasses and cutlery: a round, deep vase with handles, another one less deep with only one handle. I even spotted a bottle of wine, broken in two sharp halves.
It looked like a domestic battle field. My tail coiled around my torso, my fingers bowling in tight fists at my side. I crouched on the ground, looking for a hiding spot that wouldn't restrict my sight. But as soon as I was on the floor's level, tears pinched my eyes. My body managed to understand the view before my mind could even begin to wrap itself around it.
Red. So much red. Pouring still from some wound I couldn't spot, hidden under the hair. It used to be so freshly brown. The color of forests. Now it was sticky and darkened by blood, a tainted color like rust and decay. The flames licking at her eyes have been put down, nothing but coldness staring back at me. Cuts, some yellow, leaking with pus, some already drained of blood, some ripped through her clothes, covered her body.
King Eldred has been brutally killed. Even drunk, I could realize it. But he looked so peaceful in his death. Afterward. Like a sleep. Jude didn't. Her face has paled and sunk in her features, looking so much like when she returned from the sea. Drained, tired, scared, broken. Except, she never was broken when she emerged from the sea. Jude could never be helpless. It was strange to see her as such and I doubled back in shame. She would despise such thoughts.
I leaned forward. Shacking her. Screaming for her to wake up. "You can't die! You can't die, Jude! You're no mortal anymore, you're High Queen of Elfhame. Wake up!" I pleaded until my voice has gone hoarse, tasting my tears joined with snot.
Surprising even myself, I heard the door cracking open. See, Jude, the training really worked. I am a good spy. But not even the chance to point out how messily distracted I was didn't bring her back. She truly was gone. And when the large, tall figure stepped inside, carrying a hood reverently in front of her with disturbingly steady green hands, I understood how.
The Red Cape dipped the hood in Jude's blood, my queen's blood and I could do nothing to stop it. I was yanked back to my senses, in a pool of wine splashed on the carpet.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
A couple of days have passed since the dream. I couldn't catch a wink of sleep, much to my council's despair.
"Maybe Your Highness needs to drink more tea? Instead of wine?" One of them suggested after yet another meeting I was too distracted to fully attend.
My mother made it her prerogative to be part of these meetings. Lately, as I've been unable to do so, even stepping up and aid me in my leading duties.
"Something on your mind, my son?" She asked once the meeting ended. After the dreaded dream I have begun writing to Jude. I intended to give her space after the exile. Calm her undoubting rage, see through my carefully crafted plan, appreciate it, but still punishing me for going behind her back.
But after seeing her dead body violated by the gruesome ritual of a Red Cape, I couldn't bare not knowing of her. I begged her to return with every letter, needing to see her, my queen, my Jude.
"Has the messenger returned?"
"I don't believe so, no. Are you expecting important news?"
"Nothing to concern you, Lady Asha. Personal affairs."
"Oh, dear," she laughed. "You know that if you want to bring a consort or two for company you don't have to hide from me."
"Nothing like that, mother," I hissed. I knew Lady Asha couldn't possibly know to whom I'm writing. And her assumptions aren't far fetched at all. But the thought of calling Jude a mere consort filled me with rage. The mothers of my siblings and all the other consorts, are, of course, respectable faes. But I knew what they meant to King Eldred - and Jude was so much more for me; I know what little power they had in the Kingdom - and Jude wielded and wished to wield so much more.
I rushed to my chambers, yanking the desk's drawers open in search of paper and a quill. The scribbled writing looked rushed, like my unsettling thoughts. The pen leaked here and there, brushing over words with ink pools.
Jude,
Not even responding to my missives is ridiculous and beneath you and I hate it.
Cardan
I stuffed it in my shirt, held in place by my tail, not patient enough to wait until the messenger I have sent earlier this evening to return. Without the letter from today there were three more Jude didn't bother acknowledge. I just needed to know she's fine. Alive. Silence wasn't helping my worries. So, naturally, I had to go see for myself.
Despite myself, being High King grew on me. And seeing the Land witter away by the day because of my despair bore a new feeling of tightness in my chest.
I traveled to the mortal realm stealthy. One time I overheard my sister and Vivienne talk about the latter's house in the land of humans. From what I made of it, it wasn't far from where I was right now. But all these tall buildings, with the many windows and cage-like stairs at each, looked the same. I can't believe Vivienne would leave the luxury of her father's mansion in the Fae realm to live in this.
Thankfully, the mortals sleep during the night - oh, but what they miss! - and I can slip from door to door searching for my queen. I picked at the lock of one of the buildings, only to find out these ugly homes, weren't, in fact, homes. But a multitude of little houses crammed into one another.
And there were so many of them... and so small! How do humans live in these?
Composing myself, I tried the first door. It opened easily and I slid through a small crease, leaving it open for a quick exit in case it's the wrong house. As soon as I've seen the grotesque dolls lined up on a shelf, a collection of watches hanging on a wall and mirrors at every step I knew it can't be Vivi's. Definitely not her style.
I checked five more doors - an angry old lady shoving me away with her knitting needles', one full of drunk revelers (I would have stayed if I wasn't on a such important mission... they even offered me a drink, naive souls!), one where small people talked to a sleeping audience of two lovers wrapped into each other and one where three angry dogs chased me out - before I stumbled over one that gave me chills like never felt before.
The door opened just like the others. But the crack it let out sent shivers down my spine. My blood ran cold. It sounded just like the door in my dream. I took tentatively steps forward, eyes darting all over, hoping I wouldn't miss anything. I got the feeling I'd better be ten times more cautious in this place.
The walls were all the same. Everywhere. I stopped with a start upon turning on the corner. The main room was a mess: furniture arranged untidly, broken glass spreaded like puzzle pieces on the parquet and... holes in the walls. Round, fist shaped holes in the walls by the size of bowls. And the metallic scent, now more frowzy than it was in my dream.
I slid my feet on the floor, testing each step for creaks before leaning on it. It was just a dream. It has to be. Because if not, that meant Jude was indeed dead.
No, I shook my head. No. It's just a coincidence.
And I managed to fool myself until I saw the reddish hood hanged like a beloved portrait of a loved one over the weird box with small humans inside. A Red Cape's hood.
I stumbled back. In a moment of haggard, my tail freed itself from the containment of my clothes, swooshing the air hazardously. My missive fell. I hadn't notice at the time. It was the logical course of events that downed on me later, not sure why or how I could be smoothed enough to entertain such thoughts even after I left the horrendous place.
Jude's tomb.
No! I cried, rushing out of the house. The walls were closing in, the air turning stale. I am not sure I was quiet as I trained to be. All I understood was the image of Jude's cadaveric face, replacing over and over through the tears running down my face.
I didn't see the stairs. Tripped over my own tail like I was a baby again, crying for the ghost of a touch, a smile, a love I shall not receive.
I picked myself up. For a second, as I rolled down the dark hall of the building, the images stopped ponding in my mind. Then they came in in closer shots. I could see it clearer, begun to notice details I have missed the first time: Jude's parted lips and clenched teeth, a small wrinkle at the bridge of her nose, her thumb locked around her little finger, the one a servant in Madoc's house bit off.
Even in the last moments she stood her ground. She kept fighting. If not the Red Cape that attacked her, then death itself. My brave, terrifying queen. Always the fighter.
This can't end like this. Jude can't end like this. Dead in a honorless place, buried without mourners or speeches of her bravery held loud and clear over weeping heads, adorned in gold and richness worthy of only the High Queen of Elfame, the true nobility of the land, after years of ruling through prosperity I knew she'll bring.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
"Grimsen." He startled, almost dropping the... whatever it was he was making now.
"My Lord, what brings you to my..."
"Have you ever considered time travel?" I cut him off. Maybe being straightforward would cost me more than subtilty would. But I hadn't time to lose.
Well, if what I had in mind could work, I had all the time in the world. That wasn't the point, though. I cannot suffer one more second of life knowing Jude has passed the sill of it.
"Excuse me, My Lord?"
The idea of turning back the time obsessed me. I knew bringing back someone from the dead wasn't an option. Not a viable one, anyway.
All I could think of were "what if's". What if I hadn't exile her? What if she was never captured, so I needn't make no deal? What if I could save her? Because she was a fighter. Though she didn't lack patience and dedication, she would still much rather deal with problems quickly, with her own two hands.
I enjoyed working in the shadows. Thinking, contemplating different ways a variable can work out. More subtle. And what is more subtle than correcting a mistake or two when one has the power to make them disappear?
"Time travel, Grimsen. Don't tell me it never piqued your interest." I arched a brow at him, letting a conspirational smile play on my lips, hoping it would be inviting enough for the old fae.
"Why is my king asking?"
"Call it a curiosity inclined to your craft. A man talented as yourself, with such achievements to pride with, must have thought of the simple, mere time traveling question. No?"
I kept the smile, widening it to seem warmer. I joined the other eyebrow to its mirror, miming admiration. My voice was emptied of any sarcasm, devoid of color as I worded only the truest of my thoughts. Not only to hide my real intention by making myself believable, but also because I could not lie.
Grimsen's shoulders relaxed. A smile boost on his face as he straighten his back and rolled his joints. I cringed at the crack of bones, Jude's figure laying in that house again in front of my eyes.
"Shall I take this change of attitude as a yes?"
The old man at least had the decency to look sheepish. Though if it was but an act I wouldn't be too surprised.
"Apologies, My Lord. I have gotten ahead of myself. The interest your grace exhibits for my work is simply too cajoling."
Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I nodded my head with a lenient smile.
"The device? Would you have made one..."
"Of course, of course." Grimsen spin around, much too servile to not be suspicious. But he opened a small chest secretively and my attention poured back to why I was here. I couldn't see what he took from the chest until he put it back in the shelf and turned to look at me.
Grimsen dangled the string of a compass on his fingers, showing it off. I almost reached out to it, but he shouldn't take notice of my desperate eagerness.
Instead, I arched an eyebrow, folding my arms over my chest. "Well?"
"It's not a watch, My Lord. Anyone would expect a watch to take you back in time... or forward. It's a compass. No one would think to steal a compass for time travel, these are for directions," Grimsen grinned, obviously proud of himself. Once again the smith's behavior put me off ease. But there were more pressing matters to focus onto.
"Ingenious. How does it work then?"
"Very simple. You position yourself in the desired direction - north for future, south for past, then you press this button and -" he puffed audibly, suggesting a vanishing person. "Pinch it back and face east to return in the moment of your departure, or west to take your travel from scratches."
I pushed back against the delight threatening to overwhelm me. Anyone else would have inquired more. About the making process, the magic used, if it was tested. A better king perhaps would have question a previous usage of it and the purpose of it. Or ask about the eagerness he told me all I needed to know with. Seconds away from pushing me out the door.
I didn't All I cared about was finding my way back to the breath of my life.
I said my goodbyes to the smith and retired to the palace. At dawn, I sneaked back, having memorized where he keeps the compass, and stole it with ease, leaving its chest on the shelf.
"I keep fighting, Jude, like you showed me to. I will fix this, I promise that much."
My murmurs were too loud in the eerie quietness of the land. I didn't know it so silent before. Thoughts of when to go back to and questions of how to save Jude flood my mind, but were drowned by the peacefulness of day.
At last, I made my mind. Faced the south. Pressed the button. And leaped in nothingness.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
"...Allow me this - grant that I may show you my loyalty in my deeds, rather than binding myself with my words."
From his spot in front of the throne, Grimsen looked up at me, expectedly. I felt a squeeze on my shoulder and I nearly fell from the throne at the sight: Jude. In all her sharp nobility. Not yet the High Queen, but the actual ruler of Elfame.
Her eyes didn't move from the smith when she touched me. I remember I shrugged her hand off the first time this happened. But I couldn't bring myself to do so again. It was a cautionary sign for me, to be as wary of Grimsen as she was. Yet I couldn't shake off the comfort her touch brought. Warm. Strong.
I realized I was staring at my seneschal for too long. Even Jude turned to look at me, having felt the tension in the air rising. Putting on a sweet, dark grin, I removed her hand from my shoulder. Made a show of toying with the rings I had on, lounging in my throne as if I was silly drunk, pretending to ponder over Grimsen request.
Though back when this was all new I cringed at the presence of the smith, I pushed those shivers away, wishing to upset Jude at the time being. This time, with how uncanny he acted before - in the future I hoped wouldn't exist no more - I actually sit on it. There was nothing I could find to reason his behavior. But also nothing to help me understand it. The best would be to keep him close, where I can have an eye on him at all time.
"I accept your condition." I recall saying. "Indeed, I will give you a boon. An old building with a forge sits on the edge of the palace grounds. You shall have it for your own and as much metal as you require. I look forward seeing what you will make for us." The words fell from my mouth like a learned speech. I felt myself easing in the memories of the event, finding my previous actions clearer and clearer by the second. Like my past and my current self became one.
"Your kindness shall not be forgotten," Grimsen said with a deep bow.
As the peculiar smith retreated, I spotted a clocked figure waiting in line. And I remembered what happened next.
I found Mother Marrow not issuing as much mistrust as before. In fact, a soft smile worked on my face as she spoke. I didn't change my past actions, though. Partly to entertain mine and Jude's small banter again, partly because it was what would be expected of me. I shouldn't show familiarity to a presumed stranger.
"The three of us shall see each other again." When she said it this time, she winked at me. As if there was more meaning to her words that what I'd expect.
Jude, the overbearing leader that she was, caught it as well, sending me a questioning frown. I smiled ludicrously at her, a silent comment about Mother Marrow's marriage proposal Jude understood with disgust.
I found it addictive: the way we could communicate so easily, even without words. Perhaps this time around, if I play my cards right, I can make her agree to the wedding for more reason than political upper hand.
My thoughts traveled to Locke. And if either bestowing the desired title upon him had any lingering effects on the dreaded future. The queen of mirth episode playing shamefully on my mind. I had no idea how someone managed to capture Jude. My fierce mortal, out of all people! A spy inside the palace's walls was a reasonable guess. Could it be Locke?
The plan was simpler on the other side of time. Follow Jude around at all times and make sure she isn't captured. We would protect each other. But being back in the position I was in at the beginning of the whole mess, I found that, as mortals say, best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
I have decided to do things exactly as before, as to not draw unwanted attention on myself. I had the benefit of knowing the future in my pocket, surely I can navigate this travel smoothly and only make small, needed changes.
"What's wrong with you?" Jude asked as soon as we retired from the meeting with the people.
"Is that worry I sense, High King?"
Her eyes widened for a split second, searching the hall for compromising ears. "Have you lost your minds?" She hissed. And dragged me by the arm to the King's compartments. "Are you drunk?"
"Do you think that low of me, my sweetest sin?" I clutched my heart, pretending to be hurt. It was silly and I had so much more important things to focus on. But I couldn't - didn't want to - resist the urge to speak to her so freely.
The way Jude blushes and shots daggers with her eyes. I could tease her all day, always delighted by her responses. It could be a sharp comeback, a reprehension, a swift order or a kiss. A bold, energetic kiss pressed on my mouth. That could lead (and has led, I reminded myself) to more.
Jude rolled her eyes. "Snap out of it, Cardan!"
A command. But I did not feel the compulsion to obey, nor the restriction to go against it. "And what will you do if I don't?" I smirked.
She frowned. "I said shut up. Now's not the time for your antics."
"Perhaps you should try make me, trusty seneschal. You can't order your king, but I may allow you to convince me."
Mouth agape, Jude strolled until she was right in front of me, our bodies almost touching. I jumped on the couch, taking up as much space as I could, legs and arms spread over the fine cushion. And rose my brows expectantly at her.
"What's this? How are you doing this?"
"Don't worry, Jude. If you want to control me still, there are ways I'm open to. I can be malleable for you, if you'd be willing to learn how to play with me."
Her chest heaved with irregular breathing. Quicker. Almost like a pant. Her eyes traced my frame up and down, always returning to my face. My eyes, from which she shied away, my ears, my hair, my lips, where she stopped.
Thoughts of ravish and passion begin to drip in my mind. Filling it if not for the arrow slashing at my neck. Startled, I collected myself in a smaller target. Jude's sword was already drawn, looking for enemies.
I groaned mentally. I have completely forgotten about the attack.
"We need to get you out of here. Somewhere secure."
"Lead the way."
If she wouldn't have been so focused on the prospect of danger, Jude would have shot me a killing look. "I can't believe you won't even be serious in the middle of your own assassination attempt," she mumbled under her breath. "Guards!"
Another arrow flew rapidly in my direction. Jude cut it in half before it had the change to taste my blood. "Guards!" Once again, no one answered to the call.
"Come on," Jude gripped the sleeve of my shirt and yanked, pushing me in the direction of the secret passageway entry. She followed tightly behind, still not letting go of me, sword up in case another arrow needs to be cut. As we slip in the tunnels, Jude blocks the door with a chair.
"It won't hold them off for long."
We didn't stop as she talked. Her thumb brushed circles on the blunt little finger over my shirt. A focused look in her eyes. I could see the thoughts spiraling inside.
"You have to hide until I solve this. Stay at the Court of Shadows."
Well this didn't go well with my plan to keep a close eye on her.
"Tsk, tsk, what did I just say about pushing your king around like this, seneschal?"
Jude glared at me. Using the handle of her sword against my neck she pushed me into the nearest wall. "I don't know what happened, how you freed yourself from my command, but if you want to live, you will do as I say. I think it's in both of our benefits."
"Ask."
"What?"
"I will not do as you say, Jude. But nothing stops you trying to ask." I leaned in sweetly, eying her with intensity and a smug smile playing on my lips.
For a lying mortal, Jude wore her heart on her sleeves. Or, at least when she was with me she did. Distress, confusion, anger, stubbornness. She wanted to know why I was free of her compulsion, what that meant for her plans - perhaps even if it would have been better to end me since Balekin was in prison and Oak would be the only option of a king Elfame had. But she didn't have enough time to think.
Jude fought with her pride and the the feeling of a cold, sloppy snake crawling on her she looked like she had every time she felt she lost in front of me.
"Please, your highness," Jude relented through gritted teeth.
"What was that?"
The grip on the handle tighten. So did the strength she pushed it into my neck.
"Please, your highness, let me save you from the attempt at your life."
"Ah, my dear seneschal, I'm touched. I didn't know I mean so much to you."
Even in the darkness of the secret tunnel, I could see her cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
"Walk."
I snickered, but didn't provoke her further. I took the lead, as she rather stayed behind in case we were followed. At last we reached the Court of Shadows. The room didn't change much since the day I woke up all tied to a chair and a beautiful knight hovering over me.
"Lock yourself in after I'm gone. Don't come out until I come for you. And do not open this door for anyone, no matter what." At the rose of my eyebrow, Jude sighed. "Of your majesty so pleases for his own safety."
I broke into a green and let my body fall on a chair, picking my legs up to rest on the table. "And if it doesn't pleases me?"
"Cardan! This isn't a game. Someone tries to kill you!"
"And should I believe you care, my addictive poison? You can cook up a way to put Oak on the throne without me."
Something in her eyes shifted. She turned to face the door before I could catch a real glimpse of it. It is possible I imagined it, but highly unlikely judging by her stiff, tensed body. "Don't be ridiculous. If you shall die before your time has come, it will be by my hand, and my hand only."
And with that, Jude stormed out of the room.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
It was wistful thinking, but the way she reacted made me hope Jude might open her heart for me. For my heart already belonged to her. I stood on bricks and nails the first long hours, until I remined myself she wouldn't be captured until after the queen of mirth incident.
As I had time, I went through all I knew will happen, trying to piece the puzzle together. Revels I was too drunk to fully remember, Vivi's girlfriend somehow being enchanted, the threats from the Undersea to marry Nicassia, a plan to use Oak as bait to which the details have been lost on me.
The wedding! Locke and Taryn's wedding. Jude made me seduce the information out of Nicassia. That's when the Undersea will attack. And... Balekin. I remember a short conversation with my brother. He wanted me to free him. He works with Orlagh. But he couldn't have planned Jude's capture while still in prison. He must be as much of a tool to Orlagh as anyone else.
Think, Cardan, think. Jude is taken after the wedding. Locke is still a viable option as a traitor. All he does is for himself and his own amusement. And he does treasure humiliating Jude, even when it jeopardize her life.
But Locke isn't involved enough in politics to be drawn in Orlagh's schems. He gets bored easily and cannot stand following a plan that doesn't immediately satisfy him. His involvement, if any at all, must have been minimal.
Who else, then, could fool Jude, sneak behind her back and take her down in a fight?
"I have to admit, I'm surprised you're still here and haven't went off searching for wine yet." Jude said from where she was staying in the doorframe, arms crossed and a brow arched. She looked more composed now. As if she finally figured the answer of an afflicting question. If only I could have the same luck.
"You're ever lasting trust in me is heartwarming, as usual, dear nemesis."
Jude resumed to a swift eyeroll instead of gracing me with a verbal answer.
"The assassin – or assassins – escaped. But the Bomb and I searched your room for traps. None. You will be safe there. And more comfortable, I presume."
"Have I managed to melt your walls, Jude Duarte? Thinking of my comfort..."
"Shut up!"
"Sorry. Don't take orders from you anymore." I might be stretching this out, but I enjoyed myself too much. As much as I... couldn't stop thinking about Jude and I wished nothing more than to be fully in her control, the compulsion she had over me wasn't what I had in mind. It bothered me, though I didn't want to admit why. Her lack of trust in me shouldn't pain me so.
"Speaking of: how did you do that?"
"You'll have to work a bit harder for answers as from now on, Jude. I hope you didn't think otherwise. It would be far beneath your level."
"Fine. Don't tell me. I don't need to know, anyway. But you're still a target. I've spoken with Nicassia and the Undersea was behind this. We should expect more."
"So you aren't planning to dethrone me, then? Now that I'm not your puppet anymore?"
Another one of those passing looks clouded her eyes. Almost as if she was hurt by the implication of my words. My heart trembled at the thought of Jude actually caring for me enough to be disturbed by my downfall.
It was gone as soon as I've seen it. "Don't be ridiculous. You are competent enough to navigate the court and its tedious, pesky cabal. When you are sober enough, that is. I cannot have my brother on a dangerous throne."
"Therefore I shall be king until you eliminate all threats?"
"Yes."
"And if I disapprove of this?"
"It's your right, High King Cardan. But you need my protection. My spies."
You, I thought, but didn't voice it. Instead, I bowed my head. "Sounds like you are right, seneschal. Very well, then. I will keep you around. But you will have no more secrets from me. I know you can lie. I'd like to believe that in these past months we earned a bit of each other's trust. Enough so, that you will not keep from me. We are in this scheme, to put the crown on Oak's head, together. Only the two of us."
I could see trains of thoughts speeding behind her eyes. Jude turned my words on all sides, possibly even ones I hadn't consider myself. Finally, she nodded. "Sounds fair. I have spoken to Nicassia. She's the best intel we have, but she won't talk to me much."
She filled me in on her conversation with my traitorous friend while we ascended in my chambers. "The only reason she told me so much is because she is scared for you. She still loves you," Jude finished, not meeting my eyes. Could I have sensed frustration in her voice?
I believe so. Which is why I didn't tease her about it. I kept the knowledge to myself. Maybe if she thinks me less observant when it comes to her, there will be more mishaps in my company. I didn't dare think of a reason for her feelings. I just enjoyed them.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
The days passed normally. Until the night of the Hunter's Moon came.
Breathing in Jude's neck made her suspicious, so I had to give her more space. Time which I spent with the Court of Shadows. I have realized, upon an unplaced joke about the Roach and the Bomb, that I hadn't befriended them in this time.
But as soon as Locke announced the great revel of tonight, I begin sweating. I was determined to not allow Jude to be the queen of mirth. At least not for Master of Revel's and the rest of the folk pleasure. If anyone was to be humiliated tonight, it won't be my warrior queen.
I was more worried about the ambush of the merfolk. I still had not figured out who kidnapped Jude. Nor how. And I was running out of time.
"You don't look particularly happy for this celebration." Jude commented.
"I would say you are in no position to talk. At how many revels have you partaken?"
"It's a waste of time. But you are usually drunk and all over some beautiful faeries by now."
"No, no, my dear Jude. You've gotten it wrong. They are the ones all over me. What can I say, I'm irresistible."
"I don't know which is worse. That you actually believe this or that no one corrected you."
"Don't be like this. I have seen you watching me. When you're positioned at my door, with the guards, and you can only catch a glimpse inside while I change..." I leaned closer to her, locking our eyes in a tight, daring dance she couldn't refuse.
Jude scoffed. But didn't say anything as we made our way into the garden where Locke build a huge throne for me around which revelers already gathered. At my side, Jude rolled her eyes.
"I'd suggest the wine, but you don't have it in you to anything but wide awake at any given time."
She sent me a weird look, as if she wondered if I can't stand the court just as much as herself, using the wine as a carefully crafted persona to escape. Then she shifted her focus on our surroundings. Always the careful.
I allowed Jude to drink from the wine, having swapt it with mortal one courtesy to Vivi. She drank a whole bottle and, though she swayed on her feet, she wasn't drunk enough to joyfully embarass herself in front of the whole court.
"Dance with me," I said. The clear look in her eyes told me she was merely tipsy.
"What... why?"
"As hard as it seems for you to believe I do not wish to see you humiliated. You are my seneschal after all. But we shall give the viewers some sort of spectacle."
It was obvious I had taken her by surprise. For the first time since I knew her, Jude was rendered speechless. I could blame the wine, but I liked taking on the credit myself.
She nodded shortly and it was enough for me to pull her closer and move us inside the circle the folk made around us. Perhaps it lacked the shame they all craved from their mortal leader, but it gave enough space to speculate so their minds were kept busy.
I hadn't notice when the merefolk arrived. It appears Jude and I danced for more than either would have thought. Jude pushed away from me, running to the first line of defence.
When the threat was gone and we rushed to the meetings' room, I couldn't spot her anywhere. My blood froze in my veins, my breath trapped in my throat for minutes until I spotted her slip inside.
"Madoc is against us. I don't think he supports Orlagh, though. He seem to want war. Blood shed." She whispered in my ear, only for me to hear.
For a second intoxicating bliss washed over me. Jude shared with me, unprompted, information about her own father. But then the words fully registered in my brain. "Of course," I seethed. "He hadn't dip that hood of his in blood for a long while. He must suffer greatly."
Jude frowned at my dark tone, but said nothing as the conversation turned to us.
"Is there anything you're not telling us, mortal?"
"Careful," I spoke before Jude could. "She is my seneschal, my prime advisor, and you all better show more respect."
Jude hide her surprise more skillfully than she did her blush. But she spoke up nonetheless. "I am not withdrawing any information from you, my lords and ladies. I was simply waiting for a confirmation my suspicions are true. Tonight's events was proof enough. Balekin is corresponding with the merefolk."
I pretended to be surprised and even joining in the claims of such news' improbability. I hadn't listen to Jude's explanation. I knew it to be true already. As true as Locke's involvement. I wondered if that was the extention of it or if I should start spying on my friend.
Last time, I have spoken to Nicassia, sending a message that would make the queen of the Undersea see red from the depth of her blueish kingdom. This time I decided to not anger her more than needed.
I followed into my steps as I remembered them, requesting more from my Master of Revels to keep him busy for any eventuality.
Just as I expected, a note from Balekin came during one of the parties. I called for Jude and led her to the secret room behind the throne.
"What is this?"
"I called for no secrets between us and I'm keeping up to my wish," I said, handing her the missive.
"We need more information."
"Another talk with Nicassia?"
"It can't be me. And we can't exactly extract it from her. She's no enemy. Yet."
"You thought of something. I can see it. Well, go on, don't keep to yourself."
"Maybe you should talk to her," Jude mumbled in a small voice. "Use your, uhm, charm. And the feelings she still has for you."
I knew it will come. She asked it of me before, except she doesn't know it. And as much as it pained me to hear her so carelessly talk off my affection as a currency for intel, this time I heard a pang of discomfort that brightened my mood.
"You think I'm charming?" Last time I rehearsed my seducing abilities on her. I may have come to change the past, but I had to be careful with the consequences of those changes. What would be different if I just leave now, no special moment between Jude and I?
Probably nothing, since it is private. But I am not willing to take risks.
"Nicassia thinks you're charming." Jude countered, but the color in her cheeks disputed it.
"Mhm," I hummed, closing the gapt between us. One of my hands brushed some hair behind her hear, resting on her neck afterwards. The other traced the outline of her lips.
"And I'm sure you cannot even begin to understand why."
Jude swallowed. A thick, loud in the silence of the room, bob of her throat. "No."
"Tsk, tsk, you promised not to lie to me, Jude. Or did you think I only meant business? Let me clarify it."
I brushed my lips over her chin. "I," another ghostly touch to her cheek. "Do not," I whispered hovering my lips near her ear. "Want you," I brought my face at hers level again, talking against her own lips. "To lie to me." I ended with a kiss. "Ever."
Jude surprised me with the vigour with which she kissed back. As if she waited a long time for this. Her hands circled my neck when she pulled for air, not giving me time to even smirk as she attached her lips to mine again.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
When I woke up, Jude was gone. We hand't move forward than making out with our tops off. I was reminded of her words from the original time line. How she only did it to 'get it out of the system'. And she asumed the same waa true for me.
My teeth bit the inside of my lips as I pulled the flannel shirt from yesterday back on and went to find Nicassia. It felt so wrong, moving from Jude's arms to the woman whose mother would have my kingdom leveled under crushing waves and who, herself, cheated on me with whom I thought to be my best friend.
But we a war was knocking on my door. One I wasn't going to lose Jude to again.
I considered wasting time around with the Court of Shadows. I already knew everything Nicassia was going to tell me. But now I had a set of new questions to ask. Perhaps she knew her mother's plan for Jude, a piece of the puzzle I dumbly hadn't consider until it was too late the first time.
"Cassi," I raised my voice for her to hear me over the loud chattering of hangover faes. "Do you have some time to spare?"
"Of course, yes!"
"Some place more private, perhaps?"
Her eyes widened, hope glimmering in her blue orbs. "Take me wherever you want, my king. I'm all yours."
It was hard to feel bad for her, knowing the thoughts she harbors for Jude and the torture she agrees to submit her. But the pang I felt wasn't as much for decieving her, as it was for years of letting her fool me.
"I missed this," I said sincerly. Because even if it was never real and she entertained Locke's fantasies, I did miss the comforting lie they both served me for so long.
"I missed this too." I wondered what she was thinking of to be able to speak these words. Jude may believe she still loved me, but the truth was, she never did.
Forcing a smile to spread my lips, I closed the gap between us, leading her by the waist to an empty room.
When we sat on the couch, Nicassia was slightly climbed in my lap. My fingers caressing all over her covered skin. Her own played with the hair at the back of my neck as she laid her head on my shoulder.
I couldn't stop the image that replaced Nicassia with Jude in my mind. Brown curles instead of blue, warm eyes, not cold. Tensed muscles beginning to relax opposed to the soft skin of the merefolk princess.
Nicassia's free hand came to rest on my chest. "What prompted this change of attitude?"
"I was in dire need of an old friend."
"Mmmm, is that so? What kind of need?"
"Anything you wish to offer. Company, comfort, talk, or more."
"Being High King weights heavy on you."
It wasn't a question, but I answered it anyway, seeing the opportunity I've been waiting. "Yes. I imagine you have an understanding of that too. As the sole heir, you must have been given more responsability Undersea all these years."
Nicassia looked up at me with pitty in her eyes. I was starting to think she never saw me as an equal. But a lost pet she and Locke could take care of. A broken, unworthy fae. Unlike most people in my life, she was attracted by it, in some twisted sense of care.
"I have always enjoyed my mother's trust, yes. She tells me everything concerning our kingdom and its ruling."
"She seeks your aid."
"My advice only. Mother values my input, yes, but she's just teaching me for now. Preparing for the time I will be queen."
"You knew about her marriage wishes, then." It was my turn to phrase a question as an answer I already knew.
Nicassia nodded, letting her eyes fell on her lap.
"And you agree?"
Her eyes snaped back at mine. "What do you want me to say, Cardan? I love you, I have never stopped loving you. But you pushed me away, favoring that mortal..."
"Nicassia," I warned. I wouldn't hear Jude's name being misspoken for. The only person who sees me as something else than the missplaced prince in the noble family. "You speak of me favoring Jude, when I found you and Locke behind my back."
"It's not the same. I don't love Locke."
"Then why?" Was all I could say. My head spinned. Was it that obvious Jude has stolen my heart? And if it was, why did Nicassia accept my advances. Could this be a new plan? And why did she had to be with Locke if she never felt for him? For the sake of betraying me? They both loved to have power and to parade it around hurting those lesser than. Nothing different that what I engaged into, except I never had the power. I wanted to trick myself into believing I did.
"It's... complicated."
I shifted. And she suddenly found herself on the couch. I stood up and poured some of the wine I found on the table down my throat. Half meaning it, half playing on that pity Nicassia harbored for me, perhaps even mistaking it for love.
"Cardan, Locke meant, means nothing to me. It was a stupid request my mother had of me. She wanted Locke to help her."
"Both of my friends, ploting behind my back."
"It's not like that. He didn't knew anything. I told him what to do, promising he'll have some fun and weave a good story. Mother promised she won't hurt anyone. It was just a show of power."
"Is baiting my brother to aupport her with gifts and promises of a throne just a show of power too?"
"Balekin is just a pawn. You are the king she wants. The king we both want. But you wouldn't play your part. You listen to that mortal girls as if she controls you."
At that, Nicassia's pleading eyes found mine, a mute question behind them. I ignored it. "Is this why Orlagh wants to eliminate Jude?"
"Eliminate is such a strong word, Cardan," the merefolk princess rolled her eyes. "We won't kill her. Mother only wishes to talk to her, convince her to cooperate. It's not such a dark plan: you and I married, rulling over our joint kingdoms. Peace and prosperity, think about it."
"How does Orlagh plans to talk to Jude?"
Nicassia groaned and let herself ease more into the soft cushion. "We have a spy she trusted. He'll bring her to us."
A spy Jude trusts. A he. A truly narrowed list, as the decieving mistress of my heart barely trust anyone. Madoc has been recently crossed off the list. Replaced by me, I like to think. The only ones left are the Roach and the Ghost.
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
As Taryn and Locke's wedding was but a few hours due, I grew more ane more resteless. I haven't talk to Jude since I told her Orlagh's plan to act on the wedding's day. I told her to be careful of the spy too, but she still insisted on leaving the palace to spend time with her twin.
"Your worry is appreciated, Cardan, in all its disturbing unexpectance. But I can handle myself."
Of course I couldn't tell her about the attack on her. And she did make it out alive the first time. But nothing could sooth my fears. Nothing but seeing her at all times. Judging with my own to eyes if she is fine.
"Take me with." I pleaded. And I've lost the count of how many times I did so far.
"Stop that! Madoc doesn't know my loyalties lie to you –" my heart fluttered and skipped a bit –" and I want a night spent only with my sister."
"I won't be in your way. I can even wait outside. Playing watch guard from a tree."
Jude pinched the bridge of her nose. This time I hadn't tried to talk to her about what happened in the secret room behind the throne. Which is why she acted normally around me, openly, even.
"Even if I would agree to this, you cannot be seen on Madoc's estate. He isn't yet sworn you enemy, but that is where his heart is. It's too dangerous. Besides, with merefolks haunting about, the vest place you could be at is the palace, with the Bomb as your babysitter."
I made a face at the title. And then relented. "Fine. Just promise me you'll be careful."
"I will," Jude groaned annoyed. Though a little smile pulled at her lips. She was gone withing seconds.
I've waited until I estimated there is enough distance between us so Jude wouldn't spot me and the Bomb will she look back, then turned to my keeper.
"I have to follow her. You can stay here, or come with, but do not stop me."
The Bomb bursted into a jingle of laughes. "You have so lost yourself to her. Calm down, loverboy, Jude can handle herself."
"Listen, she is in danger. And that moment is closing in. And I know she can hold her ground, but I cannot lose her again. I need to make sure she's fine."
"Again? What are you talking about."
I ended up telling the Bomb everything. "And are you sure one of them is a traitor."
I nodded solemnly. I wanted to comfort her, but didn't know how.
"Go." The Bomb said all of a sudden, breaking the silence that has fallen over us. "I will try to find if it's the Ghost or the Roach," her voice broke a bit over the name of the man she loves.
I took the fastest horse in our stables and sped on Jude's trail.
When I caught up to her, she was surrounded by masked faes. Limping. I couldn't determine where they injured her, or how bad it was. But Jude stood her ground fearlessly.
An arrow flied from up somewhere. There must be more of them, hidden in the trees. Or just one, the thought fell in place like the the lackadaisical feeling of being painfully conscious of my own conscious after a night of revels and drinks.
I barely processed it when I already climbed the nearest tree. Precise archer, a sly, silent spy, perhaps the most so out of all of us, a friend. The quietest one.
The Ghost taught Jude the most about the art of spying. How to smoothly move in space as if she was the particles in between. He taught me too. How listening and connecting the dots can have more values than intercepting correspondence, if one place themself in the right spot, at the right time.
I didn't care to think about why the Ghost would work for Orlagh. Or even question my deduction. It has to be him. Once I got high enough between the tree's thick crown, I jumped swiftly to the nearest tree. The more trees I left behind, the more aware was I of the fact I had no weapon on me. And the Ghost knew how to fight, bare handed or not.
My best shot was to take him by surprise. He doesn't know I'm here, he doesn't know his cover has been torn to pieces. And he is focused on Jude. If I can sneak behind his back, I can...
"You were the least I expected to see here, today," the Ghost rasped in my ear. An arrow tip pressed cold against the back of my neck.
"All the more a pleasure for you. Surprise!"
"You shouldn't have come."
"Believe it or not, I keep hearing this since my birth. It never stopped me."
With him distracted in a conversation, Jude's odds bettered. She could deal with the faes on the ground much easier if the threat of arrows from above was stopped. My life depended on how much information Orlagh shared with her spies and on the Ghost's social awareness. If he thought he can kill me because he didn't know of the Undersea's plans to marry me to their princess or not.
"I'm sorry, Cardan. I have no choice."
I frowned. The folk can't lie. But if he believes it true, then it's a loophole. Why would the Ghost think this is his only option? Why would he betray Jude if he's feeling guilty about it?
Darkness overtook my mind before I could even begin to analyze it. Next thing I know when I'm awaken is a terrible ache in my temples and a familiar scent in my nostrils. I shifted, trying to get up and a displeased groan filled the air. Not my own, though.
"You chose the worst time to wake up," Jude mumbled, pushing a hand on my chest to keep me down and fitting her head again on my shoulder.
Heat rose to my cheeks and I was grateful she kept her eyes closed. "What happened?"
"The Ghost is the traitor Nicassia told you about. Tried to kill me with some friends. They're dead now. I don't think the Ghsot was actually here yesterday. There was an archer, but the arrows stopped coming in pretty soon."
"He was. He must have knocked me out after I found him."
My voice seemed to wake Jude up for good because she almost jumped to her feet, an accusatory look in her eyes. "What were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed. Or worse!"
"Worse? I'm flattered you hold me so dear in your caring."
"I'm serious, Cardan. You could have been captured, tortured, trapped in a deal like we had. Can you see how bad this would have been for the Land?"
"They weren't here for me, they were here to get you."
"Plans can change."
"Not even Orlagh is daring enough to kidnap the High King of Elfhame. You were the only one in danger."
"And you decided to come to my rescue alone?"
"The Bomb was trying to figure out who the traitor is. I had no one else I could trust to help me. And I did a pretty good job, didn't I? Once you had no arrows to worry about, you took them down without breaking a sweat."
"That's not so true," Jude rolled her eyes. She unfurled her pants. The leaked blood missed my notice because of the clothing's dark material. But Jude's pristine skin was smudged with blood. Different shades forming a pool around an ugly wound in her leg.
So many questions I wanted to ask at once. She seemed to read the all in my face.
"My horse died. Yours fled. I couldn't walk and even if I did, I couldn't carry you too. Leaving you was not even an option," she said before I had the chance to suggest it. "So I tied it up the best I could and tried to keep watch. I must have lost too much blood and fell asleep."
"You need stiches," was all I could foolishly say.
I couldn't convince Jude to let me carry her, but she did agree to lean on me for support all the way to Madoc's estate. Only if I make myself scarce without sight range. "I can walk by my own a few feet, but Madoc cannot see you."
°•▪︎~▪︎•°
Making my way back to the palace, I had time to ponder over the obvious changes that occurred and what they meant. Jude was originally taken from the Tower during the wedding. The Ghost must have lured her there, alone in an ambush since all the guards were posted at the wedding.
It has been a diversion. Making us think they'll do something during the ceremonial party and instead freeing Balekin and taking Jude from the Tower. Would they change their plans now we discovered their spy? Very unlikely. Most certainly they will switch tactics and corner Jude elsewhere, or in a different way. Which means I had to be with her all night.
The Undersea won't risk a second ascend. Not until they think they can fight the Land and win. Orlagh was running out of subtilties and court's plays seeing how much we knew already. And she knew we know.
The queen of Undersea will give up Jude for a bigger prize: the crown of Elfhame. To take it, she must resort to sheer force, as she intended anyway. Until I made the deal with her in exchange for Jude.
My head hurt. Possibly from the hit earlier, but the confusing politic games weren't helping either. I had to protect Jude from Orlagh and the kingdom from war and it seemed impossible to manage both.
Think, Cardan. Jude would kill you if you trade Elfhame for her.
Perhaps if I... Yes, could work. But it was a heavy risk. I might have to fill Jude and the Roach in my little time journey. And...
"My king! A word?" Jude shouted, running with a wincing limp down the hall towards me. I hurried to meet her.
"Alone." She added once we were face to face.
I nodded and we made our way to the secret room behind the throne again. We could hear the last minute preparations for Locke and Taryn's wedding even from here.
"What is it, wise seneschal?"
"Remember what I told you this morning? About," she didn't allow me space to comment on her question, "our enemies attempting to control you?"
"It wouldn't leave my mind," Jude continued, after I hummed my positive answer. "You cannot permit to be tricked, Cardan. We... the Land, Elfhame, cannot afford it."
"I think you made a convincing point in the woods earlier. I am aware of the gratitude of our situation, you don't need to spell it out for me, Jude."
"I know. I surely do hope so, at least. But it won't leave me rest. They have Balekin on their side, does he know your true name? Or," she carried on without a pause for air, "if I gained control over you, it's not so preposterous to fear the possibility of the merefolk succeeding too."
A dark shadow passed over my face. Balekin shouldn't know my name. The only onnes who do – or did – were my parents. One of which was imprisoned with Balekin in this time. Would my mother betray me so? Sweat ran down my spine, cold as the disdain in Lady Asha's scorn lips in every memory I have of her from childhood.
As for Orlagh or one of her people geting a hold over my being, as disturbing and unsettling of a thought it was, I had to entertain it. Take it in consideration.
"Were you getting anywhere with this share of fears, or are you acting on our no secrets deal?"
"There can be only one person controling you. If it gets down to it, you'll have to pretend, but you'll be shielded if someone you trust..."
"You, you mean," I interruped her. "You want me to surrender myself to you again. Willingly, this time."
"I – yes. I do. It's for all of us' sake."
"Don't need to convince me. I will do it. With one – well, two, actually – conditions."
As Jude readied herself for my bargain, I closed in the space between us. "First, I may find myself at your qualms, but you have to keep your promise. Be truthful with me, seek my input, involve me in your plans."
"Fair enough. Very well. It wasn't that bad to scheem with you. And the second?"
"We haven't spoken of our night together..." I trailed off, smirking at the color in her cheeks.
"I don't see where are you going with this. It was just..."
"Don't say we just had to get it out of our systems. You know it's a lie, Jude. It meant more than that for me. And I think it did for you to, am I wrong?"
She caught my eyes and locked our gazes. Conflicted, her thumb brushed rapidely over her blunt finger. In this moment she wore her heart on sleeve. Try hard enough and I could ses it beating hacticly.
"And if it did...?"
"Then let me worship you as you deserve, my queen."
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