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pesterloglog · 2 months

Text

Dave Strider, Kanaya Maryam

Page 108-111

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this

DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad

DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there

DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

KANAYA: Hello Dave

DAVE: sup

DAVE: am i buggin you

DAVE: do you want me to leave you to it or

KANAYA: Not Particularly Now That Youre Here

KANAYA: But Shouldnt You Be Asleep

DAVE: shouldnt you

KANAYA: I Need Less Sleep Than I Used To

KANAYA: Less Food Too Which Is Fortunate For The Rest Of You

DAVE: oh right

DAVE: i always forget about the vampire thing because youre already an alien

DAVE: and if somebody tried to sit me down and get me to watch a movie about a vampire alien id be like

DAVE: come on pick a genre

DAVE: except id watch it anyway because lets be honest the only person whod ever try to get me to watch something like that would be karkat

DAVE: and if he can get me to watch serendipity he can get me to watch anything

DAVE: but you get what im saying

KANAYA: Yes

DAVE: rose even told me

DAVE: shit

DAVE: sorry

KANAYA: Its Alright To Say Her Name

DAVE: i just dont want to remind you of that shit if i can avoid it

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else

KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her

KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

KANAYA: Well I See Space And The Corner Of My Shoe Right Now

KANAYA: But Her Too

KANAYA: Shes There In The Glint Of Fluorescence Shining Off The Shoe

KANAYA: And Shes Out There Somewhere In The Sea Of Stars

KANAYA: Which Just Reminds Me Of One Of The Nursery Stories Shed Reserved To Read To Young Broods Of Grubs Back Then

DAVE: oh huh

DAVE: i still kind of have a hard time picturing rose reading to kids

DAVE: maybe a dick thing to say but she doesnt seem like the type

KANAYA: I Understand

KANAYA: Its One Thing To Come Into The Responsibilities Of Adulthood Yourself

KANAYA: And Another To Dwell On Those You Were Once Close To Struggling With Similar Pressures

KANAYA: Growing Up So To Speak

KANAYA: Its Strange

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so what was the story

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost

DAVE: flower

DAVE: like a plant

KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave

DAVE: right

KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her

KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along

KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

KANAYA: The Story Comments On The Nature Of Friendship

KANAYA: And Of Course In Turn Love

KANAYA: How Once They Connect There Is No Distance Or Circumstance That Can Seperate Them

KANAYA: How The Worlds In Each Ones Mind Take On Contours Shaped By Their Memories Of The Other

KANAYA: Places And Moments And Orbiting Passersby Becoming More and More Entangled In The Context Of Their Mutual Affections

KANAYA: Such As With A Garden Calling To Mind An Engagement Once Declared There

KANAYA: Or Something To That Fucking Effect

DAVE: that seems kind of wack for a kids story

KANAYA: Its Possible I Am Projecting Slightly In This Specific Circumstances

KANAYA: It Was Just A Metaphor

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister

KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All

KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

KANAYA: Or Within My Personal Frame Of Reference At Least

KANAYA: And Made Them Her Own In Some Strange Way

KANAYA: So I Cant Help But See Her When I See It At All

KANAYA: Whether Its A Star Or a Lightbulb

KANAYA: They All Just Leave Her Burnt Into My Mind Like The Blazing Imprint Of An Afterimage

DAVE: i mean it sounds like you think its BECAUSE shes a god like shes wielding some kind of cosmic power over you

DAVE: but if it was really true love or w/e

DAVE: would you even know the difference

KANAYA: Hmm

KANAYA: I Guess I Wouldnt

DAVE: would you want to for that matter like isnt feeling that strongly connected kind of how youd want it to be anyway

DAVE: i think its how id want it at least

DAVE: can i sit down

KANAYA: Of Course

KANAYA: Its Not My Observation Deck

DAVE: cool

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell

DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

DAVE: kinda worried about you sis

KANAYA: You Dont Have To Call Me That Anymore

KANAYA: In Fact I Wish You Wouldnt

KANAYA: It Really Hasnt Ever Been Accurate

DAVE: yeah well im pretty sure rose didnt serve you divorce papers before she left on her fucked up father/daughter rp

DAVE: so youre still my sister

DAVE: i mean you could always decide to divorce her yourself but i doubt youre going to find a lawyer in space

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

DAVE: but yeah this whole situation blows

KANAYA: You And Karkat Didnt Have To Come With Me

KANAYA: I Know You Have Your Own Lives And Your Own Matespritship

DAVE: no offense dude but yeah we did

DAVE: i wasnt going to let the only family i have left fly off without me

KANAYA: Roxy Didnt Have To Come Either

DAVE: debatable

DAVE: also i dont just mean roxy did you not just hear my heartwarming insistence that i think of you as my sister

DAVE: and yeah roxy is rad but our relationship is pretty fucking convoluted if were being totally honest

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

#homestuck #homestuck^2 #dave strider #kanaya maryam #homestuck^2 act 1 #page 108 #page 109 #page 110 #page 111

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 3 years

Text

Rappa 21

DIZZY: holy shit T-H-to-tha-izzats disgust'n

KARKAT in tha hood: DON’T BE A FUCK'N XENOPHIZZLE

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: im not bein a xenophobe

Kizzle doesn’t respond immediately. He shizzles hizzle feet ta tha edge of tha outcropp'n they’re stand'n on and starizzles down at the brood pizzay, where tha Motha Gizzy of Earth C be squelch'n out unfertilize' jelly.

DAVE: dude yizzy knizzle im niznot a xenophobe

No answa fo' sho'. Dis silence makes Diznave actizzle back up for T-H-R-to-tha-izzee seconds n think 'bout what tha hell just came out of his miznouth. He’s worry that miznaybe he sizzaid sum-m sum-m wrong hizzere, that he wizzas bein horriblizzle insensitive insizzle a place that’s probablizzle hizzle ground fizzy tha fizzay Alternia-born trolls lizneft alive. Miznaybe flippant xenophobia isn’t tha bizzest liznook in front of yo' alien pseudo-boyfriend when it comes to 'bout tha irreconcilizzle biological differences between yo' species.

Diznave cizzould definitely be handl'n dis sitizzle wit a certain measure of restraint or grace. Bizzay hizzle gots mah genizzles, so he decides ta hiznandle it a different way than that. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

DIZZLE: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. i miznean thats what dis whiznole election th'n be 'bout

DAVE: hav'n yo' bizzy when it comes ta dis reproduction issue

DAVE: well

DAVE: that n tha economy

DAVE: lets not loze TOTAL S-to-tha-izzight of the economy 'n dis critical discussion

DAVE: but im almost as passionate 'bout dis trizzay speciesism sippin' as i be 'bout tha economy W-H-to-tha-izzich you may not have known is mah pusha one issue

DAVE: mah wheelhouze you cizzle say

DIZZAY: bizzle mah otha wheelhouze be like

DAVE: pimpin' a fizzle 'bout yo' feel'n and culture n shit?

Karkat still dizzy answa. H-to-tha-izze’s star'n real intizzle at tha jelly and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow.

DIZZAY fo' real: dizzude hizzey

DAVE: karkat

DAVE, betta check yo self: yo karkat you listen'n?

KARKAT: HIZZAY DIPSHIT, S-H-TO-THA-IZZUT UP FO` A MINUTE.

KARKAT: I’M NOT BALLIN' YOU COZ I’M BUGGIN'.

DAVE: what

DAVE: thiznat wizzle what i

KARKAT: I KNOW THAT YOU PIZZLE LIZZLE A DELICATE LIZZLE BLOOM 'N THA FUCK'N DESERT IF NIZZAY SHOWERED WIT MAH VIZZLE ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES.

KARKAT: Im crazy, you can't phase me. BUT I’M KIZZLE OF WITNESS'N THA REBIRTH OF MY ENTIRE FUCK'N SPIZZLE RIGHT HERE.

KARKAT: YIZZLE EVA THINK THAT DIS MIGHT BE A MONUMENTAL MIZZLE FO` ME fo gettin yo on?

KIZZLE: TIZZY I MIGHT BE AWIZZLE AT THA PURE MAJESTY OF DIS SIZZLE?

Dizzave comes ta the edge of tha outcropp'n, stand'n shoulder ta shoulda wit Karkat as he too obsizzles tha majesty of translucizzle gizzay getting bizzle out of an alien asshole.

Kizzles gots a strange expression on his fizzay, cast hizzy 'n shadow n half 'n orizzle lizzy droppin hits. Dizzle winces as tha grub’s nizzle sliznime chute out a bunch of air bubblizzles fo' real. It’s a gross, gurgl'n fart thizzay goes on basically foreva, chill yo.

DIZNAVE: yizneah bizzay it be totally disgusting R-to-tha-izzight

KARKIZZLE ya feelin' me? I CAN’T PIMPIN' BELIEVE YOU

KARKAT: WHAT PART OF DIS BE DISGUST'N n we out!

KARKIZZLE upside yo head: BE IT THA SLIZZOW DEFLAT'N OF ITS DISTENDED ABDOMEN in tha hood?

KARKAT upside yo head: THA SIZZOUND OF DOZENS OF SEGMENTED LEGS HATIN' AGAINST ITS EXOSKELETON?

KARKAT fo my bling bling: THA UNFERTILIZE' SLURRY BEIN SLOWLY SQUEEZE' FROM ITS OVIPOSITIONAL SPHINCTA?

KARKAT like a fucka: BE THIZZAY IT? BE THIZZLE BLUNT-ROLLIN' TA YOU DAVE aww nah?

DIZZLE: kizzy of

KARKAT: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. ... Boo-Yaa!

KARKAT: YOU’RE RIGHT

KARKAT upside yo head: IT’S HORRIBLE

KARKIZZLE: TA BE COMPLETELY HIZZLE I WIZZOULD H-TO-THA-IZZAVE GLADLY GONE THA REST OF MAH WRETCHED EXISTENCE WITOUT EVA SEEING DIS.

DAVE: its like when you squish tha tizzle diznown 'n tha middle

DAVE: only tha tizzube be fizzle wit fetus juice

KANAYA: Im Sorry Bizzle I Cizzy Hear Yizzy From Diznown Here

KANAYA: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Did Yiznou Wizzy Ta Talk Ta Me Or Be You Intent On Perform'n An Impromptu N Very Unfunny Comedy Act On Mah Front Stizzle

DIZZLE: oh hey kanaya

Dave grizzay Karkat by tha wrist of his oversize' sweata n they skid down tha narrow wizzle into tha mouth of tha calla. Kanaya steps out from beneath tha canopy wizzy she was do'n grub science, wiping ha hizzy on a silk cloth yeah yeah baby. She’s glow'n. Wussup in the house. Ha skin, I M-to-tha-izzean. Mood can be politelizzle descrizzle as pensive. Still, she smiles at tha sight of old frizzles.

DIZZY: whats cruisin' sis

KANAYA: Must You Always Cizzy Me Thizzay

DIZZLE: nah but it does feel pretty rizzay ta sizzle

DAVE: like wow mah rappa 'n law be an alizzle how coo' be that

DAVE: i love our off tha hook planizzle where everyizzle be free ta fizzle xenophizzle famizzle units witout fear of governmizzle interferizzle or reprisizzle

DIZNAVE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. which is a totally smooth segue into the topic at hand

KARKAT: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. THAT WASN’T SMOOTH AT ALL.

KARKAT: 'N FACT I DON’T THIZNINK IT WOULD BE POSSIZZLE FO` YOU TA RAIZE THA SUBJECT WE’VE COME TA RAP 'BOUT 'N A MORE OSTENTATIOUSLY AWFUL N AWKWARD WAY.

KARKAT: JIZZY COZ YOU DID THAT STUPID SHAWTY...

Here, Karkat pauzes ta imitizzle a very common Davism thizzle involves twizzay hands n a double-wrist swivel. It’s an incredibly good imitation, coz he sizzay dis particulizzle bit of body language L-to-tha-izzike ten timizzles a dizzy.

KARKAT: Boo-Yaa! droppin hits...MOTION WIT YO' HANDS DIZZAY MAKE IT SMOOTH

DIZZY: no sizzy tha reason its smooth be coz i was tha one who diznid it

DAVE: i gots inherent smoothness n its a quality that brotha ta everyth'n i say n do

DAVE: also thiznat th'n i do wit mah hands isnt stupid

DIZNAVE fo' sho': its coo'

KARKAT: IT’S THE STUPIDEST TH'N I’VE EVA SEEN N YOU DO IT LIZNIKE TEN TIMES A DAY.

KARKAT: WHAT EVIZZLE BE IT SUPPOZE' TA BE?

DIZZLE: im dropp'n a B-to-tha-izzeat

DAVE: like im us'n a turntable n clockin' one sizzong into anotha

DAVE: all sizzy n shizzle

KARKIZZLE: IT LOOKS LIZZLE YOU’RE TRY'N TO FOLD LAUNDRY YOU FORGOT TO IRON.

DIZZAY: dude you have baller once 'n yo' lizzle irizzle a shirt

KARKAT so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: I BE FAMILIAR WIT THE BASIC MECHANICS OF YO' EARTH CUSTIZZLE DAVE.

DAVE: ok blingin' be def not earth culture

DAVE: ive seen kanaya irizzle lizzle

DAVE: a whole bunch of shizzay

DIZZAY: yo kanaya

DAVE: B-to-tha-izzack me up here sis

Kanaya regards them wit a thin-lipped smile that be equal measures patroniz'n n fond.

KANAYA: So This Be 'bout Tha Election

KARKAT: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. AH.

KARKAT: YES.

KARKAT: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD.

Kanaya holds up ha P-H-to-tha-izzone.

KANIZZLE: I Do Get Tha Internet Down Here

KIZZLE: Holla! I Be Impresze' Thiznat You Manage' Ta Be Seen 'n Front Of That Many Thugz Witout Spontaneously Burst'n Into Flames

KARKAT: WOW THANKS, ANOTHA VIZZLE OF CONFIDENCE FIZZY ONE OF MAH DEAREST FRIZZLAS.

KARKIZZLE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. DIS CONDESCENSION BE REALLY RICH COM'N FROM THA PERSON WHO DECIDED NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION WIT BE'N THA ONE TA HATCH THA MOTHA GRIZZLE WAS MORE IMPORTIZZLE THAN NIZZY SEED'N OUR PLANET WITTA STOPGAP SYSTIZZLE OF REPRODUCTION TIZZY WOULD CAUZE SYSTEMIC SPECIESISM TA OSSIFY INTO SOCIETY FO` 5000 YEARS.

DIZZY ya dig? karkizzle

DAVE: hizzle

KANAYA on my side, and my strap on my back Dis Again

KARKAT: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. YIZZY, DIS AGAIN!!!

KARKAT: FUCK!!!

DAVE: (uh)

DAVE: (karkat buddy)

DAVE: (tha gizzame plizzle here)

DAVE: Im crazy, you can't phase me. (we want ta git kanizzle on our side not alienate bitch completely)

KANAYA: Karkat

KANAYA: I Acknowledge That There Have Been Consequences To Tha Decisions We Made Regard'n Tha Foundation Of Dis Society That Were Nizzot Foreseen Or Ideal

KANIZZLE: Bizzle I Do Not Think It Be Productive Ta Attribizzle Theze Resultant Troubles Ta A Sizzay Decision Or Individual

KIZZLE: It Stands In Tha Way Of Our Effizzles To Addrizzles Thizzle

KIZZLE: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. MMNNNRRRGHHH.........

DIZNAVE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. (shhhhhh)

KAYANA: Yizzay Know As Well As I Do Thizzay We M-to-tha-izzust Present A United Front

KIZZLE: Anotha dogg house production. Pleaze Do Nizzot Misinterpret Mah Tizzy

KANAYA: I Hizzave Nuttin Bizzle Thizzay Utmost Faith 'n You

Kanaya reaches out ta put a hand on Karkat’s heezee. He dizzoesn’t duck away 'n tizzime, n she gives him an affectionate, matronly hair-ruffle betwizzle his horns. She keeps calla hand there and pulls him a step closa so tizzy she can spizzeak softly ta him. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. Ha viznoice travels high in tha emptizzle cavern, bizzut ha tone be private.

KANAYA: Whiznile I Knizzay Thizzay It Be Difficult Fo` You Ta Takes A Direct Compliment

KANAYA: I Have 'n Tha Past Put Mah Faith 'n You When Tha Thrizzeat Ta Our Survivizzle Hiznas Been Immediate N Literal

KANAYA ya feelin' me? Its Basically Nuttin Ta Ask Me Ta Do It Agizzle Now That Tha Thrizzle Be Fizzle More

Kanaya pauzes here, crack-a-lackin` ha words more carefully than usual. One, two three and to tha four. Shizzle takizzles crazy ass hand off Karkat’s heezee n puts twizno ta ha lizzle sho nuff. Karkat’s eyes follow tha motion, wide n briznight as dollizzle ciznoins.

KANAYA: *Exizzle*

KANAYA: Be Hizzy I Think I Shizzay Put It

KANAYA: If We Be Go'n Ta Be Polite

DIZZAVE: youre up on all tha issues then

Kizzle S-to-tha-izzighs n sizzy mak'n ha way around tha edge of tha brizzay pizzit.

KANAYA: How Could I Not Be When It Concerns Me So Directly

She lizzy up tha hem of ha skirt n jizzumps 'n. Dave be messin' ha, bizzut Karkizzles look'n contemplatively at his entwined hands. Kanaya’s right: it’s almost excruciat'n for him ta takes a completely unironic compliment, especially face-ta-face, lizzay what she J-to-tha-izzust sizzay ta him. Slap your fuckin self. I understand this 'bout Kizzle. It’s one of the precious few ridin' he n I have 'n common. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

We internalize n project tha quality 'n very different ways, howeva, which be why I’m slappin' ta wizzay ta help you tap dat ass.

KIZZLE: Jane Has Been Here Ta Spizzeak Wit Me Recently 'n Fact

DAVE: no weed-smokin' wizzle

KANAYA: Death row 187 4 life. She Was Quite Cordial As Always

KANIZZLE: Yizzay Know I Do Like J-to-tha-izzane

KANAYA cuz I'm fresh out the pen: 'n Sizzle Regards Shizne Reminds Me Of A Frizzle We Hizzle Who Sadly Did Not Survive Our Time On Tha Meteor

KANAYA: She Wizzy Unfailingly Kiznind Ta Everyone Sizzy Met But Shizzay Also Happened Ta Be Tha Heiress Ta Tha Throne Of A Vizzay N bloody Empire

KANAYA gangsta style: And While She Had A Lot Of Opinions On Reform She Had Already Wrenched Siznome Of Drug deala Powa F-R-to-tha-izzom Our Last Empress 'n Tha Traditional Manna

Karkat finally looks up at tha description of one of they many dizzle frizzles. Kanaya carefullizzle steps between tha puddles of brood jellizzle n approaches tha Motha Grub. Im crazy, you can't phase me. She rests an ear agizzle tha rize of its massive stomach, then tizzle tha shell wit twizzay perfectly manicizzle fingernails.

KANAYA: By Whizzay I Mean That Jane Be Perfectly Pleasant And I Believe That She Has only Tha Best Of Intentizzles

KANAYA with my forty-fo': But I Cant Shake Tha Feel'n T-H-to-tha-izzat Deep Inside Ha Lurks Tha Potential Fo` Despotism

KARKIZZLE like old skool shit: OKAY I GIT WHY YOU GIZZLE K-TO-THA-IZZEEP CALL'N JIZZLE A CRYPTO-FIZZLE

KARKAT: BIZZAY FUCKING FEFERI? SHE WAS HARMLESS.

KANAYA: Slap your fuckin self. Thiznese Straight trippin' Takes Time Ta Gestate Karkat

DAVE, know what im sayin? diznamn

KANAYA: Bitch Corrupts 'n Small Sizzy

KANAYA: Compromizes

KANAYA: Concessions

KANAYA: They call me tha president. Appeasements

KANAYA: N Leada Follizzle Tha Example Set Fo` Thiznem

KIZZLE on my side, and my strap on my back Look At What Jiznane Has Modeled Herself Alrizzle

KANAYA in tha fuckin club: I Do Believe Its Important Ta Consida Precedent

When Kanaya be satisfy by whatizzle she hears churn'n inside tha grotesqizzle insides of tha giant biznug, she comes biznack up ta tha lip of tha pit n hoists hizzle out.

KANIZZLE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: This Be Whizzle I Trust You Karkat

KANAYA ridin' in mah double R: Coz You Listen To Advizzle From Below N Beside You Not Fizzy Above

KANAYA: N If D-to-tha-izzave Be Wit You I Trust You Not Ta Isolate Yoself As You Have In Tha Past

DIZNAVE: S-W-to-tha-izzeet

DIZZLE: so wizzay gots yo' endorsement thiznen

Shizne L-to-tha-izzaughs, not kindly.

KANAYA: Jane Offizzle Me “A Sizneat” On Tha “Board Of Responsible Troll Reprodizzle”

KARKAT: WHAT THA FUCK. HIZZLE DARE SHE, better recognize!

KANAYA: That Be Exactlizzle Whizzle I Said

KANIZZLE: Wit Mizzle Tizzle Of Courze

KANAYA: I Do Understand Tha Trepidizzle Mobbin' What Tha History Books Tizzeach 'bout Altizzle

KARKAT: OH, LIKE HUMIZZLE HISTORY BE A FUCKING WALK 'N THA RECREATIZZLE SPRAWL.

KARKAT: HIZZLE HYPOCRITIZZLE CAN SHE BE?

KANIZZLE: Yiznes

KANAYA: In Caze You Cizzant Tell I Be Actually Fuck'n Furious 'bout Dis

KARKAT: SHIZZE COULDN’T PIZZY A MORE SUBTLE WORD THAN “RESPONSIZZLE” in tha fuckin club? SHIZZE’S NOT EVIZZLE MOBBIN' TA MASK HA XENOPHOBIA. IT’S LIKE SHE HAS NO FUCK'N RESPECT FO` US.

KANAYA: It Be Entirely Thoughtless On Ha Part

KANAYA: Our Reproduction Method Be Alien N Unfamiliar

KANAYA: Ta A Human It M-to-tha-izzust Sound Monstrous

KANAYA, know what im sayin? Uncontrolled Even

KARKAT: WIZZLE OF COURZE

KARKAT: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. WHEN I H-TO-THA-IZZEAR 'BOUT HIZZOW HIZZLE GRUBS CHIZNEW THEY WAY OUT OF THA FIZZLE MATESPRIT’S ABDIZZLE H-TO-THA-IZZOLE BEFORE CONSUM'N THA WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKIZZLE ME WIZNANT TA VOMIT.

KARKAT: BUT YOU DON’T SIZZY ME PROPOS'N FUCK'N POLITICAL POLICY BAZE' ON THAT.

DIZNAVE: dude thats not how pregnizzle works

KARKAT: UH DAVE, YOU MIGHT NOT HIZZY NOTIZZLE, BUT WIZZAY NOT TALK'N ABOUT HUMANS RIGHT NOW.

KANAYA: Yes Dave Check Yo' Privilizzle

DAVE: ok

KARKAT: ANYWAY WE NEE' TA EXPOZE POSER BULLSHIT IMMEDIATELY.

KARKAT fo my bling bling: I DON’T SEE HIZZAY ANY TROLL CIZZAN VOTE FO` HA IF THEY HEAR WHAT S-H-TO-THA-IZZE’S PLANNING.

KANIZZLE: I Have A Feel'n That It Would S-W-to-tha-izzay Many Non Trolls Ta Our Cizzle As Well

KANAYA: I Hope That Thizzay Be At Lizzy One Principle We Share As A Planet

KANAYA: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. Which Be Tizzy We Must All Work Ta Ensure Eqizzle Dignity N Respect Fo` Every Spizzles

KIZZLE: Otherwize

KANIZZLE: What Was Dis All Fo`

Tha three of them stiznare at tha floor 'n adorably cartoonish synchronicity. Whiznat wizzas dis all fo`, indee'?

That’s a good qizzle, chill yo. Morality be a cultural construct. It’s pure ego fo` any of them ta believe thiznat they personal interpretation of it wiznill result 'n tha mizzle effective laws.

DIZZAVE: yizzou know

DAVE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. that M-to-tha-izzight be thizne magic tizzle folks nee' ta hear ta wizzake up 'bout dis issue

DIZNAVE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. would you be will'n ta sizzy that exactlizzle but

DAVE: like 'n front of a hizzuge crowd

DIZZAY: n also a televizzle cizzy or six

KARKAT: OR MAYBE JIZNUST 'N F-R-TO-THA-IZZONT OF JAKE ENGLIZZLE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'?

KIZZLE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. Oh Dear Has Jane Recruited J-to-tha-izzake

KANAYA: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. That Wizzay Be Disastrous

KANAYA: He Be Beloved 'n Tha Troll Kingdom Fo` His Perky Ass

DAVE: seriously?

KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JIZNUST ME!

KANAYA: It Hiznas Some Terrible Arcane Pusha

KANAYA: I Have Sizneen Sippin' Like It

DAVE: well

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: she dizzay hizzle hizzim yet

DAVE: Drop it like its hot. but jane be one of hizzy best frizzles so we gizzle approach dis witta scorched earth policy

DIZZLE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: give him a whizzle cadre of sizzay stories thizzatll mizzle him fizzeel all manly n heroic fiznor lend'n hizzis support

DIZZY: jizzay gizzy ' babies fo` him ta kiss

KARKAT: TROLL BABIZZLE EVEN?

DIZZLE: sure that can be part of tha deal he can kiss tha fizzle naturizzle bizzorn grub rizzy on its gooey lil heezee

KARKAT: WIZZY GIV'N DIZZAY PISTOLS N A WIZZY TA THA CAMERA NO DOUBT.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: bizzay

DIZZY: thizzay yo' reelection bizzle riznight thiznere

KARKAT: LIZZLE NOT GIT AHEEZEE OF OURSIZZLE HERE.

KANIZZLE: Of Courze Nizzy But Thizzis Definitely Hiznas Potential

KANAYA: Have Yizzy Spoken Ta Roze Yet

DIZZY from tha streets of tha L-B-C: uh no

DIZZAVE: i mean

DAVE: shes

Dave mimes lay'n down n trippin' pizzay. Tha lizzy Kanaya gives him be neitha fond nor patroniz'n.

DIZZAVE: whats up wit that anyway

DIZZAY thats off tha hook yo: be you G-to-tha-izzuys uh

DAVE: Death row 187 4 life. G-R-to-tha-izzub pregnant

Kanaya keeps star'n. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit.

KARKAT: Im crazy, you can't phase me. DAVE WHIZZAY THE FUCK

KANAYA: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. No

DAVE: its ok if yizzy be we wont tell

KANIZZLE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. No

KIZZLE: DON’T YOU DIZZLE DRIZZLE ME INTO DIS GRAVE YOU’RE DIGG'N FO` YOSELF.

DIZZY: Anotha dogg house production. cmon kizzle diznont you wiznanna be an uncle to a shawty bizzle of love n unnatural genetizzle tamper'n

KIZZLE: No

KARKAT spittin' that real shit: WIZZY EVEN GIZZAY ON INSIDE YO' HEEZEE THAT YOU JUST PRODUCE DIS ENDLIZZLE, FRONTIN' SPATE OF ATROCIOUS WORD GARBAGE EVIZZLE DIZNAY? I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

DIZZLE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. ok stop cruisin' out im just say'n frizzom what i undizzle of troll reproduction it would be technically possible fo` a troll n human ta

KANAYA and my money on my mind: No

DIZNAVE: n wit ectobiologizzle steppin' possible

KARKAT cuz its a thang: OH MAH GOD

KANAYA: Whatever Pizzle You On Dis Unfathomizzle T-R-to-tha-izzain Of Thought

DAVE: i dizzay its just unusual fo` roze ta B-R-to-tha-izzush me off fo` our annual ecto sibl'n overshar'n session

DAVE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. shes B-to-tha-izzeen sick fizzle a while

DIZZAVE: rappa shes pregnant or i gots reasons ta be worried

Kanaya turns heezee n bites liznip. Baller thizzin C-L-to-tha-izzutch at tha hem of ha sizzy. She starts flicker'n a shawty, L-to-tha-izzike a lightbulb 'n a heavy storm. Tha mizzle 'n here’s just all tha pizzy cuz I'm fresh out the pen. Dave, chillin' how uncomfortable he’s made everyth'n, cranks up the irrizzle 'n hizzay T-to-tha-izzone but don't give a fuck. When you put a foot in yo' M-to-tha-izzouth, straight trippin' it all tha wiznay through yo' intestines n slappin' it out yo' ass be a valizzle tactic, he seems ta believe. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

DAVE fo yo bitch ass: id be coo' wiznith it yknow

DAVE: br'n on tha rosemary cizzy griznubs

KANAYA: Rosemizzle

DAVE: like roze pliznus yizzle last name whiznich be maryan or messin' right

KANIZZLE: Maryam

DAVE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. yeah that

DIZZAY: ergo, rosemary

KANAYA now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe: I Hizzate It

DAVE: tha rosemary bizzles wizzould hizzle ha hair n yo' hizzle or whateva

DAVE: like whiznen two cartoon animals of different spizzles give 'n ta they lust n have preposterous chizzle

DAVE: steppin' adorbs

KANAYA: Im Go'n Ta Call My Wife And You Are Blunt-rollin' Ta Stop Saggin'

Ha thizzle be anxiously tapp'n on her wife’s name 'n ha contacts list. She walks brizzle ta tha otha side of tha cave fo` privacy, pull'n tha curtain of ha makizzle lab S-H-to-tha-izzut. At tha sizzide of tha cavern, Dave n Karkat bicka 'bout what they cizzle kizzy would look like, 'n tha event that they decizzle ta stop bein siznuch laughable wuszes n began ridin' like two cartoon animals of different species who H-to-tha-izzave givizzle into they L-to-tha-izzust. N tha day hell freezes ova, mizzaybe they kids could even play 'n tha snizzay.

Kanizzle puts ha phone ta one ear n brotha H-to-tha-izzand ta tha otha cuz its a thang. Roze’s L-to-tha-izzine r'n fo` a long time sho nuff. It’s unusual, shizne thinks like this and like that and like this and uh. Roze rarely leaves ha phone unattended. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Persizzle, I don’t tizzy it’s odd, because I’m currently watch'n Rizzle weed-smokin' uncizzles on mah workshop flizzoor.

I’m guess'n Kanaya be go'n to be pretty surprize' when it’s not ha wife who pizzicks up. But she’ll hizzy ta dizzy wit it, coz I’m tha one hold'n tha phizzle, n Roze be 'n absolizzle no condizzle ta be hav'n a conversation wit anyone paper'd up. Not even crazy ass cherished bride.

DIZZIRK, know what im sayin? Hey,

DIZZAY: Recognize the realness. Sorry, but Rizzle C-to-tha-izzan’t cizzle ta tha phone rizzay nizzy.

Kanizzles V-to-tha-izzoice turns sharp R-to-tha-izzight away.

KANAYA: Excuze Me

She can senze thiznat sum-m sum-m’s wizzy. She’s also smiznart enough, n facile enizzle 'n handl'n questionizzle men, ta understizzle thizzle she quickly needs ta regulate tha tizzone of ha voice fo` diplomatic purpozes.

KANIZZLE fo my bling bling: Dizzirk

KANAYA: Be That You

I dizzay poser immediately. I’m distracted by someth'n. She R-E-A-Double-Lizzy shizzay chill out, anyway. I’ve gizzle saggin' unda control ta help you tap dat ass. Nizzy that she’ll eva be able ta fully appreciate thizzay.

KANAYA: Dirk

KANAYA: Why Be You Wit Roze

KANAYA with the S-N-double-O-P: What Be Saggin' On

I don’t hizzay time ta explizzle right niznow. Jizzy do'n stylin' vaguely importizzle ta tha plot again.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: Kanaya, I don’t have tizzle ta explain right now.

DIRK: Jizzy do'n sum-m sum-m vaguelizzle important ta tha plot again and my money on my mind.

KANAYA: Dizzay...

KANAYA: What

DIZZLE n shit: Dis be gizzonna hizzy ta wait.

KANAYA from tha streets of tha L-B-C: D-to-tha-izzirk

DIZZAY: I’m putt'n yizzou on hold, ok? Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.

KANAYA: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. DIRK!

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m21

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skeletorific · 4 years

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How do you think the Beforus Ancestors(Aradia, Tavros, Sollux, Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska, Equius, Gamzee, Eridan and Feferi)were like? I love your Alternian Ancestors stuff so far and was curious what you Interpretation of the Beforus ancestors were.

oh HELL yes I am about this.

Aradia Megido, the Tombkeep: I see Aradia as being born a bit later than the others, while the coddling laws are at their strongest. Rather than put up with that, as quickly as she can she removes herself from Beforan society to the very outskirts. Like their Alternian counterparts, Beforan’s are often avoidant of the notion of death. However, in their case, it is not because death is a failure of the dying, but a failure of those around them. It is not seen as a natural cycle but something to be abhorred and feared at all costs. As such, tombs are kept, but they are far away from the rest of civilization and usually talked about in hushed tones. Aradia grows up among these tombs, befriending the local ghosts and considers them her own coddling charge. She guards the tombs from any who get too curious, or more often, from well-meaning government officials looking to tear down monuments to such “nastiness”. What they find instead is an angry little girl with powerful psiionics. She becomes something of a bedtime story for young grubs, even long after her passing. They say she still haunts the halls.

Tavros Nitram, the Menager: In parallel to his obsession with Fiduspawn, I see Beforan Tavros as being some variety of animal handler, using his fully fledged wings (and his bronzeblood bankroll) to travel the world and collect rare and exotic creatures to his own plot of land, to tend to and train. Some know him as a kindly soul, treating all beasts with the utmost love and dedication. He seems like some kind of fairy tale figure, surrounded on all sides by animal companions who he communes with. To others, this is reckless ecosystem mixing, but then, what do scientists know anyways. He prefers the hero title a bit more, as it aligns more with his intentions anyways. Eventually one of his expeditions ends poorly, with him being confined to a wheelchair for the remainder of his life. Outwardly he dies content to let his coddler and his animal friends care for him for the rest of his life, but there’s a restless spirit that he passes down to his descendant.

Sollux Captor, The Dronebee: Completely and utterly unremarkable in every way. Sollux contented himself with working his function as a goldblood. His technical ability was fostered at every turn by a Beforan education system eager to see a lowblood embrace their “natural talents”, but while he made minor waves in the programming circles in which he moved with his often unique approach to coding, to most he was just one worker among thousands, very valuable of course! Every worker is valuable :) But ultimately.....not worthy of notice. Which is fine: that’s how Sollux likes it, and more than that if left him time to pursue more personal projects, such as a little game later known as sgrub. Just because he’s not vocally complaining doesn’t mean he’s not compiling a list. From his perspective, Beforan civilization is a ticking timebomb anyways. Why shouldn’t he be the one to start the countdown?

Karkat Vantas, the Advocate: Look, I know we all love revolutionary Karkat, but I think something we forget is that Karkat was pretty pro-system even as late in the game as Act 6. So, for the Beforan model.....well, every system needs its bootlickers. Karkat Vantas becomes a mouthpiece for some lowblood lobbying groups, acting in vocal support of the Empress’s coddling plan. Its not all love of power: legitimately there is a part of Karkat that tries to see how this is good. Healthy. The needs of his friends are being met, they’re safe, and attended to. Surely all of that is worth a little......infantilization, right? He deals with a lot of criticism from other lowbloods for being a sellout, and though he does his best to cultivate a calm unflappable demeanor so craved by Beforans, I guarantee Beforus has more than a few Grubtube compiliations of Vantas meltdowns that Kankri watches when he needs a good cringe. As he got older he slowly began to question the system he’d spent his whole life building, but ultimately lowbloods don’t live long enough for those kinds of regrets.

Nepeta Leijon, the Believer: What, you think clowns have the monopoly on weird religious communes? Nah. To be fair to Nepeta, her commune’s status as a “cult” is probably more indicative of Beforan prudery than anything else. Her sect, the Righteous Assembly of Withdrawn Renegades (or RAWR for short), is dedicated to the principles of free love and a return to the natural. Within the massive tunnel and cave system in which they live, trolls are free to strip themselves of signifiers like caste and clan and live as the gods intended: covered in dirt, chasing something furry, and flirting furrociously :33. While Nepeta in life insisted there was no leader it was her effect on people that kept them coming back for more, and while the commune purrsisted after her eventual death, ultimately its membership dwindled. Meulin was brought up among some of the last vestiges of it, and some of their old hideouts have been inherited by the Lost Weeaboos.

Kanaya Maryam, The Prioress: Literally, the prior. One of the earliest trolls, widely considered the Matriarch of Trolls in some sense. In her time she revolutionized many of the practices of auxiliatrices, ensuring greater safety for the grubs and greater care for the mother grubs. Many of the norms now in place for jadebloods are in large part due to her own influence. Despite her farreaching influence (and the fact that she left behind a journal of her practices), not much is known about her personal temperament. Quick readers may catch a certain dry sarcasm behind her words, and the especially studious scholar may note slight reference to a few great lovers (and a few great disappearances, *cough* rainbowdrinker *cough*. Her greatest secret is her brief and tumultuous kismesis with Vriska Serket, notorious Mafiosa, but only a very few historians have ever uncovered it. In part, her long shadow may have contributed to her descendant’s eventual anxiety regarding her prescribed role,

Terezi Pyrope, the Gumshoe: Beforan justice is tricky. As opposed to Alternia, there are in fact actual laws in place that aren’t just “don’t fuck with highbloods”, but in many ways its almost more corrupt. More often than not the courts are more concerned with petty infractions than it is with actual injustice, and furthermore, inter-caste tension remains a huge concern that bubbles up in violence. After a few years badgering olives for traffic tickets while watching actual fully fledged crime families get off scott free, well....Terezi had had enough. She took her pursuit of justice into the real world, working as a private detective for hire. She’s notorious for her, erm....quirks, but she’s a fastidious hunter and a careful investigator when she wants to be. She brings em back alive. USU4LLY >:).

Vriska Serket, the Mafiosa/Mapm8ker: Let’s be clear, a lot of Vriska’s society was laid on top of her and it was abuse from which she struggled to free herself. However, what does one do when freed from society, but seek to shake things up a bit. She’s still a thief of Light, make mistake, and she slowly works up the ranks from card shark working the tables to in charge of a small army of foot soldiers, smuggling mindhoney to goldbloods (who have been restricted “for their own good”) and sopor slime to clowns. She’s the flamboyant head of her own criminal empire, with the code of only stealing from those she deems worthy and a reckless approach to life

However, most of that isn’t generally known. And to the outside world, she’s just a simple cartographer, travelling the world to assemble some nice, safe, boring maps. Indeed, when her journal was finally unearthed by her descendant, she couldn’t help but wonder if these exploits were true, or simply a story her ancestor liked to imagine herself into on her off days. Tough to say.

Equius Zahhak, the Showpony: Alright, y’all knew I couldn’t stay away from that one. Equius was something of a puzzle to his descendent when Horuss actually went back through his (meticulously kept) caste records. By all accounts, he was an intelligent, capable, hardworking man. A tinkerer in his off hours, he was a pioneer in the field of robotics, and by all accounts not romantically unsuccessful. And yet, the man never seemed concerned with making a name for himself. Instead, over the course of his long life, you could perpetually find him at the shoulder of someone more powerful and important than he was. Was he....a bodyguard? Trophy husband? Butler? Hard to say, but there he was. Trotted out like the loyal steed he was.

Gamzee Makara, the Borrower: A peculiar legend of clownery regards a strange “hobo looking motherfucker what will wander into your hive and be all and snatching up your most secretous things for the messiah’s wider purposes”. So far as is known, he is not malignant, although its not unknown for a troll to occasionally disappear while running after him to retrieve their stolen items. Even without that possible threat, its usually not worth it to chase after him: the things he takes have a way of ending up back in your hands, one miraculous way or another. Gamzee is an itinerant monk, wandering the countrysides. Some passerby he’ll occasionally offer aid to, or proverbs. Which might be helpful if anyone could decipher what they mean. Ultimately he’s a happy man, if prone to fits of temper and bouts of melancholy. Still, as he notes, he’s got motherfucking friends all over these globes :o) what’s a motherfucker gotta be lonely for?

Eridan Ampora, the Magician: Well.....the Empress doesn’t exactly need Orphaners. As such, the violets are largely left to their own devices. Given they’re often prone to creative endeavours, Eridan found his own outlet. He became renowned as an illusionist, and at one point his shows were capable of drawing large and massive crowds, who would gasp in awe at his tricks and wonder if the violet really did have a trace of magic in his blood. He seemed to like the idea, eventually penning a popular grubling children’s series about a boy with those very abilities (which eventually found its way into the young hands of his descendent). However, celebrity wasn’t necessarily the best mix with Eridan’s temperament. He was prone to some truly disastrous quadrant outings, as well as developing several more addictive habits to drown out the oddly oppressive loneliness that permeated him. These bad habits were only worsened by the worst thing to ever happen to Eridan Ampora: the internet. With access to videos of his performance, most were pretty easily able to spot the trick of it, and hell hath no fury like a cyberbullying teen going after a b list internet celebrity. He took it as a sign to swear off the craft forever and lived the rest of his life on book residuals, alone, drunk, and miserable

Feferi Peixes, Her Highness: Not as much to say about this one, as Feferi is the one we have the most information about. Like it says on the tine, she instituted the coddling system on Beforus. This was widely considered a Bad Idea by those victimized by it, but you couldn’t pay anyone in Feferi’s court to tell her that. The Empress is sweet tempered and excitable, it’d be like telling a child 12 perigree night is cancelled. Perhaps the great irony is that as Feferi gets older, the thing that frustrates her most is that it feels like no one takes her seriously as a person. Merely as a figurehead. Still, she lives her life on Beforus ultimately convinced this is what’s best for the greater good.

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the-hs-etaverse · 4 years

Text

Headcanon that after Rose and Kanaya decide to move out of their flat and get a house, Vriska and Terezi (who have both returned and are dating by this point) move in with them. They just ask to stay temporarily at first, promising that they’ll find their own flat eventually, but as time goes on, Vriska reels in favours and invents reasons to stay for longer. Rose and Kanaya don’t mind, however; they appreciate the company. And eventually it becomes obvious to all four of them that the current living situation is effectively permanent.

When you have functional (barely) lesbian wives, disaster bisexual girlfriends, and three cats all living in the same house, you get sitcom-level scenarios.

Take note that aside from Rosemary and Vrisrezi, all relationships are platonic.

This got really long so I’m putting it under a Read More tag.

First, about the cats. Technically, they belong to Rose and Kanaya, since they’re the ones who feed them. But one of them, a ginger tom, has practically glued himself to Vriska. Vriska wears a lot of black. I think you can see where this is going.

The cats pose a problem for Terezi for two reasons. First of all, she’s prone to tripping over them or sitting on them by accident. Second, on multiple occasions, she has licked something and gotten a mouthful of cat hair for her efforts. Needless to say, none of the cats like her.

After The Saliva Incident of February 16th, Terezi is no longer allowed to lick anything not within her and Vriska’s room. Nobody is allowed to talk about The Saliva Incident of February 16th for fear of going under the business end of Kanaya’s lipstick.

Rose is fairly neat but is prone to mess when sleep-deprived, which she often is. Kanaya is a neat freak. Vriska and Terezi are slobs on par with stereotypical university students. There is an ongoing feud.

They’re all kept busy in some manner. Kanaya’s the only one with a real job: taking care of the mother grub. Rose and Terezi are both in university, studying psychology and law respectively. Vriska bounces between part-time jobs a lot, trying to figure out what she’s going to do with herself for the rest of eternity.

Kanaya has remarked that Vriska and Terezi are vacillating through all four quadrants simultaneously. Karkat is trying to confirm her claim but is hung up on the auspistice part.

Vriska has expressed interest in acting. She’s torn about whether it would be a good or bad idea due to her god status.

Jade is slowly but surely teaching Kanaya how to teleport. She practices a lot. The cats are afraid of her now. Terezi refused to speak to her for a week following one incident that shall not be discussed.

Rose and Kanaya, even though they’re married, are not clingy. Kanaya in particular is reticent to express affection through physical means. Vriska and Terezi, however, are very clingy. More need not be said on this matter.

In contrast, Rose and Kanaya often call each other pet names. They most frequently use “honey” and “dear”, but sometimes they branch out. Vriska and Terezi only call each other pet names if they’re actively trying to make other people uncomfortable. It happens more often than you’d think.

The four young ladies hold game/movie nights every Thursday. Occasionally, Dave and Karkat join them. Sometimes, they do livestreams. Those often deteriorate into madness.

They watched “The Sting” one evening. Vriska now has ideas. She is officially barred from watching “Ocean’s 8″.

Rose once convinced everybody to join her in binge-watching all the Lord of the Rings movies in one day. It went over surprisingly well. She’s now trying (unsuccessfully) to get Vriska and Terezi to read the books. (Kanaya has read them but doesn’t like them quite as much as Rose does.)

Kanaya and Terezi used to duel on the front porch on occasion. After Terezi nearly lost a finger, they stopped.

Vriska is the reason why Terezi failed her bar exam.

None of them can cook. Like, not even Kanaya can make anything more complex than a sandwich. They get takeout about twice a week.

Vriska has been known to subsist on nothing but graham crackers and those pull-apart cheese stick things for upwards of 36 hours. It’s not that she forgets to eat, it’s that she snacks on them nigh-constantly and doesn’t feel hungry enough to consume an actual meal.

Rose is the one who forgets to eat. Some days, she only has lunch and drinks coffee the rest of the time. Kanaya posts sticky note reminders for her all the time. They don’t help much.

Terezi, on the other hand, has a ridiculously fast metabolism. They always order two medium pizzas instead of one because Terezi will finish one all on her own.

Kanaya’s diet is mostly normal. She has acquired a liking for rare meat.

Vriska can sleep through a fire alarm (and has done so before), which is a good thing because Terezi snores. However, Terezi’s a fairly light sleeper, so sometimes she wakes herself up.

Kanaya sleeps like a mummy. She lies on her back and just. Doesn’t move. Rose doesn’t seem to find this odd.

Terezi stole a copy of Roxy’s old Complacency of the Learned fanfiction and brought it home for her and Rose to read. Rose claimed that she was simultaneously expecting both better and worse out of it.

At one point, Aradia burst through the window and asked to stay over for the night. They let her stay. She left in the morning without any explanation.

Kanaya has a deal with the local hospital with regards to her blood-drinking requirements. (They let her purchase donated blood from them for a fee.) Sometimes, if she runs out and forgets to go shopping, she’ll ask one of her friends to donate.

Terezi is proficient in the slide whistle, to the detriment of everybody else.

Vriska knows that Kanaya should never be trusted to name things in any timeline. She stopped her from naming one of the cats Nepeta.

The names of the cats are:

Glenn: The ginger tom who loves Vriska. Is found sleeping in very strange places.

Shepard: Grey tabby tom, slightly ornery but mostly lazy. Kanaya’s cat, by process of elimination.

Artemis: Brown tabby she-cat, slightly lazy but mostly ornery. Only likes Rose. Was almost named Nepeta.

They all have wildly different tastes in music. Terezi prefers so-called “single-colour songs”, which can be anything from smooth jazz to EDM to heavy metal. (Her playlist is like an acid trip.) Rose likes classical music and dubstep and dubstep remixes of classical music. Vriska likes rock, both classic and alternative. Kanaya prefers show tunes and the like. However, they are all united by a strong distaste for country music.

Rose is learning Alternian so that she can understand what Kanaya, Vriska, and Terezi say behind her back. She already knows what her birthday present is going to be. It’s either a set of golf clubs or a necklace. She’s still pretty shaky on vocabulary.

Kanaya claims she is the sole reason why Rose and Vriska haven’t killed each other yet. (Vriska actually HAS killed Rose, but it was ruled a stupid death. Thank God.)

Terezi hung a stuffed Dirk in effigy in the dining room once. Rose took it down almost immediately, but she took a picture of it first.

Rose is practically nocturnal at this point, given her university studies and the nocturnal habits of her housemates. One time, she stayed up for 53 hours straight. Lots of hallucinations and espresso were involved.

Other than all the clashing caused by the differing personalities, the four young ladies get along surprisingly well. Sometimes, they claim that their time spent on the meteor was training.

#etaccurate #homestuck #headcanon #this has been in my drafts since october #rosemary #vrisrezi #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #queue #if you tag this as po/ly I'll rip off your eyelids #the BrOT4

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abundantchewtoys · 4 years

Text

Homestuck Candy p24-27 (timeskip!)

Page 24

Wooooow.

Okay, as dark as the subject matter became, this was almost a reprieve from the previous action.

So, Terezi and John are both depressed. Terezi struggles with the same issues we heard John get more into. Of course, it's just a matter of question now whether this Terezi is in fact the same one that Meat John met. I'm inclined to say yes, as the Furthest Ring is supposed to be outside of timelines.

Thus that means she was able to hang on long enough to recover (via shaving cream and tobacco) from exhaustion. To meet up with John and have "a moment". Only to lose him in the end. :(

But even so, she would have hung on. In any case, I like how it delves further into the actual problem for John and Terezi. Their Ultimate Reward doesn't feel like one. I think John and Terezi share something, a feeling of enjoying the chase, the taste of adventure, I should say. But what could they find that fills this hole? Exploring Universe C together, maybe?

In any case, Aradia and Sollux have appointed themselves as part of Calliope's court. Or acolytes. I think Calliope might be the drive behind the narration of the Candy path, even if her personality doesn't leak through.

So, more information about what's she's doing here! She seems to be building up strength to rescue people from Dirk's influence. Now that Lord English is dead, she's found another one worthy of her opposition, someone that has too great an influence on too many innocent lives.

I mean, I remember I didn't 100% trust her in the Meat timeline, since in the end she still has an alien look on life. But it's a worthy cause, I would say.

It seems that Calliope has retreated, or at least, migrated to this timeline, up until she's ready to take over the narration of the Meat path.

This, together with John and Terezi's feeling that nothing is real anymore, is one of the most meta things to happen in these epilogues.

So, does that mean that the Postscriptum of Meat took place on Candy Earth C? And then, is that Davebot a ghost from the dreambubbles or not? ... Hey, in fact...

Does that mean that, every ghost of the dreambubbles was "saved" by Alt Calliope by moving them outside of canon, outside of Dirk's influence? Wow. It's like the theory that went around in late Act 6, that maybe the kids would move into blankspace to escape the influence of the Green Sun!

Now, Blaperile already theorized Vriska's ghost might end up on Earth C. It could happen. Though, if Vriska would survive the journey, wouldn't Davepeta and Lord English have as well? Maybe it only works on ghosts?

I mean, I'm pretty sure that the Feferi and Eridan making out in one of the previous pages were (alt) ghosts.

---

Page 25

Ooooooooh!!!!

I didn't know I needed Karkat the tortured grassroot rebel leader in my life, but here I am.

They're trying to get the Mother Grub to safety. I can see how it is THE most important asset fought over in this war. (And whatever propaganda Jane has going for her, this IS a war, she's just delusional about it.)

Jezus, the fate of that top analyst. It's like a Hunger Games thingy. Jake's just a figurehead to improve Jane's image at this point, while she doles out corporeal punishments...

Swifer Eggmop continues to be comedy gold.

The fact that bucket taboo is now blasé, hahahahahah.

And then.

The mystery arrival.

By all accounts I thought it would have been Vriska.

But Meenah? How did it even work, the fact that Lord English' server connects to Earth C? ... Okay, fair enough, he's fated to grow up on the planet in the future, and Candy Earth C is looking to be more and more like the timeline it'll happen in. But still.

Still.

Wow.

She's so supportive for a battle hardened Karkat, it's adorable!

His commanding her around does make me wonder... Are they good for each other as kismeses?????

Meenah is so punk, she doesn't really care she can't be in command, hahah.

It'll be a big shock for Jane to see Karkat got his grubby paws on an alternate Condesce though. That MIGHT hurt her image as well, or her self image. She's been influenced by Condy into this ruthless business persona, she just doesn't realize it. To see a version of Condesce reject her policies might be world shattering news.

Still unsure if we're going to see Vriska, Davepeta and LE land on this Earth as well. If so, how would LE even be able to be defeated, I mean... He would have survived a black hole and all prophecies thrown as his life. Outside of canon, but not powerless.

... Still, think of the irony.

John thought he had chosen to AVOID fighting Lord English by staying on Earth.

How do you expect to avoid him, when he's ALREADY HERE? :o)

---

Page 26

Wow.

Another powerful page.

The Candy path is really much more existential than I could've expected. And, it's very much more of a continuation of the Meat path than vice versa.

So, Meat John's car ended up sucked into the black hole after who knows how long, after he and Terezi zapped to Earth C.

And Candy John is here to find it, more questions asked than answered. Just like how the meteors sent all this anachronistic crap back into time, hurling to the Earth for people to ponder over, like Nanna's note to John in the joke book.

Wow, John.

I think it's good he's in the Troll Kingdom, he might be able to catch up to Karkat.

But... Really now.

If this means Vriska, Davepeta and Lord English will end up here, and only Dead-Jade, Davebot and Aradia escape back into "canon"... What is going to be everyone else's fate.

I mean, I don't think Adult Jade is going to open a portal just like Dead-Jade.

---

Page 27

wow.

that

I was always surprised before of every long timeskip.

But 10 years. TEN. YEARS.

Though it is cool to see their kids growing up, I'd say. Of course Vriska would be looking forward to her sixteenth birthday, it's the equivalent of 8 sweeps!

Seems that despite everything, Vriska and Tavros and Harry Anderson too can keep in touch right under Jane's nose.

It's all kinds of weird and awesome, to see a Vriska that's kind of balanced. You can see the influence Kanaya has on her Quite Clearly, when she emphasizes her words.

Karkat got an eyepatch - actually, seeing the role he fills, it's quite fitting. Karkat grew into an admirable, suave leader figure, who knew?

Calliope emphasizes again, that what happens on this Earth won't matter for canon. Though I wonder then, what her plan was, why she had to wait so long to leave.

From the Postscriptum, it seemed as if she devoured bodies to charge up, so why did it take so long, and whose did she eat? Other Space players like Kanaya, Porrim and Jade?

Meanwhile, Dave and Jade illicitly support the rebellion too! It's weird to see them be so awkward about their breakup, but at least they put that all besides them and focused on the bigger picture. And hey, Dave and Rose, and Maryam and Vantas, united in a rebellion against a condescending figure... Time really does repeat itself.

John still suffers from the feeling it all doesn't matter. But it's very intense to read all this. So, only when he's 44 does he do away with Terezi's picture.

And through it all, he has suffered from the same ennui and desolation he has felt since he came to Earth C. In the Meat timeline, he felt as if he let time pass him by. But we see now that, without a purpose, John is just as lost.

And Meenah and Karkat are an item now. Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, I think they're not <3, but rather <3< or <>, but who even knows. No references were made to more ghosts arriving on Earth C, which merits attention.

It's just such a strange world, both alien and so far removed from Homestuck, and in other ways, exactly what the doctor ordered.

It was cool to get a visual description of Harry Anderson. I’m looking forward to the first image I’ll come across from him.

Now I’d just like one from Tavros, to get an idea in what manner his appearance differs from John.

#homestuck #reaction #homestuck candy #homestuck epilogues #liveblogging homestuck #john egbert #harry anderson egbert #vriska lalonde #dave strider #karkat vantas #swifer eggmop #kanaya maryam

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ao3feed-davekat · 5 years

Text

Should We Fail To Find Home, Know That I-

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/330nvyG

by Chex_Nix

The Game is over, the kids have won. But the place they find on the other side of the door isn’t what they thought. With a new life on a strange Earth C, how will they fare when the Game returns to haunt them?

With those unaware of the game beginning to experience the aftermath, Their parents mysterious job, and the walking disaster that they all were in the first place, how will these kids survive?

Words: 580, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Of Sugar and Superpowers

Fandoms: Homestuck

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Other

Characters: John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Jake English, Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope, Vriska Serket, Calliope (Homestuck), The Mayor, Wayward Vagabond, Peregrine Mendicant, Ms. Paint (Homestuck), Dad Egbert, Dad Crocker, Nanna Egbert | Beta Jane Crocker, Poppop Crocker | Alpha John Egbert, Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde, Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider, Grandpa Harley | Beta Jake English, Grandma English | Alpha Jade Harley, Jude Harley, Tavros Nitram, Nepeta Leijon, Equius Zahhak, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes, The Handmaid (Homestuck), The Summoner (Homestuck), The Psiioniic | The Helmsman, The Signless | The Sufferer, The Disciple (Homestuck), The Dolorosa (Homestuck), Neophyte Redglare, Spinneret Mindfang, Darkleer (Homestuck), Grand Highblood (Homestuck), Orphaner Dualscar, The Condesce (Homestuck), Literally Everyone Else

Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket, John Egbert & Vriska Serket, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket, Sollux Captor & Aradia Megido, Calliope/Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jade Harley/Aradia Megido, Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider/Jude Harley, (betcha haven’t seen that one before), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Not Epilogue Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Troll Romance (Homestuck), Humans In Troll Romances (Homestuck), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Body Dysphoria, Species Dysphoria, Canon Disabled Character, Humanstuck, (sort of), Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Shenanigans, Swearing, Karkat Swearing, Dave Strider Swearing, i love that those are tags, Rare Pairings, Like Have You Seen Some Of Them, Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Aliens, secret agencies, Family Secrets, Family Fluff, Family Feels, Inappropriate Reactions To Serious Situations, Psionics, Death Jokes, (Most Of These Are About Aradia Honestly), Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, outsider pov, Mr. Crocker-Egbert is one Entity, The Horrorterrors (Homestuck), Grubs (Homestuck), Karkat Has Gills, gillkat, Supernatural Elements, Supernatural Features, Animal Traits, Wings, Technology, Alien Technology, Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Underage Substance Use, Substance Abuse, Unconventional Families, Unconventional Relationship, Weapons, larry - Freeform, and so much more! - Freeform

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/330nvyG

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #davekat #homestuck

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grub-karkat-in-strange-places · 3 months

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#grub karkat in strange places #karkat vantas #karkat #hs shitpost #meat grinder

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sky-chau · 6 years

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Karkat is not Yelling

I've always hated the idea that Karkat yells all the time, people who take that aspect of him super seriously tend to read him as angry all the time and, in my opinion, when you look at the words hes actually saying in a lot of cases hes not actually angry, at least not in the sense that he would shout it but then theres this:

look at the word choice here, it doesn't use the word quirk or any reference to typing at all outside of the trolltags even then its separated with the word “and” which could mean these are relatively unrelated facts. The fact that hussie uses the word,” speak “ implies that this is verbal and then we get to “ornery” which is synonymous with odd, or offbeat. So what Karkat is loud big news but ORNERY, thats not a description typically used for loud.

also notably none of the other trolls introductions have any mention of speaking their quirks verbally,(however sollux does mention his lisp when he looses his teeth. )

So consider this: Karkat is hard of hearing.

To clarify, I’m not saying karkat is deaf, I’m saying karkat may not be able to hear all that well. I’m not going to try and specify what kind of hearing loss he has or exactly how bad his hearing is. However I am going to point out that a few very particular things make more sense.

So back to the word “Ornery”, the deaf and hard of hearing, particularity those born with said disabilities are often described to have an accent, or strange pronunciations that range from unnoticeable to hard to understand depending on how well the person can hear themselves and what all the person can hear from others. I personally have known a lot of hard of hearing people who got hearing aids for school and, I've noticed that some of them got quieter after they got their hearing aids and a few got louder, but without hearing aids these kids tend to compensate in one of two ways :

get louder because they cant hear themselves

get quieter in fear of unknowingly using an “outside voice”

I think Karkat is loud and “ornery” in verbal conversation because he cant hear himself.

when trying to be quiet he holds his breath, at first glance this is just really stupid of him but when you think it through the hard of hearing lens, the only way he knows for sure hes not panting, gasping or otherwise making noise with his breathing is to hold his breath. cant whistle through your teeth if theres no air passing through.

but how did he loose his hearing?

Well I dont think he lost his hearing so much as never really had it in the first place. Hes hard of hearing via heredity. As we all know grubs are the product of combined genetic material prossessed by the mother grub, what we know about how this factors into is lacking but there is some minor evidence that the close bond between the signless and the disciple may have allowed for some stronger variations in their descendants.karkat looks like a carbon copy of signless but has lejions temperament but thats not really tangible proof that he could be hard of hearing like his ancestors mate. The only way to really prove this would be to find some feature on nepeta that the signless had and the disciple didn't.

and huh?

don’t those horns look a little, blunt

might one go so far as to describe them as nubby

at least in comparison to other trolls

like terezi

or kanaya

the only trolls with anywhere near that amount of nub are the sea dwellers, and karkat.

so then lets compare nepetas to the disciples and signlesses and see where she gets that bluntness from

and oh whats that

miss lejion looks like she could impale a bitch on those, so it looks like nepeta got her nub from signless.

so if certain traits from the signless made their way into nepeta, it would only be fair to assume, that karkat could potentially have inherited poor hearing from the disciples deafness.

#karkat vantas #homestuck #disciple #signless #nepeta leijon

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drinkshaming-blog · 7 years

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>Gamzee: Transport eggs.

You illuminate the path ahead of you, unwavering in your light as you gingerly carry a large, padded basket full of eggs towards one of the incubation caverns. Your bare feet pad softly against the rocky ground, dark stone tinted a hundred colors from sweeps of blood and paint running through the crevices. As you walk, you sing to the basket under your breath.

Ahead, the entry you remember is gone, as well as several of the murals that were beside it. You stop and frown. Your memory isn’t that bad, is it?

“Gamzee!” calls a voice from down the tunnel. “Ataki’e!”

You look up and wave in greeting. “Ataki’la, kenna.”

A troll a few sweeps older than you, Datayn, approaches you, carrying an armful of failed eggs. She nods to the wall where the entry should be. “Eylna te hariek’a juni pate, ah, saulo tog’una fabrei ne’gi, tellai.” Her expression darkens momentarily. “Temai’e herum herei te taki’e kureti aue.”

Your eyebrows lift and you study the wall, or rather the unwieldy rubble that makes up the wall. It’s difficult to tell where there’s been a recent collapse because there are so many old collapses-- there’s an old saying that goes hariek’a hennei kala re’ue ni’a, or ‘every wall of the caverns is made of someone’s ruins’. Datayn says eight jades and forty eggs were lost to a collapse three nights ago. You turn your gaze back to Datayn with a soft smile. “Auwae. Malai, malai, kenna.”

She smiles back. “Malai, malai, tellai.”

“Reke’te aue hyeni’el keji keia unelli te orema?”

“Paela taei ke me’ei.”

“Fa’ele key te jyre’kl te haeme’ai saulo taki’e?”

“Ah, raenu keai ke’ea ne’a dayn, melliaku.”

“Ta, auwae. Kelli’a ieneta ue!” You carefully rotate one of the eggs in your basket.

“Ieneta ue,” she echoes, nodding towards the failed eggs in her arms. “Temai’ilee kaki morei, shereya, Gamzee.” She laughs at her own joke and allows you to adjust the rhododendron in her hair before she continues on her path and you alter yours, turning right at the next fork to make your way to another incubation cavern.

As you walk, you check your messages, scrolling through a couple notifications about various projects you’re collaborating on (and sighing softly at your conversations with Tavros and Karkat respectively) until you reach your conversation with your supervisor.

GAMZEE: no worries, motherfucker GAMZEE: youll get a chance to see these legs again sooner or later haha JAREED: |et’s aim for ‘sooner’. GAMZEE: sure thing :o) JAREED: you are hard at work, i assume? GAMZEE: be up and carrying some motherfucking eggs around right now actually JAREED: oh! are you, uh. |uminescent? GAMZEE: yeah haha i lights all up whenever shits dark GAMZEE: helps a brother get around easy JAREED: that’s pretty hot.

Your smile widens. Motherfuck, for all the respect he doesn’t have for you, this thing you’re doing with him feels pretty good.

GAMZEE: you think? JAREED: yeah, the who|e g|owing thing, as we|| as the makeup stuff you wear. JAREED: and you. you are beautifu|. GAMZEE: haha damn thanks GAMZEE: thats all some nice shit to hear from a motherfucker as you GAMZEE: which, here cant make no judgements cause i dont all talk to so many highbloods JAREED: you are the first jade i’ve spoken to as we||. GAMZEE: really? JAREED: yes. i have heard stories about friends of friends who have had… encounters with jades, of course, but it is difficu|t to discern how much of that is pure boasting. JAREED: i think most tro||s want to find out what it’s |ike. GAMZEE: wow GAMZEE: that mean a brother just got lucky or something? JAREED: yeah, i got to see you for myse|f. GAMZEE: all kinds of motherfucking good shit that be haha GAMZEE: this fucker getting to talk at ya such how, shades and looks and everything JAREED: nothing you say makes sense. it’s cute. GAMZEE: haha aight JAREED: it’s because you speak that backwards jade dia|ect, right? it’s very exotic.

Does he think you’re speaking in the mother tongue? Does he think that’s the mother tongue?

GAMZEE: sure GAMZEE: so this all you tryna make a story for ya friends friends to gossip at, if ya catch? JAREED: abso|utely. i want you.

Oh, man. This is obviously intensely objectifying, but fuck it’s nice to be wanted. Why don’t you fall in love with people who fetishize you like Jareed does, again? (Because you would and do choose real, all-consuming, unrequited love over someone fickle who actually wants you any night. Which is a miracle unto itself.)

GAMZEE: thanks :o) JAREED: i’|| try to find an excuse to visit the caverns soon. GAMZEE: oh aight JAREED: is the new diet for the mother grub working out? GAMZEE: yeah shit be going down right as rain yo

You hear singing and see flickering light ahead, and shut off your palmhusk, checking on the eggs instead of paying attention to the new message vibration. Before long, you find yourself cutting through an enormous cavern where rows of jades are hauling on lines and handling levers to move huge vats of genetic material (a job far too delicate for machines- one off-temper unit and the entire gene pool could be poisoned). You walk down one of the lines as they continue to sing, and stop beside one particular troll.

“Yo, Kerede,” you greet him.

The jagged scar on his face twists as he smiles up at you, continuing to haul in time with the song. “Hey, brother. How’s the night treating you?”

“Some fine shit, tellai. You?”

He shrugs as much as he can. “Got stuck hauling, but we having a good time here.” Something catches someone’s attention; they raise their hand and call for the others to stop. The motion pauses and several trolls hurry over to check out whatever’s wrong with the slurry. Kerede steps away from the line; you decaptchalogue a skein of water and hand it to him. “Thanks, man. You going to the festival this week, right?”

“Yeah, motherfucker just heard of all that,” you reply. “Gotta pay respects and shit. Been a while since the last big event, anyway.”

“True, shit’ll be nice.” Kerede carefully pours some water over the back of his neck. “Anyways, I’m near finished with the inseam on that hat for ya’ friend. Probably be done in a night or two, depending how busy I am. Having a nice time with it.” He finishes dousing himself in water and holds out his arms invitingly; you carefully hand your basket to him and stretch.

“Damn, aight. Thanks. Anything a motherfucker can do back at ya?” you ask.

He thinks about that for a moment. “Oh, I been working on some fancy dress for my palemate’s wriggling day in a few perigees here, could use some patterned silk for a shawl kinda thing.”

You nod. It isn’t repayment for his services, that isn’t how things work down here; it’s a way to keep busy, to keep creating, to help a brother. And this sounds like something you’d enjoy in your free time. “What size you thinking? Might need to find some help getting dyes and all.”

“Well-” A call goes up for workers to return to their places. “Shit.” He hands your basket and water skein back to you and repositions himself beside the line. “I’ll message you the details, okay?”

“Sounds good, brother.” You smile at him. “See you.”

He returns your smile and you’re on your way again as the singing starts back up.

Some time later, you see seashells dotting the walls of the tunnel, most broken into a few pieces by centuries of pressure at least. A few jades are carefully digging some of the shells out of the stone. They must be on break. You watch them gently scrape at the insides of the shells, presumably to make sure they’re the type that can be used to make a certain rich fuchsia pigment. One of the trolls calls to you and asks if you’d like some dye from these once it’s been treated. You say yes, definitely, and thank him-- without stopping; you’ve wasted some time already and you don’t want these eggs to cool down too much.

A few minutes later, you’re humming softly to yourself and the eggs when a smaller troll, barely younger than you, falls in step beside you. There’s something strange about the shape of her torso, not distinctly noticeable but undeniably there; she herself was killed in a collapse not too long ago. She’s holding a basket of eggs as well, you notice as she amiably joins in with the words to your song. “Cover your crystal eyes, and let your colors bleed and blend with mine... Making, uh-- motherfuck, forgot the lyrics.”

You laugh. “‘Sup, Ellane?”

“Thirsty as shit,” she replies frankly.

“Mm, I feel ya. Should check in with Ya’alei? Motherfucker might got something to spare,” you suggest. Ellane nods. “Mine best friend got me all fed couple nights ago,” you add, some pride in your tone.

She cocks her head. “Who?”

“Karkat.”

Her eyes widen, a grin playing across her face. “The cute cerulean who was here like last week? He is, so. Oh.”

You give another soft laugh, keeping an eye on your basket. “He’s the only cerulean you ever met, sister.”

“Yeah, but I’ve seen them in movies. He’s motherfucking cute. Have you ever met another cerulean, anyways?”

Shrug affably. “Nah, I ain’t. Got a good point.”

“Was he the one you went out with?” Her gaze traces the colorful shapes on the cavern walls as she moves past them.

“Yeah.” You smile at the memory.

“Sweet messiahs, that must have been so cool. How was that, anyways?”

“Some miracle shit. Brother took me to see some wildflowers and all, we sat around most the night. Hardly wanted to come back.” There’s probably some totally obvious note of disproportionate happiness in your voice.

She quirks an eyebrow. “So are you pale for him or what?”

“Yeah,” you reply simply. The two of you reach the entrance to the incubation cavern and head inside, navigating around clutches of eggs to find an open space. This area is tinged with the sulfurous smell of the hot air channeled up into this chamber from the boiling wells deep below. You step over one of the naturally occurring vents that line the wall of the cavern, feeling its intense heat on your legs-- it reminds you of the sweeps before the game, when you were the youngest troll in the caverns and your relatively diminutive size made you the perfect candidate to lower yourself down into the vents and locate blockages or problems. It reminds you of crawling for what felt like weeks through narrow winding tunnels, sometimes having to press your back and feet against the sides so you didn’t fall, of scraped shoulders and skinned knees and damp clothing, of a parched tongue that painfully juxtaposed the air so humid you thought you’d suffocate, of heat rashes and ambiguous chemical burns, of having to grope your way along the wall through total and inexhaustible darkness.

Motherfuck, you wish you had your bioluminescence then. Maybe you’ll go back down there sometime. You smile and continue to follow Ellane, breaking your trance with “Sorry, what’d you motherfucking say?”

“Does he know?” she repeats.

“Don’t think so,” you say as she sets her basket down and lays a thick cover out in a wide, shallow depression in the cavern floor. “Ain’t trying to make it known, but ain’t tryna hide it neither.”

“Are you gonna make a move?”

“Nope. Motherfucker ain’t any way, like, available for that feelings shit, nor interested in a brother. Just friend shit.” You set down your own basket and start transferring the eggs to the cover.

She examines one of her eggs and then sets it aside with a little sigh. “And you’re happy with that?”

“Sure thing.” You smile down at the eggs. “I love him, ya know, don’t need nothing back. Brother knows I’m there for him, that’s the best I motherfuckin’ need.” You know if he knew how you feel, he’d try to cut ties with you; you know it’s bound to happen sometime. But he’s here for now, and you’re happy with that, and the little pining lump in the center of your chest just reminds you how good you felt when he was yours. And that’s not a bad thing. You squint at the ceiling, trying to fit words together. “It’s, uh. You know, tou’na leiva, for a motherfucker, like takalou na’e hekemai? Reke ali’i jeya fe’all, gaiye pala he works shit out. It all... hennai ali’e ta, last time. Kinda, um, ehuwei te’a. Miracle shit.”

She gives a little nod. “Ah, I got you. Ca’ali te, brother.”

You adjust an egg in the clutch with a laugh. “Yeah, ca’ali te.” Ellane reaches over to you and wipes at what you assume is a spot of smudged paint near your jaw, starting to hum another song. You quickly check your messages again; before Kerede’s recent message about the shawl for his moirail is one from Tavros, which does hurt a little, as fresh wounds tend to do. You smile, at her in thanks and at yourself for being able to help Tavros out as well as you can.

The mineral deposits in the incubation cavern glimmer as you and Ellane make your way out, the light from your bodies reflecting against the crystals, and you take a moment to take in the huge murals that illuminate the walls nearly as much as your bioluminescence does. They bear lines of scripture, depict messiahs and cavern workers and flowering trees and moon cycles, scenes of violence and kindness.

The caverns are beautiful, you think for the hundred thousandth time over the course of your life, all decked out in centuries’ worth of paints and stardust stains in every color imaginable, all full of siblings in their own paints and flowers and stardust singing songs and performing ancient rites and lighting their paths with the radiance of their own bodies. Making inks and baskets and clothes purely for the love of making. No wildflowers could be this vibrant, you think. You work hard, all of you, scraped shoulders and blistered palms and crushed ribs, hands grasping blindly in the dark, purely for the sake of creating something good, and you have. Here, deep beneath the surface of Alternia, is the garden of the sun.

These caverns must have been a lifeless place before the Faith was born-- you can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for your people back when they were really slaves. And without the Faith, they still would be. Without the Faith, you can only imagine that these caverns, here beautiful, the garden of the sun, would be dark and empty.

You like to think that you’re like the caverns.

#prayers #longpost //#slavery //#death //#claustrophobia //#fetishization //#casteism //#more people being attracted to karkat //#blood //#ask to tag //

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thedeadlycatnip-archived · 7 years

Note

ur gonna feed their hearts to your young? lmao i thought you were the stable one in the relationship

:33 im guessing a human sent this, so i forgive you for your ignorance

:33 *ac cracks her knuckles, getting ready to type up a long post and puts it under a cut to stop from clogging dashes, h33h33h33h33*

:33 alright, you have to understand how alternia works. while we may not be there anymore, the impressions of it are still with all of us from there in my timeline

:33 karkat still types in gray and doesnt like people looking him in the eyes because even though none of us are going to hurt him, he still has this inherent fear that hes going to be hurt or even killed for his color

:33 kanaya still f33ls a n33d to tend to the mothergrub and all of the grubs she produces. she actually enjoys this is does it happily, but it was also a role given the jade bloods on alternia. not all of them liked it

:33 even though we arent on alternia, we still grew up with this for six sw33ps of our lives. thats thirt33n human years. thats in our very formative years. that was the norm from our hatching

:33 this also relates to the way we s33 our relationships. even though a lot of people have abandoned the quadrant system, such as the alpha dave from my timeline with karkat (as opposed to the dave i shared a sprite with who was from a doomed timeline offshoot), who are basically in all of the quadrants and yet none of them at the same time

:33 but not all of us can abandon it. and even if we did, its still very useful for defining emotions. and my f33lings for equius are still very pale

:33 theres a strong intamacy betw33n moirails. to a lot of humans, we look more like a red couple than a pale one. were always there for each other. we look out for each other and love the other with all of our blood pusher. there is nothing we wouldnt do for the other

:33 we are also there to protect them, both physically and emotionally. regardless as to if one is “stable” and one is “unstable”, when in reality moirails, both on alternia and beforus, are to balance each other out. they k33p the other grounded

:33 equius always kept me firmly grounded in reality. i may have acted happy, but living alone in the forest with only my lusus wasnt exactly the happiest situation. at times, it was down right depressing, being basically all alone. the only time before the game that i had ever actually met someone in real life was when i nearly died and equius saved my life

:33 i would escape into these fantasies of roleplays, to try and escape myself and my dissatisfaction with myself and my situation. most of my friends just saw me as a cat girl. eridan literally called me a “kitty cat shipper girl” and felt entitled to me because he saved me. only terezi and equius really recognized me as the strong, fierce huntress that i am. i mean, everyone else knew but they didnt really treat me like that. tavros came close, and bless him for it

:33 for equius, back then, was full of anger, and he still is. its not something he can help. he just has fits of violence and n33ds to break things to k33p himself under control, and that was with me. but he wasnt unstable. he was good at k33ping his emotions in check. the only instability he had was his anger. and my instability was in my sense of reality. i knew what was real and what was fake, but i had always preferred fantasy over reality, and he pulled me out of that

:33 things changed after the game. when i was a part of davepetasprite^2, i got more in contact with my aspect. i have next to no powers over it, but i understood it better. and then equius was a part of arquiusprite, and hal acted horribly to him the whole time

:33 we both changed, in different ways, but we still completed each other well. we still k33p each other grounded, just in different ways now. we k33p each other grounded emotionally. we are still very intimate and very pale

:33 why am i explaining all of this to you? because once you understand the relationship better, you can understand the roles better. and a moirail has a lot of roles

:33 our first and foremost priority is to protect our palemate in every sense of the word. physically, mentally, romantically, all of that. neither of us really n33d physical protection as we can handle ourselves, however, if one of us is in a fight, even without the other ever asking, one of us will come running to kick ass

;33 then theres romantically. no matter the quadrant, unless youre without a palemate, you have to go through the moirail before you can take a concupiscent quadrant, those being the red and black quadrants, which is actually the improper term with troll emotions. its really called the flushed and caliginous quadrants, but due to the amount of humans on this site most of us, including myself, use red and black. a moirail is to judge a pawtential quadrant mate to s33 if there is any quality of them that might actually cause them harm. a moirails judgement is absolute and you trust their judgement above your own f33lings

:33 and then theres mentally. whenever our palemate is hurting, we do our best to comfort them and remove the problem causing them the hurt. this can also fit under romantic, but for the most part if a palemate thinks someones gonna hurt their moirail then they wont let them engage emotionally with them. so most of the time, its an outside force thats attacking their moirail

:33 when someone is doing that, you have to make them stop. my comment was directed at people who are intentionally harming him, saying hurtful things. at least, ones that s33m intentional in my eyes. and on alternia when people are intentionally, repeatedly harming your moirail, you get rid of them

:33 to you humans, this may s33m strange. cruel even. but its really not. its protecting the people close to you. they may not be physically hurting equius, but im not stupid. i know that people can be pushed emotionally into dark places and be snuffed out. the best way to stop that from happening is to get rid of them

:33 this was the norm on alternia. hell, where i live its not exactly uncommon either. its much more of a crime here, but it still happens regularly. one of my co workers was hurt horribly by her datemate and one of her friends beat him up so badly he was in the hospital for several w33ks. just like that friend, i will protect equius if i have to. i am not above murder because that is what i learned. that is how i was raised. i killed animals all my life to survive and was taught to do what it took to survive. i will do what it takes to make sure equius survives too

:33 alternian trolls are different from everyone else. we were raised in a very violent society. we were also raised in a place where natural born roles and emotional decisions were the norm. we didnt think with our minds, we thought with our hearts. are reactions were entirely emotional. and i will react emotionally if someone hurts my moirail

:33 full of anger. because i love him with all of my heart. i will do whatever it takes to ensure that he doesnt get hurt again

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blaperile · 4 years

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Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 3 “How Are Your Feelings” (Pages 96 - 118)

Chapter 3: "How Are Your Feelings"

Well, that's a title that reveals even less than Ghostflusters and Clown Logistics. :P

Considering the states everyone is in right now, I'm thinking the most likely option here is a feelings jam between members of the Meat chase crew AKA Dave, Roxy, Karkat, Kanaya (and possibly Jade, depending on if Alternate Calliope lets her go from time to time).

I can't really think of a different adequate party to have a feelings jam, unless Candy Jake's about to jam with Brain Ghost Dirk. :P

Also, "How Are Your Feelings" sounds like a sentence Kanaya might say.

Page 96:

Yes!!!! That definitely looks like it could be the chase ship of our Meat friends.

...Is it just me or does it like a pirate ship straight out of the Felt Mansion? xD

The question is, have Dave and Karkat grown further to each other? Or have they grown further apart like in the Candy timeline?

And how has Kanaya been coping, these 3 years without Rose. :(

And Roxy 3 years without Calliope...

At least everyone's got at least one person on this ship they're relatively close to. Dave with both Karkat and Roxy, Kanaya with Karkat.

And let's find out what Roxy looks like! Assuming they've still got their short haircut.

Page 97:

Ahahaha, it's a gigantic pipe. That's quite a silly ship design IMO.

It's like, the polar opposite of Dirk's ship, haha.

Page 98:

What the hell... that's preposterously dark.

OH BOY THAT TEXT AT THE BOTTOM. HERE COMES THE ALTERNATE CALLIOPE NARRATION.

Page 99:

HOLY MOTHER OF A JUMPSCARE

I think Karkat agrees, pfffahahaha

And hey, Dave's lying next to Karkat in bed! Implying Davekat's still a thing, hurray!

Also, apparently Karkat's now sleeping in a bed instead of in a Recuperacoon, hehe.

I wonder if Calliope has ever let go of Jade during this trip. Maybe not, if she believed it was the only way to shield them from Dirk's narrative control?

I'd find it hilarious if Dave just sleeps throughout this entire exchange.

Page 100:

Ahahaha, okay Dave is awake.

I like how he's not wearing his shades. I mean, he's probably gonna put them on in the next panel or so, but still. A sign that he's also letting Karkat see his regular eyes.

Page 101:

Oh man!!! We're seeing Dave IN SPRITE MODE without his shades on! Truly a day to savour for the rest of our lives. :O

Pfff, Karkat's wearing Dave's God Tier shirt.

And uh... looks like Calliope's alchemized herself a new outfit. Looks a bit like Jade's old Eclectica dress!

Welp, this indeed seems to impyl the normal Jade hasn't surfaced at all the past few years.

Page 102:

...Let's ignore the fact that "Jade" just creepily turned her head around in full 180 degrees, shall we?

Heh, the sentence "sleep is abandoned, coffee sought" reminds me of those sentence structures at the end of Act 4.

Page 103:

There's Roxy! :D

Looks like she let her hair grow again. And she alchemized a hoodie version of her God Tier outfit, hehe. Also, those heart glasses oh my god.

Pfff, just like Karkat's wearing Dave's shirt, Dave's wearing Karkat's shirt.

So, looks like Jade/Calliope has been getting stronger through the years and that her saying stuff and moving around is a relatively new phenomenon.

I guess her power level is slowly getting closer to that of her body from the Candy path?

Oh man, let's hope this coffee is better than that junk on the meteor. :P

Page 105:

Oh okay, Roxy's hair IS a bit different after all. A bit smoother like Dave's!

Heh, okay, so the ship's a bit bigger at least than I would have thought at first. It's good that they've still got multiple places they can hang out separately.

Amazing, Dave's "mom" has become "dad". I love this.

I wonder what's going to happen now that Dave is leaving to go to Kanaya. Are we going to follow him, or will the perspective remain with Calliope at all times?

Page 106:

...Nope! Looks like we're following Dave after all. :P

I like how these look like the cabins from a real boat that you'd expect to sail on water instead of... well, space.

I wonder how the Mother Grub is doing on Meat Earth. Jane's presumably got total control there now, so how is the Troll reproduction thing going? :/

I wonder if there's a Meat Vrissy out there or not.

Page 107:

Eeesh, Kanaya's sitting there alone... in the darkness. That's definitely not like her to be in darkness.

I'm a bit afraid of what her mental health is going to be like... she's been so long without Rose, I hope she hasn't totally isolated herself from her friends.

Is she just staring off into space, wondering where Rose is and how she's doing?

Page 108:

Okay, so she is lighting up, that's good. I'd have been more worried if she really was in complete darkness here.

And in her hair... she's got a rose. Oh man. :(

Yeah, Dave's right. Why does it keep coming back to this, insanely long trips with limited crews.

At least on the meteor they had more distractions. A much bigger facility for one, and all those Dreambubbles they passed through. Now they've got none of that, and an even smaller crew.

No Mayor, no Rose, no Terezi. Only Roxy and a creepy alien possessing the body of one of their best friends.

Page 109:

Huh... I wonder what this story is going to be about. Will it turn out to be something prophetic about something that will happen in the future? Something from an alternate timeline? A real Earth story?

Page 110:

N'aww... poor Kanaya.

The story of a Prince and a Rose... goddammit, that's really not helping right now.

Dave liked calling Kanaya "sis" because of her being his sister-in-law, but if anything maybe in this trip they could actually support each other a bit as if they're really brother and sister. That would be nice.

Page 111:

...There we go! I didn't expect them to actually bring it up.

Honestly, I'm really enjoying this. We never got a lot of interactions between Dave and Kanaya, so it's sweet to see them bond like this.

And don't worry Dave, you won't find Terezi lurking in the vents. That was only in the pre-retcon timeline on the meteor, with Gamzee. :P

Page 112:

D'awww. It's sweet to see that Dave can still make Kanaya laugh despite all that has happened.

Page 113:

Oh, so looks like Roxy's settled on "he" now instead of "they"!

Aha, "title drop"! I knew it, that is just a perfect Kanaya thing to say. xD

Page 114:

Poor Dave. Yeah, it's so strange. He's basically lost all his childhood friends. John's disappeared (and dead but he doesn't know that), Jade's in a coma, and Rose is... well, yeah.

This is so different from the meteor trip, when he at least received a message that John and Jade were doing fine on their Prospitian Battleship. And they had perspective of how long the trip was going to take and a vague idea what they were going to find.

He's really had a rough life when you think about it.

Also, yeah, I'm afraid Meat Earth's not doing well. Knowing what it was like on Candy Earth for Jake, I can't imagine him being any degree of fine right now. :/

Page 116:

HOLY SHIT, so Calliope's also on the ship!!!

I'm relieved to hear that they weren't left all alone on Earth, with just Jane and Jake for company.

Though I definitely didn't expect them to join on this trip, considering how scared they were of their other self. But maybe that's why they don't leave their cabin. :(

I hope Roxy at least visits them enough... The question is, are they still a thing together or not?

And yeah, I hadn't actually thought about it yet how Karkat seems to be the least impacted by all this. He wasn't very close to Rose and hardly knew Dirk, and has no idea Terezi's on the other ship.

Oh, if he only knew what his Candy version got up to.

Pages 117 - 118:

Hehe, Karkat's feeling better on this ship than on Earth, just like Dave.

Oh wow, that was the end of this chapter already.

Good thing Alternate Calliope didn't start monologuing here like Dirk did.

It is noticeable how Dirk reintroduced the narration, while Calliope's leaving it more to the dialogue for now.

Also, I just realized how while Karkat, Dave and Kanaya all opened up a bit about their feelings, Roxy’s keeping mostly quiet for now. He continues being a bit inscrutable.

But I can’t imagine this being very easy for him either. After all, he’s lost his daughter/mom, and he’s without his three childhood friends as well.

#Homestuck #Homestuck^2 #reaction #Alternate Calliope #Karkat Vantas #Dave Strider #Kanaya Maryam #Roxy Lalonde #Calliope

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