#grumpyevangelist

[ragsy]

Please tell me who Puppykicker McGee is

The Tale of Puppykicker McGee is a saga involving bad choices, bad rolls, amputation(s), cannibalism, puppy kicking, and what happens when tabletop RPG players learn that their actions have consequences. Content warning for… all of the things I just listed.

THAT SAID. First, some context.

I run a Monster of the Week game for some friends of mine, set in modern day UP Michigan. For those unfamiliar with MOTW, players work together to hunt monsters, solve mysteries, and uncover conspiracies by means of roleplay and dice rolling. The main difference between MOTW (or other games on the Powered by the Apocalypse TTRPG engine) and D&D is that D&D operates on a binary success system. You roll the die and you either hit the monster or you don't. It's a yes or a no.

MOTW, however, has three possible outcomes for every dice roll: Success, mixed success, and failure. When a roll is successful, your action happens as intended. When you roll a failure, your action not only doesn't work out for you, but it more often than not completely backfires in your face. If you roll to wrestle the monster and you fail, it kicks YOUR ass instead.

But the mixed success…? OOoooohoHOHOhhohoh, the mixed success is what makes me rub my little gamer hands together like an excited raccoon!! The player's action still happens as intended, but there's always a tradeoff. They might have to make a hard choice, or the effect isn't as strong as they needed it to be, or maybe someone else gets caught in the crossfire. It turns a hard "no" into a "no, but" or a "yes, and" and it makes me SO excited.

So you can imagine my joy when player character Madame Irena, Local Psychic (from the Spooky playbook) got a mixed success on her magic roll to lift a 40ft wide concrete slab over her head. The spell didn't last as long as she needed it to, and she lost her grip on the slab. I had her roll to dodge out of the way as it fell. Mixed success again. She gets most of her body out of the way, but the slab lands on her foot and just COMPLETELY obliterates it.

One thing leads to another, she gets rushed to the hospital and has her foot amputated. She's incapacitated for days, but after a daring hospital breakout involving a wheelchair, a Siberian husky, and the world's most put-upon medical intern, she decides she wants to use magic to grow herself a new foot. But that kind of magic in MOTW always has a cost, and it always has risks. For this particular spell, she's gonna need to transmute herself a new foot out of something else's flesh. But let's put a pin in that for a second.

Let's go on a side tangent about the Dogman. This is not Puppykicker McGee, but we ARE getting there, I promise.

So anyway. Player character Tatara (from the Wronged playbook) has been on a revenge quest to kill the Dogman, who is a human vessel possessed by an evil spirit that turns the vessel into a murderous, rage-fueled, man-eating dogmonster whenever they get overwhelmed by strong negative emotions. The Dogman can only transform back into their human form after eating freshly killed human flesh. It also turns out that the current vessel was an NPC on her monster hunting team the whole time! His name is Mark. He did not know he was the Dogman until very recently.

So Tatara, Mark, and player character Pip (from the Crooked playbook) just got back from a harrowing trip through the Backrooms and are all extremely high strung. This is very shortly after Irena went to the hospital.

One thing leads to another, the group gets into an argument, and Mark begins to get angry. Tatara, being the Dogman expert, sees the potential danger and decides to take preventative matters into her own hands. By which I mean a baseball bat to the side of Mark's head.

Dice roll. Failure! Uh oh!!!

Mark catches the bat, turns into the Dogman, and the Dogman goes fucking berserk. Player character Art (from the Monstrous playbook) manages to restrain and contain the Dogman in somebody's basement, but now the party has a problem: they need to turn Dogman back into Mark, but that requires feeding somebody to the Dogman. It also happens that Irena wants to use part of that somebody's body to transmute their flesh into a new foot for herself. The party has ruled out stealing a corpse from the morgue, so in a unanimous decision that would make my freshman ethics professor shit himself, they decide to find the worst person in town and kill him.

Enter: Puppykicker McGee.

Now, anyone who's ever run a TTRPG game knows that sometimes players will get murder in their hearts and there's nothing you can do about it. You can play up the morality angle, you can dangle a treat over their head to guide them elsewhere, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes you just have to play along and invent a guy from scratch who nobody will feel bad about feeding to the Dogman.

Puppykicker McGee hangs outside the local dive bar, harassing customers and kicking puppies. His legal name is actually Puppykicker McGee, but he picked up the puppy kicking thing separately. This is where his character complexity ends. The monster hunting party (minus Irena and Mark) jumps him in an alleyway and knocks him out in the first fully successful rolls in AGES.

But here's the thing: They get cold feet. They decide they don't actually want to kill him, they just want his leg.

At this point, I am NOT prepared to have this guy be a part of the continuing canon of this game. Puppykicker McGee was built to be disposable and I WILL dispose of him. I say yes, that's fine, they can have his leg, but they have to leave the rest of him with the one person they know who will remove the leg for them, and that person is shady as fuck.

Somehow, they're suspicious of this. This group of people who were super duper chill with homicide a few minutes ago are now a little worried of leaving Puppykicker behind with a woman who has a collection of human souls. I tell them tough nuggets, you made your decision. They say "yeah sure that's probably fine actually" and leave with a plastic garbage bag full of Human Leg Meat.

They go back home, feed the thigh to Dogman, and use everything else below the knee to transmute Irena a new foot. Irena is still a little nervous about doing magic since the last time she did it was the whole reason she lost her foot. She's worried that if she fails, she's going to have to just graft the foot onto her own leg. This leads to the single greatest sentence I've ever heard out of context in my life:

"Hey, quick question, how big are Puppykicker McGee's feet?"

#grumpyevangelist #ragsycon exclusive #monster of the week #i'm sure you didn't actually want 1000+ words about what led to the existence of this one bit character #but it's what fell out of my brain and all i can do is scoop it up and slap it on a plate to serve #puppykicker mcgee #askbox

[dragongirltitties]

You have to change your URL right now; what do you change it to?

back to moxperidot

#grumpyevangelist

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req’d by @grumpyevangelist

normal courses of events

text: Go to Silent Hill. Eat a baby! That’s fine.

#calligraphy #shitpost #theshitpostcalligrapher

[tinx-methinks]

Tagged by the wonderful @snarktocrab (thankies~!)

Last song: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS BUT I JUST ADDED THE SAME SONG TO MY PLAYLIST LAST NIGHT! Obey The Groove by No More Kings

Last film: Tucker and Dale vs. Evil! One of my friends wanted me and my S/O to see it so we all watched it together and it was super fun. I liked it a lot. 

Currently reading: Oh gosh. Ok so me and one friend group have a book club so for that I’m reading “The Last List of Miss Judith Kratt” which I’m not lovin’ so far. Then me and another friend are reading through a collection of 50 “great” short stories so I’m about to read “Graven Image” by John O’Hara. Then for my personal reading I’ve just cracked “Wicked Saints” by Emily A. Duncan 

Currently watching: Me and one friend are watching “Gilmore Girls” and just finished S1. Me that friend and my S/O are watching Riverdale together (its bad!) . Me and my S/O are working on Dimension 20′s Crown of Candy and we’re about to watch The Deep End docuseries.  Also I’m determined to start First Kill sometime this weekend. 

Currently obsessing over: Gosh I’m mostly stupidly obsessed over my two ongoing role playing games. In D&D my character just found her long lost twin and in Fate I’m ramping up to a well planned end game for a long arc. 

Tagging: @maiaofmischief @nightlamor @grumpyevangelist and @spellofthesouth  plus anyone else who would like to~! 

#personal #me #tag game

[wizardsisananimal]

How do you keep the number of the day updated it's always the right day. Are YOU a wizards? <|:•O

david lynch actually just lives inside of the quiz and pulls a number out live each time. i've asked if he'd like to come out and he says he's fine in there

#i am wizards tho #grumpyevangelist #wizard mail

[kendertales]

ASK MEME

Tagged by @thesoulforged Rules: tag 9 people whom you’d like to know better Relationship Status: Taken. I’ve been in a relationship for over a year now. Lipstick or Chapstick: Lipstick Last Song I Listened To: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjXUBG15eZ8 Top 3 Shows: Grace and Frankie, Princess Tutu, Steven Universe Top 3 Characters: Raistlin (Dragonlance), Karrin (Dresden Files), Mion (When they Cry) Top 3 Ships: RenNora (RWBY), Puppyshipping (KaiJou Yugioh), China/Skulduggery (Skulduggery Pleasant) I tag: @majerer @maiaofmischief @chaoticdrakon @draconiashion @theblueeyedeagle @hiya-whats-up @grumpyevangelist @theoverlander @nightlamor

#ask meme #personal #thesoulforged #♥

[lilac-lioness]

today was so nice. one of my bestest friends told me im cute this morning (!!!!!!) but also one of my favorite customers ever told me I'm beautiful at least a dozen times for each minute we talked /)/////(\ i just feel so good about myself

#Positivity #Existence of Ceridwyn #Work #GrumpyEvangelist #the customer is exactly who i want to be like when I'm older i don't think you understand the love i have for this woman she's just #so peacefully happy and you can't help but feel that and she spreads it #and her dog is the cutest baby ive ever met #i hope the puppy will be okay spending a month in a kennel ;;; #she loves her little puppy so much its sO PURE i feel like I've met an angel

[anime-scarves]

Top five scarves

Hmm, I don’t have a set of favorite scarves so I’ll how with patterns.

5. Solid color4. Geometric pattern (usually some sort of square or rectangle)3. Stripes2. Plaid1. Checkered or argyle pattern

#text #grumpyevangelist

[ragsy]

Question number 7, for Fishwoman Diane Fishwoman, of course

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

the dolphins. they commit crimes together

[asks to get to know someone better!]

#ragsycon exclusive #ragsymakes #fishwoman diane fishwoman #grumpyevangelist #askbox

[ragsy]

Sketch request? Hell yeah! I don't know the rules for this but uhhhh Liliana Vess from MTG? does that work? If not I'll totally accept a lil' dinosaur. 👍

if i have to choose between two things and one of those things is a dinosaur, the dinosaur ALWAYS wins

#grumpyevangelist #askbox #ragsycon exclusive #ragsymakes

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req’d by @grumpyevangelist

uh. my condolences?

#theshitpostcalligrapher #calligraphy #shitpost #the violin was the only casualty of an avalanche DARDINIUS?

[tinx-methinks]

Tagged by the lovely @maiaofmischief

why’d you choose your url? Tinx has always been my preferred online handle, and the methinks part is a little personal joke referencing my first social media haunt on piczo. 

any side blogs? Just the one. My dragonlance blog @kendertales

how long have you been on tumblr? June of 2012

do you have a queue tag? Nope. My followers drown in my reblogs like men.

why did you start your blog? I had been following several tumblrs of people I was interested in, and having my own blog seemed like the easiest way to make sure I wasn’t missing posts. 

why did you choose your icon? My current icon made me so mad tbh. I got these super cute brand new sunglasses and I took a bunch of selfies on snapchat and I accidentally opened the black and white filter so I took a single picture with it anyways. That picture is what my current icon is. Out of all the pictures I took none of them showed off the sunglasses the way I would like. I think what makes them striking in person is that they are a vivid green that looks purple when the sun hits it. I get tons of compliments on them, but they don’t stun in pictures, but that black and white one of me looks sooooo hot I had to use it somewhere. I like tumblr the most so here it went. 

what’s your post with the most notes? The two with the most are on politics but the one that came to my mind when I saw this was this one https://tinx-methinks.tumblr.com/post/103773571633/listening-to-a-game-ost-and-you-suddenly-get

how many followers do you have? 688 but I’m sure many of them are dead accounts or bots. 

how many people do you follow? 112. @malphense makes fun of me for how rigidly I control my dash. 

have you ever made a shitpost? I wouldn’t say so. Not by the traditional definition of shitpost. A post that’s a bit shit. tho? Certainly. 

how often do you use tumblr? Every single day. I’m pretty near caught up on my dash. 

did you have a funny argument with a blog once? I certainly hope not.

how do you feel about reblog bait? There is just so much on this site it’s exhausting. I’ve been here long enough I feel secure in scrolling past it. 

do you like tag games? Love them. If you’re looking for someone to tag go ahead. Even if we aren’t mutuals. 

which one of your moots do you think is tumblr famous? I don’t know, honestly? I don’t think any of them are super famous. If I had to guess my most popular mutual maybe @madam-melon-meow ?

do you have a crush on one of your moots? Obviously my fiancee @grumpyevangelist

Tagging anyone mentioned above, @caw-oticdork @nightlamor and anyone else who would like to. 

#tag game #personal #about me #tumblr stats

[tinx-methinks]

Pass the happy! When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications! ✨ ( ˘ ³˘)💙

YAY~ Thank you @madam-melon-meow for sending me this, I saw yours earlier (THAT DOG <3) and was hoping one might come my way. 

1. My handsome fiancé @grumpyevangelist 

2. My two kitties Disco and Poppy

3. Books. Just in general. I’ve been reading so much over quarantine and in the friend squad book club that I’ve probably read more than I have the last decade combined this year. 

4. Discord has been also saving my ass this year. As soon as I see something funny or ridiculous it’s going to someone. Been using it for D&D and hanging out with folks during lockdown, and also listening to TMA for the first time and discussing it. Shout out to Luke from California for dealing with the majority of my terrible messages that frankly should’ve gotten me blocked years ago, lol. 

5. Escape the Crate. I’m just super jazzed cause Gregory and I just finished a fun one. We subbed to it instead of doing xmas gifts and it was SO WORTH IT. 

#me #personal #madam-melon-meow #ask #not to mention #mudic otome pokemon video games bored games pie #im truly blessed

[tinx-methinks]

Look at this gorgeous Kirby sets @grumpyevangelist put in my stocking!

#christmas #kirby #kawaii

[tinx-methinks]

Repost

Rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better! I was tagged by the lovely @maiaofmischief Thanks! 

Relationship status: Still together with @grumpyevangelist

Favorite color: Purple and Green

Lipstick or chapstick: Lately I’ve been almost exclusively using Rimmel Provocolips 16hr kissproof lipstick. In “I’ll Call You” usually.

Favorite food: Cheese 

Last song I listened to: VSQ string of Maps (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

Last movie I watched: I’m trying to figure this out and I think it might have been The Tuxedo... With Jackie Chan? And Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Top three favorite shows: How to Get Away With Murder, Teen Titans, Princess Tutu

Top three favorite bands: Rick Astley, The Orion Experience, and the 1975 I linked to my current fav songs for each (and I promise the first one isn’t a rickroll). 

Books I Am Reading: Did a book trade with my mom so I’m reading the first book in The Wheel of Time series, Eye of the World by Robert Jordan. 

I’ll tag the usual suspects. @records-and-stardust @nightlamor @theoverlander @malphense @caw-oticdork and whoever would like to do it~ 

#about me

[tinx-methinks]

Tickling the dead is sexy?

@grumpyevangelist