#he delivers every line well and has motivations all lined up but no one can determine the order just that he's got confidence in it

[merakiui]

Prince Floyd was unexpectedly so sweet. I loved the little glimpses of Prince Jade though!!

Prince Jade is a menace. orz he's always taking advantage of the obvious power dynamic and teasing you in the subtlest of ways, whether that's by innocently asking if you'll tend to him when he wakes up with a hard-on or by making you dress him each morning. He wants you to be the one who runs his baths, who waits outside with his fluffy robe (although he wouldn't mind if you stand inside; he likes chatting with you and occasionally flustering you), who brings him his meals or delivers any news to him. He's always toeing the line of breaking the rules with you, seeing how far he can go just for the fun of it. You're very entertaining, and since you're his maid you can't really deny him his entertainment.

When he makes trips into the city, he insists you ride in the carriage with him while his guards ride in separate carts. You probably made out with him in the carriage. >:) he tells you this will be a little secret between the both of you, so make sure to keep it close to your heart, okay? You learn how to clean up and dress very quickly after spending so much time kissing in shadowed corridors or in carriages with Jade before having to face other servants or royalty. Aaaaa he's so charming and he knows just what to say and do to have you weak in the knees. He keeps his scent hidden as well, so you'll never know what he smells like until he decides to remove the scent blockers when your heat is nearing, just to see what effect it'll have on you.

Every time potential suitors come to the palace to meet with him and Floyd, Jade makes it his mission to fuck you just minutes before he has to meet the nobles who have traveled far and wide. You're certain he does it to be rebellious and to see if anyone will catch on, but oh is it scary to greet all of the powerful aristocrats alongside Prince Jade while knowing that not even five minutes ago the same mouth that speaks pleasantries was all over you, kissing and licking and biting. Jade likes to play dangerous games, and you just so happen to be caught up in one.

But then there are the moments where it feels like his flirtatious teasing is actually more genuinely romantic. Like when he picks the prettiest flower from the gardens and tucks it behind your ear with such a fond smile. Or when he was learning how to cook for himself and he let you taste all of his meals (which contained suspicious ingredients, some leaving you bedridden and others leaving you hot and aching). Or how, even when you were stuck in bed after trying his meals, he'd visit you in secret. Or when his fingers intertwine with yours when you stand beside him and he holds your hand for a brief moment before he's drawing away from you. Or when the next time you think he's going to fuck you roughly he kisses every previous bite and bruise, rutting into you as if this is your first time with him.

You can never understand Jade or his motives, but after spending so much time with him you've come to learn he is just as unpredictable as his brother.

#twisted chit chat #tw: omegaverse #tw: abo #in conclusion i need prince jade carnally orz

[finnpeach]

Dude kneel was my favorite fic on the face of the earth. If you don’t want anything to do with it it totally respect that but I hope someday you’ll rewrite or repost it. I read it so much I nearly had it memorized

Hey do you wanna get married or something? Because this is the best compliment ever and I never stopped thinking about it. Sorry, I know you sent me this months ago but I finally got the motivation to dig through my docs and hit copy and paste. FIND KNEEL BELOW! JUST FOR YOU!

Kneel

Please enjoy my fleabag-inspired Vashwood AU, where Wolfwood is a disillusioned priest with the kink and Vash is a secret angel. Something about having a cold tears down his defences that he’s not just a normal human, and Wolfwood starts to catch on.

The church is remarkably cold today, Wolfwood thinks, as he walks towards the pulpit.  The air has a chilly bite to it and sends a shiver down his spine. He will have to ask Milly to distribute blankets to the parishioners for the next time, lest they start getting complaints.

Fifty pairs of eyes follow him from the pews, holding their stare as the entrance song rings across the stone walls. Nobody is excited to see him delivering the mass today. 

“Father Wolfwood? He’s all right, a bit rough around the edges. He seems dissuaded by the spirit these days. Maybe he needs to go on a religious sabbatical.”

It is true that he has been a bit, well, bored, lately. He delivers the same Mass every Sunday. Receives the same sort of confessionals every day. Baptises the same type of wriggling babies. Attends the same standard of funerals. He has completely lost his motivation, his provocation, for the spirit. Maybe he is in the wrong line of work.

 His black robe sweeps around his ankles. Were it not for the organ and the singing, he would hear it, swish swish swishing beneath him like its own prayer.

The entrance song comes to a close as he places his bible on the pulpit. He prefers his own, rather than the church’s large scripture. He can make notes this way and scribble drawings of a burning bush, or a ridiculously large boat with two of every animal. 

With careless fingers, he opens the bible and clears his throat. His earthy brown eyes lazily scan the crowd, the forthcoming speech stirring in his mind like old bones coming to life. 

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Wolfwood’s voice echoes throughout the church. He opens his palms towards the ceiling, as he always does.

“Amen,” the church replies.

Wolfwood delivers the greeting speech with practised boredom. He wishes something would happen. Please God, if you are even out there, save me from this mundanity.

His tongue forms the final words. “The Lord be with you.”

“And also with you,” comes the echo of the crowd.

“Please be seated.” Wolfwood nearly yawns. He closes his eyes, feigning spiritual enlightenment.

“And also with you.” One singular voice breaks the silence within the church.

Wolfwood’s eyes shoot open. He hadn’t expected his joke of a prayer, to be saved from this mundanity, to be answered so soon. Forty nine other pairs of eyes turn to see who has just spoken up. 

He pinpoints him immediately. Spikey blonde hair. Undercut. His cheeks are pink with embarrassment. His nose, too. Tall, red coat. Glasses. Sheepishly grinning and sitting down to escape everyone’s gaze. 

Also an idiot, apparently.

Wolfwood has never seen him here before. A surprised smile twitches at the corner of his lips, taken aback, the sluggish boredom replaced with renewed vigour. 

He continues with the rest of the sermon, his heart suddenly beating in tandem with the rhythm of his words. Something about this blonde man’s eyes watching him (they’re blue, even from behind the pulpit, Wolfwood can see that they shine like sapphires) lights a fire in him. He has not felt like this since he first started studying scripture.

At some point, towards the end of Mass, he hears someone sniffling. Thick, wet sniffs that punctuate the silence around his speech. This was to be expected, though, considering how cold the church is. Wolfwood is not able to tell who it is until his eyes land, once again, on the blonde stranger. 

He is the one sniffling. His nose is pink, like an English rose, and he keeps rubbing at it. He should just blow his nose and get it all over with. 

Considering the sniffling, it was also only a matter of time until the sneezing commenced.

“...all the glory and honour is yours, forever and ever,” Wolfwood concludes.

“Amen,” the crowd replies.

“H’ihZTSHsHh’UE!” 

The sneeze echoes off the stone walls of the church. Luckily, the organist begins playing, muffling the sound of the next sharp, wet sneeze.

“-- eh’TDhSHhh’ieW!” 

Wolfwood searches the parishioners to see where the sneezes came from. The likeliest suspect is the same spikey, sniffly stranger from earlier, and Wolfwood is correct in his assumption. 

Warm, liquid heat fills his veins like syrup. The man is bent forward in the pew with elbows on his knees. He tends to his dripping nose with a pathetic piece of tissue and looks absolutely miserable. Does he have a cold? Why is Wolfwood’s heart beating so fast, just from looking at him? It is as though he is looking at an angel, something holy, even though the man is just suffering through a cold. Maybe Wolfwood should–

“Father? Wolfwood?” Milly’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. The young woman is standing next to him with the box of wafers and wine in her hand. 

“Are you okay? I’ve been trying to get your attention. We’re ready to start the communion rite.”

“Ah.” Wolfwood shakes his head, hoping it will rid his mind of the man’s pink nose. He needs to focus. “Right. Sorry. Let’s go.”

He takes the box of wafers from her hand, or the body of Christ. How can Christ’s body be in these pathetic little wafers? He should at least be in a 12 ounce wagyu steak, that would be more fitting. Wolfwood thinks. He does not suppose the church could write off wagyu beef for expenses, though.

He stands in front of the pulpit as people begin to line up to receive the body and blood of Christ. Milly pours the wine while Wolfwood hands them the wafers with practised apathy. The Body of Christ, Amen. The Body of Christ, Amen. The Body of Christ–

His indifference is dispelled when the man in the red coat suddenly appears before him. 

Wolfwood swallows. His throat is tight against his priest’s collar. They are probably the same height, yet the blonde appears a little shorter because he’s tucking his chin down slightly. The position allows him to gaze up at Wolfwood with sparkling blue eyes.

“Father,” the man says courteously, his tongue grazing against his bottom lip. It leaves his lips wet, similar to his nose, which, now that Wolfwood is closer, is actually an irritated shade of red. 

Wolfwood ignores the shiver that electrifies his body as he repeats the word like a chant in his head. Father. Father. Father.

“The Body of Christ,” Wolfwood says, his tongue thick in his mouth as he raises the wafer.

“Amen,” the other replies softly, never once breaking eye contact.

He expects the blonde man to hold out his hand and take the wafer, like everyone else has, but instead he drops open his mouth slightly and allows his pink tongue to slide out of his mouth, resting against his pillowy bottom lip.

He continues to gaze up at Wolfwood expectantly.

Gritting his teeth, the priest places the wafer on the tip of the believer’s tongue. He feels like he is buzzing with electricity. The man lifts his tongue, slightly, so slightly, so that it touches the tip of Wolfwood’s finger as he places the wafer.

Shocked, Wolfwood draws his hand back as quickly as one does when they touch a hot stove. The moisture settles into his skin like venom.

Warmth stirs in his abdomen. The man draws his tongue back into his mouth, letting the wafer disintegrate on his tongue. He gives Wolfwood a small smile and a wink. 

Wolfwood cannot seem to break eye contact with the stranger as he exits the line and the next parishioner steps forward. He has to remind himself to look away, to focus on the person in front of him.

He flexes his hand that had been touched by the man’s tongue and ignores the heat bubbling inside him. The priest readies the next wafer.

“The Body of Christ.”

“Amen,” the woman replies and holds out her hand.

***

After the service, Wolfwood walks behind the church to smoke. It is a quiet spot and overlooks the cemetery, and few parishioners tend to bother him back here.

That is, until today.

He lights the cigarette between his lips and leans his head back against the freezing stone wall. He lets his eyes slip shut as he battles with his own detachment for this place. At least it is quiet and peaceful out here– 

“Hi.”

Wolfwood jolts at the sound, his heart ricocheting around his chest like a bullet. To his right is the blonde parishioner with the pink nose, the same from earlier. How did he know about his hiding spot?!

He bites his cigarette and glares at him as he tries to slow the hammering in his chest.

“Fucking hell, you almost gave me a heart attack! Do you just sneak up on everyone like that?!”

“Oh, sorry.” The stranger looks genuinely surprised and apologetic, and maybe a little shocked to hear a priest swearing. He gives Wolfwood a gentle smile, the kind that would make anyone trust him immediately. Wolfwood feels himself grow even more on edge. 

“I thought you heard me coming. I just wanted to say that your service was really great.”

Wolfwood huffs a laugh. “Don’t usually get compliments like that these days. Thanks.”

The man cocks his head to the side and lifts an eyebrow. He looks a bit like a puppy tilting its head.

“Why not?”

“Mmm,” Wolfwoof hums. “It’s not important.” He waves his hand at him, as if to shake away the topic. “Anyway, is this your first time here, blondie?”

The man does not seem bothered by the nickname. In fact, it makes his smile grow.

“Yes, I just moved here. I volunteered a lot at my previous church and wanted to do the same here. I thought I’d come find you to ask about any help you may need.”

Wolfwood snorts. “Really? We usually only get delinquent kids that need community service time comin’ around here to help out.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette and angles the smoke away from the man.

“You got a name?”

“Vash.”

Vash. “Wolfwood. Nice to meet ya.” Wolfwood puts his cigarette between his lips and offers his hand, which Vash kindly refuses, holding his hands up to his chest with his palms facing the priest. 

“Ahh, you probably don’t want to shake hands with me. I have a bit of a cold,” he says, grinning abashedly. “Sorry if my sneezing messed up your sermon today. I didn’t want to get anyone else sick, so I sat in the back.”

Yeah, so Vash could sneeze all over everyone in front of him? He really is a bit of a moron. But Wolfwood is lucky he was not sitting up front, sneezing as he was, otherwise he would have had a boner for the whole church to see. 

“Hm. Are you an angel, or somethin’? Like actually.” Wolfwood tucks his chin forward and looks at him from over the rim of his glasses. This man is far too nice for his own good.

“What do you mean?” Vash has not stopped smiling since they started talking, and his smile has only stretched, as if he is surprised by being called an angel. The question clearly makes him nervous even though Wolfwood was just teasing.

“I mean – you’re sick as hell, and came to Mass just so you could ask about volunteering, and you’re at least considerate about being sick. What’s the catch? You hiding something?”

“N-no! I just like helping my community, thahh…”

Wolfwoof watches as Vash’s hands steeple over his nose, anticipating the inevitable. Fuck, stop staring.

But he cannot. Vash’s pretty blue eyes pinch shut and his golden eyelashes catch in the sun like a flame. His lips draw back over his teeth to reveal sharp canines as his pale hands rise up to tent his nose. 

“H’ahDZSh’hue!-- huh.. h’uhDThSCH’ue!” He stays bent forward for a millisecond, eyes shut, as if expecting another. When a third does not come, he rights himself and looks at Wolfwood again with a sharp sniffle. 

The priest watches as one of Vash’s pink, damp nostrils closes with the sniff but the other does not. Ah, so he’s congested. 

Wolfwood cannot pinpoint it, but the atmosphere seems brighter, lighter, now. He could have sworn he saw a little golden halo of light flash around Vash’s head when he sneezed, but maybe the sun is just playing tricks on him.

Once again, the priest’s collar is tight around his throat as he swallows. He is suddenly grateful for the extra fabric in his robe and he just hopes that it is covering the emerging hard on.

“God bless you.” 

“Snff!.. Thangks.” Vash smiles brightly again, like the blessing has just renewed him. Maybe he is just a religious weirdo. “Might be a while udntil I can volunteer, though.” He laughs a little and Wolfwood swears he hears wind chimes rustle on a nearby tree. Which is odd, because there is not a single breeze in the air. 

“No kidding.” Wolfwood kicks his foot up against the wall of the church. “We don’t have anything going on yet, but we’ll do a winter clothing drive soon. Milly’s setting it up, though, so I’d talk to her.”

“A winter clothing drive… Perfect, I’ll go talk to her about it then. I also wondered—“ Vash steps closer so that they are only a foot apart. Wolfwood’s skin shivers as he comes closer, as if someone has just placed a cold hand on his back. The blonde lowers his voice even though they are alone.

“— is there someone I could talk to? I’ve been… I suppose, going through a difficult time, but—“

Wolfwood holds up his hand to stop him. “We offer confessionals and counselling sessions at specified times, and I’m on break right now.”

“Oh, I’m very sorry—“ His smile breaks for the first time. Did a cloud just cover the sun?

“But—” Wolfwood keeps his hand up but places his fingers down so only his index remains up. “You are welcome by my office at any time. Or in my hiding spot. If you bring a few beers, we can have a proper chat.” 

Vash grins again, and suddenly the cloud passes. Light floods around them like a shining beacon. Wolfwood thinks it must be a coincidence.

“That would be great.”

“No wine coolers. I don’t drink that sissy shit.” Wolfwood puts his cigarette out on the stone wall of the church and pinches the butt between his fingers. Milly has told him off for cursing around the parishioners before, apparently it’s not very “professional”.

“Oh, so you’re a cool, swear-y priest, are you?” Vash’s voice is teasing, light, and airy. Wolfwood could have this back and forth for hours.

“All the best are.” Wolfwood cannot help but grin. Finally, some appreciation around here.

“Thank you, Father. I’ll come by sometime.” Vash gives him a small wave goodbye and walks away.

The last thing Wolfwood sees is the end of his red coat gliding around the corner. Why does he feel so good right now, after just a short conversation with Vash? Something inside him feels light again, as if he could walk on air and watch the world below. 

Father, Father, Father. 

*** 

Vash rounded the corner as calmly as he possibly could, until he was out of sight from Wolfwood. Then he broke out into a sprint and ran far and fast, away from the church and away from anyone who might have seen his drop in disguise. He probably looked quite insane, running in jeans and combat boots and a red coat, and many humans stopped to give him a strange look.

His legs carried him as far as a secluded park. His cold, this silly thing that humans caught and were weakened by, made it difficult for him to catch his breath,

That had been close. Too close, Nai would say, you’re going to compromise your true nature if you keep it up.

And to that, Vash would say, It’s okay! Why does it matter if they find out that we’re angels? Aren’t we supposed to be helping them, anyway? Maybe knowing who we are will help them understand!

Nai would roll his eyes, and he would either leave it at that, or lecture him on how helpless humans were, how exposing their true divinity would ruin the humans, how their entire world could be undone if he so much as stuck a wing out of line.

Deep down, Vash knew his brother was a little bit right, but he was a little bit wrong, too. Wolfwood understood, and he was not helpless.

He had been assigned to this particular priest by Nai. Another priest who’s lost his way, Vash. Just go down there and perform a few miracles and he’ll be back on track.

Most priests were not particularly beautiful, or fun to be around. They were often old, or too serious. But Wolfwood was a different story entirely. He was tall, and very handsome. He had had an interesting childhood, based on the report Nai had given him, and had lived in an orphanage for most of his life. According to his profile, he tends to be blasphemous, unruly, prideful, lazy, and even lustful. Vash, as his assigned angel, would have to set him on the path towards holy righteousness again. 

It seemed he had become disillusioned with religion in the previous years, and needed divine intervention to get back on track. Easy enough. Vash would swoop in there, perform a few miracles, and then leave. It should be simple.

Except, it was not. Vash’s heart had hammered in his chest like a rabbit beneath a hawk’s shadow when he first laid eyes on Wolfwood. The priest’s robe was tight against his chest, the black and white collar wrapped around his throat, and a small silver cross hanging by a silver chain around his neck. 

Despite his immediate attraction for the priest, the visit had still gone (somewhat) according to plan. Wolfwood sensed Vash’s presence and felt the spirit during his service, and as such, the Mass improved. At the end, he had heard snippets of other parishioners gossiping about how much better the service had been, how much more enigmatic Wolfwood had been.

The only hiccup was this cold. He had caught it in the days leading up to his visit with Wolfwood. It is unusual for angels to catch colds, but certainly not unheard of. Being on Earth, surrounded by unholiness and sin, made him more susceptible to illnesses. When Vash woke up the morning of his visit with an ache in his throat and a stuffiness in his sinuses, he was not the least bit surprised.

Now that he’s in the park, he can stretch out a bit. He wanders deeper into the woods until he arrives at a clearing. The hills extend for miles, with trees dotting the perimeter. No one will see, and if they do, he can just fly away.

Vash removes his coat and allows his wings to stretch out, a pleasurable shiver running down his spine as they extend from between his shoulder blades. Ah, much better. 

He lays down in the grass and stares up at the sky. Wolfwood knew he was hiding something. He had even called him an angel. 

The opportunity to think further about it is interrupted by the same spark in his sinuses as earlier. His nose scrunches in retaliation, lips drawing back over his teeth to reveal sharp canines, and he twists to the side.

“H’ddYZSHhue! ‘ihHTSCHhhyiewhh!” The contagious mist catches in the sunlight, a clear testament to how wet the sneezes were. He sniffles pathetically and rubs harshly at his nose with the heel of his hand. 

That had been another thing Vash had noticed about Wolfwood’s lust. He liked this particular bodily sensation, and had paid special attention when Vash did it in the church. How funny, that he likes something so delicate and simple. Vash thinks.

The angel rolls back on his spine and sighs. He feels like he knows so much, yet so little at the same time. 

***

Four days later, and the mundanity of his line of work has returned. Vash has not been seen in the church since the last Mass, and Wolfwood has to admit that he misses his presence. 

This particular priest hates confessionals most of all. He is not interested in hearing about people’s sins, nor does he particularly care to comfort them, but it is sometimes interesting to hear the latest bit of church gossip. For example, when someone with a recognisable voice comes in and confesses they stole something from their neighbour, who also happens to be a church member, and now Wolfwood knows about the old lady thievery drama between Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Downy. Or, when a certain (Mrs. Downy, of course) hardly anonymous churchgoer confesses that she slept with a married man (Mr. Jones), and the wife (Mrs. Jones) doesn’t know. Those days are the most interesting.

He has a feeling, though, that today will be a slow day, full of people who actually want to confess their boring sins and feel better about themselves when he tells them they’re forgiven.

Beside him, the curtain swishes on the other confessional box as someone steps through it. 

It begins. Wolfwood yawns. The confessional sits down.

Wolfwood continues slouching, bored. He tugs on his priest’s collar and hopes this will be done quickly. It only takes the sound of a familiar voice to suddenly make him sit upright and at attention.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

Blondie.

“It has been… um…” Vash trails off, and Wolfwood swears he can see him counting on his fingers through the screened partition. Seriously?

“It has been, um… Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever confessed, actually. So I guess that’s the first sin. But here are my sins.” He sniffles a couple times. Is something bothering his nose? Is he still sick?

Wolfwood’s throat is tight. What could this goody two shoes possibly have to confess about? Did he hug someone too hard and give them a bad back? Did he give some crying child an ice cream, and then that kid turned out to be diabetic?

“I’ve fallen in love. And it’s a bit unconventional.”

Wolfwood rolls his eyes. He gets about a hundred “I’m gay” confessionals every week. And he didn’t have to guess that Vash was, either. 

This is a waste of a confessional. Though, maybe he’ll get some more intel on who Vash is in love with. Wolfwood was really hoping that he was single. Not that he should, though, since his like of work forbids it.

“Well, the Lord loves all his children, regardless of their preferences. Despite what you may have heard.” He leans his head against the wooden wall, aching for a cigarette. He really does not care to reassure people about their sexuality. A hole is a hole. What is even more annoying is the combination of these confessionals and finding out his new love interest is already in love with another. 

Vash gives a small chuckle. “No, no, it’s not that. It’s unconventional because of his… line of work, I suppose.”

Wolfwood pauses. Line of work. “Could you elaborate?”

Vash is quiet for a moment. The silence hangs delicately in the air.

“He’s a priest.”

Something inside Wolfwood shatters like glass.  

Wolfwoof says nothing for an instant. He hears Vash’s congested, snuffly breathing, which has started getting louder. Is he nervous?

“I’m sorry. That was stupid. Forget I said anything.”

Wolfwood stares at the floor ahead of him. 

“Wolfwood? Are you there? Please say something.” His voice cracks, desperate.

Wolfwood closes his eyes and leans his head back. Some sort of feeling takes over him again, filling him with the same magnetic spirituality as it did in Mass when Vash had his eyes on him. He relinquishes himself. 

“Kneel,” he says, softly. He should not be doing this.

“What?”

“Kneel.” He should not be doing this.

Wolfwood waits to hear Vash sink down to the floor before he rises from his seat. He silently slips out of his own side, then stands outside of Vash’s curtain for a beat. His heart hammers in his chest like a drum. Do not open the curtain. Do not open the curtain.

He tugs back the curtain and they meet each other’s gaze. Vash is kneeled on the floor, hands pathetically folded in his lap, eyes wet. His nose is still pink, a sure sign he has not shaken his cold yet. His eyes, fuck, his big blue eyes, look up at him so softly.

Vash staring up at him like this, like he is an answered prayer, makes him feel alive. Perhaps what he is about to do is acceptable in God’s eyes, if Vash is looking at him so religiously.

Wolfwood takes a knee and allows his hand to glide over Vash’s jaw, his thumb resting against the base of his ear. His skin is warm. Vash breathes through his mouth, lips slightly parted. His eyes search Wolfwood’s, darting from his lips, to his eyes, to his hand resting against his face. He looks angelic.

Vash is the first to break the spell, when he sees Wolfwood struggling too. He leans forward and kisses Wolfwood, careful at first, light. Much too cautious for Wolfwood’s taste. A match strikes within the priest at the taste of his lips and he deepens the pressure in turn. 

He pulls Vash to his feet as their lips strike against each other. Pushing and pulling. It is all Wolfwood, at first, on the offence, with Vash pathetically accepting. At the feel of Wolfwood’s hand on his hip, his fingers digging into his skin, he presses forward, parrying each of Wolfwood’s kisses with his own. 

They stop suddenly when Vash presses his hand to Wolfwood’s chest.

“Wait,” he says. He is breathing hard. “I still have a cold.”

“Like I give a fucking shit about that. Come here.” 

Wolfwood is not going to stop now. He steps into the confessional box and closes the curtain behind them, then wraps his hands around the back of Vash’s thighs to pick him up. Vash yelps a bit in surprise but is quickly placated when he finds himself on Wolfwood’s lap, seated in the confessional booth.

“This… Kissing a priest, in a church. Won’t he get mad?” Vash asks between kisses. His hand is warm against Wolfwood’s neck, the other is knotted in his black hair.

“Who?” Shut up and just keep kissing me, he thinks. Vash’s lips taste like golden honey, and each time they drift away, Wolfwood is left wanting more.

“God.”

Wolfwood snickers. “What’re you, his secretary?” 

Something about that causes Vash to pause, and he takes a second to come up with something clever to get Wolfwood off his trail.

“Aren’t you, technically?”

“Touché.” He presses a soft kiss to Vash’s lips. “If you don’t tell on me, I won’t tell on you. It’ll be our little secret.”

Wolfwood is growing harder with Vash in his lap, and the way he keeps pulling away to sniffle and rub at his nose is not helping. He is too far gone to care anymore. Each time he turns his head away, Wolfwood gives him a moment to recover before gripping his fingers in Vash’s blonde hair and tugging him back. He is impatient, restless. It is a combination of breaking his vows as a priest in the holiest place he could possibly break them, and the sensation of Vash sitting atop his cock.

His lips find Wolfwood’s neck and begin making deep, dark bruises above the collar. A gentle moan unwillingly escapes him at the sensation. He does not think it can get much better until Vash’s breath starts to hitch. His breath staggers against Wolfwood’s lips, and he almost mistakes it for pleasure, until Vash is pitching forward against Wolfwood’s shoulder, sneezing right against the collar of his robe.

“Hih’DHhSHHh’YUE!” The mist coats half of Wolfwood’s throat. He grits his teeth to avoid moaning.

“Suhh.. Sorry…” Vash breaths, then– “--eh’IDTSHhhyIEW!” His pink, twitching nose presses against the crook of Wolfwood’s neck again, and Wolfwood swears he saw a halo around his head again.

“What was that?”

“What?” Vash asks, leaning back to wipe at his nose with the side of his index finger.

“That thing you just did. The light. What was it? Where’d it go?”

Vash looks stunned. “I… I don’t–”

The sound of footsteps echoing against the tiled floor of the church causes them both to freeze. Wolfwood clamps his palm over Vash’s mouth, his other hand steadying the other’s lower back.

The other curtain draws back and someone steps in and sits down. Fuck.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

Wolfwood stays silent, lost for words, until Vash pokes him in the ribs.

“Pl-please continue.” Wolfwood’s throat is as dry as sandpaper. Vash watches him like a hawk.

“It has been two years since my last confession. Since then I have lied, cheated on my wife, and…”

Wolfwood feels Vash’s lips part against his palm and his breath hitches. Oh, fuck no. He glares up at Vash and sees his nose twitching against the side of his fingers.

‘Don’t you dare.’ Wolfwood mouths, baring his teeth at him.

Vash shakes his head and pinches his eyes shut. His hands grab onto Wolfwood’s shoulders.

“... I have used drugs, and alcohol, and been blasphemous…”

Jesus, this guy needs to wrap it up. Wolfwood can only focus on Vash right now, the way he feels against his cock, how he so desperately needs to sneeze. 

The man keeps droning on and Wolfwood feels like he is in hell. He presses his hand tighter around Vash’s mouth. If this guy catches them, he is definitely going to lose his job. 

“H’ih…”

‘Blondie!’ Wolfwood mouths, but it is useless. He removes his hand from Vash’s mouth and wraps it around the back of Vash’s head, tugging him forward just as Vash’s chest expands one last time.

“Heh’idZSHhh’yue!” Wolfwood presses Vash’s face against the crook of his neck, but not quickly enough to muffle the first sneeze. They echo around the confession box and the church.

“ih-CHSHhh’ue! ihGKTSHhhIEW!” Each sneeze bursts a mist of successive spray against Wolfwood’s neck. This, he thinks, must be some sort of baptism.

Once Vash has finally stopped sneezing, he rests his forehead against Wolfwood’s shoulder and sniffles thickly, making little congested sounds that do not help their situation.

“Uh… Bless you, Father Wolfwood,” the man says, pausing his confession. Wolfwood is about to open his mouth, deliver the prayer of Absolution and get him out of here, when Vash decides to speak up instead.

“Thank you!” Vash chirps, and his stupid voice is so remarkably different from Wolfwood’s that the man goes silent. If Wolfwood could see the man, he’d imagine that his jaw would be hanging open.

Wolfwood will beat Vash’s ass later, most certainly. For now, he just wraps his hand around Vash’s jaw to shut him up before turning back to the confessionary.

“Apologies, I caught a cold and my voice is going. God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son…”

He finishes the prayer of Absolution and sends the man on his way. When he’s gone, Wolfwood all but kicks Vash out of the confessional booth.

“‘Thank you’?!”

“He blessed me!” Vash rubs his ass as he stands up. Ouch, the church tiles are painful to land on.

“No, he blessed me, you dumbass. You’re lucky he’s only marginally dumber than you so he won’t tell the whole church I was fucking the blonde in the confessional box!”

“I’m sorry, I had to sneeze,” Vash whines as he dusts off his jeans. He stares at Wolfwood with those big, dumb, blue puppy eyes again, and it makes Wolfwood groan and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“I’m going to hell. Get out of my church.” He is too mad to remember the golden ring of light around Vash’s head when he sneezed. He just wants Vash out of here so he can forget this ever happened.

“I’ll be in Mass tomorrow.”

“Oh, no, you are never allowed in here again.” Wolfwood shakes his head at him and points towards the door. 

“Why not?”

“Because–” I’ll fall in love with you, I’ll break my faith, I’ll do worse things to you than just kiss you in a confessional booth. “Because. Just go.”

Vash gives him a parting look, as if he has something he wants to say, but he says nothing. He just nods and sulks out of the church. 

Unfortunately everything seems a bit dimmer once he is gone. Wolfwood sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he walks toward his office, feeling listless again. Somehow, though, he knows deep in his heart that Vash will come back, and they will both make the same mistake all over again.

#my writing #hope that was the right tag for it #ok time to go rewatch fleabag

[caseopened]

PERRY: How did Girard know the right colors? PAUL: They must have come from the original. PERRY: Well, what are you waiting for? PAUL: I'm thinking. I'm trying to put myself in Girard's place. Now, if I wanted to hide a valuable painting, I certainly wouldn't put it in the gallery vault. It's the first place anybody would look for it. You know what I'd do? I'd put it right behind another painting of exactly the same size. One that no one in his right mind would even consider buying. [Paul and Perry check one painting, then another. The second painting reveals the original painting they were looking for.] PERRY: You're right, Paul. There's another canvas underneath.

I love this exchange from TCOT Purple Woman because it shows us exactly how Paul's mind works. He's very analytical in his thought process, turning over every stone until he finds the right puzzle pieces to put together.

He also places himself in the shoes of the people he's investigating; in fact, he says so right from the start! In this example, he puts himself into the mind of an art collector who's trying to hide a valuable painting-- one in which people believed to be lost to time. And in order to put himself in other people's shoes, he's got to know or be exposed to a variety of different people, their motives and mindsets, and how they function. This ties back to Paul knowing just about everyone and the reach of the Paul Drake Detective Agency. Paul is able to think like other people because he's been exposed to all sorts of people from all walks of life in his line of work.

And while he's talking through his thought process for the sake of the show and us, the viewers, I do like that we get to hear him talk it out. Simply speaking aloud is just as much a method of finding the right puzzle pieces to put together as it is to help ease Perry and his impatience/eagerness to get to the results.

Which leads me to this: we clearly get a good example of Perry's impatience here. There's plenty of other examples of this trait, but I do really think that Perry's impatience juxtaposed with Paul's calm demeanor really highlights the way in which they work off each other and help one another. In this scene, Perry wants the results now, but the only way to get results is to think it through. But when Perry has the proverbial blinders on and he's hyper focused on his casework, he can get so absorbed that he's not seeing the full picture. Paul becomes the steady mediator here, balancing out Perry until they're both on more even ground. It's Paul's calm thought process that helps deliver that full picture Perry needs for his case.

And I do think these traits are very much a sign of their professions. As a private investigator, Paul is very accustomed to the long stakeouts, the time it takes to dig up information, and the time it takes to track people and things down. He plays the long game, and he knows how to win it by not getting frustrated or impatient. I also think that Paul's demeanor in general is just very much more calm and relaxed, which is the right traits to have in his line of work.

In Perry's work, he doesn't play the long game that investigative work demands. He's working with the information that he is given while he interprets the law to formulate a case. That law is all in his head, ready to use as needed. And even if he needs to go back to law books or previous cases, all that information is still within his grasp. In investigative work, you have to go find information; it's not just in a law library in the office or within arm's reach.

And this all goes back to having the right people by your side. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but you're only as good as your team. And Paul and Perry are very much a team here. They balance each other out in a way that makes them all the better when working together.

#&. paul headcanons #&. perry headcanons #paul drake #perry mason

[arielavader]

Alright.... I have 8.5 chapters out of 20/21 written for my next Good Onens Humans AU fic, and small parts of 2 other chapters that are less than half of each of those chapters.

The first two chapters have been edited to death.

So, do I start posting to motivate myself to write faster or should I have more done before I start posting?

It is all outlined. I'd be posting 1 or 2x per week, though chapters 5 and 6 are the ones only partially completed, otherwise I have up to chapter 10 written but not edited.

What to do, what to do...

A small bit for WIP Wednesday? Click the Read More if interested...

Crowley is the Crown Prince and Aziraphale is his army's General who has been wounded:

He returned to Aziraphale an hour later. “Are your orders ready?”

“Yes, my prince. They await only you to deliver them. You will need to leave soon if you plan to be back before nightfall.”

“Bentley is fast.” One thing his father had been able to teach him that he was good at: horse riding. Bentley had nearly broken the horsemaster, but Crowley had taken her and tamed her in his own way and they had become quite the pair. She was fast, and Crowley handled her well.

“Someone should go with you, to watch your back, Your Highness."

“Wish it was you, General, but I'll be fine and faster alone."

“Come back...."

“I will, I swear. Now, who am I to give these missives to?"

“Give them all to Sergeant Shadwell. He is a bit past his prime, but still eager and has command of some of the younger troops that tend to the logistics. He will make sure they end up in the right hands.”

“I can do that." He brought his fist to his heart. “For Averus."

Aziraphale smiled. "Stay alive.”

"You too. I need you to get through this. The army needs their General.”

"I will do my best.”

With a nod, Crowley left Aziraphale and headed to his rooms. There he donned a riding outfit of pure black to better blend in with his surroundings in the approaching darkness and grabbed his riding cloak. Then he headed for the stables.

"My lord?” The stable hand, a young woman who went by Pepper, asked when she saw him approaching.

"Glad it's you. I need Bentley and she likes you."

“Of course she does. I'm not afraid of her."

“And you shouldn't be. Can you get her fitted and saddled while I grab a few supplies?"

“On it, I'll bring her out in a few minutes."

Crowley went about gathering the supplies he'd need for a quick journey, he grabbed water skins for both himself and Bentley and filled them from the trough nearby. He already had his saddlebag packed with an extra cloak and gloves and Aziraphale’s letters. He added apples until the bag was full and tied it up.

A moment later, Pepper brought Bentley to him, saddled and ready. The dirty mare shook her head at him and Crowley grabbed a sugar cube for her. Bentley licked at it for a moment before she threw her head back.

“Think she's ready to get on with it, Crowley."

“Indeed. Guess I'll be on my way then."

Crowley mounted and Pepper removed Bentley’s lead rope once he was seated. "She hasn't been out for a bit, so she'll run well for you.”

When Crowley glanced down at the girl, she shrugged.

"I had other duties. One of the mares went into labor early, but she and her new foal are doing well. And poor Bentley, you know the boys won't go near her.” Pepper sighed and rolled her eyes.

Crowley smothered a laugh and shook his head before he waved off. He kept Bentley to a slow walk the rest of the way out of the stables, trotting her to the gate. And waving his way past the line guard. Since the war started the palace guard had been drastically reduced as they all came from the standing army. Currently there was a rotation of eight, three to watch the perimeter and one at the gate, switching off every twelve hours. There was no need for more. If a large group from Allium attacked the palace directly somehow they would surrender. Holding back men and women who were capable warriors to defend the palace was not a useful strategy.

#good omens #fan fiction #wip wednesday

[anticipatingevaporation]

Everything Everywhere All At Once - And why it works so well

I am so glad that the movie I was most excited to watch this Oscar season delivered on those expectations.

I find myself quite glad that this Oscar season seems to have a really diverse line-up of films nominated for best picture. From blockbuster to drama to indie films, almost every genre seems to be covered.

But there is one movie on the list that is somehow all of these genres. And that is Everything Everywhere all at Once. 

I knew little about this film going in, only that it stars Michelle Yeoh, seems to have a lot of action, and was directed by the guys who made the “Turn Down for What?” music video. That last little nugget of info really explained the madness behind this movie. If you’ve seen that music video, you’ll know it is absolute chaos. But there is something somewhat satisfying and entertaining in that chaos. It feels like chaos that you can’t help but keep watching.

And that is exactly how I felt about this movie.

Everything Everywhere All At Once really manages to live up to the title. The film is pure mayhem, there is so much going on at any given moment. And yet I never got lost. I kept waiting for the moment the film would get too insane or lose all kind of narrative sense, but it never came. It kept me hooked throughout.

Like I mentioned earlier, this movie perfectly balances a number of genres: action, comedy, romance and drama, all wrapped within a seemingly insane story involving multiple universes. The movie somehow balances and executes each of these elements flawlessly.

The action is impeccably choreographed and performed, legend of the genre Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan both sold every sequence, and directors the Daniels found a way to keep each one unique and fresh, with an entertaining spin every time.

Oftentimes with genre films such as these, you’ll find that one aspect is stronger than the other, perhaps the story drags but the action is great, or vice versa. What I love about this movie is that every part of it complements the other so well. There are real, personal stories hidden within this crazy movie. Every character has motivations, tragedies they carry with them that they must deal with. It is, like many great films, about love and family, and those unrecognised dreams we all have. 

But what is so great about EEAAO is that the genre elements only serve to enhance the emotional moments of the film. Only by having infinite multiverses displayed can we truly understand our characters, only by having insane action sequences can their wants and needs be truly displayed. The Daniels aren’t afraid to let their audience go from laughter to tears within a single moment, and they have figured out that perfect balance where the two only serve the other, rather than detract.

This is most certainly a movie that I enjoy and appreciate the more I think about it. The first thought I had as the credits rolled was, I have never seen anything like this. This isn’t a movie that will leave you quickly. Even if you don’t love it, it will most certainly make you think, I guarantee you will see things you have never seen before.

Michelle Yeoh really gave an incredible performance here, aside from having to balance so many different versions of herself and keeping the narrative straight, she displays a believable transformation in her character that is gradual but also believable. I truly hope she gets her dues and wins best actress this year. She more than deserves it.

I had no clue who Ke Huy Quan was before watching this movie, but oh man is he just an incredible actor. He at once masters comedy, romance and action, while also being the emotional centre of the film. I couldn’t help but adore his character and want to protect him at all costs! Quan seems to be the frontrunner for Best Supporting Actor this year and I couldn’t imagine a more deserving actor or performance.

Finally, Stephanie Hsu. Only on repeat viewing of this film can I truly appreciate what she has done here. She brings an incredible charisma and spunk to this film, while instantly being empathetic. You manage to be scared of and sad for her at the same time. She committed 1000% to this role and I am so glad she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress. I can’t wait to see more of her.

Finally, Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, aka the Daniels, deserve ALL the flowers they are getting for this film. While EEAAO seems to be show of madness and chaotic energy, it is in fact an exercise in restraint. It takes masterful directors and writers to make a movie like this work as well as it does. The directing duo managed to unleash their bizarre brand of storytelling on the world without overindulging. Everything done here is within reason, it all serves the narrative in some way. So while this movie may hypothesize that nothing matters, when it came to filmmaking, everything really did matter. I applaud their creative vision and commitment to delivering it to the world. It really is brilliant stuff, I am most definitely putting their previous film, Swiss Army Man on my watchlist, and keen to see what they next bestow upon us.

Aside from having a damn good title, Everything Everywhere All at Once managed to do everything, without ever doing too much, and Everyone should really give it a watch.

(apologies for puns)

#Everything Everywhere All at Once #Oscars23 #Oscars #My Review

[i-am-beckyu]

jornos so far has been so fun !! a lot of the more chill borrower fics have died down and people have branched off to really cool unique fics since all of the mundane aus are taken so this is suuuuch a step into like 2021 territory i love jornos with my entire heart <33 also your writing is SO found family i can TELL you've read sbi fics lmaoo /vpos

plus fr you're the only one who's had me appreciate angelduo as much as i do now among all of the fics i've read, so,, JOB WELL DONE! :D

also i know a fic is good when i start screenshotting my favorite lines LMAO i always do that xcnvcxvjews but frrrr you've done such a good job so far and i am sooo hype for what's to come !!

*whispers* bedrockbroooooooos >:33

LOVE YOU BECKYU!!! AND YOUR LITOL AU PEOPLE TOO !!!

— brick

Brick, you're gonna make me cry qwp

YOU ARE LITERALLY ONE OF THE BIGGEST JORNOS SUPPORTERS AND HAVE BEEN BEFORE IT EVEN CAME OUT AND I JUST LOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS AND REREADING THEM AND JUST AHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AMAZING AND SUPPORTIVE OF MY STORY

you know how much jornos is my baby so every comment is just fueling the writing motivation

and you know me so well <3 I am an sbi lover through and through and I am fairly certain I read a found family fic almost everyday lol

I did? I made you appreciate angelduo? 🥹The number of comments I've gotten about how well I've written Phil is amazing to me and so relieving because I wasn't 100% sure I did it right. But the number of responses I've gotten on it is so amazing so I'm really happy I could deliver his character to such high expectations <3

OMG WHAT LINES? WHAT LINES GOT YOU??? I NEED TO KNOW!!!! I have a few fav lines from this chapter. My fav is easily Wilbur's pretentious shoes. (I find it so hilarious lol) and and the whole Don't come in lines and the build up are just MMMM I CAN'T EXPLAIN MY LOVE!!! And then the "Hey mate" line while tommy is having an internal crisis again is just: AHHHHHH!!! PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAV LINES!!

And yesssss we'll get to bedrock bros. That is probs going to be the chapter I spend the longest on (as long as it doesn't get another rewrite :/) Their duo is probably the hardest for me because I really want to deliver techno's character right because I know how much he means to me and everyone else. So going to take my time in getting it right <3

MMM I LOVE YOU SO FREAKIN MUCH BRICK!!!/P ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#brick my beloved <3 #beckyu answers #just out of reach but never out of sight au #AHHHHHHH YOU'RE THE BEST BRICK FR FR #I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND JUST AHH I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF WORDS ANYMORE!

[ben-talks-art]

Hot Take, Deku vs Shoto is the highest point of My Hero Academia

At least in my opinion...

My Hero Academia has honestly quite a lot of moments that could be considered as "highest points." It has the battle with Stain, the rematch of Deku and Bakugou, the "United States of SMASH!", Deku at 100% vs Overhaul, and others... But when it comes to the closest thing to a perfect balance of emotion + some really solid writing, in my eyes, I don't think anything ever topped the fight of Midorya vs Todoroki.

The thing that brings this moment to such high standards for me is that this is the series' best showcase of really strong motivations clashing with each other.

Motivation is the defining trait that sells me on a character, and my favorite aspect of a story is seeing how a character's motivations are portrayed through their actions and behaviors.

Shoto's motivation is that he wants to prove to his father that he can achieve success in life without his help solely because he developed a hatred towards him after the way the man treated both him and his mother.

Meanwhile, Deku hears this story and starts feeling insulted by Shoto's mentality, as if he was saying that he was going to achieve success with an arm behind his back while everyone else is using both arms, both legs, and everything else they have to win and still weren't even coming close to the amount of success he had.

You can especially see this in the way Deku needs to constantly break every part of his body just to stand on the same ground as Shoto, and yet Shoto claims he will win using just half of his power.

It feels like that Invincible meme, "Look what you need to mimic a fraction of my power!"

Shoto is trying so hard to obtain victory that he doesn't even realize how arrogant he sounds, and how disrespectful he is being towards everyone's efforts. Imagine giving 100% in a fight and still losing to a dude that just gave 50%.

But what is so good about this is that you still get where Shoto is coming from. You see how his anger completely blinded him to the world around him and made his father turn into his obsession.

That's the wonderful tragedy of Shoto at the time, he wants to prove so bad he doesn't need his dad that he indirectly turned his dad into the center of his universe. His entire existence revolves around the man he hates the most.

So while Deku is fighting with Shoto, Shoto is in truth fighting with his father. And everything is portrayed so well!

Deku's frustration, Shoto's obsession, the shadow his father cast on him and how it continues to haunt him, the complete disrespect of all the other players, everything is shown through just the right amount of very simple words.

And all that continues to build up to a great climax where after constantly getting pushed by Deku, Shoto finally decides to stop looking at the man that tainted his past and instead looked at the boy that's right in front of him.

As he himself puts it, he forgets about his father and just accepts to use the power he gained from him to fight at 100% just like everyone else... And most shocking of all, he ends up winning!

This fight just has so many great themes.

How sometimes the way you keep holding onto your hate towards someone ends up making them become a bigger part of you than you wish they were.

How Sometimes just being happy and moving on is the best revenge.

How when you keep your eyes focused only on the thing you think you want you end up closing your eyes to the things you actually need.

How one simple small action can reflect negatively on multiple people, like choosing to fight with a handicap while everyone is fighting and giving everything they have.

How using just the right amount of words can deliver a much bigger message. In particular, I freaking love the line "I forgot about you."

And then we have Deku who, honestly could probably have won the fight if just kept his mouth shut and continued to fight Shoto while using only half his full power, but in that moment he choose defending his ideals of helping someone in need and self-respect of not wanting to be looked down upon over the actual victory, and that's very admirable.

This is such a short and simple fight but there is such much weight inside of it, all because you get where both of them are coming from. These two have just perfect motivations and seeing them clash highlights everything about it that makes them so interesting.

Like, without wanting to dunk too much on other people's favorite moments, I never got what's so interesting about the motivation of All For One and All Might during their fight. One wants to create chaos and get revenge and the other wants to protect people. They're good motivations, but to me, they're not really that complex or interesting. I was invested because I like All Might and want to see him win... But I never felt there was much to talk about when it comes to their rivalry.

Or Deku vs Overhaul. It definitely has emotion because you care about protecting the little girl that has been imprisoned her whole life and you want to see the guy that hurt her get trashed... But I don't even remember what Overhaul's motivation was... He was just some guy I wanted to see getting punched.

Honestly, the closest I ever got to a really strong clashing of interests was Deku vs Gentle. Their fight itself wasn't anything out of this world but I at least was invested in why both of them wanted to win, I could buy their motivations, and I could see how much they wanted to beat the other.

I just feel that My Hero never managed to reach the same level of quality as Deku vs Shoto. Again, to me, that was the closest thing to a perfect balance of clever writing + emotional investment.

It felt to me like it had the best themes, the most emotion, some really solid messages, and just portrayed both combating sides as equally relevant in a way no other scene after managed to achieve.

This to me is the highest point of My Hero Academia.

#my hero acedamia #boku no hero manga #deku vs shoto #deku vs todoroki

[twistedtummies2]

Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary - Number 10

Welcome to Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary! Over the course of May, I will be counting down My Top 31 Favorite Performances by my favorite actor, the late, great Sir Christopher Lee, in honor of his 100th Birthday. Although this fine actor left us a few years ago, his legacy endures, and this countdown is a tribute to said legacy! We have reached my Top 10 for my favorite pieces of work from this fine gentleman. Today’s Subject, My 10th Favorite Christopher Lee Performance: Ansem the Wise, from Kingdom Hearts.

I can sum this entry up in a single statement: I love Kingdom Hearts, and I love Christopher Lee, therefore, I love this character. Case closed. (pauses) You guys want me to say more, don’t you? Sigh…very well. I will attempt to go more in depth, regarding why I love this one. In the first KH game, Ansem the Wise was the name of a mysterious scientist, who apparently discovered the powers and presence of the Heartless. In the final act of the game, we fought a mysterious figure who called himself by the same name…but it was later revealed this character wasn’t Ansem at all, but rather the Heartless of another character: Xehanort, the main villain of the franchise. In “Chain of Memories,” we were introduced to a mysterious masked figured known as “DiZ.” (His name was an acronym for “Darkness in Zero.”) DiZ was a neutral character: not a heroic figure, by any means, but he didn’t seem especially villainous, either. His motives, identity, and agenda were all a total mystery until “Kingdom Hearts II,” and it was in KHII that we found out the truth: “DiZ” was none other than the REAL Ansem, who had put himself into a state of self-imposed exile from his homeworld in disgrace, and was striving to find a way to help bring balance back to the universe. It was in KHII where Ansem was not only given a face, but also a voice, and Lee was the man chosen for that voice. Admittedly, it’s kind of funny that Ansem makes my Top 10, because he’s not likely a role Lee particularly WANTED to be remembered for. According to one anecdote, when Lee was hired to play Ansem, he evidently walked into the recording studio and said (I might be paraphrasing slightly), “Look, I don’t know what any of this rubbish is, but you’re paying me and it seems interesting, if nothing else. So I’m just going to read this from top to bottom and we’re done here.” Every single line was apparently done in a single take, which some may see as a lazy actor just throwing out a performance. You forget, dearest readers, this “lazy actor” was CHRISTOPHER FREAKING LEE. And as I said when I started this list, Lee NEVER phoned in ANYTHING. Whether this anecdote is true or not, you would never guess it from the power Lee has in the role, and the range of emotions and tactics he goes through in each line. He runs the gamut from a mysterious, menacing, seemingly unhinged figure to a weary old man who tries to use his last breath to finally make up for mistakes in his past. His ultimate downfall is, in my opinion, one of the most tragic in all the games, and the character is a memorable one long after his disappearance from the story. 

Given the fact that KH is…well…let’s be honest, one of the WEIRDEST things in the world, when you really think about it, you can’t blame Lee for being confused…but give him points: you would never guess he WAS confused. He puts just the right amount of conviction and effort into his work for you to take him totally seriously. And in a game series where Mickey Mouse has to fight people like a rodent Yoda, dressed in an edgy black leather coat? I think it’s safe to say conviction and effort are DEFINITELY requisites to taking any of this nonsense remotely seriously. Whatever Lee thought of this product in the end, he delivered it in style, and I, for one, am eternally grateful for that. Tomorrow, the countdown continues, as I present my choice for Number 9!

#christopher lee #sinister centenary #happy birthday christopher lee #top 31 christopher lee performances #may special #number 10 #top 10 #kingdom hearts #kh #chain of memories #kh2 #kingdom hearts 2 #diz #ansem #ansem the wise #disney #square enix

[space-blue]

Kenobi thoughts.

It's okay. It's not bad, but it's not great. I'm not sure if it'll end up being good, but it errs dangerously close to being boring and forgettable, right now.

More thought bellow the cut for spoilers.

Why is SW so obsessed with everything being for 6 to 12 year olds?

Why are every bad guy cringe and incompetent? Run into branches and do lame parkour?

Why is the cameraman making Reva pov of grabbing a pipe, cutting in the middle of her assassin creeds backflip to go to a dog-like move? Why is there a minute long cut of Obi-Wan and Leia goofing around while she's doing the cringe parkouring, killing any sense of a chase or momentum?

Why is everyone dressed in sheets and cheap tasteless costumes? I'm not usually one to nitpick costuming, but I'm also not usually one to *notice* it. Grab a tan sheet!! It's trendy!

What about internal consistency?

"the jedi failed you!" Reva says to the people of Tatooine. I beg your pardon? The planet never left Hutt possession. The Jedi were a tool of the Republic. They only came around to scam you and slaughter the locals.

There is so much tell with no show. The grand inquisitor monologues about hunting Jedi to people terrified of him, because as per usual Tatooine is treated not like a remote planet, but the poor neighborhood in a small galactic city.

Why would these people know what inquisitors are? Why would they care about Jedi? And if they know, and care, then why do you feel the need to monologue at them?

Why won't you *show us* that Tatooine is a backwater shit show? Why not open with the inquisitors crashing a slave auction? Why wouldn't the people tell the arrogant goth newcomers to piss off their lawn, only to be cut down? SHOW US dammit. Monologuing to a crowd doesn't count!

Also, if Obi-Wan knows that Vader = Anakin just from hearing the name... erm... how come a stinky little Mos Eisley pub owner can know about inquisitors, but Obi-Wan somehow never heard about *Vader* before? It's been 10 years! Bail works in the Senate, and he came IN PERSON to see you, how is Vader not discussed???

As for Leia, the actress does a great job for being this young. She delivers her lines very well, and she has some really sick burns. Fun! But WHY was she written to go from 14/10 logic to 2/10 just for plot convenience?

She can shame an adult with her sharp words and flawless logic, but when thinking "they kidnapped me to bait you out", her conclusion isn't "he must really be a Jedi then" but "I should totally run under live fire and make this impossible jump there's no way I can land."

Why? And why does Obi-Wan, a grown ass man who raised Anakin and co-raised Ahsoka, somehow fail to catch a 10 yo waddling next to him? Why cut your show the way you did, if you want to make her trotting away realistic?

Why did using the Force look like shitting a brick? Since when does one get so rusty it hurts? Why couldn't they show an emotional/psychological toll, from being instantly outed to all the inquisitors, instead of making it look like he was pulling a tendon flexing a shriveled muscle?

Bail Organa, how easy is it to get into your backyard? Why are the villains all Looney Tunes levels?

It wasn't bad! But it was... Not great. Not riveting. Not breath taking.

Worse, it felt like a short story. Done. I got what the trailer advertised. A Kenobi adventure. I have NO idea what next episode will have, but not in a fun, speculative way. Not "what's next on this journey?" More "Whatever the fuck is this show about then?"

If I weren't a clown platinum member of this circus fandom, IDK if I'd be motivated to come back for more?

Severance had me more edge of my seat than this, two episodes in, and it's about dystopian office work. Like—

Sigh. I'll keep watching. Who knows, it might go towards *good*, but right now it's just watchable. Nothing as bad as BoBF was even 2 episodes in but...

WHO THE FUCK IS SO INTO LAME PARKOUR AT DISNEY??? Can we get them off of this cringe trend? The director of photography CLEARLY doesn't know how to handle it. Just stop!

On the positive side, it was nice to see Breha and Bail... Leia's actress is great... Ewan is handsome, so is Owen. That Clone trooper didn't get the time he deserved and I hope he/others will show up again. Everyone tried their best.... The jawa was cute. Obi calling Leia his daughter was cute.... That's it. Ah, and Order 66 was great again as usual.

Here's to hopping nobody steps on a rake or runs into a fake tunnel next week.

#sw #star wars #kenobi #kenobi show #obi wan kenobi #spoilers #kenobi spoilers

[abiyatno]

Divorce Denny Ja’s elected work quality: Torch continues to turn on

In the world of Indonesian literature, Denny Ja is known as one of the productive and influential writers. His work has inspired many readers, inviting them to explore and get to know more about Indonesian life and culture. One of his latest works that attract attention is the 36th essay poem entitled Torch Continue to turn on. In this article, we will explore the quality of this interesting Denny JA selected work.    Denny JA has long been known as a writer who has expertise in presenting stories that are inspiring and captivating the reader. In the torch essay poem continues to turn on, Denny JA succeeded in presenting a story that tells about the struggle and enthusiasm to move forward in dealing with all obstacles.    One of the main strengths of this work is the use of beautiful and flowing language. Denny Ja is able to describe the atmosphere and character in great detail, so that the reader can feel and be fully involved in the story delivered. The use of the right words and deep descriptions makes the reader feel like he is in the middle of the ongoing event.    In the torch continues to turn on, Denny Ja also succeeded in presenting various themes that are relevant to the current life. He discusses the power of enthusiasm and determination that can overcome all obstacles, as well as the importance of maintaining the fire of enthusiasm in order to remain burning in facing the challenges of life. Through interesting and full of inspirational stories, Denny Ja invites the reader not to give up in the face of difficulties and keep struggling to achieve their dreams.    In addition, a good narrative structure is also one of the advantages of this work. Denny Ja divides the story into several well organized parts, so that readers can follow the story line easily and have a better understanding of the message to be conveyed. The use of section titles and lists also help readers to navigate through articles smoothly.    In this essay poem, Denny Ja also shows his expertise in describing characters in depth. Every character in this story has a unique background, motivation, and conflict, thus helping readers to better understand and connect with the story they are reading. The diversity of characters also enriches this story and gives a different perspective on the theme raised.    In conclusion, Denny Ja’s 36 chosen work entitled Torch continues to turn on is a work that is stunning and full of inspiration. Denny Ja succeeded in presenting a story that arouses and lure the reader through the use of beautiful and flowing language, a depiction of relevant themes, and a good narrative structure. In this work, Denny Ja invites readers not to give up in the face of difficulties and continue to struggle to achieve their dreams. The torch continues to turn on is evidence of the greatness of Denny Ja as a writer who can present high -quality works in Indonesian literature.

Check more: Dive into the quality of selected by Denny JA 36: The torch continues to turn on

[konjugaltdien]

I've just finished reading Everyone in my family has killed someone by Benjamin Stevenson and I have Opinions.

Summary: Ernie Cunningham, a sort of how to writer for crime books, has to attend a weekend with his estranged family in a remote ski resort. As the title suggests, people die and it's up to Ernie and a select few from his family to work out who the killer is.

What made me buy it?

I was in dire need of reading ANYTHING in English when I moved to Prague and was willing to buy whatever sparked my interest - the summary seemed good enough for a light read and I can never say no to a crime book (or, honestly, any xd) so this was my First Official Book Purchase at my new country. ♥️ It'll forever hold a special place in my heart.

How was the mystery?

Honestly? So-so. It had a good enough start, the narrator, Ernie, is exceptionally likeable, but... It sort of felt like the author had the big picture all right in his head, however, he couldn't really express it on the pages. I constantly felt like I was missing some puzzle pieces of the mystery even though Ernie narrated things as precisely as he could. I loved how the book was built around the Knoxian Ten Commandments of Mystery Fiction and that it never really took itself very, very seriously. The solution to the mystery was genuinely enjoyable and, actually, made sense, which is a rarity nowadays 😅 Nonetheless, as stated before, some pieces felt rather vague and they didn't really fit together for me. A considerable effort was put into really scattering evidence all through the narration and I must give kudos for that, and the killer's identity and motive was plausible, as well as a great freshness in the overall mystery fiction genre. :) Even though it won't become my favourite, I'll definitely remember this one for a while.

How were the characters?

Likeable! Ernie, the protagonist, was surprisingly relatable in his approach to his unhinged family. Never in a million years would I have expected this book to deliver realistic solutions to realistic problems (why Ernie and his ex-wife split up and the way they dealt with that throughout the book) and actual, more or less, heartfelt conversations. The humour takes a while to get used to - it's slightly overdone in the beginning and from the middle, it's slightly underdone (or maybe I just got used to seeing jokes every three sentences. Xd) but it's closely connected to the fourth wall breaking that's prevalent all through the story and it's masterfully done!

What about the end?

I'm so mad about that. 😭

[Spoilers regarding the outcome of a relationship]

I was so happy to finally see a whodunnit without unnecessary romantic relationships! What's even more interesting, I was so happy to see a couple, Ernie and his ex-wife Erin, who made sense, I was actually rooting for them! And the author had the audacity to make Juliette and Ernie official in the last two lines of the book?? Why. Why.

Overall remarks

I recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of Agatha Christie and/or any mystery fiction and I especially recommend it to those who are looking for something that's a good 'bridge' into this genre - look no further, this is the book. It's a great cozy read, something to break reading slump with, but for me, this is the extent it reaches. Nothing particularly outstanding, but it delivers what it sets out to. :)

Have you read it? Agree/disagree with me? I would love to hear about it!

#books #reading #currently reading #reading rant

[f1]

Horner outlines what Perez must change to compete with Verstappen in 2023

Christian Horner has admitted that Sergio Perez needs to bring his “A-game” weekend in, weekend out if he hopes to challenge Max Verstappen during the 2023 campaign, describing the Dutchman as “the highest benchmark” on the F1 grid. Perez joined Verstappen at Red Bull from Racing Point (now Aston Martin) in 2021, playing a supporting role in the Dutchman lifting that year’s drivers’ trophy before the pair combined to give the team their first constructors’ title in nine years last season. READ MORE: Horner lauds Red Bull for ‘phenomenal’ start to 2023 but expects rivals ‘to come back hard’ in future races However, despite taking sporadic wins and regular podiums with his new outfit, Perez has often struggled to live with the raw pace displayed by Verstappen – underlined by significant differences in their pole position, victory and points tallies across the two seasons they have spent together. With 2023 marking another fresh opportunity for Perez, Horner was asked what the Mexican has got to change to challenge Verstappen at every Grand Prix weekend, to which the Red Bull team boss initially said with a smile: “His lap time.” This feature is currently not available because you need to provide consent to functional cookies. Please update your cookie preferences Race Highlights: 2023 Bahrain Grand Prix Horner then expanded: “Look, Max is a hell of a competitor and he’s a tough… probably the highest benchmark in F1. But Checo is now in his third year in the team, he’s confident, he’s comfortable and he’s got to be on his A-game – not just with Max. “[Ferrari’s] drivers are pushing each other hard, Mercedes’ drivers are [pushing each other] hard, we’ve got what looks like a pretty motivated veteran [Fernando Alonso] in a green car as well, so it’s going to be a really exciting year.” READ MORE: Horner confirms McLaren have expressed interest in Red Bull engines from 2026 Pointing out that Perez is “mature enough” to deal with the challenge of racing alongside Verstappen in the same equipment, Horner was also keen to note some of the qualities the 33-year-old brings to Red Bull. “I think the key thing in the appointment of Checo was his experience. And it had been unfair, perhaps, on the previous two guys [Pierre Gasly and Alex Albon] to bring them in so soon,” said Horner, referring to Red Bull’s previous driver line-up movements. Perez has won three races for Red Bull: Azerbaijan 2021, Monaco 2022 and Singapore 2022 (pictured) “I think Checo with that experience, he’s been through some of the hard knocks and so on with his career to that point, and I think what he’s brought to us is… he’s a very rounded guy, he’s a great team player. “He’s got a good outlook on the development of the car and he’s very easy to work with, so that’s all the reasons for taking him in the first place, and he’s delivering on that.” READ MORE: Verstappen hopes Alonso can join the F1 title fight as he says race wins are ‘definitely on the table’ for Aston Martin Red Bull started the 2023 season with a comfortable one-two finish at the Bahrain Grand Prix – Verstappen beating Perez to pole position by just over a tenth of a second, before leading him home by almost 12 seconds on race day. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

#F1 #Horner outlines what Perez must change to compete with Verstappen in 2023 #Formula 1

[akaraboonline]

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

When you're dating someone, and all of a sudden they just start ignoring you, entirely erasing your existence from their lives without so much as a polite notification, you've been ghosted. Ghosting is a very impolite activity, and there has been an increase in it, particularly with the popularity of online dating, where people are limited to left and right swipes. These are the many stages, and in either case, being on the receiving end of it can be a trying experience.

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

1. The inescapable initial step of denial: perhaps he is sleeping, exceedingly busy, or that he lost or smashed his phone just as he began ignoring my Facebook messages.   2. Perhaps I damaged my phone. My texting must be malfunctioning in some way. despite the fact that they all state "delivered"?   3. For the past two hours, why have I been searching for nonexistent clues on his Facebook page? *Slowly examines each woman tagged in his social media pictures*

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have 4. It's possible that he has feelings for me and is just being coy. I used to think that only obnoxious girls did that. I suppose guys can be obnoxious too.   5. The gradual realization of acceptance: Okay, he has the guts to enable his read receipts, and all of my Facebook messages have the "seen" status, so I guess this is actually occurring. neither a phone in the gutter nor any bizarre deaths.   6. This won't happen to me since I'm not ugly enough. Are my looks too good for this? He cannot be cuter than me.

7. Was he motivated by my lack of attractiveness? Or perhaps it was my personality that lacked luster? * All assurance vanishes, and ideas turn into a swarm of uncertainty.   8. If we cross paths, this will be the worst thing that has ever happened. I now have to spend the rest of my life as a single woman avoiding this one moron and need to dress up every time I go out so that when he sees me, he realizes what he's been missing.   9. Do I need to use Tinder again? Dammit. There are so many disgusting guys and awkward pick-up lines to experience again. Looks like I already got one who ghosted me, so on to the next potentially wicked suitor! Swipe dating often results in meeting some terrible people!

10. Then the periods of acceptance and insecurity begin to be overtaken by wrath. How can I just accept it and go on? I'm entitled to an explanation. What sort of monster would do this?   11. After some moping, apathy begins to take hold. I'll never find the solution I'm looking for, and I'll never be able to let this ridiculous event go. Learning how to handle and neutralize problems for your own well-being without depending on anyone else to do it for you is kind of a wonderful lesson.   12. I wouldn't do this for a friend. I now see why I wanted to dump guys because it's quite crazy to be the one getting the shaft.

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have 13. I suppose technically it's a good thing he ghosted me because this experience pretty much proves that I'm still cool and he's an ass. I deserve much better, after all. Confidence levels gradually equating.   14. It's okay to be angry and to let your anger go. But this will undoubtedly assist you in getting back on the market and locating a person who appreciates your worth. Enjoy your single, unfettered existence while you can because it won't continue forever. In any case, ice cream dates are more thrilling. Read the full article

[imvijay525]

जगत गुरु रामपाल जी

प्रकृति का निर्माण (ब्रह्मांड)

हिंदू धर्म में सर्वोच्च भगवान

इस्लाम में अल्लाह कबीर

ईसाई धर्म में सर्वोच्च भगवान

सिख धर्म में सर्वोच्च भगवान

जैन धर्म में सर्वोच्च भगवान

बौद्ध धर्म में सर्वोच्च भगवान

अमर भगवान कौन है?

लोग नास्तिक क्यों होते हैं?

क्या आप जानते हैं ?

भगवान कहाँ रहता है

वेदों

पवित्र शास्त्र / पुस्तकें

संत रामपाल जी

संत रामपाल जी के बारे में "नास्त्रेदमस" की भविष्यवाणी

भगवान कृष्ण सर्वोच्च भगवान हैं

क्या भगवान कृष्ण वास्तव में सर्वोच्च भगवान हैं?

कुरान

कुरान में अल्लाह कबीर

बाइबिल में भगवान कबीर

बाइबिल में भगवान कबीर

जगत गुरु रामपाल जी महाराज - सच्चे आध्यात्मिक नेता और सर्वोच्च सर्वशक्तिमान ईश्वर के अवतार

In this mortal world which is no more than a fake fantasy that can end any second, people are busy accumulating enough of the world’s currency by hook or by crook. It is rightly said, that only the Real Saint can make us recollect the prime motive of getting a human life, which is to follow the true method of worship and landing back on the immortal abode, where there is no sorrow, no old age and most importantly, no death!

As the world is full of fake gurus who are playing negatively with the lives of devotees and possess no spiritual knowledge, Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj is the only Real Saint who has set straight, the tangled path of worship, by letting us know the complete details about scripture based worship and the immortal land, Satlok! Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj has provided authentic answers to all the questions that remained a mystery till now, such as -

Who is the Supreme Almighty God?

From where have we come?

Why do we face problems?

Why do we die?

What happens with a soul after death?

Why do people face problems and die an untimely death, even when they are already worshipping?

Is there a land devoid of sorrows, old age and death?

How can we attain the plentiful and immortal abode?

The knowledge provided by Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj is soul purifying and every single thing told by Him, is backed up by numerous proofs from the Holy books of all religions.

Satguru ke lakshan kahu,

Madhure bain vinod.

Char ved chatt shashtr,

Vo khein athaara bodh!

The words and speech of the Real Saint are divine and pious. He delivers the spiritual knowledge, taking our Holy books and scriptures as the base. Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj is the only True Guru, who delivers spiritual discourses by providing evidences from our Holy books & scriptures and has proved, that Lord Kabir is the Supreme Almighty God, testifying this fact from the Holy books of all religions! The knowledge provided by Saint Rampal Ji is unprecedented and unparalleled, after following which, people receive all sorts of benefits, be it health related, finance related or spiritual ones. Not just this, the power of Supreme God knows no bound, so therefore, after following the true method of worship provided by Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj, people get blessed with life extension as well!

All of this in itself proves one thing transparently, that Saint Rampal Ji Maharaj is the True Spiritual Leader, who is doing every single thing for the welfare of souls.

Also, take a note of these lines;

“Whenever there is an increase in unrighteousness and distortion in the path of devotion; At that time, the Almighty God Himself descends on earth to establish righteousness by imparting true spiritual knowledge based on holy scriptures”.

[westergaardlamont]

Similar to those who have Difficulty with Language Barriers

Content of the article Joseph Filiplic changed the way he taught during the pandemic. He's not going back to the way he taught.

Article content When COVID-19 hit and classes began to go online in 2020 the Edmonton social studies instructor realized the scope of the challenge the school was facing. "When everybody was remote learning and working at home. My students were often taking on additional roles at their homes. They were taking on the role as babysitters for younger siblings , and more," he says of his J.J. Bowlen Catholic Junior High pupils. "I needed to ensure that I was reaching my students. They were being pulled in different directions and doing things that were completely new to me.

The answer is: What Filiplic calls a flip lesson style, using mostly Microsoft education tools including video-conferencing platforms Teams as well as note-taking apps OneNote and video-discussion software Flipgrid. "I would record every lesson and upload them on YouTube, and then I would integrate them to OneNote and Teams," says Filiplic. The material and assignments for the course could be accessed from almost any device from there.

At first, he only hoped his students would get through the outbreak without suffering. They did more than endure, and they flourished to his delight. The kids who had succeeded in a traditional classroom continued to succeed. MY BLOG He was now able to reach students who were learning differently. Like those with difficulties with language, learning disabilities and even shyness.

"I knew at that point that I wouldn't be able to go back to the old method of stand-and-deliver. From now on, it needs become more interactive. He says it must be more cooperative. The digital tools were able to continue working even after the classes in person resumed. Filiplic continues to record his lectures on video, allowing students to respond via Flipgrid. Students can also call or message him on Teams whenever they need to. It's a lot like an office environment that has flexible hours and self-motivated employees. Filiplic says, "My students don't stay inside the four walls any longer." "They realize that the lessons don't end when the bell goes. It has removed a lot of barriers.

Filiplic says that the article content was a natural choice from the beginning. Microsoft is the gold standard in the workplace. "I thought, okay I'm teaching sociology, but am I really just teaching one subject or am I instructing my students on how to be better contributors to society? What happens when they grow up? He claims that everything points towards Microsoft.

As a company, Microsoft has been laser-focused on the education market, in particular with the recent launch of Windows SE, a cloud-based version of its signature operating software. The new platform will be accessible on budget-friendly "cloud first" laptops and tablets from Acer, Asus, Dell and more, and Microsoft directly under the Surface brand.

Paige Johnson, Microsoft vice president of education marketing she says that Windows SE has purpose-built features that will aid students in the K-8 age group in the ways we have heard them asking for. The new interface reduces visual distractions and puts an inclusive, flexible learning tool at the top of the line. These include Microsoft Teams, OneNote, and features such as Reading Progress, which is an AI tool that lets teachers remotely monitor student fluency and Immersive Reader which is an interactive reading comprehension tool and learning tool that makes text accessible to students of all ages.

Johnson says that Reading Progress is great for educators since it helps them focus their time teaching where they are most needed. "If I notice that my children are unable to pronounce the word 'physical' I might realize that I'm not speaking it in a loud enough way or that I require more reading samples that contain the word.

Article content The company also offers free Microsoft 365 for students that includes Flipgrid and an educational edition of Minecraft, the popular world-building video game.

For Filiplic the new releases are bound to open new opportunities in a field rife with opportunity for teachers, students and even parents who are now able to keep track with their children's development like never before. His YouTube videos have proven to be an instant hit with teachers across Canada and he has been actively helping others to change the lecture model.

"I'm in my 17th year of teaching and I have so much energy I'm feeling like a first-year teacher again," he says. "I'm extremely grateful that I've discovered these tools, because I'm sure I'm able to reach my students more effectively than ever before. I can't go back. I'm not going to go back."

This story was written for Microsoft by Content Works, Postmedia’s commercial content division.

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#My blog #MINECRAFT ONLINE #Minecraft servers #Minecraft

[krispypeanutllama]

7 Tips For Effective Performance Evaluation

It is important for every company to conduct performance evaluations, but the effectiveness of those evaluations depends on how they are carried out. A great review helps employees identify their growth opportunities and potential areas of improvement while strengthening the bond between employer and employee. Effective performance reviews can inspire and motivate employees to reach new heights, while poorly written ones can cause them to seek employment elsewhere. To reduce this uncertainty, you must evaluate the performance.  

What is Performance Evaluation?

A performance evaluation is a formal process for reviewing employees' work, handling communications between teams, and setting goals for the future. Such evaluations are held periodically and may include meetings of managers and employees together or separately.

 Here are 7 tips for writing Performance Evaluation:

Keep track of your performance over time.

An annual performance review is one way to evaluate an employee's performance. Employees should be evaluated on a weekly basis, and managers should make written notes about each employee's strengths and weaknesses. If you provide feedback face-to-face, these notes will make your annual evaluations more accurate since you can see how the employee has been performing all year.

Frequently collect feedback from multiple sources.

It is important to gather feedback from different perspectives, and a direct manager's perspective on how an employee performs is valuable. Still, you may also want input from the employee's peers, their team members, and their direct reports (if applicable), who may provide different insights. One way to collect this feedback is to prepare separate forms for each perspective (for example, one form could be completed by a peer, another by a team member).

Encourage self-evaluation.

Before you meet with an employee for their performance review, have them evaluate their performance. Provide a form so they can prepare for what you will be evaluating and line up their responses with your ratings. This encourages a two-way discussion about the steps necessary for attaining their goals.

Recognize the employee’s achievements.

When you prepare for a performance review, it’s easy to focus on the employee’s weaknesses. However, if you spend some time on what the employee has done well, he or she will have some positive takeaways and be able to build on those successes.

providing some objective data

Performance reviews shouldn't be subjective. The more objective data you can provide, the better. This includes how long it takes a customer service representative to resolve an issue on a call and how many times they've escalated customer issues to another representative.

Deliver suggestions for improvement and best practices

When you give a performance review, offering actionable advice is important. Tell your employees what they can do to improve their performance. This can be as simple as taking a course offered by the company on advanced accounting features, or it could mean asking for help from an expert if you don't know how to prioritize multiple urgent tasks.

End on a positive and uplifting note.

It’s unlikely that an employee will leave their performance review feeling like they can do nothing right, but they are more likely to polish their resume after such an experience. Instead, end on a high note by summarizing their wins and creating an action plan for improvement. For example, if the employee is struggling with meeting deadlines, help them create a plan to work more efficiently or delegate some tasks.

 Conclusion

Today’s professional wants to be recognized more than ever, and performance appraisal plays a role in fostering well-being by giving an appreciation in terms of appraisal for what the employees are investing in growing the business. As mentioned above, companies should change the evaluation framework to get regular results so that they can give input and help the less performing employees to work proficiently. Many organizations are implementing monthly or weekly evaluations of performance, but tracking performance every month is a bit challenging. In this way, the performance management system is the answer to your question, which not only track it but also helps you to give unbiased and human error-free results. There are a lot of options for this type of system but before choosing it, first, analyze what you need and which software can totally eliminate your hassles.

#performancemanagementsystem #performanceevaluation #performancereview #performanceappraisal