#healthy back woman

[bagelb0nes]

#fanart #my art #illustration #digital art #stardew shane #stardew valley #stardew fanart #sdv fanart #im falling back into the loop #im starting to see a pattern for my taste in men #i dont wanna fix him #i want farmer to give him a little push wich will make him finally go into rehab and then when he is stable enought develop a friendship to #lovers #in which is slow #akward #cringe and comforting #also if shane had been a woman i would have defenetly let her wreck me #idc that i have enought illnes for a entire family #ill let female shane destroy me #i dont have a healthy relashionship with female romance if yall havent noticed #toxic yuri forever💪

[slithymomerath]

The most unconditionally soft and caretaking anyone ever was to me, it was a cis man.

#tldr I got messy drunk at a party #and he sat with me and let me lean on him for hours #while I held a bucket to vomit in #and then he walked me 40 min home #I was still identifying as a cis woman at the time #and I was a little bit flirty with him and he did absolutely nothing back #and he never brought any of it up again after that night #mayank you don’t seem the type to have a tumblr #but if you do I just want you to know that meant so much to me #campost #male positivity #positive masculinity #healthy masculinity

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING #IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN #HA #MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF #and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders #that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self #ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief #a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?' #tone “No!” of disbelief #and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it. #that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me #and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.” #was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf #anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally #now i see what the past several months but especially especially #the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January #were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong #...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not #a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side #and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like #i rationally say I trust them to have and do. #and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha #they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y #anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet #trauma evolution #shh katie #personal #my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic. #add to journal #abuse

[rawliverandgoronspice]

kind of following a lot of reaction to a bunch of recent and less recent events, but I feel like semi-regularly there's a kind of situation where someone online does something massively fucked up, and that at some point we begin to tip past genuine outrage and immediate jokes and begin to slip into the reign of casual cruelty and cynical pettiness, where it becomes not only okay but encouraged to be the worst version of yourself when interacting with the particular Villain of the Day, and while I feel like it's inevitable, I feel like that's kind of a repeating pattern that might not foster the best emotional reflexes around ideas of punitive justice and perception of the guilty party etc etc

#thoughts #this is kind of about somerton but not only #where I've seen people slipping from funny joke that are honestly well deserved and don't go past the realm of reasonable public shaming #especially given the situation #into shit that I feel should be off limits and are just wound-picking instead of actually relevant #also thinking about that time where a known public figure in gamedev (a queer woman) had been caught doing an Oopsie #like not a small one it was pretty bad #but she was eviscerated with a vitriol and glee I never saw applied to like #actual known rapists in the industry that we KNOW are rapists and still massively in positions of power #I don't know #thinking of Patterns #thinking about the theory of the Sacrificial Trash #like again not at all defending somerton this guy is a Mess on wheels #but I still feel like we should be careful of that moment when fighting back a malicious narrative becomes #“dehumanizing the guilty person is now what's fun about this" #and it upstages the need of taking the appropriate measures to defend the community #even when I don't feel particular sympathy for the guilty party I'm not sure it's a very healthy instinct to foster past a certain degree

[freebooter4ever]

Hey thanks I thought I was the only one who didn’t like the joke. Everyone laughed yuck

Ahhhhh yeah :/ i thought the joke was definitely funny, but with that harsh twinge of sadness at just how normalized and accepted this sort of sexism STILL is.

' i was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, i get older but your lovers stay my age '

And its not necessarily a damnation of the man himself - obviously rami is a favorite of mine but i dont think hes ever dated anyone over 30 and is veering towards jake and leo disease too, and i still think rami is one of the most brilliant character narrative builders in the business currently - but its a damnation of a culture that treats romantic partners not as equals but as disposable play things with an expiration date. Look, i got flirted with by much older guys in pittsburgh all the time - usually it was cute, they were friendly, very complimentary and flattering about it, and they never treated it seriously or asked me out. Then i came to LA and the difference was night and day. Older (rich) men here feel entitled to younger women in a way that is frankly scary - at one point in a bar when a guy in his 60s was hitting on me my muscular male friend had to physically step between us and scare the guy off to get him to go away.

And it doesn't help that im sort of in the 'one of the guys' category, so i've heard the way these super rich dudes talk about the models they date behind their back while hanging with 'the guys', and, ugh, its not nice. I will say one thing for sports dudes - i imagine guys like ja*gr have way more respect for young women who are passionate about health and fitness than computer science executives.

But there's negatives in the sports world too - yall know how much i adore taylor. But even i recognize that she's not 'sports bro hot' - she doesn't have silicone, her make up is understated, she doesn't have that social media defined 'hotness' that sports fan dudes expect their sports heroes to date. So while i was naively scrolling insta looking for cute snapshots of taylor and travis being all lovey dovey at the end of the game, a good half the comments were men complaining about her. Saying they cant understand why travis is dating someone so old, that she will never be able to give him kids, that she's already showing her age (both of them are 34 btw). So far travis seems to ignore these types of comments but it would be hard to judge him for giving into peer pressure because this stuff is just so prevelant and exhausting.

And it does effect us older women - while i was dating Pilot Boy i was absolutely hyper aware of the fact that here is this rich, handsome, successful, and extremely smart guy dating beneath him. Like we bonded over being literally the same age - we had mutual friends in college without even knowing it. But i was always questioning like what does this guy see in me - why isn't he dating a gorgeous 25 year old whose only goal in life is to live on the beach with him??? Like he was honestly more the type of dude i would be friends with while he dates hotter women, lol. So i really was not surprised when he ended things (i was mostly sad that we couldnt stay friends and continue geeking out on airplanes and history together LOL), it just felt like it made sense, of course he wouldn't be serious about me, a guy like him should be dating a fresh, youthful, less bitter and cynical 25 yr old blonde. Six years in LA and this is just the pattern i see repeating itself over and over.

And im the romantic - when i fall in love its ALL in. Usually it's personality, usually its intellectual - that comfort in finding someone who just understands how you think. I love being so close to someone that you know them better than yourself, that you can communicate wordlessly. Shared humor, shared experience. As i age im learning that i actually dont pay much attention to the signs of aging when it comes to attraction - who notices wrinkles when what you're in love with is that look in their eye when they smile at you? The mental connection between romantic partners is the most important for me in my book. For me this typically means someone within the ten year range plus or minus - though i prefer it even within a five year age gap.

#But i also really feel for the women because when i was 22 i got myself into a relationship with a man a decade older #Who only valued me for my youth and tight skin #And even back then no matter how much in love i was (and i have since deleted all the posts but even after he dumped me i was still #coming on this blog sighing about how much i loved and missed him) #The feeling of being only valued for your youth was still skeevy to me #In the back of my mind i knew that this was a trait i was eventually going to lose because everyone ages #And i was not confident enough to think i would ever have any value beyond Young #And thats not to say there are not relationships with age gaps that are healthy - there totally are look at ally and justin they ARE love #Its just a very specific type of relationship where the older partner keeps dating younger and younger and only values youth #that creeps me out #And in our culture that narrative usually is an older man with a younger woman and i tend to side with the woman #THE GOOD NEWS is if you notice in the clips and gifs it looks like the younger guys on the pens are laughing a lot less than the old guard #i think the newer generation - the dudes in their 20s are starting to realize how shallow all this is and that things are changing #and that the generation of women after me will deal with a lot less pressure #At least i hope!!! #Jrnlsht #Sorry this got long

[handcat]

instagram should be set aflame

#EVERY reel i’m reccomended of a woman or #or disabled person or queer person etc etc has the WORST people in the world in the comments #saw a vid just now of a woman with crazy long hot using it as a jump rope (sick as hell) and a BUNCH of ppl in the comments were accusing #her if being a trans woman like??????? like the third time today i’ve seen comments on cis women calling them trans (usually just calling th #em a man and saying awful transphobic shit) and i CANT TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER #also any woman who isn’t size 0 getting called fat and told to work out INCLUDING videos of women AT THE GYM WORKING OUT bc they also have #body fat which is literally healthy to have #and also some people will work out regularly and eat auper healthy and still be fat like ????? #soz for venting i really just need to not go on instagram lmao #i’m getting better at that but when ever i cave i just get so pissed #and then have to come back here for comfort lol #and have to remind myself that the people saying that shit are def the most sad lonely angry people in the world #and also they will die soon maybe <3

[floralovebot]

I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.

Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad

#theres a time and place for fanon and its not pretending that fanon IS canon #and like listen #there's a big difference between having headcanons and fanonizing a character so badly that theyre basically a different character #im not saying its Bad to have headcanons or to disagree with canon #everyone does that its normal and healthy for fandoms #that sounded SO online good god #but also recognizing that your headcanons are Just headcanons is also necessary? #and recognizing that sometimes headcanons have been disproven by canon or aren't backed up at all #and not acting like your fanon version Is canon or is better than canon? #like genuinely think some of you dont even like canon winx and you just like the fanon versions of them in your head #like no sorry but flora isnt the fumbling shy mess who can't even speak to the others #stella isnt the dumb selfish princess who can't fight and wouldn't protect her friends #aisha isn't the Super Independent Woman who hates all men (also a very racist trope) #musa isnt that I Hate Everyone bitch who would dropkick the winx and physically abuse riven #i could go on and on like im sorry but the fanon versions of them are So Bad rn its so weird to me #like... fanon has always existed but i dont think its ever been this bad? usually Extreme Fanon only happened when someone hated a characte #like people usually only mischaracterize them when they Hate them but now im seeing people who Love them do it #i dont understand what happened why has fanon gotten so bad recently?? #also Im Sorry if any of this sounds targeted or extra bitchy i promise im not talking about anyone specific and im not Trying to be mean #i just really hate going into a character tag and seeing post after post of people going 'riven would kill sky if he got the chance' #and i dont mean the clearly joke posts i mean the Very Genuine Headcanon posts like what the FUCK are you people talking about #i genuinely think some of you got your degrees from the fanon university instead of the canon uni #please rewatch the entire first three seasons at your earliest convenience or your degree will be revoked #ajhdglagd #like not to sound mean but i think there was an influx of people who only vaguely remembered the show and got the rest of their info #from random tumblr posts instead of yknow. the actual show #oh i am very complainy today time to do something more productive and less chronically online

[maxellminidisc]

My mom is going to Mexico today for medical reasons and it's funny how she and I are like orbiting around each other staying busy to not look at each other for more than five minutes cause she feels guilty for leaving me and my sister behind and I know she feels guilty and it makes me cry a lil bit cause my mom is such a loving goofball LMAO

#i was like yes mother i have a panic disorder but im like almost 30 aisndisndkskdkk #go get healthy in peace woman!!! lol #am slightly annoyed my parents refuse to let me stay at home alone with my sister though 24/7 #i have to go spend the night at my older sisters till they get back cause they're paranoid we'll get murdered or something sidnndkdkdfkskks #makes 0 sense given i used to babysit over night for my sister all the time

[imwritesometimes]

It's becoming just.... blatantly obvious that all this GOP posturing on transgender individuals being about ~protecting women's rights~ is just them trying to save face after they got Roe overturned and that has since backfired massively for them. Like it's so clear they think this is somehow gonna win points with women 'see we really care abt ur rights! We're trying to protect you!' while they still try to pry those rights from our hands not to mention there's no danger cis women face from trans people anyway

#it's just so infuriating to read the news these days like. denying some trans woman the right to live her life and be healthy #does NOTHING to harm my rights. if anything trans women and ppl in general are SUPPORTIVE of my rights #where the GOP definitely is not #I'm also so TIRED of the narrative that we need these ladies only spaces to be SAFE like #clearly you were never harassed in a girl's locker room in high school. by the other girls. #a trans woman in the locker room wants her privacy and security just as much as *I* do #making her go into a different locker room provides nothing for anyone #let's not forget this all also speaks to the government having control over your healthcare and bodily autonomy #which WILL come back to cis women. it WILL. if we don't support trans women they WILL come after more rights we've already clawed for #which I'm not saying like omg that's the only reason to support trans ppl. obv it's not. #but the more they can narrow the whole ~definition~ of a ~woman~ the more women will be excluded. and be in danger. #it is a steady march back to dresses no pants no working no college no money no birth control #this will be #delete later #I'm just so TIRED so FUCKIN TIRED. and I had to rant. #if there's any kind of malcontent clownery it's an insta block #***denying a trans woman rights does nothing to PROTECT mine I may have made a typo in the earlier tags I was in rant mode and mad

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

Not enough of y’all talk about how toxic dickbabs is

#not even the age difference (but that CAN be creepy at times along with how y’all seem keen on Dick being with older woman) #but just the chemistry? the relationship? #it’s not a healthy one #now I love Babs #she’s a MESSY character and I love it #I don’t want nice or amazing or perfect I WANT messy #and their relationship #is so incredibly messy and unhealthy #and it’s like so good story wise #but y’all need to accept and learn that that also means it’s not a good one #it’s not healthy or amazing it’s messed up #so like say their your otp good for you big acknowledge the fucked up ness with their relationship #whatoh back at it again #dick grayson #barbara gordon #anti dickbabs #no but the fact that it’s a messy with their age difference and she could be like 16 to her 20’s when they first kissed and he was like 13 #is so terrible holy shit #like he’s a BABY middle school age!!! #she can have a freaking license!!! #I’m in a mood to piss off people in the dc fandom this week lads

[baebeyza]

At my job I always need to consider the fact that my severy disabled clients will be exhausted and out of power much faster than I'll be, and that they won't always be able to put in effort to move.

But I'm confident in saying my girl Becky is just lazy as fuck-

When she is lying down to get her nappies changed and I don't sing, she will sit up in a second to touch my face like "I aint lying down here in silence, woman. Sing a song."

But when I'm done and tell her to sit up she be like "I can't do it, man. You do it." And when I repeat it a few more times, she holds her hand up like "I need help."

To which I say: "Becky, I know you can do this on your own, very fast even. Sit up."

And boom, she sits up.

Told my coworkers that she can do it on her own, and one of them came to me like: "Yeah, she refused to do it."

#bey's shit #before anyone calls me evil #movement is healthy #its better for her to move than having everything done for her #besides the fact that she is an adult woman and if I carried her all the time it would break my back #and its also good for her parents since the wont get younger #the more she can do herself the better it is for everyone involved #her not doing stuff that she could technically do is part of her personality #because she sees no value or endgoal in doing it herself #so ye gotta pull it out of her a little bit #btw she can't actually speak I just translate her thoughts

[profanetools]

ngl i don't think i would have been able to make a character like vyra 10 years ago, it's extremely fun to explore this character with such extreme rage and a deep well of genuine trauma (most of which I haven't even scratched the surface of here) but also deeply middle class / economically secure in a way that also makes her sheltered, funnily enough.

#mzel finds her mystifying on some level that she would seek out hardship of her own accord #and it's in part this 'i have contacts who have money and opportunities but i'd rather let my pride rule' #the sort of self-indulgent masochism that feels deeply DISTASTEFUL to anyone who has a choice #there are adults in her life who love her DEEPLY and want to welcome her back into the fold with OPEN arms if only she'd DO IT #but for vyra there's also the dimension of toxic academia that hasn't been addressed #there's also the question of whether a life full of meaning is a class privilege #her being bankrolled by her shitty absent father at least for some of her merchant work #adds another facet to it #and there's the fact that vyra isn't really THAT young - she'd be in her mid 30s to us - in a way that makes this even more ridiculous #this isn't an adolescent strop. this is a high-powered woman who is regressing BACK into adolescent strop mode. in part because she doesn't #know what a healthy coping mechanism is

[lunapdf]

.

#i just got fatshamed lmaooo like thanks ig #thanks for making my day more shittier than it was :D #i was not able to focus on working out cuz since jan i had exams back to back #and now i have a major medical entrance exam coming next sunday (neet) #and i stress ate a LOT #she was so rude abt it too :< #idk man why are people so rude #she was an old woman so i didnt say anything back even though she wasn't that healthy either :< #idc everything just feels so shitty i cant #kheer rambles #just wanna curl up into a ball and cri