#help im stuck at my job and cant get out

[booksandfairytales]

.

#help im stuck at my job and cant get out #at least for 3 1/2 more hours til my shift ends #so much filing #so much paperwork #i just want to go home and oaint canvases #why do i always get stuck in office jobs???

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[24062]

anyone else in a deadend job and has no idea what theyre doing with their life. no? just me? okay great

#i dont know what to do. #how do you go from working customer service > to an office job or something IT #you have to go fucking study it and i dont want to go even more into debt than i already fucking am #i dont want to be in debt in the first place but i cant do anything about that #i wish i had just. not done lvl5 hospitality why did i do it? im so stupid like i fucking dropped out so its fucking useless to me anyways #i dropped it cause my fucking life went fucking down hill and it hasnt stopped #going downhill since then #ever since 2020 everything that could go wrong for someone it has happened to me #i just wish i had something nice going for me but i have nothing and i dont know how to get out of this situation because i am just stuck #speaking #im venting here and on twitter god i cant even afford a fucking therapist either to help with this situation

[kinky-asexual]

*lays on the floor*

#vent in the tags i guess so heads up #ive literally had the worst luck this year #i just got in my 3rd car accident #2 in as many weeks #and im just #im so tired #i really want to die but thats inconvient and scary and itll make my mom sad and my fiance sad #bc it feels likenit just liles up and up and up #theres no end #and i dont have time to do what i love anymore #and i cant handle all the shit that keeps happening to me #and im just a burden on my parents financially even tho they say im not i am i know i am #my job sucks but i cant do anything else and this is like the most ive ever gotten paid but its still fucking poverty wages and im stuck #im too dumb to run my own business #i cant get any kind of mental help bc my insurance sucks bc i cant afford anything better bc my job sucks #its just a fucking never ending cycle #and im just tired #now my cars fucked again and i cant drive it now #who knows when ill be able to get a rental so im gonna have to pay out the ass for luft and uber bc i work at Bar hours #which means they charge more #and i love fucking 30 minutes away so even non peak driving times its still like 30 bucks both ways #and im fucking poor as shit #i couldnt even get fucking hurt in these accidents so i could get a medical pay out #i just want to stop #sorry if you've read this far #its sad boy hours here rn #ill delete this later i guess #maybe maybe ill just rot away like i should #whatever

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

when you literally live in a world that wasnt made for you 😆🔫

#dont think im gonna get into grad school. dont know what the fuck else im going to do. #i dont want to fucking work i want to research. probably wouldnt even be able to find a job in my desired fields so what would i even be #fucking doing. and at that point how would i get there. bc i dont drive. and i dont want to fucking drive. i cant #it feels like im having a panic attack when i try. so gotta find a driving school. what if it doesnt work. what if it does. im driving to #work i dont wanna do. my friends are spread out and working and dont have any time to call. since i dont drive i dont get out of the house #except to grocery shop with my mom on weekends. i dont have anything productive to do but i cant even relax properly bc i feel like im in a #panopticon with my parents and i need to at least LOOK busy while i live in their house. so im just doing nothing all day but i want to #but i CANT!!!! and i cant even broach the subject of therapy or meds which i really think i need because like. my parents just dont fucking #believe in it or whatever. like ive really essentially told my dad i think i could be autistic and he hasnt been like oh should we find #help or anything hes just been like ok cool that surely has no repurcussions on your life #even as it was part of the fucking conversation why i dont want to drive #its just. its whatever. i feel so stuck but i dont want to move forward because moving forward just means going into a world where i have tl #work a job i probably hate and make hardly enough money to live in a shitty apartment because the economy and society are fucked #trying to experience the Wonders but i cant escape the Horrors. what the fuck ever ugh

[toytulini]

.

#toy txt post #i guess i just need to find a different job since this one seems to be. not great for me #but i also like. dont know what wont be bad for me. like sorry i just dont think there are jobs that are accessible to me that arent going #to feel Like This #at least in some way. and this one has good insurance and shit. and if i can get my shit together it has fucking. paid community service #time that i could theoretically use to like. volunteer at the aquarium or smth and have a day off for it and get paid by my job #which could be a foot in the door to a career that i am interested in but im just fucking. stuck and fatigued and in pain and wallowing and #have no fucking energy and i cant do anything and im fucking nocturnal and i joke about it and i was fine with it but i hate it i hate #not seeing the fucking sun and i miss my old job which is INSANE but i know what i miss about that job was #that it was part time. and i regret not doing more with that #but im also allergic to normal hours i guess i dont fucking know #i know part of it is prolly just feeling profoundly out if control of my life so i just stay up bc at least thats quiet time for me #w no expectations but thats not even tru bc i shoukd be at least doing my fucking laundry or smth cos it would make sense #and the fucking answer to so many of my issues rn is like just do that then or just stop doing that then but i cant i dont know why im just #like this ive always been like this stupid useless cant fucking do anything cant fix my shit just fucking wallowing and angry and doing #nothing and its just gotten worse cos now i have fucking chronic pain and fatigue and now i REALLY do FUCKALL #im depressdd and anxious and in pain i should get a therapist but thats hard and i dont fucking trust ppl #i should move out and maybe that would help bc i wouldnt feel like i have to wear a mask around my own house but im barely functioning #as is w a lot of support from my mom i cant fucking live on my own #not to mention the whole country being so fucking. Bad rn. ive done nothing all day not even resting #and tomorrow ill wake up too late and be in a rush and in pain and tired and just #i dont fucking know #im so miserable and lately so many topics can just send my stupid little brain just Spiralling but i dont want to say that i dont want ppl #to feel weird for talking about fucking college. i dont want to sit here being so bitter that something in my brain broke about school #im happy for ppl who can do their fucking college shit i just. smth wrong in my brain and i cant dwell on it and i try not to be too #outwardly negative about it cos i dont want ppl to feel like they cant talk to me about it or smth idk #rambling and venting and im gonna hit tag limit lmao for sure #been having the same goddamn problems nonstop for my whole life and its just that i cant fucking do anything #i have too much shit i should rid of #whatever

[rustedpipe]

🫧🛝🤸🚇🏺

#um here are some emojis i find good and interesting #because im going to vent a little sorry #because i really am not doing well with being indefinitely stuck at my parents house in a place #that is physically isolated as well as socially #and i wanna die a lot #and i feel the need to just say it on multiple soc med platforms because i have something wrong with me #and ill probably end up deleting this #but umm i feel like a failure bc i cant get a job in a place i can actually live and i cant even get a temporary job here to make money #to help move or at least get out the house so im doing awesome and great #awesome #and great

[the-kipsabian]

i love waking up to realizations that my life is in shambles and i have no future

#its quarter to four and im just getting out of bed - once again feels like ive barely slept or rested at all #i have nothing to do. nowhere to go. the one thing im responsible for is my cat which is the only reason im not staying in bed #every effort i make about anything is pointless. every job i apply for rejects me. i cant get into schools. i cant afford online classes #anything im passionate about i cant work with. wrestling doesnt pay here. nobody wants to hire an inexperienced writer #i'd love to do something with games but im too fucking stupid on top of being talentless and not getting education #im just. fucking stuck. i cant do anything or be good enough at anything to make anything work #the one thing i was qualified for didnt hire me. the one school i really wanted into didnt accept me #i have nowhere to go and nothing i can do about anything. i have no skills i can put into use and what i have are not good enough #doing stuff on the hobby level isnt taking me anywhere. i want to like what i do but its increasingly more difficult every day #when its not leading me to anything. personal happiness isnt helping me forward or paying my growing pile of bills #i just.. dont know what to do. where to go. why am i here why am i trying. whats the point when nothing is ever going to work out for me #its all just so pointless #night is an absolute mess on main

[this-should-do]

ugh

#genuinely think if i dont get therapy and medical transition soon i might actually kill myself #life is too fucking much and i cant take this shit anymore #its unfair that i got unlucky in the genetic draw and got sruck with the stupidest most feminine body in the world #and that being fat when i live the exact same lifestyle as thin people makes kt easier to tell that im born female #and that even if i do all the working out in the world its not gonan fucking chnage the way my body looks and manages its distribution #and that i have the face and mouth of every single fat comedy side character or fat villain #and that ive lived my whole life hearing about how pretty and wonderful i look and how i look like my grandmother #and that im short and have almost all my weight below my torso so i look like the worlds largest pear #and that i have a naturally soft demeanor that offsets every ounce of effort i pht into my looks to be more masc #and that i dont want to dress in baggy or sporty clothes and i dont have the budget to purchase those things even if i got desperate #or that i get overheated too easily to use layers and that i cant mentally handle being overheated #and its not fair that i cant for the life of me get my voice to cknsistantly be lower so i sound more maaculine #its not fucking fair #i cant fucking do this anymore #but im so fucking stuck reliant on ym fucking parents for mo ey that ill never get the help i need #and working as a teacher will never result in the money itll take to get the help i need #and it feels like even if i could get transition when i get a job itll be too risky with clowns like desantis #SPECIALLY as a teacher #i cant fucking look into a fucking mirror without wanting to cry and take a knife to every slab of meat that i ditn want on my body #and every day that im home im sruck hiding in my room so that i dont risk running inti my moyher and making her angry by existing #and having to affirm to her that im her little girl and be called by a name that isnt mine and pronouns that make me want to stab my ears #and be told by her that i just think im trans becuz im traumatized and dont want peole to think im attractive so they wont try to get close #to me becuz they wont know what i am when i dont even want to have sex and she says im just making that up to #my mental health is in shambles and has been for fucking months and its only getting worse #i want out #i want out so fucking bad #im tired of being jealous of my own fucking shadow becuz it looks like more of a man to me

[nataliewaitegf]

-

#if insurance ppl don’t get back to me this week istg im just gonna book a doc appt + pay out of pocket somehow i cannot continue like this #i hate being stuck laying down in bed all the time bc i can’t walk I hate it I hate it #also im srsly debating quitting my job at the end of the month whether or not i have sth else in place #bc i cannotttttt keep spending 5-6 hours a day on my feet any day let alone 4-5 days a week it’s destroying my body + ability to function #i hate this so much i just want Help and i don’t know how to get it when everything is just waiting !!! i need help Now !!!!!!!!!! :( #anyway i have to pee but my legs hurt sososo bad so i cant get out of bed yet 👍 gm

[ff2-soda-pop]

I swear it feels like my mom is trying to actively sabotage my ability to like. go to school or anywhere that isnt this goddamn house-

#vent #semester starts IN A WEEK. i have not been able to set up classes 'cause i havent done all this extra shit they require that i #need stuff from my mom to do. my mom has REFUSED to give me said things. she keeps going 'oh we'll do it Later' and then get mad when i want #to do it. i was meant to start LAST FUCKING YEAR but i didnt due to high stress and my mom made fun of me for it. i cant even get to school #on my own 'cause i'd need a bus pass and i cant GET a bus pass because i dont have money rn so she'd have to get it FOR me. and i cant get a #job to be able to get the bus stuff figured out on my own because theres no jobs i can do within walking distance! #so basically i am stuck and trapped until she finally helps me. BUT SHE WONT EVER HELP BECAUSE SHE DOESNT 'FEEL LIKE IT' #AND THEN WHINES THAT IM NOT 'INDEPENDENT ENOUGH' #i swear i feel like im fucking trapped #and like! is she intentionally trying to ruin my chances? no idea theres no proof! but it sure does fucking feel like it!!!

[silenthillbunni]

having avpd is the definition of being a prisoner of your own mind

#i think everything sucks ofc but avpd is just... #no treatment. no reprise. no breaks. no ups. no calm. no healing. no help. no medications work #no amount of selfwork or anything will help at all #and avpds (it varies from person to person ofc) have an extreme difficulty to exist in our own lives #ppl with other issues might still be able to have friends or jobs or hobbies etc #having avpd is being alive far inside a shell and desperately wanting to break out but never being able to #i want to be alive somewhere deep down inside but i will never be able to participate in life #and i dont mean to be inconsiderate. i know EVERYONE struggles #... and i dont wanna mention anything in particular but maybe ppl with x have the capacity to heal eventually. or do this nd that #idk. ppl just dont get avpd. not even most psychiatrists... idk i just wanna die #but having avpd i cant even kms #im just fucking stuck #and i'll always be nothing more than a victim to my circumstances

[piplupod]

its so fucking stupid that just wanting to live a life where i am not afraid constantly and not being on constant alert is too big of an ask to get help with. idk why this is so impossible. i just want to live outside of this house with enough money for food and housing and a little left over for art supplies every month and thats too much to ask for. i wouldnt even ask for friends in town, i can deal with being alone and isolated, i just dont want to be in this house anymore

#its also infuriating that money is not my problem!!! i have savings and im very lucky that i do !!! #but whats the issue is that i cant work so no landlord will let me live there if i have no income #so i get to just fucking die here i guess stuck in my abusers basement with her hassling me to get a job and stop being a lazy piece of shit #im trying so hard to not lose my mind but i am slipping and cracking #this can't go on jfjdldl like this isnt healthy or doable. ppl cant survive this #i can't keep doing this but nobody helps dbfjdl social workers or counselors or psychistrists. nobody helps me and they all shrug at me #i dont know what im doing wrong or what im doing to deserve any of this bc im trying so fucking hard dhfkdl idk what else to do #bc obviously im doing smth wrong or not trying hard enough bc why else would things be not working dbfkdl it has to be my fault #bc i cannot comprehend that the system is That fucked. how does it just let ppl die like this i dont understand it #i know its true but i can't get it through my head that theres just nothing for me fhfjkl I can't understand how that works out to be true #it just does not make sense to me. how do they just not care. why are they willing to let ppl like me die fhfkdl i dont get it #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #negative / #suicide mention

[spectrumgarden]

This autism month please remember those of us who:

need verbal prompting (someone telling us each single, small step to a task) or hands on help for things like showering, getting dressed, cooking simple meals, using a toilet ....

who struggle to go outside alone or cant do it all, not out of fear or no motivation or anything but because we keep getting lost and cant find our way back, because the outside world is like a blurry maze that never becomes more logical no matter how many times we have walked that street, because we need help with mobility aids, or can not understand that cars are dangerous, other people can be dangerous, ...

whose bodies dont listen to what our brains tell it to do. Whose bodies throw things when we didnt tell it to, told it to stop. Who hit our head against the walls while wishing we could stop. Whose bodies freeze when we tell it to move. Not just for a task we are unable to start, but any movement at all. I dont mean when i'm stuck scrolling through my phone thinking about how much i should do that task but cant, I mean when im sitting on the kitchen floor and staring into space for an hour unable to even lift my hand to scratch my nose.

Those of us that will never work a job outside of sheltered workshops, if at all.

Who drool and scream and jump and hum and rock in the waiting room at the doctors office, on public transport, ...

#actually autistic #autistic adult #autistic community #actually disabled #medium support needs #autism acceptance month #autism awareness month #red instead

[criminalhhaze]

i just really need to get things out my chest

#this last few months have been shit #and when i mean shit is really really shit #like i could deal with being the one no one wanted it has always been like this my whole life #but now that i started on the right medication for a freaking bipolar disorder that didn't help with unshitiness #i see how freaking miserable i am #all my friends have SOMEONE romantic or not they have a person to go to #i have no one i'm all alone and i've always been if something happens i have no shoulder to cry on i have to deal with it myself as usual #it made me strong yes but is not the best feeling having to sit there and realize if i don't pick myself up no one will #everyone is moving or going places and i feel stuck i'm stuck at my job at my house at my finacial status love life everything is stuck #i don't even know what im doing in college people seem to get a grip on what they are doing and im just super lost #to add a cherry on the top of the cake i dont have sex in 5 years 5 FREAKING YEARS thats one year less than the age of my coworker son #a child has lived longer since the last time i fcked someone actually 4 if you count the almost r*p* wich didn't help wuth my trust issues #anyway everything is chaos right now like i'm stuck inside of the eye of a hurricane i cant get out all i can do is stay there

[starry622]

Please Help Out a Homeless and Disabled Trans Man (URGENT)

unfortunately, i, too have to extend my paw for money. at the ripe age of 19.

i have been functionally homeless for over a year, but ive managed to stay off the streets due to who i once thought was a kind and caring family member, but he has finally said the quiet part out loud:"im sick and tired of you being here, im gonna have to kick your ass out". hes given me a very rough estimate of just longer than a week, though i think i can extend my stay a little longer than that.

once im out, ill have no money, no shelter, and ill be stuck in the middle of nowhere. i cannot work a normal job due to disability, so i cant make money in that way. Anything at all helps.

i am unable to make a gofundme, as i dont own a phone, and he will not provide me with one, but i accept donations via paypal <-link if youll notice, it is a business account, and this is because i take commissions. if youd rather pay me in exchange for art, you can message me.

for visibility, here is the full link:

more info under cut:

even if i were allowed to stay, this family member has not been the best person to live with, put lightly. He does seem to really care, but hes old-fashioned. hes also once taken advantage of me and has also forced me to conform to my agab, which includes forcing me to shave and pressuring me to stop taking my testosterone, to the point where he wont pay for it if i dont promise to wean off of it. i would much rather be anywhere else, if i had the choice. and soon, i wont have a choice on the matter.

i dont have a specific amount of money in mind, there is no specified goal. i will have to go back to my mother, and i will have to live with her on the streets, as she is also homeless, though shes seemingly on the brink of getting an apartment that i will be allowed to live in, if she can get it before someone else does or before the process has to be renewed.

i will mainly use the money for my healthcare needs (testosterone) as well as for food and hopefully housing, if i make enough to help with that.

its okay if you cant donate, but please share if possible. i dont want to be back on the street, alone, and in a city im not familiar with. even just a little bit could help me cover the cost of going back to the city i once lived in and reuniting with my mother, who will undoubtedly help me more than anyone will ever know.

#mutual aid #paypal #donations