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#her being a trans woman makes me so happy
outeremissary · 2 days
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I was really sleepy when I was answering asks yesterday and I almost forgot to check if you were doing the problematic oc ask too!
Balth is your oc I’m most familiar with! But if they’ve already been asked tell me about whatever critter is infecting your brain most rn 👀💖
Ahh, I appreciate the ask!! Somehow, no one did ask about him!! At any rate, I feel like this blog is full of Balthazar's sympathetic moments and not his Chaotic Fucking Evil Moments, happy to finally correct that <3
Lies constantly
Vengeful
Selfish
Past history of gold digging
Former con artist
Endorsement of experiments on animals
Enjoys watching other people suffer
Loves making people worse
Willing to sell out friends when they cease to be useful
Told a suicidal man to do a flip on the way down
Made fun of a suicidal man's family's deaths
Invades woman's memories to see her at her most vulnerable, mocks her for it
In general just willing to kick anyone when they're down
Doesn't like Regongar's puns
Profited from infant sacrifice
Murdered his own cult
Lied about having a cult
Problematic trans rep?
Accepted demonic gifts multiple times
Supported two different Lamashtu cults
Really does unconditionally forgive Tristian
Sincerely thinks Tristian did nothing wrong
(except cause problems for him but see two points above)
Funded demonic library
Misappropriation of public funds for personal projects
Harboring smugglers
Has been called the worst and most evil person in the Stolen Lands multiple times
Had a cult dedicated to him being The Worst (until he murdered them, see above)
Recruits enemies terrorizing area to work for him
Leading on poor Sharel
Frequently manipulates others into killing on his behalf
Takes credit for the work of others
Refuses to help with camp chores
Troll alliance
Hates animals
Obnoxious PDA
Abuses aasimar heritage to take advantage of others' trust
The public executions
The secret executions
Comes from working class family, often uses his success to close opportunities for others instead of opening them
Jaethal minister
Belittles Regongar's mental health problems
Ghosts Regongar instead of breaking up with him
Mocks Linzi's writing constantly
Enchantment specialist. Mind control is the way <3
Endorsement of experiments on nonconsenting wererats
Identity theft
Identity theft coverup
Asshole southern elitist, frequently belittles local culture as backwards
Propaganda
Lying to the public about a plague
Gaslighting rioters into fighting each other
24 year old bullying a 17 year old... Lander Lebeda is literally a minor
Plus that's just high key pathetic
The murders
The assassinations
Doesn't like dessert :(
Funding foreign dissidents
Endorsement of troll torture
Bad at communicating emotional needs
Using other people as shields in combat
Will throw anyone under the bus for anything
Really only heals Tristian in combat
Supports filicide for dark ritual purposes
His friendship with Jaethal in general
Problematic bi rep?
Attempted to recreate Bloom
Everything that happened during the Divorce Era
There's probably still a warrant out for him in Absalom
Due to [redacted]
Defacing a priceless historic tome (only known copy)
Anyone can die if it's for Tristian's sake
Sells out allies when they stop being convenient
Surtova supporter
Covering up Lander's death
Lander Undeath Incident
Torture is fine
I'm not even sure he seriously thinks torture works he's just horrible
Bread and circuses babyyyyyy
Mean to Nok-Nok
Literally kicked a dog
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And there's an incomplete list of Balthazar Crimes! I'm sure I'm missing so, so much but honestly he's problematic more than he's not so. You know.
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soup--champ · 2 years
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i miss her
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genderkoolaid · 2 years
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I'm not sure where I read it - I think it was on the wikipedia page of that trans doctor from the 1920s, but I don't remember his name - but basically, it was talking about this trans man's experience being trans in the early 20th century, and his family's reaction. And it made a point of saying how his grandparents were entirely supportive and even wrote him as their grandson on their gravestones. And there's a similar story for a trans girl, also in a similar time period I believe, where her family took her to a doctor when she started Being Trans and the doctor's reaction was literally "Okay, she says she's a girl? Then treat her like a girl! Buy her dresses and call her by whatever name she wants!" and they did!!
Obviously transphobia still existed back then, and it was strong. But throughout time, there have been cases where people heard their loved one say "I am not that gender, that doesn't fit me," and their love and trust in that person overrode any prejudice or lack of understanding, and they just accepted them. Whether it's a doctor encouraging parents to treat their little girl like a little girl, or grandparents marking their grandson's gender in stone (even when, if I remember correctly, his parents had doubts), trans people have always had people who cared for us and believed us and supported us, despite what the rest of society might have said.
UPDATE: IT WAS ALAN L. HART, from his wikipedia page:
Hart wrote later, in 1911, of his happiness during this time, when he was free to present as male, playing with boys' toys made for him by his grandfather. His parents and grandparents largely accepted and supported his gender expression, though his mother described his "desire to be a boy" as "foolish." His grandparents' obituaries, from 1921 and 1924, both list Hart as a grandson.
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illogicalghost · 2 months
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#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts#personal#so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right#idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian#but now im like more sure than ever#i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be#i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i#understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence#i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore#the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience#but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair#anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings#and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!
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coloursofaparadox · 4 months
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💙💙💙
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yuribalisms · 1 year
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I hate my gender I hate it I hate my gender this is fucking stupid I hate it I hate it I hate it could I be literally anything fucking else I’m so goddamn sick of this
#I’m like 99.9999999% sure I am genderfluid#which is all great and fine when I go like literal months#being perfectly happy and content being feminine and being called a girl and enjoying she/her pronouns#until all of a sudden I’m just vibing on the couch last night and the dysphoria just fucking SLAMMED into me#and it was so Fucking Stupid too I just saw a buff shirtless male video game character and my brain was like#‘kinda bullshit you don’t look like that huh’#and now I hate everything and I get my five millionth ‘am I trans man’ crisis#except at this point I KNOW I’m not cuz this is the pattern#I’ll be uncomfortable for several months like two ppl I know will use he/him pronouns for me and I’ll enjoy it#and then eventually I’ll decide THAT now makes me uncomfortable and I’ll go back to either hyperfem or androgyny#whichever is scratching the itch at the time#and I’m so…. so fucking sick of this pattern#cuz say I DID do anything to transition then whenever I inevitably wanted to look like a woman it’d be the same thing just reveresed#AAAAHGGGHHHHHHHH#I want it to stop I want stable feelings about gender one way or the other this is so fucking stupid and unfair#I hate it I hate it I hate it#this is the worst way to experience gender ever I literally can do NOTHING about it#and these intense switches are just gonna keep happening#like idk at least I’m self aware enough I’ve figured out the pattern but honestly I think that kinda makes it worse in a way#androgyny is my go to and has definitely never made me feel Bad#but life certainly is fucking easier when I’m happy with and leaning into being more fem aligned than masc aligned#bye I’m gonna go die in a hole now#kaz rambles
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bokusaka · 2 years
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ttransthirteen · 1 year
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I know it's cheesy to be like ough oof I love women.. but literally ever since I was a very small child I've occasionally been thrown into fits of madness over the way women make me feel. I want to flirt with a girl so bad rn its making me deranged
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lycantherous · 1 year
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Went to my state capitol today and it was sooo cathartic to scream and cry and see all these lovely trans people and our friends who came to support us. Happy TDOV!
We have always been here and we will always be here!!
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punkitt-is-here · 10 months
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Hey everyone! As MANY of you know following last night...
I am a transgender woman!
Big moment for me! I have been for many years actually, I've been out in my public life offline for quite a while now! But I was always nervous about coming out online, for a myriad of reasons I don't really think I need to get into. But! I'm so glad I could come out in the silliest way possible. I'm super honored by all the sweet messages I've been getting, and it has me incredibly overjoyed that everyone has been so supportive of me. Thank you to everyone who supported me on this silly saga, and I hope it's been worth the wait! It feels REALLY nice to finally be out online, as this was really the last space I wasn't "upfront" about it. As much fun as being a mystery was, I much prefer being explicitly a girl online much like I am in real life.
A couple things!!! I don't want this to be everything about me; it's partially why I didn't come out earlier! I've seen how some audiences make the transness of creators their WHOLE thing, and I'd prefer it not be the thing that defines me. I LOVE being trans, and it's a big part of me, but I'd rather be known as someone who makes really cool art and not "that funny trans woman" (even though I am, hehe). I'm super cool with people talking about my transness, just don't make it the only thing about me!
Two, as fun as the pronoun mystery was, it's officially over! Sorry to the any/all-he/him-they/them punkitt truthers out there, btw. (Excited that my energy really isn't genderable at all, though!) So, even if it was fun that I was a gender mystery, I'd prefer everyone refer to me as she/her exclusively! No he/him, and I'd prefer not to be they/them'd consistently (although I know for some people it's the default and it's fine if it slips, and if someone just doesn't know that's not an issue in the slightest). Even if me being a funny gender wizard is entertaining (and it WAS, lemme tell ya) I want to have my identity respected!
ANYWAY that's all that LAME STUFF out of the way; I want to say thank you to everyone who's helped me along the way and the overwhelming support I've had in the time of me coming out to now. I'm incredibly happy I have an audience of such sweet, caring folks, and I can't wait to make more silly, fun stuff for everyone now that I'm truly allowed to be my silly, fun self online. Have a great one, folks! ❤️
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transmascissues · 3 months
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next time someone tries to tell me people don’t demonize and act violently toward trans men and transmascs, i’m just going to make them read this reply i got to a positivity post that was specifically about trans manhood and transmasculinity. this is basically just every negative thing people say no one says about us rolled into one message that’s aimed directly at us.
and as if this isn’t enough on its own, their whole blog is full of this disgusting shit. it seems to be dedicated to it, actually. (fair warning, don’t look at the next two screenshots if you don’t want to see even more genuinely awful transphobia.)
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you can say what you want about how they’re probably just a troll or baiting or doing this for attention but the fact remains that, regardless of their true intentions, these are real things that a real person is saying about trans men&mascs, publicly and proudly and to our faces because they want it to do damage.
i’ve dealt with people like this before, on a much closer level. when i was a teenager, i had a grown woman come into my dms just to send me very graphic and detailed instructions on how to kill myself. literally entire paragraphs with all of the steps she wanted me to take. before i blocked her, i told her she was lucky she sent it to me and not someone more vulnerable, because otherwise she might have real blood on her hands. she just sent the whole thing again.
we can argue all day about infantilization versus demonization, erasure versus hypervisibility, what counts as violence, what words we use to talk about our oppression, and so on. but the reality is, whether you believe people want us dead or not, they clearly do, and a lot of them really aren’t making any effort to hide it. at this point, if you can’t see it, it’s because you don’t care about our lives enough to look at the reality that’s right in front of your face.
before you do anything else, block this person. don’t engage with them directly, don’t give them the satisfaction of the attention they might be fishing for, just block them. but don’t forget that they exist either, especially if you’re not a trans man or transmasc yourself. don’t just block them and move on and forget that there are real people out there who will say these things about us, who genuinely enjoy the thought that their actions might have deadly consequences.
because these are the people you empower to come out of hiding and start being blatant about their hatred when you insist that no one wants us dead, when you openly mock us and demonize us and try to cast us out from the community that we were supposed to share. when even our own people decide we’re an acceptable target, these bigots throw a fucking party because you’ve just told them they can get away with murder as long as it’s our blood on their hands. this particular blog was started recently, and i guarantee it’s not a coincidence that they started it in the midst of a rise in online anti-transmasculinity.
it really is telling, how much hate a positivity post has incited. y’all can’t stand when we talk about the bad things that happen to us, but you hate our happiness even more.
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stillfacingthesky · 8 months
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being trans is such a mindfuck. nobody knows who i am. i dont need to come out, im fine as i am. i hide behind my clothes. i dont recognise myself in the mirror. i dont know if i ever will. i want to transition. im scared of change. i want to be seen and known. i am in danger. queer joy is beautiful. i am more open than a queer person used to be able to be. someone like me was murdered yesterday. i saw their face on the news, and the reporter used the wrong name. wearing mens’ clothes brings me joy, and the joy is reminiscent of a little girl. i want to be pretty. my skin doesnt fit and my voice is not mine. im scared i might love my father more. i dont need to come out, i can manage this all. im going to die someday anyway, it wont matter. a kid was staring at me in the bookstore today and i saw my past in their eyes. i wonder if they saw their future in mine. i want to be someones boyfriend. i am my brothers sister. all bodies are beautiful except mine. god created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. god hates fags. there is something wrong with me. if i ignore it, itll go away. its not going away. it hasnt gone away in seven years. i dont want to be a stereotype. i love brash vulgarity. my mother thinks i am beautiful. i share her face. i know ill regret it if i never come out. i dont want to waste my life wearing a costume. i dont know if i want to sacrifice the life that ive had for the life i could have. someone out there understands me. someone else would kill me without regret. someone would cry if i was gone. someone would praise my killer as a hero. there are photos and illustrations of people like me in the past. our history has been erased. theyre still trying to erase us. i dont know if the present is worth the future. i want to be happy. i dont feel like i deserve it. ‘female’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘woman’ makes me see stars. i am one but not the other. i am the ghost of the person i want to be. i encourage others and love them regardless. i am a hypocrite. ive been in hiding since i was thirteen. i want to be loud. my mother spent nine months creating me. i will spend the rest of my life creating myself. i am scared. i am angry. i am beautiful and sickening and i want to rip my skin apart to make space for something new. my rage is glorious. they will never understand. i do not need them to. i am so lonely. i am an artist and i want to be a masterpiece. they call my creation mutilation. i dont want to make my parents sad. i want my brother to like me. i am visibly queer. that man shouted at me to smile because he was treating me like a woman. what i have right now is enough. i want more. i don’t know if ill ever have it. if i die tomorrow, i will be buried in a dress. it will be a dress that is already in my closet, a pretty dress that i havent worn in years.
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I think what makes Bridget so darn lovable is how ridiculously happy she is. To me she’s like the essence of trans joy captured and put in a game. She might not be a very realistic depiction of a trans woman but she sure has the joy that comes with being one and being who you really are and that’s why I love her
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gay-otlc · 11 months
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Hi I know you have some experience with changing pronouns etc, and I was wondering (craving validation) is it’s okay for a cis woman (me) who doesn’t identify as trans/nb/genderfluid to use she/they pronouns? Like I considered if anyone used they/them pronouns for me, I would not mind it and in fact maybe enjoy it! But I also like she/her pronouns, and I do identify as a woman so thus the compromise. So I was just wondering if that seemed reasonable or if I’m like trying a new fad or being insensitive in other ways. Thanks!
Anon, you can use whatever pronouns make you happy! It's not insensitive, it's not like you're taking something away from the trans/nonbinary community- there are enough pronouns for everyone. If you think you'd enjoy being referred to with she/they pronouns, then go for it.
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yamujiburo · 6 months
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I was talking about your art with my sister, talking about team rocket in the anime and showing her some of your art. My mother overheard this and told me that when I was a young kid and talking about team rocket I said "I wish i was married to james" and that was when my mom had to explain that most people were heterosexual (6 year old me somehow didnt know). Then i responded with "Okay. I wish i was jessie so i was married to james". I dont know how it took 12 years after that to realize i was a trans woman. When I figured out I liked women was around the same time you converted me to hanamusa shipping (i still like rocketshipping though). I love seeing identity explored with your pokemon art and want to thank you for indirectly leading me to learn this story.
"Okay. I wish i was jessie so i was married to james" OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS HAHAHA. 6 year old you was so real. i love that team rocket being peoples' gay/trans awakening is such a common occurance
i'm so glad you can kinda relate to these lil comics! makes me happy to hear~
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youthofpandas · 2 months
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Call Her Ishmael (or: a trans reading of one of my favorite Limbus characters)
Hi, I have been thinking about writing something like this since Canto V first released and today I finally felt inspired to actually make this... A compilation of the parts of Ishmael's story that lead me to reading her as trans <3 and why I think that understanding her character though that lens works so well
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We begin with a woman stuck in the mundane. No plans for the future, no dreams of a life beyond the one she is currently living in, and that life is one she has long grown tired of. And she decides she would rather quit living that life, even if it would kill her. Everyone told her not to do this, but she wanted (needed) to do something new with her life.
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She finds Ahab here, when she is at this low where she is unsure of where to go from here now that she has cast her old life away. She looks at Ahab and sees a woman with goals, determination, serious plans for the future she is willing to commit to. And she wants to be just like that woman. She wants to be a woman who will choose what her destiny is, choose what life she has.
"I hoped to be like her one day. To be someone who will face the destiny of her own choosing. To have something I could give it my all with conviction and without a moment of hesitation."
And when she gets on that boat and starts this new chapter in her life, well. There she meets Queequeg, and is asked for her name...
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Queequeg asking her name, something that surprises Ishmael, and complimenting her hair is a defining moment in Ishmael's life and in their relationship. And not only is it the first conversation they have, it is the also last thing Queequeg asks of her. To hear Ishmael's name one more time is something that will bring not only herself comfort, but she knows will stabilize Ishmael as well in this moment. That it will bring her back to when they had first met, to the fond memories of a good friend who had asked for her name. Ishmael's name, her identity, the one she forged on that boat even through great difficulty is what shaped her into being herself... That is how their relationship begins and ends...
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There is also a recurring theme of being reborn, of happiness being found in another life that is kinder to them both. Ishmael dreams of a life where they can break out of their cocoons. She wants to bury her past and had no dreams of the future before joining the Pequod, before meeting Queequeg and finding someone she wants a future with. Through Queequeg, through the woman who thinks her hair is the brilliant color of sunset and asked for her name, Ishmael is capable of imagining a destiny of her own choosing just like she had wanted when she met Ahab. (She isn't able to chase after it, not yet, because of Ahab's influence over the Pequod, but she for the first time can at least dream of a future where she is happy)
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When tragedy strikes, she is left as, in her mind, the sole survivor of the crew, she has lost Queequeg, lost Ahab, lost her chance at finding happiness and purpose. It's then that she takes Queequeg's rope (the thing that kept her alive! Queequeg throughout their time knowing each other is always there to save her and help her keep on living) and makes it into a headband, attaches cute bows to it, a bit of femininity that is intrinsically attached to the woman who helped save her. She grows out her hair, her beautiful sunset colored hair, and it is so heart warming. For a long time I assumed that her not cutting her hair was done out of mourning, out of an unwillingness to move on from the life she had on that ship, but instead it was because Queequeg had loved her and she had loved her friend in kind.
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In conclusion I love Ishmael very much and I like to rotate her around. Everything from her metaphors of being stuck in a cocoon and wanting to break free, her envy of Ahab's ability to find purpose so easily, her relationship with Queequeg that helped inspire her to dream for more to dream of a future where she is happy,, it is all very good and to me reading her as trans strengthens the themes of her story. I've watched the final part of the Canto V dungeon several times over when my friends arrive at that part of the story, and the Call Me Ishmael line always makes me start tearing up.
Ishmael starts as an unhappy office worker with no future and it is a life she cannot continue living, she meets an older woman who has the drive and passion to chase after her goals and wants to be like her when she is older, she has a life defining moment where another woman asks for her name and wants to be good friends with her, that woman will save her in so many ways and she will love that woman so deeply for how she helped influence her life, she sees herself trapped in a cocoon and wants to break free, she dreams of her and that woman will persevere, how they will live out the rest of their days, countless mirror worlds of happiness spent at each other's side. She starts the game proper with her hair grown long, ribbons attached to a rope that helped save her that represents the woman who had saved her before. She ends her chapter finding a new adventure to go on, one will she get to explore the world she lives in, she has found a compass in Dante who will help her chart her path forward.
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Also I know we all make jokes about how inconsistent the art is when it comes to her chest but like... Come on look at the difference here.... I'm correct about this. But I mostly wanted to make this post to point out that her narrative arc is also trans and it goes so much deeper than just art inconsistencies.
Okay that's all I can think of now, thank you for reading, I hope you all also love her <3
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