#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']

#Serving Jesus realness #star trek screenshots #Janeway #iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands #I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals #Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic #honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE #Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar #AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core #also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth #I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true #the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead #and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh. #Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine #Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!! #great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3 #anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that #doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits #Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!

[justaredheadf1fan]

And the boys are Bak-u! (don't kill me for this one)

Masterlist

I had to make the obvious joke everyone has made in the last few days 😙 I wouldn't have been happy otherwise hehehe

Before getting into it, I wanted to share my absolute obsession after Barcelona, I've been searching for the cheapest race to go to besides Barcelona like a woman possessed; how much are tickets for Monaco and Bakú my beloveds, the Grand Stand tickets for Barcelona because we are a couple of ladies and have decided that next next we'll rock it better, and so on like I need something to quench my thirst, but with Formula 1. Does that even make sense at all? Who cares, because I clearly DON'T.

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Well, today started the first weekend I'll be missing F1 live, and I can't handle it. I was supposed to be free today so I was bound to watch FP1 and FP2 (since I'll have Fridays free every week, while I'll have to work through the weekends from now on), but had to cover for someone and leave my free day for a better time in July. While working, I could hear someone blasting FP1 across the street and I saw a couple of Ferrari fans on my way to work, so I was just craving the possibility of watching it properly, honestly.

I'm currently watching the press rounds where Lewis and Seb are on opposite sites of their group. Pity we don't get to see them together much these days 🥲 Good thing they still (obviously) keep serving cunt, which I love to see everytime. After Ben Sulayem's words a few days ago especially, I'm happy to see that they keep not giving a shit about the FIA's stupidity. Kings 👑

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I'm now starting with FP1 while I think about dinner (because why would I just have dinner when I can just do nothing?) and my poor Mick had to retire already because of a water leak apparently. My poor baby, at least now they can't be mad at him 😅

There's one thing I still can't wrap my head around, how the fuck is it possible that the porpoising hasn't been dealt with already? Drivers have been complaining about it since day 1 and it's still going on. FIA what the fuck! Do this people really care that little about this guys' lives? Jesus fucking Christ, it's crazy seeing them bouncing so horribly all the time, and this is already the 8th race. They need a solution, they're gonna have permanent damage otherwise, I'm afraid.

The only upside to this is seeing hilarious comments like the one Gasly made. Maybe it's just my dirty mind at work but I just couldn't hold my laughter at work when I read it. I love you Pierre, you're amazing 😂

For what I've always heard about Baku so far, taking into account I haven't seen a race in this track due to my F1 hiatus, this is looking pretty uneventful so far, right? At least in FP1, maybe FP2 changes my mind a bit but, besides the tremendous porpoising and Verstappen still having DRS problems, there's nothing interesting going on after 59 minutes. Or maybe that's because I was expecting absolute chaos 🤷🏻‍♀️ So, now preparing dinner sounds about right!

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I've started FP2 while I eat something and boy that plastic bag might just be the surprise I needed for this practice session after all 😂

I have to say that this track looks pretty awesome, it seems to have everything and appears to be very interesting on its own. Maybe the nicest street circuit on the calendar right now. It's a shame I'll have to watch the race right after I finish work on Sunday (the perks of not working remotely anymore 🤧)

Leclerc going off track is giving me whiplash at this rate, every Friday he goes off track or he spins somewhere at some point and I want to kill him 😂 And half the drivers have gone off track on the same corner by now, where most of them have had to back up before getting back on track, and I can't imagine how scary that must be with how big the cars are and how little they must see when doing it. It gave me a chance to see the Aston Martin more closely tho, when Stroll went bye-bye, and I still think the AM is the sexiest car this year. What a beauty.

Nothing eventful really for today. Which might be a good thing after last week. Tomorrow I'll watch FP3 and Quali much like today, just after I get back after work. I'll suffer through my 8 hours until I can launch myself onto my bed with the laptop in front of me.

Peace out until tomorrow!

#f1 #formula 1 #mercedes amg f1 #scuderia ferrari #aston martin racing #haas f1 team #mclaren f1 racing #alfa romeo racing #alpine f1 team #scuderia alpha tauri #williams racing #sir lewis hamilton #George Russell #Charles Leclerc #Carlos saint jr #sebastian vettel #lance stroll #mick schumacher #kevin Magnussen #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #zhou guanyu #valtteri bottas #esteban ocon #fernando Alonso #pierre gasly #yuki tsunoda #alex albon #nicholas latifi #azerbaijan gp 2022

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Hiiii! Can you please do the NSFW A-Z for Zoro? 💕

Hello! Thanks for waiting so patiently for this, I’ve been working on it in between shifts and breaks and all that haha much easier to do the whole thing if you do it in chunks rather than all at once! I hope you enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Considering that he falls asleep pretty much instantly, he’s not too good about aftercare; he’s absolutely down for cuddles though, and will likely even seek his partner out in his sleep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On his partner: He’s an ass man, he just really loves touching/grabbing/squeezing/whatever-ing his partner’s butt. 

On himself: So this’ll be hard to explain, but Zoro doesn’t really have a favorite part of his own body. Not because he’s unhappy with how he looks or anything to do with that, after all he puts a lot of work into keeping his body strong and in shape; but it’s all a vessel for his dream of being the World’s Greatest Swordsman. The closest thing you could come to for an answer would be his muscles, but that’s only because they’re the physical embodiment of what he can do as a fighter. He doesn’t attribute any emotion to his physical form, it’s all just hardware.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Considering how grossly filthy Zoro is at pretty much any given time, he has zero qualms about getting cum everywhere. Please spray him with a hose (honestly just spray him with a hose even without the sex, the man only bathes once a week, and that's a crime) 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Zoro actually really likes getting pegged (when he's with a woman), and when he's with a male partner he actually tends to bottom. It's not something he's ashamed of, per se, but it's not something most would think when they look at him, so it can be a bit of a surprise

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Zoro has zero experience, but once he finds someone he wants to be with he's ready and willing to learn the ropes. He approaches it just as earnestly as his regular training (though with a few more blushes of course). He mostly just needs to be guided through at first; his instincts are pretty sharp, and they’ll kick in pretty easily.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He's fine either being on top or bottom, but his favorite positions are ones that let his partner grip him to the point of scratching him. Feeling their nails dig into his skin is a pretty big turn on and just gets him going even more than he already was. He's also a fan of sex while standing up, and he can easily hold up his partner's body while he's slamming into them. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's unintentionally goofy, as in he's totally serious about everything he says and does, but the things he's saying and doing are so ridiculously silly that the whole thing ends up being hilarious. As he gets more comfortable having sex, he'll stop getting so embarrassed when his partner starts giggling at his antics, and he'll even be silly on purpose. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It's a mess down there, and to be honest he can't be bothered to trim it. Maybe if he's asked really nicely (aka threatened) he'll do something about it, but otherwise it's staying a mess. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Zoro is just downright affectionate during sex. Even if it's super kinky sex, he's finding every opportunity he can to kiss his partner, whether it be on the mouth, back, shoulder, stomach, or just wherever he can reach; he just wants them as close as possible. He's so intense about it. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he's not interested in anyone in particular, he can go quite a while without masturbating; he even considers it a form of discipline training (how long can I deal with the fact that I'm horny right now, and can I hold off long enough for it to just go away?). It can become harder to keep his focus when he is interested in someone, but either way he's no stranger to masturbation. As long as he's alone and no one can hear him, he's fine.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Zoro's down to try anything once, but the one thing he knows for sure he likes (after trying it) is anal, both giving and receiving. Also impact play (on himself, though if his partner's into it he's up for that as well) 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere he knows he won't be walked in on; he's really got no particular preference on location. He'll try to stick to comfortable places (like a couch or a bed) whenever possible for his partner's sake, but comfort isn't an issue for him as long as it's private. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He gets turned on the most when his adrenaline is high; so after working out, after a battle, things like that. His blood's already pumping, and then afterwards he can settle down for a nap. Win-win!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won't do public sex; not because he's embarrassed about his performance or anything like that (after all, it's one more thing he can lord over a certain cook), but he's a private person. Others don't need to see how he acts with his partner in their intimate moments, and nobody except him gets to see his partner in that situation.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Zoro loves receiving, he goes just absolutely wild for it; but he definitely gives as good as he gets. The man can hold a whole ass sword in his jaw, and can even hold a clear conversation while doing so! He can go for a long time without his jaw getting tired, and he’s...dextrous? Shall we say? He also can absolutely talk to his partner while he’s going down on them, which the first time he did that was definitely a shock, but after that he occasionally just...says something (about the weather for instance), just to be silly. What a dork.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He is the definition of "fast and rough", he's relentless. But, there's passion in what he does, and that's its own kind of sensuality. He can go slower if his partner would like, but he has to physically slow himself down as it's not his default setting

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Zoro has no problem with quickies. If it's a matter of "we have about 5 minutes before someone walks in here but we're both horny", that seems like an easy decision for him. He does still prefer to take his time with his partner though, so he might find them again later, time permitting. It's also going to be very rough, and may leave his partner a tad sore for a while afterwards. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as the risk isn't "let's see if we can fuck without getting caught" he's fine, and even then it's mostly that he doesn't wanna be caught with his pants around his ankles in an emergency. But honestly, this is Zoro; what's life without a little risk?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Zoro has ridiculous amounts of stamina. Sex can end up lasting a pretty long time with him, so hydrate well before and after. It'll lead to some nice sleep afterwards, though.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own toys, but if his partner has them he's more than happy to try using them. It's all part of the learning/training process for him. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Zoro would like to tease, and he gives it a fair shot, but he usually can't hold himself back for very long to really make it worth it. He just wants to taste and feel every inch of his partner's body, and he loves the sounds they make when he's pleasuring them. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

If/When he’s being teased, or just during foreplay when his partner is touching him or blowing him or grinding on him or whatever they may be doing, Zoro downright whimpers. He’s trying so hard to remain in control of himself, but when he feels good it’s harder and harder for him to remain disciplined, and those little sounds just slip out of him (especially pre-timeskip, before he’s had further training with Mihawk; he’s much less self-controlled then). He’s pretty embarrassed by it though, so don’t tease him about it (but feel free to continue teasing him in other ways hehehe). Otherwise he's pretty loud anyway, but not much for words; it's just a bunch of noisy grunts and caveman noises. He's so noisy!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Surprising probably no one, Zoro is a bit of a masochist! Nothing too crazy, but the slight sting of pain during foreplay and sex is a huge turn on for him, and drives him absolutely wild. It's part of why battle gets him worked up. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His penis is pretty average in length and girth, with a slight curve to the left. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He's pretty good at staving off the urges, but his sex drive is remarkably high. He's honestly always DTF, so long as circumstances permit it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He passes right out, sorry. He’s just exerted a lot of energy and stamina, no different than when he trains and works out, and he celebrates by taking a nice nap. He’ll be up again soon though, he never sleeps for very long.

#roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro headcanons #not safe #one piece #one piece headcanons #thanks for the ask! #anon asks #and with this we complete the trifecta of 'One Piece Boys I'd Smash If Given The Chance' lmfao #more soft/bottom Zoro please...