#how to be productive in the morning

[front-facing-pokemon]

#noivern #one of my all-dragon team's staples! thus i have a soft spot for this pokémon. not really for any other reason than that #just a cool badass design. big bat dragon. objectively badass #though i think it should be a dragon/dark type instead of dragon/flying. hydreigon typing #also hi it's me from the future. a few hours before this posts. i just want to complain a little bit #about how fucking difficult this is getting now that i'm getting into alolan forms in the queue #i don't. fucking. know how to use blender. this is kicking my ass. i spent like two hours this morning just trying to get those alolan form #working. and i didn't even successfully do that for two of them #so if you like alolan forms i am Really sorry but they are not gonna be up to par for the production value i have set for myself on this #blog. i've fuckin doomed myself by getting this much of a following and i know i can't get away with the same shit i used to #be able to so like. just fuckin bear with me please it's turning into a whole wreck here in the future in gen 7

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Thr thing abt me is that I want to know exactly how psychiatric medications work. I don't want the simplified version. Dont give me the "I'm talking to the public" answers. I want the specific mechanisms and how exactly it causes its side effects.

#but i dont wanna read the papers lol. i just find it fascinating #g protein coupled receptors my beloved #i got like 5hrs sleep which provided ample time to talk my self into and out of stopping medication bc its been giving me internal #restlessness. muscle weakness. and heart palpations. which the heart thing was freaking me out but i also get them linked with my #cycle and doctors dont seem concerned. i think i figured out why. the abilify is blocking the dopamine receptors that inhibit prolactin #production. which is making my estrogen levels drop which is y i get heart palpitations sometimes. science. ans it makes me feel better #abt staying on the meds. but i got side tracked #trying to understand how abilify is proscribed for major depression #i assume it must hold dopamine at a certain level but idk #part of thr problem is that its really complicated and no one entriely understands how it works #but i took thr meds this morning ;-] #unrelated

[belligerentbagel]

even Atlas has only two hands

vent art

#this one's for all the teachers out there #horror cw #hands cw #draws #after 2.5 years of caution and masking everywhere; i tested positive for covid on wednesday morning (first day of fall semester) 😔 #at earliest; i can be back in the classroom on monday #wednesday itself was an absolutely horrible 24 hours (but admittedly the anatomist side of me has been going 'ah! physiological data!') #but thursday and friday were a grim indicator of how much capitalism has rotted my brain #because after getting through 24 hours of a MASSIVE illness with undetermined long-term effects; i felt compelled to return to the #6-hr-sleep 18-hr-waking cycle that i was accustomed to; out of GUILT for falling behind in work #(note: i was NOWHERE near 100% back on thursday. i could have charitably been put at 50% - still headaches & fatigue & productive coughs) #a friend had to very sternly tell me 'you cannot solve structural problems through constant 80-hour-week heroic measures' #'you especially cannot do this when you are recovering from a debilitating illness which has the potential to remain a - #- serious lingering problem if you overwork yourself' #like. gods. yeah. it's not my fault that my classrooms are stuffed to the student maximum that our union has valiantly maintained #it's not my fault that the district only gave us one pre-semester prep day; meaning that my room & plans were left unfinished before day one #and - even bigger; it's not my fault that public health in the US is careening into 'can we pretend hard enough like nothing's happening' #my students will have a milquetoast start this fall semester. that is fine. #their teacher might not be able to stand and talk for longer than ten minutes at a time #i will do what i can. i still care about them. i am reading their introduction emails and smiling a bunch. #but i refuse to allow myself to be consumed in order to keep this fire lit.

[lyril]

when you get into a piece of art / media, do you usually take interest in the creative voices and crew behind the scenes, such as voice actors / storyboarders / writers on a TV show and such?

if not, feel free to tell me about any exceptions

#talk #personally spent my morning going through a book on adventure time production #because i wanted to know how jesse moynihan got on the show LOL #i'm gonna read the whole thing soon though #i really like magic man and i appreciate how much of himself he put in the show so i end up talking about him often #and voice actors like steve little terrorizing me in these early episodes

[rui-drawsbox]

Comm for @ tristeeV3! Astarion's outfit is a challenge fr

#rui draw smth #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 #astarion #astarion x tav #tav #art commisions #commission #last night i went late to sleep and today i didn't noticed the alarm #and my mom actually forgot i was supposed to wake up so i just--sleeped in for an hour and half #it's not that much but *do you know how productive i can be in one hour* #at first hour of the morning not a lot ofc but i usually go autopilot when im drawing so in one hour i have two 2FB linearts #(usually) #rui chambea

[herines-harasaeon]

do not go north

**

@tbos-main

#that phrase has NOTTTT left my HEAD since i read it. i hope u know how insane it is i was in a GENETICS EXAM this morning thinking abt it 😭 #the reference i used for this was a still from a stage production of romeo and juliet and this woman's face HAUNTS ME. BIBLICAL emotion #anyway this is meant to be interpreted kind of any way u want like is it sayna predicting the moment she will save drako? #is it her desperation before hammari cuts out her tongue? as she tries to save rin? is she mourning him or herself? #or drako? is she trying to save herines or is she saving a harasaeon and dooming a harasaeon at the same time? #hahahahahaha! 😃😃😃 this makes me genuinely SICKKKKK #also it's really rough bc again i was doing this in 15 minute bursts between revising population genetics lmao 😭 #ALSO ALSO i really like the gold bc in my head it's kind of the burden of prophecy? which is why it's almost dragging her shoulders down #like she's resisting it #ANYWAY #i also couldn't find a visual description of sayna so i kind of just winged it and i may redraw this lol #also i love how? haunting? the emptiness of the background is lol like she's centre stage in a play with no audience #no one is watching. divinity has abandoned you <3 #i need to stoppppp. insane series ❗❗

[xray-vex]

HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

#literally. re: email from my ex this morning #every day it takes every ounce of mental and emotional strength i have to get my ass out of bed and face the day #today i begin packing to move the fuck out of here #everything fucking hurts and i hate this so much #i'm not feeling brave about any of this #one of the worst things about a breakup is that it damages you for any potential future relationships #in the sense that “how can i ever trust anyone with my heart and my love ever again?” #as if it's not bad enough losing someone you thought would be in your life forever #but the deeply cutting betrayal of finding out that this person you actually trusted with your literal life had led you on FOR YEARS #ESPECIALLY in the sense that this whole scenario is giving me intense flashbacks to the ending of another relationship #that broke me so bad it almost killed me #and it's easy for them to say “i hope you find someone who makes you happy” when they have someone new in their life #if i believed i had prospects for a new romantic relationship then it would be a little easier for me to collect myself & regroup & move on #but i don't think i have it in me to go thru any of this again #and that gives me even more layers of anger and rage and grief #as if it wasn't enough to betray me and break my fucking heart #but it broke me FOR ANY FUTURE LOVE AND HAPPINESS TOO #i know it's not productive for me to think that way #but right now i am fucking drowning in my fucking pain and fucking grief and fucking rage #i wanted stability and love and trust and someone to come home to every night and someone to come home to me every night #i just wanted to love and be loved #i wanted someone who i could call home #I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED #rage #grief #trauma #edward teach #our flag means death #ofmd

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[thoughtsaboutsnape]

I've been watching a lot of productivity videos lately as in trying to be more productive with my time. Most of them have been really interesting and helped a lot.

But there's a whole area of morning routine videos where I swear they don't have real jobs because their routine is like this:

6am wake up, do 10mins of journalling

6:10am yoga on the balcony/outside

6:30am cold shower, beauty regime

7am make coffee with a coffee machine with more features than the lunar rocket

7:15am ridiculously healthy breakfast

8am do emails

Whereas mine is:

6am alarm goes off. Have existential crisis for fifteen minutes

6:15am undignified flop out of bed. Brush teeth, sunscreen, deodorant. Get confused by socks.

6:30am feed guinea pigs, take meds. 10mins of existential crisis.

7am rush out of door in a panic only to discover train is late/cancelled.

What do these people do which makes them morning people? When do they have their existential crises?

#not a thought about snape #productivity #morning routines #seriously how... #what do all the buttons on the coffee machine d

[froggieknight]

you guys ever go to a protest and get a chant stuck in ur head ??

#BC I CANT STOP IT ITS JUST FROM TEH RIVER TO THE SEA PALESTINE WILL BE FREE FROM THE SEA TO THE RIVER PALESTINE QILL LIVE FOREVER #while i'm just making my beans on toast #i had a very productive day ! went to the gym this morning with a fiend that taught me how to lift weights and then had soup for lunch and #then a protest in the freezing rain yippee #god the world makes me sick it's nice to be part of a collective action :')

[boxwinebaddie]

okay don’t hold me to it but i think i might try actually writing stuff again bc that was so fun for me

#i hate being busy bc like contrary to pop belief #i do really love writing #especially nice formal stuff w dialogue and the italics and stuff #it’s just time consuming and very meitculous #also w the volume of my asks i can’t write everything out like that #but i might rework some of the spicy dialogue and post it written out maybe #or drop u guys some tkak or something idk #i am feeling inspired what can i say #me: looks at the ravenstan teaching jerseykyle how to take a thirst trap dialogue in my notes #me: interesting #BUT YEAH SEND IN REQUESTS IF U WANT THEM #I AM !!! VERY HAPPY THIS MORNING #THEY CANCELLED WORK BC OF THE WEATHER SO I AM PRODUCTIVE AND SMILEY #hopefully this is not a manic episode on the rise #also just writing stuff on here #and on the docs #im sorry y’all the perception on ao3 #idk if i can be that girl on there again #ON HERE THO?!! ABSOLUTELY #UNCLE NINA WRITING #also i am possibly being mentally ill #but ik u guys like my content on a characterization level #BUT LIKE IS MY ACTUAL WRITING GOOD #I CANT TELL IF WHEN I POST SOMETHING IT SOUNDS GOOD OR IS WELL WRITTEN #anyways slay neens inferiority complex #I THINK I RHYME TOO MUCH #I FEEL LIKE I MAKE TOO MANY PUNS #or the actions are too long and people forget what i was writing abt #i hate my life lmao #everyone point and laugh

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes i find the degree to which i cannot concentrate very alarming #like bro i canno read. i have so much to do but i wanna sleep forever #i just have to get up and go somewhere else. normally id go transfer algae or run but im stuck inside and .y fingers r all cold #usually its just in the morning that I get thr high distress so its prob the meds #but yesterday was kinda fucked. ugh.i just need to run around but i cant #i have such a sinister combo of: brain stops me from being able to b productive and if im not productive i am compelled to do horrible #things. mood issues and 0cd is horrible. horrible feedback loop #i just wish i could breathe. itll b fine. eventually itll b summer again and itll b fine #its like someone's squeezing my throat. like im sick but i kno its just that im anxious #i was doing so well the past few days in terms of reading and productivity despite the distress #and im trying to b kind and roll with the punches but its so hard #like i kno i need to relax and not resist bc resistance makes it worse but it's just hard and im worried this is how itll always b #i wish i could go back on lamicta1. i felt way better on low dose of that then i do on low dose of abi1ify. its so hard to stay on this #just bc of how my head works. and like things were complicated with the lamicta1. maybe i wouldnt habe had a reaction if i didnt get a #tatto0 while upping the dose but now im marked as allergic so i prob wont b allowed to try any of thr anti convulsive type antidepressants #ugh. i hate this. its so frustrating #unrelated

[theworldinclines]

1st June 2023:

IG Stories: mmarkpkk

IG: ninewpinya - "Read through & Workshop #onlyfriendsseries"

#first of all i predicted firstmark this morning to ali i have receipts to prove it. im hollering sjfmsnsnzmdm #how to process #cast #directors #insta #mark pakin kunaanuwit #neo trai nimtawat #first kanaphan puitrakul #khaotung thanawat rattanakitpaisan #book kasidet plookphol #force jiratchapong srisang #ninew pinya chookamsri #neomark #firstkhao #forcebook #neobook #forcekhao #firstmark #only friends pre production

[izzy-b-hands]

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even' #she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know. #the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's. #i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything???? #why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

Does J kinda give anyone else Screaming Death vibes or is it just me?

#Murder Drones #Liam Vickers Animation #Glitch Productions #How to Train Your Dragon #HtTYD #DreamWorks Dragons #Riders of Berk #Defenders of Berk #Serial Designation J #Murder Drones J #Screaming Death #Dragons #IDK it's just something about her #This may or may not have something to do with my MD/HtTYD fusion AU #I PROMISE I'M WORKING ON IT #Went to get cavities filled this morning #Now I've got some kinda metal cap thing on one tooth #And the numbness still hasn't worn off #Straight From the Dragon's Mouth