#i dont know what to do now i feel sick

[knife-enby]

.

#vent #this was the wrong fucking night for that to happen #my head hurts from how hard ive been crying #im Still crying but im trying to stop bc my nose got so stuffed i couldnt breathe at all #i dont know what to do now i feel sick #i know this is probably really stupid from an external pov #but it was really important to me #and i was trying so hard to cope with how i was feeling earlier #and then this happens

[lemongogo]

trying 2 be normalabt dunmesh but its im like

#like its all i want to talkabt rn. HAHAHADHHA LIKE HOWWDW WAS I STRUGGLIJNG TO GET INTO IT FOR SO LONG AHAGHAHGAHAHAHAH #like now that im in it.right.im like obiovsu.ly. of COURSEE. #man.MAN. MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!idek what to say #i feel like i dont have much thematic commentary on it yet .maybe when i read it a second time #but rn its like.i will just see it and i wnt 2 explode.so bad. there is dynamite under my skin #and i need to dtraw it i want to draw it but i cant bc im like in that stage wherelike i wanmt do so much #do i finish reading it do i go back to the last few chapters and take in the paneling #do i rewatch the earlier episodes .i needf #to draw laios like trigger draws laios.or ill be sick. i need like their .anatomy knowledge #ohh my god.rh #im sitting at work like these ppl dont know dunmesh ....and in traffic like these ppl dont know dunmesh.andat the grocery store like these #ppl dont know dunmesh.and i have 2 actlike i dont either. i need inrls w the same interests PLEASE !! PLEASE #dunmeshi

[todayisafridaynight]

no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀 #excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ... #him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him... #this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do .... #and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

[kil9]

everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\

#99.txt #im so sick of this #you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be #any negative reprocusions of that................ #i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like #''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.'' #on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ? #some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ? #someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like. #whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one ! #we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up #then ur just gona get more people hurt #i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!! #if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!! #but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind #this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes #im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pippuns]

i think the funniest flavor of liujiu for me is one where sj goes into it like "ah yes I am going to EXPLOIT lqg's feelings and EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE him for my own protection and safety" but he catches feelings hard and doesn't realize this for several years. one day he has a crisis at 4am about the fact that he does actually experience positive emotions towards lqg and frantically wakes lqg up to say "i. i think i love you. what the fuck", to which lqg is like "we've been married for five years. what are you talking about."

#not the only flavor!! just the funniest one #welcome to lyf's 3am thoughts #sj: lqg is rich and powerful and im gonna get a shotgun marriage with him so he cant drop me bc hes too stupid to realize im just using him #also sj: i dont know why i feel warm and fuzzy when he smiles at me bc ive experienced happiness maybe twice in my life. i must be sick #sj: good thing i have a husband that i TOTALLY DONT CARE FOR to send on errands to get me a cure for this weird fuzzy chest feeling #sj: fuck that backfired. now i have more weird fuzzy chest things. what the fuck. #do you see my vision #pip speaks

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐 #HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances- #and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay” #and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[softshuji]

eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh

#i just find it like so unfair yknow #im the only one who works in myhouse and full time #but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put #my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but #i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger #its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad #and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility #and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough #and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother #said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9 #and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time #constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers #and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either #its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they #cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything. #like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl #thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on #im just tired and upset #its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else. #and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing #im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf #oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this #and yk what #thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is #i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return #or if not #theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them #i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me #its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

#sophie speaks #tw vent #like. what. what??? #i do try not to upset anyone with trauma dumping or whatever but sometimes that bites me in the ass because people assume I'm not strugglin #struggling hugely #had one of my most violent meltdowns ever recently and it was after pushing myself to do something #and you know. thats on me #but saying like #im NOT trying?? #i dont want to start any problems but oh my GOD what do you think being sick constantly does to a person #what??? #trying to be a proper adult here but i am quite upset #idk how are you supposed to deal with shit like this #express this has upset you and that you are having a hard time #but then they dont believe you?? #trauma dump it is. hope you enjoy my psychiatrists notes #like im level 2 support needs autistic. i need a little fucking leeway or i genuinely try to kill myself #i KNOW its pathetic i KNOW its weak but my number one priority is keep myself alive #im so tired #ive been suicidal for like 7 years now #my life sucks so incredibly hard and I'm in constant pain and that just #it doesnt make me willing to deal with this shit #cripplepunk core lmao #cripple and im going to kill you #this is just geniunely upsetting #i feel like i need a good cry #i really am so tired #i feel like i just dont want to do this #why am i paying for this? why am i doing this? #if im not enjoying this why the fuck would i do it

[todayisafridaynight]

Going off the rules of sonic heroes if we were to trioize the jimas saejima’d obvi fit the power role but now we have to ask what roles majima and daigo fit cause on the one hand i believe majima could pilot a helicopter if he wanted to but on the other hand attributing ‘fly’ to daigo is another case of cruel and unusual punishment

#snap chats #i was gonna say ‘speed’ usually is given to the leader but vectors the leader of the chaotix not espio #vector my best friend …….. #im gonna say majima can get fly cause of that helicopter bullshit he do. you can have that majima #daigo just feels like hes too ‘balanced’ of a guy to be speed tho …. oh well #speed for. WR in how quick you can get shot into your chairmanship idk #FASTEST HAND IN THE EAST WAIT naw we got it. it checks out #well done team our impulsive assignment spurred by a tweet has been done efficiently #its so funny calling the jimas a trio cause since KH im lowkey sick of the word trio 💀💀💀 #i dont even know why ….. it just irked me after a while ….. #doesnt make any sense literally nonsensical it was just a feeling id get #thats what i hate about feelings you cant explain or justify them cause Theyre Feelings tf #you can TRY to explain them but theyre involuntary in the end and theres no objective cause for them. do we know what im saying. #im gonna go work now bye

[bunnihearted]

.

#1st ​my sister was passive aggressive bc i was boiling pasta when she wanted to make her dinner #so she slammed stuff nd chopped veggies aggressively #nd i felt my heart rate spike nd my body go tense nd i always get clumsy nd drop things nd hurt myself when i get that way #but they think i deserve feeling awful bc of mistakes in the past so i cant ask them to stop #i've been walking around w lots of heavy things nd im barely keeping it together #nd i got so mad bc she wouldnt stop so i started slamming the cabinets nd then left when i was done #then my mom nd other sister got home nd i just wanted to ask my mom smth #when i open my door my other sister goes 'omfg already?' #'immediately when we get home i never get a break. it's almost disgusting' #i just got so.. i realized how pathetic nd childish i am so i just went into my room #but then apparently my sister said to mom that *i* was the only one being passive aggressive #so she comes in to talk when i was having my dinner so i said that i plz just wnna eat my dinner #she didnt know nd she's never cared but i wanted to hurt myself so badly i was struggling not to #but then she started screaming at me for being childish nd passive aggressive nd that i never do anything #she left my room. she still talks to my sisters so i know it's onlg me shes sick of #idk.. today is bad bc i cant talk to her nd i dont have ANYONE else to talk to im all alone #and now i barely even wanna go outside my room bc apparently my family thinks i wnna mess w them just for going to the bathroom lmao #i hate myself so much. im so pathetic. im 25yrs old living at home being a burden #nd im just a pathetic nd childish person. i 'need' to talk nd vent nd rant nd #like if i buy some things i have these need to like do a mini haul or if i get books from the library #i wnna show my mom what books i got #it's so childish. i do feel bad for my mom to have to deal w me nd my annoying personality #why cant i jusy be normal. no wonder why i can never keep friends or my family doesnt wnna talk to me. everything abt me fkn sucks #anyway im just feeling so bad and so alone bc my moms mad at me so now i have no one to talk to

[jadewritesficshere]

Spirit Animal

Summary: this is simply high ramblings with the guys.

Eddie Munson x Reader x Steve Harrington (can be considered platonic or romantic)

Content warnings: just some weed

All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been at Family Video, picking up a movie to watch with the boys later. You had been having random conversations with Robin when she brought up a topic you had never thought of before. Robin had pointed out that some people resemble their animals (like Janice from the trailer park who looked like her Shih Tzu), which made her think that you could assign a person an animal. "Like if you died and got reincarnated or some shit, you come back as that animal. It has to be like your spirit animal! It would suck if I came back as a Robin just cause thats my name..." You had laughed a bit but the thought had stayed with you.

It had stuck with you so much you actually were categorizing your friends as animals now. Which led to later that night, sitting in your apartment with Steve and Eddie, passing a joint around. Eddie was leaning against the couch, with one leg straight out in front of him and the other curled towards him. Steve was laying on his side on the couch. You were sitting next to Eddie facing him, but if you turned your head right, Steve and your faces would meet.

Eddie was absolutely the most sober out of you and Steve. You were trying your best, but fuck if you weren't giggling (and you don't giggle). You looked over at Steve, who had a small grin and glassy eyes. You looked at Eddie, who wiggled his eyebrows st you before crossing his eyes, making you giggle more. Eddie grinned taking another drag from the joint. He had shed his jacket and vest, his arms on full display along with his tattoos. Eddie thought you were simply staring at his bare arms and his tattoos, so he was slightly flexing for you. Meanwhile, you were staring thinking about the topic Robin had brought up earlier, not even noticing him flexing.

You nodded once and then twice to yourself before blurting out," Hedgehog." Both boys turned to you with confusion plainly written on their faces. "Sorry, what was that sweetheart?" Eddie asked as you paused before shaking your head. "No wait does that even work?" you mumbled resting your head on your hand. "Babe, what are you talking about?" Steve asked, pushing some hair out of your face so he could see you fully.

After explaining the whole concept to them that Robin brought up ("Which Robin is totally not a bird like sure that's her name but like she isn't! She's like...like a honeybee! She's sweet and always buzzing around, and she's like and like yeah and honey and like..." "You lost your train of thought didn't you?" "No no they have a point."). "So wait... you think one of us is a rodent?" Steve asked wrinkling his nose. You scoffed," they are mammals Steve." "Aren't...aren't all rodents mammals?" He tilted his head, making you pause before mumbling, "Huh...well shit." Eddie chuckles as Steve gives you a shit eating grin.

You cross your arms and glare at both of them. "This whole topic is stupid. We are people for a reason," Steve muttered looking at his nails. "You just don't understand my genius," you flick Steve who slaps your hands away," It is stupid though!" "Uh huh, like you won't think of this later, man. So, who is this hedgehog then?" Eddie asks, discarding the stub of the joint. He turns to face you, laying his head against the couch and against Steve's knee. "It's gotta be you, you're a rodent. A rat." Steve says, reaching over and bopping Eddie on the nose. Eddie immediately goes to bite Steve's hand and you wave your hands," See! That's what I'm talking about!" They look at you confused. "My friend had a hedgehog and it nibbled a lot. It bit when it found a scent it liked. Eddie you literally come up and bite us randomly all the time!" "...They're love bites..." You ignore Eddie's interjection and continue," plus they make like dens. Like they make little piles and hide in them. You will steal all the blankets I own and curl up under them. And hide in them, wait did I say that already? Plus PLUS they have quills which are sharp and they protect you! It's like an armor and like you put on this act to protect yourself but really you're sweet and have a soft underbelly."

Eddie blinks a few times, opening and closing his mouth. "Aren't they like night creatures the...fuck I forgot the word...not awake during the day?" Steve runs a hand through his hair and you snap pointing at him," Yes nocturnal! So is Eddie!" "Okay okay enough exposing me." Eddie lightly kicks you," besides if I'm a hedgehog what is Steve?" You pause as you think before grinning. "Uh obviously I'm something cool like a-" "A chihuahua." "oh fuck you!"

#Do you really believe Steve is a chihuahua? No but it was fun to mess with him #“hey you're the one who said it was stupid so you really shouldn't care what I think” “I AM NOT A CHIHUAHUA” #Eddie is sitting there laughing so hard he's crying and wheezing #“Uh every chihuahua I know looks cute and sweet and then are mean lil ankle biters.” “Im not mean!” #“YES YOU ARE YOU ARE A MEAN GIRL STEVE HARRINGTON” “WELL IM SORRY IF IM BEING HONEST THAT DRESS WAS TACKY” #“CHIHUAHUAS YIP AND YAMMER WHEN THEY DONT GET ATTENTION JUST LIKE YOU” #You still wouldn't say Steve is a chihuahua but now you are gonna defend it with your life #Eddie is crying and trying to breathe he feels sick to his stomach from laughing so hard #For Steve's birthday Eddie gets him a mug with a chihuahua on it and everyone is very confused as to why you lose it laughing #Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson #Steve Harrington x reader #Eddie Munson x reader #Steddie x reader #Stranger Things x reader #Stranger Things #My writing isn't good but it is written so thats a thing plus each drabble i get more experience and can improve so #Jade is Talking

[blupengu]

Y’all is Hollow Knight hard or do I just suck because oh my god??

#not gonna inflict my ramblings onto someone else’s post so just making a text post for myself #but oh my god #what the fuck? #maybe I’m not a hardcore metroidvania fan but I like them well enough #do I suck that badly at games now?? am I old to the point that my hands can’t do this shit???? #did I just somehow fuck myself at some point??? #because wow this feels kind of sadistic???? #and not even in the fun kind of way????? #like I think I’d rather submit myself to fear and hunger again rather than continue where I am now in hk #idk maybe I’m missing something #but I just got wall jump and was so happy until I fell down to where you can challenge those mantis dudes #got myself out of there but then as I was exploring northwest I keep dying and reviving from the fucking bouncy balls over water #and the normal mantis mobs are also kicking my ass? #and dont even get me started on the weird tentacley nuclear bomb mushroom things those are just bullshit #AND THEN AS I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME EXPLORING HEADING TOWARDS A SAVE BENCH I GET DROPPED INTO DEEPNEST?????? #WHAT KIND OF JUMPSCARE BULLSHIT?????????? #AND THE FUCKING COCKROACHES THAT NEVER SEEM TO STOP SPAWNING KILL ME #and then I see how fucking far back I’ve been dropped in the corner of fungal wastes #and I try jumping through the fucking bouncy balls again #and I die and lose my money #I can’t fucking do this shit anymore y’all holy fucking shit #the number of times I’ve died and restarted from that fucking fungal wastes bench I am so sick of it 💀 #legit I think this is the first time I’ve rage quit a game #it’s been a while since a game’s actually made me this angry I want to fucking throw something 😂 #the willpower and self control I needed to not chuck my pro controller across the room… #if I didn’t have neighbors and a unit below me I’d be throwing shit for sure though #but instead I must smack pillows against my mattress in a rage 😂 #I think I hate the ‘go back to where you died to get back your money’ punishment system… like legit I actually really really hate it. #I do think the game is fun and I know I’ll probably quickly gain the money… but it feels like the game’s telling me I fucking suck lmao #suffice to say I will not be playing any more hollow knight for the foreseeable future 💀

[soldier-poet-king]

Ur 20s are just discovering new types of isolation and sadness every day. Life is beautiful and glory glory glory amen. but also. What the fuck am I doing wrong

U know when u finally meet up with friends and everything just feels terrible and distant and things weren't /bad/ but they sure weren't good either? And you leave feeling worse than you did when you arrived? And you realize how little in common you have? And your concerns and priorities and interests are so violently divergent? And you wonder was it always this way? Or have things changed that dramatically? Have /I/ changed that dramatically? Have I been so isolated the last years of covid with tumblr friends being some of my only contact with ppl my age that I got so used to having people wild about the same intersection of concerns that I don't know how to deal with "normal" concerns anymore? Or has it always been this way? Were conversations about boyfriends and buying condos and yet another international vacation always this soulless??? This empty? This isolating?

I don't want to say like. Oh my friends are so detached from my lived reality and their concerns about wealth are so far removed from mine. As is their relationship stuff. And their family stuff. And sometimes they seem a little cruel and judgemental. Not to me. But to the world at large. And I don't have space for that kind of casual callousness in my heart anymore? And maybe IM the judgemental pretentious one, constantly stuck in a little introspective loop, so utterly disconnected. But maybe I'm not. Surely it's not better to live emotionally and spiritually emptier, even if it seems to an outsider more fulfilling. Or maybe the shared grad school experience was the common thread and it was always going here when we left school.

I love them dearly, but I don't KNOW them anymore it feels. Everything is so surface level. And theres nothing wrong with casual friends for dinner and terrible movies once a month. I just. Didn't expect it here.

#franposting #i don't know. i dont know #i always just feel so sick with it #whats worse is this made me APPRECIATE my family #and think oh theyre not that bad #my parents arent bad ppl jist bad parents #and now im like. well theyre shallow. but maybe everyone is #and once again. i am asking. where is my bff roomate(s) life partner(s) #its SO isolating #yes yes deep human desire to be seen and known and loved etc etc #and its universal and im not special #and im actually being pretentious and judgmental #i am trying to hard #but i feel So isolated #and i dont. i dont understand the casual callousness #how can you exist and not care? about everyone else and the world and every individual #how can there not be so much love and care and desire that youre aching and overflowing with it #how do you just. live? with no broader existential/moral/spiritual concerns #not even in a religious way! even just a secular humanist way #i dont understand and i think theres something wrong with mr #not special. just wrong. and im an odd duck and its fine (its not) #uguughihjihbiugzh im going to wash the restaurant smell out of my hair #open a cider. play video game. maybr watch snk. just. get out of my head #there is so much more to human existence and it aches #im going to end up like kierkegaard. so obsessed with introspection that i become an insane loner and drive everyone away ruin everything #except he was SMART. im useless dumb of ass #oh spotify were IN IT NOW

[arthur-r]

(stupid vent in the tags i’m maybe struggling a lot. not feeling particularly real or handling my life and relationships maturely at all)

#i love i LOVE how i can write out three fucking pages of how well and normal my life is going and then just fall apart #is this directly correlated to whether i take my anxiety medication? certainly but the side effects are SHIT and its not mandatory anymore #(realizing the amount of my shit relationship that i spent fucking drugged up by myself is SHIT!! i wasn’t a real human being i was so #fucking out of it all the time and he DIDNT FUCKING CARE and i’m upset. that being said i’m anxious as shit now without my meds) #anyway i’m meeting up with two people tomorrow and they’re both the most fucked up sorts of relationships where they’ve been almost my #entire life at certain points of time but are also people who have made me FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE but with no ill will just fucked situation #problem is one is just an asshole but the other is an incredible person with delusions attached. i think. i’m struggling #i was so fucking healthy two days ago and i thought its a good idea to say hi when i’m in town. but no actually i’m fucked in the head #i feel like he’s either going to kill me or fall in love with me. he’s ten years older than me. and has done NOTHING WRONG IM JUST INSANE #should i not show up?? this is a normal fucking person this is a normal person and i want to say hi. already sent him a long fucking email #so we’re a little late to lose this relationship. and it’s FUCKING NORMAL. normal fucking person. mentor figure positive fucking role model #what the fuck is wrong with me!!!! i’m so fucking normal i just get insane. i’m being like my nemesis actually. ex-bandmate who fucked me u #and didn’t fucking care about anyone and saw me as a character i’m doing her fucking thing. im talking about a normal man who cares about m #a normal amount. ​and interacts with me in a NORMAL FUCKING WAY. who SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE. what is WRONG WITH ME #aside from that…. i’m just feeling sick and awful. my little sister is really struggling and so am i. and i talk so much and never listen #and i could have fucking sworn that i was doing well. fucking LAST NIGHT i wrote all about how fucking stable i am. how i’m going to be oka #AND I AM. i just feel like shit. and i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i’m going on testosterone TOMORROW if all goes well. why can’t i #just fucking focus on that?!!?!?!?? and i’m dysphoric as shit it’s half of what’s wrong with me right now. maybe t will just fucking fix me #but what the fuck. what the fuck. i dont know. all of a sudden i’m in a bad place. i just want to be okay. #i hope everyone is well and i’m sorry for venting. i would almost not post this but i don’t feel real #i don’t know. sending love…. let me know if you need anything please. be well 💛 #friends only #vent cw #like if read #delete later #ask to tag