#its SO isolating

[soldier-poet-king]

Ur 20s are just discovering new types of isolation and sadness every day. Life is beautiful and glory glory glory amen. but also. What the fuck am I doing wrong

U know when u finally meet up with friends and everything just feels terrible and distant and things weren't /bad/ but they sure weren't good either? And you leave feeling worse than you did when you arrived? And you realize how little in common you have? And your concerns and priorities and interests are so violently divergent? And you wonder was it always this way? Or have things changed that dramatically? Have /I/ changed that dramatically? Have I been so isolated the last years of covid with tumblr friends being some of my only contact with ppl my age that I got so used to having people wild about the same intersection of concerns that I don't know how to deal with "normal" concerns anymore? Or has it always been this way? Were conversations about boyfriends and buying condos and yet another international vacation always this soulless??? This empty? This isolating?

I don't want to say like. Oh my friends are so detached from my lived reality and their concerns about wealth are so far removed from mine. As is their relationship stuff. And their family stuff. And sometimes they seem a little cruel and judgemental. Not to me. But to the world at large. And I don't have space for that kind of casual callousness in my heart anymore? And maybe IM the judgemental pretentious one, constantly stuck in a little introspective loop, so utterly disconnected. But maybe I'm not. Surely it's not better to live emotionally and spiritually emptier, even if it seems to an outsider more fulfilling. Or maybe the shared grad school experience was the common thread and it was always going here when we left school.

I love them dearly, but I don't KNOW them anymore it feels. Everything is so surface level. And theres nothing wrong with casual friends for dinner and terrible movies once a month. I just. Didn't expect it here.

#franposting #i don't know. i dont know #i always just feel so sick with it #whats worse is this made me APPRECIATE my family #and think oh theyre not that bad #my parents arent bad ppl jist bad parents #and now im like. well theyre shallow. but maybe everyone is #and once again. i am asking. where is my bff roomate(s) life partner(s) #its SO isolating #yes yes deep human desire to be seen and known and loved etc etc #and its universal and im not special #and im actually being pretentious and judgmental #i am trying to hard #but i feel So isolated #and i dont. i dont understand the casual callousness #how can you exist and not care? about everyone else and the world and every individual #how can there not be so much love and care and desire that youre aching and overflowing with it #how do you just. live? with no broader existential/moral/spiritual concerns #not even in a religious way! even just a secular humanist way #i dont understand and i think theres something wrong with mr #not special. just wrong. and im an odd duck and its fine (its not) #uguughihjihbiugzh im going to wash the restaurant smell out of my hair #open a cider. play video game. maybr watch snk. just. get out of my head #there is so much more to human existence and it aches #im going to end up like kierkegaard. so obsessed with introspection that i become an insane loner and drive everyone away ruin everything #except he was SMART. im useless dumb of ass #oh spotify were IN IT NOW

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff #but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me #its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university #but some ppl dont even get that chance #maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick #but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw #📼

[indescribable-agonies]

i don't know when everyone around me decided that romantic relationships were more important/desirable than friendships but i think it's just making us all feel collectively lonelier. i hate it here :/

#its so isolating #friendship #platonic relationships #20s #early 20s #online journal #personal blog #journalling #lonely

[cinderellahoneymoon]

im being so fucking for real and i need you guys to boost and reblog this you nonblack selfshippers have got to stop using "simp." you have to. its african american vernacular english (aave) which in colloquial terms means its not for you to use. in a space already hostile towards shippers of color, youre just making it more inhospitable to black selfshippers by appropriating our language. say youre crushing. say youre obsessed. say youre head over heels, say youre a sucker, say youre infatuated, just stop saying simp. for the love of god

{nonblack shippers [even other shippers of color] i do NOT want to hear your opinion on this post or hear about how you "didnt know" or are "changing it right now." just be an ally and LISTEN instead of needing to add your piece.}

#at this point i am just desperate . trying to get the word out there bc clearly ppl still dont know #im TIRED of all these nonblack shippers having simp in their username or their bio #one of the main reasons i dont interact w the community is bc its so ISOLATING and so many ppl are so ignorant #and everything is so white-centric that i cant stand it #squiddyneg #squiddyspeak #f/o community #self shipping #self ship #self ship community #f/o #romantic f/o #familial f/o #platonic f/o #f/o x s/i #f/o positivity #f/o comfort #imagine your f/o #f/o imagines #selfshipping #selfship #selfship community #selfship positivity #fictional other #comfort character #f/o prompts #imagine your fictional other #comfort character imagines #poc selfship #poc selfshipper

[wild-neko]

I want new memories with new people

#its been a very emotionally triggering day #i cant forget the intimate things combined with the abuse is kinda messing me up #i want new memories with new people who are safe #im so scared of getting close to anyone in fear if it happening again #i want someone i can trust #its so isolating #i want to heal in a healthy safe relationship #no contact #actually traumatized #people who see you suffering and decide to hurt you more are sick fucks #im so tired #ptsd-c

[kingofpeacows]

A lot of the time when people bring up Bart Allen as being super autistic coded, they're bringing it up in conjuction with the rest of YJ (which, yes, I love autistic friendship) but sometimes I just wanna talk about Bart Allen.

I wanna talk about the kid who doesn't understand he's getting bullied and managed to be friends with everyone because of it. I wanna talk about the kid who is so bad at holding a conversation everyone thinks he's some sort of brooding asshole. I wanna talk about the kid who KNOWS that the older, more popular kids talk to him and dare him to do stupid stuff because "of course Bart will do it" and does it anyway because he likes making people laugh. I wanna talk about the kid who knows he's doing something wrong socially but he doesn't know what and wants nothing more than to fix it. I wanna talk about the kid who knows he's different but still thinks the rest of the world is the problem. I wanna talk about the kid who's so smart and so brave but everyone only sees him as some mess-up idiot. I wanna talk about the emotional kid who got bullied for being robotic and unemotional because allistic people can't grasp what his world looks like. I wanna talk about the kid who wouldn't know sarcasm from truth. I wanna talk about the kid who's low-empathy but does everything he can to be compassionate. I wanna talk about the kid who's surrounded by people, but still feels so alone because no one else understands his world.

Sometimes I just wanna talk about Bart Allen.

#yes the rest of yj can be autistic but that doesnt erase the isolating feeling of autism #its a spectrum disorder for a reason #bart allen #dc #dc comics #dceu #headcanon #autistic headcanon #autistic coded #bart allen impulse #impulse #yj98 #young justice #young justice comics #young just us #hes so autistic #hes so important to me #read mark waids impulse and everything he does is so linked to the autistic experience #need people to be real bart fans and not just yj show fans or know him through other media /lh

[cominy-kiwami]

why does it always affect me so deeply when you play the music box in resident evil village before you fix it and it plays the really short out of tune notes and then stops and the subtitle says “Something's not right.”

the little jingle has a really subtle sense of dread while also being calming.

#i love the way things are put in the beneviento house #like during the film strip puzzle #each strip gets a cute little romantic name #but theres periods after each one. #and you are in a dark and unfamiliar room. #and the only sound is the droning ambience. #its SO isolating

[normal-about-charcters]

These two pages work amazingly to show just how unfulfilling a "normal" life can be, as well as showing just how little either of them really know of whats "normal"

#manga #csm #chainsaw man #csm spoilers #chainsaw man manga spoilers #chainsaw man manga #csm manga #chainsaw man spoilers #csm manga spoilers #I think part of what makes it work so well for me is the fact that this still isnt normal #theyre trying to be normal by skipping class and going to a movie but the circumstances in which its happening is fundamentally abnormal #an empty movie theatre with a devil corpse #it works amazingly to show just how impossible it is for either of them to truly be normal #also the last panel is really a well designed 'isolated in a crowd' image

[felsicveins]

Alrighty, another ex revealed! Meet Barley! I demanded that @persistenttenderness conjure up a bf for John Dory and this is who they came up with ❤️ 🐎

#ill reblog with added details later #have to consult #trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls jd #jd trolls #john dory #john dory trolls #trolls john dory #brozone #man .. it really is just him huh #like okay i dont think its likely he spent all 20 years in isolation so maybe .. he was wandering across lonesome flats #and maybe there was a cowboy herding some of those wack buffalo #and maybe they got to chatting #the full story will come later ; ) #dw trolls #dreamworks trolls #concept and story by lilith design by me

[acowardinmordor]

I need a fic where Steve and Eddie are sorta friends after S1. He isn't talking to Tommy H, so he has to buy his own stash, and since he saw a monster, he's more in need of that stash than before. Steve is still with Nancy, there isn't anything romantic happening between Eddie and him, but they're close enough they have stopped acting like guests at each others place when they're over.

They get way too high the friday before Halloween of 84, and Eddie accidentally outs himself. Doesn't say that he likes Steve, but the pieces are there if Steve wants to connect the dots. Eddie runs for it, and Steve is confused why he ran, but thinks that he should give Eddie some space, since he obviously wants that. Enter S2.

Steve gets a little in his own head about dragging people into the Upside Down crazy. It got Bob killed this time. People die, and the closer people are to the group, the more likely it is that they'll end up in danger or dead. The best case scenario is that they have nightmares and brain damage.

So Steve takes the echoing silence between him and Eddie as a chance to keep him safe. Eddie is terrified that Steve hates him, so he's not going to say anything. Then, Steve shows up to school beaten to shit and single, and Eddie asks if he's okay, what happened, who did this, why.

Steve really wants to loop back to why Eddie ran out so fast after saying that he was 'a friend of dorothy', because he missed it entirely, but asking would encourage Eddie to stay around him, and that isn't safe. He is still a bit concussed, and convinced that if he tells Eddie about any of it, the guy will figure out all of it, and get himself killed. Brushes him off.

Its not until a year later, talking to Robin about queer culture that he understands what Eddie was saying, and why he ran. He also realizes that cutting off contact must have convinced Eddie that Steve was disgusted by him. Steve tries to reach out, tries to catch Eddie after Hellfire, shows up to his trailer a few times. It's late, but Steve wants to apologize and fix that one thing if nothing else.

It doesn't work, Steve takes the hint, and goes back to avoiding Eddie. So, the first time they talk again is in the boathouse.

#steddie #I love steve knowing himself early #but I also love when Steve is too isolated to know about queer stuff #his only context for it is the news and his dad #so he knows its an insult #and dangerous #but there is no way he knows the lingo and cues #Eddie is in the opposite boat #the xkcd comic 'most people only know two or three' #bc at the end of the day #highschoolers don't react great to things that upset or confuse them

[pespillo]

jack i know you believe in him but i dont think he believes in himself

#the walten files #felix kranken #jack walten #samsa´s art stuff #with every bit of new info its like so . tragically funny #they arent even that good of best friends because felix is too fucking caught up in his inferiority complex #n jack is way more isolated emotionally than he seems . its crazy he probably repressing his emotions because he doesnt wanna lose himself #in them #RARRRGHHHHGHHHH WHATEVER WHATEVER

[ryssbelle]

Some of y’all portray John Dory as so old and yeah he is older and you can do whatever you want forever as an artist or writer but he is 30 years old and yall draw him like his pushing 50

Mans got one foot in the grave and the others going in the second he his 36

Bonus:

#my art #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls #trolls john dory #trolls band together #also i would like to say im not upset or anything by this #age is like weird when it comes to how its displayed on peoples faces #like bramch is 24 and has crows feet #its also neat how everyone seems to have aged fine and by that i mean looking their age #except for branch and for some john dory #and those two are the ones who spent a lot of time isolated and (most likely for john) depressed #and like yeah loneliness and sadness does age you #physically mentally emotionally #so it is like natural that john would look and feel older than he is BUT #not by decades dude #cuz like yeah branch has crows feet but he also still looks somewhat his age #you can tell the wrinkles in his face are from frowning not from age #tho like i do love peoples personal designs and takes #theyre all very unique #i just thought this was funny #and also it kind of needs to be said #cuz people act like once you turn 30 its all over but dude thats when your life is really beginning in that #you usually finally know who you are you know #like one of my friends hes 29 and like hes living the dream dude just doing what he loves and its so nice #and im not saying he has it all figured out but he has enough that hes setting a pretty damn good example #and hes only just begun you know he still has so far to go in life #we joke that hes old but again its all jokes #i just dont like that people think your life ends at 30 cuz you still have about 50 years left #but yeah anyway moral of the story 30 isnt old and you still got a lot more life to lead before you crumble to dust have fun live well

[tigerr-cherry]

They're only silly on the weekends from 10-12

#a lamb ref 4 meee #so a little lore it's considered rude to show ur top teeth like out in the open bc typically when flashing top teeth is a sign of aggressio #but the thing is the lamb doesnt know that #1 bc sheep dont have teeth in the front part of their upper jaw instead it a hard pad soo them having top teeth is very new to them #2 they grew up isolated and only around other sheep so how would they know yknow? #its jarring for new ppl at first bc lamb has a habit of showing their teeth when smiling but after they figure out lambs chill theyre chill #but like no one tells them showing top teeth is rude #anyways #cult of the lamb #cotl fanart #cotl lamb #reference sheet #sort of #cotl #my art #cw cussing #ill draw a ref 4 god!lamb later

[yellowjackets-1996]

death, she is cunning, and clever as hell... and she'll eat you alive.

↳ the oh hellos

#yellowjackets #yellowjacketsedit #yjedit #lyricsongifs #laura lee #like. obviously the wilderness kills laura lee. she already has a god #and either she believes in that god enough to go on a suicide mission or she's content to die by suicide #either way. the wilderness will fulfill the promise #ive seen ppl theorizing that the wilderness killed laura lee to isolate lottie and like real and true 100000% #i just think its also true that lara lee was not only not of any use but like. an active threat #even if lottie didnt follow laura lee her presence would be disruptive. like some of the girls who need lottie mightve turned to laura lee #laura lees faith saved her once. but only once. and only surrounded by people who worshiped that god and acted in its name #literally god loves you but not enough to save you so baby girl good luck taking care of yourself

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i think. i need to go for a drive and get myself a tasty beverage

#anyway so being alive right. its a ton of fun through and through < sarcasm! #i love the constant discomfort and terror and stress and isolation and existential dread <3 #sigh. anyway #what is this about again? #oh yeah. floor tiles #sometimes i stare at grout and feel a little too much kinship with it. and that is All! #dont mind me just. using art as an outlet as its meant to be! #please dont ask me about this! #its very self explanatory anyway! theres not much else to Say! #floor tiles! you see! #every day i wake up and i lay motionless in bed while my brain screams at flesh melting decibels #Floor Tiles!!!! #lying on the floor asking the grout if it screams and claws at its own insides too #will keep you all updated on the answer (there will be None) #no tags posting it Late in the hopes that no one sees me coughing blood all over my own blog. Again.

[haunted-xander]

BBS is a tragedy in many ways, but one of the things that gets me is that the catalyst, the one big thing that caused this mess to begin with, is so avoidable.

Like, the story starts primarily because Terra starts to fear himself (because of the darkness he has unwittingly 'used') and this causes a spiral of doubt and obsession. A spiral which he could've escaped from or maybe not even started if he just 1) had been taught the balance between light and dark properly (that darkness is more than just unquestionable evil, that light is more than unquestionable good, that they can and should co-exist in balance), and 2) had consistent socialization from more than the same 3 people.

Like. BBS is a cautionary tale about what happens when people aren't exposed to a wide enough variety of people and, therefore, end up naive and overly trusting because they never learned that people have ulterior motives. Terra is consistently manipulated and used by people literally everywhere he goes, because he can't see that they might not have the best intentions! He can't see the red flags because he doesn't know there are red flags to look for!

Xehanort knows this. It's why he targeted Terra to begin with: because he would be susceptable to his words. The main reason he couldn't use Aqua is because she was too confident in her own values, she didn't have the seed of doubt that Terra had. It's the only thing that prevents her from being used the same way he is, even though she is just as naive and trusting as he is.

Ven probably has it the worst socialization wise. Unlike Terra and Aqua who, presumably, has/had a family and life outside of the Land of Departure prior to beginning training there, Ven doesn't remember anything before then (not that he had much he'd be happy to remember anyway). And since he's the youngest and most 'fragile' one (due to being in recovery for most of his time here), he gets somewhat coddled and shielded by everyone else. Not to mention the way Eraqus completely forbid him from leaving and never intented for him to ever see worlds outside the Land of Departure. Sure, Terra and Aqua aren't typically supposed to leave either, but at least they'd be allowed in certain situations. Ven wouldn't.

Ven isn't allowed to interact with anyone outside of home. He's not allowed anything that involves the outer worlds. (He and Naminé are a bit alike in that sense. Though at least the people he's stuck with are nice to Ven and do genuinely care for him, unlike Naminé...)

BBS happens largely because Eraqus failed as both a teacher and a parental figure to all of them, but Terra most of all.

#started bbs again and had feelings. not sorry #so much of the story in general (but ESPECIALLY terras part) happens the way it does bc eraqus was a flawed man with flawed values #he taught his pupils a rigidly black and white worldview that doesnt work when put to practice #and he isolated them from the outside world meaning they lack so so much necessary knowledge and exposure #its why they were so much more susceptable to manipulation and misdirection than someone like sore #who is also largely trusting #but he has had proper socialization and exposure to different people as he grew up #that he can tell good and ill intent apart #but its also like. #at the point where the story starts its already too late #because the damage is done #they cant undo the flawed teachings and under-exposure in an instant #eraqus failed to see the consequences for his teachings- that by demonizing darkness he makes it a source of fear #and as he himself said: fear leads to obsession and obsession feeds the darkness #and obsession he unwittingly stoked by creating said fear #also just to be clear this is not meant as eraqus hate he is a complicated man who made mistakes #but nevertheless meant well and could never have forseen just how badly his teachings wouldve made things #OUGH its a complicated situation and none of them are really at fault! #(except xehanort) #(he is very much directly at fault) #terra #aqua #ventus #eraqus #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #xander rambles