#i figured i'd do a double for yall

[softcitrus2345]

Full Tank

This is a little written piece I made after a series of doodles from a while back that I ended up liking. A lot XD I sprinkled in the doodles that inspired this written piece into the post as well for double the fun >;3c I'm NOT an experienced writer by any means and this was mostly for fun so I could explore my own characters, but ye, I figured I might as well share it here with yall TTwTT This piece includes themes of funnel feeding, stuffing, male weight gain, some squish stuff and a light dash of spice near the end And of course, a big ass scoop of FLUFF >:Dc

This little blurb features Vanessa (she/her) and Damien (he/him), my two (favorite) lovebugs TTwTT

Hope yall like it! :3

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Vanessa stirred in bed, her arms reaching out for the plush warmth that she expected to be there, only to be met with empty bedsheets

Her eyes fluttered open and sure enough, there was a sizeable indent in the bed where her partner should have been..

The clock on the bedside table marked 1:26 am <<Where could he have gone off to at this time of night??>> She thought, but the little voice in the back of her mind already knew the answer…

She felt around the nightstand before locating her glasses, which she hastily put on as she walked out of the bedroom

Tiptoeing down the long and elaborate flight of stairs, the vampire made her way toward the kitchen. Though she was still getting used to living in a mansion, she knew all too well where this room was..

As she approached the dining room, she could hear noises coming from somewhere in the kitchen. <<Found you>> She grinned, her movements slow and calculated so as not to alert the lycanthrope. The faint glow of the open fridge illuminated a small portion of the otherwise dark kitchen, painting a perfect picture of what events had occurred while she wasn't there

Several empty containers of food were strewn about the kitchen counter, picked clean and discarded while the perpetrator focused on his next course, his tall, plump frame hunched over, while his head and hands were stuck in the fridge, busy devouring whatever he could get his hands on

The back of his shirt had just begun to ride up, exposing a small sliver of pale flesh

Vanessa could hardly contain her excitement as the gap between her and her gluttonous partner grew shorter and shorter

"Hey handsome~" she purred, hugging Damien from the back, squeezing the bottom of his belly, nearly melting as she felt the warm softness between her fingers

Damien's whole body jumped, his head shooting up and slamming into the top of the fridge interior before turning around, groaning softly as he rubbed his head with his clean hand

"V-Vanessa-!!" He squeaked, his crumb-covered face red as a beet, pale skin further emphasizing the embarrassment blooming on his cheeks

"I was j-jus- uhmm.." he backed away from the fridge a bit, straightening up to his full height and wiping the evidence off his flushed face

"Hey, it's okay, you were just hungry... You know I'd never discourage you from getting something to eat~" She chuckled, watching her boyfriend's sheepish expression as he towered over her like an oversized kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar

She snuck several glances at his midsection, her own face growing warmer

An idea blossomed in her mind, making the corners of her mouth curl into a cheeky grin

"Here, I'll help you," she said, grabbing Damien by the hand before he could protest and bringing him into the dining room, where she sat him in one of the wooden chairs that she pulled from the table

The chair made a distinctive creak as he sat down, causing the pair to blush once more

"What're you-" "Shhhh, you'll love it, I promise" she interrupted his questioning, pressing a finger to his lips

"I'll be back in a bit, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty, 'kay?" She smiled, planting a small peck on his round cheek before hopping off to the kitchen again

In the kitchen, Vanessa opened the fridge to find Damien's most recent "snack", a large chocolate cake she had been saving for the next day. No matter, it surely won't go to waste..

She picked up the cake and set it on the counter, smiling as she saw the small portion that he had ripped out of the cake with his greedy hands

Then opening the freezer, she grabbed several quarts of vanilla ice cream and set them near the cake

As Damien sat in his chair, awaiting whatever surprise Vanessa was preparing for him, he heard the whirring of the blender, which seemed to go on for quite a while, before stopping and continuing the same routine a couple more times

Damien felt his stomach growl again, demanding more, despite having consumed quite a bit already

"Hhhokay.. calm down, you can wait a few more minutes.." he said to himself, noticing his heartbeat increasing in frequency as the minutes ticked by

"Alriiiight, it's ready!" She called in a sing-songy voice from the kitchen "Close your eyes for me, and no peeking, or you won't get any-"

Of course, he knew she didn't really mean that, but Damien played along, keeping his eyes closed as he opened his mouth, awaiting whatever she had conjured up for him

He was caught off guard by the cylindrical form that entered his maw, which Vanessa had pushed further back into his mouth before he realized what it was, making a small noise between a whimper and a gasp before staying seated, the chair creaking a bit more as he squirmed, flustered out of his mind

Almost immediately after the tube was positioned in his mouth, his taste buds were bombarded with a cold, rich, chocolatey liquid

Several more flustered huffs came from him as he began to hastily drink down the substance in thick gulps

"I wanted to try something new tonight, I've been saving this little tool for a.. special occasion~" Vanessa purred, her eyes focused on her partner while she kept her hands steady, pouring the cake shake into the funnel with relative ease, despite the sizeable pitcher she carried being nearly full of dense liquid

Damien couldn't respond, he could only focus on drinking every last drop of the shake, so he wouldn't make a mess of course~

As he continued to drink, he felt his shirt become tighter and begin to ride up, his growing belly pushing against the fabric while gradually occupying more space in his lap

"Hmmnh, ghmmmg…. ghlpg- ghhhhhn?" Damien whined as the flow of the shake trickled to a stop

"Oh don't you worry lovely, there's still plenty more where that came from.." Vanessa responded, picking up a second pitcher and tipping it into the funnel once more

"Hmmmmmmmmhhhhh.." Damien hummed in satisfaction as his cheeks flushed pink once more as he continued his routine of gulping down more, and more, and more

His hands slowly traveled their way up his lap and on top of his belly, lightly pressing on its cushioned surface, as he expanded more by the second

Vanessa knew him too well, she was much better at initiating these sorts of activities, where he could indulge in his own, less conventional desires, and he adored her for it

At the end of the second pitcher, he could already feel his stomach churning, trying its best to keep up with the sudden surge of calories, growling and groaning loudly while Damien panted, the tube still in his mouth

That should have been enough, but something in him wanted more

Luckily he wasn't quite finished with his task, as Vanessa picked up the final pitcher she had prepared

Damien's eyes fluttered open, panting and staring above him at his partner, his eyes almost desperate as she grinned at her greedy boyfriend They both exchanged a look, blushing as Vanessa lifted up the last of the sweet liquid

"Almost done, this is all that's left, so you might wanna savor-" she cut herself off, pouring in the last pitcher without warning, flooding his mouth once again with the sweet sludge

Damien spluttered for a second, some of the shake dribbling down his mouth and onto his shirt, before getting a hang of it, taking fast, heavy gulps to keep up with the pace while Vanessa poured, giggling as she watched her partner's efforts to keep up

He closed his eyes once more as he felt himself become fuller and fuller, rubbing his hands in soothing circles over his now-exposed belly, feeling it grow bigger with each passing moment

Vanessa held her breath as she watched the last of the precious fattening shake flow down the funnel and into her blimping boyfriend

When it was all finished, she pulled the tube out, Damien in a daze as it left his mouth, before letting out a loud belch and a small groan, still rubbing his belly in a food-drunk state

There was so much of it in him that she could hear the faint sloshing of the shake in his gut as it bubbled and churned the thousands of calories worth of shake into more wonderful softness

The vampire cooed, completely enamored and glad to finally be able to massage his engorged belly, planting several kisses on it before working her way up to his face

"You did so well hon, you finished every single drop, I bet this feels nice hm?" She smiled ear to ear, watching her partner blush, a completely flustered mess

Vanessa leaned on his belly and brought herself close to his face, the shift in weight causing another belch to come out before Damien quickly closed his mouth, face reddening

Vanessa chuffed at his reaction, leaning in further as she kissed and licked the excess shake off of his soft face and neck

She reveled in his response, his small flustered noises making her heart flutter

"Th- * hff * thank you.." he panted, leaning in for a longer kiss, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her further into his belly. Vanessa squeaked, melting into his embrace, hearing his gut's protests to this new disturbance

Once their lips parted, Vanessa locked eyes with Damien before grabbing him by both pudgy hands and attempting to pull him into a standing position

He obeyed, though it took a second to adjust to the sloshing weight inside him, feeling like an oversized water balloon

He continued holding Vanessa's hand as she began to gently guide him out of the kitchen, leaving the cleanup for tomorrow

"V-VanesshuoOorp– Where * huff * are we g-* hic! * going..?"

"To bed, silly~! Can't really snuggle ya if you're sitting on a hard chair, now, can I~?"

"I brrrUp- guess no-ot.."

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Though it took them a while to get all the way up the steps, Vanessa remained patient, giving loving words of encouragement as Damien clung to her, using his other hand to keep his belly from sloshing around too much while he walked

It was such an amazing relief when he planted himself back on the cushioned bed, his whole body sinking further into the edge where he sat, huffing and puffing

His belly was so heavy that he had to lean on his hands behind him on the bed to maintain his balance, the large mound moving up and down with each breath

The fabric of his shirt strained to contain the little bit of his belly that still remained covered, along with his plush moobs

Vanessa blushed, reaching behind her partner "This looks so tight, let me help you with that" She gingerly pulled the fabric of the shirt up, finally releasing his behemoth belly and allowing him to breathe a bit easier

Damien let out a chuffed sigh of relief as the burden was removed from him, his belly pushing out further in his lap as he relaxed

"I * hff * really needed * huff * that, thanks 'Nessa.." he sighed

"My pleasure, cutie" she hummed, giving him a peck on the forehead and ruffling his soft, white hair affectionately

There was a moment of silence as both retained eye contact before the albino spoke

"Yknow… I'm still feeling pretty hungry…" he said, a flirtatious tone in his voice as he patted his overstuffed gut with one hand, keeping the other on the mattress for balance

"O-oh??" Vanessa sputtered, her eyes widening

"* bHUurp- * Yeah… and I've got the * huff * perfect l-little morsel right * puff * hhere in front of me~" he slurred, grabbing Vanessa by the arms surprisingly fast for how full and dazed he seemed a moment ago, swinging them around and pinning her to the bed underneath his heavy gut

The vampire barely had a moment to react as she froze, her heart going at a mile a minute, processing what he had just said, and the position she was now in…

Though he held himself up firmly above her, his large belly hung low enough to still weigh her down a considerable amount

She just stared into his eyes as he smiled down at her, a very rare smug look on his rounded face

"Gotta return the * hfff- * f-favor~"

Vanessa gasped as she completely melted at his touch while his warm lips began planting sloppy kisses all over her cheeks and neck

Vanessa shuddered in delight, feeling his warm breath on her skin

Suddenly she began feeling small gentle pinches on her neck and shoulders, before realizing he had been incorporating a few little love bites in between kisses…

God, he knew just how to make her melt

She just lay there, her hands sinking into the plush flesh of his chest, feeling as if she was being enveloped in a pleasantly heavy and warm pillow

"Woah… I hadn't realized how h-eavy you'd gotten, honey-" she breathed, her face redder than she thought possible

Damien momentarily paused, looking down at his partner in concern "O-oh? Is it too much? I-I'm not * hff * hurting you am I??"

"Oh no! No, no, it feels… r-really * hff * good, actually… it's perfect~"

"Oh, that's a * hff * r-relief, cause I'm having * huff * waaay too much fun makin' ya * brup- * blush~"

The bed creaked again as Damien shifted his weight, moving an arm up to support himself as he leaned down to kiss his love's forehead

* WHUMP *

Vanessa yelped as her body was enveloped by warm, soft flesh within seconds

Damien belched loudly as all of his weight fell onto his bloated belly… and onto his partner beneath him..

His pointy ear twitched as he heard a small, slightly muffled noise of pleasure coming from beneath his mountainous body before he felt several gentle squeezes to his love handles

Damien felt his face grow hot

There was a moment of stunned silence before he snapped out of it and peeled himself off of his lover, panting

The werewolf gave a flustered, nervous laugh, seeing the vampire's bright red face and wide eyes, her body unmoving as she caught her breath

"Y-you ok down there~?" He asked, stifling a giggle

"That… was amazing…." she sighed, reaching up to hold her face in her hands

"P-please keep going.." she pleaded "Your kisses felt nice…"

Damien melted, immediately giving into her request as he continued his affectionate display, still a bit clumsily as he worked through his food-drunk state

"You're probably.. * hff * the sweetest thing I've * hic! * ever tasted, love~" he cooed between another small bite "I might just get addicted~" he gave a low mischievous laugh as Vanessa made more flustered sounds and giggles

It was rare for Vanessa to be the one to end up so flustered she was speechless...

Damien sighed before leaning in to give her a soft kiss on the lips and carefully slumping onto the bed beside her, his belly sloshing from all the shake still inside it, a small burp coming out from the sudden movement

"I love you like this…" Vanessa finally spoke, her comment making Damien blush heavily, his round cheeks accentuated by the smile that spread across his face

"…Me too.."

The two shuffled closer to one another in bed, unspeaking as they embraced, bodies turned towards each other

The werewolf gently pulled his love into his soft body, humming in delight as he felt two small, cold hands graze his belly, rubbing in gentle circles, small gurgles and groans coming from the full belly of the lycanthrope

The pair lay there in comforting silence, the sound of each other's gentle breathing and low gurgles lulling them both into a warm, dreamless sleep

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hai :3 ABFUIJDSKGS

That's it XD Hope yall liked it, just don't expect much written stuff from me in the future, I'm much better at storytelling through a visual format than I am with written stuff, but I had fun writing this nonetheless!! Hope this blurb makes yall as feral for these two as I am BHFDSIJKGDSB

#we've got sugar spice and everything nice in this bitch #softcitrus damien #softcitrus vanessa #softcitrus writing #softcitrus art #weight gain #stuffing #funnel feeding #bhm #m/f romance #wg fluff #wg encouragement #weight gain writing #weight gain art

[reissuedmommyissues]

Band Practice

Melissa Schemmenti/f!reader

Warnings: alcohol ig

Words:1900ish

A/N: Listen yall English is my second language and I have not written anything since fanfiction.net was popular. It's also not proofread because I got too shy to show it to my partner/proofreader. Sooooo yeah have fun with that.

Melissa while not keen on newer staff surprisingly didn't hate the recent hire for Abbott. Primarily hired on as the new librarian you had started to double as IT after fixing a couple of computers in the library. Melissa admired that you were willing to do two jobs for the price of one, or at least that's what she told herself she hadn't been actively seeking you out for any other reason than to fix technology and library-related things.

Melissa walked into the breakroom and took her usual seat by Barbara "Hey Barb have you seen our tech guru, I need her to take a look at my projector, blew a fuse or somethin'" Barbara just raises her eyebrows and gives Melissa a knowing look, "Seems like you've been looking for Ms.L/N more and more often as of late" she has no time to respond before you walk in and head straight for the coffee, grumbling about a lack of sleep.

"Woah there hon get into a fight this morning, ya look a bit crazy" Melissa jokes. You turn to look at her in your half-asleep state, gaze lingering for longer than usual, not something that slips past Melissa "Not quite I stayed up later than I usually do, you know night owl and all that" Melissa narrowed her eyes, you hoped she wouldn't push further, the last thing you want is for her to figure out you've been preparing for a gig with your new band. Not that it was bad but you just felt it was dorky and you would rather not have your crush or coworkers comment on it.

"Well some of us were gonna go out for drinks today I was hoping you'd come with" Melissa could feel a blush creeping up her neck, she'd tried inviting you out very casually a couple of times but besides the occasional lunch, you seemed to always be busy. You bit your lip flattered that the redheaded beauty was inviting you herself. But with a gig today you definitely couldn't cancel, you attempt to come up with a decent excuse but in between a lack of sleep and brain cells in the morning you don't come up with much "I'd love to Melissa really but I.... uhh have a thing, after school rain check?" You flash an apologetic smile and are out before she can say anything else.

This put Melissa in a sour mood for the rest of the day, it didn't help that when lunch came around you were nowhere to be found. Melissa frowned maybe you didn't actually like her, she felt like a fool. Maybe she was too old for you and she read too far into your exchanges taking them as flirty, all of a sudden all she could feel were her insecurities swallowing her up.

Barbara ever in tune with her work wife set her book down and cleared her throat. "Girl, what in the Lord's name has got you in such a foul mood?" Melissa huffs and shifts in her chair, "Nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong why would anything be wrong I am living the dream Barb" She knew better than to lie to her closest friend but she hated being this vulnerable. Barb wasn't blind she had been watching both of you closely noticing how you started to buy Melissa pastries from her favorite shop and how she in turn began to bring you some of her famous baked ziti. "Maybe you should ask her when she's free, it seems she's nearly always busy on weekends perhaps she's free other days?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Barbara shakes her head, "Look I'm just saying that maybe you should look into it, rather than assuming Y/N doesn't like you" Melissa's eyes go wide "Keep your voice down" She didn't want to embarrass herself over some crush or cause Y/N any issues. "Whatever the deal is doesn't matter I do not want to think about it, I just wanna make it through the rest of the day and get to that happy hour"

************

As if things couldn't get worse, Jacob picked the happy hour joint and it was not their usual spot. Something about broadening horizons and how live music would really benefit them. Melissa didn't like it nothing was wrong with their usual bar and she highly doubted whatever Jacob had dragged them into would be worth it but he offered to pay for drinks and that was good enough for her. Jacob skipped over to their table nearly missing the chair "Wow look at us I love it when the whole Abbott family goes out for drinks, I wish Y/N was here though she's been with us for a while and hasn't gone to any of the happy hours" at the mention of your name Melissa perked up and curiosity got the better of her. "What do you guys think she does, seems like she always leaves right as school ends on the weekends"

"My vote is on stripper" everyone turns to Ava, "what have you seen what she wears it's all baggy clothing we don't know what she has under that"

"I'm not super sure about that, what about a part-time emt that could be it, maybe she's got some scars she's covering up from saving lives" Janine ever the optimist would assume this with little to no context.

Ava pretty convinced she was right follows up "Or she could be one of those strippers that go to your house dressed as an EMT for a lil surprise"

The conversation goes back and forth for a while, meanwhile, Melissa nurses a beer still miffed over your rejection. Barbara notices her friend's discomfort and looks around the bar to see if there is a pool table to distract Melissa. Instead, her eyes land on the stage right as the band starts playing.

"Good god, what is she wearing?" Barbara's shock has everyone at the table looking in the same direction even Melissa looked over confused by the outburst. Come to find you're on the stage concentrated on your instrument, ready for your queue to begin. Gone was the usual oversized sweater and baggy pants instead u wore a long-sleeved crop top and the tightest jeans Melissa had ever seen. She felt silly but she couldn't stop staring at your hands. Your sleeves were rolled up to the elbow revealing defined forearms and deft fingers running across a bass. Even from a distance, she could see you were very good at what you were doing resulting in not-so-tame mental images of your hands undressing her, holding her down, wrapped around her thighs - Jesus she was like a teenager again getting hot and bothered by just the thought of you. Ava must have caught her gawking and leaned over "If you don't get a move on and take her out, I will cuz damn who knew our librarian was this hot"

Melissa glares at Ava has everyone figured her out, she turns back to see your performance not wanting to miss any more of it. She'd never seen you like this so casual, relaxed, and all-around sexy. She wonders if this is why you always left so soon being part of a band would make sense but why wouldn't you say anything, she hopes this is the case failing to push her former insecurities back down. Your band wasn't a fancy ordeal you went up on stage and played some of your songs but mostly did covers. Still, Melissa couldn't take her eyes off you and it only got worse when you started to sing yourself, she was pretty sure you couldn't see her or any of the Abbott staff but the way you were facing and the suggestive lyrics had her feeling like maybe just maybe you could be directing them at her.

As soon as the performance came to a close Janine and Jacob cheered and drew the attention of everyone in the bar including Y/N and the band.

*********

Welp so much for not getting found out. Jay leans over and taps you with a drumstick "Yo Y/N do they know you?" You look back over at your coworkers hoping not to see your favorite redhead, indeed luck was not on your side as you caught her eye. "Uhh yeah those are my coworkers, I'll catch up with yall later"

Melissa looked mad, not sure what else to do, and feeling like you may as well accompany the embarrassment with a drink you headed to the bar and waved her over. "Double shot of tequila and a Corona please" The bartender nods and pours the shot following it up with a swift opening of your beer.

"Suprised you drink considering you've always said no to it" You look over at Mel, she's extremely close due to the crowded bar top and you can feel her press up against you causing your head to spin. You pick up your shot and down it finding comfort in the heat you feel in your chest.

"Yeah I haven't had the time to go out since I've been filling in for the band, I'm sorry" At the mention of that Melissa visibly relaxes, gone was the anger from before, maybe there was still a chance this could go well? "You know you could've just said you had to go practice for your band" she almost sounded shy, "I would've understood if you were busy" You look over at the redhead suprised to see her so vulnerable.

Reaching over you tuck a stray hair behind her ear, "It's silly didn't want you to know because it made me feel like a dork, I've been trying so hard to impress you it felt like a step backward to tell you I have band practice" Melissa feels a blush creep up and sneaks a glance at you. At that almost confession, the proximity between you two, and the sexiest outfit she's ever seen she once again felt like some goddam horny teenager. Capitalizing on the brief liquid courage of the shot you figured why the hell not make a move. In a burst of confidence, you lean into Melissa and pull her by the collar of her leather jacket, still distracted by the tight jeans she barely realizes what you're attempting to do. The kiss is tame, impossibly soft, gentle, and over way too soon for Melissa's liking.

"I.....oh my god I'm so sorry I should have asked" Melissa was stunned and taking her silence as a negative you start to freak out "I've just been wanting to do that for a while and I've wanted to ask you out but you make me so goddam nervous an-" it's then Melissa who can't help herself she pulls you back in by the waist for another kiss, this one was rougher, hungrier she felt a roller coaster of emotions today and this felt like the only outlet. She pulls back to look at you with that trademark Schemmenti smirk "Feelings mutual hon"

You feel your heart swell at her confession,

"Well to make up for all the missed outings how do you feel about going out for dinner tomorrow?"

Melissa leans in very close for her answer "Hon with those pants I'll follow you anywhere"

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti

[kurisus]

Noragami reread: Volume 1 & 2 thoughts

So it begins, my final reread before the end.

It really is so interesting how the first chapter has fuck all to do with the rest of the manga. Yato using the same call to Hanki as he would to name a shinki, Mutsumi creating something like an ayakashi that never comes up again, the fact that she herself never makes another appearance, and of course the most important question: why Yato was looting toilet paper if gods don't poop. I'm sure this is because it was a pilot of sorts and Adachitoka was still figuring stuff out, but it's interesting.

And on that note, remember when ayakashi were plot relevant? It's not really a complaint--I think there were more important things to cover--but they seem to gradually be phased out of the story and otherwise transformed. Same goes for borderlines and blight.

I forgot Yato told Hiyori "under normal circumstances, I'd love to have you as my shinki" IN CHAPTER GODDAMN TWO. No further comment.

Still get full body chills when Yato names Yukine, especially ever since we found out Yukine's past...it still devastates me to know he's been carrying that this whole time.

And when Yato first reverts Yukine, he offers him his jacket and tells him "you have nothing to be afraid of anymore." He's not being funny, he's genuinely trying to reassure him. It goes poorly, but he still cared. He always cared. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [thrashing]

The last thing I wanna mention from this volume is that I thought Yukine lived quite far from Hiyori, but I guess it was roughly in the same city. It's so sad to think about these two separate stories that never converged until decades later.

Moving on to volume 2, it's really apparent with every reread that even though the ideas keep changing, the themes stay constant. There are so many lines of what could ostensibly be foreshadowing but really they're more reflections of the themes. To pick a random example, when Hiyori is talking about Yato's distaste of suicidal people, she says her father (a doctor) would never give up on a person's life. This can be tied to the situation happening at the time--Yato appears to be acting selfish by refusing to help--but it also has a double meaning showing how he, in the present, will become someone who would never give up on Hiyori's life. Yall mind if I cry.

Not much else from this volume, but I did have a few short Discord reactions to share from both:

See you tomorrow, or perhaps the following day (depending on if I do 2 at once again)!

#live update #Noragami reread #GoodbyeNoragami

[nolzo]

you sit next to: adrien agreste

i'm starting a series where i make hcs about a character from miraculous sitting next to you. please request any characters you'd like from this fandom!!

adrien agreste

- he is a starer

- like full 90 degree turn staring directly at you

- he fidgets quite a bit in his seat (that is because of a specific hc about them that has to do with chat noir's powers, lmk if yall want to hear it)

- clicking his pen, tapping his desk, bouncing his leg

- takes a while before they get over their nerves and start talking to you. like it's just my classmate it shouldn't be hard to talk to you

- once he does, however, he does not stop . talking to you

- especially if you're the type to not talk much, they'll talk enough for the both of you and then some

- has gotten in trouble once for talking too much during class . refuses to verbally communicate during direct instruction now

- slips notes or types messages on their tablet for you to read instead

- when everyone is just working on an assignment he starts talking all over again

- god forbid you sit next to him in science with mendeleiev

- regardless of whichever type of science it is, be it physics or biology or astronomy, they will gush about chemistry

- he is such a chem nerd . they will not stop talking about anything chem related

- has a periodic table phone case or something because they're that much of a nerd

- their actual periodic table (paper) has so many notes on it it's almost illegible

- "oh, this is just the molecular geometry of covalent bonds. i put them under each group that has those characteristics, except the CNOPS monster is always linear."

"monster??"

"yea, you know, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus, and sulfur? they double or triple bond with each other so they're always linear. anyways, this is just to denote the diatomic elements. these numbers are the max atoms in each orbital for electron confi-"

- in one ear and out the other

- he actually doesn't mind that you blank out when he talks about chemistry a lot because sometimes he blanks out when he talks too long himself

- has a passion project about spiderman and (guess) . chemistry

- is determined to figure out the chemical makeup of spiderman's web fluid

- works on it during every minute of free time they have during classes

- if mendeleiev's room has a portable whiteboard (like the one with wheels) they will bring it to yall's desk and start calculating a whole bunch of random stuff for their passion project

- talks to you and asks questions about that passion project as if you even know what he's talking about

- "so apparently in canon, peter's web fluid is made of salicylic acid, toulene, methanol, carbon tetrachloride, potassium carbonate, and ethyl acetate. which, honestly, isn't a bad formula, but i feel like it needs to be more akin to actual spider silk. dragline silk is the strongest spider silk, from the golden orb-weaving spider. if we base the web fluid off this we would need a combination of the proteins spidroin 1 and 2 to make fibroin. i'm not sure of the exact ratio but i'd need roughly 42% glycine and 25% alani-"

- in one ear and out the other pt. 2

- does this weird wave thing when yall see each in the hallway where he does not lift his hand but still waved at you. like his arm is parallel to his body but is twisting like he's waving at you

- this is because he is very shy

- trills(?) when he's very happy because uh oh i've done it again i hc adrien as autistic (i did not mention that in my previous hc post. will do that now)

- verbal stims: trills, that one breathy growl thingy(?), purrs (i say it's canon. you cannot disagree), popping sound under their breath (mostly just for the movement not the sound)

- guess what the weird wave thing is actually a stim omg guys who would've guessed

- another verbal stim!!!! this one tiktok song(?) where it goes "i hopped. into a coffee shop. and then my jaw dropped in shock when i saw a girl who had cool pants. they made me want to dance..." i'm going to link it here. they really like the jumpy(?) beat

- always asks you for a pencil because the only ones they have are the bad twisty ones with the weird noisy lead and you have the good clicky pencils with the sharp lead

- sometimes during assignments when he (surprisingly) doesn't feel like talking he puts on headphones and blasts the icarly theme song and vkei (exclusively mejibray. he has a hard time listening to new artists)

- gifts you a spiderman lego set for your birthday

- you thought they only gush about chemistry? wrong he loves spiderman too

- in one ear and out the other pt. 3

- overall, yall's seating arrangement reveals a different side to them that most do not get to know. you get to learn about chemistry-and-spiderman-obsessed-nerd-who-likes-icarly-and-probably-hunterxhunter*-adrien, not just adrien agreste the fragrance

*i forgot adrien watching anime is canon

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous fandom #miraculous lb #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous headcanon #adrien agreste #miraculous fanworks #i actually rmbr some stuff from chemistry #i am almost a chem nerd #did i actually search up the chemical components of spidermans web fluid for this #yes i did #brainrot #miraculous ladybug adrien #adrien man i love them #akuma class #you sit next to #nolzo

[hetafluidtexan]

How Many Ships & Trios exist within Hetalia?

Howdy everyone!

As we all know as Hetalians, shipping is a key part of fandom space, with many of the most famed writers and artists in the fandom being known for their ships!

And as we know, there are many many ships, sometimes it seems like an endless number of them! However, there are a very finite amount of characters in Hetalia, and only so many ways you can arrange any set of characters in a duo or trio.

This of course naturally raises the question, how many ships can possibly exist within the fandom? 50? 100? 250?

That there, my guys gals and enby pals is what this post hopes to answer!

The key to answering this equation without manually listing every possible ship is a little known thing called the Combination Equation. What is the Combination Equation?

It is this beauty! Now, for those of yall who aren't familiar with Combinations and Permutations, this may seem like some complex abomination. But in reality, it is a very simple equation!

To explain it, imagine you have 6 fruits - an apple, orange, pear, grapes, kiwi, and banana - in total but can only fit 2 into you lunch bag. How many Combinations of fruit can you have? Rather than manually calculating it by counting every single combination, you can just use the equation!

You have 4 fruits, so you put n = 6, as n is just how many of whatever you have, be that fruits or Hetalia Nendoroids. Next, because you only have enough room for 2 fruits, you put r = 2, as r just means the size of your combination groups, be it space for fruits or how many Nendoroid stands you have. Then you just put it in a calculator and hurrah! You have 15 possible combinations of fruit! It is also very important to note that the difference between Combinations and Permutations is if order is important; Combinations view ABC, ACB, and BCA as all the same, while Permutations view all three as seprate.

Now we understand the basic math, we can move onto the core question: How can we use this to find how many possible Hetalia ships are there?

Well to begin with, we need to figure out our n value, which in this case is just how many characters are in all of Hetalia! Well, almost. In Hetalia, if we include only canonical characters and only those that are 1pHetalia ones, we have a total of 71 Characters. However, 8 of those character, meaning we really end up with 63 characters! So our n = 63!

Now for the r value, to start, we will just say r = 2 to represent ever 1x1 ship!

But before we can put it all in, we need to add one thing: - s. Why? Well, because at the moment we have one issue, that being this equation has ALL possible ships, which also means it includes less savory ones. However, we don't want to remove one character and their dozens of ships over just a single unsavory one, so we can set s to equal however many ships we wish to disregard. In this case, I will set it to s = 6, meaning 6 will be removed from the final total.

So what number do we get from this?

DRUM ROLL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE!

Meaning, if we set ourselves to 1pHeta and 1x1 ships, there are 1,885 ships! That's a lot You have to admit, but l can't help feel that's a bit small, and that's largely because we put on very strict restrictions; So how about we try some more generous ones?

To start with, how about we double our n value so instead n = 62, we set it to n = 124! Afterall, Nyotalia or 2ptalia are very common in the fandom, so how about we account for them in our ships as well? Doing so, and setting s = 12 to account for the doubling, we wind up with this equation

And from this we get...

7,614! Now that's a hell of a jump I'd say! Certainly, our 1x1 shippers out there will have no shortage of ships for a long long time!

But what about our polyamorous and trio loving friends? Fear not, you have not been forgotten, as by changing r from r = 2 to r = 3, even with just the original n = 62, while leaving s = 12 just to be safe, this will undoubtably make a difference as our equation now looks like such

And how many lovely polyamorous loves and bff trios are we rewarded with?

Even more than before at 37,808 trios! It really goes to show there will never be any shortage of ships or trios for a long long time, and that if you pick any three characters at random, chances are you'll have a trio no one has ever made before, that's crazy!

Now, how about we break this?

If we multiply 62 by four, we get n = 248, accounting for every single 1pHetalia, 1pNyotalia, 2pHetalia, and 2pNyoCharacter based off canon ones that exist, a truly massive number. To show some mercy, let is return to r = 2 and double s to s = 24, which seems like a very harsh restriction and gives us the equation of

So what do we get from this equation?

...well that wasn't supposed to happen, lets see if we can figure out what went wrong

248 - 2 = 246, and since its a factorial, lets plug it into another site to see what we get from this

Ah, well them... Perhaps Scientific Notation will be able to clarify this?

Well no wonder Desmos broke, at *10^482, that's a number bigger than the amount of atoms in the universe - quite literally, as its estimated there are 10^80 atoms in the universe, not even a fifth as big as the number we got as the total number of atoms in the universe vs 246! is 16.598%, or in otherwords, if ever atom in the universe was a number from 1 to 246!, you would only get 16.598% of the way there before you ran out of atoms.

Its crazy to think our little fandom can literally create something bigger than the number of atoms in the universe! And, if you want to toy around with possibly universe breaking numbers, or something more mundane just like how many lesbian ships exist in Hetalia or how many European squads there are, I present to you: The Hetalia Fandom Ship Calculator

Entirely free for anyone to use, just follow all the attached note info, and use it as you please to learn as much as your heart desires!

But for now my lovely guys and gals and enby pals, I must go, I promise to return soon, and until then, drink some water, get some food and rest, and have a most lovely of days!

#hetalia #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #hws #aph #axis powers hetalia #world stars hetalia #hetalia ship #hetalia theory #hetalia headcanons #hetalia hc #hetalia hcs #hetafluidtexan

[carrickbender]

Sonntag seiben

1. September in the PNW means harvesting and putting in things for the winter that give hope that, at some point, we will see the sun again and taste the sweet goodness of the gifts of nature. This year is special because another generation of our family gets to decide their fate as either pickers or non-pickers. I've always been a picker since I was probably a bit older than Henry; My grandmere and I would dutifully pick the tiny delicious huckleberries right on the border of Idaho and Montana, and one of our favourite patches was yards away from where one of her relatives surveyed in the state lines of Montana(plot twist: it's backwards). My mom, on the other hand, was born a non-picker who often loved finding a nice shady spot with a book. Thankfully, as she and I were both raised as only children, she has become a picker because berries won't pick themselves and blackberries are awful to pick. And Buggy was such a trooper: he started off picking berries but then he just wanted to eat berries even double fisting them. Tradition can be so delicious.

2. I finished my 2 weeks at Medline on Saturday, and they were absolutely good people for whom to work. And on Tuesday, I start with a municipal organization in emergency mitigation services, which should be a good job. Its a serious pay cut from Cosmo, but I cant wait any longer. And with graduation looming for me at CWU and my MBA application submitted, my options are expanding by the day. I refuse to be blind to the silver lining to my loss of my job at Cosmo, and I am open to the lessons that the universe is teaching me.

3. So for a long time I couldn't wrap my head around affirmations, but now that I'm doing them, I feel different. I think maybe, just maybe, the reset has begun and I'm looking at how I reclaim grace. To all who helped: much love.

4. To all of you who do online tutoring, what do you think of it? I have some expertise, and I think I could parlay it into a little more income and use it for the benefit of others. Thoughts?

5. We find out this week what sort of pre-k/transitional kindergarten programme Buggy will be in this fall. And, cool thing: H was also accepted into our local college and is going to be finishing her degree in Chemical dependency counseling. Her sobriety not withstanding, she is so smart and if she wouldn't have had her oldest son so young she could have done anything. She was studying to become a nurse when "life" and a few other things got in the way, and I think how much of a loss it was, truly. So having her go back to school is truly making sure the smartest person in this house gets to use that amazing brain for good of others and not just making good stuff like the boule in the picture.

6. Jimmy Buffet and Bill Richardson, on the same day? I got to meet Bill and hear him speak, and he was truly a champion for the forgotten and unjustly imprisoned. And Jimmy... I heard so many stories of him playing the Elbow room in Dutch Harbour and Tony's in Kodiak that, turns out were all true. While he might have been seen as a brand, some of his lyrics really hit my old broken down ass self pretty hard. And like his lyric said,

"I hope you're enjoying the scenery

I know that it's pretty up there

We can go hiking on Tuesday

With you I'd walk anywhere

California has worn me quite thin

I just can't wait to see you again"

Peace be with them...

7. The agates and the quartz glass are from a local beach, and 3 generations of hands have touched them. 3...Somewhere, my father figure is proud and glad it took(and that his great grandson loves rocks and getting dirty, just like him).

If you are still reading this, don't labour tomorrow. Rest. Relax. It's been a hard 9 months, and judging by our mountain ash bushes here, it's going to be a long miserable winter. Many blessings yall, and be kind to yourselves and take a moment. If my stubborn ass can finally say, and mean it, "I love the person I am becoming", you can too.

Much love!!!!

#me #this is my life #singer songwriter #dadlife #exhausted #henry adam #washington state #in repair #blackberries #huckleberries #daniel hickey

[darkaviarymc]

Also I'm very sorry I hyped up the scarian escort Grian and blackjack dealer Scar AU and then never spoke of it again I'm going to tease yall one more time before I go finish chapter 1

"So," Scar said, turning his attention to Grian.  "Old fashioned?"  Scar looked Grian up and down with an expression Grian couldn't quite read. "I wouldn't have clocked you as the bourbon type.  You seem more like a tequila kinda guy."

Grian smirked and made eye contact that was critical to his goal.  "How'd you know?"  He placed down another bet, larger than the last, for the next game.  He kept a chip in his hand, fidgeting with it to quell his nervousness that he might have just been caught putting on an act.

"I do more than deal cards you know," Scar answered, ironic as he said so while dealing cards.  "Half my job is reading people."

"Oh?"  Grian looked down at his cards.  Seven and five.  Twelve was low enough to hit, but was it worth doubling down?  The dealers card was a jack.  Take risks but don't be reckless, he silently reminded himself and tapped the table, noticing that the green haired hipster did the same.

"So why order an old fashioned when you'd rather have a Paloma?"  

Grian shrugged.  "New town, new bar, new job, figured I'd, as you'd say in your line of work, double down." Grian waggled his eyebrows and watched a slow smile spread across Scar's face.  

"I think I like you." Scar glanced down and his smile waned.  "Too bad for that hand, though."

"Hm?" Grian looked down and realized he'd been to caught up with Scar that he hadn’t noticed he'd already been hit.

Ten, making his hand twenty two.  Bust. 

Gonna go ahead and tag @takebadger (let me know if you'd rather not be tagged)

#hermitshipping #scarian #blackjack au #alchohol cw #gambling cw

[mushroom-winners-proof]

do i make a separate blog for all the intern au stuff tho

#intern riku au #snap chats #only because im very happy with how much we all talk bout it and i wanna have it all somewhere yk what i mean #but do i then double that as a funny ask blog #I Say Knowing I've Run Many Ask Blogs In The Past And Know Damn Well How Much Work Goes Into Them #hmmm that hasnt stoped me before now has it #what do yall think- if i made it i'd prob rb all the posts from this one onto there #i wouldnt delete them from this one but yk. just have em all somewhere #im very weird about organization yk like i just need to keep things all in one place #cause like i wanna be able to explore some scenarios and stuff and maybe reply to stuff in-character #but i dont wanna flood this blog since this do be my regular kh/ff blog yk what i mean #i could always rb posts i really like back to this one but hmmm #what y'all think lemme know #ima sleep in a bit so we'll figure out what i do in the morn

[classicrewind]

Tomorrow Never Knows

Chapter Nine

The break hardly seemed to last a day before it was time for new term to begin.  Classes resumed once more and Anna was thrown back into the ebb and flow that was her hectic life. With the album launch right around the corner and a world tour soon to follow, she was kept busy at Swan Song. This left little time for her outside of school and the Times for anything other than her day to day activities. Tonight was the English department’s student-faculty gala to kick off the new term. She never looked forward to these events as they forced her to hide her entire relationship with Paul. Anna was in her office, tackling her already immense workload in the peace and quiet until Paul was to return from lecture. Her head was buried inside an Oscar Wilde book when she heard a light rap at the door.  Peering up from the pages, she crossed the room before pulling it open. A young woman stood on the other side. A student. She was tall, thin, beautiful. About the age of twenty-one or so, she had long, strawberry blonde hair and bright blue eyes that stared widely all around. "What can I help you with?" Anna asked, pulling the door open wide. One of Paul’s students. "Is - Is Pau - I mean, Professor Andrews in?" Shaking her head, Anna leaned against the door frame. "No, I’m afraid not. He’s in his last lecture of the day. Is there something I can help you with?" The girl shook her head vigorously before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh, uh, no thank you. I just really needed to see him." Puzzled by her anxious demeanor, Anna narrowed her eyes slightly. Sensing her confusion, the girl blurted out again. "Oh, that’s not what I meant! I’m in his American Lit class, but I’ll just, uh, stop back later." She said, turning to head back down the hall. Anna held her hand out for a second, stopping the girl. "One second, let me just get your name, and I’ll let him know you’ve stopped by." She stopped, staring up into Anna’s eyes. "I’m Carolyn." She then proceeded to stick her hand out. Anna felt all of her breath leave her system as she wracked her brain trying to remember where she’d heard the name before. ‘You are never to call here again, Carolyn. Do you hear me?’ It was Christmas Eve. She could feel sweat start to form on the back of her neck as she finally recognized the girl in front of her. C. Slowly taking Carolyn’s hand, she shook it. "Nice to meet you, I’ll him know you came by." "Will you both be at the mixer tonight?" She asked, smoothing out a wrinkle in her dress. Anna swallowed thickly before nodding. "Y - yes." "Then, I’ll probably see you later!" She said before flouncing out the door and down the corridor. Anna immediately closed the office door behind her before falling back against it.  Breathe. Anna, breathe. Dropping her hands, she crossed the room back over to her desk before resuming her place. Without thinking, she picked up the telephone and called Swan Song. Within two rings, Peter picked up. "Hi, Peter. Is Jim in today?" She asked him, cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Nope. Stepped out about twenty minutes ago. Sorry, Anna." As soon as the words left his mouth, she could hear rustling on the other end of the line before Robert’s voice came through. "Anna? You there?" She smiled at the sound of his always cheerful voice. "Hello, Robert. How are you?" "Uh - oh. What’s wrong?" As she took a breath to answer, she heard some mumbling over the line before hearing Peter yell out something along the lines of ‘Get your own fucking office’ before the door slammed shut behind him.

She closed her eyes, taking in the silence on the other end of the line. She took a deep breath before starting. "I’ve just got a lot on my mind, I guess. Maybe it’s just starting to get to me, I don’t know." "Talk to me. Tell me about it." And she wanted to, really. But she couldn’t. She could barely tell Jim half of what was going on in her head. She shook her head. "Oh, it’s nothing. School stuff. Why don’t you tell me about your day? That would make me happy." He chuckled. "Well, if you say so. Let’s see, the Prince of Peace woke up soundly this morning, as he usually does on wonderful days like these. The sun was streaming through his curtains and he awoke with a feeling that today was going to be a good day..." As he started the beginnings of a fantastic rendition, Anna felt herself finally relax, leaning back into her desk chair. A distraction was exactly what she needed. "And that’s how he came to be on the phone with just the nicest girl one could meet. Anna, I think her name was? Yes, he could never forget a name like that." He laughed. "Do you feel better now?" He asked her, his voice returning once more to its normal caliber. She laughed softly. "Yes, thank you. That was just what I needed. If he returns to studio, could you just let Jim know I called?" "Of course. Anything for you, dear. You have a good night, okay?" "You too, your majesty." As she placed the phone back in the receiver, her eyes followed Paul as he entered the office. Shutting the door behind him, he set his briefcase down on his desk. "Who was that?" "Swan Song. Peter had a few last minute alterations before the launch next week." She could sense him starting to grow tense as she finished her sentence. Quickly, she changed the subject, crossing one leg over the other. "How was lecture?" Sitting down at his desk, he leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head. "Long. And today isn’t even close to being over yet.” His voice dropped to a hush as he rubbed his eyes. “God, all I want to do is just climb into bed with you and blow this whole thing off." She felt butterflies form in her stomach as the words left his mouth. Feeling a smile tug at the corners of her lips, she reached for him."Me too." She said softly, crossing the room to his desk. Within a moment he reached up as she stood before him and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. She swiftly climbed into his lap, straddling him before placing one hand lightly upon on his cheek. Her thumb traced softly over his lips. "Can’t we stay in tonight? When was the last time we just stayed in bed?" She murmured before placing her lips gently upon his. "Far too long." He replied, his hands slipping swiftly up her blouse, meeting her breasts with ease. She slowly let her head fall back as he cupped each of them, letting his thumbs flick over her now erect nipples. "Oh, Paul." "My sweet Anna. All mine." He whispered before using one hand to reach under her skirt. Finding her panties, he pulled the material to the side before slipping his fingers between her folds. "And you’re absolutely soaking." He growled, drawing in a breath. "Oh, my - Paul." She gasped out as her hips began to grind against his growing erection. He let his thumb flick erratically over her clit, watching in excitement as she began to unravel. "Oh, please. Please." She softly begged to him as he slowly inserted his fingers into her. "Only if you’ll promise to be a quiet little girl for me, okay?" He responded, gripping her hips tightly, rendering her motionless. Anna opened her eyes, nodding vigorously as she met his gaze. Quickly Paul unfastened his belt buckle, swiftly pulling out his erection. Placing his hands under her bum, he slowly lifted her up before placing himself at her entrance. Closing her eyes once more, she gently lowered herself back down, moaning loudly as the entire length of him filled her up. Immediately, Paul placed his hand over her mouth. "I told you, you must be quiet. Do you hear me?" Biting her lip, she nodded once more as he began to establish a steady pace. Still straddling him, she spread her legs wider, granting him easier access as his entire length was drilled into her.

"Oh, Paul - oh - my - " Her voice was strained as she whimpered as softly as she could. His pace soon grew quick and rough he gripped her hips and tore up into her. “All mine. Do you hear me?" He whispered as he gripped the ends of her hair, pulling on them. “Let me hear you say it. Now.” He ordered, tugging hard on her hair. Anna let out a loud moan somewhere between pain and pleasure as Paul held her head back. “I - I'm yours. I b – belong to you.” She stammered, her whimpers growing subsequently louder as his pace grew faster. He quickly clamped his hand back over her mouth. “You’re doing so good, don’t spoil it now. I don’t want to have to punish you.” His breath was hot in her ear as she gasped as softly as she could.“Oh – I”

As punishment, Paul bucked as hard as he could into her, causing her to cry out. He kept his hand tight against her mouth as he roughly fucked her. She held nothing back as she moaned loudly into his palm, her cries unrelenting. He felt a surge of lust tear through him as his hips continued to thrust needlessly up into her.  "That’s my girl." He murmured before letting out a deep, guttural moan. He was close, and judging by the gasps coming from her mouth he could tell she wasn’t far behind. He dropped his hand from her lips and tightly gripped her hips once more before giving her everything he had left in him. Her eyes wide, she bit her lip hard, trying her best to conceal the sounds escaping her. "I – I’m close - Paul." She whimpered, arching her back as he held her in place, guiding her up and down. Within moments, his thrusts began to grow sloppy as he reached climax.He was close too, and Anna’s strangled cries were sending him straight over the edge. Letting out another moan, he allowed himself release. She followed soon after, riding it out to his rapidly slowing pace. Gasping quietly, she collapsed against his chest. Her chest was heaving as she struggled to regain her breath. Slipping his hands once more under her skirt, Paul rested his hands on her bum before murmuring, "You know I love you, right?" She lifted her head from his chest before gazing up into his deep brown eyes. She responded with a brief nod. "And I love you." The words felt strangely foreign on her tongue, like a language she used to speak but now she no longer understood. She brushed a lock of hair from her face before pulling her blouse back down over her bare chest. She sat up straight and adjusted his tie. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him delicately. Her soft lips met his innocently before she pulled away. He gripped her bum once more before his hands made their way up to her flushed cheeks. "Come on. We’ve got a party to get ready for."

As Paul put the car in park and killed the lights, he turned to Anna. "I’ll go in first, you follow a few minutes after?" She nodded her head languidly. "Of course. I’ll see you in there." She hated this. Hated having to pretend. But it was unavoidable. She watched him step out of the car before quickly heading inside the dean’s mansion. Rolling her window down a crack, she pulled out a half empty pack of cigarettes from her coat pocket and lit one. Leaning her head back, she thought about Carolyn. She really is beautiful. Is he happy with her? Happier than he is with me? Why hasn’t he left me? As she ashed part of her cigarette out the window, she felt her eyes start to well. Today was a roller coaster of a day. A quickie in the office? When has he ever acted like that with me? Paul had become completely unpredictable; a loving partner one day, and a controlling, secretive bastard the next. She couldn’t keep up anymore, it was too tiring. And now that she’d finally come face to face with the other woman in the picture, it was the icing on the cake. But he still loves me. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t left me. She blew out a heavy cloud of smoke before flicking the butt out the window. Rolling it back up, she spritzed some perfume on her neck before stepping out of the car. Pulling her coat tight against her, she took a deep breath and headed into the mansion. "Anna, you look lovely tonight. How are you?" She was greeted by the dean of the English department, Angela. "Thank you. I’m well. And you?" She replied, handing her coat to the doorman. "Just fine. Are classes going well? You still enjoying your T.A. position?" She inquired. "Yes, everything is fine. It’s looking to be another good term." Angela smiled before turning to another professor who’d just entered the mansion. Taking the opportunity to slip out of sight, she headed into the main hall. Nestled in the corner was the bar. She kept an observant eye out for Paul as she made her way over, but he was currently nowhere to be seen. "Riesling, please." As the bartender poured her drink, she turned back to the scene unfolding in front of her. God, I hate these. Professors mingled left and right, most simply trying to talk over each other, as if to proclaim that their ideas were more important. These things were always the same. One big pissing contest. Her attention was soon caught by a gaggle of students entering the room. Immediately she spotted Carolyn amongst them, wearing a pale blue dress, her long hair curled softly. Unconsciously, Anna looked down at her own black dress. She could feel a sense of inadequacy wash over her.

She reached up and ran a tentative hand through her auburn hair. Biting her lip, she grabbed her drink from off the bar and took a generous sip, followed by another. "Slow down, you don’t want to make a scene tonight." She heard Paul murmur from behind her. Turning around, she gave him a half-smile. "Can’t help it. You know these things bring it out of me." "Well, watch yourself. I don’t want to have to hold your hair back because you couldn’t control yourself." He replied coldly before taking a small sip of his scotch. Here we go again. Her smile faded as she watched his attention slowly drift away from her. "I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me." She replied as he continued to look straight through her. She slowly turned to follow his line of sight. Without looking yet, she already knew. Carolyn.

There she stood across the room talking to a professor, her head thrown back in laughter. Anna took another sip of wine before turning back to Paul. "I wish we were home. We could pick up where we left off earlier..." She offered, toying with his tie, desperately trying to recapture his attention. He tore his eyes from across the room before glaring at her. "Shh! For Christ sakes, people can hear you! Keep your voice down." He hissed, his brows furrowing in irritation. Immediately she felt the sting of rejection as his attention returned once more to the beautiful girl across the room. She frowned, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the floor.  "I’m sorry. I just really don’t want to be here." He sighed heavily in annoyance. "Then go. No one’s forcing you to be here." And you’d like that very much, wouldn’t you? She finished off her glass of wine before setting it down on the bar. As she opened her mouth to speak, he cut her off. "Look stay or don’t stay, but don’t expect me to run after you." Fucking typical. Paul downed the last of his drink before setting it on the bar and making a beeline for Carolyn.

Crossing her arms, she bit her lip watching him cross the room. Heading straight over to Carolyn and two other professors, he stuck his hand out, greeting them. Anna watched as she took his hand eagerly, gazing up into his eyes. He stared back down at her, breaking out in a smile before greeting the others. As she continued to observe from afar, she noticed that Carolyn’s eyes never left Paul. She watched him intently with a look in her eyes that Anna recognized immediately. It was the same way in which she herself looked at him. Love.She's in love with him. She couldn’t watch anymore. Glancing anxiously around the room, she headed to the stairs, slowly making her way up them. Reaching the top, she wandered aimlessly before coming to a door, slightly ajar. Pushing it open, she was happy to find an empty study. Quietly shutting the door behind her, she crossed the room, making her way to the telephone that sat on the desk. She took a seat before dialing the number she’d had in her head all day. She began to smile as she held the phone tight against her ear. She imagined his soft voice uttering her name as it sounded through the other end of the line. Anna. It warmed her from the inside out as she pictured him at home, waiting to hear her voice as anxiously as she waited to hear his. However, the phone continued to ring with no answer. She continued to wait, her hope diminishing with each consecutive ring. Slowing tearing the phone away from her ear, she placed it back on the receiver before buying her head in hands. She sat there for a moment, in the peace and quiet trying her hardest to silence the deafening thoughts that were invading her mind. Eventually she found her way back downstairs, heading once more to the bar for another drink. "Anna? Is that you? Wow, it’s been a long time! How are you?" Picking up her drink, Anna turned to find an old friend from her undergraduate years standing beside her. "Carrie! It’s good to see you again. How are things?" She asked, embracing her former colleague. Carrie eventually pulled away, bringing her left hand up to her face. "I got engaged!" She squealed before taking a sip of her drink. Anna smiled, taking Carrie’s hand in hers, inspecting the diamond. "It’s beautiful, really. Have you set a date yet?" She shook her head, glancing at her ring. "Not yet. But hopefully within the year. As silly as it sounds, I just want to be married already!" "No," Anna replied longingly. "It’s not silly." She felt herself drift out of body as Carrie droned on about how things were since the last time they’d spoke. When Anna first met Paul, she remembered imagining her wedding day. She was naive, foolish to have gotten the cart so far ahead of the horse. She had been twenty years old, and was already wishing herself to be the bride of the first man who ever really took an affection to her.

But she’d felt something, something strong enough to imagine spending the rest of her days by his side. A simple dress, a small ceremony, a beautiful exchange of vows. That was all she wanted, something beautiful, easy. Fast forward three years, how was she to know how things would unfold? Would I still marry him if he were to propose today? "What about you? You have anyone special?" Carrie’s voice brought Anna back down to the ground. "Huh? Oh - No. No one special." She replied, shaking her head. "You will. Someone will stumble upon you, and - poof - nothing will be the same afterward. You’ll get swept away, and life will be so good to you. I can just see it now." She smiled, stroking her arm softly. Anna gave her a half-smile.  Carrie. The eternal dreamer. Hopeful optimist. Anna admired her for that, so much so that she began to feel guilty for not keeping in touch through the last few years.  But then she remembered how much easier it was go it alone these days. "God, it’s so good to see you, Anna! I had grown so used to your phone calls, every week just so we could catch up, keep each other sane through those crazy terms, and then one day they just stopped. And I never heard from you again. It was like you disappeared or something." Carrie gushed, embracing her once more. "I’m – I’m still here." She whispered, hugging her friend back, holding back the tears that threatened to form. She’d forgotten how much she’d missed having a friend to confide in. Carrie had been the closest thing to a confidant when she first moved to the city. "I’m sorry, Carrie. Really." She murmured, slowly pulling away. "It’s okay. I understand. Life gets in the way sometimes, things slip through the cracks." Carrie smiled. As Anna took a small sip of wine, she noticed Paul entering the main hall. Carolyn strode in close behind, her wide, blue eyes darting around the room as her hands busied themselves anxiously fixing her tangled curls. Paul was nursing another scotch and soda as the two quickly made their separate ways. She happily flounced her way to a small group of students while Paul turned to speak with Angela. Anna felt a hard blow to her stomach as her mind expertly pieced together where exactly they’d just been. His haphazardly buttoned shirt, the mussed hair. Anna knew. She couldn’t think straight, struggling to process Carrie’s words, as her pulse began to quicken.

All she could see was his hands on her, his lips on hers, as she gripped him tightly. Her piercing blue orbs never losing sight of his brown ones while his lips familiarized themselves with every inch of her body. Their gasps sounding in perfect harmony. Their bodies loosely intertwined. Anna couldn’t stop them, stop it. Glancing back at her friend, she excused herself. "It was so good to see you, but I really should be heading out now. I’m sorry." Carrie reached out, resting her hand on Anna’s forearm. "Let’s keep in touch, okay?" "Of course. I’ll call you." Anna reassured her before heading straight out of the main hall. Leaving Carrie at the bar, she felt bile rise in her throat. She reached the bathroom before shutting it behind her and dropping to her knees.  She dry heaved into the toilet bowl a few times before falling back against the bathroom wall. Closing her eyes, she buried her face in her hands. Fucking asshole. Right in front of my face. At least have the decency to do it when I’m not around. She heard a soft rap on the bathroom door before an urgent voice called out from the other side. "Anna. Open up. I know you’re in there." She quickly stood up, flushing the toilet. "Just give me a minute. I’ll be out in a second." A moment later, Paul stepped inside before locking the door behind him. "Told you if you didn’t control yourself you’d end up here." He said smugly, glancing over at her as she stood with her back to him at the bathroom sink. Something made her look up at the mirror and right into his eyes. Their deep shade of brown appeared almost black as they gazed back at her. Their depth photographed permanently in her brain. She whipped around, gripping the counter tightly. "Me? Control myself? You’ve got to be kidding me." She spat, her eyes narrowing in his direction. "Yeah, you’re clearly out of control, Anna. Listen to yourself. You need to go home. I said I didn’t want to have to look after you when you’re like this, and now you’ve ruined my night." He crossed the room to her, grabbing her arm. "You’re leaving. Let’s go." Anna forcefully shook herself from his grip. "I’m not drunk. I’ve had two glasses of wine tonight. I’m fine. I can’t say the same for you." He crossed his arms. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I’ve barely had anything to drink tonight. I don’t know what you’re insinuating Anna, but you better cut it out." She stood up straight, meeting his cold dark gaze. "Carolyn." Anna watched as his body slowly grew tense and rigid. She knew she was treading on thin ice, but she couldn’t let it go.

"What?" He sputtered. "Carolyn. Your student." She repeated, her fixed gaze now burning a hole through him. "What about her, Anna?" He asked, slowly stepping toward her, his face mere inches from hers. "Go on." He sneered, taunting her. She thought she would be sick again. He knows. Oh, God. He knows that I know. Swallowing thickly, she stammered, "She - she came by the office today. Seemed pretty desperate to see you." Weak. Weak. Weak. You can’t do anything right, can you? "And?" He pressed, his eyes as sharp as glass. He wanted her to say it. Say what she knew in her heart to be true. But she couldn’t. Try as hard as she might, the words just wouldn’t leave her mouth. "I - I saw the way, the way you were looking at her tonight." She began, her voice growing stronger with each second. Say it. "You’ve been saying that I’m the one who needs to control myself, but it’s you." She pushed him away from her. Say it, Anna. "I know what you’ve done - what you’ve been doing. And you had the audacity to do it to me while we were out together?" Her voice grew louder and more shrill as she barreled on. "After you made love to me, you - you go and - " Paul’s fist struck her face forcefully as she fell back into the bathroom counter. "Shut up. You hear me? Shut the hell up." He hissed at her. She grew limp in his grasp as he shook her violently. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You’re drunk and you’re absolutely out of control. How dare you try and accuse me of things when all I’ve ever been is faithful to you. I don’t know if the same can be said about you." He spat, gripping her arms tightly. "You’re full of shit, Paul. And you know it." She gasped loudly, wrenching herself from his grip, holding one hand over her injured eye. "Y – you’re a fucking liar." She began to weep silently as Paul loomed over her. "Carolyn. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? Much prettier than me. I - I bet she’s real nice in bed too - does she know how to satisfy you? Tend to your every need? ‘Cause clearly I just don’t cut it anymore."

He slapped her. And then he slapped her again. "Shut your fucking mouth, Anna. I’m warning you right now. I’m not about to lose this job, my tenure over a lying little slut like you." He threatened as someone knocked upon the bathroom door. “Give me a second, please." Paul called out before turning back to Anna who was now cowering, her face in her hands. "We’re leaving. Now." He yanked her up before wrenching the door open and stepping out. Luckily whoever had been waiting outside had given up and went in search of a vacant bathroom. The hallway was empty as he ushered her out before pushing her in the direction of the foyer. "Get your coat and wait for me here. I’ll be right back. And don’t fucking move." He ordered quietly before heading back into the main hall. Anna quickly put her coat on before stepping outside, careful not to let anyone notice her. She spared no second as she allowed her feet to carry her away from the house as she headed in the direction of the station. Glancing at her watch, it was quarter to ten. She had thirty minutes to make it there before the next train would depart. She arrived with ten minutes to spare, quickly purchasing a ticket to Pangbourne.  She didn’t care how angry Paul would be when he discovered she’d left. She’d had enough for one night. She just wanted to see him. Hear his voice. Feel his touch. She craved it, every ounce of her being was dying to be with him. She could practically count the minutes until she was to his front door. So she waited, impatient as ever as the train barreled down the tracks, making its way to him. She closed her eyes and focused on the lull of the train as she began to calm down. Her eye was throbbing immensely, but she was able to block it out as she began to recite one of her favorite poems, line by line, in her head. ‘When I see myself it is still as I was back then, beside the well, staring into the hollowed gourd half filled with water, where the dark braid grazing the left shoulder was recorded though the face was featureless of which they did not say She has the look of one who seeks some greater and destroying passion:’ The ride felt three times as long to reach the station in Pangbourne. Keeping her head down, she walked briskly through the terminals before reaching the front. Stepping out, she glanced at her watch once more, quarter after eleven. She eventually hailed a cab, praying he would still be awake by the time she arrived.

Paying the driver, Anna stepped out of the car and practically sprinted to his front step. She waited until the car pulled away from the curb to turn to the door. Frantically she knocked on the door before beginning to pace silently across the top step. A minute passed with no answer, so she knocked again. Come on, come on, come on."Please be up, please, please be up." She whispered urgently, glancing up at the darkened windows in the upstairs bedroom. Desperate, she felt her breath hitch in her throat as tears stung her eyes. The cold wind was blowing hard as she panicked out on the front step. She couldn’t go home, but she certainly couldn’t stay out here all night. There’s got to be a spare. The thought popped into her head only moments before she began carefully overturning the few potted plants that encircled his front stoop. With no luck, she gave up before lifting the small mat in front of the door. There it was, a small brass key nestled underneath. She scooped it up, glancing over her shoulder. Carefully, she slipped the key into the lock and let herself into the home. It was cold, bitterly cold inside. He’s not here. She slipped the key back under the mat before locking the door once more behind her. She took the stairs two at a time as she unconsciously made her way straight to his bedroom. She kept the lights off as she slipped her coat off, letting it fall to the floor. Throwing open his closet doors, she pulled out a thick, oversized sweater before tossing it onto the bed. She made her way to his dresser drawers, pulling a pair of socks out. Kicking her shoes off, she then slipped her dress over her head before tossing it into the heap with her coat. Picking the sweater up, she slipped it on over her head before pulling the socks on. She scrambled into his bed, pulling the blankets tight around herself as she tried to get warm. Her eye was beginning to swell already, and her face was stinging from Paul’s hand. She replayed the scene over and over in her mind as she squeezed her eyes shut. "You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about..." But I do, Paul. I do.

She felt foolish for saying anything at all. She knew it wasn’t going to end well, but she had no idea it would be this bad. Before she knew it, the words had left her mouth and she couldn’t take them back. She hesitantly raised a hand to her left eye, letting her fingers lightly graze over the slowly bruising socket. She burst into tears as the pain throbbed behind her eyelids. The area was already swelling a great deal. She gasped loudly into the pillow, helplessly crying out. Stupid, stupid girl. When will you ever learn? You will never win. Gripping the blankets tight around her, she continued to break down, letting the sound of her muffled cries lull her to sleep.

- "Shit, would you look at the time? It’s already after one!" Bonzo barked from across the bar. Jimmy looked down at his watch before finishing off the rest of his drink. "Yeah, I should probably head out. We’ve got two meetings in the morning. Can you believe the album launches in a week? It’s already fucking February! Where does the time go?" "I dunno. But as soon as you find out, let me know. I’m looking to get some of it back, you know?" He laughed, downing his last shot of whiskey. Jimmy paid his tab before placing a cigarette between his lips. "You wanna crash at my place or are you good to go home?" He pushed the empty shot glass away from him before standing up. "I’m good. Pat’s probably still waiting up for me anyway." He paid his tab before following Jimmy out of the bar. "See you tomorrow, take care of yourself." Jimmy said, blowing out a stream of smoke. Bonzo’s face was cast in an orange glow as he lit a cigarette. "You too." Jimmy watched Bonzo amble down the street before he hailed a cab. He gave the driver his address before leaning back in the seat, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he had arrived home safe and sound. The wind was whistling loudly through the trees as he stepped out of the car. He pulled his coat tightly against him as he slipped his key into the front door.

He hung his coat up on the rack by the door before heading to the thermostat. He switched the heat on before rubbing his hands together for warmth. He heard the telltale click of the furnace turning on as he slowly climbed the stairs. He noticed his bedroom door was slightly ajar when he made it the top of the stairs. He carefully reached his room, slowly pushing the door open. Anna. He spotted her clothes in a pile by the bed before he noticed her petite frame bundled up in his blankets. He smiled, taking the sight of her in. This was something he’d wanted without even realizing it. He wanted to come home to her. He carefully shut the door behind him before slipping his shoes off. He pulled his shirt up and over his head before fumbling with his belt. Stepping out of his jeans, he slowly slipped into bed beside her. As he sidled up next to her, Anna came to, flinching violently as Jimmy’s hand rested gently on her arm. She began to cry, holding her hands over face, turning away from him. "Hey! Hey, it’s just me. It’s okay - Anna, it’s okay." He coaxed her, moving back to give her some space. Her body continued to wrack with silent sobs as she cowered away from him. "Its okay, it’s just me. I’m not gonna hurt you. You’re safe." He said gently, his eyes flooded in concern. What did he do to her? He knew this was Paul’s doing. He couldn’t see her face as her back was still turned to him, but Jimmy was fearing the worst. After a few minutes, Anna finally turned to face him, slowly removing her hands from her tear-stained face. She opened her eyes, staring into his deep emerald ones, her lip trembling. He drew in a deep breath when he took her in. Her swollen eye was turning black and blue. He thought he was going to be sick. "Paul did this to you?" He asked, trying his best to remain calm. Her eyes welled with tears as she let out the tiniest of nods. "I’m gonna kill him. Really. That sick bastard." He spat, feeling his blood boil in anger. He was close to losing it. Anna’s eyes widened in fear as she reached out and grabbed him. "N - no! Jim, don’t. Please, d – don’t do anything. It will only make things worse." She pleaded to him, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I’m begging you, please don’t." He held her hand in his. "What am I supposed to do? What do you want me to do?" "Just - just be here, with me. Please. I need you. All day, all I wanted was to see you, hear your voice. You have no idea h - how much I needed you." She murmured, sniffling.

"Anna, I - I can’t just let this go. This is really bad." He tried, his hands grasping hers. "I don’t need you to save me, Jim. I don’t need to be fixed." She stiffened, her eyes growing cold. Her walls crumbled as quickly as they were put up. She squeezed her eyes shut as tears began to fall once more. She sobbed silently before continuing. “I just – can’t you just be here for me? Just – just tell me you’re gonna be here when I wake up, okay?” "I will. I’ll be right here. I’m not going any where.” He murmured. “It’s just – how could someone –“ He was cut off by her soft voice. "Jim, it's okay. It was an accident. Accidents happen. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me." As she gazed up into his eyes, he thought he would be sick. She was so willing to leave it all behind her, let it go like it never even happened. He was at a loss of what to do. This was no fucking accident. She turned onto her other side, so her back was to him. He slowly sidled up next to her, carefully draping his arm over her protectively. Anna grabbed his hand immediately, slowly pushing it away from her. "N - Not yet. I can’t. I’m just not there yet. Please don't be mad." Backing away, Jimmy gave her some space before pulling the blankets loosely around the both of them. "Of course I’m not mad." If anything, he felt sorry for her, sorry that due to Paul’s abusive tendencies she struggled with handling the simplest forms of intimacy. He was saddened by how fragile Paul had made her. They both lay there completely silent for awhile as the minutes passed, to the point where he had figured she had eventually fallen back to sleep. However, his mind was too preoccupied to even bother with trying to catch any sleep. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was her. It was becoming all too much. The sound of her soft voice brought him back from the edge of his thoughts. "I’m, I’m in love with you, Jim." She murmured, her voice barely audible. "You don’t have to reciprocate, or even say anything at all, I just - I really needed to say it. Out loud. I’m hopelessly falling for you, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do." Jimmy closed his eyes, sending his thoughts away. He could smell the remnants of her perfume as it lingered around him. He was in love with her too. Burdened by how much he’d grown to care for her. She’d grown to become a part of him, a part that filled in so many of his shortcomings. Quite simply, she held him together.

So why couldn’t he get the words out? There they were, bouncing around his head all day, making appearances whenever he heard her name or saw her face, but never once did they pass his lips, no matter how desperately he wanted to utter them.

Anna remained completely still and silent in the moments that passed as Jimmy lay beside her. Furrowing his brows, he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them once more. I really don’t deserve her, do I?

He opened his mouth to speak before closing it. He’d never been one for putting himself out there, to be susceptible or vulnerable. It simply wasn’t in his nature to open himself up like that. But I’m trying, Goddamnit, I’m trying. He knew she needed him to, before it was too late.

#srry this took for-fucking-ever lmao #i figured i'd do a double for yall #led zeppelin fanfic #led zeppelin fanfiction #jimmy page fanfic #jimmy page fan fiction #tomorrow never knows

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi Goldy, I would like to ask for your thought about the Jikook relationship from the time that JK had always avoided JM until now when they are an inseparable duo. I know A lot of people has given their opinion about this topic but I really want to know your analysis about this. Don't you think are there any special things that happened between them or this is just natural growth up and personality change. Thank you so much and have a nice day.

Jk was avoiding Jimin? Mmmkay

Was it may be because he was having a gay awakening??💀

Was it may be because Jimin's whole existence called his own beliefs about sex and attraction into question?

Was it mabe because his pickle was constantly tingling around Jimin and he didn't want to go through all that under the spotlight?🤷🏾‍♀️

I don't know if you are new here but i really don't subscribe to that whole Jikook real enemies to lovers romance trope🤧

If Jungkook was avoiding Jimin it was because Jimin was upsetting and challenging his innate heteronormative setting and calling to question his sex his gender and his reality.

You think you have your sexuality figured out until someone comes along and alt deletes your configuration.

Nor do i subscribe to that Jimin fell first Jungkook fell harder theory its tacky.

The actual face of a man falling in love💀

Yet yall will have us believe the shameless, loud chasing Kook around was his falling in love phase. Hajima.

He is hiccuping, sweating his palms off, having palpitations, panicking under Kook's gaze and pulling away from him when it's intense...

When Jimin pulls away because he's shy it's love. He's in love. When Jungkook does it he's avoiding Jimin and hates him. Y'all make it make sense to me with this wicked double standards. FREEEEE JUNGKOOKKKKK😭

At least now Jimin is an adult who has acquired the necessary tools, skills and experience to navigate these moments when such vulnerability is forced on to him.

Jungkook was just a teen. He did the best he could and frankly i think he handled himself well. If it were me I'd have been kicked out of hybe for several indecent acts not limited to public masturbation, groping and perhaps sexual harassment of my bandmate.

Truth is Jimin forced vulnerability on to kook accidentally or perhaps not. Over expressing himself towards him and placing him under his intense gaze was perhaps a defense mechanism but that didn't help either as anyone would run away from that.

I don't know what you've heard about men with heteronormative masculine energy but it's typical of them to bolt the instance they feel the least bit vulnerable or feel that vulnerability is being forced on to them. It triggers a fight or flight response in them. They are not emotionally rich at all which is sad. Isn't that why girls complain most dudes are noncommittal?? But they do tend to commit to gals who make them feel safe to be vulnerable with them.

Thankfully i don't have to deal with that nonsense cos my partner is a girl and loves being placed in a vulnerable position as she likes to place me there too. That's the beauty of feminine energy guys. Girls rock😌💜

But please Jungkook has always been in love with Jimin. We are all delulu but yall's delulu ruins jikook for me😔

And Jimin has showed us what he looks like in love and how he looks like when he's feeling vulnerable with a person and it's not what those theories been said

With Jungkook, remember when fans used to Oppa him and he'd go 😐 on them??

Calling a guy Oppa places you in a place of submissiveness in relation to them and that in itself is a declaration of vulnerability especially on the female's part. But he rejected it. Even if he wanted submission and vulnerability he certainly didn't want it from those wuhmen.

Giving to a person forces the person to be in a vulnerable position where the mere acceptance of your gifts makes them vulnerable because by receiving they declare that they need you.

I keep saying Jungkook has always been emotionally attached to Jimin but was just afraid to let JM and others know he needs that man.

"When you take care of me and buy me food that's when i feel you are my hyung"

"Yes we do everything together and we have a lot in common but you didn't wake me up this morning like you always do."

It's a fandom joke but bullying hyungs out of their seat so he can sit next to Jimin, cheating his way in run episodes so he and Jimin can end up on the same team or in the same room, those are all moments he's exposed his weakness and vulnerable. Fact is he needs Jimin too. Love is such a vulnerable experience at the end of the day.

On that note I need to be alone cos i just made myself soft for jikook and reignited my passion and love for their love

GOLDY

[robinruns]

Ok, Hella Mega Minneapolis weekend recap, let's go (also this post is long sorry not sorry)

I already told yall about Sunday: drove, met up with Maria 🖤 wandered around, found one (1) restaurant, but it was good so it was fine.

Monday: got up and went to the zoo... a zoo? There were animals, here are some that spoke to my soul

Then we got snack and lunch and waited until it was time to walk to the stadium. The line was already pretty long when we got there but it was prime people watching. Also once we got up close they just started ushering peoplw through the "VIP" gate just to keep us moving. Things were NOT moving at the merch table though. Like this whole ass family had so long in line to figure out what they want to do and got to the front and were still talking to their small children about what they wanted.

We grabbed gatorade (because it was still around 87°) and headed to our spot. Luckily we were on the aisle so we had extra space. The girl in front of us was double fisting beers all night, was a MASSIVE fan of Weezer and was generally super cool. She also dumped a drink down a guy's shirt because he and his Jake/Logan Paul lookalike friend were being obnoxious AF and the security guard was just flirting with them instead of dealing with them.

But The Interrupters were great, Weezer was awesome even though there were a couple songs I didn't know.

Then came the main event (for us at least), Fall Out Boy! This was my 3rd FOB show, and actually the 2nd time they were second billed (the last time was when they were on tour with Blink 182 and Panic in 2009). I loved that their set was more elaborate than either of the other bands' and they changed it midway through, and there was a whole narrative to it.

(I'm running out of room for photos)

What I really really loved was seeing how totally fuckin stoked Patrick seemed to be about being up there and performing. Like Pete is always up there talking, and I feel like Patrick can be more subdued, but he just had a real energy to him.

Hi can you tell I love Patrick Stump?

Anyway. I had to go get water mid set because I felt like I was thisclose to passing out. Like at this point we'd been on our feet 4+ hours (not counting time at the zoo) and temps were not cooling down, if anything it was hotter due to the people.

Before Green Day came out, they played Bohemian Rhapsody and I've never heard a crowd all singing like that before, it was great!

So Green Day comes out swinging, it's AMAZING, there's fireworks, it's like it's 2004 and everything nothing hurts. I know they've been pulling a person on stage to play a little with them and the kid they pulled on stage was so freaking stoked, like I'm getting chills right now thinking about how amazing it was. But then the moment I'd been sorta... dreading came.

They played Wake Me Up When September Ends and I lost it. Bless @maria-the-ghoul for putting up with my embarrassing self. Also shout out to beard dude from the other side of the aisle who gave me a hug and then apologized for being sweaty, as if we all weren't drenched in sweat (literally my shirt was totally soaked).

I think that's part of why it took me so long to process the whole night. That moment found that raw spot in my heart and just sorta... I dunno, poked at it. Driving back today I cried again because I just thought about the song. Granted I am very tired (very little sleep, very much activity) and so that probably isn't helping things, but at that point I'd luckily changed my spotify from just playing all of my liked songs to just My Chemical Romance. It really helped. Like I can't convey right now how thankful I am to have their music because it just soothes me so much.

But another thing I felt on my drive home was some goddamn closure on the shit show that was fall 2019. I had songs play that I discovered during that time and that same feeling I'd been carrying for two years was gone. I finally feel at peace with that time period. Hell, maybe it's because I'm more focused on this year's shit show, but either way, I feel better.

And I'm ready to do it again next week

#hella mega tour #hella mega Minneapolis #fall out boy #green day #weezer #the interrupters #personal

[elyrianinspo]

wayward sisters rp?

Who else would think a Wayward Sisters discord rp would be fun? I'd love to play an oc I think about a lot, but we definitely need our main girls (and guys too of course, but maybe they just show up here and there so we can focus on girl power?) so you'd be more than okay with doubling up if you also wanted an oc. I only ask for no one-liners. I'm not great with using bots so someone would have to help me out with that, but I'd love this idea that these strong women work together to rid the world of bad guys. I was thinking it could take place while Dean and Castiel are still alive so that they can make appearances, (Sam, Eileen, etc. ) but we'd all have to collectively figure out what timeline we want. I'd like to keep it sort of canon so that it makes sense with the supernatural storyline as if we're seeing their pov during events. We'd probably keep the smut to a minimum, but I still don't feel comfortable with anyone under 18 joining as I'm 32 and swear like a sailor haha.

I'm moving on the 18th so I'd really like to get people interested first before i find time to actually be on more, but I definitely want people to feel like they don't have to reply every single day. I want chill vibes only bc I know how mental illness or being busy feels rn. this is just a hobby, not a jobby. I want yall to feel comfy getting on and knowing you can talk ooc and not feel like you have to do a reply just to be there.

#discord rp #wayward sisters rp #spn rp #group rp #oc rp #my idea for my oc is she's mute after tangling with a werewolf and being left for dead after being choked but it happened 4 years before #she's been a hunter ever since and looking for the guy #she uses sticky notes and a little asl to communicate oh and texting haha #original #plot bunny #plot bunnies #wanted plot #plot #future plot #plots #new plot

[chesedelhim]

Other things abt seattle now that I am leaving:

- I DID see the ocean :) I didnt go to a beach but walked a bit (came out of the wrong zoo exit) and saw it :) I am filled with joy

- I saw so many animals at the zoo holy shit. I almost cried when I saw the wolves (lifelong fav animal) and i got so many pics. I bought a wolf plushie for me and a cookbook for my wife and a hoodie to share

- once u get outta downtown it looks like. Eerily similar to my hometown, I really like it. Everything is uphill both ways.

- yall werent wrong fuckin Everything is under construction here

- was anyone gonna tell me abt the like bridge thingys that go over the road that have. Short smooth looking trains on them bc that was cool as FUCK. I've never seen one of those

- 5th ave theater looks REALLY neat! I kinda liked the vibe of 5th ave in general, idk what's going on but theres some neat buildings

- I still do not understand why the buildings need to be so tall

- I've decided nobody in this city aside from the bus drivers (thank you bus drivers) knows how to drive but that's ok bc nobody at home knows how to drive either

- the stadium thing is the most intimidating building I've seen in my life!

- after watching some of the caterpillar busses navigate some of yalls narrower streets I have a great deal of respect for them and their drivers. I would love to take one someday.

- so I was up here for to get my tumor business sorted out and the sheer amount of confidence my doc had when explaining the procedure and exactly what would b done makes me SO fuckin confident in gettin this shit sorted. He doesnt even have to take some of my real bones out! He was able to figure out exactly where it was coming from just from lookin at my cat scan for 30 seconds and explained my exact risks and ways that those risks like, happened and I was just like. Wow. Bc u do NOT get this quality of care back home

- the sort of vaguely Corinthian and. Abstract/implication of waves on some of the street posts has me goin HAM it's such a neat design. I really love a lot of the architecture, I'd love to like. Properly take a gander at it one of these days, I saw a lot of stuff that I didnt get pics of but was like absolutely in love with.

- I saw like a double tiered bridge thingy with no like. Support cage on top which I've never seen before, most of the bridges I know have that sort of thing and it was neat! Also scary! How the fuck do yall feel like yaint gonna fall off

- tunnels tunnels tunnels tunnels the lighting in these makes me feel like I'm in silent hill

- I've played navigator this whole trip so guess who can read maps now (I could kinda do it before but I can REALLY do it now)

- I'm still rivals w the cascades on principle but I gotta admit it really does look like home. If I have to live anywhere else (gd forbid) I'd do it somewhere up here.

- I love looking at all the graffiti. Most of the stuff you see in my town is gang related, but people get ARTSY up here! Middle school me is losing aer shit.

- the sheer amount of art around the city has me beyond inspired rn. I've had just the Most artblock lately but between the outline of the mountains (VERY distinct from my own) to the nature immediately outside the city to the. Importance placed on the environment (seeing such a huge city being like NO BE NICE TO THE ENVIRONMENT OR 🔪 is VERY good ) to the actual like. works of art all over the place has me just swimming with ideas and concepts.

- I didnt see a ton of like, the sights or the local scenes but I'm coming back up in a bit to do the actual surgery and I'm totally beggin to stay for extra time to see as much as I can. This made me wish I could drive so I could do trips up here more often.

- I still dont really like the. I cant phrase this right other than theres too much of it, it's just a lot to process and a like. Huuuuge difference compared to my very rural way of living normally but it's also like....kinda way more anonymous and theres so much to DO and that's SO so interesting. I'd love to take like a camper van up here and just explore for weeks on end. I feel like with repeat trips I could genuinely get used to it, and I saw and heard abt a lot of stuff I'd love to check out.

- I wanna say BIG THANK YOU to the people who told me things about the city! I've got a bucket list now!! The info was helpful and had me goin 👀👀 at a whole bunch of stuff that I Definitely wanna do at some point

- I'm absolutely gonna have more to add to this post later once I process everything and dont have a headache lmao

#fire.txt #for clarification #i cant drive due to i have shit eyes that dont work enough to let me. i would absolutely hop on that if i could. #this like. really is something else #im like. intimidated but awestruck and inspired and just #theres so MUCH #i can soundly say that like. i definitely enjoyed this and i definitely wanna explore more of the city #like theres stuff i dont like of course which like. happens everywhere so its not like the city's fault. and i can say that ive been #very very captivated by a lot of aspects of it now that ive like kinda gotten a handle on it a bit #i cant wait to come up next time tbh

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Spoilers!!!! Charmed 02x04

Okay yall. I love this episode, but this one is actually my least favorite so far. I have a couple of, not concerns, but more than nitpicks, about some things this episode. Overall I'd still give it a 7/10. It was paced well and the added lore was top notch so far and cant wait for more. Anyways, again I will start with things I liked, then move on to the things I didnt, and end with some highlights.

Likes:

1. Mel! Overall Mel is a champ and even though she had big romance storylines, and they developed her character in small ways throughout the first season, I still felt we need more Mel. This episode not only did a good job if staying true to the mel that was built in season 1 but adding onto her. Mel seems to detest the idea of uselessness or at least of being powerless. Which makes sense not only as a minority and a woman but as a lesbian. She grew up not having to hide and with a mother who basically told them they were powerful strong and could do anything. Which is wonderful, but breeds that room for those types of insecurities.

2. Hacy

So actually not that much big hacy moments in comparison to previous episoded, but I love how they are the two interrogating abby and the moment they shared with the safe word.

That said I also didn't like the need for one when Macy said she would just know. Although I argue that the fact she even asked for the safe word was because she knew. Because she tells her sisters to go, trusting him, before she looks onto his eyes. Then when he leans in to touch her and orb them out, either she is put off by the over enthused smirk (he was too happy for the situation) or she wanted to get a look into his eyes. Because if you look at her facial expressions as she is looking into her eyes she seems to doubt that he is Harry and then asks for the safe word before he orbs them out.

I also think they missed a hacy opportunity when he warns Macy to be careful

Harry: she's half demon

Macy: so am I

Harry: but you are you

I'll explain further in the disliked section

4. Maggie and Jordan. Okay so I really like these two together. Hold up though. I like it as a slow developing relationship. Jordan is in a different life stage than Maggie imo. If he were single and went after her immediately or they started a romance I wouldnt like that. Him having someone and Maggie growing up and them building a solid friendship first is what I am here for. I'll talk about her powers later. What I was curious about was the ring on Jordand finger since the camera focus for a bit on his hand when he mentioned his family. I hope he doesnt come from a line of witch hunters or turns out to be some sort of creature later on. I mean on one hand that would be cool and a twist, especially if he remains the same (like doesnt change into a villian just turns out has some history) because I feel like it would be a way of doing the Galvin family history right. I mean I think that is what I enjoyed about Galvins storyline, him being able to help out because of his family history. But they didnt do much with it given the limited screen time. So if they could do something similar with Jordan and give it appropiate attention I would love it. But if they tried to use it for drama I wouldnt because it would be too much like parkerita. Let maggie grow up and have a healthy mature relationship without deception and scary families involved!

5. Dark!Harry as a Darklighter and a Hunter

So I mean we still don't know exactly what darklighters are. I mean we know that they are part of the whitelighter (one person split in half) but we dont know if the elders trained them for a specific purpose. I mean Darry got fighting skills and some resourcefulness. For to come from no where, but the fact he is after powerful beings (so far we dont know exactly why) and he has a connection with Harry is really interesting and has so many possibilities moving forward and I especially love the further similarities is draws to Macy.

Harry (unlike macy) has been split in two he has lived with this unknown part of him that differs from everything he was taught and believed about himself. Like macy this side of him appears to be "evil", although I have a feeling is probably more complicated than that since it obviously is for Macy. So harry has this "dark side". Which will be interesting if they ever have to or can merge the two.

Right now it appears that Darry has nothing to do with the Demon wars (unless you believe he and abby are working together).

Now onto dislikes:

1. Abby. Hold up y'all! I actually love this villainess. I just have some concerns about her background. And also have some thoughts about her possible future role.

So I love that she wants to bring down the patriarchy of the demon world. Her being Caine seems unnecessary, and brings up some questions.

Why didn't Parker ever mention her? He mentioned Hunter. She knew about him. So it would seem a fair assumption that Parker knew about her.

I don't mind adding lore to the previous seasons as long as they make sense. So far what they have added doesn't negate what was established last season (season 1 contradicted itself a couple of times), but with Abby as a Caine they will have to make double sure they don't add anything that would contradict season 1.

Abby as bisexual. Like I love when shows give some bisexual representation! But I am always weary when bisexuals are the villians and they are the only bisexual characters in the show. I am not bisexual, so I can't really say whether the show is doing this well or not well. It is just something I try to be considerate of and so when it happens I am always a bit nervous about it.

2. The Vera-Vaugh sisterhood (mostly on Macy's part). Okay so I am treading lightly on this topic and also would like to point out that I am coming at this from my Latina perspective. But I feel that Macy sees her place and he relationship with her sisters from the "Good Mexican" perspective. Meaning she does crave that connection to her sisters but also views herself as the other. More so she view her sisters as thinking over her as "the good half demon" and for Macy that isnt enough. It still feels like a rejection of part of her. Which in some cases is, but I think for her sisters it isnt that way at all. They dont view her as "a good half-demon" they see her as Macy and as thier sister. But I feel that since Macy, given how she grew up and the insecurities we know she has from season 1, isnt getting the memo. She now knows that her sisters actually love her and will stick with her, but she no longer is craving acceptance, she wants understanding and commonality. Which for her, her sisters cannot give her not just because they are different but because they view the situation differently.

Abby is playing to that so well. I was upset that Macy would reveal the way she got her demon side. It seems not only like a bad move as far as trusting someone you claim not to trust but also just common sense given that I would thing you wouldnt want other demons knowing how to create more demons from humans. Anyways, abby's line of having more in common with each other was pretty brilliant given the little amount of time she has spent with any of them.

I think it is possible, from the patriarchy conversation, that Abby eventually would try to recruit Macy to join her in trying to take over the demon world. That said I am not sure so far if Abby would actually like to share power with anyone. We still dont know much about her character. So her development moving forward will be interesting.

Moving back to the sisters. I think if moving forward the show would do little things to address the issue it would help not only to further build the relationship between the sisters but the power of 4. Things like the line I added between Macy and Harry would show Macy that they are seeming the situation differently. It wont allieviate What Macy is feeling or the fact she still has to figure out what exactly it means to be a half demon or if it does have meaning out side the societal implications.

3. Whitelighter lore. Don't come for me! I love the added lore. I just have some nitpicks.

Alpha. So if the first whitelighter was from Salem then how is there and Egyptian hieroglyph for a whitelighter? Unless the elders just to a hieroglyph and decided to make that one the one for whitelighter? ("Hey what's that" other elder: "I combined two hieroglyph want to use that for our new whitelighters?" First elder: hell yah!)

Okay so if these two are one person made into two and are connected. Then how connected are they? I mean I assume we will get more detail as the show progresses so I am not made about it, but the alpha is always kept near the split part. So in the beginning was it that they couldnt be too far apart or else something bad would happen? Or is it that what happens to one happens to the other. Dark!Harry tried to kill Harry so we could assume that that isnt the case because it would be a death sentence for both (unless dark!harry didnt know and just lucked out be the fact that Harry and him are now immortal because Harry's tie to the elders was severed). Lots of questions regarding what exactly dark!harry knows or doesnt know.

4. Maggie's powers. Dont get me wrong, I love the foresight and its relation to premonitions and Marisol, but it is gonna need some careful explaining. They established that witches are traced through these powers and that the sisters were stripped of them. So then what is this foresight? It cant be a part of her old powers because those were stripped. But if this is a new power can it be used to track the sisters? Or is it something else? A power but unrelated to the powers and triggered by an outside agent (not necessarily a person). Will Mel start to develop new powers as well or again is there something going on with Maggie?

Highlights:

Mel chugging like a champ!

Maggie's constant touching of Jordan when trying to trigger her new powers. Not awkward at all Mags...

The satisfied look on Darry's face when he is about to orb Macy and him out (I still cant believe the girls werent suspicious of how Harry found orbed to them when none of them called for him)

(I was gonna give credit to the gif maker and had written down who it was but lost the paper and cant remember which of the people I saved this from. So if this is your gif let me know! So I can edit and give yah the credit you deserve! Sorry about that! If I find the paper before yah recognize the gif I will edit)

Abby's recount of being attacked by Darry. I was enjoying the steaminess.

Anyways that's all on my part! Comment, send asks or message me, if y'all want to discuss something I mentioned or didnt mention about this episode or the series in general! Not looking forward the the inevitable break that will occur but cant wait for episodes 5 and 6!

#hacy #macy x harry #harry x macy #harry greenwood #macy vaughn #abigael caine #mel vera #jordan x maggie #maggie x jordan #maggie vera #dark!harry #dark!hacy #cw charmed #charmed remake #charmed reboot #charmed cw #charmed #charmed 2018 #charmed spoilers #charmed 2018 spoilers

[thecathasleftthebuilding]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned it directly, but I do know a few people have been disappointed with the lack of Julia scenes this season... I just figured I'd remind folks (or inform those who might not know) that Stella is pregnant and has been since filming started for this season. I'm not saying we wont get any good Julia content because I'm sure we will, but theres also a good chance that there will be a lot of cropped shots and body doubles this season for her, which might impact how often we see her on screen (especially later in the season, she's got a big ol' adorable baby bump right now lol). Either they're gonna work a pregnancy into her story line, which is unlikely considering Julia probably never wants that after the last pregnancy, or they're gonna have to get creative so we dont "notice" a glaring pregnancy belly lol. Idk about yall, but I cant wait to see how they handle it!

#julia wicker #the magicians #season 5

[liquid-geodes]

2 9 11 21 22 27 37 56 58 75 85

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Of course! But it depends on the relationship. Obviously toxic relationships are never worth it, and relationships where only one person is putting in the effort also isnt worth it. Relationships are about mutual love and respect for your partner after all

9. Describe your perfect mate

Tbh I dont put a lot of thought into what a perfect boyfriend would be like. I think as long as we get along, there's mutual feelings, and it's a healthy and respectful relationship, they could be anyone. We dont have to have everything in common to be happy together.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

I mean it'd be nice but I'm probably going to die alone-

But yeah I'd want to get married.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Dont make me laugh

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Not really no.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

No, why would anyone do that for me?

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Literally ever guy I've ever liked my friends hated and then they screwed me over so I guess it was like my friends knew something I didnt. But my friends liking the person I like would mean a lot to me, but if they didnt I wouldnt just magically stop liking that person. I'd still try and keep a healthy balance between the two. Your friends dont have to like the person you have feelings for, you just have to like each other.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Interesting interesting:

- got pretty bad arthritis from being double jointed

- if there's one thing I'm oddly and openly proud of it's my figure, I mean I have NICE thighs yall. I'm thicc

- pretty covered in scars tbh, most of them are pretty funny stories involving my cats and a cardboard box

- besides having thicc thighs the rest of my is pretty bony cause I'm bordering being underweight. It's pretty cool what I can do with a pencil and my ribcage ngl

- I'm pretty liddol. Like 5'1 and got tiny possum hands, perfect size for holding though.

- I say I'm pretty ugly, but everyone is obsessed with my eyebrows. Apparently their natural shape is what a lot of women want and I just?? They're just my eyebrows ???

- normal human body, definitely not a bunch of rats in a trenchcoat

- may contain full human skeleton

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Hmmm let me think:

- being into video games so we could be nerds together would probably do it

- being pretty understanding and patient with me would be another tbh, tells you a lot about how I've been treated in the past huh?

- just little things I guess like sharing what we did that made us happy that day

- being my friend first helps the process IMMENSELY. I'd already be pretty comfortable around you by that point and we should know a few things about the other already to help ease into learning the new things. I'm very awkward and dont understand emotions sometimes I'm sorry-

- idk a lot of these just sound like stupid simple things that seem like basic human relations but I am not used to receiving those from guys so-

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

:^)

I still really cant think of anything.. I'm usually the one making things or buying things or doing little things for other people-

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Of course! I'll admit it'd be a little lonely at first because I'm a clingy son of a bitch BUT if we knew each other pretty well and like each other, I dont see why it being long distance would be a problem. I'd be willing to put in the effort to make it work.

These question all sound suspiciously like someone out there wants to date me-

#link's asks