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bolognamayhem117 · 2 days

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Hot Take: Astarion does NOT hate flowers. You just missed a few subtle hints through Act 1 and early Act 3.

Astarion's negativity is directed toward just about anything remotely pleasant as you move through early act three, starting the moment you leave Wyrm's Rock. First thing after Gortash's coronation he marvels near tears at the colors of the city in daylight. If you ask if he's alright, it pisses him off.

There's other instances I can't quite remember but he's a straight crank throughout early Act 3 and it took me several hours of gameplay to have a lightbulb moment about his newly crappier attitude.

He just spent the last two hundred years seeing everything in the overwhelmingly warm dim tones of indoor lighting via sconces, rushlights, and braziers, or the dingy blue gray of moonlight outside. Daylight colors are something he had more than a lifetime to forget and now that he has a chance to remember that vibrancy in his own home town, he knows he's going to have to forget it all over again either by death or by remaining a vampire spawn forever. The worm isn't going to live rent free in his head forever, and killing Cazador to ascend in his place likely feels like an insurmountable and impossible fight against a literal titan who could stomp him flat without a corm of effort.

He doesn't hate flowers, he hates EVERYTHING right now because it's all going away very soon and if he convinces himself he hates everything then he won't miss it when it's all gone again. He was denied this for two hundred years and he's PISSED at what was stolen from him and PISSED it's all going away again.

He behaved similarly in Act 1 about anyone besides him enjoying physical intimacy. Some of this content was cut, to my best knowledge, but the overwhelming majority of his dialog addressing the PC romancing anyone but him are negative or backhanded. This is for two reasons, I think. A: his Simple Plan just dissolved right before his eyes when you chose someone else which in his mind means he has zero safety net, and EVERYONE gets to enjoy sex (key wording being ENJOY, not simply having) except him... And it pisses him off.

He also gleefully interrupts the bug bear and the ogress, I think for the same reason as the above paragraph, being: If he doesn't get to enjoy intimacy neither do they.

He reacts with anger and disgust at anything he's being unfairly denied. Which... That's fair. His feelings are valid, but his reaction to it is pretty shitty and meanspirited.

The other companions I tend to keep in my party, (that is Lae'zel, Halsin, Karlach, and Wyll) however, are actually appearing to behave pretty patiently with him in Act 3 which I find interesting.

In the instance with the flowers Karlach doesn't bother trying to convince him otherwise of his opinion, she just tells him how they make her feel instead and rather than getting snippy or doubling down he more or less agrees to disagree. I also don't recall anyone disagreeing with Astarion during Gale's last quest tasks when he mentioned that he quit praying to gods who wouldn't hear him a long time ago but to be fair, I think the gods did everybody in this crew dirty and they all know it. It seems like they're consciously giving him the space to be mad about things, is what I'm saying.

Everyone I know including myself who crawled out of a long-term hot garbage situation kinda went wild for a bit with freedom, spoke poorly, behaved strangely, had extreme emotional reactions to things, and made some particularly terrible choices. I think that's just a part of recalibrating yourself, healing and learning how to be okay again.

Point is, I wouldn't conflate too many of the turbo-negative things he says with how he actually feels about anything. We certainly know what he says and what he feels are two very different things.

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #trauma #the pale elf #cazador szarr

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darkwolf989 · 3 days

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Outside The Office Part Thirty

“Hey, princess. You have to wake up now.”

The sound of Vox’s voice and the feeling of his hand startled me awake. I sat up quickly, the blanket falling from where my head had been tucked in. Gone was the warm, protective darkness of Valentino’s wings. Instead, the blankets were wrapped tightly- mimicking his hold on me. My head ached, and I wondered how he had managed to get me into bed without waking me up.

“Where’s Val?” I asked as I looked around the room.

“Valentino went to go handle something, and he left me in charge of making sure you, my dear, eat dinner and don’t sleep for too long. We’re going out tonight! Drugs should be well out of your system by now, so up you go!” He said in a sing-song voice. “Com’on now!”

I groaned and flopped back down under the covers. “My head hurts.”

“Shocking,” he said sarcastically. “Here, drink this,” he untwisted the cap and handed me a bottle of sweet sixteen. “All of it, in your tummy. Then I’m checking your vitals, and then you can get up.”

I scowled at him. “I would say you act like my Dad, but that would be an insult to you.”

“Aw, love you too princess. Now drink up.” He replied as he pressed the back of his hand to my head. “All of it.”

I took a sip. And then another. Instantly, the headache began to fade.

“You will actually make a great Dad one day, you know.” I said between sips.

He rolled his eyes. “No. Vel and I don’t want kids, but I’ll make a hell of an Uncle whenever you and Val decide the time is right.”

I paused and lowered the bottle. Kids? I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Can that even happen? Can I get pregnant?” I asked.

Vox shrugged and pulled his hand away. “Do you still get your period in hell?”

I felt myself flush. “I mean, yeah. On time, every month. Just like in heaven.”

“Then there you have it- yes. You and Valentino can have kids. It’s just a matter of trying, I would think.” He paused. “Not that I’m rushing or encouraging it, but you brought it up.”

I felt a shiver run down me. Valentino had to have had sex with thousands of demons in his line of work. Was Vox implying something?

“Wait, does Valentino already have…”

Vox let out a laugh and cut me off. “Fuck no. God, that would be awful. No, princess, he would have to want them in order to have them. That’s why you two can fuck all you want and not have a single worry. Part of the perk of being the Overlord of Lust. Until he decides, really decides he wants to procreate, he won’t physically be able to.”

I took another sip of my drink as I considered his words. “I would need a big diamond on my finger before kids are even a thought. And a wedding. Do people, demons, get married in hell?”

“Sure do,” Vox said. He sat down next to me and took my wrist in his hand. “Demon weddings are a good time, might I add.”

I squirmed ever so slightly as he took my pulse, but tried to exhale and stay calm. “Don’t you have my vitals synched from my watch to your phone?”

“Sure do. I like to check the accuracy though. Make sure the data is correct,” he replied as he clipped a pulse oximeter to my finger. “Why are you so fidgety?”

“I don’t particularly like medical stuff being done to me,” I replied honestly. “I mean, it's one thing to play around with it, or like, when Valentino and I are in bed, but it's another thing when it's serious.”

“And why is that? Did something happen when you were with the angels? Cause I don’t have any record of any major surgeries or traumatic events or things like that?” Vox asked as he leaned back, waiting for my answer.

I shrugged. “I got held down alot when I was little. I didn’t like shots, and it didn’t take much for me to be pushed down and forced to stay still. I mean, it was for my own benefit of course, but…”

“There are better ways,” Vox finished for me. He shook his head, looking absolutely disgusted. “Fuckin angels.”

I let his comment go. “It’s weird though, because, I mean, when my head is on Valentino’s body, I feel the opposite. Safe. Secure. And I don’t mind him taking my pulse when he’s not looking to…do something medical with the information, if that makes sense?”

“It does- and I appreciate you sharing that with me. I’ll bear it in mind.” He squeezed my shoulder gently with his other hand. “Our goal is to keep you safe, so you’ll never fully escape getting checked over, but at least we’ll make sure you consent. Can you agree to that?”

I nodded.

“And on your other note, I think listening to the heartbeat of someone you love is much, much different than being held down and medicine painfully forced into your body.” He released my wrist and reached into his bag. “But speaking of heartbeats, I do need to listen to yours. You good with that?” Vox asked as he pulled a stethoscope out of his backpack.

I nodded and sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “Thanks for asking. I am. I trust you. You didn’t tattle on me.”

“No, you tattled on yourself. And I’m glad you did. Stop talking for a second, let me listen.” Vox said as he pressed the disk to my chest. “Good, now deep breath in. And out.

I stayed still and tried to relax. His touch was light. Gentle. Finally, he pulled back and draped the scope around his neck.

“Heart sounds good. Lungs do too. Let me check your blood pressure and you’ll be all good. You need to keep drinking.” His voice softened ever so slightly. “Which arm did Val put the IV in? I’ll use the other arm.”

I offered him the opposite arm and he wrapped the cuff around. I felt the nerves begin to settle.

“So, why do you know how to take vitals? I mean, I sort of get Valentino but, why you?” I asked.

He paused and looked at me. “Data accuracy. If something I create reads a number, I want to make sure it's right. And I don’t trust anyone other than myself, so I learned basic skills. Vitals I mean. I technically could take blood or put an IV in but if given the choice between a nurse or me, pick the nurse. For your own benefit. Now shush for like one minute.”

I waited patiently until he deflated the cuff. He seemed satisfied and tucked everything back into his bag. I took the last drink from the bottle of sweet sixteen and set the empty bottle on the nightstand. Silence from Vox as he typed furiously on his phone.

“Am I okay?” I asked after a few moments of quiet.

He looked unconcerned. “Mhm, yep. You’re fine. Vel’s going to be late, which means it's you and me, kid.” He stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder. “Look, why don’t you go shower and get yourself comfortable for the night? I’ll get to work on dinner. Vel will join us eventually, but I think eating here before we go out will be a nice change of pace. And fits with what you’re trying to do a bit better. Agreed?”

He saw me hesitate.

“Oh no. You don’t get to tell me you’re not a fan of my cooking after all this. Come on, you can help.” He took me by the hand and pulled me to my feet. “Go shower, get yourself comfortable and meet me in the kitchen in twenty minutes. I’ll get the prepwork all done.”

I watched as he strolled out of the room and closed the door behind him. Vox really did mean what he said- eating at home, supporting my choices. I took a quick shower and wrapped myself in my comfiest pajamas before walking into the kitchen to join him.

“You’re brave, cooking with Vox isn’t my idea of a good time.” Velvette said as I walked into the living room. “And come see me once he gets everything in the oven. I’ll do your hair while we wait.”

“Hey! Come on over kid!” Vox said cheerfully as I stepped into the kitchen.

I popped myself up into the usual place on the counter. “Whatcha making?”

“Something yummy. Here, try this.” He stirred something in a pot and offered me the spoon.

Again I hesitated but let him put the spoon in my mouth. Warmness, an spicy and sweet. It was delicious.

“Damn, Vox- what is that?” I asked.

He beamed. “You like? It’s the sauce for the pasta. We’re having one of my personal favorites for dinner tonight, along with chicken and spinach meatballs and a big tossed salad. A few carbs, good protein, all the things your body is going to need to get back on track.” He stuck the spoon back in the pot and stirred.

“What can I do to help?” I asked as he moved fluidly around the kitchen.

“You can sit there and talk to me. Information, kid. I want to know more about what they fed you, I want to know about how your day to day routine went. And I really want to know if you’ve ever heard the name Alastor.” His voice caught on the name. “And any information you have on him.”

I tried to think back. Vox had mentioned his name before and at the time, it hadn’t meant much to me. I was more wrapped up in the moment to pay much attention to the cause of his rage baking. But now that he mentioned it, the name was familiar.

“Alastor. I know the name, I just don’t remember why.” I said finally.

“So walk me through your day, maybe it will trigger something,” he answered eagerly. “Start with waking up. What did you day look like?”

My day? Depended on the age.

As soon as I was old enough to talk, my day started at four. Memories of my father in the kitchen, making sure I ate what he cooked. Days spent either in his office, or in the arms of one of his many “brothers”- my Uncles. If I wasn’t being taught a skill or concept, I was by their side. I was on base constantly, a shadow to the soldiers. I learned how to eat, speak, breath, control, be controlled, clean, and act like one by process of diffusion. I knew nothing else.

It wasn’t until I was old enough to dress myself that things began to change. Dad became stricter, and my focus shifted from tagging along to participating. Memories of one of my most favorite “Uncles” running alongside me, slowing his pace to mine. My father yelling at me to speed up. Training drills with my wings out, falling to the ground after a hard hit. Whining wasn’t tolerated. I learned how to take the beating and get back up as if nothing happened.

That wasn’t to say I wasn’t taken care of in a sense. Nor was it all bad. My father wasn’t always completely harsh. But when we were on base, which was most of the time, his job was to train and lead. And that was his focus. Making strong soldiers.

Vox was quiet as I talked him through the details.

“Did he ever offer you comfort? Was he ever kind?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

I shrugged. “I mean, sure. When I was little I would climb into his bed and cry out nightmares. Or he would put bandaids on boo boos. But it wasn’t exactly his strong point- some of the others had daughters and he was more than happy to let them handle the softer points.”

Vox shook his head in disgust as he put a pan into the oven. “Kids deserve love. No wonder you have such a…”

“Fucked up idea of things? And Dad loved me, Vox. It was just a different kind of love.”

“I don’t know if I would call that love, kid,” he answered.

“Vox has a point, mi amore.” Valentino’s voice entered the room.

I turned my head and looked as Valentino walked into the kitchen. He kissed the top of my head. “Sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up love.”

I shrugged. “No big deal.”

“Can we get back to the whole kid who grew up without love thing, because that’s fucked up,” Velvette said as she joined us. She pulled herself up next to me.

I frowned. This conversation was quickly becoming incredibly uncomfortable. “It was love,” I protested. “Just a different kind of love.”

“Mmm, no, it wasn’t. But you’ll learn the difference, one way or another, eventually,” Valentino replied.

He seemed to sense my unease because he immediately turned to Vox and changed the subject.

“What are you making, anyway? It smells good.” He gave Velvette a meaningful look and she jumped down from the counter.

“Hey, reader, let’s get you dressed for the night, its going to be a blast! Come on, I have the perfect outfit in mind!”

Grateful for the escape, I followed her down to her room.

#the vees #valentino x reader #valentino x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin fluff #the vees x reader #vox x reader #valentino x wife #valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin vox #voxval #vees #vox the tv demon #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette

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helloanthy · 1 day

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🗒️ 24.04.2024 ⋅⋅⋅ 🥀

some notes for 20.09.2023 post and a separate cut out for utena because i spent a very long time rendering her ... the original concept i had in my head for this art was very different. it was just supposed to be a style study of this an official anime prop design art, and i'd thought to draw anthy in a similar pose across from her like in the shown version, but with her wearing her prince outfit from the manga. something something another form of female competition under the patriarchyyy stop pitting 2 girlprinces against each other omg etc (side note, how sick would it have been in an AU where akio made anthy fight against utena in the ring? like i dont think it would hav added more to the story or made it better really ... probably would've diluted the message to be honest ... but everytime i see that manga art of prince anthy i imagine some convoluted black rose arc AU where utenas dodging anthy getting her hair hacked off left and right like himemiyaaa nooo snap out of it this isnt uuu while anthys silent and dead eyed hahaha) but then after i drew prince anthy, the picture looked rather empty ... so i thought to add a few decals or borders in the style of the show & official arts but aaahh ... there was still too much negative space. i had to scrap anthy's prince outfit and put her back in her rose bride dress 😭 man !!! he cant keep getting away this !!! [blames akio the figurehead of patriarchy instead of taking responsibility of my own actions] which made me sad because i was pretty satisfied with the way i drew her pose and legs ! but i had to cover it up 🥲 ... the composition overall looked better though. and then after that it kept spiraling. i just kept adding more and more things until i lost control of this drawing and it plagued my WIP folder for months ... i dont want to try and connect all of it in words so ill just lay out all the pieces for you so you can connect them yourself. and you can experience my art thought process in fraction of erraticity and frustration as i experience it myself. this is a lot neater than what happened in my head though because i bothered to put it in order. honestly if i can make you feel a little bit insane trying to scroll through and read all this than i can make you understand how annoying my brain is when all i wanted to draw was utenanthy girlprinces fighting starting references & inspiration: utena prop reference sheet & manga prince!anthy

the tower & the lovers tarot

above: the lovers as depicted in the tarot of marseilles deck, tarocco bolognese deck, & tarocco piemontese deck the lovers (tarot card) wikipedia: The Lovers is associated with the star sign Gemini, and indeed is also known as The Twins in some decks. Other associations are with Air, Mercury, and the Hebrew letter ז (Zayin). In the Rider Waite deck, the imagery for this card is changed significantly from the traditional depiction. Instead of a couple receiving a blessing from a noble or cleric, the Rider–Waite deck depicts Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.6: UPRIGHT: Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome REVERSED: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds a.e. waite, the pictorial key to tarot, part II, VI. the lovers: In the foreground are two human figures, male and female, unveiled before each other, as if Adam and Eve when they first occupied the paradise of the earthly body. Behind the man is the Tree of Life, bearing twelve fruits, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is behind the woman; the serpent is twining round it. The figures suggest youth, virginity, innocence and love before it is contaminated by gross material desire. This is in all simplicity the card of human love, here exhibited as part of the way, the truth and the life. It replaces, by recourse to first principles, the old card of marriage, which I have described previously, and the later follies which depicted man between vice and virtue. In a very high sense, the card is a mystery of the Covenant and Sabbath. The suggestion in respect of the woman is that she signifies that attraction towards the sensitive life which carries within it the idea of the Fall of Man, but she is rather the working of a Secret Law of Providence than a willing and conscious temptress. It is through her imputed lapse that man shall arise ultimately, and only by her can he complete himself. The card is therefore in its way another intimation concerning the great mystery of womanhood. going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the lovers: UPRIGHT: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: Self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values In its purest form, The Lovers card represents conscious connections and meaningful relationships. The arrival of this card in a Tarot reading shows that you have a beautiful, soul-honoring connection with a loved one. [...] The Lovers is a card of open communication and raw honesty. Given that the man and woman are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to open their hearts to one another and share their truest feelings. [...] On a more personal level, The Lovers card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs. You are figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy. Having gone through the indoctrination of The Hierophant, you are now ready to establish your belief system and decide what is and what is not essential to you. It’s time to go into the big wide world and make choices for yourself, staying true to who you are and being authentic and genuine in all your endeavors. At its heart, The Lovers is about choice. The choice about who you want to be in this lifetime, how you connect with others and on what level, and about what you will and won’t stand for. To make good choices, you need to be clear about your personal beliefs and values – and stay true to them. Not all decisions will be easy either. The Lovers card is often a sign that you are facing a moral dilemma and must consider all consequences before acting. Your values system is being challenged, and you are being called to take the higher path, even if it is difficult. Do not carry out a decision based on fear or worry or guilt or shame. Now, more than ever, you must choose love – love for yourself, love for others and love for the Universe. Choose the best version of yourself. Finally, The Lovers card encourages you to unify dual forces. You can bring together two parts that are seemingly in opposition to one another and create something that is ‘whole’, unified and harmonious. In every choice, there is an equal amount of advantage and disadvantage, opportunity and challenge, positive and negative. When you accept these dualities, you build the unity from which love flows.

the tower (tarot card) wikipedia: The Tower is widely associated to danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation. In the Rider–Waite deck, the top of The Tower is a crown, which symbolizes materialistic thought being bought cheap, downcast. a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.16: UPRIGHT: Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin. It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe REVERSED: According to one account, the same in a lesser degree also oppression, imprisonment, tyranny (the wikipedia included a.e. waite's upright meanings, but i have no idea where they got the reversed meanings) going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the tower: UPRIGHT: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening REVERSED: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster The Tower shows a tall tower perched on the top of a rocky mountain. Lightning strikes set the building alight, and two people leap from the windows, head first and arms outstretched. It is a scene of chaos and destruction. The Tower itself is a solid structure, but because it has been built on shaky foundations, it only takes one bolt of lightning to bring it down. It represents ambitions and goals made on false premises. The lightning represents a sudden surge of energy and insight that leads to a break-through or revelation. It enters via the top of the building and knocks off the crown, symbolizing energy flowing down from the Universe, through the crown chakra. The people are desperate to escape from the burning building, not knowing what awaits them as they fall. [...] The best way forward is to let this structure self-destruct so you can re-build and re-focus. [...] with a card like The Tower, you have no choice but to surrender to the destruction and chaos, no matter how unwanted or painful [...] After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed.

infant stars taken by NASA hubble used in the background overlay of akio's tower star birth | cool cosmos: Stars form from the simplest of building blocks - huge clouds of gas and dust that permeate the Galaxy. [...] While these big clouds of dust and gas lay dormant for many millions and perhaps billions of years, eventually some of them are disturbed. This can happen gradually, maybe caused by the approach of one of the Milky Way's spiral arms as it slowly sweeps around the center of the galaxy, or it can be a sudden event, like a nearby supernova explosion that blasts a shockwave through the cloud. Either way, a small increase in the pressure and density of the cloud forms knots in the gas and dust that eventually collapse under their own gravity, pulling more and more of the surrounding material in, and forming the stellar "seeds" known as protostars. From Protostar to Star: As the clouds collapse, they start to rotate, and, like a spinning skater pulling in her arms, each of these seed protostars begins to spin faster the more it collapses. The material falling towards the protostar flattens out into a rotating disk of dust and gas encircling the central core. The protostar warms up, as the potential energy of the material falling in is converted into kinetic energy, but it has not yet ignited to form a fully-fledged star. For the next few million years, the protostar's gravity pulls in more material from the surrounding cloud into its disk. That disk transports the gas and dust onto the protostar, causing the protostar to grow. The increase in mass causes the gravitational field of the protostar to increase and so even more material is pulled into the disk. The addition of more material, in turn, increases the gravitational field even further, pulling in more material, and so on, creating a feedback loop that keeps the whole process going. [...] The density and temperature of the protostar keep climbing higher and higher, until eventually the core grows to about one tenth the size of our Sun, and becomes hot and dense enough for hydrogen nuclei to spontaneously stick together to form helium, in a process called nuclear fusion. At that instant, the core ignites, and the new star is born. Meanwhile, in the disk, clumps of material have been forming, which are the seeds of new planets. These seeds sweep up material in the disk in a process called accretion, forming the planets of a new solar system. Once the star has started nuclear fusion, the heat and wind from the infant star begin to blast the gas and dust away, creating a cavity in the cloud. As more and more matter gets funneled onto the star from the disk, the star gets larger and larger, causing it to push harder and harder against the cloud and the disk, enlarging the cavity, vaporizing the disk, and halting the growth of planets.

deadheading (flowers) wikipedia: Deadheading is the horticultural practice of removing spent flowers from ornamental plants. Deadheading is a widespread form of pruning, since fading flowers are not as appealing and direct a lot of energy into seed development if pollinated. The goal of deadheading is thus to preserve the attractiveness of the plants in beds, borders, containers and hanging baskets, as well as to encourage further blooming. Deadheading flowers with many petals, such as roses, peonies, and camellias prevents them from littering.

[...] Ornamental plants that do not require deadheading are those that do not produce a lot of seed or tend to deadhead themselves [...] if the plant bears attractive seeds or fruits, deadheading is normally avoided

ladybird, ladybug, lady beetle: scientific name "coccinellidae" wikipedia: Etymology: [...] The common English name ladybird originated in Britain where the insects became known as "Our Lady's birds". Mary ("Our Lady") was often depicted wearing a red cloak in early art, and the seven spots of the species Coccinella septempunctata (the most common in Europe) were said to represent her seven joys and seven sorrows. Trophic Roles: Coccinellids act both as predators, prey and parasitic hosts in food webs. The majority of coccinellids are carnivorous and predatory. [...] Cannibalism has been recorded in several species; which includes larvae eating eggs or other larvae, and adults feeding on individuals of any life stage.

Defense: The bright warning colouration of many coccinellids discourage potential predators, warning of their toxicity [...] Species with more contrast with the background environment tended to be more toxic. Coccinellid haemolymph (blood) contains toxic alkaloids, azamacrolides and polyamines, as well as foul-smelling pyrazines. Coccinellids can produce at least 50 types of alkaloids. When disturbed, ladybirds further defend themselves with reflex bleeding, exuding drops from their tibio-femoral (knee) joints, effectively presenting predators with a sample of their toxic and bitter body fluid.

despite said being named after the lady virgin mary they are known to be promiscuous breeders, who's habits have been documented to result in epidemics of sexually transmitted infection in large populations, subject to various academic studies

lyric from lady oscar's theme song "the rose perishes beautifully"

youtube

ok there was more but its been like 8 hours it turns out trying to put my thoughts into words even if its just a bunch of copy pasting is even more annoying than just thinking them im ending this post 😭

#🗒️#📜

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storiesbyjes2g · 21 hours

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3.112 Cutting ties

Love Day came upon us again, and it was so nice to have someone to celebrate with. Someone to celebrate, period. Sophia and I rarely did things traditionally, and I continued that trend by asking her out on a breakfast date. I suggested Vivianna's because it was the first place that came to mind, and I really liked their food. But Sophia was in goofball mode and said I wanted to see my girlfriend. I didn't like her saying that, but I loved seeing her in high spirits in those days, so I let it ride. When we got there, the host seated us at the same table from last time, and that sent her even more.

"It's a sign, Luca! If she's our server again, it's means you were meant to be."

I shook my head at her.

"You are way too high on life right now."

She gasped, still giggling at her silly joke.

"Luca! She's here! I think she's coming this way!"

I was still shaking my head when Yasmine walked up.

"Happy Love Day," she said drily. "Y'all don't have restaurants in Oasis Springs?"

"Of course we do," Sophia said before I had a chance to even think of a response. "But we love this one."

"Hmph. You must really love this food. I wouldn't unfriend someone and still show up at their job. Are you ready to order?"

Sophia looked at me in surprise but also trying to hide more giggles.

"Uhh...yeah, we're ready," I said, unsure if I should even respond to the first part.

When I finally looked at her, I saw her face matched her dry tone. Generally, she wasn't the cheeriest sim, but something was off. Granted, I was probably the last sim she wanted to see, but she should have been over that. Something else had to be going on, and I asked if she was okay.

"What do you care? I can't do this right now. I'll send someone else."

She hurried away into the kitchen, leaving us utterly confused.

"What in the world was that?" Sophia asked. "And you unfriended her?"

"Yeah! She's been sending me mean messages ever since-"

"You broke up?"

"Would you stop with that?? She wasn't my girlfriend!"

I couldn't understand why she found this situation so amusing. It annoyed me, but her laughter was so contagious. I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Did she look different to you?" I asked.

"Sure did. I think she's pregnant."

"Pregnant? Yasmine? No way."

"She's definitely pregnant, babe."

"How do you know? She's not showing."

"Women know these things!"

"Hmph. Some sims don't need to be parents," I said under my breath. At least I thought I did.

"Luca!"

"What? It's true. She doesn't want kids right now. And she's mean...self-absorbed... Can you imagine her raising children?"

"I mean...I don't disagree, but... It's still not a nice thing to say. Maybe taking care of someone else will be good for her."

Nice or not, I meant every word. It was hard not to get upset about it. Sims all around us kept popping up pregnant unexpectedly while Sophia and I woohoo'd each other's brains out to no avail. WE want a baby! Why won't it happen for us? It wasn't fair. But I didn't want to ruin our date with my petty, jealous thoughts. That rant would have to remain in my head.

"Anyway... You excited about moving tomorrow?"

"You know it! I can hardly believe it."

"Yeah, seriously. I've been thinking about that house for so long... I have to keep reminding myself this is real life."

My Social Bunny chime went off, so I checked to see who sent me a message.

"Oh...it's Maira."

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're surprised your friend is messaging you."

"I'm not surprised. It's just...I don't know. Every time I hear from her, I feel bad."

"How come?"

"Because I'm such a bad friend to her."

Sophia's lip quivered.

"I highly doubt that."

"It's true though! I never call her. She's always the one reaching out. Even back in the day it was like that. When I was open to dating her-well, she says we did date, but whatever. I got mixed signals, so I kinda stopped putting energy into our friendship. Then I met Yasmine-"

"While you were talking to me," she said sarcastically.

Like a light switch flicking on, I understood why she continued to joke about me and Yasmine. She still felt some kind of way about realizing she wasn't the only one I was talking to, and this was her brand of petty behavior. I shook my head because I knew she would never let that go, and the jokes were a permanent part of our marriage.

"Yes, I was talking to you. I met Yasmine and Chi Chi-"

"I thought you didn't date her."

"I didn't. She came to my classes a lot and invited me to her house a few times."

She eyed me suspiciously, but I continued my story.

"Dating, having female friends, and all of that was new to me. I didn't know how to say no to her. I couldn't say no to her; you know how she is. And I was talking to you on top of dealing with my own issues... It was a crazy time, and I didn't know how to handle it all, so I ended up neglecting Maira. I feel bad because it wasn't like that in the beginning."

"You didn't have any distractions then."

"Yeah...that's true."

"Do you think it's time to let her go? Everyone's not meant to be in your life forever."

"I know. That might be part of the issue. I want to be a good friend while being respectful to you, but I honestly don't know how she fits into my life anymore. But severing the relationship? I don't think I want to do that. At least not yet."

"Okay." She turned back to her food and took a few bites before a very obvious idea let up her face. "Since we're moving now, we should do a combo celebration! We can turn my birthday party into a housewarming party! Invite her to that."

"Oooh good thinking! You know I married you for your brains."

"Ah ha! The truth comes out."

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #sophia aguilar #yasmine angel

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kicktwine · 8 months

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*Shakes you like a marionette* THANK YOU! You get it! I've been trying to tell people for -so long- that ARR (and post) is purposely taking its time to build up the characters, the story, the -entire world- that you're going to spend the next who-knows-how-many-hours/days/weeks/months exploring and adventuring and experiencing and -feeling- through! It might not be "the best paced", but god damn it if I still don't love all the random asides and non-plot moments that just -shapes everything-

(BANGS GAVEL)

LET THEM COOK!!!

#to be clear this is not to say a bunch of story decisions and pacing issues were Fine Actually And Perfect #of course not! the feast while Titan is definitely awakening was odd pacing. the sylphs took way too much long back and forth. f’lhammin;;;#HOWEVER!!!! I am of the opinion that you should play through all of that ANYWAYS #because the things they do and tell you and sneak characterization into within the bits that could have used work are still valuable !#because CRUCIALLY because because — it has Payoff #you are there for reasons. some big some long-term some unnecessary but kinda fun #dark road I think… had less of an effect on me because it didnt have good payoff. I would forgive the messy pacing and uneven attention #to characters they want us to get attached to much more if the end was also constructed better. the end was FUN! but-#look imagine if we’d been with baldr More? They were cooking and it was interesting but the payoff could have used different #(or more) buildup emotionally and attachment-wise. I love murder. it is shock value; not cast interest; that makes it fun #ask #anon #(pacing) I would have to craft an osp video on what constitutes media that does this meandering absurdity thing well and Less Well #MUCH easier to do in a video game where you are the main character! Everything can be relevant to your growth #like homestuck does it well EXCEPT when it doesn’t. most of problem sleuth is easily forgotten #anyways. cuts myself off of essayifying my opinion #that’s enough of that you and me are amiably shaking hands anon

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love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward · 3 months

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everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside.#it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time.#i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice.#i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it.#and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

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lesbiansanemi · 6 months

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I think… I have figured out the reason I never get gendered as a guy anymore and it’s making me have…. A lot of really complex feelings

#most of my life I’ve been VERY androgynous #and ever since I cut off all of my hair when I was 16 and started dressing in men’s clothes #I tended to get gendered as a man or woman p equally by strangers #(until I talked because my voice tends to be a give away which is a whole other thing I have Thoughts about but that’s a different issue)#but in the past oh… idk… six months or so? I literally NEVER get gendered as a guy #it has happened ONCE #like sure ppl will ask for my pronouns but I know that’s just cuz I look like stereotypical genderqueer afab person #it’s not cuz they can’t tell what my gender is…#and I’ve been wondering what’s so different. why don’t I ever get gendered as a man anymore #I haven’t changed how I dress I still have a masculine haircut most of the time my facial features obviously haven’t changed #SO WHAT DID #I… I’ve figured it out….#I’ve gained weight. but only in my hips and thighs #all my pants that I’ve had for YEARS are suddenly too tight and too small around my hips and thighs #I’ve NEVER had curves anywhere before I was always stuck straight and now… I do #and like part of me wants to be happy. I’m gaining weight!!! I’ve always been so horrendously underweight #and I’ve battled severe disordered eating for so long that was the cause #this past year I’ve actually very steadily been eating three meals a day instead of one #I can eat whole portions without getting sick #and I’m really proud of myself for that like I’m def not upset I’m gaining weight #it’s just. it’s just that it’s literally all in my hips and thighs #and it’s giving me a more feminine figure which I’ve NEVER had before #and I know your body goes through more changes in your twenties and that’s probably part of it too #it’s just. I don’t want this. I don’t like this.#I haven’t felt genuinely dysphoric in a long time and now I want to crawl out of my skin whenever I look in a full body mirror #cuz I see it now. I see the change. and I just. do Not fucking Like It #but I can’t do anything about it 😭#and idk what to do #ugh #kaz rambles

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arsonmurderandjaywalking · 1 year

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thinking about a Najin time loop au BUT other people are sent back (time loop requirement ambiguous) but only after Najin's successfully survived the day. hell on fucking earth for everyone involved.

Najin's been looping while trying to keep him AND Nagyunn alive for an uncountable number of times and is just getting angrier each time. it takes him way too long to ask Nagyunn for help with this because he's supposed to be protecting him, damn it, and he's just spent so many years hiding everything from him that it just doesn't occur to ask him for help. he keeps trying to attack the author-god thing from Gilgamesh in the space between dying and waking.

oh, just thought of Najin getting trapped in other people's time loops and being forced to help them. he'd be soooo fucking mad. he just got out of hell and now he's stuck in it with someone he probably doesn't even like. what if it's an every time someone dies (in the canon timeline) thing. first Jiroon (counting the day she's stabbed as the death day because she's comatose after which is not as fun and mostly out of people's hands) who is very confused, because she has memories of both timelines now, and the Najin in front of her and the Najin she remembers are very different people, and that scenario is discounting the very real possibility that Najin just dipped with Nagyunn before the dragon's descendants could kill them.

and regardless of how they meet, she also has emotional intelligence and is willing to use it on him, which means his mountain of shit that he refuses to touch is very much about to be poked by the closest thing he's ever had to a therapist, so, of course, he's going to poke at her insecurities much more maliciously than she ever did him. her insecurities about being a knight and how it's gotten her killed in two separate timelines come up so he says she never should have tried and it hurts so bad but she agrees with him. but, well, she's handling this whole situation much better than he ever has, and over the course of it she starts to build up her confidence and she stops just taking it when he's an ass to her and starts giving what she gets and they start kinda getting along, and eventually, he admits that she's probably the most knightly person he's ever met and that she's more than proved herself throughout all this. and she says that he's not so bad himself, and what do you know, that's the loop they finally both survive.

and then days after this he gets stuck with Naryun.

#the najin/jiroon friendship duo... i will be thinking about them forever probably #oh this was a LONG one and i did not mean for it to be #the najin/jiroon bickering besties just got to me. you get it #this au is just going to be najin being dragged kicking and screaming through therapy and friendship #oh and i didnt even start on the potential nagyunn/jiroon friendship. making najins life hell #i had to cut myself off there because otherwise this would get even longer #the ember knight #also i KNOW naryun would probably be closer to like a month after but its whatever #if you couldnt tell im a really big fan of time loops only resolving after youve resolved your issues

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