#i have so much left to say... later

[kafus]

why dot & episode 41 of pokemon horizons means so much to me as a recovering social recluse

when i got into pokemon horizons i had no idea whatsoever that my favorite character would end up being dot, one of the best handled social recluse characters i've ever seen in a piece of media. pokemon places such a large focus on adventure and travel, meeting new people and pokemon, so really the idea of a respectfully handled social recluse character just didn't seem to fit in with the concept. but now that the environment travels with the characters in the form of an airship, dot was able to be created and my god i love her. as someone who's been a recluse most of my life, even as a child, (i would qualify as a hikikomori and/or NEET at different stages of my life!) who is slowly crawling out of that pit, dot means the world to me.

there's a lot of good episodes that have some level of focus on dot but episode 41 in particular really blew me away and for the sake of my autistic ass desperately wanting to tell people about it i'm going to explain that here in trademark rambling fashion. obviously spoilers ahead - though not just for episode 41, i'm also going to be talking about earlier episodes a little bit. you've been warned!! if you don't want spoilers don't read below the cut ty!!

so episode 41. we meet dot's mother as the viewer who is there to pick up dot from her "trial period" on the brave asagi, learn about how dot ended up on the airship in the first place, and then at the end dot gets to have a showdown against her mother's lycanroc essentially to prove that she wants to, and can, stay permanently on the rising volteccers crew instead of going home. this is a huge turning point in dot's development as a character - at first she was a complete unknown only audible through her bedroom door, irritable to anyone who tried to speak to her, then over the course of the show she's managed to make friends with liko and roy, become a pokemon trainer, enjoy food with other people for seemingly the first time, and even caught tinkatink on her own accord pretty recently. and now this episode allows her to say in her own words that she isn't just on the ship experimentally, or because of murdock, or any other reason - she is choosing to be there and is enjoying learning more about other people and experiencing the outside world. again, this is a huge leap for someone who refused to show her face to the main characters for the first half of the show!

this on its own is already a pretty admirable character arc, one i can relate to, but i am really impressed by & feel seen by the way the writing handles her and that's really apparent in this episode. first i'm going to focus on how the writing and characters in the show respect dot's feelings despite her introversion and reclusion here.

dot's mom (blanca) is introduced to us as incredibly overbearing, to the point of freaking out and sending a bunch of angry stickers when murdock and dot don't immediately respond to her messages. dot's first response to seeing her mom is frustration instead of any level of positive response or excitement, which implies they don't have the best history, even before she actually starts talking about her past. i'm not trying to make this a post about dot's family psychology, maybe another time, but similarly to liko her situation is a bit fucked lmao (though for opposite reasons!)

the thing is - the adults around her are ALSO uncomfortable, in particular murdock, blanca's brother, which conveys a lot about the situation. she's not just some stubborn kid, there's legitimacy to her feelings, because if there wasn't the mature figures in this situation probably wouldn't also be reacting negatively, especially not murdock, dot's other relative here. from incredibly personal experience, it is so easy to wave off the feelings of a child, especially one as "difficult" and reclusive as dot, as just being some sort of phase, but already the writers are directly contrasting murdock, an adult dot is comfortable with who treats her with patience and respect, with blanca, who she evidently is not comfortable with - and they're respecting her feelings by making the adults in the show respect her feelings, too. and they're about to do a whole lot more of contrasting her mother with Everyone and Everything Else!

dot is continued to be understood and respected by the people who know her best in the case of liko and roy choosing to approach her to talk first. dot has run off to her room, where she usually is to get away from people, a very clear sign that she's struggling. liko and roy recognize this and cut blanca off from making the situation worse. which, of course they would, they're her friends and they genuinely care about her and understand how she behaves! they even know how to get her to come out her room without banging on her door and continuously yelling or something like that - direct contrast to them struggling with this much earlier in the show, by the way.

dot is happy to see them and much more willing to talk pretty much immediately, because guess what, they're people who respect her space and her feelings!!!

and once again, when blanca tries to force dot to speak before she's ready to (i mean come on you literally jumped her with this massive thing out of nowhere), liko jumps in and cuts blanca off to defend her and once again respect her feelings in a way that blanca definitely is not.

and finally, when they end up having a pokemon battle with each other...

blanca says this, yet another invalidation of dot's feelings and the way she responds to situations. this line actually made me viscerally uncomfortable, i remember the bitterness and upset i felt when i was a young person and my feelings, especially my frustrations with my parents and the way they handled my introversion, were invalidated on account of my age. "oh, it's just a phase" or "it's just because you're a kid" - just so incredibly frustrating.

and you know what that's followed up with?

dot speaking her fucking mind and kicking her mom's ass baby!!!! get her ass!!! let's GOOO. this part of the episode is so fucking rewarding. it's so good to see this character who has grown so much finally stand up for herself. she still needed a little bit of a push but that's OKAY!! the important part is that she's doing it and the narrative recognizes that! having friends and loved ones to help you out is actually a very essential part of happiness and survival!

and before i delve too far into my personal feelings, i also want to talk about a second thing here; i just find dot's characterization really relatable, like i swear to god there's someone on the writing team who must have been a 12 year old autistic NEET or something. it's literally too fucking on point, it's uncanny, i swear there's times in horizons where dot is just a carbon copy of me when i was a preteen. i mean come on:

dot flopping face down into bed after being overwhelmed in an awkward social situation and being confronted with a situation she's been trying to ignore thus far... the amount of times i have done this in my life, holy shit.

the candidness in which dot speaks about being so interested in the outside world, but being unable to have those experiences for herself as simply a voyeur. the shot of her room being such a disaster because she rarely leaves it and stuff piles up in there, including food junk,

the way she spends all this time alone cultivating skills she's passionate about and then shrugs them off as "just something she likes" when an adult compliments her on her abilities, the contrast between her confidence in what she loves but her complete social awkwardness in talking to anyone about it,

her defining herself on the internet by being a homebody, hell even her cute little freakout about the streamer she likes noticing something she said,

waking up late and missing the activities of other people because her sleep schedule basically doesn't exist while she's at home,

even just her general body language of closing in on herself and holding onto something when she's nervous, hell even her clothing choices which are so obviously meant to be as comfortable as possible for her and easy to take on and off - i could go on forever even just with this episode alone but i think you get the point. i feel so seen by how dot is just in general and it's obvious from both the plot/writing and the way dot is portrayed and animated that the people making this show understand people like me, even the type of person i was as a child, too.

all of this means so much to me because like i said in the intro to this post, i was and still very much am a social recluse. i'm a homebody. even now i still rarely leave my room, i don't eat with family often, i struggle to do things in the "real world". growing up, repeated intrusions into my feelings and my life did not help me, they only made me whiplash further into feeling distant and not listened to by the people around me. they made me want to interact with real life less. finally, as an adult, when people started to give me a bit more space, when the ways i communicate began to be respected a little more, that is when i started making genuinely close and good friendships, that is when i began to venture outside of my room and partake in small joys with people, as a direct result of being given the space and time to do so, to have my own autonomy, to make my own decisions, to be myself. i think it's incredibly easy to see someone curling in onto themself and assume they need a fuckton of intrusive pushing, and sometimes they do need a little push, like how dot's quaxly pushes her to move forward in the moment sometimes, or how liko continuously tried to befriend her, but the important part is that by treading too far over her boundaries it is no longer a productive or respectful way of helping her - it's a balance, and a balance horizons always seems to get right, episode 41 included.

it really means so much to me to see dot's journey into coming out of her shell treated with so much respect by the writing and other characters. so often recluse characters are the butt of the joke, are pushed out of their comfort zones unrealistically fast, or never actually receive the support and growth they need - but horizons strikes the balance of being candid about the type of character dot is and giving respect and space to her feelings so she can grow at her own pace, but still giving her support and little pushes when she needs them, and showing that it's possible to grow and enjoy the real world, even as a recluse. it's refreshing, especially with a character who is a child, and a girl, too! i can count the amount of times i have found a young girl character i relate to at all on one hand, and dot is the best one i've ever seen, personally! horizons has been really inspiring to me to continue to cultivate my connections with others and continue to drag myself out of my shell at my own pace with people who love me, during a really chaotic and transitional part of my life and i really love it for that. i'm glad this episode exists for an infinite multitude of reasons but i really just wanted to talk about this specific aspect for a bit and how it relates back to me as a recovering recluse.

thanks for reading if you got this far jesus christ i talk a lot LOOOL. and i might talk more about my feelings on this episode or dot in general later. i have so much to say about likodot and also about the family dynamics in this show i'm practically eating thru drywall thinking about it rn

#pokemon horizons #anipoke #pokeani #dot #trainer dot #dot pokemon #pokemon #pokemon horizons spoilers #anipoke spoilers #kiki was here #kiki.txt #this got personal but i didnt know how to talk about this episode without making it personal #you have no idea how hard i had to restrain myself from making this way too long #i have so much left to say... later #wink wink nudge nudge you should talk to me about horizons in my asks btw #horizons

[plaid-maniac]

Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #Phoenix Wright #not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it #the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama #and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’ #but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly #cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do #course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch #together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good #what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and- #-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward- #-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’ #god what would happen and Edgeworth v state? #the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’ #and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation??? #‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to- #-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D #I am the cheese god remember?😅 #I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses #“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY #And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D #I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together #(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the #“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion #How what they have could never be sullied by #something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son. #'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo #no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that #even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.' #...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then #“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her #catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works. #... #I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D #They are so silly and I love them so much #...I wrote a lot :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #odypen #yahoo!!! #sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane

[mattodore]

not many people online atm so i figured i’d show off theo’s freshly customized moles :) i'll post a proper close up of his face moles later because i'm obsessed, but for now here’s the full thing.

also this is how this background looks with the character page (this isn't the pic i'll be using, i was just testing things out). i'll probably alter the code to match the background rather than editing the background’s color, i think.

#the cas background was much closer to the page’s color before i turned my preset on </3 #river dipping #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #i might delete this later... we shall see #i just don't like posting theo when he's showing a lot of skin idk why... #ig it's bc i know how theo feels abt his body and everything so eyeeee am just like. everyone close your eyes. #but i want to show his moles off because they took me forever to place where i wanted #he has four!!! moles on his left palm that i love so bad and no one is ever gonna see them kjfdhnkfdjhn #i imagine matthias kisses theo's palm there all the time #…jotting this pose idea down expeditiously ✍️ #i’m laying down for bed now so hopefully i get at least four hours tonight 🧎 #also i only took test shots today while in cas so tomorrow i have to hop back in there to actually take the pics i want for the oc page #i want to do everyone’s but i just know i should just keep it simple with mattodore first #oh—also! downloaded a ton of clutter cc yesterday and today so i’m hoping i might actually get to that in-my-bag tag game soon #but yeah . . . nothing else to say and my eyes are watering from yawning so i’m going to sleep 🚶 #everyone watch over theo for me while i sleep 🔫 #gn!!!! <3

[moonlit-imagines]

…

#hypothetical situation (not) but how would one feel if their roommate was using their tv in the living room (which was bought by your father #as a gift to you) and is sitting on the couch you paid for (rubbing their feet all over it like literally rubbing back and forth and in #between the cushions) and had left a mess on the table you also bought and when you asked if you could use your tv in the living room their #response was to immediately argue (raise voice) saying ‘I PAY RENT TOO YOU CANT KICK ME OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM’ when this was the first time #i had asked in our 2 months of living here to use my tv bc shes been using it all week and my ps5 is connected to it so i wanted to use it #she said ‘this isn’t yours your dad bought it’ and then said ‘dont you have your own tv in your room’ (which is much smaller and i cannot #play ps5 games on bc yaknow. ps5 is in living room) #how would we feel in this situation #knowing said roommate is using your things and claiming them as apart of rent (i assure you its not apart of rent i paid for and dragged in #and set up all these things out of my own pocket) #claiming them……as their own………. #and taking over? #she has not even bought anything for the house and then whenever i ask and finally give up and get it myself shes like ‘oh i was gonna get #that tomorrow’ (which is why shes not allowed to use my shower caddy now lmao) #am i being territorial or am i being reasonable for being upset with her? #wtf do i do LMAO #delete later

[silverior968]

Tfp gijinkas (3/4) The Wreckers :] I ljike them

Post 1 Post 2

[Image ID: A character sheet with two characters on it. On the left is a human version of Bulkhead from Transformers Prime, who is drawn as a fat black man in his early 40s. His hair is dark brown with a single gray streak in it, and tied in a low ponytail. He also has a beard and thick eyebrows. His eyes are dark brown and he is grinning. There are multiple small scars on his face. His outfit consists of a green camo jacket with reinforced black patches on the elbows and shoulders, a black t-shirt with the autobots logo on it, black and gray work gloves, green cargo pants and brown hiking boots. The design notes placed around him read as follows: "For him and Wheeljack I tried to aim for the early 40s ballpark", "he gets a few gray hairs as a treat", "I incorporated the logo into his design as a print on his t-shirt. It ended up looking like a band shirt, which would be a fun AU idea, if slightly worrying (no band should be injury-prone enough to need a surgically trained doctor on constant standby)" "proper sturdy work boots- also suitable for hiking". To his right is a human version of Wheeljack from the same franchise, drawn as a lean white man in his early 40s. His hair is ash-colored and very shaggy. On his head he has a dark brown cowboy hat. His eyes are grey and he has a slightly crooked nose, like it had broken before and never set the same way as it was before. He also has many small scars on his face and is grinning. In addition to his hat, his outfit consists of a white, green and red plaid shirt that's half tucked, a light gray aviator jacket, a dark brown belt with a silver buckle, dark red trousers and dark brown boots. He is holding his hat with one hand. The character design notes placed around him read as follows: "I want to put him in a salad spinner", "this jacket used to be white but it hasn't been washed like ever", "I accidentally made him look too cool so I had to give him the most dripless outfit ever", "I just had to give him a cowboy hat - he probably never takes it off because he's developed hat hair like this". The last note has a small doodle of him without his hat on, showing that the hair at the top of his head is perfectly smooth thanks to the hat. / End ID]

#fanart #transformers prime #tfp #tfp bulkhead #tfp wheeljack #2 more left! #usually I would go on to ramble in the tags but I don't think I have much else to say right now #other than I think these characters are very cool thumbs up #I think it's funny how Wheeljack just showed up on a new planet and everyone was immediately like “stop the cowboy shenanigans” #like he couldn't have known what a cowboy is #right? #so it's like imagine you show up to a new planet and they're like “oh you're such a glorb” #and you're just like “what the hell is a glorb???” #even funnier is that later he starts saying yeehaw so he did his research and decided that that was just his brand #that's funny I think

[socksandbuttons]

In the "a day in the life of eclipse" it wasn't the first time Solar's Moon treated him badly. Remember when Lunar first showed up in Solar's dimension, Solar told Moon that there's a dimensional traveler and he'll deal with it. And his Moon responded with "good because I don't care!" it looks like his Moon has been aggressive/treated him badly to him from the start. Sorry, I just didn't understand what you meant by you ignoring the lore from a day in the life of eclipse because it is part of the lore now

You're new on my blog which i frequently ignore things in my headcanons from time to time. And that canon changes from how its interpreted. Anyway, stems from Solar's explaining his moons situation. The lore SLIGHTLY changed. In terms of Moon, being slightly Glitched due to killcodes removal/memory loss. He never mentioned Moon being mean before that (at least not on the terms before he left his dimension). Not unlike things to be slightly aggressive from Moon tho, just it wasnt PERCIEVED moon was a jerk to Solar UNTIL Solar reveals this later on (after Lunars death). They didn't really develop his story until later a little more. So I'm sticking to my previous headcanon of Moon having a glitch, which is canon to s degree? SOLAR himself has mentioned he wanted to fix his MOON AND SUN. Which was forgotten/changed and turned into just sun then into Solar leaving forever.

#like when i say they changed things they turned solars moon into the worst jerk instead of someone needing some help #due to in part of getting Solar in the channel more without running into other montys or moons or worrying about sun. plus a nice eclipse #im sure it wasnt that deep before and suppose to be vague but theyve developed it more #to which is more like a closure to solars tragedy of leaving all that #vs the tragedy of having KNOWN both of them before. and seeing them shells of their former selves #and u technically have both in the former since hes obviously still handling all that #HOWEVER. as much as i like solar being around. #theyve left things in the story that they never really go back on thats normal #so i take what i want really #CANON DIVERGENT WAS THE TERM I WAS LOOKING FOR VFDJKS #sometimes the canon.... i dont want it #i wont put this in the tags #also 'it wasnt the first he treated him badly' that. actually #isnt something u can consder 'treating solar badly' either #considering later u find out moon spent most his time trying to fix sun #anyway im rambling in tags once again

[krikeymate]

In the “billy parents the girls” au, I wonder how Sam and Billy would react to Tara being attacked by ghostface? Like one overprotective and “slightly” unstable family member wasn’t enough.

Somebody knows.

That's his first thought. Maybe he should have known something would happen on the 20th anniversary. He never thought it would come back to him. After all, there was a 'Ghostface attack' just five years prior, and it was all about Sidney. Why wouldn't it continue to be all about Sidney? Billy's dead after all.

He should have moved out of Woodsboro. It's always been risky, staying. But this was his home, and by the time he'd given up entertaining the thought of revenge against Sidney, he'd put down roots. He'd thought about moving a few years ago, when the last attacks happened and the police started sniffing around for information, but the girls had friends here, and Sam's never quite treated him the same since she learnt the truth. She would never have agreed to leave.

So here he is, staring Deputy Judy Hicks right in the face, unrecognised. God these people must be stupid, to look him right in the eyes and still not see him. He manages to talk his way back into the house with a well-placed quip about the absence of their good Sheriff and a reminder that his 14-year-old daughter, her own son's friend, who was attacked, is going to need some comforts of home and her inhaler.

He pauses to take in the murder scene on the way. He memorises the pattern of blood soaked into the living room carpet, the outline of his little girl, the kitchen knife abandoned on the floor. His own knife. They used his own knife on his daughter. When he finds out who did this, he's going to make them pay.

He packs a bag, he packs Tara's essentials, a change of clothes for Sam and the teddy bear she denies sleeping with. He heads for his own room to get some things, and that's when he learns somebody really does know.

Because Billy is scrawled across his bedroom wall in red.

Red is all he sees.

#/mp #ask box #Billy Loomis #AU: the past in the present #the tags tag #I love making baby Tara be attacked. it's so tragic. #the urge to make Sidney Ghostface here is astronomical lmao #anyway what are the logistics of there being two Mr Carpenters in Woodsboro technically and both have been seen being a father to Sam? Idk. #Billy's like 'Christina had a type what can I say'. Her husband left because he discovered the truth and he got to step up. #God I have so many thoughts about where this could go now actually #Like say it WAS Sidney. Who couldn't take knowing Billy was out there still. After everything she just couldn't take it. #She was never going to kill the girl. She just wanted to injure her. Scare her. Get Billy's attention. #But the girl fought back with unexpected ferocity. Things got out of hand. Billy uncovers her in the end and finally gets his revenge. #Gale and Dewey are distraught. Gale investigates. She discovered the truth. Billy Loomis is alive. She reveals it to the world. #Billy finally gets arrested. Tara doesn't take the reveal well. #Sam is old enough to take custody of her sister. She does her best. It isn't good enough. They both spiral. #Just a few years later her sister gets attacked AGAIN. This time it's so much worse. #Her injuries are so much more severe and the perpetrators were people they loved. It wasn't even about Billy this time. #It was about some fucking movie. #Sam moves them to New York after that. But everyone knows who they are. The daughters of a serial killer. With a body count of their own. #There's just no escape.

[dairyfreenugget]

(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)

Hey hey hey

May I interest you in

(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)

Teehee

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards #the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of #void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later #PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted #and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No #the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this #Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire #place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with #examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and #suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still #hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they #have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up #while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much #attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem #much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing #properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had #after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then #they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void #left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare #at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he #and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant #and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts #And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection #oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB

[so-called-quail]

'Trapped in the end!' said Sam bitterly, his anger rising again above weariness and despair. 'Gnats in a net. May the curse of Faramir bite that Gollum and bite him quick!' 'That would not help us now,' said Frodo.

Sword in hand Sam went after him. For the moment he had forgotten everything else but the red fury in his brain and the desire to kill Gollum. But before he could overtake him, Gollum was gone. Then as the dark hole stood before him and the stench came out to meet him, like a clap of thunder the thought of Frodo and the monster smote upon Sam's mind.

Now he tried to find strength to tear himself away and go on a lonely journey – for vengeance. If once he could go, his anger would bear him down all the roads of the world, pursuing, until he had him at last: Gollum. Then Gollum would die in a corner. But that was not what he had set out to do. It would not be worth while to leave his master for that. It would not bring him back. Nothing would.

Sam and vengeance in today's entry

#idk i have Thoughts about this... rambles ahead... #there's an interesting arc here with how sam approaches his feelings of vengeance in this entry #starting with the first quote. frodo's response to sam is so brief and doesn't get much time to sit with all the action going on #but i feel like it speaks volumes #at least in showcasing the different points they stand on #sam centers his resentment and feelings of revenge... he's quick to get frustrated and immediately goes for threatening gollum #meanwhile frodo is focused on getting out. he doesn't have time to nurse anger nor does he want to #it feels like he's advising sam to move past it because he knows it's futile to stay stuck in those feelings #then there's sam's fight with gollum #after days and weeks of building tension from his mistrust towards gollum... this is where the dam finally breaks #sam's been feeding into his resentment for SO LONG it's no wonder he gets into this state of blind fury towards the end #he set himself up to seek vengeance the moment he gets the opportunity #which in some way i'm sure does help him in fending off gollum... that strength had to come from somewhere #but once he's staved him off he continues to fixate that anger on gollum and forgets what he originally set out to do-- protect frodo #and then we're left with the final quote... #it isn't until sam has (perceived to have) lost everything that he is able to come to the conclusion that vengeance won't serve him #...a lesson learned a little too late?? maybe?? no?? it feels cruel to say that #i definitely do not want to take the position that sam was responsible for what happened to frodo #he was pinned in a horribly desperate situation and couldn't do much once gollum attacked #i don't think much would've changed if he hadn't had his moment of fury with chasing gollum #anyways newbie here-- i haven't read anything ahead from here so idk what character arcs await sam #but i'm interested to see if this is later built upon or acknowledged #end of rambles skdfjgkdjsfg #lotr newsletter #lotr newsletter march 13th #EDIT: I forgot to space the quotes out 😭 #not a crime but they can get confusing to read when scrunched together hrnnnn

[frozenhi-chews]

Still kinda wish we got a Starlo genocide fight. Or at least a different one in Neutral

#how come CEROBA gets TWO fights but starlo only has one?! #heck even MARTLET has two!! #like okay. dalv only has one as well. but they were gonna have to rehaul quite a few things to see him outside of the ruins #and im not talking about backtracking and seeing him in Snowdin. i mean an entirely new section with him #so i dont entirely blame the devs? #still would've been nice to have more of Dalv tho #BAKC ON TOPIC THO #i have an entire rant about how i think its absolute bogus that Starlo died then and there #like. he threw tnt at a just/innocent kid during neutral and pacifist when all they did was “break up his posse” #and yet in Genocide. the route where you SLAUGHTER monsters left right and center. all he does is bring a bb gun?@ #LIKE DUDE. YOU HAVE YOUR REVOLVER RIGJT THERE. U S E I T!!!! #anyways saving that salt for later I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT #the cake doth speak #🌵💫

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.

And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.

#i only went to his office to ask if he wants to join me for lunch he didn't have time and yet i still somehow ended up staying for 1.5 hours #'thanks for the conversation' he said when i left. 'and thanks for keeping me from my work' #as if HE hadn't kept me from lunch when he kept our conversation going on and on with his 'wait i still wanted to show you this' #talking to him always feels like wellness for my brain somehow. like. we're different people but we think the same way. #i don't have to translate my thoughts to be understood he already gets my point before i've even finished my train of thought #every time work tires me out so much that it feels like i can't think straight anymore then i talk to him and suddenly my brain works again #and i like how he calls me out on my nonsense when i lose myself in a contradiction or don't say what i want to say or say what i don't mea #and he lets me go on extensive rants about statistics despite not knowing anything about it and doesn't even complain #he just always says 'i'll pretend i know what that means' and says i should learn it well so he can ask me for my help with it later #recently he came to me right after teaching saying 'you won't believe how much i just messed up. let me show you how i failed' #and then proceeded to recreate the entire situation and his thought process at that moment and i just #there is a very big word running around in my mind that i dare not speak of but maybe one day #i don't even know if he even sees me as much as a friend maybe i'm just some co-worker he likes talking to occasionally you know #what does it mean what does it all mean #ramblings

[scalproie]

sorry remembered mk12 for a minute

#RRRAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH #THANK GOD I HAVE NO MORE LEFT ESSAYS IN ME BC *GOD* THERE IS STILL SO MUCH TO SAY #THAT'S ALREADY BEEN SAID EVEN #ONE THOUSAND CURSES ON YOU MORTAL KOMBAT #TAGGING LATER

[soldez]

.

#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy #so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall #for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense #so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u #which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone #but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were #already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant #be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players #intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you #So what happened here was. #There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see #a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids #could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room #if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking #stood on the table #but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything #and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch #next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention #??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve? #am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again #but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die #and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant #obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault #I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that

[donnatroyyyy]

Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.

#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father #but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage #years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be #robin Bruce wouldn’t want him #and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him #and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and #and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin #and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’ #and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and #maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’ #or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’ #and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill #rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why #can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’ #and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati #anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’ #now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it #would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen #a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a #weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’ #his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a #‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it #and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication #but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up #for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice #maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back #oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like #that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and #also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’ #then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers

[sofipitch]

I've thought a lot about how to try and phrase this post or even write it because I have talked about this a million different times and seems to have no impact I wonder if it even matters but incase anyone needed evidence of racism in the VC fandom, @sweetazathioprine and I started getting racist trolls the momment we started posting our fanfic The Long Way Home, and it has continued nonstop and I recently posted a fic featureing the AMC universe/timeline whatever you want to call it and it has simply escalated. And it's not just myself who has recieved this, since I know there are enough ppl that hate me or even my cowriter who are willing to say we deserve it but @vivienne1996 also began uploading fic for the AMC show and had to turn off both anon on her tumblr and comments on her fanfictions all together because of all the racist abuse she was reciving. On my fics I delete a lot of it because it contains slurs that would upset someone else who might look at the comments but I have screenshotted them and present them now as evidence that yes the VC fandom has massive racism issue

This isn't by far all of them, tumblr simply has a 10 image limit. I also chose ones featuring a slur since some people can only recognize bigotry when a slur is thrown around. I also get some kind of insult telling me they hope I die or that my writing is terrible. I don't pretend to think I am a good writer or that I'm the only person in this fandom recieving insults but the inceseant insults aren't on any of the fic I wrote before Jacob Anderson's casting announcement.

And again this isn't just me who is recieving this so take what I have gotten and imagine what the others arr getting.

This isn't isolated to just racism either, rampant transphobia has been present. I'm aware in the past fics or art depicting the characters are trans has recieved hate and @hedonisticgene has also been recieving insults based on added diversity to the VC characters. Really showing yall are only here for cis white characters.

My point in highlighting this isn't to make anyone feel bad for me but to showcase that this has been an ongoing problem and I got possibly the record for the most amount of troll comments to word count ratio on my AMC fic. And I worry for the countless number of new people joining, being happy and excited, and then getting these kinds of comments when they go to post fanfic. It's frankly just disgusting and this is what I meant when I first said ppl disliking the race change would lead to racism. And I feel like overall the VC fandom and especially those with a lot of following and big platforms to speak up and condemn this shit have simply remained silent, or been covertly supporting this shit by saying they are the ones being attacked.

I wish I had something more articulate to say but really I feel any kind of intelligent comment stifled by anger. I just feel massively disappointed and let down

#feally debating having reblogs on #i might turn them off later #but i'm not even sure i can handle good natured ones right now i'm so insanely mad #and i know some of you have stood firm on this since the beginning and actually have a backbone and i'm proud of you #and i can't tell you how much it means to me to not feel like 1 of 2 ppl talking about this #if it weren't for the amc show i really think i would have left by now #which is why i want to say something because others deserve better than to be greeted by this #vc #vampire chronicles #iwtv #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #*really debating #alright gonna take a cbd and go to bed and potentially log off