#i just got very like umm

[needylittlegirl]

#hes me #i just got very like umm #i need to hold someones hand but that someone Needs to be my younger self #like i wish i could hold my hand so tight right now #growing up is scary and i just want her to know that im okay. that ill be okay #and that even if she isnt proud of me im proud of her #21 was always a big age in my head #in the sense that like. for awhle i was so sure i’d be dead by then #like i knew id graduate highschool and i figured i’d make it a few years but never to 21 #so just the fact that ill be 21 in a few hours really is. So wild and so scary #whatever im fine #also completely unrelated (i swear) i just got my panic attack chest feeling #i think its because i havent been sleeping much so im just exhausted #whatever #i want to grab little 8 year old me and just hug her so tight #i needed it then and i need it now #i hope shes okay. i feel her sometimes and i hope she knows im strong for her #everything i do is for the little girl i used to be #amd i hope everytime i tell her i love her it somehow reaches back through time and she can feel it #tbd

[reel-fear]

people who still make Joey the ink demon despite canon steering far away from that being the case this is for you I am sending u kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3

People who make Joey well-meaning, sympathetic, a lighter shade of morally grey than canon I am also sending u lots of love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!

And people who generally steer wildly from the direction Bendy takes with its characters and has fun with it I hope to see more from all of ur aus and rewrites!!

#ramblez #batim #batdr #this is not me saying aus that don't do this r bad blah blah I just personally have a super soft spot for Joey being the ink demon #since I really like the idea storywise the symbolism of Joey becoming the ultimate monster of this story #joeys who also take a very sympathetic role who are more morally grey than canon also hold a special place in my heart #joeys who think what theyre doing is right not just for them but for their staff who genuinely care abt them who love them mwah #I just love to see very unique takes on these characters I kinda miss when it was only like chapter 2 so everyone had this wildly #different but very unique and fun takes on where we thought the story would head hell for a while we didn't know if Joey was evil or not #thats what spawned Encore it was originally just a collection of theories I thought would come true #esp since I dont think bendy is a particularly well written story its fun to see the fandom have such fun wild ideas on where to take #the concepts and idea presented in bendy that never really panned out into anything interesting or were discarded or retconned #yknow? I miss the days where the aus were wildly out of sync with the actual story when all we had was a few names a few tapes #and we all went wild making our versions of the story and characters and then got so attached to them we doubled down #when canon didnt deliver on em #umm oops this is long have a great new year folks! Get wild get weird with ur bendy aus and rewrites #lets have fun this year and take canon as optional bc lets face it Bendy isn't great but man is it fun and I care abt that way more than #the quality of the story tbh #it had great ideas and executed them uh badly! But idc bc I can stir those great ideas in my head all day and see others do the same <3 #anyways yeah thats it love ya guys have a great 2024 <3

[animalsandskyyy]

aaaahhhh spotify is evil :/ (not really….but still)

#fuck fuck fuck I just had a horrid realization aaaahhh #okay so my brother has always inquired into what music I listen to on my own #but ummmm that’s private so no lol #but idk music just feels private and my family is very judgmental of pop-ish music and my music taste edges that way a bit so yeah #but around like 2018 when I first got spotify…. I didn’t know that playlists were public unless you privated them #and my brother STALKED MY SPOTIFY #but i’m just now really learning about this?? #bc I recently told him about a funny song that I found around that time and recently rediscovered #and he was like ‘oh I know that song- I saw it on your spotify before you privated all your playlists’ #and I had a mini fucking heart attack bc #and umm I found that song when I was also in the midst of a very gay and very hayley kiyoko filled music phase #and yeahhh I just relooked at my old playlists and the ones with that song had soooooooo many obviously gay songs and nooooooooo #like its on playlist with songs like “girls like girls” “she” “pretty girl” and those are just the obvious ones #also on there is a song called “aromantic’’ lol and ‘never been in love’ #hathtag- oriented aroace lmao #2018 was intense lmao #umm ​anyways #and #like they’re private now but aaahhhhh #he didn’t mention those songs so idk but aaaaaahhhhh I hate it whyyyyyy #apparently I am just desperate to avoid *conversations* lol #bc yeah #I hate conversations ™ aaaaahhh #I shall never bring it up and he’s nice enough to not mention it but also aaaahhhhhh #this was literally 5 years ago why am I reacting lol #ignore me im not fully awake #anyways #grace is dramatic #go to sleep grace #spotify is evil

[twilightarcade]

OC-tober day 6 - symbol

These two freaks.. caduceus ft some assorted article clippings! Transcripts of said article clippings under the cut :]

1- top left

"Caduceus as a symbol of medicine

The caduceus is the traditional symbol of Hermes and features two snakes winding around an often winged staff. It is often used as a symbol of medicine, especially in the United States, despite its ancient and consistent associations with trade, liars, thieves, eloquence, negotiation, alchemy, and wisdom."

2- top right

"The author of the study suggests that professional associations are more likely to have a historical understanding of the two symbols, whereas commercial organizations are more likely to be concerned with the visual impact a symbol will have on sales."

3- bottom right

"Wing clipping is the process of trimming a bird's primary wing feathers or remiges so that it is not fully flight-capable, until it moults, sheds the cut feathers and grows new ones."

4 & 5- behind everything, the long ones

the one on the left is a snippet from the Declaration of Helsinki, while the right is a snippet from the Hippocratic Oath, as written by Louis Lasagna. I don't believe said snippets have been chosen with any particular care but who knows really.

#notwordswordstag #OC-tober #bweirdOCtober #harry woudl be proud. That's not even his name but i don't care to remember it #mr heavy handed symbolism #caduceus ♡ hippocratic oath & that one declaration i forgot which i used ♡ clipped wings ♡ snakes (one more constricting 2) ♡ roulette tabl #ummmmm think that's it #[5 days after drawing me] so like i drew this in like. One night. One sitting etc #and as with most things that are drawn in like. One sitting. I don't like it very much anymore. #like after a day or 2 its always either the best thing i've drawn EVER frame it in a museum or hot shit. Today it's the latter #but what EVER!!!!!!! yolo and stuff.... #oug i guess i need to write this in the caption Huh. #whatever i'll do that later #Something came up [said thing has been on the calendar for weeks now] and I didn't get a chance to finish day 5.... #quite unfortunate really.....! I don't actually have any plans for the pallette week were just gonna sit down and hope 4 the best #[really agressive pointing] this is THAT GUUUUY #the one i really need 2 axe but my heart says no. Because i like her. #we will have a lapse in story logic just this once (once...) 4 da guy. #umm what else [post caption writing me] i was going to trace the articles but it got a bit tedious #i probably could've it would have looked nice #also the colors here are a bit awkward because i was dead set on having a limited pallette with like. 3 colors. #i was going to make [lady on the left]'s wings black just 4 contrast then i didn't. #think I shouldve but some evil voice in my brain said it was cringe..... #quite a shame really. #i am so SLEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!! All the time foreger #had a pretty good burger today [thumbs up emoji] #ok we r !! getting of subject #i thi nk i had like 40 different things 4 today. Same with day 5. But alas I can only do so much #ok i need to go draw an arizona iced tea. please await my return anxiously

[lem-argentum]

artist boyz will draw for 24 hours for school n then go “yaay free time :D <3” and draw for 24 hours for fun

#lem text #i do stretches but ​my hands are absolutely going to suffer in the future because of me living like this ekfndn <33 #helloooo i have been drawing n painting nonstop for the past few days <3 …. #also my siblings all got l.ethal company n that’s fun :) #i’ve never really thought of myself as reckless in games but i guess i totally am. i’m just easily bored hfndjn <33 #*siblings discussing which way we should go* ‘BYEE <] *runs off*’ ‘THIS IS WHY WE WOULD DIE IN A HORROR MOVIE’ #doug would like the game. and prom n noct <33. #OH SPEAKING OF PROM N NOCT ONE OF MY FAVORITE FF.XV ARTISTS RESTOCKED THEIR CHARMS OF THEM.. REMIND ME TO BUY THOSE SOON <3 #and umm that’s all i wanted to say i think. <3 i’m very glad it’s almost winter my summer depression should be fading off soon :’) <3 #it was the most difficult it’s ever been this year. BUT I LIVE FOREVER !!!!!!!!!! 💪💛 #AND UMM. YEAH :> <3 GOODNIGHT WORLD HKFND <333 💞💞💞

[cultivatingyourfuture]

im losing my mind waiting for my last class to start and I've just been drawing ev over and over again so. here are the best three i had all shoved over to the side

#eveline #i may as well just. #strawberryscribbles #Yeah #the a sharp-and-a-half thing is a hyper obscure reference to a video essay i watched ((and no its not the mario 64 half a press one #although i wish id thought of that earlier #umm she doesnt like winter. winter is a very hard time for her especially because the post slows down in that time + nothing in her garden- #grows. so she ends up stuck inside. running through her records until she cant stand to listen to them. and watching the snow fall #shes got some other winter related traumas but ill spare yall those details #you can imagine why she keeps the heat cranked and the doors locked and refuses to even step foot in the snow for yourself #gardening day fit eveline save me gardening day fit eveline #take a shot every time i change either her or cherrys bodytype you will be hospitalized in three hours #theres a vague idea that evie gains weight once she gets happier and that cherry looks borderline malnourished because-- #of a mix of stress and a digestive system thats now used to power electronic componets which can be supplemented with. like. #standing out in the sun for a few hours . #but i have Got to make them look more consistent god damn #oh well. practice practice practice #edit i went on that whole spiel about Why Eveline Hates The Cold and then realized i didnt even include the drawing that referenced that #ok

[drusic]

thinking thoughts everyone made fun of dream’s jaw when he face revealed and it actually looks kinda similar to mine (but i do have an underbite while he just looks like he has one lol) and ykw. i love that we are both moon shaped side profile girlies. this is us 🌜🌛 and i think that’s epic

#like it’s literally my biggest insecurity so seeing everyone making fun of him for it was umm. well #i think that’s why i got so attached to him so fast #anyway i talked about my self esteem issues w my friends yesterday and they were just. so nice? #like there’s nothing wrong w having a unique/different/interesting face #like my friend told me she loves that about my face #i do wish i was more ‘normal’ looking but this is what i got ig #and idk. i think i just have to embrace it #like i think dream is gorgeous and his side profile as well i love his jaw very much #his is a lot more defined and masculine though like our jaws are different #but still we are both kinda like 🌜🌛 and i think that if i find that beautiful in him #i can find it beautiful in myself too yk? #good morning everyone. we are practicing self love today #:~) #*

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Ok ok so here's my casting for my Robin Hood mechanisms AU (+ some random ideas!)

Robin Hood: Gunpowder Tim (she/her)

Maid Marian: The Toy Soldier (she/her)

Prince John: Jonny D'Ville (he/him) (yes I made Jonny play a guy named John) (he'll probably only be referred to as "the prince")

The Sheriff: Marius von Raum (he/him)

Friar Tuck: Ashes O'Reilly (they/them)

Little John: Drumbot Brian (he/him)

Will Scarlet: Ivy Alexandria (he/she)

And I have a few random ideas for songs or stories, with the intro narration called 'The Highwayman' the next song called Merry Men and then the next narration is 'The Maid Marian' and the next song is Lady Love and it's all abt how Robin and his wife love each other very very much (think like Blood and Whiskey), somewhere I'll have the sheriff and the prince sing a gay little villain song, there will also be a part called 'The Heist' where the merry men plan out a heist to steal from the prince and then their daring escape, near the end there will be the whole contest thing where Robin disguises himself to win the archery contest and gets the prize, and at the end the last narration will be 'The Hospital' or something where the nurse who is actually evil (or something, I'm pretty sure) doesn't treat him right and the last song will be Robin singing to Little John about his end and the song will probably be called Where the Arrow Lands (bury me where the arrow lands, my loyal friend / how tragic, how sad, that it's come to an end) (or something like that I'll work on it) AND THEN HE DIES IN HIS ARMS OOOH SO TRAGIC

Yeahh and I'll have to go re-read the lyrics on the mechs' songs because their style of rhyming is different from what I usually use when writing songs so I'll have to change up my style a bit. (I think they write rhymes a/a/b/c/b or a/b/a/a/b something?? idk I've only really listened but I always write a/a/b/b)

Last thing, this miiight be called "In The Woods Of Nottingham" but the title is a work in progress

Sorry if this is kind of a mess, that's just how my brain feels right now I just Need to get some words down or I might explode

#wow so today was a Hyperfixation day huh #the whole bus ride home I was buzzing with energy #I really wanted to bounce my leg but someone was sitting beside me so I thought it would be annoying to them #so I just very very quickly tapped my fingers to the beat of my music #(which was the mechanisms of course) #I kept bouncing/skipping as I walked home too #and when I got to my house I had to run up and down the stairs a few times to wear off a bit of the energy #& all through supper I was either tapping my fingers or flexing/shaking my hands #(I think maybe I have a bit of adhd?? I don't know??) #so anyway umm yep I'll go plan/write some more of that #most likely the format will be an ao3 fic with a different chapter for every narration or song in their story order #maybe the first chapter explaining who's playing who #there will be no actual music sadly only the song lyrics #because I'm not that good at creating a tune and I play exactly zero instruments #I think that's it!! I will probably give updates as I go along!! #robin hood mechs au #(and that's the tag I decided on I guess)

[oculusxcaro]

What "monster fish" are you?

Bichir (genus Polypterus)

You're a tenacious person who somehow continually manages to survive circumstances that would drive anyone else insane. You're the type to not confide in others and shoulder the burden of everything life throws at you all by yourself. Your stubbornness can be both a strength and a weakness; it allows you to stand strong in truly bleak circumstances, but can also cause you to stagnate. You're prone to digging your heels in and resisting change, even if you should logically know that change would be good for you.

Tagging: @arkhmlcst, @awolxsiblings, @babydxhl, @byanyan, @gnarledbite, @goldenmedic, @grasshopperqueen, @paleobird, @the-rorschach-mask and anybody else who'd like to do this??

#🌈 || dashboard games #🌈 || memes #Just a smol for the moment! #I see fish and have to do it #Because of Khare and her fucked up mutation haha #This is.. scarily accurate though #Khare is so fucking resilient and it's sad because she doesn't realize how traumatized she is #She's so focused on surviving and basically getting through another day that what she's been through hasn't really impacted her yet #Best not to think about it too much #Not when there's bills to pay and eyes to squeeze #She's very much the type to keep shit bottled up too #Just pretend nothing's wrong and pretend she's normal thank you very much #Just trying to live a normal life #:') #Fun quiz though #Right gotta write now I've got a day off #Kirk Roman and Khare are all chomping at the bit today umm let's see who wins #Bichir more like bitchir amirite

[pierog]

so i applied for a DREAM JOB and out of 6000 applicants!!! I ended up in the final 15 😟

…and I did SOOOOO soooooo well til the very last round 😔 i accidentally became privy to some scathing information from the judging panel. ouuuuuuuchhhh lol my insecurities.

proud of myself for being true to myself and getting far as i did, though.

#also i got covid so feeling a bit self pitying at the moment #i honestly have massive beef with their criticisms #i left this country when i was 5 and have ended up with a lot of cultural differences #sorry English ppl reading this but i feel like the UK is very caught up on appearances. for example: #it’s an outdoorsy job and the panel were unimpressed i didn’t come in my hiking boots + wet weather gear #umm…. yeah because we are SITTING INSIDE ON A SUMMER’S DAY??? #it felt like posing to me? i grew up in rural NZ so I’ve spent majority of my life in the bush #PS most of the hiking boots i did see were obviously pristine and never taken on an actual hike 🙄 #yes i own that stuff. no im not gonna wear it just to prove a point. i wore jeans and the same shoes ive been wearing while hiking across #europe these last 2 months. #also the NZ wilderness is so much more rugged like these hikes in UK/europe would barely count as a casual day walk to me #so our standards are very different #and we both left feeling quite unimpressed with each other I think #i’ll provide one more rant: one of the exercises involved wiring up a plug. i did it successfully but failed cos I didn’t plug it in after #well um. my mama is a scientist and taught me not to fuck with electricity unless i’m 100% sure #yes I did all the wiring right but it was still my first time so I’m being cautious. apparently that’s a bad thing 🤷‍♀️ #enough rants from me but basically yeah lots of little things like that which I disagree with

[bossbotmgr]

Minor ramble under cut about browsing thru old posts. I was gonna put them in tags of a shorter post but its too long lol

If you can't tell I really love going thru sprees of finding blogs from 2010s. I didn't use Tumblr very much until 2017ish and although I wasnt into Toontown its oddly nostalgic seeing similar posts. In a way it was all heartwarming, bittersweet, kind of sad, a bit cringe inducing (old memes) but mostly positive.

Internet archival and history is a pretty big interest of mine, and I know its a joke to say "Wonder what historians will say about this in 100 years" but in a way you kind of are like a historian on the internet looking at these old posts (If that makes sense..) And putting together trends and even silly discourse.

Its no secret the internet and fanbase culture has really shifted within this decade. I don't know what the reason would be exactly (Probably a mixture of userbase aging and the crushing presence of things like capitalism and other oppressive forces) but even then, hostility is present among new fans and younger fans. Who I do feel sorry for they didn't experience things like goofy reblog chains or DeviantArt journal entries. But even then now, it feels like there isn't much of a space for many of us online. Not without becoming incredibly decentralized, which some people can't just quit certain platforms. (Like needing it for their job)

Getting off topic a bit- I thought about that when I was looking at those old "New to Toonblr <:D" introduction posts, and deactivated blogs long gone welcoming them. I know that theres been quite alot of discourse/bickering lately in certain areas. I've seen alot of pessimism among people I follow or are mutuals with. I also have had experiences with being harassed or being block evaded. I don't know what would neccessarily "fix" that issue, as discourse and bad apples will be in every fanbase. But I think theres a bit of "for myself" think. Sometimes it feels like people view each other as enemies O~O and I notice alot of cliques..

Anyways, just things I thought about. I don't want this to be a "old web good" post. Thats viewing the past with rose tinted glasses. But I think we should maybe examine our relationships with media and our interests and how we talk among each other to create a more fun space for everyone. At the end of the day we all like the same defunct mmo :p

#my posts #turning off rbs because i dont really want this to get passed around its just a 2 am shower thought type thing #and when i mean 'silly discourse' this doesnt include things like warning of geniunely bad users #like creeps and harassers #but i do think in general online some people take a moral high ground and moral panic about these things to elevate themselves #sorry youre learning about my passive interest in cult mentality and group think on my toonblr of all places- #but i think we're just in a very odd time right now as a whole #and we're not even midway thru the decade! eek! #this doesnt just apply to toontown really (which is so funny to say. this intersection about fanbases brought to you by tto) but just - #reminded me of it #if youre reading this far umm uhh um um. ill post ocs soon sorry i just moved rooms got my eye doc appointment #and tackling 2 secret santas! ;A; and im turning 18 next year! im a old fart !!! #2023

[nomaishuttle]

on a semi related note there r like 2 specific times i remember expecting one of my safe foods and getting something entirely different and being SO insanely upset abt it even though the thing i got still tasted good

#the first my uncle asked me what i wanted 4 dinner while he was staying with us #and i said cheesy chicken and rice my fav food and he Made cheesy chicken and rice but it was like. a completely different dish than what i #refer to as cheesy chicken and rice and it was good food but i was rly rly rly upset. and i feel bad bc again it was good and my uncles a #great cook but i was expecting my comfort food and got something different #the other big one was i always get the wisconsin six cheese from dominos. and if i dont get the wisconsin six cheese i get the beautiful an #delicious pizza me and my mom named greg . rly funny story actually. but greg is basically. hes got ranch instead of tomato sauce and then #chicken bacon (always at least these 2) and mushrooms if possible for toppings. and hes great #and one time my mom was ordering dominos and asked me what i wanted and i said the wisconsin 6 cheese yk. and it came and it had ranch sauc #and my mom was like oph yeah i thought itd be fun to try the ranch sauce since we like it on greg so i thought id surprise you. and i #literally couldnt eat the pizza and i started crying over it bc i had been rly excited for the 6 cheese #but yes. greg is my goto pizza everywhere except dominos on occasion if they dont let u do rnch as a sauce we do alfredo instead #hes very trustworthy and i love him... we got him umm. the first time we ordered him was when we were doing my sleep study #so we were like waiting outside the hospital and we were like oh we should order something 2 eat since we havent had dinner yet #and we went to order and 4 somereason we couldnt get the 6cheese idk if like one of th cheeses was out of stock or something ??? #but we were like ok lets just make a new pizza lol. and we made him and then dominos was like Ok what do you want to name the pizza #and idk why i think it was late but that question was like. HYSTERICAL to us KJADBJWABD bc we were like what is it a baby #of course now i realize its so you can like. have that pizza saved to easily order it again yk. but we were like idk.. greg??? so yes. and #im ngl to you guys idk if it was just bc it had been a good day and i was happy and like kind of silly since i was at a hospital #but that was literally theeee best pizza ive ever had in my literal entire life. istg they put crack in that pizza it was soo good #sooo yes anyways sry 4 rambling.

[yo9urt]

beat beegee three last night!

#mine #VERY LONG TAG RAMBLE INCOMING. WATCH OUT #anyway. i was and am absolutely blown away #i understood why its so beloved basically as soon as i started playing it but by the time i got to the end iw as like yeah #this deserves goty and all the actors and writers and everyone who worked on it deserves every award and 1 trillion dollars #it could be because of recency bias lol but i think late act 3 ended up being my favorite section of the game #which i wasnt expecting! lots of people seem to dislike it and i understand why (frame drops + overwhelming amount of content etc.) #but idk i really loved it. the iron throne and house of hope alone (i did those a couple days ago) were STELLAR #yesterday's tasks included killing gort and then going to the morphic pool and finishing the game and i was just enraptured the whole time #the morphic pool and everything that comes after it were just INCREDIBLE #one of the things that stuck out to me the most about the game the entire time i played it but *ABOVE ALL* in act 3 #was the way it makes the stakes feel REAL #the companions are so well written and well acted that i felt genuine attachment to them and they had huge emotional impacts on me #like when i got to the pool i was actually kind of afraid of whatever was coming (i had a rough idea of WHO i would meet) #(but not what would happen or how the fights would go) #and when i turned to my companions and i was like umm. do you think we can do this #and shart was like yes we can :) think of everything we did. that wasn't luck that was US #and la3'z3l was like 'THE GITH WILL BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' i was like YES MAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and i felt so reinvigorated like i was still nervous but i was like well if they believe in me i can do anything #and i am #1 lae'zel defender (not that she needs a defender because shes insane in battle but you know) #so when she was like WE WILL WIN i was like OKAY!! YES WE WILL!! WHATEVER YOU SAY MAAM!! I LOVE YOU!!! #shes so cool shes like my awesome best friend who is not real but i love her anyway #shart is also my best friend but in a different way (i like to think her and my character just bonded really hard over the course of the st #ry especially both being half elves idk i just love them and by the end it seemed like they built a really beautiful friendship) #anyway back on topic. the stakes felt real because of the companions AND because of the npcs and attention to detail #for rp purposes i had my character keep a few notes in his inventory that were just from random unspecified npcs #but they were like 'dont let gortash win' 'i dont want to die to the absolute cult' etc. as like a remember what you're fighting for thing #i just felt so strongly pulled into the world of the game the whole time especially at the end i was like holy fuck #i gotta save all these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tibbycaps]

.

#im seeing things again that keep me from getting sleep and i feel like the world is trying to tell me something and im very scared #i know its not real but its hard to shake a feeling. it sucks idk ive tried therapy and meds neither really worked for me #i havent told anyone how bad its gotten because im afraid wnd people are counting on me #everything is too much effort and i selfishly just want to rest and do nothing #delete later umm #no like actually everything is telling me im not supposed to be here #cant do shit right. i fucked my whole life up and im only 22 #so stupid tothink i could do anything with art and when im given the opportunity i get too overwhelmed becsuse i have one billion mental #illnesses. my parents are disappointed in me for like five different reasons i could name off the top of my head alone #its just like last year when i thought it was all over bc ingot rejected from 200 jobs then i got one but im not happy there euther #what a waste #i soent 22 years trying ti do art but once you lesve school you realize youre not good enough and you fucking suck and you cant get any job #and also you cant get into anything you want to donfor fun eithet #it literally could not be any clearer. im not supposed to be here this was a mistake #made the wrong choices in the wrong body doing the wrong thing always

[sapphos-tooth]

boomers in public places when they start to approach me while i’m shopping

#.txt #😬 #i don’t mind listening to people #but it’s like i just wanna shop #and umm i don’t know what to say about your life trauma… #and i don’t know you in the first place #like i’m sorry you’re going through it #but uhh im not the right person to vent to especially in public #you’re cross too many boundaries #*crossing #plus i got my own issue i need to sort out #i shouldn’t be solving others #especially because i am not medical professional #my cousin says i have this aura that is very welcoming #like that's nice but it puts me in awkward situations

[cruelsister-moved2]

what is butchfemme without gender roles like its playful and camp and satirical and bootleg but the only way we know to define what is butch and what is femme is by looking to how masculinity and femininity have been culturally defined and going cool. mine now:) and it seems like sometimes there is this expectation of us to constantly be performing and self aware and like butchfemme earnestness isnt really okay because we all know gender roles are baddddd and you need to be parodying them tut tut

like yeah I like that my boyfriend is a 5'1 girl who cries when she sees a kitten but she also like just is my boyfriend and im not saying it to put on a performance of any kind. im not thinking about how this satirises heterosexuality, i just saying it bc its true :) and there shouldnt be any more expectation of self awareness on that than on a couple of 2 feminine women. we are no more likely to replicate the patriarchy or whatever than they are and in fact most butchfemme couples are already inherently very self aware so... just let us be ourselves just because we want to it doesn't have to be praxis we're not political lesbians

#butchfemme #i always forget to tag im sorry #like there is potential for a lot of gender mediation etc but it also doesn't have to be that ur allowed to just like it. #and usually it's both. #I rmbr ages ago a bunch of t*rfs got mad at me for saying gender 1. can't be defined anyway and 2. isnt where the actual problem lies #so instead of fruitlessly trying to make some world where everyone wears neutral colour boiler suits and bowl cuts #why not actually address the very addressable things and just free the concept of gender from them #it's naive to believe u CAN abolish gender but I woild argue that u actually #shouldn't. #but a lot of ppl who should know better still very much have that attitude and its constant like #literally on other lgbt people to always be doing Queering as an act #but letting people just be themselves is very different from like #umm maybe women just want to spend 20% of their income on beauty products #and yes they face subtle and unsubtle punitive consequences for not doing so #but no one is FORCING them #etc