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yandere-daydreams · 3 years

Text

Title: Pendent.

Written for a very lovely, very patient anonymous commissioner.

Pairing: Yandere!Bokuto/Reader (Haikyuu!!).

Word Count: 2.0k.

TW: F. Reader, Toxic Relationships, Co-Dependency, Mention of Injury, Threats of Violence, Victim-Blaming.

[Part Two]

You were better, when you were on your own.

It might’ve been because you were so used to being alone. You’d never been one for social circles, the idea of spending time with people you barely liked for any longer than you deemed acceptable, and with how often your parents moved, how many schools you’d been through, your relationships were bound to be short-lived, if they ever formed at all. You didn’t hate it. You should’ve, you had every reason to, but you didn’t. You were good with impermanence, superficial flare that would never have time to die out. You were good with what you were used to. You were better, when you got to work within the barriers you’d already grown fond of.

That might’ve been why Bokuto felt like such a dead weight. You’d had boyfriends before, both short-term flings and partners persistent enough to try to make it long-distance, but you couldn’t say any of them had care quite as strongly as Bokuto had, none of them had taken as much effort to keep happy as Bokuto had. He didn’t just want your affection. He needed your time, too, your loyalty, your attention, all the things you weren’t sure you wanted to give him, just yet. If you’d been a better person, you might’ve tried to give him what he wanted, attempted to think of him as a companion rather than an unending list of repetitive tasks, but you weren’t. You didn’t want to be. You just didn’t work well with Bokuto. That was the problem, really – the two of you just did belong together.

Well, that and he was fucking crazy, obviously, but you were beginning to think you might’ve been the only one who noticed.

Konoha certainly didn’t, at least. If he had, he wouldn’t be so aggressive, his arms crossed as he kept you trapped in an isolated corner of the courtyard, the school day over and most students long-since gone. He was standing too close, his chest nearly touching yours, but the rest of the team wasn’t any better, mingling around you in a loose half-circle. They didn’t want to be as straight-forward as Konoha, clearly. They didn’t want to live with the guilt. When they walked away from this, and they would walk away from this, they wanted to be able to minimize their role, mark it down as an act of necessity. They didn’t want to have to remember you, and you could only hope they wouldn’t give you a reason to remember them.

But, if this was going to be anything like the first time they confronted you, you doubted you’d get that lucky.

In his defense, Konoha was blunt. If he planned on wasting your time, he didn’t seem to want to waste any more of it than he absolutely had to. “We had a deal.”

It was your turn to cross your arms, now, to scowl. You weren’t as imposing as they were, not on your own, but you’d like to think you could’ve stood your ground. “It wasn’t a deal,” You started, slowly, keeping your tone calm. This wouldn’t be any easier if they thought you were as irrational as their captain. “You asked me for a something, and I gave it to you. I did you a favor. I don’t owe you anything, and I certainly don’t have to stand around being yelled at by the person I tried to help.”

Konoha opened his mouth again, his eyes already narrowed and his lips pulled into a sharp scowl, but another boy stepped forward before he could get anything out, his expression slightly more passive, albeit still concerned. It wasn’t an improvement. If anything, the genuine worry written across his face only made him easier to villainize. He was worried about Bokuto, not you. This was about Bokuto. Your feelings hardly warranted a passing thought.

“What Akinori’s trying to say,” Komi started, his name resurfacing from the dozens of hours you’d spent watching their drills, attending their practice matches, melting into Bokuto’s side after he guilted you into eating lunch with his team, rather than the other girls you were still trying to impress. If you’d been any more emotional, you could’ve hated him for it, loathed him by association. It was almost a shame that you weren’t. “Is that we just think you were a little hasty. I mean, I know we put you up to it, but…” He trailed off, purposefully, clearly hoping you’d be nice enough to cut him off. Again, it was a shame that you weren’t, and Komi went on with a sigh. “We just think the two of you made a good pair. There’s no reason to go and ruin that just because he found out.”

Your head felt fuzzy. You wanted to sit down. It was a difficult sort of discomfort, disorienting and instantaneous, but you didn’t let yourself linger on it. If you did that, you’d have to explain yourself, make your argument more sympathetic than logical. You’d have to tell them about the arguments, the way he’d kissed you, the bruises on your arm that still hadn’t faded despite your dutiful avoidance. You’d have to admit there were bruises at all, and…

That wasn’t going to happen. You already knew it wasn’t going to happen.

“Cut the shit.” It took you a moment to notice Konoha was talking, turned towards his teammates and away from you. A few months ago, you might’ve taken it as an insult, but that might’ve been Bokuto’s one silver lining – you got used to being pushed into the background, when he was around. Hell, even when he wasn’t, sometimes. “He won’t play. He hasn’t come to school in a week. He can barely get out of bed. The poor guy’s a fucking wreck.” There was a pause, something similar to a groan. He didn’t have to tell you it was your fault, not when you could practically hear him thinking it, whether or not his lips moved. “It’s sad. He’s fucking miserable. If you saw it, you’d know what I mean.”

“That’s not my problem.” It wasn’t. Bokuto could’ve hurt you. For a moment, he’d looked like he wanted to hurt you. That wasn’t something you’d forgive with a few tears and a little sulking. “I’m not responsible for him. I don’t want to be responsible for him, and I never have. If you need a babysitter, you’re going to have to look somewhere else.”

“It’ll only be for a few more months.” Like always, Washio was calm, composed, cutting in before Konoha could provide a decent rebuttal. “Just until graduation. He’ll probably be over it, by then, and you won’t have to worry about any of us.”

Until the next moody third-year decides he wants a pick-me-up, too.

“I’m not interested.” You let yourself scoff, look of to the side, pretend you had better places to be. You did have better places to be. Anywhere would be better than this, as long as it meant you didn’t have to think about him. As long as it meant you didn’t have to think about Bokuto ever again, you’d do just about anything. “You saw the way he acted, I couldn’t look at someone else without having to worry about whether or not he’d lose his shit. I wasn’t happy. Fuck, I was a second away from losing my shit. You can’t ask me to go back to that just so you can win at... what? Volleyball?.” You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to stop. You didn’t want to talk about this. If you were going to spill your guts to anyone, it wasn’t going to be a dozen teenage boys who thought the only way to make their dear captain happy was to torture you, intentionally or otherwise. “If it’s only a few months, then the rest of you can wait it out. This isn’t my burden. It’s not my problem, and I don’t care enough to pretend it is.”

You didn’t want to hear his response. You didn’t want a part of this fight. You tried to walk away, to push past him, but Konoha only stiffened, catching you by the arm before you could take a full step. You flinched, going rigid as soon as you felt his fist wrap around your wrist, but if he noticed the way you drew back, if he heard the soft, panicked noise that slipped through your parted lips, he didn’t bother apologizing. If anything, into only seemed to inflate his ego further, to make him even more self-righteous. Like he was the caring friend, and you were the stone-cold bitch who was finally starting to see the weight of the situation. Like he was the one in the right. You couldn’t blame him, on that front. No one would be willing to go this far unless they really believed their own bullshit.

“I don’t think you understand.” He was speaking slowly, now. If he hadn’t made it obvious he was willing to hit back, you might’ve been tempted to smack him. “We’re not asking.”

Oh. Right. That changed things.

It was all you could do not to let your voice shake, as you forced yourself to spit something out. “And what’s that supposed to mean, exactly?”

To his credit, Konoha didn’t try to make any idle threats. No, not right now, not when he was so determined to make himself the good guy. Not when it was already clear he’d convinced himself he’d do whatever he had to, as long as it was for Bokuto’s sake. “Bokuto needs this,” He said, instead, like it was all the explanation you could need. “Go back to him on your own. It’ll be easier, if you do.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you tore your eyes away from Konoha, scanning over the other athletes instead. You weren’t sure to look for, support or regret or just enough guilt to draw one or the other out, but you barely had a chance to look before your attention was drawn to a familiar face – Akaashi, standing at the edge of the group, eyes sheepishly focused on the ground. He’d been the first one you talked to, when you first transferred halfway through the year, the first person to offer to walk you home and to invite you to a game and to smile sympathetically, whenever you asked how long your ‘arrangement’ was supposed to last. You didn’t make friends, but if you did, you would’ve counted Akaashi as one. You tried not to get attached to people, but if you were any weaker, you’d be attached to Akaashi. He was a nice guy, despite the company he kept. You trusted him. Or, you would’ve liked to, at least. You could’ve, if you’d trusted yourself to.

You must’ve been staring for a second too long. By the time you thought to say something, he was already glancing up, consciously looking past you. If you didn’t know better, you might’ve thought he was embarrassed. Something near guilt, but not quite there. Empathy pulled in two different directions, but he’d already chosen one side over the other. “I think it would be… better, if you apologized to Bokuto.” He was talking to you. That, you could be thankful for. At least he was talking to you, rather than whatever enemy the rest of his team must’ve morphed you into before deciding to go through with their little confrontation. “He loves you. You should’ve heard the way he sounded, after he found out.” He faltered, for a moment, but the display of vulnerability was short-lived. “If nothing else, he really does love you.”

It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. It shouldn’t have, you were sure of that.

That didn’t mean you could stop it from hurting, though.

You didn’t believe them. You weren’t convinced. You wanted to keep going, to try to talk them down, to do anything but roll over and throw yourself into the arms of their psychopathic captain, but suddenly, your throat felt dry, and it was all you could do to stay on your feet. You felt small, smaller than you had a minute ago. You felt vulnerable, even if you knew there was nothing they could do here, on school-grounds, where any passing teacher or student could see. You didn’t want to be here, you didn’t want to do this, but as you forced yourself to notice Akaashi’s careful aversion, how tightly Konoha was holding you…

You realized you might not have a choice, either way.

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement: (the weight of words):

Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it. “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #ch 92 #ch 93 #sad paper #Anime Only #manga spoilers

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wastelandlovingscenarios · 4 years

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Love your blog. It’s ✨Immaculate ✨. How would companions (+preston) and anyone you wanna add react around a preferably f!sole that they have a HUGE crush on? For example; what are the little actions or habits they do?

omg, this request made me happy and i enjoyed writing it! i love this so much. thank you for requesting anon, please enjoy! this was probably one of my longest reacts ever written.

anddddd i added sturges and x6 just cause.. i.. love them.. 😶❤️

Danse:

he’s never had a real crush before and you bet your fucking life that he has no idea how to deal with it. he wouldn’t notice the crush at first and would be completely oblivious to it until he found himself growing strangely flustered at sole whenever they were in his presence. everything they did, from modding power armor to simply just staring at him with their breathtaking features, always pulled the paladin out of reality, making his heart beat in all different directions and forced him to become speechless even if he had a million things to say. upon realizing that he may be harboring feelings much more than friendship for his long term partner, he becomes more attentive and protective towards sole, even if it goes out of his notice. he would find himself taking over her tasks in sanctuary despite her pleas so she can rest a little longer and take a break from all her responsibilities. danse would become more frantic over soles health, often scolding her about the importance of self care whenever he noticed that she was neglecting it and if she refused to listen, then he’d take matters in his own hands. he’d grow abnormally nervous and concerned whenever sole was away without him for too long and would literally run over to her the minute she’d come home, bombarding her with a million questions before his worries could completely subside. deep down, danse knew he wanted to shield sole from the dangers they faced everyday and pry her away from any kind of pain that could be inflicted on her. he figured it was impossible but knew damn well he could at least try, even if it killed him. soon enough, his crush for sole would grow painfully obvious and knew that he’d have to confront her about it when she started picking up signs.

Deacon:

terrified is an understatement. he found himself panicking at the thought of being attached to someone once again and tried to do everything in the book to perish those emotions as quickly as it came. unfortunately for him, no matter how much he pulled away from sole, he always found a way back to her despite his mind screaming at him to escape. god knows he wouldn’t be able to; not with that dammed smile, perfect personality, and smart mouth. now that she was there existing in his mind rent free, there was no turning back no matter how hard he tried. regardless of his newfound feelings, he’d still continue to act normal around sole, often pulling jokes here and there but everytime he’d try to friskilly flirt with them like he used to, his cheeks would go visibly red and his mouth would become dry whenever sole played along with his games. once he accepted the fact that he was in love and ready to move on, he’d spend every waking moment with her, trying to make her laugh whenever they were together just so he could see their smile. even if he tried to stray away from it, he became more affectionate towards sole, often letting his touches touches linger longer than necessary, offering a shoulder to her whenever she needed it, and just being the rock everytime life decided to knock her down. he’d observe sole a lot, noting down whatever she seemed to have interest in and all the details, small or vast, he could capture of her. remember that necklace you wanted when you looked at a run down magazine at a shop? deacons got you covered. feeling sad? he’d be kicking through that door with an armful of fancy lad cakes before sole could shed a tear. he’s more than willing to go out of his way for sole without a second thought just to ensure shes happy and safe in this chaotic world.

Hancock:

hancocks a natural flirt, it’s definitely obvious by now and sole knew it herself since the day she stepped in goodneighbor. if he wasn’t flirting with her, he was often caught flirting with people he found attractive. after a while though, that habit would deteriorate the more he spent time with sole and got to know her better as a person instead of the commonwealth hero. the idea of one night stands and random hook ups didn’t appeal to him so much anymore as he leaned more into the idea of committing to sole and the possibility of what they could be. he’d find that his flirtatious comments would grow more genuine whenever it left his lips and that his actions were much more gentle and affectionate whenever they were together. his once provocative thoughts about her would be replaced with more innocent ones and he’d constantly wondered how her lips would feel against his instead of observing her ass in that vault suit like he normally would. hancock would often give sole pet names, such as sunshine and sweetheart, and would completely abolish the nickname ‘sister’, pushing it away from his vocabulary as time went by. hancock would constantly tease sole with comments or actions, often telling her she’s absolutely beautiful to caressing her face gently just to see the sight of her wide eyed and flushed with his own very eyes. that image of her was definitely a sight for sore eyes- it made his heart swell with love and awe, a feeling he thought he’d never experience in his lifetime. he would give up anything in the commonwealth, even his love for chems, just to be with sole and stay by her side until the end of time.

Maccready:

he’s such a dork and is absolutely head over heels for sole the first time he realizes he has a thing for her. though he doesn’t go over the top to show he admires her or anything, it’s more than enough to display exactly what he feels for her. whenever they’re out on a mission, mac would always try to impress sole with anything he knows he’s capable of doing or exceeding just to catch her attention, even just for a moment. his suave and cocky attitude while doing so would immediately crash down into bits once sole sent him a dazzled grin or displayed her amazement at his skills. he would then become a flustered and anxious mess, stumbling over his sentences as he tried to pull himself together. mac would become more open with her, showing sole his interests excitedly, like his comic book collection, or telling her stories that he’s never told anyone besides lucy. he’d allow her to pry into his private life and is more than willing to have any type of conversation with her regardless of whether it was personal or just small talk. maccready would frequently gape at his companion with a lovestruck smile on his face and a dreamy glint in his eyes, admiring everything about her from her appearance to her personality. even if sole didn’t notice him doing so, others did and boy did he look like a lovesick teenager.

Nick Valentine:

it wouldn’t take nick forever to realize he had fallen in love with sole. though it’d take a while to accept, he’d eventually warm up to the idea, realizing that the more he pushed away from it, the worse the issue would become. after all, there’s no better way to confront a situation than to encounter it first hand. he’s really old school when having a crush on sole, mimicking prewar actions to show that he really cares for her outside of professionalism. nick would open doors for her, give her his coat whenever he caught her shudder, pick flowers from a garden to give to her, and overall just be an absolute gentleman. he’d literally drive ellie insane by talking about sole all the damn time, whether about professional matters or personal ones, and if her name ever slipped his lips one more time, ellie might just grab a book nearby and knock him unconscious just to catch a break. just like hancock, nick would push away the nicknames he usually used for her, such as kid/pal, and would instead replace it with ‘doll’ or ‘sweetheart’ - it seemed much more romantic and meaningful. he wouldn’t hide the fact that he has interest for sole and would make it known that he has intentions, but would never force sole if she wasn’t comfortable. luckily, she was more than comfortable.

Gage:

he would be in major denial with his feelings for sole. gage would assume it’s just a simple infatuation for the overboss and try his best to ignore the feelings that surfaced whenever she was around. there was just no way he was gonna commit to something he was uncertain of. as much as gage denied the truth, he couldn’t avoid the change of behavior that followed after that realization. he found himself defending the overboss more when someone badmouthed or threatened her and would go out of his way to kill them himself if they stepped a little too close for comfort. not for soles comfort - his comfort. whenever someone displayed any signs of affection or interest towards her, his eyes would shoot daggers directly at that person (who eventually backed away, intimidated) and his hands would clutch his rifle until his knuckles turned white. everytime sole felt down and let a few tears slip, he couldn’t bring himself to give her space like he once used to and would instead accompany her, attempting to ease her pain with small comments and a hand on the shoulder. the thought of being the person behind the one in charge soon faded into nothing as he caught himself saving sole more than once from the dangers that dared to meet her in his presence. he got more than few bullets and bruises while doing so and he found that he didn’t mind that at all. he’d let sole be affectionate to him; when she’d lay her head on his shoulder, let her hand brush against his when they were close, or lay a hand on his chest, he’d find himself enjoying it much more than he should and slowly began to crave it more. his previous thoughts of committing to her would switch entirely and he’d realize that maybe being in love for once wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Preston:

he’d come to accept his crush for the general pretty quickly. she was amazing and genuinely kind hearted after all, so there was absolutely no reason why he’d try to pull away from this feeling. prestons a huge sweetheart when it comes to sole, often complimenting the way she looked that day, sending her small comments of appreciation to know he’s grateful for her in his life, and would go as far as leaving them small trinkets hes found on his adventures, telling her that it reminded him of her. whenever sole was brought up into a conversation, he’d feel his ears perk up and he’d immediately butt in, praising her as a person and for all that she’s done for the commonwealth. he wants to make it known that she deserves more than what she is given and that all her deeds do not go unnoticed. everyone noticed the big smile on his face and the proud look in his eyes whenever he speaks about sole to others and would laugh at his joyful tone as he continued on. it’s almost identical to a child talking about their favorite toy on a show and tell event. he tries to give her the life she deserves by showing little acts of appreciation; leaving an extra box of dandy apples near her bedside so she had something to snack on, sparing a few extra caps to buy her a drink whenever they were out and about, and even cleaning up her room whenever he had the time to do so. in the end, everyone knew that sole had preston wrapped around her finger and anything she needed or desired, he was more than willing to make it happen to the best of his abilities.

Sturges:

sturges hesitates at first, believing that he’s nothing special compared to sole. it would take him a billion years before sole could actually look at him the way he looked at her, but comes to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt to try and pursue her. just like nick, sturges is an absolute gentleman to his core but shows it with different actions. instead of picking flowers and opening doors for sole, he’d focus on doing things that could benefit her in the long run. he’d mod whatever weapons or armor she left behind, ensuring that sole had the best of the best while venturing the wastelands and would try to upgrade her living space, adding anything that he knew would put sole more at ease whenever she came home. he would also guarantee there was an extra plate of freshly cooked food and a drink waiting for sole on her kitchen counter in case they decided to come home that night. before sole would go back out in the wasteland, he’d pack a special bag full of stimpacks, rad x, radaway, modified weapons, and other useful things she might need on her adventures, sending her away with a soft smile and a simple, “get home safe.” besides his actions, sturges would try to converse with sole more whenever he found the time to and find any excuse, even if ridiculous, to spend time with her, disregarding any plans he had that day.

X6:

the crush is absolutely foreign to him. he wouldn’t be able to utterly process the feeling at first, confused whether his systems were malfunctioning or not but would notice that his behavior would be drastically changing the more he walked the wastelands with her. he’d catch himself staring at sole longer than necessary, observing her features while she was distracted and allowed it to engrave every single part of his perplexed mind. he’d talk less, unconsciously taking in sole’s voice whenever they spoke and letting that melodious sound replay in his head for an unhealthy amount of time. with this new crush came new emotions he was never programmed to experience - fear, worry, happiness and relief. the strange thing was, it would only rise around her. whenever she was hurt or away, he felt fear and concern, whenever she was laughing and smiling, he felt a sense of happiness and the minute she’d come home from a dangerous part of a mission, he’d feel a wave of relief. he yearned to know more about her outside of professionalism, asking questions about her personal life and interests as he became more curious. as sole opened up more to him and let him see the better side of her - the one that was playful and was full of smiles and laughter - he’d feel the strong heartbeat bang against his chest for the first time in his life. once he realized he had it bad for sole, he was too far into the rabbit hole to ever turn back.

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bluerosesonata · 4 years

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A Window to the Soul: Game Mechanics and Characters in Ai: the Somnium Files

Spoiler-free!

Ai: The Somnium Files is an adventure game/visual novel for PC, PS4, and the Nintendo Switch by Spike Chunsoft in September 2019. Written and directed by Kotaro Uchikoshi, known for his Zero Escape Trilogy (999: Nine Persons, Nine Hours, Nine Doors (DS), Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward (DS), and Zero Time Dilemma (DS, PS Vita, PC), also available as the Zero Escape Trilogy on Steam and PS4), this game once again displays Uchikoshi’s signature combination of suspense, humor, and ludonarrative harmony that fans of his previous games are familiar with, alongside a cast of complex, compelling characters you’ll absolutely fall in love with.

For all my fellow Zero Escape fans, you probably remember the issues the series faced with financing, which ultimately lead to Uchikoshi helping to establish Spike Chunsoft and the eventual release of Zero Time Dilemma. In AitSF, more than ever, the fruits of that partnership are apparent. It feels we finally get to see a complete picture of Uchikoshi’s vision; Featuring fully animated 3d models, fully voiced dialogue, and some incredibly goofy and self-indulgent dance sequences, this murder mystery (and yes, it is a murder mystery) is absolutely worth it’s full price and your time.

The game has multiple endings (About 5, without checking), all leading up to and feeding into the true ending. One notable feature is that the timeline allows you to jump into previous played sections at any point of the chapter, and even provides summaries of the events that happened in each “node,” so unlike in the original 999, you don’t need to replay through every scene of dialogue to get to each ending.

Rather than spend time analyzing the story itself- something that can’t be done to a satisfying level without spoiling the whole thing- I’ll just say that the way Uchikoshi literally has us get inside the heads of characters by “syncing” with them is a great story device, and is realized extremely well in the gameplay. For me, the Sync was used in all the right places to push me into genuinely caring about some characters, that, without the sync, I would be sympathetic to, but not feel a real sense of attachment towards.

What follows is a breakdown and analysis of how well the gameplay is designed, and some non-spoilery discussion of characterization and character design:

Mechanics:

The core gameplay loop can be broken into two parts: dialogue and investigation, and “syncing.”

The investigation portion of the game is similar to most adventure visual novels- investigating crime scenes, talking to NPCs to advance the story, examining your surroundings, and in my case, clicking on scenery over and over again to get funny flavor dialogue.

The flavor dialogue does not disappoint- and for me, the best minor feature included in the game ties to this. When you click on an object, you get an initial string of dialogue- but the indicator with the name of the object will only get grayed out once you’ve seen all the text related to that object. For some people, this might ruin the “fun” of clicking over and over again- like in 999, where some bits of dialogue would only display on the 9th time examining an object- but for me, it was a godsend, because I didn’t spend any time wondering if I missed anything funny.

The Sync gameplay loop is also mechanically brilliant. Part of the in-universe rules, which are emphasized over and over, is that the main character, Date, can only spend 6 minutes within the subject’s “Somnium”- the internal dreamscape of their mind- and that staying any longer could result in disastrous consequences. As such, each Somnium loop attempt can (hypothetically) be experienced in chunks of about 8-10 minutes. This set time frame makes it a breeze to play the game in small sections at a time and let your mind breathe a bit. The time limitation is challenging, but never infuriating; even when I messed up horribly and knew I had to restart a sync from the beginning, I would just use the time I had remaining to try out the goofier actions available to try out as puzzle solutions.

Somnium Files’ adaptability to being played in long sittings or in short bursts, while still maintaining an engaging, tense narrative is an incredible strength that not all games can boast of. Not a single part of the game felt like a slog or a chore to me, unlike a few puzzles in Zero Time Dilemma, where I ran into the perennial adventure game issue of “okay, so I have this item, but where do I use it?”, “how the hell do I even solve this puzzle without a guide” (I didn’t), and “what do I need to do to unlock the next sequence?”

Characters

So let’s talk about these good characters. Some of you probably recognized the art style for the game’s key visual as the work of Yusuke Kozaki, best known by many as the head artist and character designer for Fire Emblem: Awakening and Fire Emblem: Fates. Even in his work for the Fire Emblem franchise, you can tell he doesn’t care much for drawing armor- which puts him in the same club as literally every artist I know who draws Fire Emblem fan art. His designs really shine in a contemporary setting, with modern clothing, and really give the cast a unified, unique aesthetic. Moreover, the designs are beautifully translated into 3D as well.

For a game that was most likely well underway in development several years prior to the boom of the subgenre, the design for A-set, (AKA Iris), an in-game internet idol and streamer, is incredibly in line with those of many successful “Virtual Youtubers”- for that alone it deserves some accolades. Fittingly, as part of online promotion for the game, Chunsoft posted a series of video blogs starring A-set, as if she were posting to her own channel. (I missed all of these, and that’s a real shame, because I think they would have gotten me excited for the game if I had been paying attention.)

Despite Iris’ obvious and engineered marketability, I think my favorite design of the game is Aiba, the AI partner of the main character, whose human form only appears in Somnium and in the realm world as an AR projection imposed in Date’s cybernetic eye. The way her arms fade into glowing, electronic “nerves” at her arms is a subtle reminder of her artificiality, but her design also doesn’t make her more playful and goofy behaviors jarring in the least.

As far as personalities go, I would say that Date, our protagonist, manages to hit the perfect median- maybe even fusion- between the past male protagonists in the Zero Escape trilogy. Junpei, Sigma, and Carlos were all likable in their own ways, as the narrative character, but all had a level of blandness to them. To me, they served more as vehicles for us to participate in the Nonary Games.

In contrast, Date feels very much like his own, established person, and that’s not only a huge strength, but central to the overall narrative. (For all non-ZE fans reading this review- I apologize for the heavy use of ZE comparisons here.) Like Sigma, Date is a bit of a perv, but unlike Sigma in Virtue’s Last Reward, I didn’t feel squicked out by his behavior; Like Carlos, he cares immensely for the people important to him, and puts their wellbeing first; Like Junpei, he’s, also, a loveable moron.

There are other characters- Mizuki in particular- whom I can’t speak too much about without spoiling some of the enjoyment of their character arcs, but all of them have incredibly good and complicated interpersonal relationships both with and outside of Date.

Lastly, there’s Aiba. A good companion character is worth their weight in gold. After all, most of the time, they’re who you spend most of your time with, and for that reason, the more “annoying” ones always catch more flac for being so. For me, Aiba easily slides into my top 10 favorite companion characters of all time, along such members as Maya Fey in the original Ace Attorney trilogy and Midna from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Most of the goofiest sequences in the game are instigated by her, and every time she’s on screen there’s bound to be something fun to do, not to mention the fact she’s our avatar used within Somnium. Combine that and her telepathic banter with Date, and you got a recipe for a dynamic duo.

In closing, every aspect of AitSF is absolutely delightful; It has tightly woven narrative gameplay, wonderful and complex characters, a storyline that, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t unravel the details of before they were revealed- and I didn’t even get into how great the voice acting is. If you’re looking for an enjoyable, self-contained game that you can beat in under 35 hours, Ai: The Somnium Files can’t be beat.

#ai the somnium files #aitsf #somnium files #game essay #game review #game design #narrative design #visual novel review #visual novels #bluerose writing #bluerose-essay #bluerose game writing #bluerose nonfiction

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ryukoishida · 5 years

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WangXian Week 2019 | Day 6: Reunions | In which after 13 years of imprisonment for a crime he didn’t really commit, WWX and LWJ reunited. [Android AU]

Written for WangXian Week 2019 @wangxianweek

Title: Viral [Part Two of Two] Day: 6 – Reunions Summary: After thirteen years of imprisonment, Wei Wuxian is finally reunited with Lan Wangji. Everything has changed, he thinks — this time, for good. [Android AU] Characters/Ships: WangXian; featuring android!Wen siblings, Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen, android!Lan Sizhui, android!Lan Jingyi Rating: PG-13 A/N: Prequel to “For Man and Machine Alike”.

Read Part One.

“Wei Wuxian… Wei Wuxian! Get up!”

“… Wen Qing? What’s up?” Wei Wuxian rubbed his eyes, still gummed down from sleep. He’d once again fallen slumber at his desk — nothing unusual for the workaholic engineer these days — but his spine and neck ached in sharp, jabbing pain when he stood up, his back slightly hunched from the terrible posture and general exhaustion.

“T-there’s something wrong with Ah-Ning!” Wen Qing, who had been programmed to act composed to perform her tasks as efficiently as possible in all sorts of emergency and stressful scenarios, was pulling her creator’s sleeve in a desperate attempt to make him move faster. Only now did he notice the cuts and tears of her clothes, and her messy hair that fell limply over her forehead. “Please, you have to run a scan on him.”

Wei Wuxian glanced over at her, and saw that the hazel in her eyes was displaying genuine fear for her sibling unit. For whatever reason, Wen Qing had always “felt” a sense of affinity with Wen Ning ever since she “woke up” and started running, as if they were a real family. Wei Wuxian found it fascinating and so decided to leave that setting alone to observe how it would develop. Over the years, the strength of their kinship had only grown sturdier, which was as strange as it was enthralling.

Despite the uproar of the public of how AI and androids should never be mistakenly treated as actual human beings, Wei Wuxian wanted to argue that androids, to a certain extent, could feel and express authentic emotions that were as real to them as they were to humans’ experiences of them.

“What do you mean? Where is he?”

“Downstairs, in the lab. I… I had to lock him up.” Wen Qing almost looked ashamed of herself.

Wei Wuxian didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until he set foot into his laboratory in the basement of his residence: expensive equipment had been shattered and strewn about, and bits and pieces of the projects he’d been working on for the past few months had been scattered into a mess that would take way too long to tidy up and put back together.

“…What the hell happened here?”

He gingerly picked up a fragmented limb of what was to be his next project in the WEN series, an android he’d tentatively named Wen Yuan for the moment. The rest of its body — head, torso, and one of its legs — was still sitting on a steel table in the corner, a tangle of cables thankfully still attached to the various parts of the android, its face oddly peaceful as if it were merely asleep and untouched by the violence around him.

“I-I don’t know!” Wen Qing replied as they approached the room that she’d locked her sibling unit earlier on. From the window, they could see Wen Ning prowling like a caged animal, his kind, green irises turned grey, and his arms transformed into numerous of gun barrels sticking out in odd, sickening angles. “One moment, we were just talking normally, and then the next, he was in complete combat mode.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Wei Wuxian muttered, palm pressing against the window so hard that his skin was turning white. As if he could detect his creator’s presence, Wen Ning slowly turned towards the window, his head twisted into an impossible angle — steel grey irises staring into troubled scarlet ones through the thin layer of glass — as the warfare android advanced towards them, the dark void of the barrels along Wen Ning’s arms aiming directly at his creator and sibling unit.

He opened fire, bullets raining against the window, cracking it but not enough to break through it entirely… yet.

“This makes no sense,” Wei Wuxian pulled Wen Qing back until they could stand as far away from the agitated android who finally broke through the glass and easily jumped over the ledge, bits of broken glass fell to the ground behind him, crisp and deadly. “Only my voice could activate his combat mode.”

He turned sharply to Wen Qing. “Where did he go yesterday? Who came in close contact with him?”

“We gave a presentation and held a demonstration session for newly-recruited cadets at the Lanling military base,” Wen Qing recalled, “that was it.”

“Lanling military base…” Wei Wuxian murmured under his breath, his frown deepening from the mentioning of the name. Just two months ago, he’d received an invitation from his stepsister Jiang Yanli, who’d wanted him to come and celebrate her marriage to Jin Zixuan, a respected lieutenant and grandson of the old general who had total military control of the Lanling province, with the rest of their family and friends.

Wei Wuxian made up an excuse to be absent from the ceremony, but due to this shift in the Jiang and Jin families’ relationship, he found no reason to deny the Lanling government’s request to have his prototype units gave a demonstration for their military’s cadets, especially since the government had invested a lot in Wei Wuxian’s WEN series as well.

“But some of the recruits had been very enthusiastic and curious about Ah-Ning’s composition, and you know how he gets with kids,” Wen Qing tightened her fists by her sides. For an android designed for utter destruction, when he was not in his combat mode, Wen Ning could be worryingly nice to strangers. “One of them must’ve planted something into his system — some sort of spyware or something.”

“We can’t run a scan on him right now,” Wei Wuxian uttered, “not when he’s in this state. But whatever’s been planted within Ah-Ning, it’s changing the codes of his learning algorithms that has overridden his decision-making system and completely superseded the voice-control function.”

Wen Ning was already half way across the room, and he showed no signs of stopping his actions or recognizing his sibling unit and the robotics engineer who built him.

“Unit WEN0411, cease your operations at once!” Wei Wuxian tried, his voice hoarse.

Another step forward. The metallic clinks of his bones and tendons and the blank stare of his unseeing eyes only meant a certain fate: one that ended with the death of his creator and a world of chaos.

“Wei Wuxian…” there was a tremble to her voice when Wen Qing spoke his name, “activate my combat mode.”

“…What?”

“This is the only way you’ll come out of this alive,” Wen Qing continued, her jaw tightening in resolution. Her programmed personality was surfacing again, her codes dictating her to perform the most important duty she was designed to do in the most efficient way possible: she must protect those who were in dire danger so that less damage could be done in total. “I don’t know how many other units have already been infected by Ah-Ning since yesterday, but the virus must be spreading through the city like a wildfire right now, and you’re the one who can put a stop to this.”

“Wen Qing, we don’t have to do this…”

“Yes, we do! You know we do!” Wen Qing shouted, though her sharp gaze remained trained on her sibling unit who she no longer recognized. “You’ve come this far. Don’t start being a coward now.”

So, was this how fragile the affinity between android units truly was? Torn apart by a foreign spyware. Completely erased from their memories due to the presence of a virus that only consumed and modified in frightening speed and fatal precision.

Wei Wuxian shivered as he allowed Wen Qing to shove him back and watched the medic android walking towards Wen Ning. For the first time in his life, he truly feared his own creations that he’d always took pride in.

“Unit WEN0812, activate combat mode.”

vi.

Imprisonment sapped the life and spirit out of most, but it was oddly kind to Wei Wuxian, who, other than looking a little slimmer and the shadows beneath his eyes a little more bruised, looked nothing like a man who’d been in prison for the past six months.

“Guess you were right about me all this time, huh, Lan Wangji?”

“I wish I had been wrong.”

‘I wish I had tried harder.’

“What’s happening out there?”

“The government has issued recalls. Not only of the units you designed, but others that were produced around the same time period.”

“And the LAN series?”

“We’re putting it on hold for now.”

The conversation briefly halted.

Wei Wuxian wanted to apologize; he knew how important the Linear Aegis Nurturer series was to the head engineer of Gusu Robotics, who’d spent the past few years perfecting the codes and blueprints, focusing on the nurturing and social welfare elements, of what he hoped would become an accommodating addition to the community.

He wanted to apologize, but the guilt in him wouldn’t allow it. It had swallowed and consumed everything that he cared about.

“I’ve overestimated my own abilities; I thought I could play God — I thought I was making the world better. I’m such a fucking fool.”

“It’s not your fault. Someone uses your androids to spread the virus and wants to watch the world burn. This isn’t you.”

“But I helped make it happen, even if I hadn’t meant to. I should’ve been able to spot the loophole and patch it, but I didn’t. The fault is all mine.”

“I will find the person who planted the virus.”

“What’s the point?”

Wei Wuxian smiled at him through the thick glass, and Lan Wangji wanted to smash the barrier between them with his bare hands.

“Lan Wangji, will you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

vii.

Wei Wuxian told him about Wen Yuan. The second generation of the WEN series was going to be his attempt to combine elements of a companion android and that of a combatant; the unit was not designed to be used for military or police auxiliaries but for those who were in search for either platonic or romantic partner with some added traits of a protective guardian that had at least as much abilities as a proficient soldier unit.

“I’ve hidden him and some of his core parts in one of the warehouses that the Jiang family owns. Once this craze dies down, will you… will you retrieve him for me and reprogram him?”

“Reprogram him… in what way?”

“In whatever way that you find fitting,” Wei Wuxian smiled wistfully. “I trust your judgement. You’d make him a better android than I ever could.”

“That’s not true.”

Wei Wuxian chose not to argue this time.

Two years and four months had passed when the storm finally dissipated. The initial rage of mass recalls conducted by the government had urged thousands of humans, especially those who were weary of AI’s presence in the first place, to hunt down specific android models gradually dwindled down. Irrationality and terror at last burned itself out, enough that the government had started to restructure the robotics industry with stricter regulations and severe penalties for those who broke the rules.

While the sales and production rates of androids dropped significantly during the two years since Wei Wuxian’s arrest, the market only became more demanding once the restrictions and bans had been lifted.

In a warehouse far from the city center, Lan Wangji found the remains of Wen Yuan. He carefully packed the parts and brought them back to his own laboratory, where he proceeded to finish putting together the hardware of the android unit. The coding, however, proved to be the more challenging portion.

He remembered Wei Wuxian telling him to completely re-program Wen Yuan’s codes, but the foundation was already set, and Lan Wangji wanted to salvage whatever codes that regulated Wen Yuan’s original personality as Wei Wuxian had first intended: loyalty, compassion, and benevolence of a companion android; ferocity, selflessness, and courage of a soldier. It took him more than two years to perfect the codes and programming, and by the time he completed the project, Gusu Robotics had already released a few prototypes of the LAN series androids.

Standing next to the engineer now was one of the first models of the LAN series — unit LAN0168, also known as Lan Jingyi, a childcare assistant android. The initial release of this unit had stirred up two extreme reactions in the spectrum among the consumers and general public: on one hand, many parents, daycare centers, and schools truly appreciated the addition of such efficient assistance in the household and educational settings, but on the other, people who still remembered the slaughter and chaos stemmed from Wei Wuxian’s AI creations contended that these androids would only be a source of unnecessary risk and danger for their children.

Still, the demand for it continued to increase despite some outrage, and LAN0168 quickly became a successful and popular model since its launch.

“Master Lan, who’s this?” Lan Jingyi, who’d remained by his creator’s side since he first started operating several years ago, asked, his boyish curiosity making his eyes light up with a hint of gold. He circled around the unit, which was still “asleep” with its eyes closed, its lips frozen in a very subtle smile as if it were having a pleasant dream.

“LAN0112,” Lan Wangji replied in a quiet tone, and then with a softer, gentler voice, he corrected himself, “Lan Sizhui.”

“What sort of an android is he supposed to be?”

“A companion unit designed to fulfil emotional and sexual needs as necessary, with the user’s choice of having him as either a platonic or romantic companion.”

A perfect partner.

With the help of Lan Jingyi, Lan Wangji unplugged all the wires attached to the sleeping android’s body.

The very last step was to activate the unit, to breathe life into this android.

Using careful, probing fingers, Lan Wangji located the small knob behind the curve of the unit’s right ear. He slid the pad of his index finger across it, and heard a soft click inside the body, followed by quiet whirring hardly discernible even when he was standing this close.

“LAN0112, wake up,” Lan Wangji whispered the command.

One heartbeat. One long, slow exhale.

He opened his eyes gradually, irises honey-toned and gaze as warm as the late summer sun scattering through the green foliage. He focused on the first face he saw, and gave the human a small, timid smile.

“Hello, I am LAN0112, a companion unit of the Linear Aegis Nurturer series by Gusu Robotics. Thank you for choosing me to accompany you. Before we start, would you like to give me a new name?”

“Lan Sizhui,” Lan Wangji said, patting the android on his head gently, and the newly-awaken unit leaned against the tender touch with a quiet hum, like a cat happily and calmly appreciating its owner’s affection. “From now on, your name will be Lan Sizhui.”

viii.

“You know, Lan Wangji, you really don’t have to do this.”

A robotic arm, without any pretense or concealment of artificial skin covering the cold and angular metal, reached out to take the mug of coffee offered by one of the android assistants in Lan Wangji’s personal laboratory.

Thirteen years in prison hadn’t diminished his passion in robotics, but it did make him reconsider his priorities and purpose in his creations. Fellow prisoners did not take lightly to Wei Wuxian’s crimes, and more than once, he was attacked by a group of anti-AI protestors, who were prejudiced against all androids from the start, and targeted Wei Wuxian again and again.

In the hopes of destroying him, they crushed his arms — the essence of his genius artificial intelligence creations — but the pain was nothing compared to what he had put Jiang Yanli and her child through. He’d heard about the news from Jiang Cheng himself — it was the only time he’d visited him during the thirteen years he was in prison — that Jin Ling had become an orphan because Jiang Yanli grew too sick and never recovered after her husband’s death in the war against androids about a year ago.

Jiang Cheng lost his sister because of him.

Jin Ling lost both of his parents because of him.

Losing his arms seemed like nothing compared to the desolate emptiness when your loved ones left you for good.

Wei Wuxian stared at the swirling, milky-brown of his coffee held in his metallic hand The sensors on his fingers allowed him to feel the hard gleam and mild warmth of the ceramic, but he knew he would never be able to touch and feel in the same way as he used to anymore.

Some people would call that irony; others would call it karma; for Wei Wuxain, however, he saw it as rightful punishment for what he’d done.

He didn’t deserve the kindness that Lan Wangji was showing him. It was too much, and Wei Wuxian was unsure of how to act.

“I want to,” Lan Wangji said, tone firm and sincere.

“I mean, I’m honored that you’re offering me a position at Gusu Robotics, but what does your brother think about that? The RAC can’t be happy about it, either — the biggest and most influential robotics company harboring an ex-convict and giving him a job? You’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Brother only considers one’s talents and aspirations; your past does not dictate or define who you are.”

“And the RAC?” Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow.

“Not important right now,” Lan Wangji assured him.

After a second of stilted silence, Wei Wuxian broke into a wild, booming laugh, and Lan Wangji looked at him bemusedly.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day when you outright defy the RAC,” Wei Wuxian explained through lingering chuckles, and he took a sip of coffee in an attempt to calm himself down. “I’m proud of you, Lan Wangji, really, I am.”

“I’ve found out who planted the virus,” Lan Wangji suddenly said, and the other engineer froze.

“…It’s fine,” Wei Wuxian heaved a soft sigh a moment later after he’d digested the unexpected news, a small smile making the red in his eyes that much subtler, less domineering than they used to be. “I told you, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do anything about him,” Lan Wangji said, tone dipped in biting cold, “he’s apparently important enough that the government has made sure no one can compromise him.”

“I don’t want to instigate anything anymore,” Wei Wuxian said, leaning back against the office chair and cradling the warm mug in his lap. “I’ve wasted thirteen years in prison — well, I suppose it wasn’t really a waste since it gave me a lot of time to think, y’know. Too much time, sometimes.” He laughed again, but this time the sound was self-depreciating, bitter, and Lan Wangji wanted to rip that away from him.

“I don’t want to waste more time dwelling on things that I can no longer change.”

“…I understand.”

“Anyway, you said you wanted to show me something? I do love surprises. Well? What is it?” Wei Wuxian had always been good at changing subjects during times like this, and so Lan Wangji let him.

He nodded, and called for someone to come in.

At his creator’s beckoning, an android unit strolled into the lab.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes grew wide with instant recognition.

“Wait… wait a fucking minute… Is that…? Are you…?” Wei Wuxian stood up abruptly and walked towards the android, who was slightly shorter than him.

“Master Wei, I hope you can accept Master Lan’s proposal to stay in Gusu Robotics and work alongside with him,” the android with the face and body of a young man in his early 20’s greeted the engineer with a courteous smile.

“Wen… Yuan?” Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure. The anatomical and facial aspects of the android he designed and built himself thirteen years ago were similar to what he remembered, but the way the android spoke and carried himself — the natural elegance, the pleasant, amiable manner, and the soothing, serene voice — Wei Wuxian could see the shadow of his initial design, but under Lan Wangji’s crafting hands, this second generation of the WEN unit had grown into something else entirely.

“I am called Lan Sizhui now, but Master Lan had told me everything about you,” Lan Sizhui smiled gently at Wei Wuxian, the expression exuding nothing but earnestness and gratitude. “Master Wei, you are my first creator — the one who conceptualized and conceived me originally — but Master Lan took me in, fixed me up and finalized my programming after you requested him to do so, and since then I’ve been staying with Master Lan and helping him as one of his lab assistants.”

“So… what category of android do you belong in?” Wei Wuxian didn’t want to seem rude, so he reined in the awed staring as much as he could, but he could tell — from the color of Lan Sizhui’s eyes to the voice chosen to best fit his personality — that Lan Wangji had poured his heart and soul into this android’s design and programming.

This unexpected joint project of theirs stirred up another rivulet of inspiration inside Wei Wuxian, who’d thought that after thirteen years of being imprisoned, the flow of creativity that used to run in his veins so easily and naturally had been completely sapped dry.

“I’m a companion unit, but unlike previous models of similar units, I have two settings that allow the purchaser to choose from in accordance to their needs and wants,” Lan Sizhui lifted his arm so that his hand, palm facing upwards as if he was offering Wei Wuxian something precious, was at the level of his chest, and a holographic display window appeared above his palm with the words presented thus:

{For your best experience of this unit, please choose from the following settings: Platonic Companion or Romantic Partner.}

“After the user has picked a setting, more details regarding different aspects of my personality and applications can be edited and added according to the user’s tastes and preferences,” Lan Sizhui continued to explain with a pleasant smile.

“And what setting are you in right now?” Wei Wuxian was curious.

“Neither,” Lan Sizhui replied, gathering his fingers into a loose fist to turn off the display. “Master Lan only wishes me to be an assistant and disciple, and has told me that I can continue as thus until I encounter a human deemed important enough to me that I would be willing to let them pick a specific setting for me. Until that day comes, however, I shall happily remain by Master Lan’s side.”

“A human deemed important enough, huh?” Wei Wuxian repeated the phrase thoughtfully, chewing over the subtle meaning of the words as he glanced over at Lan Wangji, who had stayed on the sidelines quietly as he observed the human and the android interact before him.

As their eyes met, Wei Wuxian could see just a hint of a smile from the usually stoic man, the expression simultaneously hopeful, inviting, yet timid as if everything rested on Wei Wuxian’s response to Lan Wangji’s previous offer.

“Sizhui, would you excuse us for a moment?”

“Of course, Master Wei,” Lan Sizhui nodded to both of his creators and left, shutting the door lightly behind him.

Wei Wuxian walked over to where Lan Wangji was sitting, but Lan Wangji made no movement to stand up so that Wei Wuxian seemed to have the advantage of gazing down at him from a significant height. So many years ago, back when he was still a high-spirited teenager — a fearless, over-confident youngster who thought he could defy the laws and conquer the world with ideals alone — he would have done anything to stand tall and tower over someone like Lan Wangji with all his accomplishments and triumphs.

But it took him thirteen years to realize that those kinds of accomplishments and triumphs were mere trifles, shallow and fleeting and eventually left forgotten; they had meant nothing because he had no one to share them with.

He had no one but his androids, and even then… Even then…

He thought about Wen Ning and Wen Qing, and how they were forced to destroy each other in the end. He thought about Wen Yuan — or rather Lan Sizhui — who was given another chance at “living” the way he chose for himself.

With a slightly trembling metallic arm, Wei Wuxian reached out and down towards Lan Wangji’s face, silver fingers delicately cradling the other man’s face. The smooth, icy surface of the steel chilled his skin, and he shivered a little at the gentle touch, his cheeks awash with a hint of rosy pink as he stared up at Wei Wuxian quietly with eyes ablaze with unbridled devotion.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian whispered an apology, voice hoarse and low, thinking that Lan Wangji disliked the cold, metallic touch, but just as he was about to retrieve his hand back, Lan Wangji wrapped his fingers tautly around his wrist and pulled him down.

And he thought he was falling, his mind reeling from the abrupt feeling of vertigo.

Wei Wuxian only registered the temperature of the other man’s skin against his own metallic coating with a half-second delay, but then it hit him too suddenly, too much, and they were breathing into each other, face to face, mouths almost colliding.

“Lan Wangji…”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, lifting Wei Wuxian’s hand to place his palm against his own cheek once more, and Wei Wuxian smiled at him, soft and affectionate.

“Lan Wangji,” he called his name again, enjoying how the syllables rolled off his tongue and leaving a sweet aftertaste in his mouth.

“Mn?”

“Thank you for what you’ve done with Wen—with Sizhui. He seems like a good kid.”

“He is,” Lan Wangji assured him.

“And…”

“And?”

“I would love to stay, if your invitation still stands.”

“For you, always.”

#wangxianweek2019 #mdzs #gdc #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #bowie's crappy writing

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 6 years

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To Capture The Dead (Part 3)

She had seen him after the Agni Kai.

She had chased him throughout the Earth Kingdom.

She had fought him on more than one occasion.

So how was it that they were telling her that it was she who had banished Zuko? That it was a story she had crafted after finding out that he was dead.

.oOo.

Azula was quiet for many days after her defeat. After all, what did she have to say anyways. She was very much isolated and imprisoned as she had anticipated, so she had no one to talk to anyways. Instead she was left to think. To wonder exactly what had gone wrong, how she had managed to fail to gain Zuko’s hand in the fight. How had Iroh managed to sway him to treachery without saying a word to him? Had she underestimated his attachment to his uncle?

No matter the cause, she was dealing with the consequence. A few days and she still missed her bending just as feverishly. She missed her freedom just as feverishly. She slumped against the wall in the corner. She’d been over it many times, without her bending there was no escape. And where were Mai and TyLee? In their own prisons no doubt, would they resent her for leading them there?

Her mind jumped from one thing to the next; maybe if she hadn’t taunted him so much, Zuko would have helped her bring honor to their nation and their own names. Maybe if she hadn’t taunted him so much he would still be…

She moved away from that thought.

The thought that haunted her.

The thought that she wouldn’t let come to the surface.

In a few more days though, they would tell her all of the things that she didn’t to hear. All of the things she knew already but couldn’t bring herself to believe.

.oOo.

Iroh took special care to not dwell on what he would say to his niece beyond letting her know that Zuko was gone. He couldn’t make a script if he hadn’t the slightest idea as to how Azula would take his news. He only knew that he would fill the Avatar in when he got news. It was the least he could do to pay them back for talking he and Azula’s companions out of trouble. For the time being, he was entertaining Mai with Pai Sho lessons and left TyLee to explore his apartment. The game was keeping his mind from the things that he couldn’t control. How the Earth King would take to his requesting that he let Azula free, among such things.

The princess was stoic in her cell, scarcely looking up at him. Save for tired eyes, any trace of her previous breakdown were absent. “Can I come in?” He asked.

“What for?” She folded her arms.

“I was hoping that we could talk.” He replied hoping to catch her interest he added, “and maybe I can get you out of here if things go well.”

“Why would you want to do that? You worked so hard to land me here in the first place. You and Zu-Zu both.”

“That’s one of the things I was hoping to talk to you about.” He was in her cell now, having motioned for it to be unlocked. Swiftly they locked the door behind him, with the knowledge that he could knock thrice and firebend once to be freed.

“What is there to say?” Azula mumbled. “You’ve won, you and Zu-Zu don’t have to worry about me anymore. Unless of course one of these guards slip. One of them will have to eventually, then you can worry all you wish.”

“I only worry for you, niece.” Iroh sat himself upon the bed she wasn’t occupying. “Do you remember what happened after the agni kai?”

Azula narrowed her eyes, wondering what he was playing at. “I remember that you were furious at father for burning Zuko so badly and then leaving him to fend for himself with no honor to his name.” She recounted.

Iroh wasn’t sure if he agreed with Zuko’s assessment of her always lying, the only person she seemed to lie to was herself. And he had to give her credit, she was good at it. In the same way that he gave her props, he couldn’t hold it against her to want to protect herself. Even so, if he wanted to help her truly, he would have to break the foundations of that dangerous brand of protection. “That is what you want to remember.” He risked. “What do you actually remember?”

Something in her jaw worked and she tilted her head down so that he almost didn’t see the way she bit at the inside of her lower lip. It was only for a moment’s time though before she came to stare at him once more with a frighteningly blank expression. She was retreating into herself and if he didn’t act swiftly, he would lose her entirely to the reality she had crafted for herself. Yet he was terribly worried about how she would handle its shattering. He was counting on her knowing deep down, the genuine reality. “You remember seeing your brother go still.”

“No.” She muttered, drawing her legs up to her chest.

“You remember your dad telling you that if you stepped out of line, that he would do you the same before he made you look at your brother’s body.” Iroh’s heart clenched, he would shed his tears later, after conversion with Azula.

“That isn’t what happened.” Azula stood her ground. “He made me look at the burn marks…”

“Yes,” Iroh agreed, “but there were more burn marks than I think you want to admit.” He shifted uncomfortably. The conversation unsettled him just as well as it did Azula. Having conjured the image of his charred nephew had a few tears trickling down his cheeks. “You saw just what I did. You were the one who confirmed that he was dead. You think he was, you hoped—just as I did—that he was still alive. So you checked and your father let you so that he could make his point very clear.”

Azula buried her face in her palms. He could see her tugging some, at her hair. “I didn’t. I did…but I felt a pulse. He was alive. I saw him, we were fighting in that ghost town…”

“You were fighting but your only opponent was Avatar Aang.”

“Oh?” She cocked her head, “if that’s right, then what were you doing there?” The thought that she had cornered him with some impeccable logic brought a smirk to her face. “You were following him. You wanted to make sure he was okay, that I didn’t finish what father started.”

Iroh sighed, he thanked Agni that he was blessed with a patient disposition. “I don’t believe that you had any intentions of finishing what your father started. But that doesn’t matter does it?”

“Doesn’t matter?”

“I was tracking you. I was making sure you didn’t hurt yourself.” Accenting his point he said, “because you were the only person you could hurt.”

“No.” She spoke stubbornly. “That’s not true. You never cared what happened to me. You were only interested in protecting poor Zu-Zu. Well he’s safe and sound so you can go to him now.”

It was Iroh’s turn to divert his eyes. He was a man of many mistakes; slaying the last dragon for instance, invading Ba Sing Se, and losing his son made two more. Letting Zuko be killed made a third. He hoped that would be his last major mistake. He did realize until then, that leaving Azula to her father’s influence was among those mistakes. If only he hadn’t written her off to begin with, she might have been easier to reason with. Here before him though, was one more opportunity for another mistake. He refused to make it. “You are right, at first I wanted nothing to do with you. I thought that you didn’t need my affection.” At this she scoffed. “And then you showed up in my rental home, speaking as though I had Zuko for company.”

“I’m not crazy.” Azula stated flatly.

“No.” He agreed, “You’re in denial. I think you know it as well as I.” He wondered if he should elaborate or if he should knock thrice and leave the princess to process it. It would be a gamble to leave her alone with her thoughts. He was reluctant to do so, feeling faintly that whether she shed her false beliefs or clung to them, the result would be detrimental. He would, he decided, knock thrice but linger in the prison until he heard her react.

.oOo.

She had seen him after the Agni Kai.

She had chased him throughout the Earth Kingdom.

She had fought him on more than one occasion.

So how was it that Iroh sat there, telling her that it was she who had banished Zuko? That it was a story she had crafted after finding out that he was dead.

Deep down she knew that he was right, she did know. Very well in fact, she that her brother was gone. But how could it be? How could it be that her father would do something like that in front of her?

How could it be? She’d seen him, played truth or dare with him some hours before.

How could it be that she smiled at his misfortune right up until she realized just how far her father would take the fight.

#Azula #Zuko #Iroh #Avatar #Fanfiction

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jolienjoyswriting · 5 years

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Mortem In Contumeliam FFVI, Ch. IV

Chapter 4 of "Mortem In Contumeliam Final Fantasy VI," a Final Fantasy VI fan fiction story.

No fun facts about this chapter, I'm afraid. "What you see is what you get." Well… mostly. I did give some reasoning behind a certain character's actions, in a minor revision~

Word count: 3,360 – Character count: 19,226 Originally written: July 18th, 2019

As they start on an outpost near Doma, the soldiers and officers get settled in.

Final Fantasy VI, Wedge, Biggs, and related characters, scenarios, and properties created by Square Soft, Inc. and © Square Enix Co, Ltd.

[ ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → ]

“Company, halt!!”

It had been a long journey from ship’s landing to the natural land bridge but, after half-a-day… they finally arrived.

“You! Get that bridge erected and set up a motor pool in the central perimeter!” the commander shouted to a random soldier. “You! Set up some tents! You! Grab some sandbags and start getting barricades up! We only have so long to set up, so let’s get this camp ship-shape before General Palazzo arrives! Move, you slugs! Move-move-move!!”

As requested, the first thing anyone did was get a sturdy, temporary bridge set up to cross the stream at the north of the area. Next, soldiers began placing modular, wooden floors down in strategic locations based on elevated land, erecting tents over that. A pair of soldiers worked in-tandem to bring the six Magitek Armor units into the center of the area and, not long after, some non-enlisted men brought out some equipment and assembled some power generators. Some of the other conscripted civilians also set to work on what looked like alien technology – bumpy, disc-shaped objects with mechanical arms and laser arrays – which would serve as eyes-in-the-sky, once powered. As night fell over the area… the camp had started to take shape.

“Not too shabby, huh?”

Wedge grinned to his partner as he made the finishing touches on their tent – one of the ones closest to where they’d started the camp.

“I have to admit… you seem to know a-thing-or-two about pitching a tent,” Biggs told him as he looked around. “Was there ever any doubt?” the shorter man beamed. “This reminds me of our failed mission to Narshe, a while ago… Remember that blizzard that came out-of-nowhere?” “I remember ordering that cute witch-girl to clean my boots!” Wedge laughed. “Yeah… Effective use of military equipment.” Biggs rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re one to talk, Biggs! Remember what you made her do?” The other soldier gave a remorseful sigh… “I’m starting to remember, yes.” “Anyway, it was a pretty unique situation. It’s not every day that we have a loyal li’l ‘soldier’ all our own!” Wedge grinned as he added, “She really made the time in that tent fly by!” Biggs hummed… then, he sighed. “That mission… wasn’t one of our finer moments.” “Yeah… yeah, I guess not, huh? Between losing our pants and losing the phantom beast, it was a pretty big wash. But, hey.” He smiled at his partner. “‘least we made it out alive.” The other soldier smiled in return. Wedge had a point…

“Wonder if General Kefka found out where that girl went?” “Doesn’t matter, at this point,” the taller man told the shorter. “It’s out of our hands.” “Yeah, but…” Wedge rubbed the back of his neck. “It’d be nice to know that she’s alright.” “I seem to remember saying something about not getting attached to military property…?” “Biggs… the more I remember about that mission, the more I recall…” He sighed. “What a babe that lady was…! Man, I can’t believe I ever forgot! I so in love!” Biggs narrowed his eyes. A moment later, he suggested that they turn in for the night. “Yeah, a’right.” The other man shrugged. “G’night, then?” “Mm.” With that, Wedge doused the lantern situated on the table in the center, then settled down and tucked himself into his bedroll. Not long after, he fell asleep.

“Gooooood morning, Imperiaaal Caaaaamp!!”

The following morning, both Biggs and Wedge scurried out of their sleeping bags, the duo stumbling outside at the crack of dawn. Someone – “some loudmouthed idiot,” as Wedge put it – was on the speaker system… which, neither of them even knew the camp had… and, was in the process of making a series of announcements. Once that was done, they could hear music playing through the system… which, they had to admit, kind of lightened the mood.

“Standard-issue military rations! Yum-yum!” After getting dressed in his gear, Wedge sat outside the tent, situated on the sandbags that surrounded the small rise where he’d set their tent. “What’d your mom pack for you, Biggs?” he asked as took a pin-key to a tin. “Standard-issue military rations,” was his friend’s response as he did much the same. “Mine’s meat-flavored and it comes with some cocoa!” the first man said, his voice light and high as he imitated a child’s. “Mine is… uh… the same, I think?” “Wanna trade?” Biggs gave a blink, then stared at his partner. He was smiling. After a long pause… “Yeah, alright.” The two exchanged their perfectly-identical meals, then dug in.

“This is the life,” Wedge said after a few bites, “eh, Biggs?” “What do you mean?” the other man asked. “Going out on missions… seeing exotic locales… eating exotic food…” Biggs looked into his tin. He was pretty sure the ration was well past its prime… “Life is great!” Wedge finished with a radiant smile. “Alright, I’ll bite… Why are you in such a good mood, this morning?” “Jessie and I had a little date, last night!” he said, surprising his companion. “Really…” Biggs said in disbelief. “Here? During a mission?” “What can I say?” The other man grinned. “I’m a bad influence! Besides… she helped get my mind off that witchy woman I remembered I loved! I– aww, dammit.” The other soldier just rolled his eyes from underneath his helmet.

“Seriously, though…” Wedge paused as he looked over to the flowing river. “This place is pretty peaceful. There aren’t a huge amount of monsters around, the air is nice, and the water is crystal-clear! Oh, by the way! I filled your canteen after I got back, last night.” Biggs was quick to unscrew his water flask and give it a sniff. When he didn’t notice any particular aroma, he took a sip. A second later, he went wide-eyed under his helmet. “Oh…” he whispered. “This water is so… pure! Cold, too!” “I know, right…?” Wedge laughed. “I felt kind of bad when Jessie convinced me to go skinny dipping in it.” His friend briefly considered spitting out his water… but, it didn’t taste like people had been splashing around in it, so he just gave his friend a smirk.

“So, you and Jessie are back on-track, are you?” he asked. When Wedge gave a nod, he hummed… “Ready to give up on that witch-girl?” “Let’s be honest: it’s an unrealistic goal,” he heard his partner admit. “Still… who says I’m crushing on Jessie, anyway?” “You went swimming with her. Naked,” he added after another sip. “Okay, okay, I could see how that might paint a certain kind of picture…” Wedge laughed.

“Really, though… I’m happy to see you in such good spirits.” Biggs looked over with a smile. “You’re usually more pessimistic and down on the military or the mission. Since starting this one? I’ve barely heard you complain even once.” “Well, now that you mention it… these rations suck!” he exclaimed with unexpected disdain. “Why, when I get back to Vector, I’m gonna walk right up to the guy who made these and go… ‘Hey. Thanks for the nourishing food. They don’t taste very good, but I know you’re just trying to keep us fed and alert, and I appreciate that. So, thank you.’” “That’s… I…” Biggs blinked… then, he smiled. “Oddball.”

Breakfast came to a sudden end as, not long after that exchange, the commander could be heard barking orders over the public address system. Minutes later, Biggs, Wedge, and the rest of the camp were back onto the grind as the black-armor military man and General Christophe set out on a diplomatic mission to Doma.

“Boy, some guys get all the easy jobs, huh?” Wedge grinned as he hammered away at a cross-beam. He and Biggs had the “prestigious” honor of erecting a guard tower at the western bank of the land bridge. “I doubt this will be an easy task,” Biggs told him as he steadied the wooden structure. “I’ve heard that Doma is strongly opposed to the Empire’s goals. General Christophe has his work cut out for him, today.” “If anyone can convince an entire nation to change their mind, it’s him!” “You really think so?” the taller figure asked with genuine curiosity. “General Leo’s pretty awesome!” was his shorter friend’s response. “I bet by tomorrow night… we’ll be back on the ship and heading to Vector!” “That’s… strangely optimistic of you.” Biggs smiled as he added, “I certainly hope so.” With that, the two turned there focus to erecting the guard tower. –––––

“Doma refuses to ally themselves with the Gestahlian Empire… which, unfortunately, means that we must prepare for war. Gird your loins, steel your resolve, and pray to whatever gods you believe in… This will not be easy, but remember: you are not alone. Your families are with you in spirit, your country wholeheartedly believes in you, and the whole of the Gestahlian Empire’s might is behind you, as proud of you are you are to serve us. “I cannot promise that this will be a bloodless war. I cannot promise your safety. But, I can promise that we will do everything in our power to provide you with the greatest technological and tactical advantages possible. With good fortune and the blessings of those who silently watch over us, we may see this war end before too many casualties are had – on either side. War is a senseless act, but sometimes… a display of force is all one can do sway a group or nation to the greater good. Just remember: you are not a disposable commodity. Every single one of you is a human being… one with hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Be aware of yourselves and each other, and strongly consider your alternatives before doing anything drastic. Men? Do your country proud and serve the Empire with grace and honor. Thank you.”

The entire camp burst into uproarious applause as General Christophe walked away from the radio system and headed through the motor pool toward his private tent, his words stirring their hearts and encouraging them to bravery and valor. That night, every soldier went to bed with his words ringing in their ears and giving them comfort. Every soldier… except for one.

“I thought I might find you out here…” Wedge sat alone, staring up at the stars in the sky from his newly-christened “thinking spot” – the sandbags right outside the tent’s entrance. When he heard the familiar voice of his partner call, he looked over and offered a smile… but, no words. “A Gil for your thoughts?” Biggs suggested as he sat next to Wedge. “Keep your money,” he chuckled. “My thoughts aren’t worth even that much.” “I’ll be the judge of that.” When he heard his friend chuckle, he gave another smile… then, he sighed.

“Okay, so…” he started, “you know that speech General Leo gave, today? The one about ‘being brave’ and how our ‘country is proud of us,’ and stuff?” “Yeah?” “Well, as inspiring as he was trying to be… his speech, well…” He gave a slight pause before confessing, “It didn’t do much for me.” “Are you saying you don’t want to die for your country?” “Biggs,” he sighed, “you know I’m originally from Kohlingen…” “That… was supposed to be a joke, partner.” “Oh.” The two fell into an awkward silence, then. At least… for a little while.

“No,” Wedge eventually told his friend. “I don’t really want to die for ‘my country.’ I– I mean, yeah, I guess if I were still living in Kohlingen and someone came rolling in, trying to take us over… I would be willing to lay my life down? But… this thing with Doma? And, that thing with Narshe? H-hell, that thing with Narshe wasn’t even supposed to be a combat mission! Those idiots turned it into one – and, for what?!” He punched both sides of his sandbag seat and scowled, glaring straight forward. “We wiped out their militia with our Magitek Armor! We killed their trained whelk! And… and, we didn’t even get the damn phantom beast…” Wedge shook his head… then, he looked at Biggs with a frown. “What’s it all for, partner?” he asked in a quiet voice. “What’s it all gonna lead to? What’s the Emperor gonna do when he has the entire world in his hands? When will all this fighting just… stop…?” “I think you answered your last question with the one before it,” Biggs chuckled.

“Okay, sure. Fine. Emperor Gestahl takes over the world and everything is under his control. So… what if not everyone’s alright with that? Rebel groups form, then we, the Empire, wipe ‘em right out! Then, more people rebel and the Empire wipes them out! Where does it all end, Biggs? Like… at what point do people just… give up? Never!” he shouted, preventing his friend from answering. “It’s an endless cycle of violence… and, we’re just fanning the flames by attacking people we can’t get on our side with words, alone… It sucks…” “Er… partner…?” Biggs blinked… then, he frowned. Wedge had pulled his helmet off and hidden his face behind his gloved hands. He’d worked himself into a frenzy and quiet tears seemed to be the only way he could calm back down.

“Wedge… I… don’t have any easy answers,” his partner told him. “‘War is hell,’ as someone much more eloquent once said… but, sometimes? When words utterly fail? Sometimes, violence is necessary.” “Oh, get a freaking clue, man!” Biggs gave another blink. Wedge had pulled his hands away and was staring right at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one, Biggs?” he said with controlled anger. “Don’t you get it? We’re the bad-guys, here! We’re trying to shove our agenda onto people who want nothing to do with us! We’re the bullies and Doma… Figaro… everyone is our victim! We’re just gonna push ‘em all ‘til they either completely submit, or… or… fight back, tooth-and-nail! A lot’a people are gonna get hurt, man… a lot’a people have already been hurt! And, it’s just gonna keep gettin’ worse-and-worse… Why does the Empire even want to control the world…? That’s a lot’a work for just one nation… just one leader… I don’t get it…”

Biggs didn’t know what to say, to that. He knew Wedge was completely right… but, for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to say so. Instead, he decided to ask a question…

“Wedge?” he called, looking at the man who was looking at the moon. “Why did you join the Imperial Army?” “What?” Wedge chuckled, rubbing his eyes and giving an uneasy smile. “What do you mean? I joined because my parents kicked me out when I turned 16.” “So, you joined the Imperial Army because they wanted you to get a job?” “My dad…” The man looked down before starting, again. “My dad served in the army before I did. When he got old, he retired to Kohlingen with my mom. His heart belongs to my mom… but, his soul belongs to the Empire…” “What do you mean, ‘his soul belongs to the Empire?’” Biggs inquired. “His dad made him enroll when he was 16 – just like my dad made me enroll when I was 16. Unlike Dad, though… I never really wanted to join the army.” “So, why did you?” “Why else?” He chuckled. “I wanted to make my old man proud.” “Do you think he’d be proud of you, right now?” “I think he’d call me a pansy for crying about doing my job.” Wedge squirmed, looking away with that same nervous smile. “But… he’d be proud that I haven’t given up, I guess?”

“Wedge… If you weren’t in the army,” Biggs began, deciding to go a different route with his inquiry, “what would you want to do?” There was a long pause before Wedge finally answered, “I don’t know.” “Is that why you’ve stuck with the army for this long?” “Probably…?” He paused, again. “Look, man, where are you going with this?” Biggs gave a blink. Wedge was half-glaring at him, still with wet eyes. “I’m just saying… if you’re not happy with serving the military… why not just quit?” “Because…” He looked away, again. “I’ve done this for so long, I… I don’t think I’d know how to do much else.” “Is that so?” When Wedge gave another nod, Biggs asked, “You seem pretty handy with a hammer… And, I’ve seen you repair your body armor pretty easily.” “So? Those are just things I’ve picked up since serving.” “Plus, you seem to have a silver tongue when it comes to merchants…” “Again, just skills I’ve picked up since serving… Besides.” The sad man paused to rub his nose. “I can’t make a job out of haggling.” “I wouldn’t be too sure about that… Regardless, you have plenty of skills that have real-world application.” Biggs offered a smile as he listed off, “Armor repair, carpentry, negotiation… I’ve even seen you fix up simple machines, in your spare time! In fact… if you combine carpentry with your machine skills, you could go into business as a clock-maker, or music-box-maker, or something along those lines!

“I guess my point is that… you have plenty to offer, Wedge. And, if you’re truly miserable in this man’s army… if you really don’t believe what we’re doing is ‘right…’ if you want to walk away from all this, then… go ahead. If you’d like… I’ll even come with you.” “You’d… come with me?” Wedge asked, sounding as surprised as he looked. When he saw Biggs give him a nod, he gave a light chuckle… then, he looked away, bringing his hands together and going silent. It seemed like he had a lot on his mind. At least… until he spoke.

“I’m not quitting the army,” he said after a long while. “You don’t want to quit?” Biggs asked, sounding surprised, himself. “Honestly…? It’s not so bad, here.” Wedge looked up with a smile. “I mean, they give us room-and-board for free… They give us a fairly decent stipend for equipment and extras… Plus, girls seem to like the uniform, for some reason.” “It’s the lightning bolt on the helmet,” his partner jokingly suggested. “Sure… we may have to bust some heads and throw our weight around… but, if people were smart, they’d get with the program and join the winning side, already! Because… clearly… the Gestahlian Empire is gonna win this war and every other one that follows! Just like always!” “Do you truly believe that?” “Partner…” Wedge grinned at his friend. “The Empire is too big to fail.” “The bigger they are…” Biggs started to say… “Excuse me? What’s this treasonous talk about?” “‘T-treason…?’” He seemed taken aback… “Are you saying you don’t believe in the Empire?” the other man asked in a playful tone. “Are you saying that we’re gonna fail? Are you, in fact, suggesting that we… gasp… lay down and let other nations just walk all over us?” “N… no, of course not. I–” “General Leo! Commander Garven! We have a traaaitor in our midst!” “Sh– sh-shut up, Wedge!”

Biggs leaned over, putting a hand over his partner’s mouth. When he felt something touch the palm of his hand, he drew back and looked… then, he gave his friend a curious glance. “Did you… really just lick my glove?” Wedge was flicking his tongue and rubbing his mouth on his arm. “Tastes like leather!” he said with a grin. “You’re a crazy bastard, Wedge.” “Yeah, but…” The soldier nudged himself a little closer. “I’m yooour crazy bastard, Biggs.” “Oh… c’mere, you fruitcake.”

The formerly-sorrowful soldier laughed and brightly smiled as his partner wrapped his arms around him, then returned the favor, half-snuggling into the inviting embrace. He always liked getting Biggs to hug him – Biggs gave the best hugs! Not long after, he leaned back. “Hey, Wedge,” he started. “All this deep thinking that you’re doing? What sparked it?” “Jessie ditched me,” he chuckled. “Saw her leavin’ the ‘cadets tent.’ D-don’t tell her!” “I knew it,” the other soldier laughed. “And, I won’t.” “Thanks, man.” Wedge shyly smiled. “For… everything.”

#fan fiction #Final Fantasy VI #Mortem In Contumeliam #commercial characters #Imperial Commander #Imperial Soldier #Wedge #Biggs #Jessie #Leo Christophe #fantasy #slice of life

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sammgreer · 7 years

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Mass Effect Andromeda - Review

Despite being a huge fan of the original games, I wasn't expecting too much from this. I felt they had concluded nicely and the universe didn't really seem suited for new stories. How could anything compare to Commander Shepard and crew's fight against the Reapers? On top of that Bioware's last game Dragon Age Inquisition, whilst enjoyable, was mired in the tedium of open world fetch quests and busy work. So when Andromeda marketed its massive worlds and seemed to emphasise combat over the kind of storytelling that had made the originals so successful, I was very cautious.

But against all the odds I really enjoyed Mass Effect Andromeda. A lot. It has numerous flaws, it's a bit of a mess but in reaching for new heights it manages to breathe life into a setting I had convinced myself was finished. Make no mistake though, compared with modern RPG heavy weights like The Witcher 3, Mass Effect Andromeda is a rougher, less elegant game. However it is a lot more accomplished than it may seem.

Its relation to the original games is pretty irrelevant, Andromeda wisely adopts a clean break from that trilogy by removing its story completely from that setting and time. We play as Ryder, part of an initiative to establish colonies in the distant Andromeda galaxy. Cryogenically frozen we awake over six hundred years after leaving the milky way.

Andromeda doesn't put its best foot forward. Instead of introducing us to a thrilling new galaxy, it spends the opening hours introducing a host of characters, many of whom won't reappear after this introductory mission. Those who will are your human companions, also the game's flattest or most irritating characters. The mission itself is a closed, linear affair that deprives you of many of the interesting features that define the majority of the game. It is also where we're introduced to the game's antagonists, the Kett. This initial counter devolves too quickly into gunfire and violence. No mysterious first contact, just a perfunctory introduction to the games cannon fodder. Whilst they're fleshed out later, they never really rise to be more than “the baddies”, fanatics with an inherent hostility. Filling the need for foes in an action driven RPG is fine but something more inspired would have gone a long way.

Once this dull setup is complete you're handed a ship, the sleek Tempest and set loose. It takes a while to unlock all the game's expansive worlds but even on the first, there's lots of sights to see and discoveries to make. Whilst there's also a lot of busy work, the stream lined quest structure means few feel like a chore. Most important of all, the mechanics that make up your time are so enjoyable.

Combat is something you'll be doing quite a bit of, though it felt like it made up a lot less of the experience than the action heavy Mass Effect 2/3. Where their combat was fairly bog standard third person shooting with a sprinkling of interesting powers, Andromeda's combat is a genuinely brilliant affair. The large environments have encouraged Bioware to move away from tight linear corridors and instead emphasise movement to go toe to toe with enemies. Using Ryder's jet pack we can leap not just into the air but also horizontally, combining both movements, till you're zipping between cover and enemies with a pace that almost feels like Bloodborne in the form of a third person shooter. It's remarkably inspired for a series where the combat always felt functional rather than exemplary.

A lot of time will be spent behind the wheel of the Nomad, a space rover and slick re-imagining of the original game's clumsy Mako. This coupled with the jet-pack platforming makes navigation simple but very enjoyable. It helps too that the planets you visit, whilst not spectacularly alien, are pretty stunning with some cracking vistas. Views from your ship as you travel between worlds are also frequently spectacular, reflecting your chosen location on the Galaxy Map. There's variety too, not just visually but in the types of terrain and hazards. I was happy to seek out more quests in spite of some so-so design because I like spending time in this world. One memorable moment came about on a planet with a dangerous, scorching heat where I couldn't find a way to get the rover through a canyon. So I crossed a huge desert flat on foot, dashing between boulders and the shade to recover life support. It was a small moment but gave a thrill to exploration that many similar games lack.

The purpose of all this exploring is to establish outposts on worlds. First you have to make each world viable for colonists, by activating ancient alien structures belonging to an absent civilization the “Remnant” and terraforming the world. These ruins are still cared for by automated machines and they were my favourite among the foes, with distinct classes and behaviours in their ranks. Once you've established a colony and raised the viability of the world, new areas open up for you to explore so that this act of terraforming feels like more than just ticking off a box. It helps too that all this busy work is, unlike Inquisition, entirely optional and the player is free to pursue the main quest as they wish. Though doing so will change how the game's finale plays out, with decisions from various side-quests coming to play in the conclusion.

Of course it's here that Andromeda stumbles, drawing as it does on unsavoury colonialism. Whilst there's some acknowledgement throughout of the issues of colonising alien worlds, including an optional rebuttal against colonialist interests near the end, the game never goes far enough in confronting the implications there-in. It's far more interested in being a thrilling space adventure and to that end it succeeds but as a piece of thoughtful science fiction, it's muddled at best.

But what of the things Mass Effect is renowned for? Well the main story isn't up to much. It's mostly fine, enjoyable and kept me engaged to the end but there's nothing remarkable about it. You go up against some baddies, you give them a thrashing, the end. There's some nice conflicts between the cast and various factions as well as some big exciting set-pieces at key points but the narrative's main thrust is fairly tried and tested. It works well but it isn't great.

The companions that make up your ship's crew on the other hand manage to measure up to the iconic members of the Normandy team. Whilst I doubt they'll go on to become as beloved as the cast of the originals, they're nonetheless mostly well written and developed with a care that's much richer than the previous titles. Rather than merely prompting them for exposition until reaching the requisite loyalty missions, you end up much more involved with a series of missions leading to something more substantial .There's also a great implied life to them, you get the feeling the crew exists when Ryder's not around. They chat between themselves on board the Tempest and when on missions, giving hints of their relationships with each other. Peebee and Drack were the stand outs for me and the chatter between them on missions regularly put a smile on my face.

Even most of the core supporting cast are engaging, with some good performances from Natalie Dormer and Kumail Nanjiani, imbuing their roles with welcome nuance. The minor NPCs that litter the world are far less compelling and the further you go from the main cast, the worse and more tiresome the writing becomes. The biggest flaw with the writing is consistency, with plenty of moving scenes and memorable moments but also plenty of clunky exposition, awkward emoting, especially in the game's opening hours. Hindered too by the already much discussed facial animations which are it must be said mostly a step-up for Bioware but are sadly quite behind most of the competition. Though there's nothing quite as lifeless as the likes of Deus Ex Mankind Divided either.

Perhaps the most surprising member of the cast is Ryder. Playing as either sibling, Scott or Sara (as a nice touch you get to customise both and the other plays a part in the story), Ryder comes across as a younger, more flawed and ultimately more human lead than Commander Shepard. Shepard was always an icon, a hero the galaxy could rally behind. People doubt Ryder throughout and they too seem to doubt themselves, able to show vulnerability. Fryda Wolff and Tom Taylorson voice Ryder in a way that more than lives up to the legacy of Jennifer Hale and Mark Meer.

Thankfully the binary paragon and renegade split in dialogue choices is gone so instead we can much more freely move between various tones and options. This allows you to give Ryder a dynamism that wasn't available with Shepard, where instead consistency was much more greatly rewarded. Neither is Ryder swinging between “good” and “evil”. You feel like you can be rude, cheeky and smug yet still able to make the smart, noble call when the moment calls for it. I had a lot of fun as Ryder, I made her brash, cocky but also deeply uncomfortable with her responsibility. In the end I'm much more attached to her than I was Shepard.

In her boots I got to have fun and an optimistic tone is refreshing after Mass Effect 3. The trilogy's final part is still a standout game but I never quite appreciated how wearying the tone of it was till I got to Andromeda. Here your journey isn't a burden, it is an adventure. It lacks the stakes of Shepard's story but it's also freeing. I felt invigorated when the story came to a close and I'm surprised to find myself keen to spend more time with Ryder and company.

Minor complaints that I found myself able to easily overlook might prove more irritating for others. The user interface for instance often feels needlessly convoluted, with important options buried in menus separate to where they could be more readily relevant. Having to run around the ship to check different menus at different locations, all to see how much of one resource a new blueprint requires is bothersome. There's a also still at this point a lot of bugs in the game though none I experienced were game breaking.

My biggest complaint might seem inconsequential to some but for me the lacklustre score is a real sore point given the memorable themes of the original trilogy. The game's main theme is pleasant enough but so much of the score fails to make an impression. It's effective in creating a suitable atmosphere but it's telling that my favourite piece of music in the game is the reworked galaxy map music from the original trilogy. If Bioware intend to follow this up with sequels, they might want to find stronger music to define this new galaxy and give its cast a stronger identity.

Compared against the titans of the last few years Andromeda feels as much an unwelcome underdog as Ryder does, struggling to find a place in a new galaxy. How much fans of the series will enjoy this new entry will largely depend on just what it was about the previous games that they liked best. There is still compelling characters and an enjoyable plot but there's no Virmire or Curing the Genophage to propel it skyward. Yet there is a consistent thrill of exploration, of small scale drama and neat discoveries. If you want to feel like the hero in a battle against godlike machines, then there's nothing so compelling here. But if you want to feel like a scrappy space adventurer, getting lost in a expansive galaxy with some baddies at your heels, Andromeda is frequently thrilling.

I loved it far more than I ever expected to and though any recommendation comes with a warning of its numerous flaws, I nonetheless endorse it wholeheartedly. Andromeda's too much fun not to.

#Mass Effect #mass effect trilogy #mass effect andromeda #scifi #science fiction #video games #videogames #review #pc #bioware #ea #Ryder #Shepard #Tempest #Peebee #Adventure #colonialism

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