#i love jermaine so much he's like top 5

[corndog-patrol]

brothers

#i love jermaine so much he's like top 5 #adventure time #jake the dog #finn mertens #jermaine the dog

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17/02/2024 (Beyoncé, VULTURES 1)

For a seventh week, Noah Kahan stays strong at #1 with “Stick Season” - but it’s Bey season and Ye season… no, those words don’t rhyme, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Welp, as always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the top 75 and a peak in the top 40, and this week, we bid adieu to: “HISS” by Megan Thee Stallion (that was quick), “Gas Me Up (Diligent)” by Skepta, “Feather” by Sabrina Carpenter, “When We Were Young (The Logical Song)” by David Guetta and Kim Petras, “Surround Sound” by JID featuring 21 Savage and Yung Baby Tate, “Northern Attitude” by Noah Kahan, “Runaway” by Ye featuring Pusha T, “Can’t Catch Me Now” by Olivia Rodrigo, “Is it Over Now?” by Taylor Swift, “Black Friday” by Tom Odell, “Agora Hills” by Doja Cat, “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski and finally, “Baddadan” by Chase & Status and Bou featuring IRAH, Flowdan, Trigga and Takura. Yeah, bit of a bloodbath here.

You know, we actually have barely any returns or gains as a result of the influx of 13 new songs, so we have some vague post-GRAMMYs impact and that’s kind of all, with it mostly being in our returns - “Coal” by Dylan Gossett at #73 (probably not GRAMMYs), “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #71 and on a much more positive note, Tracy Chapman’s classic original version of “Fast Car” all the way at #38. It first charted at 1988 and peaked at #5 (when Glenn Madeiros’ schmaltzy “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You” was #1) and then returned in 2011 and peaked at #4, when… “Party Rock Anthem” was #1. This won’t last or peak nearly as high, but it improves the net quality of the chart for the time it’s here. As for the gains, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #57 and “Home” by Good Neighbours at #34. Yup.

As for our top five, we see Mr. YG Marley creep in maybe in part to his grandfather’s documentary as “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” is at #5. Then “Lose Control” by Mr. Teddy Swims is at #4, “Beautiful Things” by Mr. Benson Boone is at #3, “Murder on the Dancefloor”by Sophie Ellis-Bextor breaks my gag at #2 and finally, Noah is building his seven-week ark at #1. Now our real stories, of course, are in our influx of new entries, many of which are pretty damn high and have exceedingly more to talk about than I wish they did, so I suppose let’s start rounding those off.

New Entries

#64 - “ONE CALL” - Rich Amiri

Produced by Rio Leyva and Zuko

Now, I am not familiar with Rich Amiri, which is a pretty generic rap name all things considered so for all I know, I’ve listened to his mixtape, but I am familiar with some of his producers. Rio Leyva has credits across a lot of recent pop-rap mainstays like Lil Tecca, The Kid LAROI and even Yeat, and he tends to produce in a style many would say is rage-adjacent… so it makes sense that this is a rage song, with some genuinely wiry, menacing leads in the synths and a dirty, factorial trap skitter. The song’s barely two minutes, so it doesn’t really give Mr. Amiri much time to even finish his one verse, which is full of personality-void Auto-Tune and mindless repetition, but he isn’t exactly derivative of any specific person, it just sounds like he hasn’t figured out his exact voice yet, which is expected with up-and-coming rappers. The content obviously isn’t worth speaking of - it’s just flexing and violence and sex all delivered pretty plainly - but he’s not the worst at it? I don’t know, this is great production but I feel like there are rappers who could make this pop out a bit more. Maybe 454, SoFaygo, someone with a high-pitched squawk to make this feel dynamic? If you still want to go for relentless cool, get Thouxanbanfauni on the remix and this could be a slam dunk.

#62 - “Made for Me” - Muni Long

Produced by Jermaine Dupri, Bryan-Michael Cox and JordanXL

“Hrs and Hrs” is not a song I remember much at all let alone fondly, but the voice behind Muni Long is Priscilla Renea, a very prolific songwriter, so I imagine that with Jermaine Dupri on the boards, there could be some R&B wizardry to make her chances at a second hit much more solidified. As for if I like it or not, well, I can see it being a hit considering the 2000s throwback sound with the classy (yet almost basic-sounding) pianos, even down to the groove and the incessant sound effect that’s a bit distractingly loud in the mix, but by the end of the song, you almost forget it’s there and think it would sound weird if it wasn’t. Even if I generally like this song, I don’t really think it fits the song too much, which is about finding your soulmate and… NOT losing them. There should be some grandiosity to this, especially with that powerful voice and chorus, but it feels a bit lost in its own attempt to be “cool”, which… I don’t know, will it be a theme this episode? Probably not, but the first two songs definitely share the element of just not going far enough with good ideas. This is still a solid tune, though.

#60 - “Dance Alone” - Sia and Kylie Minogue

Produced by Jesse Shatkin and Jim-E Stack

Sia. Kylie. Two pop stars of very, very different prepositions but ultimately in the same niche. I have no hopes for anything Sia does, pretty much, never liked her, but what else would I have to say at this point? Her songs produce so little analysis from me because a lot of the time, it’s just kind of immediately obvious what will happen and what I’ll think. There are painfully basic vocal melodies, very typical disco-house beats, and Sia tries to actually play down the hamming but lets her natural characteristic of her voice end up preventing her from doing so because, well, that’s just how her voice sounds. A “subtle” Sia is just an awkward fit, and she may be trying that on purpose so she doesn’t put off pop listeners, but it just results in her being completely outclassed by Kylie, who eats this up as expected. That little “woo!” in the pre-chorus is to live for, as is the “(dance)” ad-lib in the final chorus, but by the time we’re in the “bridge” (see: the post-chorus again, same phrase repeated ad nauseum), Sia’s clipping in the mix again and nothing sounds like it cares about me caring, so I’m not caring. It’ll go hard in the Mumsnet forum voice chats. Do they have those? They should have those.

#55 - “Birds in the Sky” - NewEra

Produced by Karl Durkan and Ben Williams

Okay, I’ll bite: Who are NewEra? Well, according to Genius, they’re an EDM production duo from Dublin and this track from last year is their only song to appear on streaming, yet it’s released on Warner interesting. Either way, it’s clearly blown the Irish duo up a bit, so there must be some merit and well, the sample - wherever it’s from, I genuinely can’t find it - is about as weirdly mixed as they always are on these piano-led EDM cuts, but it doesn’t stick out too much amidst the more typical trance grooves and very basic, almost preset-sounding drums that lead into a constant anticlimax, leading the pianos and barely impactful drop sound like they’re teasing you into a false sense of confidence that the song is at all moving. It damn well works though, it’s pretty hypnotising, so when I was lulled into the drumless glitching section where the cheap pianos actually build up to a pretty good pounding drop, I was thoroughly immersed. These guys have done something right.

#50 - “Make You Mine” - Madison Beer

Produced by Madison Beer and Leroy Clampitt

Madison Beer is one of those ostensible “pop stars” that don’t exactly make innovative, experimental or often even interesting music but still exist only on the peripheries of the mainstream, many of which eventually get some kind of breakout chart hit, and this might just be Ms. Beer’s… well, if this is supposed to convince me on the personality and character of Madison Beer, I am not impressed at all, she doesn’t sound interested in developing that. If it’s supposed to convince me on her production ability… yeah, I’m hopping on this train. This is incredible. My comment on her vocal performance is not a detracting remark of the song, her emotionally confused, at times static and always intimate vocal take adds a lot of depth to the intense, but more accurately hallucinatory sensuality of the song. There’s a lot of staccato repetition, sure, I mean, it’s deep house, but it’s all a luring act as you can “slip inside her mind” (sure), against the warped synth basses, echoed and fuzzy vocal production, mesmerising synths that are incredibly well panned and mixed - the sound design is immaculate, and that’s not even mentioning the incessant groove or one of the catchiest nonsense hooks in pop of recent years. The drop barely registers as such, it feels like a natural climax that the song just slides into, despite all the little intricacies in both the build-up and the catharsis that transform the song into a fizzling journey of sexy club-pop that goes a lot harder in the details that I expected it to. I mean, the overdubbing of synth leads and curious glitches in the outro - nothing’s going to go exactly “wrong” in this hook-up, but it’s not where either expected to be… and for that night, it’s life-changing. I didn’t think I’d like this as much as I do but oh, my God, please make this a hit. ASAP.

#47 - “Heaven or Hell” - K-Trap

Produced by Nathaniel London, Jester Beats and Godwin Sonzi

Well, K-Trap’s back, this time without Headie One, and I guess this is his song for the ladies. There’s a swash of R&B keys, a Central Cee acoustic guitar - or an *NSYNC acoustic guitar relistening - and an actually interesting choice in making the drill hi-hats and really the rhythm section in general a bit papery, with a bass that feels mixed a bit too low yet still being relatively busy. K-Trap is just rambling misogynistically over all of this, and not just in a typical rap way, it’s a bit distracting and groan-worthy, but his comical delivery of some of this as well as the female spoken interludes kind of explain away his hypocrisy a bit. Not too effectively, of course, but it’s worth pointing out that it’s somewhat of a two-way street. I still find the soft percussion resemblant of sample drill pretty refreshing and enjoyable, I just wish maybe there was a more melodic presence of a rapper on it. Still okay.

#44 - “16 CARRIAGES” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Ink and Dave Hamelin

So, Queen Bey released two country-influenced songs on the Sunday - one’s in the top 10, the ballad is at #44. I will wait until this act two of RENAISSANCE is actually out before making any statements on Beyoncé doing country outside of that I hope she ends up shouting out or giving chances and/or feature spots to other Black women in that field, as a way of propping up that community within an industry that pretty flagrantly prevents that instead of just doing a genre switcheroo because she can and convincing nobody about anything systemic in the meanwhile. Hell, that’s more for me, personally, because I’d like to know a lot more Black country artists, and given that I’m obliged to listen to this album, I mean if you care about the genre, Bey, it’d be cool to point me in some directions. Not that it’s her job, but it would be a worthwhile light to shine especially since Beyoncé is both a hitmaker and a bit of a tastemaker.

As for the first of her country efforts though, this is a pretty heartfelt southern soul track that could almost act as a campfire song if not for Bey just not being in that zone as a singer, but it definitely has the clapped rhythm of one and some compelling lyrics regarding her time touring with Destiny’s Child. Now it’s less smoky than I’d really want a song like this to be, it doesn’t sizzle as much as it stagnates, particularly with that crash into the guitars and church organs that doesn’t really surge the way I so badly wanted it to. I do find the vocals excellent, the narrative interesting and still surprisingly relevant to her as a modern touring act as well, and the rapping is surprisingly well implemented, it feels just like she’s shooting the shit in the middle of her country storytelling song. In that regard, I’d like there to be a lot less grandiosity to the presentation, maybe do without the soaring overdubs or horns, make this more of an explicitly acoustic effort. I know it wouldn’t fit Beyoncé and all her harmonies and belting, as her presence isn’t always fit for minimalism, but she could pull it off. The problem with that would be is it doesn’t emulate the theatrics of a stage performance and the abrupt shock of showbiz being put onto her at an early age, so there’s some great mirroring there that almost makes up for me not being greatly into the actual sound of these tracks. Regardless, it does have me excited for the more solemn moments on this album, but we won’t be covering that until the end.

#37 - “Abracadabra” - Wes Nelson featuring Craig David

Produced by Mike Brainchild and Rndm Beats

CRAIG DAVID?! And it doesn’t appear to be a sample? The crowd says “bo selecta” indeed. Whatever about this Wes Nelson guy, he sounds like an AI amalgamated what every R&B singer has sounded like since the planes hit, or realistically, just Jeremih, but the beat is a rough-around-the-edges 2-step jam with harder bass than you’d think and some blocky space synths. It’s all very rote but it’s also Craig David and man, you can put however many filters on his voice, it’ll still sound like Craig David, and I can’t even seriously critique him anymore. I’m sure he’s a complex, nuanced human being with flaws and feelings but to me, he’s just an unexplainable deity figure. Also, there is a moment during the drop of this song - and the outro - where the beat cuts out for Craig David to say “Bruh”, and I just needed to point this out.

#31 - “Forever” - Noah Kahan

Produced by Noah Kahan and Gabe Simon

The Vermont singer-songwriter has released what appears to be the final deluxe edition of his #1 album Stick Season, subtitled “Forever”, henc ethe name of its sole original song. I’m honestly surprised this didn’t debut higher, but there is a lot debuting above it, and Kahan tends to have sleepers. Speaking of sleepers, I’m not really feeling this one as much. It’s got the wistful acoustics but it’s a lot slower in its pace, especially for its first half, which makes Kahan’s frail, nasal vocal that I’m still not that big on not nearly as ignorable, especially as it punctuates the lyrics so exactly and ends up making the harmonies, especially in the pre-chorus, somewhat haunting, which given the deterministic lovelorn lyricism, doesn’t seem to be the intention? It eventually picks up a nice little bluegrass-esque groove but nothing too far from an average Lumineers track in terms of just lacking bite and punch, whilst forcing Kahan to strain more than he needs to, to sell pretty resonant content.

#18 - “BACK TO ME” - Adolf Hitler and Ty Dolla $ign

Produced by Hitler, Ty Dolla $ign, 88-Keys, Wax Motif, AyoAA, Feez, Nic Nac and James Alex Hau

88-Keys, huh? Now, I’m not saying that Kanye West is Hitler, I’m just doing him a favour and comparing him to his idol. There are a lot of things that he loves about him. In a perfect world, I have the choice to completely ignore this album, especially since two of the debuts from VULTURES 1 (debuted at #2 on this week’s album charts) are considered widely to be the best tracks by both me and a lot of the fans, though I am a sucker for the darker, problematic last quarter that people don’t tend to like that much. I don’t want to admit that, of course, and I’m kind of torn between not feeding into exhaustive discourse by not mentioning any controversy and then feeling bad for not doing so because I’d be supporting his cult of fans who supposedly only care about the music, regardless of how his music is constantly reminding you of his controversies. It’s also not easy when you have two pretty damn good tracks from an album that largely consists of the man embarrassing himself and, well, Ty Dolla $ign, who sounds wonderfully smooth on this track and many others. He stands out particularly well over the punchy breakbeats and bass that entrench the mix. Hitler does embarrass himself as usual, but the minute-and-a-half Auto-Tuned quoting of an old comedy movie that he probably doesn’t even remember the rest of is an almost poetic reflection of where he is as an artist and a man. Oh, and Freddie Gibbs shows up to steal the show so effortlessly with his tightest, rapid flows I think I’ve heard from him in years, some excellent, topical wordplay that feels like it’s what the album wanted to be: playful and effervescent in its hedonism. He steals the show so much in fact that the song just ends after he does, he takes complete ownership. Nice one, Gibbs, do it on someone else’s album, for the love of God.

#17 - “BURN” - Adolf Hitler and Ty Dolla $ign

Produced by Hitler, Azul, Morten “Rissi” Ristorp, Chrishan, The Legendary Traxster and Leon Thomas III

This is just what this guy’s album used to sound like. We have a mid-album reminder that he can still do it, but only for two minutes, and half of that is Ty the Tasmanian Tiger over here carrying the album with his sloppily-mixed but still incredibly passionate and incessantly catchy chorus - I’ve had it in my head for the whole damn week, pretty much - over a very conventional, punchy chipmunk soul beat that lasts less than two minutes and it just ends up on a bittersweet note. The Hitler verse is his most coherent during the whole album, it’s pretty fun, it’s pretty traditional, not worth the attention paid. And neither is…

#12 - “CARNIVAL” - Adolf Hitler and Ty Dolla $ign

Produced by Hitler, TheLabCook, Ojivolta and Digital Nas

Now, thankfully, there really is nothing of value to cover here regardless of how and where you slice it. The song is like 60% Rich the Kid, which should show you how inspired the former GOAT has been lately. Hitler spends most of his verse just being cheaply transgressive for attention, pretty much explaining why I’m not a fan of prominent critics covering this album, dignifying it as more than an ego trip surrounded by yes-men. That’s not to say transgression can’t be art, there’s a lot of discussion to be had about the value of transgressions against the audience. And Hell, maybe a rage song about riding dick featuring Rich the Kid and Playboi Carti warrants that level of analysis, but that’s exactly what Hitler wants me to do here, and I’m not taking instructions from Hitler! I’m not following orders!

#9 - “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Killah B and Nathan Ferraro

Alright, this is just fun. I’m sure someone more equipped than me to talk about country than me will have a lot to say about this song, but I just got a kick out of Bey’s sultry voice, as always perfectly layered with energetic ad-libs and riffing, over that acoustic rolick and clearly programmed thumping production and generic country ambiance. You can tell that this isn’t produced by Nashville staples as much as it’s a semi-outsider attempt at fusing country with Beyoncé’s more natural pop and R&B territory, but it doesn’t detract from it being a sick groove about just having a lot of fun on the dancefloor, boogieing with somebody who makes you forget about everything that’s going wrong. That whistling post-chorus with all the traditional fiddle - if I’m getting that correct - in the background is such a cool little moment, especially with the panning that replicates the live hoedown feel. It absolutely feels much more like a costume party than “16 CARRIAGES”, but to be honest, I might prefer this one just because of how easily Bey dresses up in this particular set of clothes. That’s not derogatory either, she literally lists off “hoops, spurs, boots” in that gorgeous outro. I’m actually glad that such a large, potentially problematic but still full of music to discuss ends on such a delightful, carefree note. Love it.

Conclusion

It’s not getting the best, though, Best of the Week is going to… surprisingly enough, Madison Beer for “Make You Mine”, but Bey obviously grabs the Honourable Mention with “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM”. As for the worst, I mean… there is a song with Rich the Kid on this week. “CARNIVAL” is a shoe-in, but given this was actually a pretty great week in terms of overall quality, it’s difficult. I think I want to give it to K-Trap for “Heaven and Hell” but that’s really because it appears as the lazier, less interesting of the songs I wasn’t a fan of. On another day, it probably would have been Sia, but K-Trap doesn’t have a Kylie Minogue feature. Anyway, with all of that chaos out of the way, thank you for reading, rest in peace to country legend Toby Keith, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #ye #ty dolla $ign #beyonce #k-trap #rich the kid #playboi carti #freddie gibbs #madison beer #wes nelson #noah kahan #craig david #newera #sia #kylie minogue #muni long #rich amiri #vultures 1

[carolinablues-story]

Chapter 35 x Seen it all, Done it all.

Jermaine 

5 months later 

“Come on, we gone be late.” I stepped into the room, buttoning the top of my blazer. Zayn smirked, walking over to adjust my collar. 

“I’m ready, old man.” She stepped back, admiring me. I admired her in her long simple, black dress with the back out. She looked amazing. Tonight was big for both of us. We’ve decided to finally pop out tonight as whatever people want to think. And I decided to throw the biggest house warming party in the city. Paid access of course. 

It wasn’t easy, but about two months ago I finally found the perfect home. It was right outside the city of Charlotte and a close drive to the arena. It had six bedrooms, two dining rooms, two offices, a gym, and a spacious kitchen. Everything a wife would hope for. Gladly Zayn was able to help with the final decisions such as furniture. 

With me buying a house in another city, Zayn was now an hour away. Because of that I offered that she temporarily move in while they figure it out but she declined. She didn’t say it but my previous relationship scared her and left her wondering if Camryn still had a chance with me. 

Ever since we had a talk, we’ve been closer than ever. I didn’t want to run her away so I gave her access to everything including my card. She didn’t want it but her name was on it for emergency purposes. Zayn deserved love. I wanted her to have that. 

The love I had for Camryn had officially transpired into something I couldn’t explain. But Zayn…I can explain her. I can explain why I need her around. Why she became a shadow in such a short time. My heartaches thinking about how quickly everything changed but I was slowly letting go. It had been years with Cam, a year with Zayn felt like a lightweight. When we got together we were in our own world. Nobody exists and we still haven’t touched each other. Zayn lifted me. 

“What’s wrong?” Zayn crept into my thoughts. I shook my head and grabbed the keys.

“You look beautiful.” I kissed her forehead and pulled her by the hand out the door. 

Tonight was gonna be the night. 

Kay 

“She’s beautiful.” Tonight I finally met the second woman Jermaine has cared enough to allow me to meet. She was slender, slightly taller than Camryn and had a beautiful aura. It was like she screamed beauty. 

I didn’t want to tell Jermaine, but I still kept in contact with Camryn. We’ve gotten close and I’ve grown to love her. She’s down to earth and I learned quickly why my son loves her. I say love because I can tell he still loves Camryn. I can also tell he hasn’t touched the woman he’s introducing me to, otherwise they would be more fluid with each other. 

“Thank you,” the woman replied. I smiled at her and reached out my hand. She grabbed it delightfully, shaking my hand firmly. “I’m Azayn, but I got by Zayn.” She said to me.  

…Wow and she’s confident. This woman is alright in my book. I hate to be that mom that plays sides but I cannot stand here and front for no one including my son. 

“Kay.” I smiled and then looked at Jermaine. He had a concerned look on his face and I could tell he was confused considering how I was with Camryn. I wanted to be upset. I love my son and would enjoy more time with him. But how can I be mad when I see the reason he’s away so much. 

Let’s be frank Camryn wore sweats and looked like she just played a game of 21 when I met her. Zayn is dressed up with absolutely no makeup on and looks stunning. 

“How are you, Jermaine?” I asked him, choosing not to use my usual pet names for him. This caused another concerned look. 

“I’m good ma,” he pulled me into a hug. “Have you seen the house yet?” We were all standing outside for the most part, waiting for Jermaine to arrive. We didn’t expect him to show up with Zayn. And they looked amazing together stepping out of Jermaine’s car. 

“No, I want a tour.” I smiled at him. 

“Come on.” He grabbed my hand. “Zayn decorated so anything you don’t like you tell her.” Zayn laughed, swatting at Jermaine. Yep they’re in love too.  Just like Cam and Jermaine, it’s Deja vu. 

Zayn 

The night was going great. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Ms. Kay enjoyed every room that I decorated and we had a great conversation. Jermaine dipped off shortly after the tour to show some of his boys from the team his favorite spots in the house so far. 

Leave it to Jermaine to get a basketball court put into the gym. 

About an hour had passed and I had seen everyone that Jermaine took on a tour but I didn’t see him. Something wasn’t right to me and I could no longer enjoy the company I was keeping. I excused myself and went to look for Jermaine. 

I went the same pathway I saw him take asking a couple of guys along the way if they saw him. They all said the same thing: we thought he was with you. Shaking my head I continue down the hall. Turning right I begin to jog up the winded stairs. Once I reached the top I caught my breath before continuing on. 

“What are you doing here?” I heard Jermaine's voice. I couldn’t help but smile at how deep and sultry his voice was. I was getting ready to answer as I  crept towards the door with his voice behind it but I didn’t get the chance before I heard a familiar voice. 

“You think I wouldn’t be here for something big like this? I know how much you wanted your house…” I heard Camryn say to him. My heart beat loudly inside my chest as I stood out of eyesight but stayed in hearing range. The door was half opened and I could see Jermaine was towering Camryn but he kept space between them. 

“You can't be here.” Jermaine replied back. 

“Huh?” Her head cocked to the side in pure confusion. For some reason seeing how harsh he was turned me on. Even if it was just an act it felt good to know she probably can trust Jermaine based on this conversation so far. “You talking about Zayn huh? So y’all really together?” Yes I thought to myself. As of tonight actually. 

“Yeah,” my heart dropped to my stomach. I hadn’t heard him say it out loud to anyone, not even me. “We are and you gotta go cus I need her Cam.” What? 

“You need her? You’re Jermaine Cole. You don’t need anybody! You're turning to a simp!” Camryn yelled at Jermaine. Jermaine shook his head pacing back and forth. 

“I do need someone and it’s Zayn right now. I love you but I’ve had to move on and you should too. We’re not going to work like you said. I’m falling for Azayn and I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to.” By this time both Cam and I were crying. Tf am I crying for? 

“You fuck her yet?” She dryly chuckled. My chest winced at the question. Was he going to answer? 

“What we have is our business.” 

“Wow, Jermaine.” Camryn scoffed. “Your mom invited me. She said she could barely get you to answer and I see it’s the same old again. You're running to a woman when you should be running to ya mom.” 

“This is not a conversation we need to be having right now. Zayn could be looking for me. I got to go..” 

“Look, I don’t see how you can move on so easily!” Camryn yelled. I jumped back at the change in tone. Behind closed doors I could finally see for myself why Jermaine was still on the ground with his career. Camryn wanted him to be as small as her. She couldn’t grow with Jermaine. And that kept him stuck. 

“Camryn I do—“ 

“Jermaine!” I heard myself finally say. I missed my man and I needed him to console me. Especially after knowing I have nothing to worry about with Camryn. For now at least. I can trust Jermaine, it's her that I don’t trust. I made it seem like I had just come up the stairs. “I’ve been looking for you–” I pushed open the door to reveal myself to both of them. “Oh–” I gasped. Camryn smirked, hoping I would think it was more than what I heard. Conniving bitch. And to think I liked her in the past. This had nothing to do with my relationship with Jermaine, the way I heard her talking to him made me sick to my stomach. Did she always talk down to him? It left me wondering what Jermaine really thought of himself. He didn’t seem like the type to have low self esteem but now I  couldn’t tell. Why would he allow her to talk to him like that? 

“Wassup?” He walked over to me, examining my face. I smiled at him to let him know I was alright despite my heart racing. 

“You okay? You were gone for a while and I got lonely.” I laughed at how silly I sounded. Surprisingly he laughed as well, rubbing my arm gently as if we were the only ones in the room. Camryn cleared her throat when she noticed Jermaine hadn’t dropped his hand from my arm. We both turned to look at her. 

“I ran into Cam so I pulled  her up here to see what was up, right?” He asked Camryn. Camryn rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. 

“Whatever.” She spat. “Good luck with him.” She dryly chuckled before leaving the room. Jermaine quickly turned to me, grabbing my arm again. 

“You’re not mad are you?” He quickly asked me. I grabbed his hand into mine, pulling him into a hug, laughing at his nervousness. His body relaxed into mine when he realized I wasn’t tense. 

“Honestly, I heard most of the conversation and I couldn’t take it anymore so I stepped in, so I hope you’re not mad. Again, are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Jermaine sighed, dropping our hands. My arms landed at my side and he walked further into the office. “Zayn, I think I love you.” He said to me, and it felt like my heart stopped for a second. 

“I know I love you.” I responded. A tear slid down Jermaine’s cheek and he didn’t move away to wipe it. 

“How can I love two women at once?” He asked me, more tears falling down his face now. I sighed and walked over to him. I pushed back his desk and sat in his broad lap. It reminded me of my childhood days going to take pictures with Santa. Jermaine looped his arms around my waist and I rested my hands on his hold. “I’m scared I’ma hurt you.” 

“Jermaine, I just got divorced. Ain’t no hurting me. Just tell me when you don’t wanna love me no more and I promise I’ma be alright.” 

“Alright.” Jermaine sniffled, finally wiping his face in one swipe like he was playing during a game or something. Shaking my head  I started to get up but he pulled me back. I sighed, resting into his body.

“Promise me something else too while we are at it,” I finally spoke when I noticed he didn’t want to continue the conversation. He just wanted to hold me. 

“Anything.” He groggily replied. 

“You won’t cheat on me?” 

“Never in this life.” Jermaine promised. I smiled, crying with tears of relief. Being affirmed made me feel so good on the inside. Los never let me get this vulnerable with him. I could understand why it's so hard for Camryn to let go. “Come on lets get back before they think we fucking.” Jermaine stood up with me still in his arms. I gasped, for real, at the gesture. He hadn’t done this before and I couldn’t lie being so high up with him turned me on. It's giving daddy. 

Camryn

If I could pick a day, a time, a night to die, it would be tonight. Not only did I lose Jermaine, but I lost him to the very girl I didn’t ever want to see him with even if we weren’t together. Let’s not pretend, Los married Zayn for a reason regardless of his history of cheating. She gave wife material. Any man that wanted her knew she looked like the type that wasn’t going for nothing. I, on the other hand, gave ‘ride or die’. I was down for anything. Maybe I needed to change that. I literally pushed the man into her arms. 

She was beautiful and walked and moved with grace. Her face was so pretty and seemed smooth. Granted I was bad, but I was jealous. I know the type of woman Jermaine wanted. I was out of his league so him giving me the time of his day was a privilege. I blew it all over wanting to be able to afford him. 

Yes, I started seeing a therapist per Tanelle’s request. She said she grew to love me over the weeks, but she wasn’t licensed to properly deal with my emotions. Her ways were unhealthy and she didn't want to be that friend known for allowing crazy things to happen. Seeing a therapist helped me to get to the root of a lot of things. The main reason I was after having my own is because I hadn’t in the past. The other reason was because it was depressing being with a man you couldn’t buy the things he was buying you except with his own money. I was tired of that. I wanted to cash out on him and have him know it came from something I worked for. When I got here I was lost again. 

I didn’t tell him but the first few nights without him were hard. I cried every night and by night three, suicide ideation had evolved in my head. I didn’t act on it but it definitely lingers for nights like this. 

That’s why I put on this hard front when I got here and put so much space between us. I didn’t know it at the time, but my therapist, Dr. Linskey said that it was healthy what I did. I was going through something called separation anxiety but it had actually made me sick. I was now taking antidepressants and things were going up for me, including work. Though I wasn’t where I wanted to be, Tanelle helped to show me routes she would take if she were in my position as well as help me score some big clients. So far I had 50,000 I had saved up on my own. Feeling too attached to Jermaine, I recently got another condo closer to where Tanelle lives. Come to find out Tanelle lives in an upscale neighborhood. The lots are preplotted so most of the time you’re having all the say in the design of your new home. I wasn't quite ready for a commitment like that mentally, but I did deserve my own chosen space. This condo was spacious and had a great view of the city. It was quite romantic, and though I hadn’t even thought to start dating again, on some lonely nights the thought of being laid up crosses my mind. 

She also suggested I unfollow him but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Jermaine simply held a spot in my life no man can fill right now and that's how it's going to be. Finding out he's with Zayn hurts but I can give that some time. I do wish them the best, but I can tell by the way he was hesitant with me that he misses me and that he was choosing his words carefully. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He just wants to be happy and my baby deserves that. So if Zayn is giving him happiness I can sit back until we cross paths again. Call me delusional but that conversation was far from a door being closed. In fact, we had a lot of feelings to discuss but we’re both too stubborn to act on it. 

Finding my way over to Ms. Kay I walked over and took the empty seat beside her. She looked at me concerned, observing the sullen look on my face. 

“What's the matter?” She asked after a while. The party was starting to end, you could tell by the way people were slowly moving towards the door. That means we would be leaving too. This is supposed to be our house, I thought as tears began to well up in my eyes.  “Camryn?”

“We talked. “ I cried. Ms. Kay immediately stood up and pulled me into a hug. I cried into her chest as she rubbed my back and repeatedly told me over and over again that everything would be alright. 

“It didn’t go how you expected?” Ms. Kay asked me. I quickly shook my head and she sighed at my words. She still had hopes for us too. It was hard but after a while I finally reached out to Ms. Kay about two months after our breakup. Ever since then we talked almost every day, and if not at least once a week. We loved each other and found ways to bond outside of Jermaine. Kay always hoped for a time when she would have a daughter in law to bond with, since she didn’t have any daughters of her own. 

“Ma,” Jermaine called before I could speak. He was a little confused to see her hugging me but he didn’t speak on it. I wiped my eyes and stood up, avoiding his eyes. They were burning a hole through my head, but he had Zayn’s hand in his. “You wanna stay the night? I know you didn’t drive here and I don’t know how you would feel if I didn’t invite you, but you’re welcome to stay with us tonight.” Zayn shifted nervously beside him upon hearing him say “us”. What did he mean ‘us’? Were they already planning to live together?? Now he was just doing too damn much. I got something for that ass. 

“No, son. I’m gonna catch Camryn on the way out since we were just talking. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, ma.” Jermaine smiled at her. “You are grown, and besides I know yall love each other I wouldn’t want y'all not to.” I looked at Zayn again to see if she cared. Her face was a permanent poker face. She mastered hiding her emotions in the public eye. I needed to be like her. 

“Well good night, and it was nice meeting you again dear.” I watched as Ms.. Kay walked over to Zayn and hugged her before hugging Jermaine. I loved that Ms. Kay loved her son enough to be able to handle him moving on but still communicating with his ex. It said a lot about her character and I knew that I would hold a different spot than Zayn. Hell, I came before she could even be thought about. This is probably nothing to us. 

We’ll be back right in no time. We gotta be. 

Jermaine

Tonight was amazing. But I had one more goal I had to accomplish before I could toast to my new house. I sat up when I heard the water to the shower cut off. Zayn decided to take the late shower because her lactose ass couldn’t stop with the cheese crackers. She wanted to be sure everything was out of her system before  she showered and got comfortable. 

“Whatchu doin?” I asked her when I noticed she was slipping her now dry body into some sleep shorts, ready to pair it with whatever shirt of mine she felt like wearing tonight. 

“Putting clothes on, wassup?” 

“You didn’t hear me?” I asked her, knowing I hadn’t said anything. She smiled sweetly at me, finishing pulling up her shorts. Her breasts were still exposed. It's crazy we’re so comfortable around each other and still haven't had sex. Tonight that was about to change.

“No, what did you say?”

“I said….” I stood up, my rock hard member following me. Zayn's eyes widened. “I wanna make love to you…right now.” Zayn's eyes fluttered and I could tell I left her speechless. Yeah this was finna be a good ole time, I thought to myself as I walked over to her. She backed into the wall and I laughed. “Damn girl, just say no.”

“No–” I backed off, ready to put my clothes back on. “NO Jermaine. It's not that.” She pulled my arm back to stop me. “I’m just….scared.” 

“My bad, I forgot you damn near a virgin again.” 

“That's not funny Jermaine.” She rolled her eyes. 

“I’m just tryna lighten the mood, bae come here.” I pulled her to me. This time she was more relaxed. I rubbed her exposed back, pushing her chest into mine. Skin to skin felt amazing with her. Her breaths were rising as she anticipated my next move. I walked her over to my bed and laid her down. She looked up at me, that scared look still on her face. “Tell me when to stop, at any moment and I’ll stop.” I requested. She nodded, lying her head back and looking at the ceiling. Smirking, I got down on my knees and became eye level with her kitty. It was so pretty, and slightly moistened, you could see it. Though she may say she's scared, she has been waiting on this forever. She was desperate to know what I felt like. It had been years since she felt real sexual pleasure. She knew I wasn’t going to disappoint. 

I took a deep breath, pushing back my own nervous thoughts as I dived face first into her sex. She instantly jumped back and let out a whimper. I took my free hand and caressed her legs to relax her as I licked on her like I hadn’t had anything to eat. Zayn was sweet. I listened happily as Zayn moaned and cooed at my  actions. She was in heaven and this was just the beginning. Without any thought, I slipped two fingers into her. I almost forgot who I was fucking. 

“Oww.” Zayn pushed my fingers out. I laughed and sat up. 

“Damn girl.” I gasped. Zayn was soaking wet. “You wet as hell ... .what you scared of when you're dripping like a faucet?” Rolling her eyes she sighed and prepared herself for whatever is next. 

“Condom or no condom?” I asked her seriously. I knew we were both good but  I didn’t want to assume she was comfortable going all the way for our first time. I was prepared for either option and didn’t mind whatever she chose. 

“No condom is fine. I was with you when you went to get tested. I trust you.” I nodded and got on the bed, hovering over her. I guess missionary was only right for the mood I wanted to set. 

“Go slow.” She warned, I nodded again pushing slowly at her entrance. She grabbed both of my elbows bracing herself. Once I was inside good enough for my liking I began slowly stroking her. She felt amazing. Wet, soft, hot. Everything a nigga been needing in the moment. I wasn’t pussy crazy but some good consistent pussy drove a nigga crazy. 

I watched her face as I continued to stroke her. She was enjoying my every move. Moaning and gasping. 

“I think I’m finna cum…” She moaned after a few more strokes. I leaned down, kissing her collarbone. 

“Cum on your dick. It's official. You mine Zayn.” And with that she whimpered and her body began to shake under me. I watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and continued to ride her wave. Once she came down, she looked back up at me with teary eyes. 

“Thank you for that.” She cried. I kissed her tears before quickening my pace. Before you know it I was reaching my peak. I pulled out and finished in my hand. I panted, getting off the bed to go wash my hands. When  I was done I went back with a warm rag to wipe her off with. She smiled at me when I was finished as  I shot the rag into the hamper across the room. 

“Where is that during the game?” She laughed at me. I shook my head, laying beside her. 

“Cut it out, you know I am on my game most of the time…I don’t know what's been going on lately.” 

“I hear you.” Zayn rolled over onto her stomach. If she kept that up we would be having another round in just a second. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked her. Zayn looked at me, fluttering her eyes. I took that as a good thing. 

“Great, a huge relief has been lifted. I feel like I’m floating.” She replied, smiling at me before leaning her head up and placing a kiss on my lips. 

“I’m glad I could do that for you.” I spoke to her honestly. Zayn felt amazing. I couldn't lie. I wouldn’t mind doing it a little longer but I was fine. That’s how good it was. Plus all that moaning boosted a nigga ego. That would do it for any man. 

Open POV

Jermaine Cole And Azayn go public. 

The following spread were pictures of the couple last night at Jermaine’s housewarming. They looked like they were shocked to see the turn out. Every picture you could see the death grip he had on Zayn’s hand. Camryn’s jaw tightened as she scrolled through the article reading about the night's turnouts. Luckily she wasn’t reported having been there. If she had, it would have been embarrassing. 

Just as Camyrn was getting ready to finish packing so that she could catch her afternoon flight back to Cali, her phone  began to ring in her hand. She was shocked to be reading Jermaine’s name across the screen. She cleared her throat and answered the call. 

“Hello?” She spoke into the phone. 

“You still in town?” Jermaine's voice came through the phone. 

“I am. I leave around one in the afternoon.” Camryn told Jermaine. 

“Can we meet for lunch or whatever you want to do before you go?”Jermaine asked Camryn. Camryn’s heart began to pound. After just reading that article she was shocked to hear he wanted to go to lunch. She couldn’t get her hopes up though, she had to remember there were plenty of things left unsaid between them. 

“Cam?” 

“I’m here. Where do you want to meet?”

“I’ll send you the location. I’m about to head out in about 15 minutes, it's an hour drive so that gives you time to get ready…or you need more time?” Jermaine inquired, remembering how long it took to get Camryn ready sometimes. 

“An hour is more than enough time, and I can finish packing.” 

“Okay, see you in a lil bit.” Before Camryn could confirm he had hung up the phone. She shook her head then got up to get dressed. Once she was satisfied with not looking like she was trying too hard, she finished packing.She didn’t pack much since there was only a two day trip but she still brought a couple of choices with her usual needed outfits like night clothes. 

Shortly after she found herself scrolling, reading random posts on her phone until her phone vibrated in her hand. It was the location from Jermaine. She got up and slid on her Gucci slides.   

Within thirty minutes, Camryn was pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. She got out of the car, nervous for whatever was about to take place. Upon entering the restaurant she quickly spotted Jermaine. She waved at the hostess, then pointed at Jermaine. Camryn began walking towards him. 

“Hey,” she spoke once in ear range. Jermaine finished his conversation on the phone before standing up and pulling out Cam’s chair. “Thank you.” She said once she was seated comfortably. 

“No problem.” She noticed that he ordered them some water and quickly took a sip of hers after inserting the straw into the clear glass that was sweating with condensation. “So, I wanted to clear some things up and finish our conversation from last night.” Jermaine got straight to business once the waitress had walked away with their order. Cam nodded, waiting for him to continue. “I love you  Cam, Ima always love you…no doubt. But moving on has nothing to do with you. I was lonely, you left a spot I needed to fill.”

“So she's a rebound until you miss me too much?” Camryn chuckled. 

“No, I love Zayn.” Jermaine watched as Cam’s smile suddenly disappeared. “I want you to know that I realized that last night, and I told her. She loves me just as much, Cam. We’re in love. I’m so sorry.” Tears began to creep down Camryn’s face. She couldn’t stop them if she tried.  “Dont cry…” Jermaine nearly whispered. 

“It's… it's just hard to hear. That's all. I promise Ima be okay.” She told him, retrieving some tissue from her purse. He watched as she wiped away the tears. For the first time he really looked at her. He sighed. She was beautiful to him in her own way. To the world too, but Jermaine looked at her like a goddess. He could tell he was her happiness, she hadn’t been keeping up with herself like she used to. Especially her hair. 

“I’m so sorry.” Jermaine apologized again. 

“It's okay. I just miss you as a friend too Jermaine. You were more than my boyfriend in the end. When I lost you, I lost my best friend too. It's hard knowing someone else I know and seen personally is getting that. It would be easier if I didn’t know her or never seen her..” 

“Stop beating yourself up.” Jermaine said with a tight lip. 

“I’m in therapy, she says the same thing.” Camryn laughed, her emotions subsiding a little. 

“Really?” Jermaine smiled at her. She nodded in response. “That’s great, at least you are dealing with your emotions.” 

“You aren’t dealing with yours?” She asked. Jermaine had become like Zayn in no time with masking things. She used to be able to tell when he was going through something. She couldn’t tell right now. 

“Nah, not like I should. Zayn and I talk every few months as a check in but that’s the only time I lay everything out.” 

“I know this may sound crazy since I was just crying over you a few minutes ago…but talk with her more often. Talk with her Today. Talk to her about this. About us.” Camryn couldn’t help but smile at the “us” word rolling off her lips. Jermaine caught it but decided not to speak on it. 

“Ima try it but if it don’t work I’m never taking advice from you again.” Jermaine told her. By this time they were done eating. Neither one wanted desert so Jermaine waved the waitress down so that he could pay. 

“It was good seeing you. Honestly.” Cam said knowing their time may be coming to an end after all. She sighed not knowing when the next time she would speak to Jermaine and for what reason. 

“You too. Take care Cam. And don’t worry bout me. Ima be straight.” He assured her. She nodded back. She could feel her eyes welling up again so she stood up ready to leave. 

“Good bye Jermaine.” She barely spoke above a whisper. 

“Goodbye Camryn.” 

#j. cole #j cole fanfiction #j cole fanfic #j.cole #fanfiction #jcole #j cole #jayda wayda #jayda cheaves #amour jayda

[babyspiderling]

Up To Interpretation Michael Jackson x reader

(Victory Tour)

I stand on the corner of the stage, the arena dead silent around me. I hear a radio playing softly from somewhere backstage and I sign along, closing my eyes and letting my hands dance and tell the story the singer weaves. I hear the click of hard souls on the concrete, their clacks drawing closer to me. The squeak of sneakers, or some kind of rubber soled shoe follows behind the first set. I don't stop signing through the interruption, focused on keeping up with the speed and the intent behind it. I hear both feet whispering to each other, but I don't pay them any mind. I have to be perfect for the first performance of the tour. The rubber soles squeak away as the click clack of the other pair grows closer. A hand is placed on my shoulder and I turn to the hard soled feet. I am met with one of the singers I am interpreting tonight. I concentrate on his eyes, signalling him to go on. Behind him, I see one of his brothers run up behind him, his rubber sneakers squeaking across the stage, a notebook and pen in hand. He shouts "I got what you asked for Mike!" Mr. Hard Shoes glances over his shoulder and accepts the items. Opening the book, he scribbled down on the paper. He quickly shoves the book into my hands and gestures to me to read what he had written. "Hello, my name is Michael Jackson. Who are you and what are you doing here?" His handwriting is a bit difficult to read, random capitalization's here and there, and the words scribbled quickly and carelessly. I guess I was taking too long to read the note, sneakers huffing out a "Great, not only is she deaf, but illiterate." I swallow and hand the book back to Michael, turning to sneakers. I stare him in the face as I sign. "Me not deaf. Me hearing. Me don't speak. Me sign. Me sign for you."

A/N: This is ASL Gloss, The sentence structure for ASL is a bit different than regular English. ASL is quick and to the point, since there are no signs for words like "and" "the" "or" etc. Deaf People are not cavemen, they can express the same thoughts, feelings, and ideas we can, they just do it a little differently.

His mouth drops open a little bit in confusion, his eyes locked on mine as he says to Michael, "What is she saying and why is she staring at me?" I roll my eyes and turn back to Michael. I sign "Your book, you give me? Please?" Michael gets the picture, the sign for book clueing him in. "Oh! You want my notebook? Here." He hands me the notebook and pen and I write carefully and legibly. "I'm not deaf. I'm actually hearing. I'm mute, so I sign. I'm your interpreter for the U.S leg of the tour." I hand the book back and patiently wait for him to read it. He playfully smacks sneakers upside the head, laughing out a "You idiot, she's not a crazy fan. She's our interpreter for the show! And she heard everything you said." I smile, seeing the relationship the two have.

Sneaker's eyes widen comically as he realizes how far he stuck his foot in his mouth. He walks up to me, holding out his hand for me to shake. "Sorry 'bout that. I'm Jackie. We just saw some girl standing on stage waving her hands around like a crazy person, and didn't know what to think." I shake his hand, signing book again so I can properly introduce myself. Under my previous message I write "I'm Y/N, I understand the confusion. I'm mute, meaning I can't talk, but I can hear everything just as well as you can. For some reason, the fact that I can't talk made them hire me on the spot. I was actually about to ask for the set list so I can rehearse, or at least be a little prepared for tonight." I hand the notebook to Jackie and keep the pen to myself, writing on my wrist to purchase a few notebooks myself. He nods and leads me to the backstage area, Michael following close behind. "I'll introduce you to the guys and get you the set list, alright?" I nod my head, memorizing the path since I probably won't be able to ask for directions if I got lost.

Jackie leads me to a dressing room filled with four other guys and two girls. Michael introduces me to the group, "Guys, this is Y/N, she's our interpreter for the U.S leg of the tour. Y/N, this is Jermaine, Marlon, Randy and Tito. These are our sisters La Toya and Janet." I wave to them, staying silent. Marlon says "Cool, signing even when off the clock, nice gimmick." I look back to Michael and sign "They read book." He stutters out "Oh right. Here guys, this should explain some." He takes the notebook from his pocket and tosses it to Jermaine, who then passes it around. La Toya walked up to me with this glint in her eye. "Oh! You're so pretty! If we were going anywhere else, I wouldn't do a thing, but those stage lights will completely wash you out, even the guys have to wear makeup. Can I get you ready?" I think about it, and nod. I hold up a finger, and write down. "It has to be simple. Nothing flashy. Rules of the game. No jewelry, no distracting clothes, no sparkle eye makeup. Not up to me, just comes with being an interpreter." She reads it quickly and sags her shoulders a bit. "Fine, I get it. Nothing too flashy. But I promise, we're going to have some fun." She drags me to a second dressing room, one with lit up mirrors and vanities. She sits me down and pulls out a giant makeup case. I relax my face and let her do her thing, trusting her to not go overboard. She plugs in a curling iron as she finishes up my makeup. Without any paper around, I try my best to communicate. I pull my hair back, off my face, another rule of interpreting. Luckily, La Toya got the message. "Oh! Hair back, got it." She curls my hair, completely covering it in hairspray, and gives me a beautiful bun on the top of my head, leaving the second half of my hair down. I inspect myself in the mirror, never feeling this beautiful in my life. I turn to La Toya and sign "Thank you", hoping that if she doesn't understand my hands, she can understand the look in my eyes.

I walk out into the hallways, now hustling and bustling as it gets closer to show time. I was given the set list and lyric sheet for the night while I was made over. I run the entire show at least 5 times before being called to take my place, the instructional prologue getting ready to play.

By the end of the show, my wrists and fingers ached from the fast movements to stay on pace with the band. Walking backstage, I just want to take my makeup off and stretch out my aching joints. Michael stops me in the hall and asks me, "Hey, you want to fly with us? I'd love to get to know you more, plus give you the set list for the next show to let you practice." I nod, wanting to answer his questions. He lights up. "Maybe, you can teach me some sign language? Don't get me wrong, I love writing back and forth, but it'd be cool to sign to each other" He leads me to the limo that is taking him to the hotel and then the airport in the morning. "I'm not sure where your room is, but I can have your stuff sent to mine and we can talk some. If you'd like." I shrug my shoulders, I didn't know either. He makes a quick phone call and I watch the lights move past. "Hey, Y/N, you were really cool there. It was like you were singing and dancing with your hands at the same time. Why don't you talk? If you don't mind me asking. You don't have to answer." I hold out my hand for the notebook and try my best to write on the bumpy road. "Long story. I'll tell you at the hotel, roads too rough to write it out on the way." He reads my writing and nods in understanding. "I get it." We fall into a comfortable silence as we drive to his hotel.

I follow Michael through the lobby, up the elevators and to his suite. My bags are placed in the main room, and Michael stretches his arms above his head. "Hey, Y/N, I'm going to go take a shower. If your story really is as long as you're saying, go ahead and start writing it down. I can read it while you shower." I nod and he hands me a legal pad, much better than the little hand notebook Michael carried around at all times. I sit down and start writing.

"I've been mute since I was 6 years old. My dad and I were going to the record store to listen to some and take others home to add to our collection. The light turned green, and we went, but someone else swerved into our lane, causing a head on collision. My dad died on impact, but they said he didn't feel any pain. Pieces of glass got caught in and cut my throat. I woke up in the hospital with no vocal chords, no voice. The damage done was too much for them to take and they had to be removed. I don't want your pity, I've gotten nothing but pity since I was 6. I'm not fragile and you do not need to treat me as such." I put the pen down just as Michael finished up in the bathroom. I gestured to the pad, and grabbed clothes for the shower. When I came out Michael was just staring at the paper, some areas warped with his spilled tears. He looked up at me with glossy eyes and enveloped me in his arms. "Oh, Y/N, I am so sorry. We don't have to talk about it or anything. We can just go to bed right now if you want." I shake my head. I break away reluctantly and go back to the paper. "No, it's ok. If you have any questions I will do my best to answer them." He thinks for a moment and asks, "Can you make any sounds? If you don't have vocal chords, how can you be vocal?" I hum a little tune, and make a couple of noises. We sit down, and he asks me to teach him to sign. We start with finger spelling.

"What's your favorite candy?" "(F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E C-A-N-D-Y)" "Wow! I love those! I like S-K-I-T-T-L-E-S. Oh! And P-E-A-N-U-T M-N-M-S!" I smile at him. He's a really fast learner. I yawn and glance at the clock. I sign "time" and point at the clock. He follows my finger and reads the time. "Oh wow, 1:30. We should probably get to bed. I'll take the couch and see you in the morning." I reach for the pen to protest but he snatches it before I can lay a finger on it. "No Ifs ands or buts. I'm taking the couch." I roll my eyes, signing "Silly boy" and making my way to the bed. I fall into a blissful sleep easily.

The next morning Michael and I are on our way to the plane, the next stop being Irving. We sit across from each other, Michael signing what he can, and writing what he can't. I teach him little words and phrases as we go, and specific ones at his request. Sooner than expected we touch down and make our way to the venue. The entire tour goes by in a flash, performing every night with the boys, only watching from the wings our eight shows in Canada. On our last night in LA and my last night on the job, Michael drops a bomb on everyone around the world. That this was the last show for the tour. I translated what he said for the audience, a look of complete confusion on my face. I struggled to focus on the task at hand, translating for those Deaf at the show, unable to comprehend what had just happened. The show had ended finally and it was chaos backstage. People yelling at Mike for his cancellation, calling it selfish, immature. I couldn't help but feel a little hurt. I knew that this was my last show, and that I would no longer be working with the band, but I thought he would at least tell me since I thought we were close. I pushed through the throngs of angry managers and crew members back to my little corner.

I gathered my things, coming across one of the notebooks that Michael and I had practically filled. The others full of writing were in my suitcase back at the hotel. In my heartache, I accidentally dropped the notebook, its pages falling open on impact. A page filled with shading and lines caught my attention, its place in the back making it invisible to me. Examining it closely, I realize it's an incredibly done sketch of me, done by Michael. I was asleep when he did this. I think it was on the plane to Denver. I gently closed the pages, and placed it into my bag.

I turned my gaze to the sound of the door opening, revealing none other than the artist himself. With creased eyebrows, I simply sign "Why?", not understanding why he did it a bit. He sagged, as if all the air had been let out of him. "Because, Y/N, I couldn't stand being under their thumb anymore. I couldn't work with Joseph anymore, I need to be the one in control. I want to make my own music, send my own message, without anyone telling me otherwise." I nod, understanding where he was coming from, but sad to see him go. I wiped at my tears and signed "I'll miss you Applehead." This made him chuckle and pull me in for a long, large hug. "I'll miss you too." He kissed the top of my head and took a step back. He signed "You always in my heart." something I had taught him, but fragmented. He picked up the notebook laying in the top of my bag and tore out an empty page, as well as a pen. He handed both to me. "Write down your address and I promise I will write to you practically everyday. And if I ever go on tour, I know just who I'll hire to be my interpreter." With one final tearful hug goodbye, it was time for us to go our separate ways. I would miss him, but I knew I would always be in his heart, and he in mine.

Taglist: @accio-boys​

#michael jackson #michael jackson imagine #michael jackson x reader #80s imagines #80's imagine #80's fanfiction #80's x reader

[foodcourtdetective]

thinking too hard

summary: barry berkman has been trying to forget about his soulmate for both of their sakes, but Y/N is making it very hard and using their soulmate connection to draw all over him.

tags: angsty, soulmate au, love at first sight, very brief Barry x Sally, definitely a happy ending!

A/N: I’m just really into soulmate!au’s and Barry Berkman okay?!?! (and // means time passes)

word count 2.4k

AO3 x

He hated Los Angeles. Barry’s long sleeve shirt stuck to him in the desert heat, sweat pooling in his armpits and on his back. NoHank asked him about his outfit choice, offering him a short-sleeved shirt or a tank top.

“You want to take one of their shirts? They won’t mind, they’re confident in their bodies!” NoHank said, gesturing over to the Chechen recruits. Barry shook his head, clearing his throat in discomfort. After a moment, NoHank made a movement to push up Barry’s sleeves for him, but Barry was too quick and grabbed NoHank’s pinky, bending it all the way back.

“Shit shit, okay okay! Someone has body issues! We will talk about accepting your body some other time then.” Barry ignored him, staring coldly ahead as the young Chechen recruit finally hit a beer can with his bullet.

//

When he finally got back to his apartment, Barry made a beeline for the bathroom, nodding briefly at Jermaine and Nick on his way. After peeling off his shirt and grabbing the sink, Barry took a look at his body or rather what was on it. Today, his soulmate had kept it simple: a heart on his wrist, a note to pick up two lattes at 9, and a flower chain that started at his trigger finger and trailed all the way up his forearm. He sighed, holding back a soft smile as her traced up the stem of flowers with his other pointer fingers. As he ended the journey at his inner forearm, Barry stopped to see a less traditional note: written on his upper chest right over his heart, in simple cursive, it read please talk to me, Barry. A deep sigh filled the tiny bathroom and he gently caressed their handwriting.  The familiar movement triggered a whirl of memories.

Writing excitedly on his leg the moment he turned sixteen to introduce himself to his soulmate only to get no response. Giving up on love and joining the Marines shortly after. Noticing the shy hello scribbled on his hand seven years later when he was already too far gone. Writing to them any chance he got once he find out the silence was because they had not been old enough yet. Learning her name was Y/N and that she lived in California. Having to break off communication once Fuches put him to work. The sharp lines she had drawn as she had asked if he could feel the sharp indent of her pen, told him that ignoring them for their own good was ridiculous. The obscene images Y/N had drawn all over him the first couple of years, trying to get an angry message from him, any message.

His heart sank, but Barry knew as much as it hurt both of them, it was better for them to move on, to pretend to not have a soulmate. God knows Barry would rather hide her away, hide his shot at happiness, than have her be tortured or worse by any of his enemies or allies. He groaned, his knuckles turning whiter than the sink.

//

His acting class didn’t know what to make of him at first; his long, dark clothing sharply contrasted their tight shorts and tank tops, skin flaunting their connections. But despite himself, Barry grew close to Sally, a girl who had never seen any marks on her body. After hearing that Barry also had a blank canvas, she pounced on him with a marker she had seemingly pulled out of nowhere, drawing a star on his knuckles. However, despite her persistence, no matching star appeared on her own. Sally declared them star-crossed soulmates and asked him on a date.

After a late night of drinks, Barry found himself making out with Sally on her couch. She went to pull off his shirt and for the first time in his life, he mindlessly complied, distracted by the intimacy. Sally suddenly shot up from the couch, crying out as she pointed to the drawings adorning his chest. Y/N had seen the star Sally had drawn and, hopeful that it was a message to her, drew out an intricate night sky. Hidden among the stars, scrawled out in cursive, she wrote I’m here when you’re ready, Barry. -Y/N.

“How dare you! You lied just to get into my pants?!” Sally tripped over herself to pick up his discarded shirt, balling it up to chuck at him. Barry pulled it on, dazed all the way home until he saw the message glint in the mirror as he was getting undressed. Barry slammed his fist into the wall, shouting out in frustration. Ass his phone rang, the caller ID revealing it was Fuches, Barry scrambled to put his shirt back on, scribbling a message to Y/N on the fleshy part of his bicep. I’m a hitman. Don’t message me unless you want to die.

//

After the assignment, Barry found himself staring at his chest and reading her pleas to talk further. That’s not funny. Barry. Barry! Oh my god, you’re serious. That explains a few things. You gotta talk to me, your soulmate? I need to know why. Barry sighed, wandering over to his bedroom to get a pen from his desk. He sat on the bed, anxiously fiddling with the pen in between his fingers before writing on his trigger finger: you still want to talk to me? He waits, watching the loopy letters sweep down his arm like a signature under the floral art she continued to draw every day.

Yes, I have a death wish. He laughed at the absurdity of their conversation before responding.

Why are all artists suicidal?

See, I’d rather have this with you than live without it. Her words made him freeze in his tracks, his fingers gently stroking over the confession as they faded away, scrubbed off by the writer. She filled the now empty space with a series of numbers; Barry furrowed his brow, trying to decode the secret message. After a moment Y/N wrote again underneath them.

Running out of space! Text me! He hesitated, his heart in his throat as he debated if the convenience was worth sacrificing her safety. Finally, with shaking hands, he dialed the number and hit call. A soft hello followed the ringing, the voice so angelic that he knew he would do whatever she asked him to do.

“I said text, not call! You do know how to read, right?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s nice to hear your voice!”

“What? No, I mean I’m sorry for…” Barry trailed off, his mind swarmed by memories of pushing her away and feeling her anguish through the pointy pen tip.

“You wanted to protect me. I get it. Now we’re even from when I couldn’t write to you.”

“That wasn’t intentional.”

“It would have been! I was a pretty rebellious eleven year old.” He laughed, the silence after he finishes awkward until he breaks it.

“I’m in LA.”

“For work?”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

Barry doodles a flower on his thumb. It’s not as pretty as any of hers, but she draws a faint heart around it. He brushes the heart, his own beating so loudly it was in his ears.

“I’m scared.”

“Me too.”

“Because of who I am? What I do?” His throat was thick from holding back the dam of emotion, but his voice managed to crack in desperation.

“I’m scared you’re going to leave me again.” Barry paused at that, his own heart breaking a little at the thought of all of the pain he must have caused Y/N by abandoning her. He’s now drawing a bouquet on his forearm, a sloppier version of her own.

“You don’t have to be afraid of that. Once I see you for the first time, I’m probably never going to leave you alone ever again… Not in a creepy way…”

“I would love that.”

“I’m giving you an out right now. You can hang up, stay in the safety of your life as a… what do you do again?”

“Graphic design!”

“I knew you were an artist!”

“And I knew you were a comedian!”

“Weird way of pronouncing what I actually do…” She giggled at that, falling quiet after a hearty laugh.

“Look at your leg. I’ll see you there at 9. Don’t be late!” As she hung up, Barry pressed his phone to his lips in shock. Remembering her words, he pulled his pants down to read the directions she had jotted onto his thigh, the dots in the I’s drawn as hearts instead of dots; he almost died of pure joy right then and there.

//

In hindsight, it was good that Y/N had suggested a coffee shop to meet because Barry had not gotten a wink of sleep the entire night. He had stared at the ceiling, flat on his back and still fondly stroking her writing on his leg. As his pointer finger traced the hearts, he felt his own thud loudly in his chest. It was easier to protect her when she was just lines on his person, just another part of him that he hated, another vulnerability. But hearing Y/N’s voice, imagining what she might look like, had ignited a wanting within him, a need to be with her, his other half. She was no longer just a part of him; she was a separate entity that he wanted to get to know and love.

He had gotten to the shop as soon as it opened at 4, wanting to figure out where the best table inside would be and staking it out for them. The barista had made him order a drink at 5:30; panicked and feeling about a thousand years old, Barry ordered “something to bring me back to life.” At 6 he was shuttering, borderline convulsing from the quad espresso that he consumed quickly. His anxiety was through the room, but all he could do was dig his fingernails into his palm which was resting on his jeans over her handwriting. What if she wasn’t as okay with the age difference as she thought she was? What if it hits her that her soulmate is a hitman? What if the drawings stop appearing. What if—

Barry jolted awake in his seat, now realizing that he had crashed from the overdose of caffeine. The barista (Stacie, he later learned) made a joke about having to restart his heart. He checked his phone: 8:30am. Suddenly, a thought dawned on him and he ordered another drink. By the time Stacie brought it over and started walking back to the counter, the bell above the door tingled. Barry immediately stood up like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, turning to look at the customer. She sensed his stare immediately, turning to look him over as a dreamy blush painted her cheeks.

“Barry?” She whispered, his name less of a question and more of a disbelief. He swallowed, his throat dry as he looked over Y/N, his soulmate. She was absolutely picturesque, an almost pure aura of light around her as the door slowly shut behind her. As she drew near, Barry was almost too aware of how he towered over, a menacing presence.

“I gotcha a latt-“ Barry didn’t even get to finish his stuttering as Y/N grabbed his collar and pulled him down into a kiss. His mouth was already half open and he stumbled forward from the force of her tug. It wasn’t the most coordinated kiss in the world, her mouth mostly on his bottom lip and her teeth lightly bumped his by accident; but it was theirs. Barry felt his body fill with a warmth, like his whole being was sighing with relief at being united with his soulmate as he kissed her back. He had thought that the doodles and the sound of her voice would do him in, but this… this would knock his entire life’s path off track. After a moment, Barry gently placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled away, just looking down at her in awe.

“How did you know my coffee order?” Y/N asked, her grin stretched out wider than Barry previously thought possible. He babbled for a few seconds, removing his hands to gesticulate as he just expressed a bunch of word fillers before finally managing to get something out.

“Y-you, you wrote it on your hand as a-a part of your to-to-to do list,” he explained, trying to stick his erratic hands in his pockets but Y/N swung her hand forward to snatch his hand. She squealed, making a joke about how sweaty his hand was and Barry thought he would die of a heart attack right then and there. She pulled him down again, this time so they could sit at the table together and she could take a sip of her latte. Barry simply stared at her, his brain slightly short circuiting with delight. Eventually, rational thought caught up with him and Barry tried to remove his hand from hers, but she had a firm grip and a look in her eye that told him she already knew what he was going to say.

“You’re not worried about…”

“I thought we already went over this, Barry. I’m in! I’m all in,” she declared sweetly, leaning over to capture his lips once again. He was consumed by it, by her, his head swirling with a dizziness of emotion and his lungs burning with a heartache of regrets. They could have had this so much sooner, if he had left the army, if he hadn’t made that deal with Fuches, if he hadn’t been an idiot about wanting to protect her. The deep and mind numbing kiss ended as Y/N broke it to breathe heavy. Barry looked at her through lidded eyes, revering her with every fiber of his being.

“You are good at that! It’s a good thing too because it looks like I’m gonna have to kiss you every five minutes to get you out of that type of thinking,” she giggled, moving to lean back in her chair but Barry slung an arm around her waist, pulling her back into him with a soft smile.

“Better make it every two minutes because I’m thinking again,” he joked, his heart glowing as the love of his life obliged his request and kissed him senseless.

#barry berkman x reader #barry #barry hbo #barry block x reader #soulmate au #soulmate!au #barry berkman imagine #barry block imagine #barry berkman #barry block #bill hader #hbo #bill hader x reader #my words #barry x sally

[popmusicu]

Most important Boybands in history for me

Boy bands have been an important part of pop culture for several decades, each generation has had its Boyband, these vocal groups formed by teenage boys, who sing and dance (there are exceptions), wear matching clothes and drive the girls crazy.

That's why I present some of the most important Boybands in history (some of my favorites and others that even though I'm not a fan I know several songs):

The jackson 5: Considered by many the first Boyband in history, this band formed by the African-American brothers from Gary,Indiana: Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael (from oldest to youngest) started in the mid 60s, driven by their father Joseph Jackson, playing in small bars and events in their town, until they were discovered by Motown Records where they began a successful career with Berry Gordy (owner of Motown) and Diana Ross, reaching the top of the U.S. charts with singles like "I Want You Back", "ABC", "The Love You Save" and "I'll Be There", without a doubt they were one of the most influential groups of the time, years later when they went to Epic Records they changed their name to "The Jacksons".

Well, last but not least, in the late 70's Michael Jackson started his solo career, which would lead him to become the most important artist in history and be known as the King of Pop.

Without a doubt, the Jackson Five are one of my favorites and I think most people know at least one of their songs.

J5 medley: https://youtu.be/-4QWtflqqoU

New Kids on the block: This group formed in 1984 by the brothers Jonathan Knight and Jordan Knight, Joey McIntyre, Donnie Wahlberg and Danny Wood from Boston, were a symbol for the boy bands that later in the 90s would succeed them.

They released their first album in 1986, but they jumped to the fame in 1988 with their album "Hangin' Tough" and even more with the release of "Step by step" in 1990 with which they became number 1 in the United States, but it didn't pass much time until in 1994 with the exit of Jonathan Knight, the group ended up separating.

After years in 2008 they announced that the group reunited, which made new tours and later between 2010 and 2012 with the Backstreet Boy made the NKOTBSB tour where they shared the stage singing the hits of both Boy bands, today they continue making music.

The NKOTBSB tour with 2 or more generations!

The Right Stuff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbIEwIwYz-c

Backstreet boys: It is the most successful Boyband of all time (we must admit that everyone knows at least a couple of their songs), composed of AJ McLean, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter and Kevin Richardson, since 1993 when it was formed and after releasing its first album of the same name in 1996, has been a symbol of pop and one of the groups with more record sales in the history of music.

Regarding their music, they obtained their first success in Europe with "We've Got It Goin' On", and from there their popularity began to grow , until with "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" they managed to conquer the United States. By the end of the decade of the 90s they release what was their most successful album "Millenium" which debuted in the position n° 1 of Billboard 200 that includes their most successful song "I want it that way" (we all know it's song), then they continue with their album "Black and Blue", which they promoted by traveling the 5 continents in 100 hours, with which they obtained a Guinness record.

After several agitated years, the band decides to take a rest in 2002, although after 3 years they return with a new sound and new tour, but in 2006 Kevin decides to leave the band, reason why Nick, AJ, Brian and Howie decide to continue them 4 with BSB, after several years and new albums, the project NKOTBSB arises where they unite to the New Kids ON The Block to make a tour, in which they announce the return of Kevin to the quintet. Currently, they are still very active after releasing their album "DNA" , whose world tour was interrupted by the covid-19.

My favorite boyband by far, their way of being, their messages in their songs, their iconic choreographies and the power to deal with difficult situations that have been presented to them make me admire them and love each of their songs.

All I have to give: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj6FCKm8dhM

N´ Sync: Considered in the 90s the rivals of the Backstreet Boys, this band composed by Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, Lance Bass, JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake who until today continues with his successful solo career; it was created in 1995 by Lou Pearlman, had great success at the end of the 90s until his separation in 2002.

In addition to their great successes with songs like "Bye bye bye", "I want you back" or "Pop", they had the opportunity to work with important music celebrities like MJ, Aerosmith, Celine Dion, Elthon John among others, there is even a chapter of The Simpsons dedicated to them. One of the strongest features of N' Sync was the dance and its complex choreography.

For me, Justin was always the most outstanding of the group, that's why he continues to be an important artist to this day.

Bye bye bye: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s

One Direction: British Boyband was born in 2010 after Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson, participated in Factor X, where Simon Cowell joined them and created one of the most successful bands of the decade of 2010, debuted with "What Makes You Beautiful" and since then were a phenomenon, filled stadiums, world tours, etc.  In 2013 they released "Midnight Memories", which was the best selling album of that year, which contained songs like "Best Song Ever", "Story of My Life" which are some of the most heard songs of the band.

until 2015 when Zayn announced that he was leaving the band, so 1D was left with only 4 members, who in 2016 each began their solo projects, leaving the group on pause until today.

What this band was missing to call my attention, I think was that they didn't dance!

Best Song Ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_v9MY_FMcw

BTS: Although this band was formed in 2010 in South Korea and their debut was in 2013 is not until 2017 with the rise of K-pop that have become the most important group of this genre worldwide, formed by Jin, Suga, J-Hope, RM, Jimin, V and Jungkook have remained within the Billboard 200 for a long time with different songs like "DNA" or his EP "Love Yourself: Her", in addition to receiving several awards.

Even Time magazine recognized them as "Next Generation Leaders ", and they were included in the list of the most influential people in the world in 2019.

While this genre of pop is not my favorite, one of my favorite songs is Dynamite at first I was struck by its rhythm, but when I saw the video and all the references to MJ I loved a more.

Dynamite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdZLi9oWNZg

Michelle Silva H.

#All time best #list #I love this #submission

[jdiep95]

Mariah Carey: Top 10 Remixes

In continuation of celebrating Mariah season, and “All I Want For Christmas Is You” finally becoming a #1 single, I am sharing with you my “Top” lists of MC songs every Monday and Tuesday up until the 25th. After talking about the Top 10 Most Iconic Mariah Carey songs, it’s time to move on to the Top 10 MC Remixes. Come back next Monday for the Top 10 Underrated MC Bops. All songs mentioned these lists can be found on streaming services (e.g. Spotify, Apple Music). That means deeper cuts, but fan favourites, like the “Someday (New 7” Straight)” remix, the “Never Too Far/Hero” medley, and “H.A.T.E.U.” remix ft. OJ da Juiceman, which aren’t available, aren’t included; the aforementioned remixes are, however, available on YouTube, and they definitely deserve a listen.

You’ve listened to remixes where they’ve brought in a guest rapper, something that Mariah popularized in 1995 as you’ll see below. You’ve also listened to remixes where they’ve brought in a featured singer, something that Mariah had also done in 2000, when she re-released the “Against All Odds (Take A Look at Me Now)” single with Westlife. But you’ve never heard a remix until you’ve heard a MC remix. Somehow we’ve gotten the perception that Mariah is lazy because she doesn’t perform the choreo or doesn’t sing the song — point them in this direction. Up until the 2010s, Mariah insisted doing remixes her way. She’s not just pulling in DJs, or rappers, or featured singers to do all the heavy lifting in remixes, Mariah incorporates new elements, sometimes practically changing up the genre of the song. And she re-records, sometimes new vocals, sometimes the entire track.

Is the list TL;DR? No worries. I compiled each list into a respective playlist, starting from No. 10 and ending at No. 1, so you get to listen to the Top 10 MC Remixes while on the go.

https://open.spotify.com/user/jdiep95/playlist/6UfiZPeq4yA1fq4i87CUwq?si=iHpF9-BAThW8m26GKSKyiA

10. A No No ft. Shawni

Year: 2019

“A No No” is an underrated bop off of Mariah’s most recent studio album, Caution. Caution, like many of Mariah’s comeback, is a testament that she’s still got it; however, unlike the couple of albums before it, Mariah ditches most of the post-production, and delivers one of her strongest albums. “A No No” uses a sped-up sample of Lil’ Kim’s "Crush on You”, with the original mix using excerpts of Biggie’s rap. The remix featuring Shawni drops Biggie’s rap. This isn’t the first time Mariah opted for a female rapper for the remix: In 1999 for the “Heartbreaker” remix, MC dropped Jay-Z for Da Brat and Missy Elliot. “A No No” is a feminist song about cutting off liars and cheaters, and enjoying the single life; Shawni’s contributions add to the latter, admitting: “To all my exes need to tell you that I’m sorry/That I didn’t leave you sooner/I settle for less, and that is exactly what I been getting.” This remix isn’t perfect — the melody and the structure remains the same, and Mariah only records a couple of additional inflections. The best part about this remix, that’s absent from the original mix, is the addition of a series of ascending melismatic whistles near the end. You can’t help but feel like something’s missing from the original mix, and MC lets you know it in the remix.

9. Fantasy (Bad Boy Fantasy Remix) ft. O.D.B., Sean “Puffy” Combs

Year: 1995

Why the “Bad Boy Fantasy Remix” is so iconic was already discussed in the Top 10 Most Iconic list: It introduced the featured rapper formula to pop music, and paved the road for its successors like Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love” or Rihanna’s “Umbrella”, both of which features Jay-Z. The remix features rapper O.D.B., who, by the time the remix was released, had started a solo career separate from the Wu-Tang Clan. The release of the "Fantasy" remix is entrenched in racial politics. Columbia Records and Sony Music feared the inclusion of O.D.B. would jeopardize the squeaky clean, family-friendly, racially-ambiguous image they had built for Mariah. In the remix, a lot of the pop production is stripped away, leaving the bass beat as the foundation of the song; Mariah sings on top of this. "Fantasy" sampled “Genius of Love” by the Tom Tom Club, and in the remix, the sample is echoed in the bass beat. The bridge of the original mix, which also samples “Genius of Love”, became the remix’s chorus. The structure changed, and “Fantasy” itself became slinkier, less saccharine. The producer, Sean Combs, better known as P. Diddy, recalled working with O.D.B. all through the night to record the rap; O.D.B recorded sentences at a time, whenever the inspiration hit, or whenever he was awake. Regardless, Mariah’s insistence to collaborate with O.D.B, and to release the remix was an industry-changing move.

8. Honey (So So Def Remix) ft. Da Brat, Jermaine Dupri

Year: 1997

The “Fantasy” remix, despite it being iconic and timeless, was mostly work in post, especially trying to piece together O.D.B.’s individual recordings to form an actual rap. The So So Def remix of “Honey” was a completely different affair with the song reworked and re-recorded. The bass line of the original mix of “Honey” samples “The Body Rock” by the Treacherous Three, while the tinkling piano line uses a sample of “Hey DJ” by the World’s Famous Supreme Team. The So So Def Remix foregoes “The Body Rock” sample, and also samples a different excerpt from “Hey DJ”. The accompaniment itself sounds like a midi file off of a video game, but it’s actually the hook from the Jackson’s 5 “It’s Great to Be Here”, Mariah’s first time sampling a another pop song. This “Honey” remix is a novelty. As a critic, you would expect another dance remix or something that really leans into the hip-hop, and instead you receive a feat that reduces the original dance track to 8-bit music with MC’s vocals as the main attraction.

7. My All (Classic Club Remix)

Year: 1998

Have you seen Dreamgirls? In the stage performance, Effie sings “One Night Only” and it shifts immediately into the disco version sung by Deena. I imagine the remix of “My All” draws inspiration from that, especially when they chorus starts chanting, “Just one more night.” In the Classic Club Remix, MC sings on top of a dance beat but it’s a slow burn before it becomes that full on club anthem. The remix isn’t completely re-recorded; it’s her original recording that’s fixed on top of the dance track produced by David Morales, but it’s the last five minutes that she adds on new elements, and finishes out with new vocals, a solo for the latin guitars, and a chorus. Sam Smith might be able to sing any dance song as a ballad, but Mariah is the master of rewriting any torch song into an upbeat track. Try not dancing when Mariah starts going off with the “Feel your body”’s.

6. Through the Rain ft. Kelly Price, Joe

Year: 2002

“Through the Rain” is Mariah’s first comeback single. It hails from Charmbracelet, Mariah’s comeback album after the entire Glitter fiasco. It’s Mariah’s first leading single that failed to crack the Top 5, even “Loverboy” off of Glitter peaked at #2. The inspirational track, which encourages the audience that they will “Make it through the rain”, stalled at #81. The original mix is a slow R&B ballad, one that even I rarely listen to since I almost always opt for the live version she performed at MTV Presents. The remix is more upbeat as a result of changes lyrically and melodically, and by infusing gospel elements, there’s more of a sense of hope than in the original mix. “Through the Rain” didn’t chart well, so why does this remix rank so high among the other remixes? A decade and a half before Kanye decided to bring everyone to church, Mariah brought her listeners to church instead of the club with this remix. For a remix, the sound was new and gutsy, especially for a song that didn’t fair too well, granted she did also release a dance remix. With the remix, MC proved that a song didn’t have to be wildly popular for her to breath new life into it.

5. Unforgettable (Acoustic) ft. Mariah Carey, Swae Lee

Year: 2017

You might be quick to catch that "Unforgettable” is actually a French Montana song, but you might be less familiar with this Mariah Carey remix. The inclusion of MC on this track, and the decision to replace the track with a guitar makes it sound more like a R&B-inspired country song with a rap section than it does dancehall; nonetheless, the remix is incredibly cross-genre. Chances are French Montana didn’t re-record his lines, which is standard, but then some very stylistic choices were made that makes the remix sound like a Mariah duet rather than a MC-guest appearance. These decisions, however, may not exactly be MC-mandated, so let’s talk about two things that were within her control: (1) MC sings throughout the entire track. She doesn’t appear for just one verse then disappears; she injects herself throughout the song by harmonizing with French Montana. (2) MC brings her whistle notes. MC fans stan Mariah’s whistle notes for one very good reason: Mariah uses them with much musicality. It’s less of a garnish where MC goes, “Hey, look, I did that!” because we know she can do those whistle notes. In the “Unforgettable” remix, MC uses her whistles as a base, a broth if you may; in this way, her high notes are instrumental, and she strings them together in a series of legato to create the backing track for which French and her sings on. Mariah’s contribution to this song really makes it ever more unforgettable.

4. We Belong Together ft. Jadakiss, Styles P

Year: 2005

Kelefa Sanneh, a former music music critic for The New York Times, called the “We Belong Together” remix “springier”; I had to quote him because there’s no better way of putting it. The original mix is tear-jerking, but the remix has a bounce to it that captures the hip-hop vibe that MC was looking for. The remix gets pretty close to demonstrating what a perfect balance looks like, and inevitably Mariah sometimes misses the mark — remixes sometimes reduce Mariah to the featured artist, despite it being a Mariah song. She sings along while Jadakiss and Styles P trade lines, emphasizing certain phrases. The remix continues to sample Bobby Womack’s “If You Think You’re Lonely Now”, and uses a longer lyric sample from “Two Occasions” by The Deele. On this list, we’ve seen MC skillfully use instrumental samples, but she is masterful in picking lyrical samples as well. The “Two Occasions" sample, “I only think of you on two occasions/That’s day and night”, contributes to the message of yearning in “We Belong Together”, making it fit perfectly with the mood and the scheme of the song. MC finishes the remix in a way only she could, by showcasing a series of vocal acrobats for the last minute-and-a-half of the song.

3. Always Be My Baby (Mr. Dupri Mix) ft. Da Brat, Xscape

Year: 1996

I know diehard fans prefer Mariah’s Butterfly era, where you had songs like “Honey” and “My All”, but my favourite would still have to be the Daydream era, when MC decided to gift the world with “Fantasy” and “Always Be My Baby”. The Daydream era featured prime Mariah vocals, amazing album cuts, and two of Mariah’s coolest remixes to date. Both the “Fantasy” and “Always Be My Baby” remixes are timeless; the former is so stripped down, but it is the latter that we really need to talk about. It’s timeless in such a sophisticated way that’s so rarely seen in pop music. Don’t agree? But Mariah seems to agree. In the Caution World Tour, Mariah’s most recent tour, she performed this remix instead, when “Always Be My Baby” had almost always been performed unaltered in the original mix. The foundation of the Mr. Dupri Mix samples “Tell Me If You Still Care” by the SOS Band, a slow jam itself which gives the remix its sleek, quiet storm sound that was so popular in the 1980s. MC is an understated music genius: She takes a page from TLC, who had just released their critically-acclaimed hip-hop album CrazySexyCool the year before, by recruiting a female rapper, Da Brat for the remix; this marks the first time MC collaborated with a female rapper. And the rap practically merges with the track; it’s neither out of place nor distracting as Mariah riffs while Da Brat raps. She also melds two supposedly conflicting genres, since younger Black audiences had shifted their attention from quiet storm to hip hop since the beginning of the ‘90s. Whereas the “Fantasy” remix had almost no re-recorded vocals, the “Always Be My Baby” remix received an almost complete makeover, save the melody. Mariah really thins out her voice for the remix and introduces her airy whisper, something she’ll really master in her subsequent albums, which gives a new feeling to the happy-go-lucky vibe on the original mix. The remix is more mature, reflecting Mariah’s real-life desire to bridge pop, R&B and hip-hop.

2. All I Want For Christmas Is You (So So Def Remix)

Year: 2000

As we’ve seen in the Top 10 Most Iconic list, Mariah has released several versions of “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. Certainly, the original mix reigns supreme, but the So So Def Remix comes awfully close, and I will argue that none of MC’s other versions or any other cover of this song, ballad, acoustic or otherwise, comes close to this remix. You might have heard the disconnected intro and skipped the rest of the song, which meant you missed Mariah and producer Jermaine Dupri reworking the song in ways no one else can. The So So Def Remix is an extremely smooth R&B and hip-hop remix, and although this is nothing out of the ordinary for MC, it’s such a smart remix because it’s a Christmas song for anyone who’s tired of listening to Christmas songs; essentially it’s an escape from the original mix. This remix has as much spring as the “We Belong Together” remix, but this bounce is a result of sampling “Planet Rock” by Afrika Bambaataa & the Soulsonic Force. The whistle notes that are seen in the main melody of later versions derives from this remix, and arguably, the whistle notes in the remix’s successors are nowhere as melismatic. You can’t beat a Mariah original, but you also can’t beat a Mariah remix.

1. Anytime You Need A Friend (C&C Club Version)

Year: 1994

“Anytime You Need A Friend” is a deeper cut itself off of Mariah's best selling album Music Box. It’s Mariah’s first US single not to enter the Top 10, peaking at #12. It’s equal parts a love song and a song of encouragement, especially the remix. The original mix of “Anytime You Need A Friend” is a slow ballad, at least “My All” had something sexy about it, so you wouldn’t except Mariah, and producers David Cole and Robert Clivillés to be able to work it into a dance track so well. But without a doubt, it is definitively Mariah’s best remix. The 10 minute song is essentially an abridged version of Mariah’s résumé; you get a glimpse at everything from Mariah’s vocal talents to her songwriting abilities to her musicality. “Anytime You Need A Friend” is a torch song that’s been repackaged with a pounding dance beat. Even if it's from 1994, there’s a certain timelessness to it. Another great thing about most of MC’s remixes is that it doesn’t cut the song short; in the C&C Club Version, the entire song is there. Mariah reworks the part of the original melody, but it’s the last six minutes of the remix, when Mariah goes off, where you can really observe how well she knows music. Can you write this down on sheet music? Or was it improv? To me, the last six minutes was literally a playground for MC to do her thing, whatever she wants. There’s no guest singer or featured rapper, just Mariah. But then this allows her to do something she’s almost never done before or since. At the eight minute mark, the remix enters a jazz breakdown, and Mariah scats, dipping into her lows, belting, and hitting those whistle notes. Simply, this remix is remarkable and breathtaking.

Timelessness is the key word here with MC’s remixes. You may think that the incorporation of samples would date these remixes significantly, but personally it does it complete opposite. Mariah’s remixes transcends eras because of the use of samples. Not only are her remixes cross-genre, they’re also cross-generational. Mariah doesn’t just push out remixes and waits to capitalize on them. If you’re looking for a place to find Mariah’s artistry, look no further than her remixes. She adds new elements and new life to the songs, rewrites them, reworks them, re-records them. Who’s done this recently? In the last twenty years, which artist has consistently given their remixes this kind of treatment?

#mariah carey #all i want for christmas is you #merry christmas #spotify #song list #playlist #remixes

[tkmedia]

Daily Bread Mailbag: Lomachenko, Charlo-Castano, Stevenson-Herring, More

The Daily Bread Mailbag returns with Stephen "Breadman" Edwards tackling topics such as Vasilliy Lomachenko's big comeback win, the upcoming unification between Jermell Charlo and Brian Castano, the record of Artur Beterbiev, Shakur Stevenson vs. Jamel Herring, and more. I’ve asked you in the past about the best wins in boxing. You’ve gone on record stating you believe that Duran’s win over Leonard is the best win in boxing history. But I wanted to ask a slightly different question: What are some fights you think would’ve surpassed that win if it had gone the other way? I know that might be a very broad question, but I’ve been pondering it for a while. One that I can think of that might have an argument is Pryor-Arguello. If Arguello had beaten Pryor, he would’ve been the first four-division champ ever… am I remembering that correctly? Could that have been one of the best wins if it had gone the other way? I also wonder about Hopkins-Trinidad. I know Trinidad was the favorite for that fight, but what if he’d won that one? What are some other what-if big wins you think of? Greg K. Bread’s Response: If I said Duran W over Leonard was the best in history then I was typing too fast. What I meant was it could possibly be the best win in history. It’s high up there. It's among the best. As is Leonard over Hearns1. Ali over Foreman. Frazier over Ali1 and Armstrong over Ross. Along with Duran over Leonard 1, those are most likely the 5 best wins in boxing history.  If Arguello would have defeated Aaron Pryor in 1982 he would have won 4 titles before Leonard in 1988, Duran in 1989 and Hearns in 1987. It would’ve been huge. To defeat and undefeated top 10 P4P fighter the caliber of Pryor in his prime would have been amazing and no doubt a top 10 win in boxing history.  If Tito would have defeated Hopkins it would’ve been something. Tito’s “off night” vs Oscar would have dismissed as an off night. Hopkins had been champion since 1995 and considered an excellent fighter. It would’ve also been for 3 belts the WBA, WBC and IBF. I don’t know if it would’ve been bigger than Arguello over Pryor but it would’ve been huge. Because for as great as we view Hopkins now, in 2001 he had not received the respect he has today from the boxing community. Hopkins WIN over Tito is actually bigger than Tito’s hypothetical win over Hopkins. If Pernell Whitaker would have gotten the official decision over Julio Cesar Chavez then it would have simply been the best win of the 90s. It’s a shame Whitaker didn’t get the official verdict. I saw your comment about Sha’Carri Richardson and I can’t help but to think she was set up. Marijuana is legal in the state she smoked in and it shouldn’t be illegal to smoke by Olympic standards. I know you’re a fair dude Bread but we disagree on this. On another topic do fighters get tested for marijuana also? Bread’s Response: First of all yes boxers do get tested for marijuana. In fact there have been fighters who have had wins turned into NC because of positive marijuana results. Let me preface my comments about Ms. Richardson. I would love to see her compete and win. My daughter runs the 100m, 200m and 400m. Richardson is from the USA and I want to see her beat the Jamaicans who have had a strong hold on the sprints.  Now what I said is the people are using the WRONG argument to defend her. I would love to see marijuana not be on the BANNED list. But the fact is, it’s on the list and the committee has their reasons why. They believe it slows the reaction time which can be dangerous on the track. They also believe it sets a bad example for younger athletes and it can be used as a MASKING agent for more powerful substances. These aren’t my rules. These are the rules of the testing agency. Ms. Richardson was well aware.  The best argument that can be used is that marijuana should not be on the banned substance list. Period. The rule is archaic and it shouldn’t be in existence anymore. The arguments I keep hearing is “keep that same energy yall had with Michael Phelps.” And that Sha’Carri Richardson was SET UP. Those are ridiculous arguments. When you’re wrong. Ask for GRACE. Be accountable and hopefully things work out. First let’s address the Michael Phelps case. Phelps didn’t test positive for marijuana. A photo surfaced of him 6 months AFTER the Olympics smoking a BONG. Phelps was suspended for 3 months and lost sponsorship. He could’ve fought that but he didn’t. There would be no way to prove what was in the BONG despite us knowing and using common sense what it was. Remember it’s not what you know, it’s what you can prove. You can’t compare that to Richardson testing positive a month before the Olympics. It’s just not the same. Remember I want Richardson to win, but we look foolish making WRONG points. At least research before you say ridiculous stuff.  When I first read that she tested positive I said to myself maybe she used a topical solution for muscle soreness and instead of having CBD in it, it had THC in it. I was literally making excuses for her because I couldn’t believe the press head lines. To hear her say, she knows what the rules were. She did it because of the stress of her mom dying, there was nothing I or anyone else could say. This wasn’t a MISTAKE, it was poor judgment. When you use the word set up you better be careful. I have seen black athletes put through hard times or be held to a higher standard than other athletes. I have seen injustice. In this case a young lady suffered bad news and she decided to smoke marijuana, despite knowing the rules. In order for her to have been set up the committee would have had to have a hand in her mother dying and/or know that Richardson would smoke to relieve stress. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Also illegal and banned have two different meanings. Marijuana is a banned substance. It can be legal in Oregon but it’s banned to use during or around competition. Please stop conflating the meanings. Let’s just hope they remove the ban all together and allow her run. But no it wasn’t a set up. And no this is not the same as the Michael Phelps case. It’s ok to support Sha’Carri Richardson and still hold her accountable.  She didn’t use a steroid but unfortunately as of now, marijuana is banned.  Hi Bread, Hope you and your family are doing well. My question to you is regarding Loma and his latest fight against Nakatani. During the week leading to the fight, Loma and his team let everybody know that he had an injury in camp, 3 weeks before the Teo fight. Loma's manager said that Papachenko wanted to postpone the fight (which Loma refused), and that Loma's right shoulder popped in the 2nd round after a jab (he only really used his right hand again starting in the 7th round, supposedly when he understood that he would lose otherwise).It was obvious that Loma chose Nakatani to send a message to Teofimo and the world, and God knows that the message has been received !Besides being a "vintage Loma performance", as Tim Bradley said, I have to admit that I've never seen Loma with that big of a chip on his shoulder from the get go (we've seen glimpses of it when he was hit clean/hurt by Linares or Campbell, for example). He started letting his hands go after only half a round of assessing his opponent. It was obvious that his objectives in this fight was to show that he could takeover early (proof that he's learnt from his loss), and to hurt and stop Nakatani. What is your analysis of this fight ? And what do you think are the keys to victory for each fighter in the Loma/Lopez rematch? Thanks and greetings from North Africa. Bread’s Response: I thought Loma looked excellent. But reoccurring injuries are part of the game. This is not the first time Loma has been hurt. I honestly felt he dug so deep in the Linares fight, he hasn’t quite reached that form again since that night. This last performance was very close but Nakatani is too slow and gangly to deal with Loma, so this may be a case of the perfect style coupled with a motivated fighter coming off of a loss. I think Lopez needs to do what he did in the their first fight. Put rounds in the bank and keep the fight at long range for as long as he can. It’s not just height and reach. Lopez is not that much taller and longer than Loma. But he has a more commanding presence from Long range and he has to build points before Loma gets in his groove.  This match up could be a case of Jermaine Taylor vs Bernard Hopkins. Where as for some reason it took Hopkins time to break the range vs Taylor. Hopkins is clearly a better fighter than Taylor but Taylor who was excellent just gave him fits. We don’t know how good Lopez will be yet….but that comparison comes to mind.  Loma can say what he wants but Teofimo’s sharpness and power bothered him. It takes his body and mind time to warm up to Teofimo. He shoulder probably was hurt. I don’t doubt that. But I also know what I saw. Teofimo came out sharp, mean and forceful. Loma needed time to adjust to that. He didn’t want to get clipped. In this rematch he simply has to find a safe way to break the range earlier and get in his rhythm. It’s not as easy as everyone says of “just start earlier”. Well Teofimo has something to say about that. I think Loma has to work on his quickness in camp and find a way to get his jab working a little bit more. A jab finds rhythms and breaks rhythms.  Emile Griffith, not Griffin. Valdes was very underrated.  He lost a few early because he had mono and went back to Colombia to get better. I feared him more than I feared Monzon even though Monzon was the better fighter.  Valdes often fought to the level of his competition. Bennie matched up well with taller guys because of his jab, which was almost like a straight left and tall guys were not ready for it and had trouble getting accustomed to it. Valdes should have been in Canastota by now. There are guys in there who don't have his credentials but many of today's voters are imbeciles. Bread’s response: Thank you for the correction. The editor’s should have caught my mistake, lol. I love it when my old school readers write in to put me in my place and give me wisdom. I receive it with open arms. Let’s show some love for Rodrigo Valdes who is a top 2 or 3 middleweight of the 70s. I’ve watched a few of his fights and he could go! For some reason he had Brsicoe’s number the Philadelphia legend would have been champion if he could have figured out Valdes. Valdes beat Briscoe 3x and stopped him once. 2x with the title on the line.  Hey Bread, Love your work mate and your knowledge and insight on the mailbag each week just a couple of questions firstly on Canelo, although I admire the guy as he is a tremendous fighter, it puzzles me why he has gone on record in several interviews stating he will not face other Mexican fighters in the ring again he obviously has the star power and right to choose to face who ever he wants but I cant work out why? Do you have any ideas? If an American or British fighter said they wouldn't fight one of their own countrymen anymore they would be laughed at. Is it a case of him not wanting to spill Mexican blood on the canvas or some sort of patriotic thing I don't know  I think fights with the likes  of Gilberto Ramirez or Munguia would be absolutely huge especially on the Mexican holiday weekends! Also everyone seems to think he's going to walk right thru plant if and when the fight gets made but I have my doubts I think this will be one or if not the toughest fight of his career to steal  a quote of the first rocky movie  This man is dangerous and I think the last piece of the puzzle for Canelo at super mw will be the most risky fight for him.   Kind regards!   B from Western Sydney Australia  Bread’s Response: I never heard Canelo say that he wouldn’t fight a Mexican fighter. I know he’s fought a few in his career, Chavez Jr., Angulo etc. So I would have to read the context in how he said that. Munguia and Ramirez are nice opponents for him but the bigger opponents are Charlo, Andrade, Beterbiev and Plant. Then there is also David Benavidez who is Mexican American and wants the fight. If Benavidez beats one of the fighters I mentioned and earns a shot at Canelo, Canelo won’t be able to use that excuse. Let’s see what happens. I never read or heard Canelo say that.  I also believe that Caleb Plant will be a tough opponent for Canelo. Plant is better than Saunders. He’s taller, longer, faster and I believe he’s mentally tougher. I also see that he’s a more dedicated athlete. When you have extreme dedication you are willing to go through more to get the glory because you know you haven't cheated the grind. A fighter who gives his all at all times. A fighter who restricts his diet. A fighter who does all of the little things, will fight through those moments of crisis harder. I believe Plant is one of those fighters.  Obviously Plant will have to be better than he was vs Uzgategui and Truax. But I think he will be. Obviously he’s going to have to be stronger and not be bullied to the ropes. But I think he will be. Obviously Canelo has a serious heavybag routine where he punches THROUGH the target and Plant has to be aware of this. But I think he will be. I believe if Plant fights an ON THE MOVE fight. Oscar Valdez just fought one vs Berchelt but Plant has to be less violent than Valdez. Mayweather fought one vs Diego Corrales. Sambu Kalambay fought one vs Mike McCallum in their first fight. Muhammad Ali fought the best one in history vs Cleveland Williams.  If Plant can punch on the move he will frustrate Canelo. He’s going to score points. And most importantly, he will force Canelo to burn loads of energy by having to use his OWN legs to track him down. Canelo fights an energy efficient fight these days. His pressure is not like Joe Frazier’s or Henry Armstrong’s. It’s been said that Canelo’s stamina has improved. Well if Plant fights this type of fight, then that theory will be put to the test. This fight will come down to what style Plant decides to fight. There are fights I can see. There are fights I have to wait and see and assess later. Plant’s best chance to win is Stick and Move and not try to hit Canelo with anything big. The harder you try to punch Canelo the easier it is for him to counter. Plant has to throw fast stick punches. Sort of like how Calzaghe punches but obviously in his own form and body type. Jab Canelo's gloves, jab to distract him. Feint him. Move him around. Stay off the ropes. When Canelo presses him if he can’t hold the center, move until Canelo stops pressuring then go back to the center. Forget about the crowd. Just win baby. If he fights that fight. People will be pissed but the WIN for this fight is HUGE. I give you props for telling your truth about the fallout with Jrock. I still think you guys are better together and not apart. The young brother may be lost and it’s going to take some pride swallowing to resurrect the relationship. My question is assuming you aren’t training him, do you think he has a shot at the Charlo vs Castano winner? I’ve always been a big fan of his. I’ve watched several of his fights and that wasn’t him in the ring against Rosario. Bread’s Response: Yes I do think Jrock has a shot at the winner. It basically comes down to a few things. How engaged he is with his new trainer. Traveling to train is a load mentally and physically. If he can find someone to run a productive camp and figure out his body he has a shot. People always say he’s too small for 154lbs which is ridiculous. He’s big for the weight. He may not be the BIGGEST but he’s big for the weight. He has big quads, broad shoulders and a wide back. He’s 5’10.5” with very long arms of over 73 inches. He walks around heavy just like the rest of the guys in the division and he has to cut 25lbs-30lbs just like everyone else. If he finds someone to learn his body and know when to peak him out right, he’s right with those guys. The key is learning his body. He has very low body fat and he hasn’t made 154lbs in a year and a half. He may not even be a junior middleweight anymore.  Stylistically he matches up well with both guys. At his best he’s turned in a better performance than both ever have. So his high is higher than their highs have been. The issue is, is his low. He’s also turned in a lower performance than they ever have. The key will be his confidence and a trainer who is open to learning his body. It won’t be easy but far from impossible. Jrock would have been the favorite to beat both if the fights were made after he defeated Hurd.  I was going to bet Jermell Charlo but then you brought up how good Brian Castano was an amateur. You were right. He did beat Spence and Devrenchenko. My question is how much do you think amateur success translates to pro success? Bread’s Response: I would say 75% of the time it has a bearing. Usually the best amateurs are the best pros. Over the last 10 years it hasn’t been the case as much but it still relevant. Let’s look back. People consider Sugar Ray Robinson the best fighter ever. The Olympics weren’t as big in boxing in the 1940s. But Robinson was either 85-2 or 85-0 as an amateur.  Floyd Patterson was a great amateur. Our best in 1952. And he was one of our best fighters of the 50s. Muhammad Ali was our best amateur in 1960. Well it’s no need to get into what he was as a pro. Joe Frazier was our best amateur in 1964. We also know what he was as a pro. George Foreman was our best amateur in 1968. Again HOF as a pro. In 3 straight Olympics the Gold Medalist and the US’s best fighter turned out to be a HOF.  In 1976 we produced 5 Gold Medalist. 3 won titles. 2 became ATG in Michael Spinks and Ray Leonard. In 1980 Donald Curry was best amateur. He went on to be a HOF. In 1984 Evander Holyfield, Frank Tate, Pernell Whitaker, Meldrick Taylor, Mark Breland and Virgil Hill were medalist and turned out to be champions and or HOF as pros. In 1988 Roy Jones, Riddick Bowe, Michael Carbajal and Ray Mercer all medalist all turned out to be champions. Carbajal, Jones and Bowe HOF. In 1992 Oscar de La Hoya was our best amateur. HOF as a pro.  In 1996 Floyd Mayweather, Antonio Tarver, David Reid all won medals. All win titles as pros. 2004 we had one Gold Medalist. Andre Ward. HOF as a pro. 2008 Gary Russell, Demetrius Andrade and Deontay Wilder were the best fighters on the Olympic team. They still remain towards the top of their games today. In almost 100 fights as pros they have 2 losses. In 2012 Errol Spence was the best fighter on that team. He’s still the best from the team.  In 2016 Shakur Stevenson, Gary Russell and Charles Conwell were the standouts. None of them have taken a loss yet. Stevenson the only medalist is the best so far as a pro. Historically domestically and internationally the very best amateurs have about 75% of the time been our best pros. You do have cases like Terence Crawford who was around the 2008 team. He’s our best fighter overall from that time. Read the full article

[dailyaudiobible]

04/05/2021 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 28:1-68, Luke 11:14-36, Psalms 77:1-20, Proverbs 12:18

Today is the 5th day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you today as we continue to move forward. And still kind of in this Easter glow, this whole season that leads up to this moment where we really live into all things being made new, and that actually a shift has happened. And, so, now we live into that. All that we've allowed the Lord to rearrange in our hearts and minds and lives, we move forward from this place with a newness, with a new sense of direction and purpose. And, so, let's dive in. We’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week. And we are continuing our journey through the book of Deuteronomy. That will take us…I think that will take us the remainder of this week to conclude. And just start remembering that this is what Moses has to say. And some of this is review because he's reviewing. These are the things that he has to say before he dies. This is what he’s saying to the people that he's led out of Egypt and that they need to remember when he’s gone. So, we pick up. Deuteronomy chapter 28.

Commentary:

Okay. Let’s just consider what we read in the book of Proverbs, very short, a single sentence. “There is one who speaks rashly like a piercing sword.” So, let's stop there for second. “Speaks rashly.” We are all guilty, right? We are all guilty of at some point speaking rationally, right, without thinking about what we’re saying, without considering the consequences of what we might be saying. This seems to be a thing and going around and we…it’s just like part of the human condition. We do this stuff all the time, but wisdom in the Proverbs is saying that's…that's like a piercing sword. So, if we stop thinking about the things that we say, and then put ourselves in the position of things that are being said to us, when somebody’s speaking aggressively and rationally without considering the consequences toward us, attacking us in some way it does feel like that, right, a piercing sword. This theme is throughout the Scriptures, the fact that words actually do matter, that they're not harmless, that they're not benign, that they sort of set the stage for what’s gonna happen in action. So, I don't know, let’s…two…two men walking down the street, they don't just randomly decide to start punching each other, right? They’re just walking down the street. They don't even know each other. If they do, they don't have an offense against each other, they’re just walking down the street. But when someone says something rash to the other like a piercing sword then action can take place that can be profoundly destructive. So, that happens between two people. I mean we can take this inside our house with our spouse, and apply it there and understand that the same truth applies between two people, but that same truth expands to all people. And, so, groups of people can be behaving this way toward other groups of people. And all we gotta do is start opening up the human…the history books of humanity to see where this goes. So, wisdom tells us, yeah, there…there is one who speaks rashly, and they speak like…like a piercing sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing. So, that's one sentence. And that one sentence says an awful lot about our lives, about the state of our lives, about the trajectory of our lives because we basically have a rutter that lives behind our teeth that steers the way our lives go. And it's not inconsequential and it's not harmless, it's very powerful. In fact, the Scriptures will ultimately tell us as we get a little bit deeper into them that the power of life and death is in our words, is in the tongue. It’s famous so we probably already know that. But if it's true let’s just think for a second that the power of life and death is in the tongue. Why do we not pay attention to the kind of power we’re carrying around all day every day? Like, how is it that that power can be unleashed typically for destruction before we can even rein it in? Maybe wisdom would call us to pay attention. Maybe wisdom would call us to bring healing with our tongues instead of destruction, blessing instead of cursing. Maybe that would change our life. Maybe we don’t have to say maybe. That would change our whole life. Do we want that? That would require discipline then wouldn’t it? That would require surrender. That would require that we're not trying to insulate to protect ourselves, but rather we are surrendered to God and we are relying on Him to protect us. We don't have to carve out anything against anybody to have an identity.

Prayer:

Father, we invite You into that. This is so profound. This wisdom is so profound that it would change our lives if we would listen. Holy Spirit help us to remember. Holy Spirit help us to listen before we speak. We ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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And, so, that’s one thing that should continue to reverberate in and among us in around here, but this is also where to find how to get connected, like Community section of the website or for that matter of the app, will lead you to the Prayer Wall and different links to get connected.

And then there's the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are resources there that were made for this journey for this journey. And, so, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey DAB family my name is Jermaine and I'm incarcerated, and I listen to you guys daily basically. I wake up with you guys on my mind and I just pray for you guys and I keep you guys in my mind all the time. And I just want to thank the…I just want to thank Brian and this DAB family for so much encouragement and for so much encouragement and so much prayer. I am literally on a jail call right now leaving this message because the spirit has helped me to pick the phone up to have my loving cousin who is on the end of this phone call but Lord, I'm calling for a prayer request. I'm calling that I be strengthened, that I'm being strengthened in this kind time of darkness, that I know that the Lord works all things, that God works ways out of no way. You see for Him to give me the revelation to keep Him in my heart, to keep Him on my mind, to always seek Him, to want better...Lord…Lord I just I need…I need you guys to pray for me, I need these prayers, I need these prayers because I know in my mind no matter what I go through and no matter what God puts me through that He will take me through. I know He will because I serve a good God. I serve a loving God, a God over all things, a God that created all things. So, DAB family I need your prayers and I'm…I’m praying for each and every last one of you as I listen to this because I have so much time in the world right now being in prison. I'm…I'm Jermaine and I'm calling from Rochester NY. I'm incrassated in the Monroe County facility. And, Oh my God it's just it's so amazing what Brian and the Hardin family is doing and it's…it's just so wonderful that God’s using all of you guys as vessels...

Hi DAB family this is Susie from Colorado. I love you guys. I pray for you every day. You're my family. I just cannot tell you how much I adore this family and Brian and his family. I need prayer please. My husband and I have orphanages in Haiti. We…we raise the children. We don't send them out for adoptions. We…most of our children are disabled or very, very sick. And sometimes they get well. I've seen so many miracles. But we have just taken in the last few days a little boy that we named Elijah and he has hydro cephalic syndrome and I’m devastated because I'm being told that now it’s inoperable and he will soon go blind and then lose any ability to eat on his own or even think on his own and that his brain will slowly die. I come against this. I…I don't…I'm…I’m not accepting that. That's what, you know, what man says. But I'm just really praying to God, He would intervene this time for Elijah seven months old like He has so many times. I have witnessed babies being told that we…we…we were…they wouldn't live to be six months old, and they lived to be…some of them are 29 years old now. So, I just don't believe that. And I know it's all because of prayer. So, please pray for my husband and I and for this very large family that we have in Haiti. Please pray for Elijah. Please save his brain and his life. In Jesus’ name.

Hi there, DAB this is Vonnie from Northern California and I'm responding to a couple of calls I heard this morning. It's April 1st and mommy's Little Rock, I am so sorry that you lost your mom. It's so hard to lose a mom. I lost mine almost a couple years ago now. There's nothing like a mother's love and no one can replace your mom but it's good to know that there are others praying for you. And I'm praying that the Lord will bring just loads of comfort and peace and encouragement your way. Please finish your book. Please get back to writing. And I pray for motivation. That book is going to bless people. Do it for your mom's sake to honor her. And I pray that you will just sense God's love and comforting arms around you. But on the heels of that call, oh Beloved in Texas you just cracked me up. And there's a sermon illustration in that story even though it was just so funny. It's great to laugh at ourselves. But how often do we sit in our own mess and just look good on the outside and pretend everything's OK. I do that. I sit in my own mess and pretend everything's OK. But when we confess to one another our need it's great to have others pray for us and get cleaned up. And, so, thank you for sharing that story. It made me laugh today but thank you for everybody for sharing your stories. We really do need to pray for one another, that the Lord will really clean us. Every…every day is new. Blessings everybody. Have a good one. Bye-bye.

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is James the teacher in LA. I have the heaviest heart in the world. I know I called in a couple weeks ago after not really being a part of the community for maybe two or three years. I lost track but I had said that my wife and I were going through a really hard time. In the meantime, she asked for a two-week separation during a session of couples counseling. And at the end of that two weeks, she said that she…her mind was made up where she wants a divorce. And even saying the words out loud…I've been mulling it over and talking about it with people since Saturday the 22nd. And I'm still devastated. It was facing my own suicidal thoughts that first drove me to Jesus over 20 years ago. There’s been one other time since then when my life was so low that I considered it. But I've hit that spot again worse than ever in my whole life and I'm talking with my therapist and I have a safety plan for those of you have been through losing someone to suicide, so I don’t want to scare anybody, but…but my whole life is just in flames. So, I'm praying for my children. And I still love my wife even when I'm angry…so angry. Please pray for me. Thanks.

Mommy's Little Rock in Arkansas this is God's Life Speaker. I too lost my mom on the 1st of January and I heard you, not only this year when you had called in about your mom. I definitely know how you feel. I too am writing and my mom was the center of all things, someone to bounce everything off of but she is in a much better place for my mom really suffered in the end. And, so, I am grateful, I am sure you are too, that they are in the presence of Jesus. But that doesn't make our earthly walk any easier. The only place we really have to turn to is God and I know you know that as you turned to this family to pray for you. Psalm 73:26 says my flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. So, Mommy's Little Rock in Arkansas because you are a rock. I've heard you call in and you are a joy raising your kids the right way. I know your mom taught you and you will pass that along. Keep her alive with her kids. So, may the Lord bless you, may the Lord keep you, may the Lord make His face shine upon you Mommy's Little Rock and Arkansas and may He be gracious to you. May He give you peace in the name of Jesus Mommy’s Little Rock in Arkansas. Let God rise up. Joy up. Speak life. Keep your mom alive through all the stories you have to share. God bless you Mommy's Little Rock.

[kazamastar]

🌟 Music Quizz 2 - 2021 Version

List 10 musical artists you like, in no specific order. Do this before reading.

1. J. Cole

2. Notorious BIG

3. Dvsn

4. Nekfeu

5. Damso

6. Lil Uzi Vert

7. Miguel

8. Saint Jhn

9. Travis Scott

10. Tayc

What was the first song you heard by number 5?

What are your favorite lyrics by number 6?

Might be "Macarena", by spring/summer 2017.

"I don’t really care ‘cause I’m done

On the real, our love is not fun

There’s no emotion on my face 'cause I’m numb"

- Lil Uzi Vert

(Hard to pick only one quote from that top tier lyricist tho)

What is your favorite song by number 8?

Borders (or wedding day, too hard to pick only one)

What impact has number 1 had on your life?

What an interesting question. I'll try to not be too long because there's a lot to say about J. Cole. I like him because when every other rappers brag about their new grillz, new whips, new diamonds, J. Cole tries to be the humblest he can be. He wrote the song "Love yourz", in which he says "ain't no life that's better than yours" and his words really spoke to me. Even 6 years later. He wrote a lot of songs that touched me but there's a perfect J. Cole song for every moment. Plus ... The values man. He got dissed by Lil Pump (i guess?) and instead of being agressive and going into those boring clashs, he made a track back but simply explaining his point of view etc, but all of that without being agressive. He's one of those who deserve to be called GOATs. And I'm also happy to say that I listen to him since 2012 😁

When did you first get into 2?

I guess it was in 2017. The first song I heard from him was "Juicy" and it was awesome. I knew it was a song from Biggie but then I realized I've never been much curious about him so I fixed that real quick and I came to the conclusion that he was soooo good, imo better than Tupac (yeah I know that's an unpopular opinion but nvmd)

How did you get into number 3?

Gueds it was in 2017 with the track "with me". But I can't remember how I discovered it. But I know when I discovered the album "Sept 5th", i fell in love with 5 (/10) tracks of the project so it's hard to remember which song i discovered first but all of these were on a whole another level (With me - Try/effortless - do it well - in + out - hallucinations)

What is your favorite song by 4?

Nekketsu (by Nekfeu)

How many times have you seen 9 live?

0.

Favorite album by 7?

Funny question because I listened to "Kaleidoscope dream" and "wildheart" a few days ago. And I took time to listen (tip : these are great albums to listen to while you're rubbing someone's back) but it would be very difficult to chose. KD (in which i liked 7/13 songs) is more consistent and simply sounds more Rnb, whereas wildheart really has a rock vibe mixed with rnb. The result is good but not my favorite thing, or at least, i think keeping this sound on the whole album is a bit too much for me. So on this later album i only like 4 tracks but they're really awesome (coffee - waves - leaves - simple things). So I simply can't tell ahah

What’s your favorite song of 1?

If I must chose one it will be "born sinner" but I have to mention also : crooked smile, let Nas down, apparently and love yourz.

How did you become a fan of number 10?

First I didn't like what we could hear from him on the radio etc... But on "La mienne - Acoustayc 3" he really convinced me and I finally understood what incredible artist he was

What songs by number 4 do you listen to the least?

All Nekfeu did before 2015/16. I wasn't a big fan of his crew (1995) so I wasn't very curious about what he did before I started to listen to him.

Top two favorite songs by 5?

I'm asked to give 2 but I'll give 3. His most interesting song is "mosaique solitaire". He has the best flow+instrumental on "smog". But "kin la belle" will forever be one of my favorite.

Have you seen 10 live?

Nope

Have you met 1?

Nope

What’s your favorite album by 4?

Still a hard question. But cyborg is really on another level (even though les etoiles vagabondes was incredible)

Favorite lyrics of 2?

"If the game shakes me or breaks me, I hope it makes me a better man, take a better stand."

Notorious BIG

Which have you known the longest?

Jermaine Cole

What is your favorite song by 9?

"Drugs, you should try it"

#music quizz #2

[malojey]

Day 19

Probably the best day I've had since starting this betterment stuff

Albums - 2014 Forest Hills Drive, The Blow Up by J.Cole, Revenge of The Dreamers III by Dreamville and just about everyone else in the game, fucking golden

Positive - Aside from 4:25 to about 5, today was positive in general. Started great w RL n Flo, having time with CD and Flo was great. Slow day in work but 4 lines and a post 10 minutes before my bus helped end on a high. Swigged one w DT and JM which I'll try make time for more often.

Restarted Rick and Morty and I'm so glad I did

Revenge of the dreamers is probably my fav album yet this year, verse on lambo truck about robbing jcole and top dawg has to get a mention, same with "niggas got me tight like Arthur's fist and shit, like I'm not an arsonist and shit"🤣 too many too mention but dammit I love it so much. Jermaine really is a fucking god

Valuable lesson today is confidence is key to anything, take charge of the conversation and even if it's absolute shit talking once its said with confidence it's a win👀 (rereading note, even tho I wrote yesterdays one locked and forgot half of it I think it carried over subconsciously with the confidence thing, but still gotta "stick the landing"🤣🤣)

Gym starts tomorrow, shitting it

Discussed acid w GP, hes all for it once I feel I'm ready, gonna read up on it, give it some thought

[finnsword]

finn??

do I like them: i would take a bullet for finn mertens id sell my soul to a demon and all my organs if it gave him five minutes of happiness id do anything for that boy!!

5 good qualities: -his development through the show is literally the best part of at and watching finn grow is just so good?? -how much he loves jake i just love their relationship-he’s really grown into a real hero hes got billy BEAT by this point and hes not even 17 yet!-literally some of the funniest lines in recent seasons have come from finn, my personal fav is ‘now i get to look like an idiot while i freeze to death!-the way his trauma/depression is depicted is Relatable and also healing i love finn mertens please let him be happy again

3 bad qualities:-WHILE HES GROWN SINCE THEN god he was awful in fire and water and the red throne, the way he treated fp was urgh the red throne sucked all along-this is the show fault but why does he have to keep killing other versions of himself stop it-i cant think of a third i love him

favourite episode/etc: this is so hard but uhhh either music hole or helpers/the light cloud

otp: finn/happiness

brotp: finn and jake obviously and finn and fern

ot3: topping you with a brot4, finn jake jermaine and fern hanging out as brothers its there in the light at universe i know it

notp: romantic finn/fern and every ship that has him with an adult can go die

best quote: sjskkssj there’s probably better ones his line to minerva about helping people makes me emotional every time

head canon: finn mertens is autistic and there’s nothing you can do about it

#lava spurts #im his biggest fan

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews: What We Do in the Shadows

**SPOILERS BELOW**

I’ve wanted to watch this film for a while and was so happy to see it’s on Amazon Prime for free! So, now I can write down....

My Top Ten Thoughts on What We Do in the Shadows:

10. The “Mockumentary” style of filming: I have always loved shows like Parks and Recreation and The Office, that try to mimic a documentary. It works perfectly for this movie, which follows around four vampires from various time periods. It’s a great style of filming for this funny concept. Even the inclusion of classic “vampire” imagery works well here.

9. The Tropes of Vampires throughout Literature and Pop Cultured are Satirized and Explored: I love how they take stereotypes of vampires and apply them to a modern context and explore how each would react. For example, the “master and slave” situation between humans and vampires, how vampires would get “invited” into the club, or even  how vampires “lure” their meals in...the concepts they explore work well and were creative and funny!

8. Peter is scary: The eldest of the group, an 8,000 year old vampire named Peter, is definitely a tribute to Nosferatu, and is probably the scariest thing about the movie. That’s not saying much, as the movie isn’t particularly “horrific,” even with the gore, but he has some moments to definitely put one on edge.

7. Nick is a “dick:” Nick, a newly made vampire, is the obvious antagonist throughout the first half of the film. His “transformation,” or rather the lead up to it, is actually almost scary. Nick’s character is that of a “new vampire,” and he can’t keep his mouth shut about that, with hilarious and frustrating results. Deacon, his vampire “brother,” is particularly frustrated with him, and for good reason. Nick causes a lot of conflict in the film, which we’ll touch base on more below. But, for the most part, he’s my least favorite part about the film...a character you just “love to hate.”

6. Handling Reflections: Probably one of my favorite gimmicks they play with in the film is that of reflections and how since they can’t see themselves in the mirror, they rely on themselves to make sure their fashion sense is alright. It results in some really funny scenarios throughout the movie.

5. New Zealand as the Setting: The movie takes place in Wellington, New Zealand, but you would only notice by the characters’ accents. The activities that go on, the locations, etc. all are pretty universal in nature, which is nice; especially if you’re not sure about any “in jokes” because of the filming location.

4. Stu and the Werewolves: Stu, Nick’s friend, ends up befriending the group and for a while, you see them all get along with their human friend...of course, by the end of the film, they encounter a pack of werewolves, who maul poor Stu. The good news? Stu luckily doesn’t die, but comes back as a werewolf and everyone gets along. Stu’s character was so comedic-ally fun because of his clearly “boring IT tech assistant” persona; I was glad he didn’t pass away. Also, the special effects on the werewolves were actually pretty good!

3. Jermaine Clement as Vladislav: If you’ve not watched the comedy band Flight of the Conchords, you may not know who Jermaine Clement is, but I love him as an actor and comedian. His humor is unique and dry and his performance is a highlight of the film.  He is fantastic in this, combining the faux “Fabio” suaveness he naturally carries and the dry humor he brings from his other projects. His friends on the Flight of the Conchords television series also make welcomed appearances.

2. The “Ball”: Towards the climax of the film, they all attend a ball filled with Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, and Zombies. Each have their own stereotypes played upon, to some very funny results, especially the Zombies. It was cool seeing them play around with this concept, and if they ever made another of these films, it would be cool for them to return back to these groups to explore more.

1. Taika Waititi as Viago: Viago is the vampire that is the “middle child,” and the one that narrates most of the story. Waititi’s performance is very good in this, as he taps into the charm and innocence in as much as a vampire can have. He also has a plot thread that plays out through the film with a very fun ending, which I won’t ruin here.

The Verdict?

If you like “mockumentaries” like The Office, and if you like Vampires, this will be a fun movie to watch. At times, the humor lulls, or maybe doesn’t hit as strong as it could, but I laughed out loud several times and found myself entertained. Definitely go rent it!

#what we do in the shadows #jermaine clement #vladislav #viago #taika waititi #deacon #nick #mocumentary #rhetorical ink reviews #my top 10 thoughts #vampire #vampires #movie review #comedy #horror #zombies #werewolves

[eyez-ff-blog]

○○ eyez | fifty-five

“Fuck, this place is huge. This’d be easier without lugging around a child,” Beija huffed as she walked through the arena’s venue with the couple of personnel who were instructed to show her around.

“At least you still get to go places, sis. I miss you guys already,” Ib laughed softly as Beija glanced over the rows of chairs that the other attendants were setting up. “How has your day been, though?” He asked.

“Long,” Beija glanced over the stage set-up, and she nodded as she watched the technicians work on the LED screen that would hold some of the visual images Jermaine had put together. “Had my usual morning meditation, then we came down to check everything out. J’s got rehearsal within the next hour, then I have to meet up with the VIPs to help them towards sound check,” She listed off as they headed towards the ‘backstage’ area.

“I see you got it all locked down. But you know Perry is there in my place if you need anything done that you can’t handle yourself,” Ib mumbled, and Beija soon heard the soft cooing of one of his twins.

“Yep, I’ll keep that in mind. Although you could have gotten someone that’s not so newt looking,” Beija noticed one of the personnel snickering at her comment.

“You lose all tact when you get pregnant, you know that? Nicole too—what’s up with that?” Beija laughed at Ibrahim’s genuine confusion.

“Hush that up. But I’m gonna go so I can get this shit together. Kiss my nieces and Nic for me,” She requested.

“You know I will. Love you, B; tell J I said good luck tonight,” Ib concluded.

“Alright. See ya,” Beija hung up the phone before she slipped her phone into the pocket of her pants, glancing up as she continued to walk alongside the two members of personnel.

“Okay, here are our dressing rooms for the performers. Do you have a list of Mr. Cole’s request for his room?” One of them asked, and Beija passed over the packet of papers that included everything that Jermaine would need. “Good. We should have everything ready for him before 5:30 today.”

“Wonderful! I think I got it from here, then. Thanks so much,” Beija watched as they walked away, and she let out a soft sigh. “Here we go again,” She mumbled to herself.

It had been so long since Jermaine had did another tour—he opted out on touring during the ‘Eyez’ era, mainly because of wanting to be with Beija and Janiya since at the time, the girl was still so young. But now they were all on the road together for the Reborn Live Sessions. While daddy and mommy worked, Janiya got to spend her days as a tourist with Gina, who took care of her during the day. Beija was actually kind of excited about the new tour, mainly because she knew Niya would be able to experience her father perform for the first time.

At her age, Niya knew that her father liked to do music but probably had no real idea how far Jermaine’s influence ran; she probably wouldn’t know for real until she was much older. But Beija was just happy to be able to bring her child along for the tour and be able to ‘relive the glory days’ in a way. It was being on tour with Jermaine back during the ‘Forest Hills Drive’ era that made her fall in love with the man, although she wouldn’t admit it then. She had gained a best friend that summer and eventually he became the love of her life. Now she’d probably feel those feelings all over again, and her daughter and unborn son would be able to feel that magic too.

Since Selina and Sabrina were still so young, Ibrahim decided to stay home with Nicole this time around, and he left Beija ‘in charge’ of everything that went throughout the tour. She was given an assistant, Perry, but with the way Beija was she’d probably handle everything by herself. She had to make sure that everyone had their share of things together, from the band and various DJs to the light and tech crew, down to the artists themselves. This time around, Jermaine decided that aside from a hand-picked local artist that would be a part of the opening act, there wouldn’t be any other artists performing aside from Dreamville members. Just as Reborn was his most personal album, he wanted this tour to feel just as personal and wanted it to feel almost like a family reunion. It actually would be, in a way—Jermaine definitely wasn’t the only person who had been working hard in the last couple of years, and everyone had material that they wanted to share on the massive scale. Everyone felt like this was the label’s year to shine, and they were working hard to make that to be true.

“Hey boss lady,” Beija turned around before she squealed loudly, walking over to Abbas before throwing her arms around him in a huge hug. “It’s been a while,” He laughed as he rocked her from side to side.

“You damn right it has! And you are so getting fought, dude—you weren’t gonna tell me you and my best friend got together?” Beija smacked his chest, and he laughed a bit as he rubbed the spot where she hit him.

“My bad, my bad. I know I probably should have said something but clearly, Lauren told you first,” He said.

“Of course she did. She’s been trying to get at you since me and J’s wedding. It was so obvious,” She said as the two began to walk together. “And you know Cody and Yana got together too? Like, you’re all growing up on me and I’m so over it,” She huffed.

“That ain’t shit compared to this nigga,” He gestured towards Damon, who was coming down the stairs from the ground floor above them. “This fucker eloped!”

“Huh?” Damon hit the last step before jumping down onto the ground, meeting Beija halfway in a hug. “Stop tellin’ my business, nigga,” He mumbled before he rubbed Beija’s head gently. “How’s my niece? I saw her on Instagram over at the local zoo,” He said.

“Niya is doing fine as usual. Spoiled as ever—I know Cody gonna lose his mind when he sees her. All she asks about is Uncle Cody,” Beija chuckled a bit. “But can we talk about what I just heard? You eloped?” She asked.

“Uhm...not entirely? I just got married and didn’t tell y’all,” Dame said softly before he rubbed the back of his neck.

“You and Sara are shitheads. That’s all that is,” Bas commented, and Beija’s face of confusion seemed to only deepen.

“So, all of you are just gonna fuck and marry my friends? This is foolish,” She laughed a bit.

“I know you not talking. All four of y’all got some kind of voodoo. That’s how Jermaine got stuck on you,” Bas joked.

“Mhm. Old ass still gets googly eyed over you,” Dame began to laugh.

“Y’all gonna leave my husband alone. All these years and y’all still ain’t shit,” She chuckled before she felt two hands cover her eyes.

“Guess who,” Cody’s voice made Beija laugh, and she turned to give him a hug. “And I see Thing 1 and Thing 2 are here as well. Fuck is up?” He dapped up the other men as he spoke.

“Updating Beija on shit. Apparently she didn’t know Dame got married,” Bas explained casually.

“Wait—what? Married to who? Sara?” Cody asked with a furrowed brow.

“See?! He a whole hoe. Got married and told nobody,” Beija complained.

“Look, it just kinda...happened. I had a show in Vegas and she had been riding with me while I did the gig. It started as a joke but then...bam. We were at the chapel then we got an actual license when I got back to Chicago,” Dame explained with a small laugh. “I didn’t think y’all would take it so hard.”

“Take what so hard?” Jermaine was the last to arrive to the makeshift ‘pow wow,’ running a hand over his head before he adjusted the sweats he had on.

“Baby, Dame got married,” Beija announced.

“Oh. Yeah, he did,” He said.

“Wait, how the fuck did you know before us?” Cody seemed to still be in shock, and the reactions seemed to only make Bas laugh obnoxiously.

“Y’all could have just went to Sara’s Instagram and see that. It was obvious what they were doing,” J shrugged a bit before chuckling. “Anyway—everyone good for tonight? Where’s everyone else?” He asked.

“Don’t know. I know I saw Lil’ J around here. Courtney just got here,” Beija explained as she looked through her phone. “Z and Whit are on the way,” She added.

“You know what’s insane about this? It’s been a while since we all been together like this. And I remember when all of us were all together. I remember when I met you, B,” Cody commented, sliding his hands into his pockets.

“I do too. You thought it’d be cute to prank me on my first day. I could have beat your ass, I was so mad,” Beija rolled her eyes as Dame and Bas let out a chuckle.

“I have a question. Just one,” Beija noticed Jermaine’s smile as he watched her. “Why exactly was I the last to meet you? All these years, I never really got a clear answer,” He said.

“Between getting school wrapped up and everything else, I didn’t have time,” Beija shrugged.

“But you made time to meet everyone else,” J’s playful argument seemed to be geared towards a certain goal, and it only made Beija huff playfully.

“You must still think I was ducking you,” She crossed her arms.

“You were,” Bas began to laugh. “And I can see why now. Y’all are something else together.”

“I refuse to have this conversation with any of you fuckers. I have work to do,” Beija laughed softly before she pulled out her phone. “Y’all are due for a check with the band in about 10 minutes. Then J, you need to meet up with me so we can see about this sound check for later,” She instructed.

“Got it boss lady. Don’t stress too much,” Cody patted the top of her head lightly, moving out of the way before Beija could smack him as she desired to. Before long, she and Jermaine were left in the area together.

“Tell the truth,” Jermaine broke the comfortable silence, and Beija softly groaned. “Tell the truth and I’ll drop it,” He said.

“Okay, fine. I was intentionally holding off meeting you,” Beija frowned as she glanced up at him. “Happy now?”

“No. It wasn’t for my happiness,” Jermaine stepped closer to her and he slid his hands in front of his body, standing up straight as he stared down at her. “Why, though? I wasn’t anyone to be avoiding,” He reasoned.

“You weren’t. But you know the saying; ‘never meet your heroes.’ I was afraid of meeting you because my heart would have been broken if you turned out to be some jerk. But the irony of it all was that you exceeded all expectation or hope I had for you, and that was scarier as we got to know one another,” Beija explained, and the silence in the hall was a bit eerie. Every so often, some workers would pass them with equipment as they took it towards the stage area. But even with all of the occasional noise, Beija never took her eyes off of Jermaine.

“If you knew what you know now—if you could have predicted and envisioned us, what we became—would you do it all again?” He asked.

Beija gave a slow nod, a bit surprised at her willingness to be so honest. “The only thing I could wish was that you weren’t married, so nobody would have had to deal with that shit. But if I could take this ride with you again, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

It was a rarity these days to not be able to read Jermaine’s eyes—over the years, Beija had become so in-tune with the man that she could just look at him and know what he was feeling to an extent. Even the things he wouldn’t tell her could be written in his expression, and when he looked into her eyes it no longer felt as if he was looking through her, but trying to speak to her in ways words couldn’t assist properly. But for the first time in a long time, she couldn’t read his expression and she felt vulnerable again. She once again felt like that young girl who had just started out with Dreamville, meeting the man she called her hero...the man that at the time, she didn’t think she’d love as strongly as she did in the moment.

She watched as he took a step forward, and he leaned down to peck her lips gently. Her eyes slowly closed as he slid his hand up her cheek, her face heating a bit when he kissed her cheek afterwards. She opened her eyes only when he pulled away, and she watched him walk down the hallway. She could see a pep in his walk, and with that she knew that he was more than satisfied with her answer. She could have easily asked him the same question, but from simple everyday actions, she knew what the answer would be now, and forever.

The stadium was filled with bodies; the first night of the tour would be in Minneapolis, and the camp would continue to travel through the Midwest for the first leg. After a two week break they’d hit the East Coast and part of the South before wrapping up with the rest of the South and the West Coast. Then there was the European and Asian legs, and that was a whole other monster to deal with. By that time, Beija would definitely be home with her kids by then. She did enjoy the thought of being at home once her son was born, but she was glad that she could get a chance to see Jermaine perform. She felt the energy from every person in the space and her excitement couldn’t be contained.

“Here we are,” Gina came through the door of the dressing room, with Janiya not too far behind. Beija held her arms out and the toddler came towards the couch before climbing into the woman’s lap. “She just used the restroom and we had dinner, so she should be all good,” Gina announced.

“Good, thanks Gi,” Beija looked down at the little girl who was already dressed in a child’s version of the tour t-shirt. “Did you have fun with Miss Gina?” She asked.

“Mhm,” Niya laid her head against Beija’s stomach, and B couldn’t help but to smile at the way Janiya watched Jermaine as he got himself ready in the mirror.

“Alright, I’m ready,” He yawned softly as he stood up straight, dusting off his black t-shirt. “How are we on time?” He asked.

“Bas should be finishing his set soon and then you can get ready to go up,” Beija said, and J nodded before he approached the two females.

“Come give daddy some love,” Niya all but bolted into her father’s arms, and he scooped her into his arms before rocking her side to side. “You gonna watch me, right?” He asked, smiling wide when the girl nodded excitedly. “You need anything before I go on, babe?” He glanced over at Beija, who shook her head.

“Just need my good luck kiss,” She chuckled, and she pressed her lips to his once he came within her space. “I love you. You’re gonna do amazing,” She assured.

“I love you too,” He let Janiya down on the ground before he headed out of the room.

Beija slowly got off the couch before she sighed, rubbing her lower back. “Lord,” She huffed before she grabbed Niya’s hand. “Come on, bud. Let’s go watch daddy.”

After getting protective ear muffs for Janiya, the girls were led throughout the backstage area to a place where they could see Jermaine properly. Beija took a seat in the chair that was provided for her, and Janiya sat on her lap before the girl began to rub her mother’s stomach as she always did. Beija watched closely as the workers rushed to get the stage set up as more audience members filled the seats of the arena. Before long the place was packed with individuals, and the lights shut off to signify that the headliner was about to hit the stage. The crowd roared with applause and cheers, and Beija pulled out her phone as she taped the crowd from her seat. She turned the phone towards Janiya, who clapped unknowingly.

The sounds of a tape whirring came from the speakers, and one of Jermaine’s visuals came across the screen—it was a ‘tape’ of him as a child, rapping along with an old Outkast song. Soon the visual cut short and the LED screen showed a bright white light. Jermaine’s silhouette stood alone on the stage, and the audience’s noise grew even louder.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Janiya screeched, and Beija smiled softly as she wrapped an arm around the girl’s waist. The very song that Jermaine was rapping to as a child happened to be the sample for ‘830,’ one of the songs from the latest album. Thus, it set the tone for the evening.

Jermaine went through a creative process of picking his set list—he allowed the fans to vote on songs they wanted to hear on tour, so it made the show feel even more endearing. As J cranked out hits from back in the day down to the present, Beija was taken on a wild ride down memory lane. She could remember every single place she was when she first heard the songs he performed, from her college days to the time she got to know Jermaine, all the way to the songs she watched him record to create his last two albums. Even the songs that had darker material that depicted her depression brought more of a sweet memory than sour. She had gone through so much to get to that moment and although she didn’t exactly look upon those memories fondly, she realized the blessings that came with those struggles.

The show ended off with ‘Love Yourz’ mashed up with one of her favorite songs off of Reborn—as he rapped along with the old Forest Hills Drive track, he had a saxophone player perform along with the band as they performed the instrumental to the Reborn track that depicted the day he and Beija had gotten married. Every so often Jermaine would change up some of the lyrics to match his current life status, and once the song was over, the band went back to playing the original instrumentation for Love Yourz.

“Yo, this has been an incredible night. Make some fuckin’ noise,” Jermaine hyped, and the crowd played into it as they screamed and applauded for him. “It’s crazy, man. I remember performing Love Yourz every night last tour, and it reminded me so much of my best friend. She told me to inhale that love and energy, and release the doubt and negativity. Little did I know that every time I performed the song I’d think of her,” Beija watched his smile, and she felt her heart skip a beat as she blinked away her tears. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? And it’s all because of you all. Thank you for everything y’all do. Since y’all have done so much for me I feel like I owe y’all what I’m about to announce,” Beija’s eyebrows raised in question; J never said anything about any special announcements, so she was caught off guard. “Get this shit on camera, for once I want the world to know this—after this tour, I’m taking a break to be with my family. How long it will be, I don’t know. I’ve been telling y’all to ‘love yourz,’ and now it’s time for me to love mine.”

Beija’s mouth flung open as she heard the crowd’s equally mixed reaction. While overall supportive, some seemed absolutely devastated and confused. As Jermaine took his final bow and headed off stage, her eyes stayed upon him as his mic pack was taken off his body. She watched as Janiya got out of her grip and went to greet her father. She slowly got up from her chair and she followed the two of them back towards his dressing room. Even with the word of praise and thanks towards her husband, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him as a flurry of questions filled her head. She couldn’t articulate any of them, so she chose silence for the moment being.

After Jermaine got a shower and changed into some regular clothes, the family headed towards the tour bus to head out towards the next city. They only got stopped a couple of times for pictures and congratulations on the new baby from fans, but they got to their bus without much trouble. Once the three got onto the tour bus, all was silent as Jermaine pulled Janiya off the ground and into her arms. “I’ll get her ready for bed,” He mumbled.

“Okay,” Beija took a seat on the couch as she watched him walk towards their back room where their bedroom was. “Goodnight, Janiya.”

“Night-night,” Janiya waved before she laid her head upon Jermaine’s shoulder. Soon, Beija was alone in the front of the bus as she felt the bus begin to move.

Beija took a deep breath as she pulled her phone from the pocket of her jeans, and she glanced over the numerous social media notifications she had—TMZ already had an article ready and out; J. Cole Announces Possible Retirement, it said. Complex, Bossip, and other gossip outlets followed suit, while fans who were at the show had clips of Jermaine’s speech on their Twitter accounts. Her own Twitter accounts were a mess, from questions to even accusations of her being the reason why he was retiring. She wasn’t sure how to react to it. Once again, J had blindsided her and she would have to deal with what was to emerge from it.

She had 30 minutes or so to marinate within the thought—Jermaine finally came from the back and sat down in the seat across from Beija. The two looked at one another and it seemed that Beija’s questions could be heard without her even saying anything. Even if so, she couldn’t help but ask:

“Jermaine, what were you thinking?”

J ran a hand over the top of his head, and shook his head as he looked down at his sneakers. Leaning down to unlace them, he slipped his feet out of them before he sat them down next to him. “I’m tired,” He said softly.

“You’re tired...? What’s wrong?” Beija furrowed her eyebrows, the confusion and concern laced within her voice.

“Nothing is wrong. For once...nothing’s wrong. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” Jermaine chuckled to himself, and Beija’s face softened as she noticed the glistening in his eyes. “And that’s why I’m going to retire. If I can find it in me to come back after some time, then so be it. I’ll come back, do another album. But right now, my focus gotta be with us. I’ve done all that I can do in this industry,” His tone seemed so final, and Beija couldn’t shake off the sadness that it brought upon her.

“Do you really think so? J...I know you feel like you have to pour everything into one thing or another, but there’s a different way we can go about this. I watched you tonight and I saw the happiness that radiated from you,” Beija could see some of the tears that rolled down her husband’s face, and it was killing her. She was convinced that this wasn’t what Jermaine truly wanted. “You can’t tell me there’s nothing else to do. There’s so much more for you to do. God didn’t give you what He gave you for you to stop right here,” Her tone seemed almost pleading. “I mean—fuck, you’re crying in front of me, J.”

“I would have cried whether I did this by choice or not, Beija. Because you may be right; I have a lot that I could do, but this is bigger than me. I want a normal life for real, Beija. I love music, and I love the way it makes me feel. This shit saved my life more times than I can count,” J wiped his face before he let out a sigh. “But I’ve accomplished what I wanted to. I came into this game wanting to be one of the greats—I did that. Even after success stopped being my goal, and my hopes became set on touching lives and relating to the people, I did that too. Now, I want to just focus on us. I already talked to Ib about it, and I’ll just sit back and produce for our artists among other things. But as far as rapping, there’s nothing else for me to really do. I’ve told my stories—now I want to live them out,” He managed to smile through his tearful revelation. “I want to be with you and my kids. I owe you guys that for sticking by me.”

Beija bit into her corner lip as she watched Jermaine stand up to his feet, taking a step towards her before he kneeled down in front of her. She felt her hands trembling when he took them, and she blinked away the tears hat threatened to come as he kissed her. “If you truly want to do this...then I’m with you,” She said, and he nodded before he kissed her knuckles. “I’m with you all the way.”

“Until the end?”

“Even after that.”

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