#i made a lot of friends here and i've distanced myself from those people as well

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[bedsyandco]

3 times Will made a move + 1 time she finally said yes

note: it's finally here! sorry you waited so long! dates are approx. It's still not where I want it but I've been sitting with it for a more than a month and this is what we have...okay?😭

☆1 (30 aug)

Princess walks into her favorite cafe and sighs when she sees the long line of people. She makes her way to the back of the line and curses quietly when she drops her keys, but before she can bend down to get them, someone else already has.

"Thanks," she says, her voice getting caught in her throat as she sees him. Meets those green eyes. The same green eyes she's been thinking about all summer.

She saw him briefly in class earlier but didn't have a chance to really get a good look at him.

"And so we meet again." Will says smiling at her.

"We do."

"I actually saw you in class earlier, but I didn't know if it would be weird to say anything," Will says, scratching the back of his neck and Princess' attention is drawn to his arm, but she quickly glances away again.

"It wouldn't, I think it would be weirder to pretend we've never interacted at all." she says.

"We may have interacted, but I never actually introduced myself, I'm Will." he says, holding his hand out and Princess takes it.

"Emerson"

"Did you have a good summer?" Will asks

"Yeah, I went to Italy. I ate way too much pasta, but I had a lot of fun. Have you ever been?"

"No. I've been to Spain when I was younger, but never Italy."

"How are you liking, Boston?" Princess asks

"I love Boston, I actually grew up not too far from here, so I'm familiar with the area, and I have a lot of family here, so I'm really excited to be close to home. What about you? It's a big difference from California."

"Oh, I didn't know you were from here, that's nice. It is a big difference from Cali. My family actually took a lot of trips to Boston over the years, and I've always loved this city. Besides, Boston has a lot of really good schools, so..." Princess trails off, and Will nods.

Princess and Will were so busy talking, it wasn't long before they were in the front of the line both placing their order.

When both their orders come at the same time, Will isn't ready to say goodbye yet.

"Wanna sit with me?" Will asks gesturing to one of the tables.

Yes, I do, but I really shouldn't. For so many reasons, Princess thinks.

"I can't, I'm actually running late to something. I'll see you around though?" she says and walks away when Will agrees.

Despite Princess wanting to keep her distance, the next day, Will moved to sit next to her in class.

☆2 (sep 16)

Will was in conversation with Gabe when something across the room caught his attention.

When he glanced in that direction again, he saw her. She was dancing with her friends, wearing a little black dress, golden waves hanging down to her waist.

Once Will spotted her he couldn't take his eyes off her. All he could think was God, she is gorgeous.

"Hey, I'll be back in a sec." he says to Gabe when he sees her friends leave, before making his way over to her.

"Hey," he greets and she smiles

"Are you stalking me Smith?" she jokes

"Maybe a little," Will replies joking back.

"Do you wanna dance with me?" Will asks and Princess bites her lip debating...

"I didn't know you could dance..." she says and Will smiles

"There's a lot you don't know about me..."

She takes his hand and leads him to the other side of the room, closer to where people were dancing and out of eye sight from her friends. She didn't need people to be gossiping about this tomorrow.

Will puts his hands on her hips and pulls her closer to him. She didn't think being this close to him was a good idea. Between his cologne and the three drinks already in her system, she was bound to do something stupid.

One of Will's hands move from her hip to her lower back, dangerously close to her ass, as he brushes her hair away from her shoulder and lays a gentle kiss right under her ear, smiling when he feels her shiver.

"You look beautiful," Will whispers, lips brushing her ear. His hand moves to cup her jaw, eyes darting between her lips and her eyes.

"This is a bad idea," she says a little breathless. Not sounding very convincing.

"Bad ideas make good memories," Will argues

"Bad ideas get people hurt,"

"I don't want to hurt you, I just really want to kiss you, can I?" he says, so close that she can feel the words on her lips.

Instead of answering she wraps her arms around Will's neck and pull his lips to hers.

Damn. Will didn't know what he liked most about her anymore. Her smell. Her smile. Or the way she kisses.

She pulls at the strands at the base of his neck and he groans.

Definitely the way she kisses.

☆ 3 (sep 29)

Princess stops in her tracks when she spots Will sitting at a table in the library. Her table.

"You really are stalking me," she says as she drops her bag on the table.

"I wouldn't have to be if you stopped avoiding me." Will says

"I haven't been avoiding you." she argues

"Yes, you have. We go from talking almost daily in class to you running the other way like I have the plague. Didn't know my kissing was that bad," he says

"It wasn't, trust me, it was -" she starts but stops when she sees Will's cocky smirk.

"No, please, continue." Will says

"Look, I have been distancing myself because what happened at that party was a major cross of boundaries that never should have happened. You were drafted to the team that my dad owns. It's not a good idea to get involved with each other." she explains

"Why not?" he asks

"Because when it ends badly, it will be weird and messy for both of us, and I really don't need another reason to disappoint my dad."

Will understood what she was saying. It's the same thing Gabe had been trying to drill into his head for weeks now. But he couldn't stay away from her, he tried.

"We haven't even started, and you're already thinking about how we're gonna end? Are you always this pessimistic?"

"I'm not pessimistic. I'm realistic. Now will you please move, I really like that seat." she begs, and Will sighs, standing up and moving to the seat across from hers as she sits.

"I brought you something," Will mumbles and pushes over a coffee and cinnamon roll. The same order she had that day in the cafè.

"Thank you." she says

"Okay. I'll dial down on the flirting, but no more avoiding me. Owner's daughter or not, we both know we enjoyed spending these last few weeks together. We can be friends, right?"

"No flirting?"

"I didn't say no flirting, I said less flirting."

"No puppy dog eyes, no hands and no kisses or no friends..." she says stubbornly

"Fine. Now hand me that and let me help you, I'm more than just a pretty face," he says, smiling and gesturing to her notes.

Oh, she knows.

☆ +1 (oct 13)

They were studying at Princess' apartment. Well, she was studying. Will was too busy admiring her to really retain any information.

This was how they spent most nights these past few weeks. Sitting in her living room, studying, watching TV, and swapping stories back and forth.

Will really did try to respect her wishes and be her friend. But it was nearly impossible. There was just no way two people who got along as well as they did and had that much chemistry could just be friends.

"Stop staring at me!" she says, throwing a pillow at his face.

"I can't help it. You're too beautiful not to stare at." Will says, smiling when she laughs.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Smith"

"I hope so. I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Remember last time you asked me something, your friend ended puking all over my back seat," she says, and he winces.

"Yeah...I promise this isn't as bad as that."

"What's up?" she asks sitting up straight.

"Our first home game is tomorrow...I was hoping you'd come," Will asks rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, I don't know, Smitty. I'm just too beautiful not to stare at. Are you sure you won't get distracted?" she teases and Will throws the pillow back at her.

"I'm sure. I really want you there, please?" Will asks sincerely and she smiles.

"I'll be there." she promises

"Wearing my jersey?" Will asks grinning at her.

"Don't push it."

"How do you feel about making a little bargain?" Will asks

"I'm listening."

"We win tomorrow, and I get to take you on a date..."

"That's too easy. You win and score me a goal tomorrow, then you get to take me on a date..."

"Wait what? Really..." Will asks dumbfounded. He didn't actually expect her to agree.

"Oh, you don't want to anymore?" she teases

"No, no, no, I do very much want to. You got a deal. We win, and I score a goal, we go on a date."

"Deal."

-

Princess sat first row behind the glass and glanced at the clock again. BC was leading 3-2 but Will was yet to score a goal.

Come on baby.

She really wants him to score that goal because she really wants to go on that date. It didn't really hit her just how much she wanted him until then. These last two months with Will have been her happiest months in a long time.

He was just so charming, so smart, so funny, so kind. The more she got to know him, the more she liked him. She was beyond proud that Will was affiliated with her family's organization. That was something her parents always reminded her of. We don't just want talented people. We want good people.

Will was a good person. He reminded her of this saying her grandma always used to say when she was little. People who feel like sunshine are rare. So when you find them, you gotta hold on tight. Will was sunshine. And she was planning on holding on real tight.

With 2 minutes left, Will finally scores, jumping against the glass where she was sitting. After the game, he couldn't shower and get to her fast enough.

Walking towards her, his heart felt ready to burst any moment. There she was, the biggest smile on her face, wearing his jersey.

He did a little jog towards her and scooped her up in a big hug, holding her up.

"You owe me a date, princess."

"I guess I do," she says, brushing his hair out of his eye.

"You can stop pretending you're not excited, I saw you crossing your fingers over there. You really wanted me to score." Will teases

"Actually, I was crossing my fingers and hoping you didn't score."

"Whatever you wanna tell yourself, baby. Either way, I get to take my girl on a date."

His girl. She really liked that.

#❥ — ꒰ emerson + will ꒱

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, big fan of your ace and aro art!

Genuine question here: How do you maintain a long distance relationship with your QPP (queerplatonic partner)?

Hey! Thank you so much for the kind words, that means a lot TwT

Regarding your question, apologies for the long shit incoming in advance, I'll probably share way more than what's needed, but anyway:

OK, to be honest, I should mention that I'm used to long-distance in most of the relationships in my life anyway, so that's kinda my bread and butter. I was bullied in my small town schools and later I went on to study foreign languages, so all of that created circumstances that made it natural for me to create real friendships mostly with people online or in foreign countries. I've always been more of a "next country rather than nextdoor" type of person to begin with, and my partner was no exception I guess.

We got to know each other online, so we were sort of used to the bulk of our relationship being online when we decided to be in a QPR. It was my partner's suggestion before we even got to meet IRL, and to be honest I'd never had a romantic or queerplatonic partner before and didn't fully grasp what it meant at the time, but it sounded nice, so I went for it! We met up IRL in 2018, a couple months after that (I was meeting up IRL for the first time with another friend who also happened to live in the area, in retrospect I really appreciate everyone's patience as I imposed a double visit and splitting my time in two between them TwT) and at that time it only cemented how much of a vibe it was.

After that, I was saving to visit them again in 2020, but... Y'know, the shit happened. The US (where my partner lives) enforced a travel ban on my country and several others that lasted until November 2021. It was incredibly hard during those times. We called very often, but since I'd been all riled up on the idea of hugging them again, and I was very affection-deprived because no one was allowed to see anyone or touch anyone (and that was pretty heavily monitored by cops for quite a while in my country), it wasn't enough for me to feel OK. The only way one could travel from a banned coutry to the US was to stay 14 days in a non-banned country and then travel from there – which I ended up doing in mid-2021 because I was basically going nuts. It was pretty damn expensive, but since nothing had been allowed for a while it's not like I'd spent my money on much, so I had savings, and I needed to prove myself that I could do it. We reunited IRL then for a good week. Then, because they'd fairly recently got a job (which meant more income for travel) and because US citizens WERE allowed to travel to banned countries, THEY visited me in September 2021 (and we formally promised to marry each other someday then, so even travel bans couldn't separate us in the future).

Despite all that, come late October 2021 and with no end in sight for the travel ban, I'd completely spiralled into despair over our future again. The travel ban and other restrictions made seeing each other so much harder and it was seriously taking a toll. Despite everything we'd managed that year, at that time, it felt so hard I was having serious self-endangering thoughts for the first time in my life, and I wanted to give up. That lasted about a couple days until I talked about it to them over videocall and heard their words of support and saw their face and got all angry like "fuck no, they can't take that away from me". So, because they're who they are, and because of extra support from some friends which meant a lot, despite everything, we didn't give up.

Now I'm free to travel to them again so honestly? Maintaining a long-distance relationship feels really easy right now. We text every day, videocall at least once a week and send each other care packages with gifts for our birthdays, holidays and special occasions. (Our time zone difference is 9 hours, which is convenient, cus when I wake up they're more or less about to go to bed so we can chat for a bit, when my workday is over theirs hasn't started yet, and when they're having lunch I'm having dinner, so we often share meals and watch stuff together over video calls.) We're both working adults with a stable source of income, which definitely plays into a lot, cus that means we're much more free to save up and make plans to visit each other – and by god ever since 2021 we've been making much more frequent plans, as of today we have 3 meetups more or less planned, one of them coming up this month actually, so that's pretty great^^

I do live in fear of another travel ban coming out of nowhere, so I do hope we can marry someday – though that'll be its own whole can of worms in terms of coming-out and immigration hardships, but we're determined to work through it. We're determined not to be long-distance forever. Kinda sucks that we have to go through something as amatonormative as marriage to achieve that, but also, ehh, y'know what, if that means someday I get to hang out with them in person everyday, it ain't that bad. It's a means to an end. And I guess it's a cute idea in a way.

...Welp that was way too long. tl;dr it's not easy every day. Some circumstances out of your control can really put you through the ringer sometimes. But on the flip side that means you get out of it stronger and the whole thing's kind of a virtuous circle. The more you fight for it, the more precious it is to you, and the more precious it gets to you, the more you want to fight for it. Kinda comes naturally to me at this point, so, I guess, don't make it a chore. It never felt like one to me. It's all a treasure if anything.

#alright i'll shut up #anon #long distance relationship #queerplatonic relationship #tw sui ideation #tw bullying mention

[stellaluna33]

I was asked if I think Rory was really still "in love" with Jess in Season 6 and AYITL, and, well... My answer is a bit... It's complicated. Haha! Do I think she was still actively, consciously IN love with him then? Well, to that particular question I have to say No. But I honestly don't think that's the right question here. I don't think it matters in the long run. Do I think she's completely OVER him and could never be in love with him again? The answer to that is ALSO No. This got a little long, so forgive me!

Is Rory still attracted to Jess? Yes, I think so. Do they still have a deep, intuitive connection? It seems obvious that YES, they do. Milo has said (and I agree) that once you've had as deep of a connection as Rory and Jess had, you never really lose that, and they will always love each other on SOME level. And I absolutely believe that Rory still does, and always will, love Jess in that sense. He's a person that's very important to her and for whom she cares deeply. But that's different, of course, from being IN Love with someone.

The thing is, though, that human relationships and emotions are very changeable and subject to circumstance. While acknowledging that my experiences won't be universal, I think for a lot of people who aren't aroace, the tipping point between platonic and romantic in friendships with people you find attractive can sometimes be a finer line than you might think. (I say SOMETIMES, because I do not quite agree with Harry Burns on this!) I am a woman who is attracted to men, and I've had some friendships with men without feeling anything more than platonic attraction, and I've had other friendships that, well... felt like they could probably go either way, if the circumstances were different. I have to be more careful with those friendships and make the decision not to dwell on feelings of attraction or put myself in situations with too much emotional intimacy, because which side of the line we're on is largely circumstantial. We CHOOSE not to think of each other as romantic prospects. (In the same way that I CHOSE to commit to my husband and continue to make that choice every day.) And that? That is the kind of "friendship" Rory and Jess have. They treat each other as friends because they have made the decision to treat each other as friends, because they currently (as of the Revival) believe that to be for the best and/or to respect the other person's perceived wishes. This is easier because they haven't been spending a lot of time together (perhaps even intentionally). Physical and emotional distance makes it easier to maintain emotional boundaries. If they were in a situation that had them spending a lot more time together, though? (Say, if they had "a work thing" between them...) I absolutely believe they might be teetering on the edge of that fence again. All it would take is a push in the right direction. As for personal differences between them, Rory has always been very good at compartmentalizing her feelings and not dwelling on them. Jess, however, is much less so. He dwells. (OHHHH, he dwells!) That's just their personalities. But I honestly think Jess had probably been attempting to move on too (I have real life friends who were in this situation, now married, but I'll talk about that another time.)

Now how does Logan fit into this? Well, in Season 6, it was complicated. Rory was officially Logan's girlfriend, and her allegiance (however shaky) tends to be to her official boyfriend (she couldn't bring herself to break up with Dean either). Her attraction to Jess was still pretty obvious, however (Logan definitely picked up on it), and that one encounter resulted in Rory and Logan separating (or breaking up, depending on who you asked or when...). 6.18 is more complicated, but my opinion is NOT that Rory went to Philly to intentionally "use" Jess. She SAID she "just wanted to see [his] place, but then... this." That doesn't sound like a plan to me. I think she found herself teetering on the edge of that attraction that's ALWAYS there between them, thought, "And why shouldn't I give in? Logan certainly would..." but then couldn't go through with it. Because yeah, she COULD fall in love with Jess again if she let herself, but she WAS still in love with Logan already, even though she didn't want to be anymore. She was still in a committed relationship with Logan, and it was a sexual one. It's not really popular right now to talk about the bonding aspects of sex (oxytocin release, etc.), but it is legitimately a thing for some people. Some people cannot separate the physical act of sex from emotional attachment, and the show had established that Rory was one of those people. She could not (in college at least) do "casual," and she'd been having sex with him for over a year.

The affair in AYITL is something else again. Because while I've said that Rory wasn't "in love" (yet?) with Jess in the Revival, I actually don't think she was really still in love with Logan either. Alexis Bledel herself said that she thought Rory was just "going through the motions" and clinging to something familiar and comfortable, and I agree. And this is (unfortunately) in character for Rory. Her life was spinning out of control (her grandfather dying, her career uncertain) and she was clinging to the emotional familiarity of Logan, the same way she clung to Dean when her life was in upheaval in Season 4, and she didn't do that because she was "still in love with Dean" (even though she convinced herself she was. She had to). Rory (for the first time maybe ever?!) was the one to end things with Logan in the Revival. I do think she'll probably always love him a little, in the same way she'll always love Jess a little (that kind of Love is ever-expanding), but she wasn't IN Love with him anymore and... It just wasn't right, and she knew it. Their goodbye was bittersweet, but she didn't seem heartbroken, she seemed at PEACE with letting go of him and ready to move on with her life. Love can be overpowering, it's true, but... It also has so much more to do with circumstance and personal choice than we sometimes want to admit. So, yeah. No, Rory and Jess aren't "in love" in AYITL. But in my 30+ years of life experience, that doesn't really mean a dang thing.

#Gilmore Girls #AYITL #Literati #Love #Look. Human emotions and relationships are incredibly complex and malleable. #There are no simple answers here. #I guess that's the Short Version. #😂

[halloweentowntwokalabarsrevenge]

I had to translate Percy's ICON Magazine for academic reasons (no really) so I thought I'd post it for people to read since i have it! Now I had to manually type it into google translate so there's plenty of ways it could be flawed but it's coherent and all and that's what matters lol

So here's the google translation, the typed up Italian will be under the cut for those who ya know, can do something with that.

son of art, surrounded by actors and directors since childhood, the young star of Wednesday admits: "I am predestined". And she reveals to Icon what her secret is for being so natural in her interpretations.

I've always wondered: but if I had the chance to have a chat with Percy Hynes White, the very young Canadian actor whose fame exploded after he played the magnetic and intriguing Xavier in the Netflix series Wednesday, would we become friends? I would like it very much. Look at him, Percy: handsome, very elegant, cold, but with a shadow of perpetual triteness in his eyes. He has the bearing of an irresistible cursed hero. I'm not saying we're made for each other, eh, but in my opinion we can become friends. I'm trying.

Shall we start from the beginning? "I grew up among artists. My father and mother are writers and screenwriters. He (Joel Thoomas Hynes, ed.) wrote a series of books, perhaps you've heard of We'll All Be Burnt In Our Beds Some Night, which he won a lot of awards. But then he was an actor on television, in the cinema… my mother on the other hand (Sherry Whit, ed.), wrote the series Pretty Hard Cases and the film Maudie, with Sally Hawkins and Ethan Hawke . So I'm predestined. Since I was little I was surrounded by actors or directors who asked my parents if they could let me act in their films. Not that I'm complaining, but I had no choice!" Ok, but let's make an effort of imagination: what if I had had that choice? What if I could choose what job to do? "I don't know, really. Everything I can think of has something to do with art. Even if I answered you as a carpenter, there would still be something artistic behind it, a research… Maybe sooner or later I'll start writing too, like my parents."

I avoid confiding in Percy that I would always have liked to be a newsagent, because it occurs to me that in Cast No Shadow, one of his very first films, Percy plays the role of a child with a decidedly difficult life and a violent father, played by his real dad, the aforementioned Joel. Now, I don't know, but it seems like a very difficult thing to me…" It was very easy! It's the opposite of what our relationship has always been. My father is a very sweet person, so what we staged it was really a game: a total fiction, but done with extreme naturalness." Perfect, just what I was about to say… But deep down it's true: Naturalness, instinct, seem to me to be the key to his work.

Every time he appears on screen, Percy seems like the right person at the right time. "My characters always have only a few small degrees of separation from how they are in reality. This created some insecurity in me, because I have never played someone totally different from me. Then a friend of mine explained to me how it works. There are two typologies of actors: those who have to distance themselves as much as possible from their reality and those who are chosen specifically to bring a bit of themselves into the characters they play. What I do is immerse myself in the situation presented to me. From there I behave and I talk like I really would if I were that character or if I really lived in that reality. I think that's why I give the impression of being natural in my acting style: it's because ultimately it's me."

Maybe it's what you could call a method, one of those things that only the greatest have inside. "No, I would never dare. For me the greatest of all is Philip Seymour Hoffman. Whatever part he played, even the smallest, he steals scenes from anyone. Watching his films again is a constant surprise, he really could do anything ".

But what if you could choose a film genre or director to work with instead? "In this period I'm collecting a lot of old VHS tapes. I don't know why: I like the texture they have on my TV and I find the idea of having a film in my hand, a physical, tangible medium, not lost somewhere in the cloud, interesting. I'm watching a lot of old horror from the 70s and 80s and I'd like to do something with Sam Raimi or John Carpenter. Something crazy, free, creative." John Carpenter! You see? I told you we were meant to be friends, Percy!

----------------------------------------------

ITALIAN

figlio d'arte, circondato da attori e registi fin da bambino, la giovane star diMercoledì ammette: "sono un predestinato". E svela ad Icon qual è il suo segreto per essere così naturale nelle sue interpretazioni.

Mi sono sempre chiesto: ma se avessi la possibilità di fare due chiacchiere con Percy Hynes White, il giovanissimo attore canadesela cui fama é esplosa dopo che ha interpretato il magnetico e intrigante Xavier nella serie Mercoledì di Netflix, diventeremmo amici? A me piacerebbe iantissimo. Guardalo, il Percy: bello, elegantissimo, algido, ma con un'ombra di perenne tritezza negli occhi. Ha un portamento de eroe maledetto irresistibile. Non dico che siamo fatti l'uno per l'altro, eh, ma secondo me possiamo diventare amici. Io ci provo.

Partiamo dall'inizo? "sono cresciuto in mezzo ad artisti. Mio padre e mia madre sono scrittori e sceneggiatori. Lui (Joel Thoomas Hynes, ndr) ha scritto una serie di libri, forse hai sentito nominare We'll All Be Burnt In Our Beds Some Night, che ha vinto un sacco di premi. Ma poi ha fatto l'attore in televisione, al cinema… mia madre invece (Sherry Whit, ndr), ha scritto la serie Pretty Hard Cases e il film Maudie, con Sally Hawkins e Ethan Hawke. Per cui sono un predestinato. Sin da piccolo ero circondato da attori o registi che chiedevano ai miei se potevano farmi recitare nei loro film. Non che mi lamenti, ma non ho avuto scelta!" Ok, ma facciamo uno sforzo di immaginazione: se l'avessi avuta quella scelta? Se avessi potuto scegliere che lavoro fare? "non lo so, davvero. Tutto quello che riesco a pensare ha in qualche modo a che fare con l'arte. Anche se ti rispondessi il falegname, comunque dietro ci sarebbe un che di artistico, una ricerca… Forse prima o poi mi metterò anche io a scrivere, come i miei".

Evito di confidare a Percy che a me sarebbe sempre piaciuto fare l'edicolante, perché mi viene in mente che in Cast No Shadow, uno dei suoi primissimi film, Percy recita nel ruolo di un bambino con una vita decisamente difficile e un padre violent, interpretato proprio dal suo vero papà, il già citato Joel. Ora, non lo so, ma a me sembra una cosa difficiliss… " E stato facilissimo! È l'opposto di quello che è sempre stato il nostro rapporto. Mio padre è una persona dolcissima, per cui quello che abbiamo messo in scena era proprio un gioco: una finzione totale, ma fatta con estrema naturalezza". Perfetto, proprio quello che stavo per dire… Ma in fondo è vero: La naturalezza, l'istinto, mi sembrano essere la chiave del suo lavoro.

Ogni volta che compare sullo schermo, Percy sembra la persona guista al momento giusto. "I miei personaggi hanno sempre solo qualche piccolo grado di separazione da come sono nella realtà. Questa mi ha creato qualche insicurezza, perché non ho mai interpretato qualcuno totalmente diverso da me. Poi un mio amico mi ha spiegato come funziona. Ci sono due tipologie di attori: quelli che devono allontanarsi il più possibile dalla loro realtà e quelli che invece vengono scelti apposta per portare un po' di loro stessi nei personaggi che interpretano. Quello che faccio io è calarmi nella situazione che mi viene presentata. Da lì mi comporto e parlo come farei davvero se io fossi quel personaggio o se vivessi davvero in quella realtà. Penso sia per quello che do l'imperssione di essere naturale nel mio stile di recitazione: è perché alla fine sono io".

Forse è quello che si potrebbe chiamare un metodo, una di quela cose che hanno dentro solo i più grandi. "No, non mi permetterei mai. Per me il più grande di tutti è Philip Seymour Hoffman. Qualsiasi parte abbia fatto, anche la più piccola, ruba la scene a chiunque. Riguardare i suoi film è una sorpresa continua, poteva fare davvero di tutto".

Ma se invece tu potessi scegliere un genere cinematografico o un regista con cui lavorare? "In questo periodo sto collezionando tantissime vecchie VHS. Non so perché: mi piace la grana che hanno sul mio televisore e trovo interessante l'idea di avere un film in mano, un supporto fisico, tangibile, non disperso da qualche parte nel cloud. Sto guardando un sacco di vecchi horror degli anni 70 e 80 e mi piacerebbe fare qualcosa con Sam Raimi o John Carpenter. Qualcosa di pazzo, libero, creativo". John Carpenter! Vedi? Te l'avevo detto che siamo destinati a essere amici, Percy!

#percy hynes white

[ghostofaboy]

I want to talk about David's Story...

Going to put this behind a cut cos this might get long.

So... In 2021, I wrote and published a story on AO3 called David's Story. I have it set to private now, for reasons I'll explain shortly.

The story was a way for me to get out a lot of stuff I'd experienced as a teen. It was a way for me to place the memories in a fiction space and distance myself from them. So, for some unfathomable reason, I named the main character after myself.

I'm not sure why I did that.

I think part of it was because parts of the story were based on real events, I couldn't fully extract myself from them. They happened. To me. Therefore, I guess it made some sense to me to call the main character David. I don't know... because looking back, I really regret doing that now.

When I started writing the story, I was in a very bad place. A not wanting to carry on place, and it was through the encouragement of a very good friend that I expressed these dark thoughts via fiction.

For those who haven't read the story, it follows a young man from age 14 to 18 as his stepfather rents him out and sexual abuses him. It's a very, very dark story.

Some of the story is pure fiction, some it lifted directly from my teens, and some is what I experienced but 'dialed up' and exaggerated.

But because it is framed as fiction, some readers naturally found it hot. To begin with, that really didn't bother me. But then as I came out of that dark place, it started to make me feel uncomfortable. Every comment I would feel dread because I didn't know if it would be commenting on the dark themes or saying how hot they found it.

I've said this before, and I'll repeat it here, but that isn't the fault of the readers. To them this was a work of fiction, and they interacted with it accordingly. But I knew the other aspects of the story and certain reaction were hitting too close to what I'd experienced.

So I set it to private on AO3 and now we come to the dilemma I face now. I think I'm a peace with people's reactions to the story now. But I really, really regret naming the main character after myself. I want to change it.

I'm probably going to change the name and the character's name and then open it back up. I'm not sure when, but I think that's the best solution.

If you've read this far, thank you for sticking with me. My recovery is still an ongoing process, and I understand that now. Changing the name might make me feel better or it might not fix anything. Also, now you know my name... hi.

#rare personal stuff #I'm not sure what to tag this #tw: abuse #tw: child abuse #tw: childhood trauma

[iceeericeee]

September

Here is my contribution to NATM day <3

Notes: This is basically how the Shroomies get together (romantically). Also, I'm aro, so excuse me if none of this makes sense, but romance is not my first language :')

Drew POV:

‘Ugghhh, my head hurts. I’m never sleeping outside without a tent again.’ I think to myself. ‘Maybe I can get back home and take a nap.’

“Where d’yah reckon she came from?”

‘What the fuck?’

“I dunno, new addition, maybe?”

‘Since when did we have yeehaws in Washington? And what’s this dude going on about?’

“Then shouldn’t she be in a position? Why’s she lying down?”

‘In position? What am I, an actor? Oh god, are they using my campsite for a film?’

“Beats me.”

I shifted a bit, pressing my hands against my temple. I slowly sat up, opening my eyes. I saw three people in a loose semicircle in front of me, dressed up like cowboys. When they saw me move, they quickly shuffled away, giving me space.

“Someone get Jed, he’s better at explainin’ this to newbies,” the guy on the left ran off, leaving a small trail of dust behind him.

‘Hold up. Dust??’

“You need some help gettin up there, sunshine?” One of them offered.

“Uh, yeah, no thanks. I’m fine.” As he raised his hands in defense, I quickly got up to look around.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

I was at a railroad, and right in front of me was a short expanse of sand and dirt, which suddenly stopped after a few yards, and opened to an enormous hallway, with a giant bench in the middle. I’d recognize this place anywhere.

“How- how in the hell-” Oh wait. ‘Fuckin Annabel. I know she did this, and when I see him, I’m gonna wring his damn neck.’ Then I looked down to see what I was wearing.

“Oh, hell no.”

I’m wearing one of those dresses you only see in those old western movies. It’s a flattering shade of pine green, with small white flowers decorating the hem. It’s pretty, but it’s definitely not me. I can almost hear Annabel laughing.

‘Speaking of Annabel, why did they think it was a good idea to put me here? There’s really no point,’ I think to myself. ‘Unless- no, they wouldn’t. They’re not-’ But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. But then, where’s Charlie? If they’re trying to get us together, then wouldn’t she be here too?

‘Wait. Didn’t that one guy say-’

“Hey there! You alrigh’?”

‘Fuuuuuuuuck, it’s Jedidiah.’

I turn around, and sure enough, it’s Owen Wilson’s Jedidiah Smith in all his glory.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, I’m doin good,” the words almost rush out of my mouth. ‘Damn you, bisexual panic.’

He stuck out a hand. “Name’s Jedidiah, but you can just call me Jed,” he introduced.

Resisting the urge to say that I already knew that, I shook his hand. “I’m Drew. I'm looking for someone, maybe you've seen her?"

"Well, there ain't been anyone new here, 'cept for you, 'f 'course,"

'Damn, I guess she's not in this part of the museum.' "Can you help me find her? Please?" At this point I'm practically begging. I've got to find Charlie, I need to make sure she's alright.

"Of 'course! We'll go over to Octy, see if he knows where your friend's gone off to."

*time skip to when they get to the roman side*

We get to the Roman side, and I almost pass out when I see the architecture. It might all be done for looks, but from what I could see, they did a fantastic job on the details.

I'm interrupted from my gazing when Jedidiah says, "Y'know, yer takin' this a lot better than most,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, fer one, yer not panickin at the fact yer tiny, now."

'I'm too surprised I'm in a movie to be upset that I'm small, but okay.'

"And two, well, it's mostly just you not panickin', that's all I really got." As he says this, I start hearing talking in the distance. Some voices I don't know, but two of them stick out.

"-and, oh my gosh, your actually Octavius! This is wild, wow!"

We turn a corner and there she is, talking to Octavius and some of the other roman soldiers. And- oh god, she's wearing a toga. If she wasn't cute before, she definitely was now.

Running as fast as I can towards her, I shout, "Charlie!"

She turns around just in time to get tackle hugged by me. I almost cry into her shoulder. 'We might both be small here, but at least we're not alone,'

I vaguely hear Octavius ushering the Jedidiah and the others out to give us space, too focused on hugging Charlie. 'Wait, I'm hugging Charlie.'

I awkwardly back up, blushing. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to just hug you, I just- I- fuck, I'm just sorry."

"Drew! It's okay, you're fine!" I look at her and she's smiling at me, and without missing a beat she goes on. "You don't need to apologize, you know how much I love hugs!"

Ah, fuck. Now I look like an idiot. In front of Charlie, too.

Before I can say anything, she says, "I can't believe we're in a movie! And not just any movie, Night at the Museum! I was just talking to Octavius! Octavius, Drew! The emperor of Rome, lover of Jedidiah Smith! And-"

I interrupted her before she could continue. "Charlie, we can't stay here. We have to go home."

"But, Drew, there's so much to do here! We can't just leave without saying hi-"

"...Charlie..."

“-and we can talk to all the different exhibits! Oh my gosh, Drew this is gonna be so fun! Who should we talk to first?”

“Charlie…”

“I was thinking Sacajawea, she’s so cool! Oh! Do you think she’d like me?”

“Charlie.”

“What am I talking about, of course she would. Maybe after her we can go see Ahk!”

“Charlie-”

“Maybe he’d even let us look at the tablet! The Tablet! I wonder if it’s cold? Or does the magic make it warm?”

“Charlie-!”

“*gasp* Oh my gosh I almost forgot about the stars! Maybe we could-

“Charlie! Listen to me, goddammit!”

She stopped, startled at my outburst, looking at me with those big eyes.

“Charlie- *sigh*” My voice trembles as I say, “Look at us, Charlie, we’re too small.”

She gives me a look that says she doesn’t understand.

“We could die here, Charlie. Can’t you see that?”

It looks as though a switch is flipped in her head. She's quiet, so I go on.

"Charlie, we can't stay here, you have to understand. It's just- it's not- I can't-"

"We're- we're gonna die here?" her voice quivers, tears are starting to build in her eyes.

'Oooohh, I fucked uppppp,'

"No- no, Charlie, we're not-"

"Drew, I don't wanna die." Her voice is vibrating now, and she can't hold back her tears.

"Charlie, honey, look at me. No, don't look over there, look at me, okay?" She looks at me, and seeing her cry almost makes me break. But I have to be strong. For the both of us.

"Okay, I want you to repeat after me." She nods.

"We are going to get home."

"We- *sniff* we are going to get- get home."

"We are going to be okay."

"We are- going to- to be okay."

"We are not going to die."

"We are not- not going to die."

"Good. Now, let's figure out what to do first, alright?"

"Alright."

"Let's go and find the others, they might be able to help us out." Charlie grabs my hand as I walk away, making me stop.

"Drew. They went this way."

I let out a small sigh and smile a bit to myself. 'Good, she's back to normal. Somewhat.' "Yeah, you're right. We'll go and ask for help, this way."

That gets a small laugh out of her.

'Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get home. No matter what it takes.'

---------

Aaaaaaanndd that's all for now :) I'll make a part 2 to this, it's just starting to get kinda long for me, so I'm stopping for now.

#Shroomies #night at the museum #natm #my OC's #Charlie #Drew #Charlie x Drew #Drew x Charlie #Jedidiah Smith #Jedidiah natm #Gaius octavius #Octavius natm

[muffinninjafairy]

Life Update

Oh my goodness, to be quiet frank I have no idea when was the last time I have actually sat down and made a text post. I one day was going through my archives and everything that was going on in my personal life from over a decade ago and never really spoke about what happened to me from then to now... so I guess I will.

I've personally have been more active socially on discord, and more so been using my socials as platforms for my work, but I also remembered , this is my blog so I'm gonna blog. I have no clue how many people from all those years ago are still on here but if you are, I hope all is well.

TIME CAPSULE TIME~ (These are all summaries of the time minimizing details because of personal reasons) I guess I would say my activity started to become less and less as of like 2015 - 2016, Like I was on here, but mostly reblogging and running off. To put it in the frankest of terms, I was having a sever mental episodes during that time frame. With a lot of personal situations happening with my family and not being in a healthy environment to properly regulate my emotions nor the proper support system to help me with what I was going through.

On July 11th 2015 I was admitted to the hospital for a mental breakdown that caused me to be taken away via ambulance. There I was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 1 (manic depressive episodes) . The health care system where I came from was not at all great, my phycologist over medicated me to the point where I would have black out spells and seizers (then given medication for those seizers) . My family still then refused to support me and so I clung to what ever I could for validation. As a result of this I tried to become hyper independent.

Months after being released from the hospital I moved out of my house and with an old high school buddy and their partner. Then after I entered a long distance relationship. Which in toe turned very toxic very fast. But being blinded by my BPD, I stuck with it for 2.5 years.

In February of the next year I was kicked out of my roommates apartment because of my job being closed down and had no income. So I was forced to move back home with my father. In those years from 2016 - 2018 felt like my absolute rock bottom, I would have extended periods of time where I never left the house and hid in my room. In fear of the world around me. My relationship was not helping if not hurting me more and more. They did not care about me or what was going on, only what they wanted out of the relationship. My father was becoming more and more verbally abusive and felt that I deserved nothing. I did have a new job then too but it was a dead end job and was paying very little (8.25$ an hour when I left I was being paid 10$ an hour)

2018 comes around, this is where I feel things starting to change, I met my DnD Group (March 2018) at this time but because of the toxicity of my ex, they left me because I would no longer isolate myself and wanted friends. (May 2018) Time goes by, me and the DM of the DnD start becoming closer and start our relationship in Sept. 21, 2018.

2019 Comes by and I get hit with reality, I need help. My episodes were coming back and I was hurting those around me, So finally I pulled my boot straps and looked for professional help. Once I found the therapist for me, I started to improve, my relationship with my partner and my friends increased in strength. I was still having problems at home with my family, but came to the realization that if they didn't want to be part of my healing journey then they didn't need to.

2020 is here and me and my partner are becoming serious, to the point of planning our future together. we scrounged and saved until the end of the year where we finally had enough to move in together in a new state. I quit my dead end job, and sent my stuff across country.

In Febuary of 2021 I finally said goodbye to my home and my partner and I moved to their grandmothers home temporarily until we secured an apartment. Once we did we collected everything and with the moving truck we drove to our new home.

we have been here ever since and I could not be happier. I have had a stable job for 2 years now, I've also been promoted within the company, I can actually go out now with out having an anxiety attack, I have friends both online and IRL, I have been in a 5 year relationship and still striving for the future. I can finally be myself without having to hide away in a room for years. I can actually be independent. It took some time but I feel much more mentally healthy.

Long Story Short: For a very long time I was stunted by my environment and did not have tools properly to grow until one day I was allowed to. Now I'm doing much more positive things for myself and receiving the support I needed. I am loved and cared for. Life can get better. I am doing a lot better.

I honestly do not know how many people are still here that knew me during this time period . But I am alive, healthy, and being the best I can be.

I also don't know why I felt the need to explain my life, I guess reflecting from then to now. I guess I wanted to share my progression cause I am proud of who I am now. And if throwing it into this void and someone sees this. Hope this lets you know that things can get better.

Love you cuties Shaylee

#life update #long post #mental health #shaylee shush #man so much happened #i didnt realize

[donttouchmyempire]

Yeah, apparently I can't control myself so here are some headcanons I've made from H2O just add water (it is a fanfiction I'm still planning to write)

So, after Lewis got his scholarship to the USA, he's afraid that his relationship with Cleo won't be the same

Cleo is also afraid but also optimistic and happy for him

They try to keep in touched everyday, even though Lewis is very busy.

They don't need to spend hours in the cellphone; he smiles for a whole day when Cleo texts him in the morning "you'll do great today in your exams, love you". And Cleo would read his brief and sweet messages before going to sleep so she could forget a bit about her problems

She was worried after her graduation because she still didn't really know what to study in college.

And Lewis would try to help her as always

They would never tell each other but sometimes wondered if the other would find someone better during this period

Cleo was not so insecure anymore but she couldn't help having this thoughts where a Charlotte 2.0 appears and gets too close

Lewis, on the other hand, would be very secure about his relationship with Cleo because he trusts her. But sometimes he remembers how incredibly beautiful she is and he couldn't blame anyone who would fancy her

But in general, a long distance relationship was better than they thought

So one day, around one year later, Lewis' friends in the US think that he needs to try to be with someone else because his australian gf was cheating on him by that time for sure.

And they try to take him to a party because "you need to live a bit outside of this lab" (and some of them would try to mock him for being a "virgin" but Lewis honestly couldn't care less)

Thing is, he really is not interested, even if he was single, because that research was the most important thing that moment

Their friends at some point give up, but not after making him go at least to one party with them.

They thought that he would finally bang someone, but he is there only to make them stop inviting him to these parties bc he def had some more important things to do

And yeah, there were lots of pretty girls there

But none of them had the same kind, green eyes, and that wide smile, and calm thoughtful voice.

Lewis didn't usually think too much about how he missed Cleo, but that night he wished he was in the moon pool cave just looking at her

And he faced the sky and saw the moon. He couldn't help but think about all the full moon nights he spent awake to help the girls

And for the first time in months he allowed himself to cry - not only because he missed Cleo, but also missed those days that would never return.

So he picked his phone, knowing that Cleo would be probably working at that time and left her a message

"Hey, Cleo. I was just... Looking at the moon. And yeah, I'm on this party here, people thought I needed to have some fun and leve the lab a bit but... I just want to say that I miss you. A lot. Nothing has changed. And nothing is funny without you. But I look at the moon and at the ocean and I.. I like to think that we're not so far away".

When Cleo hears it, some tears roll down her face because she never heard Lewis sound so heartbroken. And yeah, sometimes she also missed him that it would almost literally hurt

She could tell that he wasn't okay and her only thought was "He is lonely"

And she decides that it was time to visit him and she would go. Swimming.

Of course she had to tell her dad she would go by plane using some savings she had.

Rikki didn't really like the idea of Cleo swimming a whole ocean alone

Bella thought it would be amazing

But Cleo convinces them that it won't be so difficult because she can control the water

And in fact, it wasn't. Most of the time she didn't need to swim so hard bc the water was carrying her. And she somehow knew where to go

It took her one day and she was amazed with the possibilities

Of course she hadn't told Lewis she would be there, so she just headed to his address

And when he opened the door, after a day of studying hard with a bottle of energy drink he thought his mind was playing him tricks

But it was her. In front of him, smiling.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, all the words they wanted to say shared through their stares

And when she hugged him, suddenly he felt home. And when they kissed, she felt everything was alright again

Part of his brain wanted to ask how the hell she arrived there swimming

But all he could think was about her lips that tasted like salt water

And they were just there, in his tiny living room, the last rays of sun going through the window, heating even more the moment, the scene and their bodies

He didn't even asked if that was her first time - he knew it was their first time, they knew each other since they were five and it was surprisingly how their bodies communicate so perfectly with each other when they struggled with words

And she could tell he was nervous and kinda wished it was full moon so she would be more confident

It was gentle, caring and loving, with lots of kissing and giggling

And when it was over, they felt the same way: relieved and delighted

After a moment, Cleo says "so, apparently it was worth it to swim across the ocean"

And he just smiled and said "you didn't have to do this, you know."

"I know. But you needed me. It was your full moon and I couldn't leave you alone in a full moon. I thought it was our main rule in the mermaid club."

#sorry not even remotely sorry #h20 just add water #lewis mccartney #cleo sertori #mako mermaids #fanfic #mermaid #i still can write more

[labelleizzy]

I'd like to request the last shame filled splinter of memory for WIP Wednesday please

Turns out this was a poem I wrote and spoke at the Burning Man open mic six years ago, and it's as finished as it's going to get. Thanks so much for asking, @auburnlaughter

LOCATION: in my head

MUSIC: unstoppable force by the doubleclicks

 the last shame filled splinter of memory (3:00)

they say you are only as sick as your secrets

that shame is the feeling that THOSE secrets of yours, are too sick to tell.

well

today i told the last secret

i told the one single story i have never told anyone

my therapist knows i am a writer - a storyteller.

(something that Elizabeth Bear says, about being a writer,

"I tell lies to strangers for money")

but my stories have always been grains of truth with a glamour cast upon them 

I went in to therapy today meaning to talk about that last splinter of shame.

nervously, i laughed about it when i arrived

and i told her, when my laughing was done, that I didn't know where to start.

She told me: Think of this story as a book with several chapters. Each chapter can have a title, if you want it to, and you can tell me in the third person.

So I told her a five chapter story, about "the girl who" had lived this story.

it helped. it helped a lot, being able to distance myself and also to put the event in the *context* of my life.

It wasn't just one moment that was the splinter of me doing something I have been ashamed of. It was the forest in which the wood grew, from which I received the splinters.

It was considering the process in which I have spent twenty years and more with therapy, reflection, writing, and ritual, all about removing a variety of splinters, and the other injuries and accidents I've acquired along the way.

(i got to share something beautiful that i believe, too... when i was a child with no friends, i would cry in the light of the moon, on the front porch. there was nobody else i could cry on. but the light of the moon would comfort me, fill me in quiet ways. the moon was my friend, so much bigger than me, and eternal, i knew it could take my little human grief and pain and hold them for me until i could hold them myself.

now as an adult i still sit under the moon's light, and i throw all my love and gratitude and thanks at the moon, thinking of my childself, that somehow, through a loop in time and memory, that I had my own support, from down the line, that surviving and thriving later in my life was something i could imagine even when my life was shitty. thank gods large and little for my vivid imagination.)

I am a story in progress. I struggle.

i can now see, at 48, how that story-splinter made me Do Better in some ways, and kept me away from connecting with people in others. 

I am so glad /i am going tonight,/ to the class i have which is the closest thing i have to church now.

oh my heart. my heart needs my community and the movement by which i let out the unspeakable.

...i left it in the room. i took the splinter out and i left it, and she can compost it. because that's what a good confession will do. that's what a good confessor or therapist will help you do.

i have context. and i have a clean place that has been dirty my whole life and i have sadness about that shame and feeling dirty, but maybe now i can finally let it GO.

Read time: 3:00

x-posted from Dreamwidth. You can leave comments here or there. =)

TAGS: aging gracefully (not!), childhood, dancing, learning, life is good, pain, shame, storytelling, therapy is also good, writing is better than therapy

#izzy writes #izzy is aging gracefully #izzy writes poetry #the last shame filled splinter of memory #shame #childhood #memory #memories #spoken word #my poetry #wip wednesday #need to move this out of the wip folder #kedreeva #dance church #storytelling #writing is better than therapy #therapy is good too #i am now 54 #it does get better #if we survive

[thisautistic]

Porsche's mood and inner landscape ep 5 (particularly the bathroom scene)

TW sexual assault, dub-con

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I've been wanting to write this since I saw this scene for the first time. Then it helped me realize I had been raped when I was about 23. So it took a little while for me to be able to analyze it. But we're here now so let's crack in:

One point first. I am by no means saying that Kinn and Porsche should not be together because of the circumstances of their first time. I am aware that the two situations are very different. On the other hand, I don't want people to forget that this is VERY MUCH dub-con and Kinn handled the aftermath.....poorly to say the least.

I think the main point and thesis of this meta post is that Porsche is not only upset with Kinn here, he’s upset with himself. He’s upset with himself because he thought it was something more. He consented to sex with feelings, not just sex.

He’s also upset with Kinn for humiliating him. And allowing Ken and Big to humiliate him.

I think he’s most upset by the fact that he thought he was special, though. 

So my SA wasn’t EXACTLY like this but it had some eerie similarities. I was drunk (not drugged) and I didn’t know the person who raped me. But I asked for it, just like Porsche. I came on to him just like Porsche. And not only was I treated badly by him but I was made to feel small and worthless by his friends.

Now, Ken and Big are not Kinn’s friends but the scene of Porsche’s ’punishment’ was eerily reminiscent of what happened when he was done with me. I was abused physically and laughed at by his friends.

I know there’s no reason for me to have expected that the man who raped me would protect me (now that I’m older and have some distance from it.) At the time, though, I felt betrayed. So much so that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and made me go home. Thank god I did because it could have been a LOT worse. 

Now, Porsche’s most humiliated moment, the moment when he's feeling the most sadness, rage, and guilt is in front of the mirror, when he’s seeing the aftermath of his ‘punishment.’ The physical evidence, as it were.

My most humiliating moment of the whole ordeal was when I had to walk down to the drugstore the next morning to get Plan B. I felt very much like I believe Porsche is feeling in this scene. 

Let’s be real: It was traumatic. He is flashing back in this scene.

The scream he lets out as he flashes back may have been the largest indicator to me that we had shared trauma. I remember making those same noises, trying to get the pictures out of my head. But they wouldn't go.

He screams in anger and anguish. I did too.

Anger at the man who raped me, his friends, myself. Brief flashes of incandescent rage that sputtered out into self-loathing and sadness.

It wouldn’t have been such a big trauma for him if Kinn hadn’t insisted on treating him like any other bodyguard afterward. And that, I think is the crux of it. Porsche feels used. Just like I did. Like it didn’t have to be me. Like it could have been any other drunken girl (this is before I knew I was trans) who wandered into their midst.

Last but certainly not least, he keeps it from everyone. Even the people he is closest to.

So did I. I didn't understand for years that I had been raped. And not fully until I watched this very scene. In a lot of ways Porsche is not able to speak about it. Because it's his boss. Because he believes it was his fault. But I think most importantly, most heartbreakingly, that he doesn't want Pete to look down on him, because he is ashamed.

It's why he perked up when he thought he and Pete had shared trauma. That maybe it wasn't just him going through this. That maybe he could talk with someone about it.

But no. So he sits with it. It's not the first time he's had to deal with something himself. (Hello eldest child syndrome but we can get into that another day)

The irony of that is that if he had told Pete about it when he had the chance, that maybe Pete would have been able to talk to him about his ordeal.

So, my bbs. that's it.

Feel free to save this meta but please do not announce you're gonna use it for fanfic inspo or something cause it is actually my trauma so. Just be polite. I want people to be able to reblog it but if it starts getting weird I'll have to switch it to no reblogs.

Thanks for reading bbs. I love you.

I'm also gonna leave this article about unacknowledged rape here just in case this is a little too close to home for some of you.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #mileapo #porsche pachara kittisawasd #apo nattawin #apo best actor #kinnporsche la forte #kinnporsche meta #my meta #thisautistic meta #cw sa #tw sex assault

[queenharumiura]

GET TO KNOW NEO

name — Neo and on some other blogs An-chan

pronouns— She/her

preferred comms — I get webhooks alerts to replies and asks, and tumblr very rarely alerts me to ims, but it is available to those who prefer communications via tumblr. Discord is the most reliable.

name of muse — Haru Miura on this blog and many more that i'm too lazy to list out on other blogs.

experience in RP — Around 16 years I think. Crazy as it is, I started out on Quizilla when you used to be able to message people. Then I moved to a proboards site when a friend invited me to join one she created. Was there for a long time. Dabbled a bit in RP'ing with a group on DeviantArt. Did a bit of skype rp from there. Then I moved to tumblr rp. I may have attempted to dabble in discord RP and ye- it's not exactly for me, but I can do it. I hate feeling limited though.

best experiences— Any iteration of: "You know, you made me change my mind on how I see Haru." Truly, the biggest serotonin boost I'd ever need in life. This is my goal in life. What I aspire to do with my writing. Not RP, but I got a Haru hater to like Haru after reading a few of my fics years back. You thought you were going to hate read and give hate? Jokes on you, I OPENED YOUR EYES.

pet peeves/dealbreakers — If you've reposted fanart without credit nor permission and i've talked to you about it and you dismissed my concerns about reposting fanart, i'll instantly block you. It's in my rules for a reason. Tho- I suppose that's just breaking my rules so maybe it doesn't count as a dealbreaker?

Not necessarily a peeve but more of a turn off, but I really don't like it when someone has the repeat energy of 'No one would want to rp with me, I don't see why I bother,' 'Did anyone miss me? No? Okay' etc. It probably sounds petty of me, but I don't like it. It dismisses the efforts of those who have been trying to connect to you, and I come onto tumblr to have fun, so I don't want to come here and feel bogged down. The energy actually disheartens me and brings my own mood down because I end up sympathizing with them too much. For the sake of my own mentality, I end up distancing myself.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — I enjoy fluff and angst a lot. Smut... depends... on the muse... and relationships... and how comfortable I am with the mun. I'm big shy in general so it can take time to warm me up to talking about smut in regards to muses. Once I'm used to talking to you about it and i'm comfortable with you, i'm pretty open about it. Truly, I'm big on troll humor though, so crack humor kinda threads really have my heart. If you wanna talk smut with me, you gotta be the one to bring it up because 99.5% of the time, it won't be me bringing it up first.

IF we aren't shipping, then you better hope one day I even reblog a risque meme for you to inquire about it. I'm a lil wary about talking about it to begin with.

plot or memes — Plots, as some of us know that i'm not very keen on memes as my relationship with the inbox is not positive. Still working on it though, one blog at a time. Memes are fun when i'm in the mood for them. This goes for reblogging them or sending in to people.

long or short replies — Both are fine with me, and both are great in their own right. Long ones are nice as they give you a lot to explore but it also takes a while to reply to and it can tire me out. Short threads are short and simple. They're nice, and then you get me being suddenly inspired and whoops- suddenly it's a long thread. (short replies = 3 paragraphs in my mind).

best time to write — I'm finding myself to be more active in the night hours, so the PMs. I do tend to be high inspiration in the AMs, but i'm usually at work or low energy. So that's when I spend the time thinking of what i'll write and then stow those ideas for when I do have the energy.

are you like your muse?: I've been told that I'm very much like Haru, and it's mostly in some habits, i'd say. Haru is a way better human than I am. Fit for life. I, a dehydrated prune is not fit for life. We both share our troll heart, our tendency for conspiracy thoughts, dramatics, speaking in third person and such. Basically, consider me the unhealthy introvert AU for Haru.

Tagged by: @ryuusake

Tagging: I don't tag

#Ryuusake #Tagged meme #About Muneo

[emotionallychargedtowel]

get to know me ask game

Tagged by@nieves-de-sugui. Thanks, dearie!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it. (I'm not big on meme tagging, and anyway, I seem to be one of the last people on the planet to get around to this thing.)

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I've wanted to get some piercings in my ears for a few years now but between brokeness and covid stuff I haven't gotten around to it yet. Someday?

I have two tattoos. One is a reference to a song by a band I used to know and the other is in honor of my kids but also some stuff from my own childhood. Both were done by a close friend of mine. A lot of people don't realize I have them, especially the first one, which is on my ribcage. I want to get more tattoos but that may be tough since I can't go back to Texas anytime soon and the idea of working with a new artist here is a huge bummer--no one could take the place of my friend.

I just got my balayage re-done, with purplish ash blond bits, and it's the best thing I've ever done to my hair. Now if the weather would just cool off enough for me to be able to wear it down!

I had cosmetic surgery in middle school to make my ears stick out less.

I'm not super depressed most of the time but I'm prone to anhedonia (difficulty experiencing positive emotions) so I don't smile much and I seldom laugh aloud. Though since I started ADHD meds I started laughing a bit more, which has been nice.

I used to wear makeup a lot more, but I have allergy stuff that makes it hard to wear eye makeup so I've gotten out of the habit. I miss it. It was a good source of gender euphoria.

I'm not displeased with how I look, but saying I'm pleased with it seems a bit strong.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks// I can do a handstand.

I can play both guitar and piano, but not very well at all.

I love doing visual art but got out of the habit over the years. I always tell myself that someday I'll go back and take some classes or something, when I have more free time. I would love that. For now I just draw things for my kids sometimes.

I can cook without a recipe but I can't bake without one. That way lies madness.

I swim about as well as I play piano and guitar--I can get it done but it may not be that aesthetically pleasing.

Sometimes I enjoy writing. Other times it's more like a compulsion.

I've read books this year but none that were part of a series so far. The last time I read a series was probably when I read Trollope's Barchester Chronicles a couple of years ago. My latest non-series book was Manning Marable's biography of Malcolm X (the audiobook version, which I highly recommend).

I very rarely get to travel and I'm a bit envious of those who do.

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

Today is my 16th anniversary with my partner (our getting together anniversary, not the wedding one, which is in December). He was my best friend when we started dating.

The friend I'm closest to at the moment is someone I've only known for about four years. I do have some close friends I've known a lot longer, though.

Making online friends and meeting them in "real life" is the best. It's been way too long since I did that. I've made some really important friends that way, including a friend who was my person of honor at my wedding and one of my closest friends in the city where I currently live.

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days //I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I'm a huge fan of rain and storms. Even though it rains a lot in the PNW, I still miss Central Texas rain. The drizzly days here are nice, don't get me wrong, and overall the weather suits me far better. But I miss big, hard rains with thunder and stuff. I could go for one of those freaky horizontal deluges with golfball-sized hail and thunder that shakes your house. I don't want to be out in it, or not for long. But I'd love to look out the window at one right about now.

Freud wrote about an "oceanic" feeling where human beings have a sense of oneness with the universe (his friend coined the term and he ran with it). It's not a coincidence that this term references the ocean. The ocean just has an effect on the human psyche/nervous system that we haven't begun to understand.

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

I'm only a mom friend on request and with people I'm close to, but I enjoy my mom friend duties when I get the chance.

Are there people who don't enjoy Mexican food? I miss Tex-Mex so danged much.

Sometimes when I can't fall asleep I make up stories. One of my go-to things is stuff that that might happen after the endings of Austen novels. For example, if Mr. Darcy is going to be Jane Bennet's brother-in-law he is going to have to apologize for the bullshit he pulled when he interfered in her relationship with Bingley. And he'd better do a good job, too.

My favorite song to sing in the shower is Great Potential by Freakwater.

I'm usually shy about tagging so I'm going to forego it this time but if you're reading this, please feel free to use me as an excuse to do this!

#question meme thing #getting acquainted #uncharacteristic self-disclosure

[pizzaheadtv]

Hi! And welcome to my Pizza Tower blog. This is my awesome epic pinned post that will have all of the information you need!

Let's start with the TAGGING SYSTEM

I always loved themed tags. So. Considering the theme of my blog is televisions... we'll go with that!

PTV News Channel - Any analysis or theory posts I do

Director's Cut - Posts from me that aren't analysis or theories

PTV Arts Channel - Idk if this will ever get used but just in case I post art (or writing) here that I made, here is the tag

Special Guest Episode - Crossovers

Squid Tower - My adventures in Splatoon as Noisette

And all characters are tagged with their names. I also rb Sugary Spire art here too so those will also be tagged as Sugary Spire.

Spoilers will not be tagged. I assume you know spoilers if you follow me, considering this blog is themed on the final boss.

More tags might be added as I think of them!

Okay now. DNIs. I will block you if you're pro ship, aka the fancy term for "I'm okay with children being in romantic relationships with adults or siblings/cousins being in romantic relationships with each other". I will also block you if you're a terf, homophobic, racist, or anti semitic. So don't follow me, this isn't a place for you.

I'm going to talk about this here too. Yes, I know about the controversy. But I am still going to interact with this game and enjoy it.

McPig may have said some racist things five years ago, and he put caricatures in the game, but what he's not doing is donating the money he gets to hate groups. He's not using his platform to continue to be racist and to convince people to agree with him. While the apology wasn't perfect, he did say he regretted it instead of ignoring it or confirming that he stayed the same by doubling down on the racist things he had done in the past.

I see people talk about FNAF all the time despite the creator using the funds to donate to republicans. People still love Stranger Things despite its anti semitism. People love Undertale and Deltarune even though Toby Fox has collabed with "problematic" people, was friends with Andrew Hussie, and even has some racist and anti semitic stuff in his games. Hell, even Splatoon has its faults. The only reason PT is so easy to condemn is because it's new, and people love to hate popular things.

Point is- I'm not going to throw away an entire game just because of caricatures in the game. Maybe it's because I'm used to it already being in everything (I watch a lot of old cartoons). Maybe it's because I've experienced far worse hate towards me, my family, and friends irl than a couple of caricatures.

I still think it's bad. I still think it should be changed. And I'm not going to buy any merch or any dlcs unless things in Pizza Tower change.

Sometimes you just have to be uncomfortable. The caricatures in PT should be making you uncomfortable, they are not okay. And I'm not just ignoring them. I'm not going to defend the dev either. There is not an excuse for what he said and did.

And if McPig ends up to still be spouting hate and saying racist stuff and using his fame to spread more hate? Then I'll eat my own words and try to distance myself from the game.

And with that, let's wrap up this pinned post!

Feel free to send me asks to talk about the characters, I love talking about stuff!

Also my pizza tower discord server is RIGHT HERE! It's small and quiet but we love talking about Pizza Tower.

This is an awkward and abrupt end, but so be it.

[lizzienaut]

leaving the community

oh man, hardly thought i’d see the day when this would happen. i’m not really sure where to start this post to be honest, so apologies in advance for having to read my poorly thought out ramblings.

for those that don't wanna read, the tl;dr = i'm furthering myself from the sfw community, this blog is going on a permanent hiatus, you can find me @buntopiia or @kinkynaut if youre 18+, im just generally unhappy and tired here but im so grateful for all of the support and all the super cool friends i made here <33 its not goodbye forever!!

it’s been a good run, hasn’t it? but then again, it’s not like im going away completely — i'm still gonna be active on tumblr, just not in the sfw side of the tickle community. i'll also be active on my new main, which is @buntopiia, so if you aren't 18+ or just arent comfy with nsfw content, you can still find me there if you ever wish to talk.

so here comes the nitty gritty of it all; i just don't enjoy being here anymore. im sure its super apparent to everyone that the sfw community is always on the brink of tearing itself apart, barely being held together by its seams - and to be honest, i'm just completely over it. it seems that we can't go a day here without someone getting death threats or being told to kill themselves over the way they perceive their interest in tickling, which is such a stupid fuckin sentence to type out, but here we are.

the rampant hatred everyone seems to have for each other is draining. and this isn't about the anons that i've gotten specifically- i found those funny more than anything (i'm still a slut well denizen at heart), but a whole slew of other things as well. the constant drama feels reminiscent of high school, and come to think of it, it's probably because the sfw community is filled mainly with minors. mostly ones who don't know how to cultivate their own online experience and blame the adults for it, but i digress. every callout post is just a reminder of how toxic and shitty the sfw side of the community can be. lots of people hide behind the "sfw" title to seem innocent and approachable. lots of people demonize the nsfw community for everything that happens here. but in all honesty, when's the last time you've seen any big drama from the nsfw community?

lots of people stay in their own little bubble there, curating their own content and reblogging from each other solely. i find that (most) adults are very good at following their dni criteria and keeping minors away, even if they don't listen. and the fact that the kinksters are so harshly spoken about by the sfw community is another major factor as to why i'm leaving.

i have a tickle fetish. i see tickling as something both nonsexual in platonic scenarios and sexual in romantic ones (in my own life, of course). hearing people constantly saying having a fetish is gross or vile or whatever is genuinely upsetting, which is why i was in denial about it for the longest time. i felt disgusting for it. i was so ashamed and terrified of people finding out, because i thought it would make me some kind of "pervert" or something, which also sounds incredibly stupid when i type it out.

like seriously, this is a post about tickling. the fact that we have drama and community politics over here is the dumbest shit i've ever heard lmfao

but yeah. i feel safer in the nsfw community than i do here now. i'll post the occasional fluffy tickle art on my main, but other than that, all of my content will be posted onto my kink account. and you're more than welcome to interact with my main!! you dont even need to be on anon or a main yourself, im more than okay with tickle blogs interacting with me. it isnt something im ashamed of anymore, and being in the nsfw community has helped me overcome that fear. being unabashedly kinky is extremely freeing, tbh.

its been fun and ive seriously enjoyed my time here with you guys <33 again, i'm not gone completely! i'm just distancing myself from the "sfw" brand and moving on to other things. thank you for everything <3

#important #liz peeps™ #tickling

[iantimony]

shabbosposting take 2

one day late, bonus edition: 2022 recap + 2023 goals

listening: I made a playlist of hebrew/yiddish metal and prog so that's been a highlight recently, I really like orphaned land so far

edit: i also have free bird stuck in my head bc we did fake karaoke in my friend's basement on new years eve and my bf put it on and now It Will Not Leave

reading: nothing to be honest ... oops ...

watching: finished Bocchi the rock, extremely charming, sparked joy. I've been rewatching hbomberguy video essays because they are reliable and good to have on in the background

playing: a little more hadesgame, Thinking about disco elysium and w101 but I haven't actually done it

making: I did do some embroidery! unfortunately I was. Very optimistic about how much I would get done over break. I brought it home with me with the intention that I could mail it from here but I am going to definitely have to bring it back with me lol

BONUS: what delights have I experienced?

walking around: kinda minor still, mostly just walking the dog

fellowship: part of why I am Very tired is because I have completely filled my schedule with seeing friends :") so I have really had no time to myself at all which is kinda overwhelming. but it's been really good to see everybody! I just wish I had a little more time to fit everything in and not feel so crammed

deliciousness: did a christmas day brunch at ceruleanvulpine's, super delicious spread with eggs, french toast, bagels, sausage, little cookies...dinner at the bf's place after, lamb and kebab and pesto pasta and just kind of a fun mishmash of different style foods...indian food at a friend's place new years eve...and then new years day brunch yesterday with cold cuts and I made my favorite orzo salad. I made myself a BANGIN sandwich today with the leftovers it was great

goofing, transcendence, amelioration, enthrallment, wildcard n/a

---

general reflection

2022 was kind of a weird and bad year! I spent most of the first half of 2022 dealing with the fallout of Dead Parent Zone, got a bad enough grade in a class that for the first time ever I had to retake it, and grappling with being so far from home for school while also dealing with all that shit. then I took on way too many obligations for the fall semester and shot my mental health in the foot a bit as a result.

there were some good things too, though - I was nervous about how a long-distance relationship would go but it's honestly going so, so well and he's been a real source of joy for me this past year. I did pass my classes even though it was a struggle so I don't have to retake anything again, and I already planned to do less next semester. despite it all I did finish a little art, and I got back into life drawing, and had a lot of good moments with friends. in general I think graduate school has been a good choice for me so far, and as much as I bitch and moan about indiana it's like, Fine,

but actually the people are really good, I have a great support network, and ultimately I think it'll continue to be good. it's really made me appreciate the east coast LOL

2023

as ceruleanvulpine said in their resolutionpost, I wanna make more weird art! in general I want to create more and fill the enthrallment, amelioration, and transcendence delight categories more often. I want to finish this embroidery project (ideally soon), the knitted tank top I did that just needs the straps, scarf for my SO...I'd love to start writing again and play more horn but we'll see

I also wanna listen to more weird music, and invest in actually owning some files, especially for some of the lesser-known bands and through bandcamp and stuff

this past year I definitely fell back into some of my more unhealthy coping mechanisms just to deal with the day-to-day (specifically extreme dissociation), I really want to kind of dial those back again, focus more on existing in Reality and more in each moment, which hopefully will also help with some of the skin picking and other anxious habits that resurfaced. maybe more yoga, maybe re-establishing a meditation process, idk yet but I'll work towards it

I would love to think more about my fashion and how I present myself too, and work on making and tailoring more of my clothing in general

I've been pretty good about being active so I'd like to keep that up, I still can't do a pull-up but maybe this is the year! (lol) I should also start doing some minor exercises for my shitty arthritis toes to keep those okay

a lot of last year was kind of a wash regarding research so I'm really looking forward to refocusing on that and really getting things moving.

finally! I want to get back to tabletop! I miss doing it so much! it fell by the wayside for me because of how busy and overwhelmed I was, especially this past fall semester, but I want to start running and playing games with my pals again.

maybe Too Many things listed here, a little ambitious, but maybe that way I'll be able to hit at least one or two of them :b here's to 2023 and making it better than 2022!

#tuesdayposting #2023