#i mean i do try to actually win i just tend to always fuckin lose

[ugh-againwiththenames]

A Musical Social Experiment...Destiel.

Alright, so I thought to myself, while playing along with @thenightwemetnatural​‘s Destiel song picks, that despite my musical tastes, and them tending typically (although not exclusively) towards the Metal genres, that EVERY song can in some way, be paralleled to Destiel. This is such a ridiculous experiment, and I apologize, but I’m at the cottage, and it’s fucking pouring with rain, so let’s play…

Here are the rules: take your Music library and throw it on Shuffle – every song that comes on for an hour(ish), connect it to Destiel...(below the cut for my results).

You can access the playlist here (if you have any interest in listening along!). I am not going to necessarily describe every possible connection - I think that a lot of them are SUPER obvious...like *eyes rolling out of my head* obvious...

In the End – Black Veil Brides – Well we’re off to a hell of a start, as this song from start to finish screams Destiel and sacrifice. In the end As my soul's laid to rest What is left of my body Or am I just a shell? And I have fought And with flesh and blood I commanded an army Through it all I have given my heart for a moment of glory Who will remember this last goodbye 'Cause it's the end and I'm not afraid I'm not afraid to die A Modern Way - The Exies – only on song 2, and it’s once again, really hard to cut out any of this song, as the repeating “I’m bound by my insecurities” SCREAMS Dean at me.

I’m Bound by my insecurities

Open your eyes and Throw your arms around me I need the right not to fight To breathe

Swallow the lies I'm the one to blame Having no voice left to choose Am i so blind, feeling justified When i'm alone and confused

Brother – NEEDTOBREATHE – I have to laugh…as I added this after watching Jensen sing this at a Con (for J*red), and no lie, I’m in LOVE with it, but it’s somehow now determinably connected to the brothers for me but I can/WILL draw the lines here…EASY.

Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were Now my hands can’t reach that far I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone I know that in my weakness I am strong, but It’s your love that brings me home Summoners Rift – Dangerkids – Um. Well. The first line of this song just made me laugh out loud.

There's no room for martyrs in a dying scene Well I'm not quite dead I'm something in between

And if I had another chance I would tell you

I guess I'm not afraid of what comes after We are the only ones We stand alone in the dark

Question everything you blindly follow Truth's a bitter pill, it's hard to swallow You think you're winning but your time is borrowed We are the only ones We stand alone in the dark

Royal Beggars - Architects - I mean…the repetition of my sentiments is going to get a bit silly…so i will not. read on...

All hope is dead, but we're coping

Somebody save our souls

Like a bird in a cage, trying to fly away Is this the price that we have to pay? Overflowing with rage, yet we still obey 'Cause we're asleep in a hurricane

We sit on a throne, waiting for God to bend the knee But we're nothing more than royal beggars

Edge of your Bed - Thousand Below - “why’d you have to go and keep calling out my name” Calling out my name” pure purgatory “where’s the ANGEL” “I prayed to you Cas, Every night” The rest of the next verse is also poignant, very Dean again “where I can only feel peace when the wave hits”, “and I’ve become what I thought was wrong, I love the feeling when it feels too strong”.  

Why'd you have to go and keep calling out my name? Calling out my name

I found sorrow at the edge of your bed

Is it now a bad habit? Where I can only feel peace when the wave hits And I've become what I thought was wrong I love the feeling when it feels too strong

Animals – Siamese - “It takes a killer that thinks he’s a saint, it takes believing to be this insane” – well. yes. ok. 

Shattered not broken We stand our feet Houses rebuild on These bloody streets I fill my lungs into this beat With closed eyes we're hoping for remedy

It takes a killer That thinks he's a saint It takes believing To be this insane

Spineless Crow - Hands Like Houses

We were young together but I've grown ancient Cracked and weathered and filled with regret Waiting to sink, rushing to sink in my sleep

The realization sinks in through the skin Like a disease, a blight inside of me Missing your touch, your weight on my fingers

My Underworld - Tonight Alive

Now we sail into deep blue storm clouds Overhead now, strangely I feel at peace as I dive into My underworld, world I dive into my underworld, world Down in these depths I'm adding up the numbers Of all I've suffered in past lives, tied down in the darkness Finally I begin to learn what I've returned tonight Time has come to begin again, leave something else behind

Ever After - Marianas Trench - All this talk of being someone’s disaster – Welp! Hello!

Don't you move Can't you stay where you are, just for now I could be your perfect disaster You could be my ever after

Apologies, I'm not myself but I can guarantee That when I get back, you won't believe That you knew me well Don't want to think about it

I'm fuckin' tired of getting sick about it Now stand back up and be a man about it And fight for something, fight for something, fight for something Nobody told ya this is gonna fold ya We go marching in like toy soldiers To have and hold ya over sold ya They’re marching like toy soldiers I'll be your disaster, ever after So fire away Goodbye

Room 138 - Asking Alexandria - While this song is clearly actually about an overdose of some kind, it’s parallels shockingly well to the post confession scene.   So these are the walls that have to hold this moment Somebody hear me, someone open up the door Get me up off of this floor and stop the shaking, the shaking Through the haze I saw a face A second chance, another life to live How did you forgive me? Held my head against your chest Told me everything's alright, don't be afraid Close your eyes and rest

Witness – Daughtry

Does it feel like you're just wasting time Here without a reason or a rhyme The answer you've been looking for Is standing right before your weary eyes And if the weight of the world is on you now But you know you can turn it all around again How Many Walls - Rise Against  - Guys, seriously, I’m not even going there...How many years have we wasted….how many walls can you put up? How many guns til you feel safe? This is a song about war – this is Rise Against, this is purely political and somehow can STILL be pulled together with Destiel.

 How many walls can you put up?

How many guns 'til you feel safe? How many times can we watch this story Over and over and over again? And how many years have we wasted Counting the lies that we've been fed? For something to change we have waited Over and over and over again Pray – Picturesque - Nope. Don’t even need a description here. Once again this is FAR TOO OBVIOUS!

I should pray a little more and think a little less The devils in my head and he won't let me rest Everyday just like the last since you up and left I should pray a little more, I shouldn't pray for death I Knew You Were Trouble – We Came as Romans (Swift Cover) - SwiftNatural is a thing for a reason… 

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories. It just all comes back. But he never does. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him. It was losing me. Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago I was in your sights, you got me alone You found me

I knew you were trouble when you walked in (you were right there, you were right there) So shame on me now Flew me to places I'd never been Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground Texas Is Forever - Pierce the Veil – lack of communication anyone? I don’t know, do we know anyone like that? If anything should happen to me I want you to know, I’ve loved you since ever…

Here we are If anything should happen to me I want you to know I've loved you since ever since then Don't dance around me I know what it means No communication, cannot be received But I'm such a sucker for the rain, yeah Oh, here we are Butterfly - Wearing Scars – the Butterfly/Angel parallel alone…go with it.

Seems we're alone We're fixated Just waiting for something As time goes by And when we're way up high We'll look back down with different eyes Let's take our time Awake this life So spread your wings And take my hand Tonight will be the end

With Grace - The Weight of Atlas

This place looks like hell to me I cast myself into the sea Picked up my conscience and left my disease I don't know, I don't know if I can make it through this storm Keep your eyes shut it will be okay. Will we make it out alive? Will we make it out alive. When all you have is hope I will be your anchor I know that I can let you down But I swear I'll pick up the pieces. And be reborn again I Always Wanted to Leave - The Plot In You

I guess it's a shame I'm so damn destructive And you're so reluctant to mean what you say The way you act so abused The things you confuse You know I always wanted to leave "Hello... You can sing, I'm here And I love you more than anyone or anything With all my heart."

Unsteady - X Ambassadors – just a stay parallel. Don’t leave, don’t let go. If you love me. Don’t let go. #I haz the sads.

Hold on to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady If you love me Don't let go Bury Me Alive - Normandie – pick a line – ANY LINE!!! 

I guess I'm not going to heaven now I got caught in the chase Now I'm falling from grace But I never stood a chance Could've given me a sign I'd be giving you blind obedience Mantra – Bring Me The Horizon Before the truth will set you free, it will piss you off Before you find a place to be, you're gonna lose the plot Too late to tell you now, one ear and right out the other one 'Cause all you ever do is chant the same old mantra Could I have your attention, please? It's time to tap into your tragedy Think you could use a new abuser Close your eyes and listen carefully Imagine you're stood on a beach Water gently lapping at your feet And now you're sinking, what were you thinking? That's all the time we have this week

Oh Lord - In This Moment – cutting any of this out was actually hard. Cas, my love, are you there?

Oh Lord won't you save me Save me from my soul Oh Lord won't you forgive me For I have lost control Oh Lord won't you tell me Am I the righteous or the damned? Oh Lord won't you please hear me Do I obey or do I command? Oh Lord please forgive me For what I'm about to do Oh Lord won't you believe me I'll burn in hell for you Oh Lord won't you teach me Teach me how to see Oh Lord tell me you love me Am I Lillith or am I Eve?

Bleeding is a Luxury - Atreyu

I’ve talked the talk, I've walked the walk, It's taken ten fucking years, For them to see I don't need their approval. I've paid the piper, I've stayed my course, Lived chomping at the bit. With only blood, sweat, and tears to adhere to- Take it for granted, Forsake the costs, Wear a big, shit-eating grin (with only blood, sweat, and tears to adhere to) Now bear the burden to chase your fate Grind your teeth 'til it fucking hurts So they can see I don't need their approval. Seize the day, Take your beatings, Lead the way, Or decay as you fall down... You fall down.

Would you Still be There - Of Mice & Men – wow, this song in full. All of it. I can’t.

If I could find the words, if I could shake the world, If I could turn back time would you still be there? I can't stop thinking about the way I left you sinking with no escape. Now there's no lifeline, no way to save. But maybe next time I won't throw it all away. Dislocated, I lie awake Suffocating in my mistakes. I lost my halo when I fell from grace, But maybe next time I won't throw it all away. I ask myself everyday... If I could find the words, if I could shake the world, If I could turn back time would you still be there? If I could find the words to say, If I could shake the world to break you down, Then would you still be there?

The Broken - 3 Doors Down 

This is the call to the broken, the broken Take it from me. They don't care if you're lonely. As you can see, They don't care if you're scared. Your heart Is the only friend you have in this whole world. Don't start, Think you can do this yourself. I know what you're thinking. You say you're tired of keeping score, keeping score. Trust me, You're not the only one going through this. You see, I've been through this before, this before.

Wow, I Hate This Song - The Used – this one took a little imagination – hardest one so far – because it really is just about hating a song! So we’re HC’ing the Zepp track that reminds Dean most of Cas, post Empty.

Every time I hear the key I see you in the melody It never was a part of me Heart feels like it's being stabbed Kills me emotionally Dirty Little Secret - Bullet For My Valentine – let’s take this back to – take your pick…Leviathan!Cas, Godstiel, Casifer, any of the times that Cas did the wrong thing for the right reasons…and did not tell his boy. 

There once was a time Where everything was just so perfect Now everything has changed And you've become a total stranger I've seen another side to you I never even knew existed Dirty little secrets, dirty little secrets Giving in to your primal instincts There once was a time When anything I do is for you But everything has changed And I've become a lonely prisoner I'd kill, even die for you You never even tried resisting

Kill Plan - Parabelle

I'm sitting stunned just like a lesson I never learned Made of emotions and mistakes And what you say Leaves me lost and in the way And that's the place you stay Remember silence Now we're painted into corners So we can watch the world get sold out Hold me closer don't let the sun in Hold me closer don't let the sun in Cuz the setting sun feels like a cage Don't let me defend the kill plan

Roman Sky – Avenged Sevenfold – This song only has a few lyrics, but we can definitely make them work.

As the embers rose through the Roman Sky Tell me, were you calm when they took your life? Just before you go, tell us how the heavens flow Weightless evermore, as you walk beyond that door Shine forever true To Those Left Behind – blessthefall – these boys might be my favourite band ever, but these are ANGRY lyrics – these are about betrayal.  This is a relationship gone wrong. I feel these best work with the divorce arc, the Angry Dean that we see, or Dean’s mood after any of the “Cas fucked up again” moments. You found me at my worst When I was far too weak to grow In spite of all my fears And how I may have lost my way Only now I know the truth

Awake and coming clean

If you can't sleep It's your conscience That's eating away At the mess you made So let's end this Sew this last stitch Lift this weight off my chest I'll put you to rest The past should stay dead

How did we find ourselves here? Haunted by our own design With everything that's come to pass Makes it harder to confine

#supernatural #destiel #dean #cas #spotify #song challenge #i challenge you to do the same #can you also connect dots? #why was this so EASY #I guess 12 years of pining helped #so much possible material to draw on #look I was bored and music is my thing #this is dumb but it was also really kind of fun #I love these two idiots

[snarkwrites]

mine | tim speedle | csi:miami

Notes:

Okay, so here’s the thing.. Those smutty one shots and the one shot I wrote at Christmas about Tim Speedle and an ofc who was an old girlfriend? They were originally part of this huge backstory I came up with years ago too and like.. Given that I’m posting the backstory in bits for Greg, I thought why not do the same for Tim. So, if you were ever wondering where the OC from the christmas one shot came from.. This is her. A little more thought out and less vague. Anything not explained there, or in the smut I’ve already posted and plan to post eventually, will be explained here.. Because fuckkit.. Might as well make this a chapter thing too...

Pairing:

Tim Speedle x OFC, Sylvie.

Warnings:

Uhh.. Angst and unresolved feelings at first. Filth you’ve all already seen but more to come.. Maybe a little action and suspense? because I have plans for this one, mhm.

Oh. Right off the bat.. Ya’ll are not gonna like Ryan Wolfe in here at first if I’ve done my job properly. Because as it went on the show, he’s gonna be... hard to warm to here. I chose to keep him in and have him, as well as Cardoza and others, working on the shift opposite of Tim.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@twistnet​ 

[ faq | tag list doc | soundtrack ] 

                                            ONE.

“Damn. Are you even gonna open this and humor a thought of going?” Eric waved around the class reunion invite that Tim had gotten in the mail and tossed on the counter. From across the room, Tim continued to dig around in the fridge, trying to find the case of beer he’d picked up on his way in.

He was refusing to answer the question.

Grabbing the case of beer, he sat them on the folding table they’d set up in the living room to play poker at and he took a beer out for himself, popping it against the counter, taking a long sip from the bottle.

Eric was already in the kitchen. Throwing together the traditional go to sandwich for their poker nights.

“Hey, that new guy’s not comin, right?”

“Wolfe? Yeah.. I think Walter with his big mouth invited him.”

“Goddamn it.” Tim swore, grumbling. “There’s just something off about the guy, I’m telling you.”

“Either way, it’s not our problem, man. He’s on the other shift, remember? Are you gonna answer my question, Speed, or do I have to drag the answer out of you, buddy?” Eric asked, giving Tim a pointed look.

Walter stepped into Tim’s apartment with Ryan coming into view right behind him. Tim’s jaw set and when Walter asked “Drag what answer out of Speed, man? What’d I miss?” as he wandered over to grab himself a beer and take a seat at the table, Tim shrugged. “It’s nothing, Walt. Forget Eric here ran his big fuckin mouth.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothin, you grouch.” Eric remarked, chuckling when Tim gave him what he thought was a silencing glare. As per usual, it did not work.

Ryan, the new guy, spoke up from over nearby Tim’s fridge, nodding to a photo booth strip held on by a magnet. “Is this your girl, Speed? Damn… you never mentioned you were seeing a model.” as he shook his head and let out a low and appreciative whistle.

Eric’s gaze settled on the photo strip and then back on Tim. Tim was all but trying not to explode. Getting defensive and touchy as he tended to whenever that particular strip of photos came into a conversation. He tried to give Ryan the subtlest shake of the head no, but it was too late.

Tim was already lost to thought, dwelling on the past.

Ryan eyed him, a brow raised. “Sore subject?” he questioned. Eric glared at Ryan and grumbled, giving Tim a silent look of agreement about the new guy. Tim nodded and smirked, mouthing back “Told you so, idiot.” before fixing his gaze on Ryan and shrugging. “Not really, no. We dated for a while.”

“High school and college.” Eric spoke up, ignoring Tim’s glare. “What? It’s true, right? That’s not just a while, Tim. That’s literally almost a decade, man.” 

“Are you going to let me answer the guy Eric,or nah?” Tim asked, giving Eric another pointed glare as he took the worn deck of cards and shuffled them a few times, starting to deal. When Eric went quiet, Tim continued. “I took the job here. We broke up.”

“The man is lying. What happened was he didn’t ask her to come with and she didn’t try to stop him. So they never actually broke up. They just lost touch. And if you got that invite man, maybe…”

“Invite to what?” Ryan asked, an amused look as he fixed his gaze on Tim. So far, he got the suspicion that neither Tim nor Eric were particularly warming up to him, but it didn’t really matter. He was there because Walter asked if he wanted to play a few hands. And given that of everyone they worked with, so far Walter was the only real welcoming member of the forensics team on either shift, he wasn’t about to turn it down.

If nothing, he figured, he could show Eric and Tim up in a game or two and then leave… Unless the current conversation and it’s effect on Tim Speedle proved to be too interesting and amusing to continue to pass up.

“Class reunion. If I wanted to go back and listen to a bunch of douchebag jocks talk about their glory days, I’d go.” Tim answered, grumbling and shifting around in his chair, wondering when in the hell they were all going to get off the subject.

“She might be there man, you never know.”

“Eric, if it were going to work out in the first place, one of us would’ve said or done something. We wouldn’t have just left it the way it was.” Tim pointed out. Turning his attention to his hand as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, brown eyes carefully surveying the other men around the table.

He smirked when he realized that of them all, the only one who was really good at keeping a consistent poker face was Eric. Then again, Tim thought to himself, Eric knows me too well. He knows I learned how to read him like a book years ago. 

“She’s in Miami right now, actually. I saw her in the lobby of that high end hotel earlier today when our team got called to work that double homicide.” Ryan smirked as he just casually dropped the bombshell. Holding Tim’s gaze a few seconds. Trying to get a read on the guy, see if he might have a winning hand this round.

Tim nearly choked on the sip of Michelob he’d taken and eyed Ryan. The guy had to be trying to bullshit him. Probably to cover for his lack of a poker face, Tim mused, smirking at Ryan as he did so. “She lives in New York, buddy. You probably saw somebody who looked like her. I doubt you saw her.”

“Oh trust me… You don’t see a girl like that a time or two and confuse her with somebody else.” Ryan smirked right back, waiting on his words to hit the intended mark before dropping the bigger bombshell. “Her name is Sylvie, right? Because that’s what the frat boys hounding her for selfies and autographs called her.” 

Just the slightest drop of Tim Speedle’s jaw was enough to make Ryan’s entire night. At this point, he was just genuinely enjoying having a rib at the guy. It wasn’t a secret around the lab that Eric Delko and Tim Speedle were nothing if not tight knit. That’s why it surprised more than a few people when the two seemed to just welcome Walter with open arms and no hesitation. And yet, they went above and beyond to cop snide attitudes with both himself and another man he worked with, Jesse Cardoza.

Tim eyed Ryan, a brow raised. Then he just shrugged. “It’s your play, Wolfe.” he barely managed to unclench his jaw enough to say it, but he did. He hoped that his tone would clearly indicate that for tonight, the topic was over. Even though he knew already that no thanks to Ryan’s words, tonight was going to be a long one for him…

Was she really in Miami? Or was Ryan just being an asshole as per usual?...

,, he’s gotta be saying it to get a rise and more of the story outta me… that’s it... unless she’s here. She does travel a lot, man.. Your ma is always real quick to tell you about every single move she makes when you call back home every Sunday.” Tim shoved the intrusive thought out of his head and it was immediately followed by another. ,, It’s been years and nothing but silence. Neither of us tried to keep in touch and it’s not like we couldn’t... But.. she did come to you in the hospital that first few nights... if she wanted you to know she was there, she would have stayed, just drop the what ifs or you’re going to lose your goddamn mind.” 

Ryan made his call and Tim smirked, shoving some more chips into the middle of the table. “I see your King and raise you.”

Eric nearly spat his drink. He eyed Ryan, wondering if the guy had any idea of the wrath he’d probably just unleashed on himself by pushing buttons as openly as he had been. And he felt bad for the guy. Just because he worked with Cardoza, it didn’t necessarily make him the same.

He leaned in and offered up a quiet warning into Ryan’s ear when Tim got up to go and grab himself one of the Cuban sandwiches sitting on a plate near the stove. “You might want to lay off, Wolfe. Tim’s still hurting and bitter as hell about her, but too damn stubborn to do anything.”

“Which is fucking stupid, if you ask me.” Ryan answered, gazing across the room, smirking as he called out to Tim, “Hey, can I get another beer, man?”

Tim gave him the finger and flopped back into his chair, taking a few bites of his sandwich. “If you get up and get it, yeah. By all means.” Tim chuckled as Ryan gave him a dirty look, but after a little grumbling, he got up and grabbed himself a beer.

“What would you do if she was in town, man?” Eric was the one who asked the question.

Tim pretended not to hear him, but it wasn’t something that he wasn’t already wondering about himself. Did he even really need -or deserve for that matter, to do anything?

XXX

“6 am, sharp.”

“Rex if you remind me one more time about this stupid photo shoot, I swear to fuck, I’ll cancel. I came to Miami to relax. Not be hounded and have gigs booked for me. This was supposed to be my vacation, you’re literally not even supposed to be here.” I rolled onto my stomach on the hotel bed. The patio doors were open and the breeze blowing in off the ocean was relaxing.

Or it had been until Rex felt fit to show up and ruin things.

To be fair, I thought to myself, you’re the one who won’t just tell the guy that you’re not re-signing with his agency when your contract ends. But he seriously couldn’t take a fucking hint when I left on a red-eye and didn’t think he should know?

I was flipping through the television when I happened on a local news show. And they were showing an interview at Miami Dade PD about a pending case that was pretty huge in the media right now.

But that wasn’t what was catching my attention at all.

My eyes fixed on the five seconds glimpse I got of Tim as he hurried into the station. So handsome that I could feel my heart breaking all over again at the sight of him. I sighed and turned off the television.

I wound up on the balcony, staring down at the streets below. Wondering what he was doing right now.. Trying to imagine just how differently everything might have actually gone if I’d been braver back then. If I’d spoken up. Told him that I loved him and I didn’t want to lose touch or for us to be over.

I could’ve come with him.

And then I remembered the fear I felt the night my mom called me, fresh off the phone with his mom… The night I almost lost him.

And I remembered the feeling I felt when I finally made it to his side, a whole two days later. Seeing him lying there in that bed, hovering between life and death. The fear that he’d wake up and he’d want me to leave over-ruling every basic instinct in me that was telling me to stay. Take care of him. At the very least, get some closure. I didn’t deserve him then and the fact remained.

I don’t deserve him now, either. And too much time has gone by... I’d lost any right to tell him how I felt now. He probably had his own happy life. A better one. Who would I be to come in and lay it all on the line and destroy that?

If I’m being truly honest with myself here, I’ve never actually deserved Tim Speedle. And I’ve always known it. It’s why I had to let him go back then and a big reason why I was fighting myself so hard to keep from going to him now.

But I wanted him so badly. I needed him.

Everything felt wrong without him. I tried to move on, I tried convincing myself he was a high school and college boyfriend and my best childhood friend before that, but deep down, I knew.

Tim Speedle was, is and will always be, the man I love.

But I’m not good enough for him and hopefully, he’s moved on by now. God I hope he’s happy.

The thought had me taking a few shaky breaths and wiping away a tear that had been lingering in my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheek. I wandered back inside and even though I knew it wasn’t a good idea… I found myself searching his name.

Biting my lip as my heart skipped a beat or two when I realized that his phone number was still the same. And it was listed, not private.

I’m not exactly sure why, but I went to my contacts. And for a good ten minutes, I hovered over his name… I actually went as far as to pull up the conversation box and read over the last conversation we had. Before I realized it, I was crying again and that empty feeling was creeping back in…

,, you came all the way to Miami. You can’t keep living like this…” my brain taunted me. And then, another thought crept in, ,, if you wanted him, you shouldn’t have just let him leave without saying so. All you had to do was tell him you wanted to come. What, were you expecting some flowery proposal? For him to drop the chance of a lifetime for you? And what if he had, huh? What then? You know he would’ve hated you and by now, you two would be over… Nobody ever stays...Your own father couldn’t even be bothered to stick around, Syl… The man has probably forgotten all about you by now.”  and before my mind got any darker, I slipped off the bed and grabbed my favorite jacket. Maybe taking a ride down to the Keys would help me get this off my mind. Or driving a few blocks over, going to the beach to look at the stars.

All I did know was that suddenly, it felt like the very vast and open space in this 5 star hotel room was rapidly closing all around me.

#tim speedle fanfiction #tim speedle fanfic #tim speedle fic #tim speedle imagine #tim speedle imagines #my writing ; tim speedle #my fanfiction ; tim speedle #my fics ; tim speedle #// so.. here we go.

[katsutomos]

hello, i’m kosmo (she/her) and i’m v excited to be here hehehe! thank u for having me! ;; also i didn’t realise that both kosmo and tomo end the with the same letters & now i wanna d*e but oh well pls ignore that! (: anyw, i’m here introduce TOMO!! there’s probably some stuff i left out here but it ended up having a word count of almost 2.5k so i’m just going to stop myself while i’m ahead! i’ll finish off my stats & bio pages soon and then i’ll try to think up some plots but here’s all this for now!

(tw: suicide mention, brief drug mentions)

BASIC STATS

NAME / tomo katsumura; his full name is tomohiko but nobody calls him that except his mum & grandparents like literally everybody else knows him as tomo NICKNAMES / technically, tomo IS a nickname but he’s so used it that not using a nickname with him is :knife emoji: -- also katsutomo but that one’s more of fan-title-nickname rather than one he actually uses (as much as he came up with it himself tweeting it out like ‘you guys can call me katsutomo from now on if you like ^^’ before changing all his handles to that exact name). other than that, he’s a bit iffy about nicknames. he likes them if HE came up with them but giving him a nickname is usually Yikes City (unless he decides it’s cute and lets u do it, i guess) AGE & DOB / twenty-three & 6th november 1995 BIRTHPLACE / LA, USA ETHNICITY / japanese OCCUPATION / actor! he dabbles in modelling but it’s more of an ‘i got asked to model this thing bc i’m famous and they’re paying me (:’ type deal than it being something he’s actually personally into. whereas acting is his PASSION.

EARLY LIFE

to start with, let’s talk about his parents; his dad, born and raised in america, was an actor who eventually made a move into directing but ultimately committed suicide at age 38 & his mother, born and raised in japan, is a socialite who had started off as a teen idol in the 80s. his parents had also divorced when tomo was still young, a few years before his dad’s death, so he uses his mother’s surname. tomo does not get on with her but, thanks to the sense of guilt she’s raised into him, he can’t bring himself to cut her out of his life completely. 

basically, she’s got hang ups about the way her idol career ended so she kind of pushed tomo into the spotlight (which was fine for him because he wanted to act) but she grew envious of him after he got out of his teens and doesn’t like the decisions he makes. it’s a mutual issue. they mostly don’t get on because they can’t see eye to eye or really speak to each other at length without arguing.

his mum actually wanted him to break into acting when he was about nine because he’d already taken an interest in it by then. because her career had ended early, she took the approach of ‘he won’t be cute forever, what if we wait too long and he loses his chance?’ but his father, who had his own issues with the industry, strongly disagreed. this disagreement was one small contributing factor for their divorce; they had plenty of other issues as well but this didn’t help. their compromise was that tomo could wait until he was in his teens and this deal was mostly held up because tomo thought it was wrong to break a promise with a dead guy.

to be clear though, he’d probably have issues with his dad too if he were still alive (and he’s not exactly super fond of him as it is; he doesn’t hate him but he doesn’t like being asked about being his son). he was kind of a shit husband and, if it weren’t for the fact he didn’t see tomo as often as he’d like, he’d probably be a pretty distant father as well. his work was pretty much his main priority and he had a lot of personal issues that he took out on other people.

tomo grew up in LA for the most part but also spent a lot of time in japan, mostly jumping between osaka, where his mother’s family lived, and tokyo, where his mother’s friends and connections & his father’s extended family lived. the family stopped travelling quite as much after his father’s death and tomo’s reaching high school age. he grew up bilingual.

CAREER

he started acting professional when he was 16, mostly with a few smaller tv roles but he had good connections and was able to get a small but still substantial role in the film directed by a friend of his dad. his big break came at age 18 when he landed a leaded a role in the main cast of high school drama. it was exciting at first, being on tv and being famous, but he hated both the show and his character so the whole thing got tired fast. he wasn’t allowed to quick so he went out of his way to get himself fired. there’s a whole story behind that but i’ll leave that for the bio hehehe! (he wanted his character to get killed off bc he thought it’d be fun to act out but they wouldn’t let him do that ): boooo)

one of his biggest issues with the tv show was that he didn’t like being sold as a product / character that wasn’t anything like him. he hated being shown off as this squeaky clean teen heartthrob type and not being allowed to have his own emotions & tastes. he found it mentally exhausting and, since then, he’s had a lot of issues dealing with the contrast between how he is as a person and how he’s seen by the media. he tries not to admit it but he’s terrified of being swallowed up by what other people think of of him and losing track of himself in the process. it’s made him a little paranoid.

since then, he’s avoided tv as much as possible. he prefers working on films in general but he finds the idea of playing the same character for too long incredibly unappealing. he enjoys taking on new roles and absorbing himself in that character & sometimes to the point of bordering on obsession so playing the same role not only plays into his fears of people seeing him as someone he’s not (i.e; whatever character it is) but he’s also scared of seeing HIMSELF the wrong way. he needs the separation.

tomo likes working on indie films or more artistic/niche studio films most of all. the promotion cycle isn’t as intensive and the characters tend to appeal to him more. he has appeared in a few blockbuster-type films but mostly because his bosses have pushed him into it or he’s had to taken on a multiple film contract with a studio in order to land a role he really wanted. (he once got int trouble for calling his own character in a blockbuster a ‘dumb bitch’ on twitter)

the bratpack article had a pretty heavy impact on him. it kinda just spoke to all of his worst fears of not really being a Real Person or being Sold A Certain Way. he wanted to get away from it without having to actually stop working because it’s the one thing that really keeps him stable. his eventual means of escape was a role in a japanese film. he’s been living in japan since then, having moved there to specifically hunt out a film to work on, to get used to the japanese industry/prepare himself and then get to filming. he’s come to milan straight from tokyo, not having seen any of the other brats in person during that time, but he’s had time to relax. sort of. 

PERSONALITY

for the most part, tomo’s a friendly and energetic guy! (living up to his name a lil bit here bc tomo can mean ‘friend’ in japanese hehehe) when he’s at his best, he’s great company. he likes to stand out in a crowd, has a winning smile and enjoys a little bit of attention but also knows when to step back and look out for other people. he likes to play as hard as he works. the trouble is that, when things aren’t going well and he’s distressed, he tends to collapse in on himself. behaviour that seemed playful before looks straight up stupid and reckless instead. he’ll avoid attention but get frustrated because he craves it and do more reckless shit for attention. yet he’s pretty good at pretending shit’s fine, he’s still weirdly positive for a guy who feels all messed up — maybe he gets away with it because he’s a good actor. tomo has good days and bad days but there’s little warning as to which is which. it wasn’t always this way; it’s like something has broken his spirit. (i copied this from my app but asdghgsdf)

that’s why his archetype is The Contradiction,,,bc he doesn’t make any fuckin sense, woooeee! he’s this very bouncy, upbeat person and he likes having fun but he’s not really a very positive person in terms of outlook. he’s too high energy! his general vibe is everything’s going to shit but i’m going to have a good time anyway :D

actually, on that note...he IS :D

he doesn’t like crying in front of people which is rough bc he’s v emotional all the time. he’s a total crybaby when he’s drunk. if you drink with him, there WILL be a point at which you have to scoop him up off the floor because he’s found something over which to start weeping. OR he’ll end up calling you to panic about how he can’t find his way home, only for him to realise like 5 minutes later he’s phoning you from the steps outside his apartment building.

the kind of guy who can have a full-on breakdown in his room by himself and then just reappear & ask u if u wanna go for ice cream or smth bc he’s bored. like ok that’s done with, that already happened. it’s over.

anyw he’s always willing to give ppl advice if they’re feeling stuck. it’s not always great advice bc he’s basically shit at dealing with stuff himself. he’s not one of these ppl who gives great advice but can’t follow it himself, he’s more...he gives advice bc he’d feel bad if he didn’t TRY so the advice itself definitely varies in quality. he means well though.

don’t watch funny films with him because he will do one of either things; 1) not find it funny and sit through the whole thing like : | or 2) he’ll find it so funny that he’ll end up on the floor at some point. there’s no in between. it’s all or nothing with this fucker.

he really likes cute shit. he’s rich so there’s nothing stopping him from buying those overpriced limited edition hello kitty goods.

let’s not talk about how he enjoys acting bc it’s an escape where he can be Somebody Else but he can’t cope with himself being promoted as something that doesn’t feel like Tomo. that’s its own mess. i’m p sure he’d just unravel if anybody said anything about it.

OTHER STUFF

his hair is currently bright red. it’s a recent change but he was like ‘uhhhh if i’m going on this trip, i’m making a visual statement’ and that was that. he likes to go for more interesting colours when he’s not filming anything because it’s the only time he really gets to. i mean, he still has dyed hair in a lot of his films but it’ll usually be brown or blonde or something else more ‘realistic’.

tomo cares a LOT about the way he dresses and styles himself. he’ll probably complain if he has to do a promo/magazine shoot and he doesn’t like the outfit he’s been given. it doesn’t actually help him half the time and he just gets told to shut up but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it !!!!!!!!

he posts on his finsta probably way too often but that’s because his public social media is pretty filtered, given that he’s caused fusses on social media before. there have been multiple cases of him having to delete tweets and instagram posts because somebody in charge decided he was pushing the limit just a little too much and, granted, most of it wouldn’t be seen as risky (bc it’s mostly utterly pointless stuff that gets flagged up as risky, e.g; ‘i need to pee and i can’t find a bathroom. death is coming for me.’) if he hadn’t publicly complained about the tv show that made him famous several times on twitter but he did do that so, y’know, he’s seen as a liability. the unfortunate outcome of this is that his finsta story is often littered with fairly inane thoughts.

he’s not very good at watching himself in films. it depends on the film and he can do it but uhhhh let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he’s a wuss about that sort of thing) but he laughed during his own death scene. there were tears in his eyes. real tears.

he doesn’t like dating because...well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? he’s scared of being dumped! he’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s settled for sleeping around a little instead. oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret...)

he’s very much involved in the party scene, whatever country he’s in. it’s not something he talks about much (privately, i mean, bc DUH he doesn’t say it publicly) but he doesn’t exactly avoid drugs in anyway (code for...yeah, he’s done stuff). it’s all casual, he says, but he still does it. he does smoke cigarettes though and he’s a little dependent on that.

also i guess he got involved in that kinda thing deliberately because he wants to distance himself from the clean-cut, shiny heartthrob pretty boy image as much as possible. eventually, it just became a natural way of de-stressing and dealing with the constant frustration of his career. the unfortunate consequence of that is that he’s now got a bit of a Bad Boy/Wild Child image and he’s not entirely sure he likes that either. (the shift in image also means that some journalists will talk about him as though he’s ‘gone off the rails’ and, yeah, he hates that as well)

#bratsintro #ok i kept trying to review this to make sure everything's in order but iM...SICK OF READING IT SO hopefully it's fine as is ASDFGHGF #i feel like my eyeballs are gonna fall out if i look at this any longer so im just gonna hit post and tell myself to shut upASDFGHG #i think there's some stuff i forgot to put in here that WAS in the app so i might just put a link to it on my blog somewhere #except i forgot to save the final version of the app i actually sent so i CAN'T REMEMBER

[make-it-mavis]

got any nsfw headcanons for the shit goblins? :)

OooooOOOoooh sugar, what a can of worms you just opened.

I actually did make a post about the development of their physical relationship here, and how it helps them learn to communicate with each other.

But as for general HCs? Yeah I got a few lmao. Listen, sexuality has been one of my special interests for years, I love using it for character building. It’s so fun.

Beneath the cut will be lots of naughty HCs. 18+ for some explicit/graphic language. You’ve been warned.

Mavis has a huge punishment kink. Her favorite is being caught in the middle of a naughty deed and being forcibly punished for it, being scolded all the while. But scolded in a way that’s still sort of complimenting her on what a slick prankster she is. Things like, “Finally, I got my hands on you. Wait ‘til everyone hears how I finally put the arcade’s biggest problem in her place.” Just as an example. But she never submits immediately – she’s a really bratty sub that likes egging her partner on so she’ll get punished even more.

Along with that, she’s a real big masochist. Mavis loves almost anything that makes her feel a rush, and pain’s a big one. She loves Turbo’s sharp teeth and how bitey he is. She loves being choked, slapped, scratched, having her hair pulled, being tied up too tight, etc. It’s very rare that she comes out of an encounter without at least a few marks.

Turbo, for the most part, loves being in control. He loves having his ego stroked even more than his dick. Winning a struggle for dominance is a big one, so it’s good that Mavis isn’t a pillow princess and fights back. He loves being worshiped in any way – really let it show how much you love touching him. Begging and praise are huge turn-ons, and there’s nothing he loves more than reducing Mavis to the point where she’s mad with desire.

Turbo loves dominant sorta roleplay shit but not the usual "daddy" or "master" kink. He likes being treated like royalty, being called things like "your majesty/grace/highness/flattering word" or "my king/lord", and showered with so much praise, affection, and adoration that it borders on worship. Mav's role in that scenario is the unruly court jester, a snarky playful little shit that's still ultimately there to entertain the king. (Hilarious if you think of Pyrite later) 

That being said, though, very occasionally, Turbo’s been known to enjoy being dominated. People constantly in control or with a lot of power tend to like playing into the fantasy of a power shift in the bedroom. It’s a safe, rewarding way to experience losing, which is otherwise so taboo for him. That’s not to say he’s 100% submissive either, he’s less of a bratty sub and more of a straight up spiteful sub. Glares, insults, growling, nipping at fingers. He hates how much he loves it.

With that, the things he tends to “enjoy” the most are being tied up, being degraded, being leashed and commanded. He’s not as much of a masochist as Mavis but he still enjoys some biting, hair-pulling, and a bit of choking. As a sub he often takes on the role of a wild, ill-tempered animal that needs to be broken into an obedient pet. That involves a nice mix of teasing, praise, punishment, and humiliation while still encouraging him to push back and refuse to fully submit. Quite often, those scenarios end with him either being freed or breaking out of his restraints and going wild on Mavis, overpowering her and paying her back for all the rough treatment. Resistance and scolding on her end is all part of the scene, but before long, she’s always pulling hard on the leash and urging him on, praising him for being such a good demon boy. He earned his reward.  

I’d like to think that they own a strap on (it’s Mavis’ dildo), but straight-up pegging is not something Turbo’s down with. That level of submission is just a smidge too far for him. Which is fine. But Mavis still likes to make him suck her strap-on dick, especially if he’s tied up and she can knot a fist in his hair and force his head down onto it or fuck his mouth. Turbo’s straight, but he’s pretty secure in that fact (and homophobia kind of isn’t a thing in my arcade ‘verse). He’s sucking a dick, but it’s a girl’s dick, so he’s still into it. (Transphobia isn’t a thing either. Gender’s super vague and unimportant.)

I’ve been asked enough times to remark upon it what Turbo’s dick is like. I hadn’t thought of it too much bc for me, dicks aren’t all that exciting appearance-wise lmao. But it’s inevitable if I’m going to talk nsfw about him. So my answer is…. length-wise, it’s pretty average, but it’s a little bit on the thicker side. I believed I described it as, it’s just nice enough that you might see it and be like, “Goddamn it, such a fuckin’ douche canoe doesn’t deserve a dick that nice.” It’s not all that vascular, it’s grey, and it gets darker towards the head. (I know I’m gonna have to draw it eventually. I draw nice dicks so be ready)

This isn’t relevant to the shitgoblins really but I think that the Twins have similar dicks to Turbo’s since they’re all brothers, but theirs are on the longer side rather than the thicker side. Mavis has seen them, and she just laughed, to the Twins’ displeasure.

No one’s asked me what Mav’s vulva looks like (and thank god actually thats a weird question but at the same time why not???? vulvas are nice) but I guess all I can say about it is… it’s cute? To match her “cute Disney-faced young woman” aesthetic. I have to imagine that if Disney studios ever did porn animations they would draw really idealized labia. ALL VULVAS WOULD LOOK THE SAME. That’s a concept I’ve tried to battle with my own nsfw art where I can, but for Mav I can only picture her with simplified cutesy bits. Soft, supple, pink, blushy, etc. Does not at all mirror how she likes said bits to be treated lmao. But I will gift her with a nice, decent sized clit because you can’t stop me

SHE TASTES tangy and sweet like cherry pie filling

Here’s a fun one. I mentioned that Mav is a masochist. I think she takes that to an extreme in her game. For someone not programmed with in-game death or defeat, dying’s probably almost as painful as DYING dying before respawn. And respawn’s gotta be a dizzying rush of relief from that pain. So… I think she occasionally get off on respawning LOL. She only does this alone, though, as she asked for Turbo’s help with it once and he did not end up having a good time. As it turns out, he’s not into killing his partner in bed, lmao.

Mavis’ brush and paint can are loaded with some of her most dense code, so much that she can feel touch through them, and they’re, shall we say, erogenous zones. Turbo knows this and likes to swipe her brush in public and fiddle around with it just to tease her. She also frequently uses the handle of it to fuck herself. 

The shitgoblins are REALLY into PDA. Turbo likes to show off the action he’s getting and Mav just loves the taboo of it. They make out in open public spots all the time, will casually get a little handsy while talking to people, and will straight-up fuck where they can. Tapper’s supply closet is a fave, as well as Niceland’s penthouse, as well as a dark corner of the Qix nightclub. Hidden rooms and alleys in other games work, too. But the best of all is Gene’s closet, with his expensive cashmere cardigans used as cum rags.

Mav is really good at deepthroating. It’s nothing to her.

Turbo has been known to come pretty fast, but he has the peculiar ability to be ready to go again in record time. He’s like the Energizer bunny. He just keeps fuckin’ going.

That’s all well and good, because once they’re fully used to fucking, Mavis develops a taste for overstimulation and likes being fucked past her limit. That’s where communication and a safe word comes in handy.

Since he’s a Speed Demon, Turbo has unusually high body heat. This means… yes, this means his jizz is really hot. Excuse me.

Turbo rarely admits it but he’s obsessed with Mavis’ ass. He loves grabbin onto it while they fuck, and loves casually feeling her up (with her consent of course). A particularly nice view of Dat Ass can throw him completely off what he was doing. Same goes for her legs.

Mavis has a thing for Turbo’s hands. She otherwise never wants hands to touch her so they’re a real special thing to her. He often doesn’t even have to touch her anywhere particularly erotic to get her going – just the fact that she’s being touched is exciting enough. That being said, she loves being fingered, and she loves having his fingers in and around her mouth, to satisfy her oral fixation.

Mavis is of the “try everything once” attitude. Turbo’s a bit more of a princess than her, but probably more adventurous than the average person.

As much as Turbo likes to finish inside her, he’s also got quite a taste for spilling all over her, as a sort of possessive way to mark/claim her. She’s all his, after all.

They looooooove fucking while high.

I think thats enough for now lmao congrats on consuming so much dirt!!

#asks #headcanons #dirty stuff #i love the nasty shitgoblins #i just love them and i want them to have a nice sex life

[halzxk]

The Fabric Between Us

I wanted to start getting back into writing so here is my triumphant (hopefully) return. Its a Stucky story, big surprise there lmao. Enjoy my lovelies <3

Warnings: Swearing, Combat, Mentions of Death, Fluffy Stuff

-

“Get down!” Steve yells over the deafening sound of German artillery going overhead and landing around them. He watches as the Howlies and other troops run to cover. As a young soldier was trying to run to safety, a shell landed near him, throwing him a couple feet over. Steve watches as the young kid’s lifeless body laid there. 

Death never really affected Steve in a big way. Of course he got upset when he saw his men die, the men he is to be in charge of, but this death hit him hard. The kid who laid there, dead and covered in his own blood, looked like him when he joined up. Scrawny, blonde kid, where his uniform hung abnormally off his small frame.  

The shelling quickly came to an end and the men around him began retreating from their safe coverings. A medic ran up to the kid on the ground and began to drag his body off to the side. 

“You good, Cap?” A familiar voice comes from behind him. He quickly turns around with a stony look on his face, masking any emotion he was feeling. As he turns he is met with his best friend’s dirtied face, wearing the signature smirk.

“All good, Buck” throwing his hand on his shoulder with a tight squeeze to let him know he really was okay.

“Alright boys! We gotta stay focused..” Steve quickly falls back into his roll. Commanding large groups of men was never somewhere Steve saw himself. He really faked it until he made it, now he can command a large group of men as if he was born to do it. Many would say it is what he was born to do, but Steve wasn’t so sure.

“Gather ‘round, men, we’ve got orders” Steve quickly announces. The Howlies fill in right beside him while the other soldiers circle up around them, trying to catch what ever is being said.

“We have a hydra base that is 16 miles north from here. We need to hit it and hit it hard.” He looks around at all his men while pointing at the map and guiding where they are to go. “Supposedly there are weapons that are extremely dangerous in that compound and we need to get them and destroy them” Steve quickly finishes up with how they’re going to go about infiltrating the building.

Bucky is with Steve, as he always is and they’re making the main assault. Steve took Bucky where ever he could with him. Everyone thought it was so he could protect Bucky, but Steve really felt safer when Bucky was with him. Let that be for his own safety or for Bucky’s, either way he preferred it that way.

“10 minutes till we’re on the move. Grab extra ammo, water, whatever you can” Steve gave the final command and then turned to Bucky.

“Yes, sir” Bucky mocked Steve, wearing a shit eating grin on his face. Bucky’s face was speckled with dark earth from all the shellings around them. His blue eyes broke through the dark contrast.

“Oh fuck off” Steve jokes and shoves Bucky. “Thanks for always having my back”

“Of course, till the end of the line” Bucky bumps his fist against Steve’s.

-

“Alright, we do this as quickly as we can. Bucky, you’re with me” Steve quickly goes over the operation and positions of the men. “Be careful, boys. Fall out”

Steve and Bucky quickly head to they front doors and wait for the men assigned to toss smoke grenades through the windows, to give them their mark. As soon as the men toss the grenades through the window, Cap kicks open the door, he heads in with Bucky in tow.

Bullets whiz by their head as they take cover. Steve rushes men with his shield and makes sure he takes them down for good. At first, Steve didn’t like killing, but he quickly realized it was either them or him. The rest of the men assigned to help infiltrate the building quickly file in, shooting the Hydra agents in front of them. 

Steve approaches a lab door, pushing it open. As soon as he has the door open a bullet goes right through the meat of his shoulder. “Ah, Shit!” Rushing the man, Steve makes sure there is no one else in the lab area. 

“Steve!” Bucky shouts, worried about Steve being shot. He quickly rushes over to Steve to tend to his wound. Everything has settled down as the men have finished taking out the Hydra agents in the facility. 

“I’m fine, Buck. Nothing that time can’t fix” Steve chuckles to Bucky’s displeasure. Bucky is ultimately worried about Steve. To him, Steve is still the scrawny kid back in Brooklyn. He seriously has no idea why Steve is here risking his life, when Steve could’ve been back home waiting for him. Bucky just wants Steve to be safe. He couldn’t fair if he lost Steve.

“Thanks, pal” Steve smiles as Bucky finishes applying the dressing.

-

The crackling of the fire is comforting to Steve. The Howlies all sit around the campfire, trading stories of the day. Bucky is still hounding Steve because of his wound today. Steve can take a lot and be totally fine, but it doesn't mean that he doesn’t feel the effect of what has happened to him. 

“How’s the shoulder doing, Cap?” Dum-Dum asks the tall blonde. 

“It’s alright, sore, but its about what you’d expect if you got one in the shoulder” Steve chuckles, leaning back against the tree he is sat up against as the exhaustion sets in.

“How long till it’s healed up, do you think, Cap?” Gabe asks as he reaches over for the bottle of whisky. 

“Ehh.. it should be pretty well off tomorrow morning, really” Steve responds sleepily, his eyes shut. Steve can feel sleep wanting to take over his body.

“Alright boys, I’m going to head off to bed, try to rest this damn shoulder” Cap grunts in pain as he stands up from his previous position. “You guys should get some rest too. We’ve got a big day tomorrow, I believe”

Steve heads to the tent that he is sharing with Bucky. Bucky is already passed out in his cot on the right side of the tent. He heads over to his cot to get himself ready to sleep. He slides off his shirt, wanting to evaluate how bad off his bullet hole is. He walks over to the small mirror that is hanging off a nail in one of the wood frames. 

Peeling back his gauze, he sees that his wound is almost completely healed. The bullet hole is substantially smaller than what it was earlier. Steve is so thankful that the serum took away all his ailments that he had prior, but it also made his healing factor so much faster and it is one of the best things to come out of his transformation. 

He hears footsteps approach behind him, quickly turning around, he sees a groggy Bucky walking up to him with a smirk on his face.

“Wow, I constantly forget how much the serum changed you” Bucky teases as he traces some of the muscle lines on Steve’s back, causing goosebumps to ripple up his body.

“Yea, I don’t look like a 12 year old anymore. Maybe the dames will finally look at me, huh?” Steve joked, earning a soft chuckle from Bucky. 

“You didn’t need the serum to do that, pal. You already had all eyes on you” 

“Yea, but those eyes on me were all in disgust at how fuckin’ scrawny I was”

“Nah, those bright blue eyes had people chatting up and down about how pretty they are. Glad to see you didn’t lose those, huh” Bucky prods carefully at the mostly sealed up wound. Steve hisses when he hit an especially tender spot. 

“Shit, shit sorry, pal” Bucky retracts his hand as if he had gotten burned. 

“It’s alright” Steve turns to face his best friend. Bucky has his underwear on and his loose t-shirt that goes under his uniform. “Wanna help me clean it?” Steve holds out the gauze pad with alcohol on it.

“Sure” Bucky grabs the items and begins to work on getting the dried blood off of Steve’s skin. As he gets closer to the actual wound, he makes lighter strokes, making sure to not hurt his best friend.

“You can go harder if you need to. I only reacted last time because I wasn’t expecting it. I’m fine, Buck” Steve reassures Bucky. The dark haired man started pushing a bit harder, really trying to get the dried blood off of Steve’s pale skin.

Once Bucky was done, he tossed the bloodied gauze into the trash can, next to where they were standing. “There you go, all clean. I’m always cleaning your wounds up, huh, Stevie?” Bucky chuckles, bumping his shoulder to Steve’s

“Yea, I guess so. The difference now is that I can actually handle myself in a fight, but generally a bullet wins a fight” Steve laughs, earning a laugh from Bucky. 

They both head off to their respective sides of the tent and crawl into bed. “Good night, Buck” 

“Good night, Stevie” 

#stucky #Steve rogers #Bucky barnes #marvel

[hzcleski]

hello friends! you probs know who i am already but if not hello! i’m sam aaand this is my newish muse! i played hal here for a minute one time but i’ve decided to give him a huuuuge revamp so character info is under the cut! lmk if you wanna plot! messaging me @ellvie​ is probably easiest!

╰☆╮ DYLAN O'BRIEN ─ HAL ZALESKI identifies as CIS MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a FORMER OLYMPIAN/NHL PLAYER, and they’re only TWENTY THREE ! they’re said to be CAPABLE, but also TURBULENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE LEGACY in the tabloids.

quick disclaimer that this is a sideblog so i might post to the wrong account sometimes

other disclaimer a lot of my hockey information is from google ok

nathan harold zaleski jr was practically born with a pair of skates on, which makes sense considering his family is hockey royalty. his father is nathan harold zaleski sr, aka a legend and one of the biggest names in sports to this very day. olympic gold medalist several times over, beloved longtime defenseman for the toronto maple leafs, at the very peak of his career and married to a beautiful wealthy socialite when his only child was born.

listen...this is an au where the maple leafs are good or like, had one genuinely good star player in nathan sr. okay thanks for coming to my ted talk!

he’s got dual citizenship because he was born in canada even though he hasn’t lived there since he was ten, but his parents were us citizens, which doesn’t seem important but WAIT FOR IT

nathan jr, who would begin going by the nickname of hal early on in life, probably learned how to skate before he even learned how to walk because of course he did. his father’s intention was always to have another him. i mean for fuck’s sake they have the exact same name. hal’s purpose in life has never been in question, not by him or anyone who’s ever seen him play.

his natural talent for hockey became apparent from a very young age, which didn’t surprise anyone ofc. his father saw it as a sign and began pushing him even harder, hiring the very best trainers and coaches to help perfect his game while nathan sr focused on his own career.

except that he was running out of steam and fast. nothing happened like there was no huge scandal or career ending injury. nathan sr was just...getting old. fans were simply losing interest in him as newer and younger players joined the league and there was nothing he could really do about it except make sure his legacy lived on.

hal was ten years old when everything seemed to finally fall apart. his dad was hanging on to the very last threads of his career, let go from the maple leafs and almost certainly picked up by the new york rangers purely out of pity. meanwhile, hal’s parents finally divorced which he took almost alarmingly well for a ten year old, but it’s not like his parents were ever a shining example of a deep, loving marriage. they spent years settling the divorce, fighting back and forth while suing the shit out of each other across whole fuckin countries. lowkey they almost wound up being more famous for the legal drama than they were for hockey.

hal’s dad finally retired when he was twelve, won sole custody of him when he was fourteen, and pulled enough strings to get him a spot on the canadian hockey team dual citizenship! going to the 2010 vancouver winter olympics when he was just a teenager, making him one of the youngest players to ever compete in the games.

and canada won gold that year so hal was making history again in no time, being one of the youngest players to ever become a gold medalist in the winter olympics. now he didn’t actually see a lot of playing time that year. his skill was undeniable, but no one seemed to think that he was ready for the big time rush. tbh they probably weren’t wrong, but nevertheless his name and his win made an impression on everyone.

up until that point hal was homeschooled bc ofc education came second to hockey, but he always wanted to attend an actual school and he did! after his first olympics his dad finally sent him to the same private school in the city as all the other rich kids and it was...weird! he started in the middle of the year and was instantly an outsider among his classmates. everyone else had known each other all their lives so hal immediately at a disadvantage. it didn’t help that he’d never really...had a single friend before. tbh his peers were probably intimidated by him. he was just a high schooler and already an olympic gold medalist like...ofc no one wanted to be the person to go approach him and say hi.

played for canada again dual citizenship! at the 2014 winter olympics in sochi when he was eighteen and this time HE WAS THE STAR. absolutely at the top of his game. anyone who still thought that he was a joke before the games started shut up real quick when he won his second gold medal.

he got home and was eventually drafted into the nhl, so he sorta ditched school oops. technically he finished but like...barely since he went back to being tutored for the last few months.

several teams wanted him and tried to throw a shit ton of money at him, but hal settled on the new york rangers with a huge multi million dollar deal

he quickly stole hearts on and off the ice. whether fans admired his skill or followed him during the olympics or remembered his father, for one reason or another he was winning people over left and right. unsurprisingly he’d go on to win the 2014-2015 rookie of the year award, presented to him by the president of the nhl and everything.

he did not attend the 2018 winter olympics in pyeongchang as the nhl famously refused to release their players. hal himself was a major part of the uproar. the whole country of canada dual citizenship! practically threw a fucking fit bc the nhl was disqualifying their star player from winning them their third gold medal in a row and hey big surprise...canada didn’t win gold in 2018 :)

hal’s in the middle of his fifth i think? year of pro hockey rn and so far his career has been solid. his dad is really pushing him to sign with a “better team” and he has gotten offers, but he isn’t really interested. he likes playing for new york & he likes living in new york. maybe someday....maybeeee....but for right now he’s happy with where he is.

okay now for some fast facts!

literally always looks like he just got into a fight, probably bc he just did during his last game. is usually sporting some injury like a black eye or split lip or cut cheek. fortunately hasn’t completely given in to the hockey player stereotype by getting all of his fuckin teeth knocked out...yet

notice that i hardly mentioned his mom? that about sums up their relationship tbh. hal was practically raised by nannies and trainers. his mom always had some brunch or gala or public appearance she was far more invested in. literally she didn’t even really...want custody of him when she divorced his dad, but she claimed to just to be petty and give nathan sr an even more difficult time. yeah they kinda hate each other now and since hal has always been closer to his dad, his mom isn’t even really that interested in seeing him lmao. she’ll call like once a month and invites him to brunch if she happens to be in the city, but ngl hal probably hasn’t seen her in like...a couple years at the least. he’s not really broken up about it either.

right so...walking talking endless pit of daddy issues? you bet! just because hal prefers his dad doesn’t mean that they get along or that his dad is a good person. he still has his perfect public image and he isn’t complete garbage but...yeah their relationship is extremely toxic. he’s always been very harsh with hal, pushing him and pushing him to be the best bc nothing he accomplishes is ever good enough.

so what if he's won two olympic gold medals? so what if he was rookie of the year? so what if he’s considered one of the best and most beloved players in the nhl? he can do more, he can be even better. his dad is a constant voice in his head even though he’s always around anyway. he never misses a game or an opportunity to point out hal’s every flaw.

ofc as a result hal’s always been very hard on himself. every single day of his entire life has been spent basing his self worth off what his father thinks of him. it was awful for his self esteem bc no fucking duh.

HOWEVER. it isn’t public knowledge at this time, but as of right now? hal’s relationship with his father is falling apart faster and faster by the moment. they’re a ticking time bomb & it’s literally only a matter of time before they explode yikes!

fortunately hal could sorta sense the direction things were heading and did something about it. he finally moved out when the hockey season started back in october and he’s been feeling better ever since. like he has more control over his life even though his dad is still WAY too involved.

personality: a douchebag who means no harm, mostly because he's never really trying to be a jerk. tends to come across as a typical meathead jock for good reason bc that’s exactly who he is. in conversation he's usually very blunt and a little awkward bc he’s still learning how to socialize with others. hockey is basically his whole life so it’s all he knows how to talk about, which can either be endearing or annoying. a genius hockey player, but a ditz in every other area. very short - tempered and impulsive. always means well and wants the best for those he cares about, but might go about expressing those feelings in a weird way bc he was never taught how to properly deal with his emotions.

CONNECTIONS

family

step sibling he grew up with - sabrina miller

paternal cousins - warren daily and wren daily

cousin by marriage - rosalind cox

maternal cousin - open. his mom is polish for reference!

romantic

girlfriend - genesis iver

ex fiancée - ginny baker

ex on good terms - margo massey

ex who cheated on him - isla thompson

former fwb - amethyst armenta, open to more.

former toxic on / off relationship - reese monroe

exes, open to more.

hal has a ton of other exes and i don’t feel like listing them tbh all so i’m just gonna assume that y’all know who you are ok

platonic

best friend 5ever - marialena goldstein

confidant - open.

family friends - sullivan ramsey, open to more.

childhood friends - open to more.

close friends - open to more.

friends - mia kauri, chance kauri, theo cannon, angel almeida, open to more.

bickering friends - open to more.

workout buddy - open.

negative

on bad terms - kennedy drakos, jay weston, open to more.

these are just a few plot ideas! i’m most definitely open to other stuff so if you have any ideas please free to share! i think that’s enough from me soooo yeah! mssg me if you wanna plot & as always i’m super excited to write with everyone!

#excessintro #toxic people tw #i'm not sure if that's tag buuuut yeah! #hope you enjoy feel free to message for plots!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #478

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up”

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No. Do you have things on your mind right now? My weight is very, very much on my mind. I dared to weigh myself yesterday and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. So that's comforting. Are you at all stressed right now? ^^^^^^^ hunny I wanna pull all my hair out What was the last stuffed animal you bought? I don't know. What’s the last new good song that you discovered? "The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie. I've been really into him lately. Felicity, Fiona, or Flavia? (with the “v” pronounced like a “w”–it’s Latin) "Felicity" is beautiful. I love the word in general. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? I love the name Naomi. Do you own a cowboy hat? No. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? No; she unfriended me. Has someone let you down recently? My goddamn self. What are you looking forward to? Mom to get better so we can force ourselves back into the gym. Also Girt's mom to get better so we can see each other. For the weather to actually feel fall-ish. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance." Skeletons or scarecrows? Skelly boiz What type of tree is the most common where you live? Oh, absolutely pine trees. Where did your last kiss take place? My living room. Name of your pet? Venus and Roman. How was your summer? Shitty. I hate summer. Do you miss anyone right now? I really miss Girt. Covid's gotta go. What size is your shirt? *feral hissing noises* Who was the last person you held hands with? Girt. Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side? Left, because I sleep mostly to the left. Do you like to be closer or farther back to the wheel when driving? Neither, I think? I haven't driven in so long that I'm not sure, but I'm quite sure I position myself pretty ideally. When eating dinner, do you eat foods in order or just inhale it? It's usually kind of in order, but occasionally I'll mix it up. When you lose your phone, where is the first general place you look? My bed. Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed? Usually closed. I tend to breathe through my nose unless I'm stuffy. What was the last bug you killed? An ant. Do you keep items in your front or back pants’ pocket? Front. What was the last item or location you cleaned? My glasses. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I REALLY want a number of tarantulas. :( The more time that passes, the more I want some, ha ha. I'd also love a jumping spider or two, but Mom won't allow even that. Have you ever gone on a cruise? No. Is there a rocking chair in your house? No. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you like elevators or escalators? I'm scared of both. I'm afraid of getting stuck in an elevator, or falling down an escalator/tripping on one. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, yum. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? Uhhhh maybe Spider-Man, if I could web-sling too? lol Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? ... Can/do people get genitalia tattoos? Because I would fuckin never- Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? Hell no. I would puke. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? Absolutely not. Never. What is the first song that comes to mind when I say: Michael Jackson? "Billie Jean." Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons are just dinos that can fly and breathe fire, so... you tell me which is more dangerous. I'd still try to befriend one tho lmao. Can you say “hello” in another language? Yeah; German is easy. It's just "hallo." Do you like licorice? NO omg Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? Mom did. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? I really like his roles in Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Were you ever force-fed as a child? My parents tried to enforce always finishing our plates. My mom is very against that now, considering the issues it can cause. Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? No????? That's some black market bullshit for a reason. What is one of your most important rules when going on a date? Especially if it's your first date with a person, watch for red flags. Will children today have better or worse lives than their parents, and why? Well, it'll probably go in both ways depending on the topic. The environment is dying, the economy is horrific, but I'm sure there will be things like medical advancements. What's the most ironic thing you've seen happen? I dunno. Would you rather go ice skating or roller skating? Roller skating. The blades on ice skates scare me. How many different types of guns have you shot? (water, Nerf, real, etc) Uhhh just water and Nerf, I think? Which of the three meals a day are you most likely to skip? It's very unlikely you'll see me miss a meal... I don't handle the feeling of hunger well. What's something lots of people are afraid of, but you aren't? Snakes, some spiders, I don't THINK I'm scared of deep water, the dark... Do you know anyone who is tolerant of some on the LGBT spectrum but not all? Yes. Do open casket wakes freak you out? I've only been to one, as a child, when I didn't have a full grasp on death, so it was... oddly more fascinating to me, as weird as that sounds? I think going to one now, especially if it was someone close to me, it would make the wake more upsetting. When's the last time you slept in your parents' bed? No clue. What's something that will always be in fashion? Skinny jeans, checkered Vans... What "old person things" do you do? I regularly say "back in the day," lol. And I can go to sleep very early, like 7, but that's uncommon. I complain about soreness in my back and stuff. Do you live in the same hometown as where you were born? No. Did you dorm at college or commute from home? I commuted from home. Do you prefer the thin blue and white masks, or decorative ones? Well, who wouldn't prefer decorative ones? They're more personal to your interests and stuff and I feel is more encouraging to make people wear them. I however don't want to spend money on a mask, so I'm chill with just the blue surgical ones. Have you ever witnessed someone have a seizure before? My dog, yes. Have you ever rode on the back of a shopping cart, or a Home Depot dolly? Yeah, as a kid. Does everything you buy have to be organic? No. I don't buy the groceries, but I also don't care much about that. Do you support more small businesses or chain restaurants/stores? Habitually, chain ones. I wish I paid more attention to small businesses. Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? No. How old were you when you first started wearing a bra? Am I supposed to remember that? Are you more invested in computer games or video games? I don't care what the game is on; I can be equally invested in either. I prefer to play console games, though. Are you a fan of pumpkin spice everything? Noooo. I'm not a massive fan of it, actually. Is there any holiday that you don't decorate your house for? We only really decorate for occasionally Halloween and always Christmas. Mom may put up some Thanksgiving stuff. Tell me something your parents don't know about. They don't know certain places I've done sexual things at/on. What's the last table food you fed your pet? Roman doesn't get human food. He learned at a young age that's a no-no. Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Ew, no. Even if it's incredibly vast, people still swim in that. Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? I doubt it. Have you ever participated in LARPing? No. Have you ever gotten a divorce? Never been married. Do you prefer "regular kissing" or French kissing? I mean that depends on the place and the mood. Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? I haven't done that in many years, and when it happened, I don't think one of us did it more than the other. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I HATE sprinkles. Have you been in more car accidents as a passenger or a driver? I've only ever been in an accident as a passenger. Have you ever been wrongfully convicted of a crime? No. Was any of the cafeteria food at your school actually any good? I actually didn't mind a good number of things. Have you ever wanted to become a lifeguard? No. What's the highest fever you've ever had? I'm unsure, but over 100. Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? Well, dogs have kissed ME on the mouth. al;sdkfjalksdjkf so gross When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? Uh, I don't believe so. I feel like I would know that if I was. Would you enter a burning building to save a kitten? I feel like I would, I think. My intense love of animals would probably force me to kick into action. Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? Haaaa, I have a bias for "Mark," of course... but if we're talking which name I find most appealing, it's probably John. Or Luke. Have you ever been told that you talk too much? As a child, yes. Do you like to clean? Does ANYBODY enjoy it? Do you know of anyone who went into labor at the baby shower? Uh yikes. No. When's the last time you did a hand game with someone? (ie: Mary Mack) Probably not since I was little. Do you know anyone who was not born in a hospital, unexpectedly? No. Does anyone you know have dual citizenship to live in multiple countries? Possibly? Do you still have a landline phone/phone number? No. Name a fad that was popular when you were growing up, that you miss. Oh, I KNOW there's some things, but I don't recall right now. Have you ever gotten to milk a cow or a goat? No. I'm not sure I'd want to.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''bottom is a rock'' by mother mother

[timeisacephalopod]

1, 4, 5, 8, 9

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry these questions turned into essays D:

1. What was the first Marvel film you’ve ever watched?

The Avengers, and I didn’t like it lmao. I was like… seventeen maybe? A friend had worked really hard to get me to watch it and I found it boring. A big problem was Steve- I just found him boring and I had no context for Tony or the rest of the Avengers so I was like ok, superhero people do shit. Boring. When I got into it later (starting with the First Avenger) the film made more sense to me and felt less bleh minus Steve, but that’s because Whedon can’t fucking write him for shit not because of the character.

4. Who’s your favourite Marvel superhero and why?

Boi if you don’t know Tony Stark is my fav then I don’t know what to tell ya lol. But I’m assuming you asked for the why not the who. So as a general thing I don’t like heroes. They’re all ‘we do the right thing always because we’re The Most Morally Correct Always’. Its not relatable- I’m straight up not that good of a person, no one is in my opinion, and their stories all follow the same boring arcs (Steve Rogers fits this personality type and arc very well post skinny!Steve until the latest MCU movies. But Superman is another very good example, and to a lesser extent Harry Potter too).

Point is these characters don’t interest me because A- I can’t relate to being The Best Ever, B- they’re fucking boring and invite zero conflict or character development if they’re already perfect, and C- their villains tend to have way more interesting backstories, motivations, and character arcs. Also villains tend to be coded as minorities (ie, Ursula from The Little Mermaid being based of a drag queen) so between the more interesting arcs, personalities, conflicts, and minority coded status I’ve always preferred the villain. I can relate to Magneto, who has a terrible goal but for a heartbreaking and even understandable reason. I understand him in a way I can never understand a Superman type. He’s an anti-hero I know, but villains are always more interesting because their motivation isn’t always Its The Right Thing with no other explanation as to why or how its right, which could be compelling but isn’t ever written. And villains never start on a basis of perfection, effectively killing any and all development of character.

And then I watched Iron Man. Not only is Tony Stark a fucking disaster and a high functioning one at that, but he’s not always a good person. Its not that he means to hurt people, but he does, and then he learns. He makes mistakes, he sometimes doesn’t see it right away, and when he does he tries not to repeat his behavior to avoid making those mistakes again. Tony is the first hero I’ve seen that’s not supposed to be an anti-hero that does this. For the first time I got to watch a hero that isn’t perfect, but he’s trying to do good even when he fails at it. Then he tries and tries again. Heroes never get those arcs because they tend to be built on perfection, but Tony is what a hero would look like in the real world- he’s tangible. 

Not only that but there’s so much about him that I find relatable beyond his general hero arc. He’s sort of an asshole because its easier to hold people at an arms length than it is to let people in, he has trust issues, daddy issues, mental health problems that people don’t necessarily see, and he hides his true nature under sarcasm and jokes. These are all traits I find in myself too, but ones I don’t typically find in heroes, not to the extent they’re written with Tony anyways. Again Tony is the first hero I’ve ever come across who has personality traits that don’t always translate to ‘perfect person all the time no matter what’. He’s a regular man with a real world personality trying his best even if he does have exaggerated traits (like his intelligence, especially, which is where most of his heroism extends from). And underneath all that he’s compassionate, caring, and generous not that he allows people to see that often.

TL;DR: Tony Stark is the first hero I saw with an actual personality you’d find in the real world and he isn’t always perfect, which i found relatable and compelling.

5. Who’s your least favourite Marvel superhero and why?

This is actually a pretty hard question. There are plenty of MCU characters I care about very little, and some I like a lot but hate the way they’re handled, and some that are just fucking irrelevant so I’ll list 3 for 3 different reasons.

1- Clint Barton. I read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye (and some of his other work- check him out!) and loved Hawkeye. Then I watched shit ass MCU Hawkeye and he’s a fucking OC with Clint’s name. He’s an asshole, his motivations make no sense, I don’t like Jermey Renner as a person or an actor, and I fucking hated that family in Age of Ultron because it makes no sense and doesn’t fit into the rest of the universe. So I like Clint, but not fuckin MCU Clint because nothing about him makes sense.

2- Wanda. I love what she could be and her powers are so compelling and unlike most Tony fans I sympathize with her wanting him dead (but don’t understand why she chose him over the people who dropped the bomb, the terrorists in her country, or at least doesn’t hold blame in other wider structures that influenced her parent’s death like military personal, the POTUS, etc). Anyways- I like what Wanda could be, but not what she is. She whines and cries about being treated like a child while simutaniously throwing a temper tantrum, apparently doesn’t put as much or potentially even more blame on Viz for being complicit in Tony’s (shitty- no excuse for this) choice to keep her on the compound all because romance angle? And while I sympathize with her not wanting to hurt Viz in IW, that’s a horrible position to be in, I don’t understand why she didn’t at least try and feel out a solution to save him while also destroying the stone until they made Shuri do it. One person you care about versus half the universe? That’s fucking harsh, I’d never want to be there, but I’m certain I could never be that selfish. So I lose someone I care about, half the universe doesn’t get to feel the same way. That’s a win.

There’s a lot about her I do like though, and I’ll explore that again out of the context of World War Me, but as she stands her motivations and character actions don’t make a lot of sense to me and it feels contrived just for plot points. She gets the shit end of the stick and I’m convinced its linked to misogyny- its not like characters who aren’t women get shunted like that Bruce Banner aside (one time versus Wanda’s entire character story).

3- Steve Rogers. Now don’t get me wrong, in the recent movies he’s gone through some development- in CW he didn’t even have an argument, he dropped his shield for Bucky, and then when he shows back up his speech to Ross is such a fuckin asshole thing to say/ do and its so disrespectful (and the fact that I care what he says to ROSS is saying something, but that’s due to the wider implications and the fact that Steve would 100% say that to him pending alien invasion or no, not because its an emergency that influences why I even care). Anyways- his negative development is actually interesting! He is a character based in perfection and he’s gotten this amazing storyline that’s made him selfish and sometimes also callus and cruel. That’s compelling, and his motivations! Amazing! 

There’s so much the MCU can do with a man who can’t adjust to the future, has PTSD, and doesn’t know how to handle being in a moral situation that doesn’t have a clear right answer- and it shows. To me these things are interesting, sometimes noble, and profoundly selfish in a way that actually makes a lot of sense considering the context and is a super interesting take on a character that’s usually Perfect And Right All The Time. But instead of actually exploring his motivations, actions, and negative character development the MCU AND the fans treat him as this perfect dude who can do no wrong. This is fucking stupid- the guy is on a downward spiral into who fuckin knows what and instead of exploring this loss of identity, morality, and sense of self he’s treated as the moral compass! Are you fucking kidding me! This shit is so much more compelling than just making the dude right because you’re too fucking lazy to actually write him an argument and a reason behind it. And not acknowledging his negative development and giving me an interesting story (finally) about a hero who’s always been perfect and just shoving him back into his Morally Perfect Always™ role instead of exploring him in new, compelling ways personally victimizes me. So fuck the MCU for that and fuck the idiot fans (god that’s bitter, sorry) who think he’s a true moral compass when at this point none of them are- and that’s ok. That’s interesting to explore, creates conflict, and creates story.

This just makes me want to write a character study of Steve tbh. Maybe I will. He’ll actually get to go on a journey of his negative development then, and then come back from it in a meaningful way rather than just handed the Being Right Award that the lazy writers gave him.

Another TL;DR- Clint sucks because he sucks, but Steve and Wanda could have been so much more if the writers weren’t jackasses.

8. Who’s the strongest Avenger?

Wanda lmao. No argument there, the only one who even stood a chance against her is Vision and she put him down easily too. Which is why I think she’s so interesting, but no, she gets handed stupid contrived storylines based in a romance no one cares about instead of exploring her power, origin story, motivations, and further development.

But yeah, no arguing that she’s the strongest Avenger as far as raw power goes.

9. Any underrated Avenger? Any overrated Avenger?

Underrated avenger: Rhodey my dudes. First of all he’s a decently fleshed out, interesting character. Then you have this interesting background of him knowing the military isn’t really perfect but still maintaining his interest in the military and being complicit in some of its actions, which I think is super compelling and I’d like the MCU to explore that further. Plus you’ve got his intelligence in engineering, his strategical genius, his loyalty, his compassion- he’s just a great dude. He’s sassy too, which is always a plus. But then you get these weird moments in the MCU where they go back on his characterization- like in IM3 where he basically tells Tony to get over himself after a panic attack. That’s so OOC- firstly even if he’s never seen a panic attack (doubtful, in the military) he’s a naturally compassionate guy, and especially so to Tony. So where the fuck was that? You will never convince me that there’s a solid reason for that- he spent 3 fuckin months tracking his best friend down only to tell him to get over himself while having a panic attack? And what even WAS that scene in CW when Steve came back? And that scene where he was totes cool with Thor strangling Tony?

This poor man is so underrated the MCU contributes to his being underrated by using him as a plot device instead of an actual fuckin character (quite like Wanda, and they’re both minorities. Hmm). Anyways Rhodey does not get enough love, nor does his status as a hero outside of Tony get enough love, NOR does his friendship with Tony get enough love, and his potential romantic connections with Tony also don’t get enough love. His sass, compassion, and his interesting participation in a system he knows doesn’t always to the right thing, and occasional complicity in this, also doesn’t get enough love. And the MCU can eat my turds for ignoring who he is as a character just to use him as a plot device.

Overrated character- Ok this is gunna be so mean lmao I love him so much I swear but Bucky. Why the this is this bland ass white dude with 3 half personality traits and literally nothing outside of Steve’s character even liked? He is the male Sharon Carter and honestly that’s unfair to Sharon because she at least has SHIELD and spying as personal interests, what the fuck does Bucky have? HYDRA control, which is literally nothing. He’s almost never an active character, he’s barely even constructed as a character, and has nothing outside of Steve to make him compelling at all.

He is objectively so fucking bland that a couple days ago I realized that when I write Bucky I’m taking his 3 traits from the MCU and literally constructing an OC because Bucky is nowhere near developed enough as a character to even write. He’s also a plot device and used as motivation for Steve. Poor dude doesn’t even have interests outside Steve. How he got to be so massively popular, including to me, I have no idea because objectively speaking he is one of the least interesting characters in the MCU- its everyone else around him that makes his story interesting. Seriously. If Steve wasn’t his friend and Tony’s parents weren’t his parents would we even care about him at all? 

A good character still stands if you take the people around them away- take that away from Bucky and his story loses all meaning because it isn’t important to Bucky, its important to the people around him. Like his story is sad, but the emotional impact of what happens to him doesn’t even come from us caring about him, it comes from us caring about the people around him. Granted people are overly attached to him so it worked out in the MCU’s favor and the writers won’t need to make him an active, interesting protagonist because people read into him finding things that aren’t there, and seriously I swear I love Bucky, but he really is a stale, uninteresting character if I actually examine him on his own rather than in the wider context of the events he’s a part of.

TL;DR- love Rhodey you heathens, and while I love Bucky I don’t know why because he isn’t interesting if you look at his story on its own due to its complete lack of emotional impact on him rather than the characters around him.

[jungnoir]

mini cryptid hunter!bts au bc i was enabled

@clockwork-lullaby this was probably more than you were asking for but it’s happening

yoongi

the “logical” cryptid hunter. if you watch buzzfeed unsolved just think shane LOL

yoongi just has a really specific fear and it’s of demons

grew up in a really religious church playing the piano as a kid so he always heard about “exorcisms” being done on the church grounds late at night from his friends

yoongi isn’t as dumb but i mean he’s bored on a friday night and his parents are out for their anniversary so he goes and sneaks in with them to the church and the lights are on and he actually encounters a possessed church goer getting cleansed by a few priests but it’s just. like not working?

the person is absolutely livid and seething and speaking in a crackly voice and suddenly the demon notices him and his friends run but yoongi is just stone still

before the demon can try and hurt him it’s exorcised and yoongi is completely mortified and the priests are like “kid omg why are you here you could have DIED” and they tell him to never speak of it to anyone and yoongi’s smart enough to know that what he’s just seen is something way beyond his years

in fact he’s repressed it so much that even when he’s older sometimes he has to remind himself it happened and now hunting demons is just his damn calling

100% carries a dagger or something dipped in holy water and probably knows a bunch of bible verses that’ll make a demon squeal right off the top of his head

when not hunting demons, he’s usually just making fun of namjoon for getting spooked all the time LOL

him and hoseok are like the lethal duo for demons like god forbid you’re a demon and get on their bad side bc u will be finessed tf into a pile of ash

probably naps on the way to haunted sites and the first maknae to rouse him from his sleep is carrying him to their destination

(but never jimin bc jimin is not a heathen like the others ofc)

namjoon

ok i’m gonna crack on my boyfriend real quick: DUDE IS SUCH A BABY OH MY GOD!!! HOW DID HE GET HERE!!! WHY IS HE DOING THIS!!!!! WHY COULDN’T HE MAKE FRIENDS WITH NORMAL PEOPLE WHO DON’T HUNT THE SUPERNATURAL

he’s v smart and reads up on lots of folklore from all around the world so he’s your go to when you wanna figure out what’s been spooking the locals

namjoon says he doesn’t believe in the supernatural but this is usually said in a small, squeaky chant under his breath as he wanders through the cemetery during witching hour with his six dumb ass friends and why did he have to start that casual conversation with hoseok that one time in biology-

has never had a definite brush with the supernatural BUT 9/10 he’s gonna think a floorboard creaking is the hounds of hell coming after him

it’s even worse that he’s clumsy

if jin isn’t holding onto him he’s most likely gonna run and fall when something remotely worrying happens and they aren’t carrying an injured namjoon through another haunted house again, goddamit joon

his favorite subject is aliens and he’s constantly letting the boys know that they are out there and they are avoiding the human race bc the human race is, in fact, super fucking stupid

is also stuck between wanting to get abducted so he can be left alone or wanting the rest of the world to get abducted so he can be left alone

tough choices, really

if shit goes down namjoon is either hiding behind yoongi or hoseok and he only trusts those two to get him out safely

“the rest of you are despicably hopeless” “you trip on dust, namjoon”

jin

the Responsible Adult

also easily spooked as fuck skfjekfi

ngl he’s only slightly more calm than namjoon but that is not,,,, by much

they usually cling to each other to calm each other down (the fucking waves of anxiety rolling off of the both of them is truly just. terrible. they’re both so nervous you can feel it from right at home behind the screen of your phone from which you’re reading this)

jin babbles when he’s scared too, and starts singing old nursery rhymes his mom sang him when he was still scared of the monsters under his bed

but ok. his reflexes are WAY better than namjoon’s bc where namjoon is “scream and run”, jin’s is “punch and run”

dude don’t even know what he saw but he’s already swinging

jin knows ghosts are real because he had an imaginary friend as a child who resembled the old owner of his house pretty spot on

since he figured that out, he can’t sleep in his old room alone any more and will use any excuse in the book to share with his parents when he visits

jin is always carrying snacks for the boys bc cryptid hunting is brutal man,, here’s a protein bar and some holy water

uses a fanny pack to carry said snacks and while yoongi has made every joke in the book abt it, who is the one carrying the antiseptic in a conveniently stored place when said min yoongi gets a cut hm

hoseok 

ok ok hoseok had a somewhat similar experience to yoongi as a kid and is also a great demon hunter

his family taught him about the evil shits as a kid so he’s always been aware of them even if kids always called him dumb for thinking they were real

uniquely enough, his choice of weapon is a bow and arrow (also dipped in holy water but depending on what they hunt, he could use anything speared by his arrow)

he really REALLY loves hunting famous lore tho like one time they actually tried to find bigfoot and he was so excited the whole time he couldn’t sleep. he learned the mating call and everything

(yoongi brought earplugs specifically for this reason)

he used to be easily spooked as a kid but now he’s steeled his nerves, if only to become the best monster hunter he can be

does copious amounts of research with joonie (listen ok they have sleepovers together and just geek out over the possibilities of some cryptid existing somewhere and hoseok gets stars in his eyes imagining what could be. namjoon loves analyzing the logic and sets hoseok on the right path since he tends to get a bit daydreamy when it comes to the famous stuff)

imagine him just freakin slaying a demon in front of the boys and getting a cocky lil smirk on his face

“calm down buffy, your ego is gonna be too big to fit in the van home”

jimin

ngl first thing he thinks about when his friends talk abt the supernatural is unicorns and fairies

he’s not v acquainted with the darker stuff

honestly doesn’t know why he’s hanging out with them all but he’s just happy to be here

always asks questions about what the boys know or have experienced. he’s really interested and he gets v empathetic

“no taehyung we can’t watch the poltergeist tonight, you know how uncomfortable it makes namjoon and jin” “we hunt these things daily u know that right”

v interested in magic

anything the boys find that involves magic, jimin is 110% hyper focused on the subject

he does his own lil research in his own time but he can’t help reading creepypastas sometimes

he doesn’t know any better ok!!!

also carries snacks but in a backpack bc he really can’t get behind the fanny pack

jin: they’re convenient

jimin: they’re a fashion abomination is what they are

one time they were hunting a monster that jumped out at taehyung and jimin just fuckin

decked it

like no thought just a right hook to the eye(s)

there were multiple eyes and jimin couldn’t stop whining abt the residue on his hand as they ran back to the van to hide

he’s just having a good time with his friends and didn’t really sign up for the monster bit but that’s okay

taehyung

so uh

taehyung can talk to the dead

this has actually been a thing he could do since he was a kiddo and similarly to hoseok, he was shunned for it because nobody believed him

he communicates with past relatives or family friends of his often for his family (who also know and find it kind of lovely what he can do) and sometimes passes on things for the dead to their living family

like he’ll order orange tulips sent to the home of a grieving widow bc her recently deceased husband asked him to do him that favor, something her husband had been planning on picking up for her the day he died

or he’ll quietly look after his classmate whose mother died because he was asked to. he’ll share his lunch with her and make sure she eats because her mother just knows she’s not well

when he met hoseok (who is really the heart of this lil group), he just felt so much relief at finally being understood

he’s really a great mediator for ghosts when they encounter them and he’s so helpful at leading them to the afterlife if needed

he’s really not scared of much to be honest. he finds everything so fascinating

sometimes it drains him being kind of a connect between the human and spiritual world but he’s so glad he was born that way, it’s helped him meet so many wonderful people and he loves who he is

and yeh ok taehyung abuses his power like the lil shit he is sometimes

tae: did you wash the dishes

jk: *clearly lying* yeh

tae: the ghost standing next to you begs to differ

jk: ...for the love of god taE NOT AGAIN

jungkook

ok, like i said,,, dude is an adrenaline junkie

jungkook does not give two flying shits he will deadass fight a headless forest demon in his living room if he has to

jungkook fears no man or god

strongest member so he’s always the one to carry namjoon when he inevitably hurts himself and has to be helped

even tho he’s not easily scared for his own life, he is scared for his family and friends

his worst nightmare is losing any of them to something they hunt

sometimes he’ll line windows and doors in his house with salt discreetly, just enough for it to work and just enough that his mom won’t yell at him for wasting perfectly good salt

is always researching protection spells and things just in case he’ll ever need em, usually consults yoongi for help too

“who do you think would win in a fight between mothman and a wendigo”

genuinely cannot function on an empty stomach and the boys have to stop by convenience stores to buy him like six cups of instant ramen just to satiate him

of course jin has some snacks in his handy fanny pack if needed (and has made painstakingly clear if jungkook mocks said fanny pack that he will be banned from getting snacks from it for the rest of his “measly young life”)

jungkook has some good sense and hasn’t said a word (but he has thought a copious amount, for sure)

#majspeaks #majwrites #idk if i should tag this as scenarios but fuk it im gonna it #bts scenarios #bts #monster hunter au

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

10: One and One

To some, a delay would invite the possibilities of losing focus. To some, maybe anticipation turns to an overeagerness to just get to it. That overeagerness is like a sugar high and the subsequent crash. He couldn’t speak for his partner, but for John the concept of time was just a little blurred. The goal for him remained the same as always: to succeed. That means procuring the Television championship. That means kicking off NSFW the right way. So here he was. Trying to figure out just how to do that. The small text on the glowing screens strained his eyes so he adjusted the pair of narrow framed reading glasses on the bridge of his nose to minimize that impact. He used his index finger and thumb to scroll through a video gallery on the ‘streaming’ network, stopping every once in a while at one of the descriptions. He was seated at the scuffed up wooden round table in her dining room. The other three chairs of various makes were at this point vacant. An open notebook was laid before him and he used his left hand to tap the eraser end of a pencil on the page. All lights were off in the house except for the two bulbs in a glass fixture overhead. John went to press play on the next clip when he heard the front door open. Her steps and movements in the living room were loud and boisterous. She may have announced herself but he was concentrating on the last bullet point on the page. Finally, she stepped into the room he was in and and flicked on the lights via a switch just to the right of the door way. John looked up at her wryly, taking the reading glasses off and carefully folding the arms shut. “I’m hoooooome,” she called out, flopping unceremoniously into the opposite chair. She looked quite happy, and perhaps slightly tipsy. John tucked the glasses into the front pocket of his t-shirt, “how was it?” “Christ, that was great. I got a good feeling about this one, Church. I mean, she’s funny, she’s smart, she’s, okay, a stone cold fox… yeah. She’s shaping up to be a keeper.” “That’s good.” “Yes. Yes it is. You have no idea how fuckin' hard it’s been to find a good woman in this town,” she waved a hand, “Anyway. What’ve you been up to all evening? I mean, obviously you didn’t throw a wild party or nothin’ while I was gone.” John liked that she did her own thing. He was starting to see the enjoyment in what would be a healthy isolated where someone somewhere would eventually just say hello. He closed the notebook, “Homework.” “That so?” she leaned over a bit, giving a cursory glance to the notebook on the table, “Figure it ain’t Trig 1.” “It’s about our job.” “Thought it might be,” she gave her chin a tap, a tic of hers when she was recalling something, “Is that what all the other notebooks are for? Notes? I mean I didn’t read any or nothin’, I just, y’know. Noticed.” “Yes. Most of them are just that. You forgot something,” his tone was without judgment as he placed a small box with a flip open lid on the table in front of him. “Aw, geez, my fuckin’ cigs,” she picked the box up and pocketed it, “Shouldn’t leave those things laying around. Didn’t need ‘em tonight anyway. I really have been trying to cut down.” “We aren’t each other’s keepers - however we are partners,” he flipped the notebook open to the first page. Each line was filled with tiny, precise, neat writing, “when I came back, I was under the impression that muscle memory would be a enough to get by. However, that was not the case. My first weekend back in this business, I failed. It wasn’t just about losing, it was that I embarrassed myself. I gave the impression of being a wash out. I could barely breathe. I was not ready. And of course, there was the issue of time. You can’t defeat time,” he paused, “but that is actually the easiest thing to resolve. It’s like sharpening a knife. It’s been,” he turned two pages, “eight years since you’ve competed full time. Your last appearance was here in your current city of residence at a local outlaw show. Three years ago. You can’t wipe that away but you can treat your body better.” “I know, I know. Seriously, I rarely touch these things anymore. Carry ‘em around mostly out of habit, but nowadays I only light up if something’s really fuckin’ wigging me out. Which I think’s progress, considering I used to be a fuckin’ chainsmoker. But… you’re right. I’ll try harder,” she took the pack out of her pocket and tossed it instead into a nearby drawer. “I get your point. But what do all the notes have t’ do with anything?” “Body and mind. That first night, nobody saw me on my hands and knees wheezing and coughing. Nobody saw me laid out on the concrete for nearly an hour. Here’s what they did see: a tremendously unprepared wrestler outmatched by the vigor of youth. When I started, I could count on my strength and ability to burst through any mistakes that I would make. Twenty years later, I’m a little slower and with none of the experience to show for it,” he turned to the next page, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. That’s from Art of War. So I went back to the drawing board. The red head from last month, she had been on a slide but that doesn’t seem to matter to her, nothing to be honest seemed to matter to her. Her movements were devastating but they were also sloppy. She took one too risks,” two more pages, “and the sadomasochist was powerful and deliberate and despite having an advantage in numbers, he relished too much in the aftermath of his every blow. He gave me time to recover and deliver receipts.” “And he was probably angling to go after your feet.” “Correct. Hobbling one’s leg in this case would have been a very sound strategy.” “Anywho, this is… kinda fucking amazing. You notice this kind of stuff about everyone?” “Not without due diligence. Think about it, Mike. The baseball stuff we watched last night. So what you see on the TV, it’s the end result of deliberate planning. What happens is somethings at the mercy of circumstance and the ability of the player but there is always a plan. The pitcher and the batter. It’s a man trying to hit a ball out of thin air. Look at their eyes. Look at their body language. That is the real game. The opponents have prepared for each other. The batter knows by habit what that pitcher’s worst throw is. The pitcher knows by habit how to make that batter swing just too late. Now who can execute? It’s the same with our sport.” “Holy shit. I didn’t think you were even paying attention, you didn’t seem that into it.” John shrugged, “I couldn’t tell you what the score was. So in the traditional sense, yes, I wasn’t paying attention. But I saw what I wanted to see. After my first defeat, I learned that I was not in shape and I did not know my opposition. After my first few wins, I could see that this was going to be an uphill battle. The idea of training isn’t exclusive to us. All of us should be reviewing tape. All of us should know what each of us is capable off and how to counter it,” finally he turned to the page that he had been writing on earlier, “that is what I am doing now.” “Eh, you didn’t miss much, game was a fuckin’ blowout. Mets gotta figure out how t’ beat the goddamn Braves, that series was a fuckin’ embarrassment,” reaching over to the counter, she grabbed her hat and jammed it on her head. She’d forgone it for her date, “Anyway, on one hand, yeah, you’re absolutely right. BUT. Do we really need t’ put this much work into Team Fuckface? Not t’ tell you what to do, but I’d think this level’a study’d be better placed on Ruthann. Especially after a bye week.” He pushed back in his seat and stood, “That was earlier this afternoon. In a different book. Our debut is what matters at this moment. And on the cover of their book,” he pressed his index finger on the page, “they are vulgar human beings with no redeemable qualities. And as true as they may be, they are not be taken lightly. Like me, the boy is a former collegiate wrestler and under all of those corner cutting measures is the pure base of a professional wrestler. He talks and talks and talks and more often than not, he backs up those works. Angel of Death isn’t just some local big man. He’s a mercenary who accepts payment for blood. He extracts that blood through untapped skill. They are a team in name only. They are one and one and their only chainlink is cash and all of the evils it summons.” He stopped and he could almost predict her response. John sometimes left awkward moments in the air and just as she opened her mouth, he continued, “Graveyards are littered with the bones of the people who are just happy to be at the dance. They loved this sport and many of them were vanquished by the ones who leech onto it like a parasite. We can’t just be good people. We can’t just be on the right side of history. Our love for this business won’t matter. What will matter is knowing who they are, what they do, why they do it, and making sure they don’t take advantage of our perceived weaknesses.” “So we kick their teeth in. But… first we study on how best to fuckin’ kick their teeth in,” she grinned, the one she tended to get when she had designs on ring-related violence. “Y’know, I got the network on the Roku. So we don’t gotta hunch over our phones. Want me to bring up anything in particular, or do we start from the beginning?” “From the beginning,” he started towards the living room and stopped short at the door way, “The boy’s official debut. I eliminated him. He chose to run his mouth before that and made many enemies. I picked the bones. If I knew what I knew now, he would have left much earlier. Watch his eyes. Not what he does. Everything he does is crisp and nearly perfect. His eyes in the most perilous moments betray his actions and if we play it right, they’ll betray him next Friday, too.” “Gotcha.” “And big man. So happy to do something on his own when he uses his unbelievable strength to toss out that strange little man who thought no-one was watching when he snuck out of the show last Friday with other people’s belongings. Look at him when the boy takes all of the credit and never bothers to come to his aid just before he was dumped out." John turned back around to face her. He held one finger up from each hand. "That is the essence of Collateral Damage. One and one.” “Not like us,” Mike said it with absolute certainty.

#archive