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#i never said i liked running this blog.
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
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I want you whipped into shape!
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flowercrowngods · 6 months
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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dhmis-autism · 1 year
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ngl, when I read ur posts I do hear Duck's voice. You do remind me of him /pos <3
CMON MAN
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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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dooxliss · 3 months
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hi. i would like to learn more about your ocs :-)
omg hi silas :^)
taking the opportunity to talk about my jjk oc that i haven’t drawn in forever (that i’ll hopefully draw for funguary), kei takeuchi
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kei is a grade 2 sorcerer, goes to the kyoto school, and is in their fourth year, so did not participate in the goodwill event.
they did go, though, bc they had heard about yuuji and wanted to meet this statistical miracle (since what are the chances that the person that eats one of sukuna’s fingers has the capacity to be his vessel 💀)
they did hear that yuuji died so did not bring any talismans (but came for the chance to go into inner city tokyo) so when yuuji turned out to be alive they didn’t have anything to give 🫠 yuuji later received a ‘mysterious’ gift in the mail from them
kei’s cursed technique is called inky cap! they have alcoholic blood, which is the fuel for the mushrooms they conjure. they work similarly to real life inky cap mushrooms/tippler’s bane, but can be more potent, especially if they drink alcohol. overuse of the technique causes an inky like substance to ooze out of the eyes, and contributes to the stress indicated in their hair. in the takeuchi family, the color of the hair is an indicator of their health. lighter is better, and fully dark hair is an omen for incoming death. kei’s technique advances the dark color of their hair upwards, as does any excessive straining or traumatic event. as a result, they don’t know if they could develop a domain expansion and don’t want to try (if they did have one tho it would be called extant form of life /ref)
in contrast, their older sister nao was born sickly with dark hair, but her hair has gotten lighter and she has gotten stronger as she got older, especially once her cursed technique manifested. kei believes that nao is the favorite (not wrong)
because of everything related to kei’s technique and likely early death (as a sorcerer as well), they are extremely superstitious person, keeping as many auspicious items as possible, keeping a compass so they never sleep facing north, avoiding the numbers 4 and 9, and religiously keeping track of new years dreams.
while mechamaru did not want anyone from kyoto to come to shibuya aside from todo, kei and nao were already there for a halloween party, so they both responded to the same call and jumped in to help, separating somewhat early on. nao was unfortunately in the direction of sukuna’s cleave and kei pushed themselves so post shibuya, kei uses a cane and nao is missing. (they find each other in time for the killing game :^) )
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arowrath · 10 months
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i think part of why taylor swift's fanbase can be so incredibly parasocial is because her music tends to focus on her own experiences and things that have happened to her. and a lot of them are very personal and it's easy to connect with an artist's work and have that develop into a parasocial relationship with them. this isn't a criticism of her to be clear, i definitely don't think it was intentional especially at the beginning of her career when she was like 16. and i understand why someone would be a fan of her as a person after listening to her music. and i dont think thats a flaw and i dont think anyone should be criticized for it in general but i do wish people were more aware of how they're interacting with her & her music & try not to let their parasocial relationships develop into something unhealthy
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just-aro · 1 year
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y'all have no idea how much effort goes into trying to interpret and respond to some of the questions we get about aromanticism lol.
like kee does so much tonal phrasing to be nice about this, but. please. "what is aromantic?" i am not google. "i don't know if i feel romantic attraction." cool, i'm not gonna be able to tell you what it feels like either. "hi, what if I am a person and not one of the major aro stereotypes?" then you are a person who is aro and doesn't fit that stereotype.
and like, whatever, we deal with those fine. but the worst. the absolute worst. is the ones where the ask is more or less requesting me to speak for aromantic people as a whole, or - worse and more commonly - a specific subset of aro people who i may not identify with, and almost always insist they aren't trying to be bad, but have such a questionable mindset behind it that i feel like i need to start with "how to identify that you haven't unlearned shit, you just realized you have an identity and stuck your tongue out at the people who taught you that shit"
#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#i am trying. so hard. to answer things nicely#but also i am not google i am not representing every aro person and sometimes... you should research something#sometimes. if you listen to the group you have questions about and research questions via searches or asking for simple resources.#you will find out information without our system struggling with feeling obligated to respond nicely because we know the avg user is young#and we want to model that asking questions is good and that you can kindly say 'i'm not part of this group but here's what they've said'#and things like that#but. sometimes i get asks that make me want to delete aro-culture-is or archive it and just never open it again#and they're not even the bigots or anything#it's just that we're plural but one disabled body#and it's fucking exhausting.#but also we don't really want to go through the process of vetting new mods or anything like that#it sounds exhausting and frankly we've had enough experiences while running that blog to know#that people will find a way to be terrible and demanding#oh this is alexander btw#if you see salty takes it's probs me. protective fuckery is phoenix or axel tho#just... like bro please. please consider that i'm not hear to guide you through the baby steps of realizing you aren't actually#the anti-fascist rebel you think you are ur just queer and online. i am here because i wanted a space for aro people to be silly.#and everyone looked at my silly 'haha this is meant to be claiming silly things like games as ours' page#and was like 'oh! time to seriously discuss every experience of aromanticism i have :)'#but especially the ones against the rules :)
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front-facing-pokemon · 6 months
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since you skipped gen 5 and went straight to gen 6 with its 3d models you probably missed this, but the elemental monkeys are see no evil (panpour), hear no evil (pansear), speak no evil (pansage). kinda got lost in the transition from sprites.
well i still played it as an adult. i've heard this before also it's kinda hard to be a pokémon fan and not hear things like this. thank you though
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13eyond13 · 7 months
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obihoe · 8 months
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tumblr restricting the amount of words u can put in a single paragraph and forcing u to divide it at some point is so funny. its like 'stop rambling, make an effort to make proper paragraphs u incomprehensible bitch'
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twilightarcade · 8 months
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[gameshow host of sorts voice] anyways folks it looks like our time here is up, thanks for coming out tonight and we'll see you next time
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anotherpapercut · 1 year
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apparently I made someone completely delete their blog 😬😬
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#aaaaaaugh dude I MISS HIM i dont know what to say that hasnt already been said#but posting is so hard talking about him is so hard#every day i wait for his youtube to post a new video or for the technodad account to be like 'LOL YOU NERDS ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT'#he was just playing a long-con prank and It'll Be Fine and he just wanted to distract us while he worked on some new insane project#how am i still fully in denial 5 months later. it's almost been half a year#i cant watch his videos anymore. it was easy the 1st week and then it was impossible then it was easy again now it's impossible again#drawing in general is hard bc he was all i was drawing. he still is but im drawing WAY less and with pretty much no passion behind it#cant draw stuff for myself i just wanna draw him. partly bc of him but also bc that's where i made all my friends with you guys :(#i dont wanna go back to what i used to do. i wanna stay here. but it's really hard#i know i dont *have* to make my own posts and i can just reblog and ramble n stuff but. it feels weird not to#i save all my favorite things here. there's still clips i havent taken. art i havent made. fics i've never wrote (and never will lol)#i dont WANT to stop. it's hard to force myself to get back into it tho. there's no easy way to talk about him#it feels borderline unhealthy trying to keep it up#but i keep going into swings of ''i love it here so much i love you guys'' and ''i cant keep going im not strong enough''#so like. which is it. what's REALLY wrong??? i wish i could just go back to how things were aaaaa#idk what i mean by that really. just wish i could find some normalcy in it all whatever that would mean for me#idk if my issue is Him Being Dead or trying to run a blog for a guy who died. some combination. some secret third thing. augh#chat#tw death
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adamsvanrhijn · 2 years
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kind of weird honestly for people to get offended by. imagining i gave up on and was pleased by the canonical break up of a ship that literally saved my life to the point of going through the five stages of fucking grief about it without ever bothering to check if anything i said actually matched what people were telling you it said or like. you know. asking me about it directly
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lattehearted · 1 year
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ship tags 2 / ? - fe a.wakening part 1 (general ; no blogs tagged atm) except for g.aimari for @fablewrote
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alexandreakarev · 2 years
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This is a BLOG SET UP tag drop.  Wishlist, answered, promos, about blog, permanent starter call, stats are all tags under the cut. This tag set up are different quotes for all the tags in this section.
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* … ( OOC : ramblings. ) › ❝ she has a mouth like unswept glass. it will CUT you when you least expect it. ❞ * … ( OOC : ooc answered. ) › ❝ you have the words to change a nation and yet? you’ve been BITING your tongue. ❞ * … ( OOC : about the mun. ) › ❝ she has kind of said too much. and you’ve said ENOUGH. promise that she is just another narcissist. ❞ * … ( OOC : original poetry. ) › ❝ prefers her work to be RECOGNISED rather than hidden. either way? she won’t go speechless. ❞ * … ( OOC : self promo. ) › ❝ a little self-promo featured on the dash never really KILLED anyone. has it? ❞ * … ( OOC : promo. ) › ❝ the best people completely DESERVING of all of your love & attention on shining spotlights of their own. ❞ * … ( OOC : musings. ) › ❝ she is brave and STRONG and broken all at once. ❞ * … ( OOC : nsfw. ) › ❝ mascara runnin’ and lipstick smudged. wearing a red wine stained dress with a hint of the DEVIL in her eyes. ❞ * … ( OOC : desires. ) › ❝ took her hours just to do her makeup right. if you’re the reason it gets ruined she’ll be PISSED tonight. ❞ * … ( OOC : wanted plots. ) › ❝ wish I never hung up the phone like I did. WISH you knew that I’d never forget you as long as I live. ❞ * … ( OOC : wishlist. ) › ❝ let a shooting star run across a MIDNIGHT sky. throw a coin into a wishing well. make a wish now. ❞ * … ( OOC : ask meme. ) › ❝ she hates playing MIND games but yet continues pulling and pushing. loving you is a losing game. ❞ * … ( OOC : about blog. ) › ❝ doesn’t start with once upon a time. you know what she’ll introduce the LEGACY with? always and forever. ❞ * … ( OOC : plotting starter call. ) › ❝ handle it? are you kidding? she’s the master of SKILLFULLY planning the next tactical moves. ❞ * … ( OOC : statistics. ) › ❝ you and me got a whole lot of history. so does it ever drive you CRAZY just how fast the night changes? ❞ * … ( OOC : templates. ) › ❝ your lack of proper organisation causes her serious DISTRESS beyond what you could possibly fathom. ❞ * … ( OOC : credits. ) › ❝ the ABSOLUTE best lifesaving content creators. ❞ … ( OOC : all headcanons. ) › ❝ fact is deleted scenes should’ve made canon. would take over CONTROL of her original narrative. ❞ * … ( OOC : all replies. ) › ❝ written in these walls are the STORIES that I can’t explain. leave my heart open but it stays here empty. ❞ * … ( OOC : all answered. ) › ❝ watch out for a furious writer with a vocabulary of sharpened CONVICTION and quills in her arsenal. ❞ * … ( OOC : all edits. ) › ❝ nobody remembers the easy. they REMEMBER the blood, sweat and tears shed on the journey. ❞ * … ( OOC : reblogged. ) › ❝ don’t play the person. play to rig the game of the unfair system. and BREAK through the walls of it. ❞ * … ( OOC : reshared. ) › ❝ she’ll intend to keep these polaroids with her CAPTIONED signature to remember for when she’s grey. ❞ * … ( OOC : psa. ) › ❝ thank you next. in ADVANCE? you’re welcome. ❞ * … ( OOC : verses. ) › ❝ mayhaps in another world things would’ve been DIFFERENT. and I could’ve made you stay. ❞ * … ( OOC : verse drop. ) › ❝ she wants to be your midnights. are we out of the woods yet? tell me where do broken hearts go. ❞ * … ( OOC : queue. ) › ❝ just called to say this is the LAST you’ll be hearing from me. ‘cause now i’ve moved on. ❞
#tag drop#* … ( OOC : ramblings. )   ›   ❝ she has a mouth like unswept glass. it will CUT you when you least expect it. ❞#* … ( OOC : ooc answered. )   ›   ❝ you have the words to change a nation and yet? you’ve been BITING your tongue. ❞#* … ( OOC : about the mun. )   ›   ❝ she has kind of said too much. and you’ve said ENOUGH. promise that she is just another narcissist. ❞#* … ( OOC : original poetry. )   ›   ❝ prefers her work to be RECOGNISED rather than kept hidden away. either way? she wont go speechless. #* … ( OOC : self promo. )   ›   ❝ a little self-promo featured on the dash never really KILLED anyone. has it? ❞#* … ( OOC : promo. )   ›   ❝ the best people completely DESERVING of all of your love & attention on shining spotlights of their own. ❞#* … ( OOC : musings. )   ›   ❝ she is brave and STRONG and broken all at once. ❞#* … ( OOC : nsfw. )   ›   ❝ mascara runnin’ and lipstick smudged. wearing a red wine stained dress with a hint of the DEVIL in her eyes. ❞#* … ( OOC : desires. )   ›   ❝ took her hours just to do her makeup right. if you’re the reason it gets ruined she’ll be PISSED tonight. ❞#* … ( OOC : wanted plots. )   ›   ❝ wish I never hung up the phone like I did. WISH you knew that I’d never forget you as long as I live. ❞#* … ( OOC : wishlist. )   ›   ❝ let a shooting star run across a MIDNIGHT sky. throw a coin into a wishing well. make a wish now. ❞#* … ( OOC : ask meme. )   ›   ❝ she hates playing MIND games but continues pushing and pulling. loving you is a losing game. ❞#* … ( OOC : about blog. )   ›   ❝ doesn’t start with once upon a time. you know what she’ll introducd the LEGACY with? always and forever.#* … ( OOC : plotting starter call. )   ›   ❝ handle it? are you kidding? she’s the master of SKILLFULLY planning the next tactical moves. ❞#* … ( OOC : statistics. ) ⠀ › ⠀ ❝ you and me got a whole lot of history. so does it ever drive you CRAZY just how fast the night changes? ❞#* … ( OOC : templates. )   ›   ❝ your lack of proper organisation causes her serious DISTRESS beyond what you could possibly fathom. ❞#* … ( OOC : credits. )   ›   ❝ the ABSOLUTE best lifesaving content creators. ❞#* … ( OOC : all headcanons. )   ›   ❝ fact is deleted scenes should’ve made canon. would take over CONTROL of her original narrative. ❞#* … ( OOC : all replies. )   ›   ❝ written in these walls are STORIES I can’t explain. leave my heart open but it stays here empty. ❞#* … ( OOC : all answered. )   ›   ❝ watch out for a furious writer with a vocabulary of sharpened CONVICTION and quills in her arsenal. ❞#* … ( OOC : all edits. )   ›   ❝ nobody remembers the easy. they REMEMBER the blood sweat and tears shed on the journey. ❞#* … ( OOC : reblogged. )   ›   ❝ don’t play the person. play to rig the game of the unfair system. and BREAK through the walls of it. ❞#* … ( OOC : reshared. )   ›   ❝ she’ll intend to keep these polaroids with her CAPTIONED signature to remember for when she’s grey. ❞#* … ( OOC : psa. )   ›   ❝ thank you next. in ADVANCE? you’re welcome. ❞#* … ( OOC : verses. )   ›   ❝ mayhaps in another world things would’ve been DIFFERENT. and I could’ve made you stay. ❞#* … ( OOC : verse drop. )   ›   ❝ she wants to be your midnights. are we out of the woods yet? tell me where do broken hearts go. ❞#* … ( OOC : queue. )   ›   ❝ just called to say this is the LAST you’ll be hearing from me. ‘cause now i’ve moved on. ❞
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