#i think we can ALL feel despair | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dailykafka · 5 months

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One of the weirdest things that happened to Kafka here is how he was assimilated into femcel bubble.

Repeat after me: Kafka is not #female rage #coquette #female hysteria #whatever it is that tries to define genuine human experiences of an individual as a solely female experiences (and by doing so completely erasing him in the process), thus alienating actual human beings of various backgrounds from each other and preventing true human connection and understanding between them. Kafka is not "for the girlies" he is for whoever feels the heavy burden of life (and isn't that everybody?)

This insistence that deep introspection of the self, feelings of helplessness and despair is somehow universally 'female' not only excludes women who do not relate to these experiences but also those who are not women and do experience them, yet are excluded on the basis of "aestheticized" suffering where one of the main components is that you have to be a woman.

Girls, stop trying to fit Kafka into your voyeuristic 'tortured female' aethetics. Because if the experience of being a woman is what makes it especially unique for you, there are other writers (women writers) who would be a better fit for you (and for your aethetics). But also, know that you aren't the only ones (as women) who feel the despair of this world, do not make this life lonelier than it already is.

#i feel like posting this is a bit risky but whatever #i think we can ALL feel despair #<- yeah its a stupid reference lol #idkk if i shoud have written this at all but GOD if i see one more tag like that usef for kafka…#are yall max brod? the way you butcher the essence of a man and form it for your liking #🏷️

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hajihiko · 2 years

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back off our boy!

#Yes yes you're in love with Hajime. Bitch we all are!! Play nice or ELSE #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #Hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #Sonia nevermind #Akane owari #Kazuichi Souda #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Their endless weird unhealthy flirting game is ended by the power of :#Friends Who Want What's Best For You (And May Be A Bit Overprotective)#Once again I feel u must clarify. I'm not like a vicious hater of the ship or anything #I think they (and chiaki) make the most sense as love interests #I just also believe they're very unhealthy for one another and need like t years of therapy before they should ethically try dating at all #Sometimes people can have feelings and be back for each other and that's a fun thing to roll around and analyze imo!

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statementlou · 5 months

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So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)

ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?

"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.

#long version of this part maybe later… (orrr maybe here and now oops lol):#I believe we are all born natural anarchists with a desire to live in mutually supportive ways and in freedom #it only gets beaten out of people by the trauma of the system and being forced to struggle to survive #Louis shares with many privileged people a certain immaturity of not understanding those struggles #but I think that 'immaturity' can include- in smart and good people- not having lost sight of that utopianism #because they are able to conceptualize it because they live the way we all should be able to #free of so many of the survival struggles #(I think that in some areas maturity is code for 'beaten down to a good capitalist')#anyway and that's why autonomous zones are important:#because you HAVE to have the experience of freedom sometimes to be able to move towards it #you have to experience wins to be able to keep fighting #it's the candy crush theory of organizing lol like: people will simply give up and lose hope if everything is struggle and despair #and nothing is hope and success #you don't have to win the whole fight to get glimpses but you have to have moments #anyway a song I love that is about that is Saturday Night by the Coup it's a BOP go check her out she feels like winning #boots is a commie but that's okay he Gets It :P #anyway #anarchism #blah blah blah #I love being a louis apologist I should add that to my header what can I say: I love him #also look how many WORDS I can churn out when there's no show😂gotta fil the time somehow #send me questions I beg you we've got a long couple months ahead #comrade louis

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dazais-guardian-angel · 20 days

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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

#bungou stray dogs #been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people #first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now #he was groomed since childhood just like dazai #but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there #and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong #but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself #which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong #and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO #where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself #and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess #and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just #One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall #he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma #and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc #it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man #both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation #i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda #and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death #oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)

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ajdrawshq · 5 months

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sometimes i cant help but think about the enemy pokemon u find in mystery dungeons and the in-universe reasons for why theyre Like That. like. i know we have a bunch of examples in each game for pokemon that attack u for various reasons (misunderstandings, guarding something, gone berserk from outside influence, just an asshole, etc) but whats going on with the hundreds of mons that spawn INSIDE the mystery dungeons. like those things are already weird even though theyre well known by most residents and they appear pretty much anywhere but theres tons of pokemon that straight up live in those places. and while some have good reason to wander and attack intruders there, some are just. why. why are there Enemy Pokemon in a Mystery Dungeon next to a School. who are you people.

#and like . ok pmd1 mons are influenced by the natural disasters pmd2 are influenced by time pmd3 by despair and pmd4 by. despair again ?#but theyre still like. sentient. right.#also the fact that there are canonically criminals in the pmd world but wheres the line between that and residents of a mystery dungeon #closest thing i can think of that vaguely answers any of this is the spiritomb from the dark future but even thats an extreme AND rare case #it feels like a weird cross between animals just being animals in nature and then. society and everything that comes w that #why are there even cops in pmd anyway..#more importantly why is there a mystery dungeon next to the school. was it already there when they built the school #or did they somehow generate one???????? theres no way right #why did they think that was a good idea. mystery dungeons are famously dangerous and these mons are like yknow whatd be great #what if we took a bunch of 10 year olds (maximum.) and let them explore one of the most dangerous things known to monkind #yeah thatll be a nice fun learning experience .#< psmd is so goddamn weird (i love it tho i swear)#i would love to know what mystery dungeons would be like without all the game mechanics.....#some of them wouldnt have floors necessarily like the forests n stuff but some would.. the ever-changing layout still applies tho..#would traps be a thing. or random items just laying around #would kecleon shops even exist inside dungeons realistically. i feel like thatd be awful for business #no no going back to the fuckin school thing. theres literal groups OFFICIAL groups of pokemon made specifically to traverse the dungeons #like most pokemon dont casually wander around those things unless they live there. so why on earth is there one for the SCHOOL #pmd

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trans-cuchulainn · 3 months

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I think people watch those things as punishment because they don't have the means, time, extra money, etc, to do anything meaningful to help. So at least they can acknowledge and bear witness to the horror, even if they're not able to actually help.

right but like. "at least they can do this" makes it sound like doing that is actually materially useful, and i'm not convinced it is. i think in many cases it is only increasing the number of people suffering in the world. i agree that people are doing it because they feel powerless in other regards but in the majority of cases i think it's harming more than helping

#wasn't supposed to be continuing to engage with this topic on this blog #muted the post for a reason #please send this ask in irish to my irish-language sideblog so i can respond to it without breaking my no-discourse-in-english rules thanks #my feeling is that many of us are powerless to intervene in major world events and that feels extremely shitty #but there are very often problems closer to home that we CAN help with #and they might be smaller problems and therefore they don't feel like we're Making A Difference #but for the people who are helped by a small everyday action they are important #and that is all part of putting good into the world. and we are not powerless there #but if all of our energies and emotions are focused on the situations we cannot change/help with #we are going to overlook the things we could've helped with in the meantime #and if we are filling our brains with despair and suffering and misery #we are not going to think 'how can i put good into my local community today'#we are going to think 'god. everything is terrible and i can do nothing to help'#and that is neither useful nor sustainable #answered #anonymous

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sotogalmo · 1 month

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11:33

Woke up a few minutes ago. Was a bit confused on why my Google was on Sonic The Fighters wiki. But then like. Remembered about my sonic.exe OC: Tachyglossidae.(exe).

And all.

#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary #letting the brain talk #Tachyglossidae.(exe)#i just. rlly want to being something new to the table of EXEs. yk? and well since by. design wise Tachyglossidae is very very different from #most EXEs.. and by i said “disguise”s like. 3-4 times? when having like. just simple drawings of her-#but the most different it can be is just by the fact that im using Sonic The Fighters game as a base for her whole deal #and stuff. but i really like on how Lord X Guardians are yk? gaurdians of specific-ish things. Ken'o being Disgust ; Kofuku's Joy #and tbh my favorite one: Yokubo is desire. also Zetsubo just being his name: Despair. is just. so cool #like. Lord X is not alone. there are others with him. and rhey are all like. guardians of action(Kito: prayer) and feelings(Yokubo/Gekido/#Zetsubo/Kofuku/Ken'o/Kyofu). and i just. OUGG. thats just so good. having a Lord and then. guardians? thats so good #and well. it kinda just made me think of how im making Tachyglossidae.(exe). yk? I have too many versions of her #that at this point they could also be like the guardians! — but ofc they are just going to be different levels of anger #thats her main thing and kinda. basically why i made her tbh. i was having anger in my mind just so i can get that out of the way #since. she kinda is just gonna be my own manifestations of my own rage/wrath. — but then i have to like. add in #but i still dont rlly know just WHAT exactly i have to do with her to make her very. appealing to others. without saying #that shes my manifastations of.my own feelings. because tbh. i just almost always very lightly project myself onto characters #and just. yeah. but like. i dunno whats NEW and INTERESTING that i can do with her without making her. just a rage filled #being for a reason. we already have that. in like. so many EXE OCs... and mine is just gonna be another one..but OUGH

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sailor-aviator · 7 months

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#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

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fooltofancy · 11 months

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6.4 thots etc

important to me that the narrative is forcing the wol to like.... engage with losing zenos. 'cause that's what this has felt like, from the first shock of seeing his voidsent in the depths of troia to dealing with what are frankly a lot of big, open-ended questions about their relationship, like. that's loss! and there's gonna be grief there that they frankly aren't going to be able to express in polite, or any, company, because how do you express grief for this man who's done so, so much damage to the fabric of this world and its people, right? where do you have the space to do that?

idk it's important to me that the wol gets to start untangling that gnarly unhealthy ball of whatever emotional trauma they have around that relationship, and that it's not handled with contempt. that would be so easy, they could have come back and just let it rest but instead you get so many little moments of visible hurt and they're so gentle and it's like yeah. you've killed your friend, maybe the only person who's understood this part of you that you've got to keep under wraps cause it's not palatable, but it's the hero in you also.

#man idk i have a whole lot of thoughts to untangle abt nihilism and despair and hope and how theyre all tied up w zenos's pursuit of the wol #am i gonna sleep no im just gonna lie here and think abt zenos.#again.#just love the game being like HEY YOU CAN FEEL THAT LOSS! and then dropping u into war trauma lmao #yeah experience the grief and also the consequences of your actions #love this stupid fucking game #also the longer this goes on the more ilya is like okay zero darling my love my everything we have got to stop having thse conversations #in public cause there are some things i am not gonna be able to explain #to my friends and loved ones #thank u.#baby mode blogging #6.4 spoilers #endwalker spoilers #ffxiv #im not even finished w the quest stuff send help

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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months

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...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

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down-with-the-mafia · 1 year

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I really wonder how aware Vanessa is of her surroundings anymore

Can she tell who it is that intruded on her home? Does she see the kid running around? Does she acknowledge the ice statues she's created? How does she feel about it, if so? Does she feel regret? Or is she so far gone that it doesn't matter to her?

Or maybe she can't recognize anything anymore. Maybe she's too far gone. Maybe she only has vague memories in her mind that push her to destroy everything she once cared for, because she no longer holds that same love for anything anymore. Maybe everything has lost its meaning, and she can't see any of it anymore.

#I think of her kinda like a witch from pmmm #where she's just. trapped in her own mind and all she can feel is that desire to destroy everything #in that sense the house would be like her labyrinth #and she's stuck in there.#she's trapped in her despair #we don't know if she can come back from it #I don't really think she can #a hat in time #queen vanessa

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pensivespacepirate · 6 days

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AM I IN FUCKING ESKEW AGAIN

#tsv 36 #liveblog #I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP IT WAS SO TENDER IN THE BEGINNING BUT THE CHAPTER TITLE IS 'ALL LOVERS PART AS DUST' BUT WE GET A GLIMPSE OF HAPPY #MOMENTS IN THE TRAGIC SHOW YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SAVOUR IT. YOU GET HOPEFUL #you expect to see the other shoe drop but it didn't for so long so you maybe mayybe can try to settle into the comfort AND THAT'S WHEN IT #GETS YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK IN ESKEW #ESKEW PRODUCTIONS WHEN I CATCH YOU. WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU #STOP PLAYING WITH MY HOPE AND DESPAIR OMFG I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE (CLICKS ON THE NEXT EPISODE)#actually i think I'm gonna need more time before i eat the next one. this one is. fuckkkkkk #i didn't even have the emotional time to savour carpenter and haywards bickering THEY'RE SO CUTE (PLATONIC)#ANYWAY HOWWWW DO THEY DO IT SO WELL. IM FEELING BOTH HOPE AND DESPAIR TOGETHER #it's. you feel the same to Sebastian. when will the other shoe drop? when will the hotel be taken away from Sebastian? when will the #horrifying tragedy happen to dev and seb?#i kept guessing what's the worst thing to happen to them to try and prepare myself for it but honestly I'm glad I'm terrible at guessing #the dream ending. the dream ending. sorry limbus company canto 7 weighing heavy on my mind #the dream. ending #tsv #ALSO I CAN'T BELIEVE!!!! THEY GOT KISSING NOISES IN THE SILT VERSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#KISSING NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#eskew is like. being incredibly aware will not make the problems out of your control better you will only be very aware and maybe feel #vindicated if they come true but you will not feel any better #<-projecting

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pepprs · 8 months

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i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol