#i wont delete this but also maybe i will

[implied-divinity]

im feeling sappy tonight. shoutout to the baby tboys begging to be forcemasced. one day you will become the man you want to be. within the kink its wonderful when another man grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you headfirst in. its wonderful to share in the joy he felt when he started. in reality know youre afraid. it takes guts to let yourself be who you want. dont take your feelings lightly and let yourself explore. you are not alone but its also up to you. take care. much love.

#i wont kinkshame cis people who use the tags but i want to make it clear that youre a guest in this house #and that it may be just a kink for you but ive seen lots of posts on here #from trans guys who just need a push in the right direction yk? #for me kink is an extension of who i am so i understand how the kink can help you discover who you are #and i know what its like to be afraid to change #like you dont want to leave behind the girl you were. like you dont want to take up space because of how society treats girls #or to make yourself a soft femboy because you dont want to be scary #and its okay to feel that way and its okay to want to stay that way #but it may be a sign of youre sticking around in these tags that maybe youd be happier if you were more than that #just think about it i love you #force masc #forcemasc #t4t nsft #ftm nsft #trans nsft #i might delete this later cause its probablt not well articulated #also lmk if somethinf i said was bad ive been trying to check myself on like being sensitive to different people ig

[heymrspatel]

can we talk about this real quick? like can we talk about how ian's just lying there looking at his husband in their new space? were they chatting? quiet pillow talk? were they just being quiet and ian was taking it upon himself to fondly observe him? thank you for your time.

ray. you come into my house with this? fully knowing? the effect? it's going? to HAAAVE?! i see how it is...

i think it's a mix of all. i think they're absolutely floating in the afterglow. just taking their time coming down. caressing. quietly talking. taking their time with what they want to say. conversations about anything and nothing. "do you want pancakes tomorrow?" and "we have an easy work day planned" and "i loved how you touched me tonight" and "kiss me" slow, soft. little smooches. little giggles. long stares. easy smiles. heavy sighs. a 'baby' here. a 'big guy' there. i love you, i love you, i love you.

but, i know ian also took his time looking. just going over all those features he already has memorized. mickey's straight nose, his long eyelashes, his eyebrows currently at rest, his freckles. so many! lighter than ian's, but there all the same. his shiny black hair, his ears, his neck - faintly marked - beautiful, collarbone, shoulders, chest, belly, down down down... ian's hands slowly touching everything he's looking at. with his fingers tips, feather soft. mickey all floaty and glowy and warm, accepting it all.

so, yea. i think everything, softly and slowly.

#eepy baby! i'm fully wondering if you're still awake and are going to see this lol but here it goes 🤞🏼 #i wont yell at you for dropping this in my lap cause shhhh you're sleepy - maybe tomorrow 💙 #but thank you for making me lose it more than i already had upon seeing this gifset. i've seen what god has done for others. i simply ask.. #i love YOU! you get my silly words #also i would love for tumblr to stop deleting my ray tags. out of all the things this website has done. this is the worst. #whatthebodygraspsnot #asks #shameless #gallavich #ian x mickey #j ramble drabbles

[skunkes]

^_^

#sorry doomer posting #but like idk! #i keep talking abt how if i werent trans id be more inclined to accept my fate of living w my parents/family forever #but also with upcoming election and living in Texas maybe i just wont ever get to transition anyway and that will solve everything wont it #i want to leave so badly but i think id just be swapping my current misery for another set #like id be alone but at what cost. and id be alone. no friends no partner to live with no people in my empty home #work and sleep and struggling to eat. idk #im simply not meant to be alive honestly #talkys #delete later #in general i keep wanting things but not wnough bc ive been taught to not want things #i don't want to leave enough to put in the work to do it #i dont want to transition enough to get past the fear of change #i dont want anything. i dont want anything. i am a good dog

[mainapnifavouritehoon]

hi guys i-

#Hey so i wanted to talk about this really bad this has been bothering me for quite some time #i have been busy a lot these days and i dont get time at all to do anything but i can see myself wasting my time just scrolling #I have school and then coaching and then ofc i have to study on my own for which i barely take out time as im highly careless #My last 2 exams went absolute shit and that fucking scares me because i'll be having my JEE soon #Mummy has been telling me to stay away from my phone and ik she trusts me but she but she deserves a daughter that studies ig? #And now i kind of consider that as an option because this phone is very very distracting #I have been thinking about deactivating but i realized it would mean i would lose all my precious posts and interactions #So i wont be deleting this blog as i am too attached (i will be coming back istg) #I will be taking a break and ig thats what yall call a hiatus #I will be giving away my phone to my parents (trust me i have to) #Ik this will be hard for me to just leave all of a sudden so i'll slowly start vanishing if that makes sense? #This message also doesnt mean that i will be shutting down my phone rn at this moment and that this is goodbye #This is just to prepare the people that i love and who love me that i will be highly inactive and not come online for maybe months #This is not an impulsive decisions i have really thought through this #Also just to tell you again MAIN ABHI GAYAB NAHI HONE WAALI BUT THODE TIME MEIN I WILL GO ON A BREAK THIS IS JUST A PRE HIATUS MESSAGE #Also i hope you guys will still love me and remember me once i come back #Because coming months are going to be hard for me #I hope you understand and ily guys okay? #(Oh god why am i so dramatic about everything) xoxo

[winterdusktales]

junhoe sns update category: the boyfriend

#him #hes just so so bf material #maybe junhoe posting once in a blue moon is him showing mercy TO ME #i legit wont survive if he drops pics like this regularly #him deleting the posts is also a sign of mercy sksks #man really knows his audience (me) #junHOE #koo junhoe #ikon #ikonsnet #kpop #malegroupsnet #kactor #jana edits #jana's post

[voidedjuice]

can't tell if im actually unwanted in places or if im just having a weird mental health episode again

#this SUCKS i want OUT #also the way theres nothing that could actually help here #cant ask shouldnt just randomly distance myself from everyone my brain wont let me just chill uwaaagh #text #deleted laters probly i just need 2 vent #maybe if i factory reset by sleeping a full 12 hours ill become normal again

[randomwords247]

Something something among us reference

#this is one of the naturally generating fossils in the overworld in Minecraft #which fun fact. theres overworld ones in the desert and swamp #underground #this one is a head/skull #it looks like an among us #i thought it was neat. idk. im working on something and noticed it #im gonna probably get back to that now #this might also be a hint as to what im working on #idk how long it will take ive realised as ive worked on it today that its a bigger project than i thought #and i went into this expecting it to be decently big #anyway #i wont spoil what it is lol #im gonna get back to it probably. or maybe draw. idk. #minecraft #delete later #randy rambles too much

[clenastia]

i dont know why the running joke of this chapter is kakashi fearing for his kidneys. where did that come from. WHY did that come from.

i should probably cut that in editing it's a little ridiculous.

except it makes me giggle every time so maybe i should leave it there.

#girl's mind fanfic #clena's writing progress #just have to write ONE more conversation and the whole chapter is done. but DAMN if editing wont be a bitch #still wondering if i should cut jiraiya's 3-page infodump #because while most people dont mind #some people keep commenting saying that my fic is too wordy and i keep adding unnecessary things #and like. they're 1% of reviews but i have the emotional fragility of a china teacup #i cry when i get those sorts of reviews and they ruin my day even tho i get twenty comments who love my rambling #but like. also. i shouldnt delete stuff from my fic just for the 1% of assholes who will say mean things about it #but also i dont want to cry when someone inevitably says something mean about it. #most if not all of said assholes are on fanfiction dot net so technically i could just stop cross posting #except there are people on that site who DO like my rambles so #ugh. why am i such an emotionally sensitive crybaby. my life would be so much better #if i didnt have such thin skin #i'm 90% certain that jiraiya's 3-page infodump is going to get LONGER with editing cause i'm gonna turn it from infodump into #an actual conversation. so who knows how many pages it'll be by the end. the chapter's already 6500 words #which is double my average chapter length #and i DO like the info he presents even if it maybe ISNT strictly required for progressing the story. probably only the last paragraph is #ugh. i wish people would just never say mean things ever. then i wouldn't have a problem with anything xD

[doodleodds]

BAM here’s some old train!palace stuff! It’s just thumbnails for a comic i never got around to finalizing,, but yeah i guess its bonus content now lol. now you can see how most of my nonsense starts xD

#i love taking lines from cannon and twisting them to fit my own purposes :) #i also love goro unapologetically getting to say that no! he WONT settle for just changing shido's heart! he still wants to kill this mf!!! #ooOooOOoh but the moral high ground- FUCK THE MORAL HIGH GROUND LET GORO KEEP HIS MURDEROUS TENDENCIES #goro hasn't and won't ever share the pt's morals and he's made it this far. like hell is he gonna squander his kill shot if he gets one #.....anyway i was originally going to end this with a 'just let me do this for you!!' line from goro to akira #like. it went from solely vengance for goro's mother in his head to vengeance for the lives shido made him take (& akira's) as well #so now destroying shido and destroying himself is like pennance almost. which i know isn't a new concept in goro redemption arcs #but like. selfish self destruction just gets me so good sometimes ok???? #anyway yeah uh enough rambling lol. is half of that even connected to this comic? not really but i was thinking about it so there it is lmao #cowardlybean this is mainly for you since you like the au so much ^^;;;; hope it lives up to the rest of it lol #maybe delete later? we'll see

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

whys there so many posts i cant see

#i thought it was just the ones i had liked but it cant be that bc i just went through my likes and these arent there #can see posts in my notifs but when i clikc on it and go to peoples blogs its just not there #like it got deleted but it didnt #too tired to care rn but psa if i dont respond to smth its bc tumblr wont let me #or bc i forgot thats also still always. an option #oh hang on maybe i know #maybe its bc they get tagged with a tag ive blocked and ive got a setting on somewhere that hides blocked tags from me #hang on hang on #we're fixing this

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

the worst part abt watching movies w my parents is when they Dont Get It and so it falls on me to explain it to them, but when i use words that sound smarter than how i usually speak they give me that Look of vague confusion and judgement and it makes everything not fun anymore. this is also the reason for my various undiagnosed mental illnesses and also the fact that i am so heavily in the closet about being trans-

#this post is probably not as funny as i want it to be but at the same time im so srs #i hate when it falls on me to explain the weird things to them . bc i know they Dont Get It #and no amount of poorly worded excuses about why i like a weird thing will make them understand but they still expect me to say it. #and they will Never Get It. #which means i will also never be able to come oit to them comfortably because this is one of those things they wont get ! #and thats ok! but i dont want it to be my responsibility to explain it. because im not as eloquent as i would like to be #and i frequently misspeak and get overwhelmed in conversations like this and nothing ever comes out right. sigh #yes this is about asteroid city but its also about annihilation and spiderverse #and the lego movies and marble hornets and trigun and homestuck and. #most things i enjoy have an overtone of grief or self discovery or coping with things you cant understand #or trying your hardest to live a meaningful life in a world that doesnt understand and is sometimes actively hostile #and i never know how to put that into words that my parents will understand #this post is maybe a little too personal but. sigh. its hittin me pretty hard rn #bc theyre grilling me about why i liked asteroid city so much and all i can say is. shrug emoji #delete later

[iqmmir]

Guys should i make an art acc

#.mimiming ❜ #i probably wont rlly post there only rb my art posts #because i like seeing notifications on this blog :] #also i miss mappipi.. < deleted it for some reason #impulse maybe.. im not sure what was happening back thenn..

[arolesbianism]

So I may or may not have spent a good chunk of my day trying to learn how to look into onis code and while I may not have yet succeeded I will likely keep fucking around with shit tomorrow and if I manage to succeed it'll spell great doom for my sanity as oni becomes the interest I've officially poured the most effort into analyzing

#rat rambles #oni posting #for now I must sleep but hopefully tomorrow Ill figure out how to decompile files #the real question is going to be if Ill be able to do this on my shitty ass laptop or if Ill need to figure smth else out #I just want to be able to view stuff so ideally it won't make my laptop chug too bad but rly Im more worried abt space #I might have to try to do some cleanup and delete some shit maybe Ill go scan through the shit that came pre installed #and hey maybe if I can get this to work I can go mega hacker mode and tweak some stuff for funsies #probably wont since I don't wanna break my game and I dont trust myself but yknow #itd probably help if I actually retained any information from the Two programing classes I took when I was younger but alas #one of them was even specifically a video game programming class and lemme tell you I remember absolutely nothing #also from what little I was able to view without fancy applications I have no new info but I can finally fully put jean in the we 100% know #their last name zone cause while we definitely already 100% did Technically we only got jea- for first name confirmation #but theyre referred to as jean in a note in a bio bot story traits file ty whoever added the notes there #god I hope theres other notes in the files I want to read those so bad #btw this was all spurred by that one nails log that disappeared cause I have found a file that looks like it but I cant fully view it #and I desperately need to view it I need to view it #also if I can look in the code then in theory itll make copying down all the lore logs easier #also the datamining thread of the forums hasnt been particularly active so who knows maybe I can become a proper dataminer #(<- will not do that probably unless it turns out to be easier than I thought) #but admittedly I am interested in hunting for potential future update content even if I probably won't hunt too hard for it #again Im mostly just hunting for lore #hey maybe if Im lucky Ill find some genuinely new and usable information in that department #maybe the secrets of b363 and dr. holland lie in the files ooooo (they probably dont) #man it'd be nice if I had a proper pc itd make my life so much easier and my desk feel less enpty lol #in a world where I get to play videogames at a higher framerate than 10fps #I mean we do have some older computers laying around the house although theyre probably also crusty pieces of shit #idk maybe I can see if I can salvage one itd be nice to have a proper computer to fuck about with #Im sure my mom wouldn't mind as long as its one that hasnt been touched in years #which tbf I dont know how many options thatd leave me but we at least have one computer that could theoretically be usable #albiet its definitely packed with viruses from me and my siblings being dumb kids

[archived-yiptsu]

the VOICES the fucking VOICES /ref

#utmv #<- i fucking guess #i woke up in a COLD SWEAT and i was like hold on. i saw jaelpenaloza-deactivated on the dash is that user available now #and lo and behold #i so badly want to take it and just make some shitpost with it but also i wont #delete later maybe i don't know

[a-libra-writes]

Goal for today is actually write blog posts so i can finally stop staring at codes and variables....... ......

#im so clooooose to finishing 1st chapter of devil's moon but im also sick of it LOL #hubby is dragging me away from the pc #my friend say i talk abt it like im haunted by an scp #CANT REST CANT STOP THE FIXATION WONT LET ME also the asoiaf one is next alfksksksk #im trying to break with tamagotchis maybe beeping screeching digital babies will help #libra says stupid shit #not writing #delete later

[saddlepunk]

NOT having a panic attack at work just having funny lil thoughts i cant get out of my head and a silly little increased heartrats that drove me 2 the bathroom to shiver for a bit. now that its over im all good. i can shove all this stuff down in2 the bad zone and maybe if i ignore all this even HARDER itll go away

#he deleted all the messages before i could respond anyways so #i guess maybe its fine #or it isnt and thatll be a nasty surprise for later #either way i deserve this and if he isnt saying anything abt it anymore then i wont either bc i cant fucking handle it #i wish i was a better person but im not #which is also why i can never move in with anyone i dont sort of think deserves it a little too #which is terrible of me but also goes a long way to proving my point i think? #its fine for me to be terrible because i find myself in terrible situations with people who are bad in the same ways as me #and it just makes everything worse but thats how it should be #if i cant kill myself i SHOULD suffer for it