#i’m sure it’s mostly kids doing this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr’s reach among the 26-to-35-year-olds in the US is 11%.

#i’m sure it’s mostly kids doing this

ttomoba · 1 year

Text

it’s 2023. can we PLEASE stop using the eddsworld casts’ real names for their characters? the characters ≠ equal their real life counterparts they were initially based on!!

please stop tagging your art with the real person’s name, please stop having their full names as your usernames. it is extremely disrespectful, and extremely harming to real people.

thomas ridgewell is NOT tom from eddsworld. tomska and tom are completely separated and tomska has called tom ‘the character tom.’ they are not the same. tomska is no longer associated with eddsworld. respect that.

tord larsson is NOT tord from eddsworld. he left the show a decade plus ago, and there should absolutely be a distinction made. he went completely off the grid. he does not want his name to be used in fanarts of his character. respect that.

i could keep going on for every character, but tom and tord is the most prominent i see in a day to day basis. i see so many kids with profiles that include their full names. it’s disgusting and disrespectful.

additionally, it’s SO easy to just create a different last name headcanon for them. i promise your art will still gain the traction you want even if you just tag it as their first name.

eddsworld fandom, please be better.

#eddsworld #ew #tom eddsworld #tomtord #important psa #i cant believe this is still an issue it’s so disgusting #i’m sure it’s mostly kids doing this #tord #tord larsson #thomas ridgewell

389 notes · View notes

aurumdoesthings · 10 months

Text

what gets me about qifrey is from the beginning I was so charmed by how adoring and nurturing he is of the girls, and his emerging shady behavior was worrying but I still clung to that because EVERY time there was a crisis, he was right there to throw himself in front of his girls and protect them no matter what

so in volume 7 we get both Qifrey’s old mentor and his best friend seeing his shady behavior and doubting him and whether he really cares about his students. I doubted too!! but how does the story resolve these questions??

firmly on the side of Qifrey loves them more than anything and will do whatever he can to protect them! Beldaruit remarks to Olruggio in the end that he was wrong to doubt his dedication to them, and instead should’ve been concerned over his self-destructive tendencies. Olruggio has a quest with Hiehart and Jujy who make him realize when a friend (COUGH qifrey) has two important goals they can’t choose between, instead of having to choose one they should get help to handle both of them! and directly after that he goes to Qifrey and tells him point blank I want to help you, let me help you.

One of Qifrey’s most defining traits to me is that he is a good teacher above all and he protects kids (see: his protectiveness of tartah next volume insisting on walking him home and that worrying over tartah is ‘a part of the package’ with him), and I love him so dearly for that <3

#I’m really pleased that the narrative fell this way with Qifrey #like sure fine if he put his goals over the kids it’d be whatever feel kinda seen it before but instead!!#it goes no WAY bro he adores his students and is even Doing all of that shady stuff because HE WANTS TO KEEP BEING THIS HAPPY W THEM!!!#qifrey still has major issues tho mostly regarding his aforementioned self destructive tendencies and independence #let people!! help you!!! Qifrey you are self sabotaging!!!#anyway details might’ve been slightly off bc I didn’t want to actually pull out my volumes to double check but #simply had to be written bc Qifrey drives me crazy #witch hat atelier #wha #qifrey wha #qifrey #writing #<— I guess

123 notes · View notes

theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 10 months

Text

Whumpers, what are your earliest memories?

Mine is from when I was about two or three. I was in a stroller, at my cousin’s Irish dancing recital. After the recital, my aunts were talking down to me in the stroller, and to each other. I was experiencing extreme anxiety because I couldn’t understand what they were saying, when I felt I should have been able to communicate with them like they were communicating with each other. I was also very tired and dazed. I did not cry though… I probably looked normal on the outside.

I also remember when I was about four or five, I went to the beach with my dad and one of his friends. I somehow found my way onto the dock, planted my little rear end on a jet ski, untethered it from the dock, and started floating into the sunset. There was an old lady lounging in a donut inflatable out some way; she said something to me, but I couldn’t understand what she said, despite trying really hard. I’m assuming it was something along the lines of “Oh my god get off that jet ski you’re going to fucking DIE, kid,” but again… couldn’t understand a word of what she said, and got frustrated because she was speaking English (without an accent) and I should know how to understand adults speaking English to me.

At this point, my dad is yelling at me from across the water, and a young lifeguard drags the jet ski back. On land, my dad lectured at me very harshly as he led me back to the car. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong, and was very confused. At some point this guy starts quoting the Bible at me, and the only thing I could pick out were the words (spoken very emphatically), “Your days are numbered.”

“My days are numbered?” cue a vivid mental image of a calendar, with dates listed for every day of the week, “What does that mean?” Later on I figured out this was the Bible’s way of referencing death at God’s hand which just made me even more confused as to what I did, until at age thirteen, I figured out, “Oh a baby who can’t swim floating on a jet ski is terrifying, actually.”

Tagging: @kaleidoscopr @redd956 @hereissomething @astudyinpanda @c0ldbrains @straight-to-the-pain

#tag game lol #I had a thing with not understanding people very well (or at all) as a child idk if that’s normal kid stuff or what lol #Like you know how in dreams people’s speech is a blur? That was how I (mostly) interacted with the world from ages two to six #My best friend at the time would talk to me a lot (she was a couple years younger) and she was still partly in the “babbling” phase #and couldn’t speak clearly at all #so I just kind of nodded and went along with it despite having no idea what the hell she just said #Which I continued to do with everyone else into adulthood; as soon as someone talks to me I zone out whether I want to or not lol #My life has been a perpetual cycle of: “Why can’t I do that; am I stupid or something?” > studying it intensely > excelling at it #Like humor. No one laughed at my jokes in my first year of public school; so I watched what made people tick…#By the time junior year online English class rolled around I had the teachers and students in stitches almost constantly #Likewise with understanding people: I zone out all the time; but I can quickly replay what I heard in my head and ask a question to verify #if that’s what they said; then give an appropriate response to it #Basically I repeat 70% of what people say to me during conversation to make sure I’m not missing anything #As a result I’m now pretty good at figuring out what people are saying if there are language barriers or speech abnormalities involved #But do NOT give me verbal directions; I can and will forget them the instant you walk away

13 notes · View notes

tenitchyfingers · 4 months

Note

"If youre an anti youre pro cop" youre SO right and you should say it

(Sorry was goin thru the notes on that AITA post and saw ur tags and loved em lol)

I honestly find it completely insane how people can just genuinely believe that drawings and movies can make you do something you wouldn’t do otherwise, but only believe that wrt sexuality. like, what if we all framed the same thing around kindness and selflessness? Those qualities are celebrated and encouraged both in society and in media, yet there are assholes all over the world who might have seen positive media and it didn’t affect them at all. Or like, society has a big problem with murder, and that’s looked down on in media but sometimes it gets justified, and nobody accuses Murder on the Orient Express of encouraging people to go out and do murder. Nobody accuses slasher horror of pushing kids to murder either, not anymore, and matter of fact you have antis who MAKE and LOVE horror stuff, but they see no issue with that. Which means no, fiction does NOT affect reality. In any way, shape or form.

And I think they know it too, they just have some severe psychological issues and instead of actually addressing them they seek out comfort in blaming shit that has actually nothing to do with their real problems. They feel unstable and insecure and sick and in need of control so instead of figuring, “hey, maybe I can control MYSELF” they go around trying to control others. Because looking inward seems to be too hard for some people. And I don’t get it. If fixing a problem with yourself also fixes most problems you have with the world and how you perceive it, WHY wouldn’t you just go into therapy??? I literally do not get it. It’s the healthy and useful thing to do, it solves problems, and it genuinely helps you gaining real friends as opposed to snitch friends. I really do not get it. I haven’t lived like that for such a long time I legit do not remember what the thought process and the emotional process would be.

#appleschloss #replied #frankly I don’t even feel the need to call myself a proshipper #because that is literally just a normal person’s thought process #nobody outside of the internet who’s mentally stable or anyway healing thinks the way they do #it’s just purely all about being terminally online #I’m sure if they had REAL problems they wouldn’t give a shit what dolls people like smashing together #no wonder these are mostly kids btw #btw*#they literally never actually experienced an actual problem in their life #vent post

4 notes · View notes

tequatls-favorite-spoon · 1 year

Note

[@sunsrefuge] Re: your tags about Onyx & Aurene; it sounds like their relationship develops very slowly but interestingly!! reading your tags on Onyx’s conflicted feelings about her being a dragon but also so innocent was a super good read!! <3

would you maybe wanna share more on how their relationship develops over the course of the story?? 👉👈 Are there any moments you’ve written in for them to bond extra??

AH TYYYYY!!! i love thinking about onyx and aurene i love them sm

ok so ngl, i kinda. just came up with that stuff? like, as i was typing on that post lol. but anyway, i do have more thoughts to ramble about!!!

so first off i think onyx’s caution comes from her having seen the worst of the dragons so far. so many people died to mordremoth and zhaitan, and so she’s determined to destroy every last one, both as revenge and bc she’s lost people close to her, with trahearne being INCREDIBLY recent. (onyx was in love with him and i haven’t decided if they got together before he died) she doesn’t want anyone else to go through what she has.

so she has a lot of reservations and is currently going thru a lot, but also aurene is just a baby! she’s so little and curious and sweet, and onyx doesn’t really know what to think at first. like i think she was surprised when aurene hatched that she was so… little. so fragile. so innocent. mordremoth’s magic caused her to hatch, but how can something that’s so small be just like the monsters she’s faced?

she isnt like mean to her tho. she treats her like, cordially at first, bc she knows that having aurene on their side is good practically and strategically, but then she gets Attached. having the telepathic connection helped a lot too! i think onyx could feel aurene’s general emotions a lot, like when she was having fun or how much she cared about onyx

i think onyx stopped by to see aurene more than in canon? like i’m pretty sure you only go to do the tests and stuff in game, but i think onyx liked to go and just. be there with aurene. like holding her in her lap as aurene slept and stuff. she probably said that she wanted to keep a close eye on her just in case, but i think she used a lot of this time to process trahearne tbh.. she’d sit there petting aurene, and just thinking. (probably also crying tbh)

it didn’t take very long for onyx to think of herself and aurene as mother and daughter. like i think she realized that she felt that way before pof. but i don’t think that onyx has like. verbalized that to aurene? like i think aurene kinda knows cuz of the whole mental link thing, but i think onyx doesn’t want to overstep. like, glint is aurenes mom! absolutely! but. she didn’t get to raise her, onyx did. but at the same time, she doesn’t want aurene to like. forget glint? (kinda a side note, but now i’m just thinking about caithe telling aurene about glint and agh my heart ;-;)

still, onyx feels like aurene and her are family, no matter what. now, i haven’t actually finished eod yet (i am on the last bit i know i should just finish it but also i changed onyx’s hair to look accurate while i finally play lws1 and i don’t want to use my statuettes on more hair kits :/ ) but! i’ve seen some of aurene and soo-won’s dialogue after the dragons end meta! and i think aurene feels lonely? cuz she’s the last elder dragon, the last of her kind. onyx’s heart breaks when she feels that from aurene. because she can imagine how painful that must be! (and also feel it from aurene…) but at the same time, i think onyx is going to want to sit down with aurene for a bit, maybe hold her head in her lap as best she can, and tell her that she will never be alone as long as onyx can help it. onyx and caithe are her moms and they love her! and onyx really wants aurene to know that!!! she may be big and sparkly and powerful now, but she’s still onyx’s baby, her daughter, and onyx will do whatever she can to be there for her.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #aurene #onyx velazquez #my writing #kinda? whatever it counts lol #idk if this actually answered the question much lol but hey #i just took it as a chance to think and ramble about onyx and aurene :)#like i hadn’t thought about onyx feeling conflicted about aurene at first until today!#but MAN do i love it #i also think caithe and onyx talked a lot during those visits to aurene #onyx was pretty quick to forgive her #(maybe mostly cuz she was too tired to care about it at that point)#honestly i’m kinda playing with the idea of onyx/caithe? but i’m not sure lol #i’m also playing with the idea that onyx gets aurene to brand her eventually #like so that onyx doesn’t die? and can be there with aurene past a normal human lifespan #idk tho #i think it depends on stuff like what kind of family she might have someday #like if she marries somebody and has kids #but also idk if she’d want kids anyway! tho if she did she would absolutely count aurene as the oldest #again! that’s her daughter!!! her darling baby girl!!!!#but yeah i think onyx and caithe both being branded and being aurenes moms forever sounds really cute #so i’m Thinking about it #then again i feel like who i ship onyx with changes based on who’s currently involved in the story #cuz she has cute moments with braham and then she has cute moments with caithe and then there’s yao suddenly and #i’m indecisive #and onyx has inherited that from me

4 notes · View notes

that-house · 4 months

Text

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.