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#i'm all over the place lmao
tusks-and-claws · 11 months
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The Death of Peace of Mind
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Miguel O’hara x female reader
Summary: "I miss the way you say my name/the way you bend, the way you break"
You think your fearless leader needs help relaxing, but another door is opened entirely
Tags/warnings: smut (18+), oneshot, fingering, blowjob, pronebone, blood, biting, unprotected sex, paralytic venom, dominant Miguel, dirty talk, God there’s so much to list : )
Word count: 3.3k 
Can also be found on Ao3 here. Please give it some love if you enjoyed ;_;
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"I know better than this, I shouldn't be… we shouldn't be doing this."
Miguel O'Hara sat at the edge of your bed, your room softly illuminated by a candle on the bedside table. He liked the dark. His back was to you, his broad shoulders slumped forward, as you had your back against your headboard. He was still in his suit, his mask off.
"Miguel…" you said, starting this conversation again for the umpteenth time. "You have needs, too, y'know." 
He waved a hand dismissively. "What are my needs when compared to all this?" He gestured to nothing. You weren't even at HQ. You were both in your dimension. A vacation, you had said. You could never get him to leave HQ for long. "I know what happens when I try to get what I want. When I go where I don't belong."
You furrowed your brow. "But you do belong here, I invited you."
"You know exactly what I mean." He spoke quickly. Trying to expel the words as fast as possible. 
Your arms crossed over your chest as you eyed him. He'd been through a lot, yes, but what Spider hadn't? How long was he going to keep ignoring himself for the greater good? What purpose would he serve if he tore himself apart? 
"You're right," you said, finally. 
"What?" He asked, peering over his shoulder to look at you, incredulous. 
"You're right," you repeated. "You can leave."
"I… well. I suppose I can leave. Do you… want me to?"
You suppressed a smile. "I don't really care," you lied. 
"You…?" He turned around at that, hands on the bed as he swiveled his torso to meet your eyes. "You can't be serious. I- I made the effort to make sure Jess could cover me so we could come here, I… it's a huge waste of time. You see that, don't you?" 
"I guess so." It was hard for you to break eye contact with him, but you managed to do it, and stared pointedly out the window. 
"You 'guess,' I can't-" he rubbed his face with his hands. "You're so frustrating, I can't read you, you-" 
Your face broke, betraying you, a smirk cracking your façade.
He narrowed his eyes, fully turning around now, bringing his knees up onto the bed to crawl to you. His claws came out, and they pulled at the threads of your comforter, threatening to tear holes. "Is this what you want? You want to make me mad?" 
You blushed as he made his way to you, his sudden intensity stirring you into silence. 
"Well?" He asked. "Suddenly so quiet." He reached you now, looming over you with both hands on the headboard on either side of you, his muscular thighs straddling your legs. His huge frame took up your whole vision, his presence overwhelming your heightened senses. Heat was radiating from his body. His scent washed over you. He was all clean musk and warmth and something deeper, something primal. It played to your baser mind, telling you to lose control and give in. 
You swallowed. "You have no need to stay here." You weren't done teasing him just yet. 
"But you have need, hm?" He looked down to study your form, releasing his hands from the headboard to touch the hem of your shirt. "Don't you?"
You held your breath, nodding.
"Say it." His tone was casual. Flippant.
Your breath left you as your lips parted to speak, the words far from you as your brain grew foggy. He always liked to hear you admit how much you wanted it, how much you wanted him. And he always asked you when he knew you'd struggle to form a response. 
"Yes." It was the only thing your brain made abundantly clear. Yes. Yes, you have needs. Yes, in this moment, he was one of them. 
"Yes what?"
How cruel. Under his gaze for this long, intense and bloodshot, you grew more flustered and delirious. 
"Yes, Miguel, I have need of you." You impressed yourself with the eloquence of your reply. 
"Oh? Oh, do you?" His hands finally moved again, snaking under the bottom of your shirt, the fabric of his suit keeping your skin from touching his. "That's kind of selfish of you, isn't it?"
You nodded, biting your bottom lip and closing your eyes as his hands moved to firmly hold the sides of your waist, thumbs stroking soft skin. He was being careful to not scratch you. Though his claws were retractable, you noticed throughout your encounters that he had a hard time keeping them hidden when his passions were running high. But part of you didn't care if he marked you up. Part of you wanted to keep something from him. Something more than awkward passing glances and intimate encounters that were few and far between. 
"M-Miguel?"
"Mm? What is it?"
"You don't need to be gentle, y’know."
His gaze flicked to meet yours as he raised an eyebrow. He seemed amused. 
"It's just that," for some reason, you felt the need to elaborate. "I'm strong, too. I can handle it. You've been so stressed."
"So… you want me to use you?" His voice was low and level. 
Use. The word sent a shock up your spine. He could see the emotions flashing across your face, the thoughts of him, of what he might do to you. Was this safe? Could he control himself? He'd have to. You'd just have to trust him. 
You released a breath you hadn't noticed you were holding, meeting him in his bloodshot eyes. "Yes. Please."
He grinned, bearing his pearly fangs in the flickering candlelight. The fog in your head grew thicker at the sight of them. Would he bite you with them? How would they feel against your skin? How would they feel piercing you? Would it hurt? Would it-
The feeling of his bare forefinger, claw retracted, gently teasing your slit quickly shut you up. When did he move his hand under the hem of your shorts? You were so deep within your own clouded thoughts, you hadn't even noticed. He caressed you there before carefully plunging his finger into your heat. The feeling was immediately maddening. You bit your lip to keep yourself from asking for more, for another finger, for his mouth, for his- no. You were following his pace. This was what you wanted, yes, but it was mostly for him. You somehow knew that he needed this more than you did, though he'd never admit it.
The whole time, he kept his reddened eyes on your face, studying every reaction. "You're wet, you're so wet…." His voice was quiet. "So, this is what does it for you, huh?" He pumped his finger at a steady pace. You could hear the wet sounds he elicited with his efforts. You braced yourself on his hulking shoulders, preparing for him to quicken at any moment. But he was agonizingly slow. His free hand gripped the headboard above you as he leaned down to whisper into your ear. "Me, your leader, using you." There was that word again. You lightly arched your back into him upon hearing it, trying to keep yourself calm for now. Falling apart could come later. "I try so hard to hold it all together. But you… you threaten me. The looks you give me, your smiles, your smell, estoy cachondo, fuck." Your eyes widened. He only spoke Spanish when his emotions were heightened. He was unraveling. 
Good.
He slipped his digit out from inside of you and circled your clit with a slick fingertip. The feeling was intense and electric, and even though you were still half-pinned by his muscular thighs, your upper body curled into him. "Seeing you like this…" he swallowed, his heartbeat quickening. "Rendering you helpless… It's revenge for how you make me feel when you look at me the way you do. If I can make you feel half of that… that might be enough. You're going to come for me. Feel what I feel." 
You nodded fervently, unable to speak under his attention, his words, his touch. That delicious, warm feeling was building up and coiling in your core as he kept expertly circling your clit, until the coil finally snapped and you came, lifting up off of the bed and throwing your arms around his neck as you whimpered. Miguel continued as you rode it out, reveling in the newfound wetness that came with your orgasm, until you finally settled down, your heart still thumping in your chest. You released your hold of him, your arms weak, your gaze heavy. He seemed to match your labored breathing, his chest rising and falling in time with yours. You had hardly even touched him and he seemed as much of a mess as you were. 
He stared at you like that for a brief moment, seemingly awestruck at your reaction to this newly opened door. 
"God, I need… I need your mouth around my cock." He flipped unceremoniously off of you to lay on his back at your side. "Come here." Before you had time to react, he had a hand on your head, guiding you downward. Despite the forceful movement, he fondly scratched at your scalp with bare fingers, his hand shaking just enough for you to notice. You positioned yourself so your head rested on his hard abdominals while you admired the display he brought you down to see. His hard cock pushed against his nearly metallic suit. The sheen of the fabric left almost nothing to the imagination. You could see his thick shaft, prominent veins like rivers flowing over a landscape, all leading up to the bulbous head. He twitched eagerly as he sighed, trying to calm his heart. 
You reached your hand up to touch Miguel through his suit, and his reaction was bodily. He hissed a breath in through clenched teeth. You played with his hard length, running the flat of your palm up and down the underside of his shaft, until he couldn't take it anymore. He seemed to be able to dismiss parts of his suit at will, and he did just that, creating an opening so he could spring free. It was always an impressive sight, sizable and thick. His golden skin slightly red with anticipation at the head of his cock, soft dark waves of short hair at the base. Reaching up, you gently held it. You couldn't quite wrap your whole hand around it. He exhaled at your touch, skin on skin. The hand he had in your hair gently pushed your head until your waiting lips met the tip of his cock, and you accepted it, closing your mouth around it.
Miguel threw his head back, slamming it against the headboard and shaking the two of you on the bed. The sound startled you, but you knew the headboard would've taken more damage than Miguel. He gave no indication that he was hurt, and so you kept going, sucking on the tip of his cock and being as noisy as possible so it would overwhelm that heightened hearing of his. And overwhelm it did. The soft, wet heat of your mouth was nearly too much for him. And as you started to take him deeper, he reached his arms up and behind him, taking the headboard into a vice grip. You could hear the wood splintering. 
That should've worried you, you should've cared about your furniture being destroyed. But you didn't. You couldn't, not with Miguel O'Hara melting underneath you. He could destroy a thousand bed frames. So long as you could touch him, could hear him moaning, could watch him as he barely held his composure. This would always be worth it. 
You took him further into your mouth, humming around his length at the pleasant,  full feeling. You were slow, holding him there, savoring the taste of him and the weight of him on your tongue.
"M-move-" he croaked.
You turned your gaze towards his face, raising an eyebrow. He was straining. Muscles bulging, chest heaving, fangs displayed in clenched teeth. You could see the prominent cracks in the wood.
"Move your shocking head, amor."
His hands came down to tangle with your hair, grabbing handfuls so he could move your head for you. You happily let him, and he bobbed you up and down on his shaft as you opened your throat to him. 
"Oh, fuck, yes… that's it. Good girl. You're- you're taking me so fucking well." 
Your eyes started rolling into the back of your head fondly. Good girl. He'd never called you that before. You'd be good for him. You'd be so good. 
The sounds coming from you were the very definition of lewd, as were the strands of thick saliva that connected you to him. You closed your eyes, continuing to breathe through your nose, when you felt something prick your scalp. His claws. In and out, in and out. He was struggling to keep control of them.
"Ay, coño, I can't fucking do this." His voice barely a whisper. "You're gonna," he paused, swallowing. "You're gonna make me lose control, you know that?" Despite his words, he kept going, kept moving your head, even started to thrust his hips up to fuck your throat more thoroughly. His moans turned into what could only be described as growls, and the sound of them hit you like an electric shock, making you want him even more. If that were even possible. 
His claws kept scraping you, threatening to fully unsheath. But Miguel never let them. He finally let your head go, bringing his hands up to his face and rubbing it in exhaustion. You stayed on his cock for a moment longer, carefully lifting your head away and disconnecting from him with a wet pop.
He groaned to himself through his hands. 
"Miguel…? You alright?"
"No." He finally said, "no, I'm fucking not."
You cocked your head in surprise at the response, opening your mouth to question him further until you were cut off by him quickly grabbing you and positioning you underneath him. He was pinning your legs again, but you were faced down this time, your cheeks pressed against the soft sheets as he pushed you into the mattress. He finally let his claws out, and with one swift movement, tore your shorts and panties into ribbons. In that moment, you were glad he couldn't see your face. You were grinning like an idiot. Finally. You're finally seeing the side of him that you always knew was there. That you desperately wanted him to let out. Your previous encounters had been tame compared to this. He'd been holding back. 
"Because now," he grabbed your waist with both of his large hands, holding firm. "Now I know that you like being treated like a little fucktoy. I know that you'll be good for me and that you'll listen. What a rarity." He started to line up the tip of his cock with your entrance. "And if I thought you took up too much space in my head already, well-" he chuckled, pushing his tip into your pussy. "I'll never have peace of mind again."
He thrusted into you, and you were immediately seeing stars. With each pump, he took himself nearly all the way out of your warmth before plunging all the way back in. You could feel every delicious, hot inch of him. So deep and so filling. He fucked you into the mattress so thoroughly and so hard that you were convinced a crater was forming underneath the both of you. You felt the sharp points of his claws pricking your skin but not quite puncturing you. Your head swam as you grew dizzy. 
He released your waist, left hand steadying himself on the low headboard, which was bound to break again. His right arm snuck up underneath your right arm, reaching around your collarbone to grab at your left shoulder, pulling you up so you were close into him. His chest was flush with your back. You reached up to hold onto that arm for dear life, as he brought his mouth down to your ear. 
"Wanna bite you so bad, amor," he growled. "You smell so shocking good. Drivin' me up a fucking wall."
"Do it," you said, your voice strained.
"Wh-what?" His pace wavered. "You can't mean that."
"I- fuck- I do. Bite me, Miguel. Please."
"Are you," he exhaled a shaky breath. "Are you sure? It's a paralytic venom. I've- I've used it on Spiders before and we can withstand it a bit, but, shit… I need you to know what you're getting into." 
"Do it," you said again. 
His entire body shook against you. "Unbelievable…." His voice sounded reverent. "Hold on tight."
You listened, gripping his arm harder, shutting your eyes. His mouth came down to meet the crook of your neck. He inhaled, letting your scent wash over him, before carefully sinking his fangs into your skin. The pain was sharp and fast, and was quickly replaced with a wave of warmth and laxity. Your muscles loosened, allowing him to easily pull you in even closer. He moaned against you, his thrusts quickening, his cock feeling like it was hitting your cervix. With every smack of his skin against yours, he buried himself to the hilt. That incredible, intense feeling was building within you again, deep inside your core.
"Fuck," he hissed into your skin, releasing his jaws and lapping at the light trickle of crimson blood. "Good girl, good girl, I've got you."
He held you and didn't let go, caging you against his huge form, fucking you until that feeling turned into a huge sunburst that sent spots across your vision. Your body trembled involuntarily as you clenched around his cock. 
"Yes," he encouraged, "yes, come for me. Give it all to me. I've got you, bebé."
You smiled against the venom, and he was right, it wasn't too potent in your system. It was just enough to comfortably loosen your muscles. You came down from your high as he kept pumping into you, his pace merciless. His body started to shake again, his right hand's grip on your left shoulder tightening. 
“Too much for me to handle,” he rasped. “I’m gonna come… gonna come inside you.”
“Yes,” you croaked, finding your voice and gaining back enough control of your muscles to push yourself up into him. 
His tempo stuttered as he slammed his hips into you, curling against you as he came. His cock twitched inside of you, spilling hot seed in thick spurts. He held you there for a long while, savoring the feeling of being inside you, like he knew he'd miss the warmth once it was gone. Despite what he wanted, he let go of you and flipped onto his back beside you, placing a hand over his heart as his chest heaved. He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. Silently reaching for you, he pulled you in so you could rest against his chest, your head rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. He stroked your hair as you stared up at him, his face glowing in the yellow shine of candlelight. 
"That…" he started to say, then stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I…. I needed that." 
You smiled, nuzzling into him. "Thank you." 
"You're thanking me?" He asked, laughing at how ridiculous it sounded. 
"Yeah," you said. "I feel like I finally saw Miguel tonight. Not Spider-Man. But Miguel. And I really like him." 
He rolled his eyes but still smiled, petting your head until you fell asleep on him.
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jewvian · 4 months
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I think it's time for the goyim to understand this huge detail :) these two movements mask their inner antisemitism by claiming to be Jewish/for Jews/whatever lies they come up with daily to appear friendly to actual Jewish individuals. None of them represents actual Jews, in fact it makes most of us feel unsafe whenever these groups are brought up. Don't get fooled by any of them!
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zahra-hydris · 2 months
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When the Interrogator straightens and looks at you, you notice an unusual detail for the first time - his eyes are different colours. With a nod, he steps away and heads for the door.
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svtskneecaps · 26 days
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ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it
and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain
and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen
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like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that
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bleaksqueak · 1 month
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While i work I've been listening to an LP of the Telltale Walking Dead Games (the ones with clementine, I do not care about the others lmao). Ages ago when I played these I was well aware/amused that part of season 2 takes place in Parker's Crossroads/Parker's Run because I grew up right next to it and the detail stood out to me. But I never caught the line of "We'll head to parker's run. It's just up the road from here" until just right now. So I had a sort of "wait, where the fuck are they supposed to be right now?" (search)
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ARE YOU SHITTING ME LMAO So by process of elimination, since it's the only city with anything even remotely resembling a large home supply store, that would mean they're in my literal hometown. My tiny hometown in the middle of nowhere that's never in anything that barely anyone knows of. How in the fuck lmao
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emyn-arnens · 2 years
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@fantasysociety​ game 5 | quotes | the fellowship of the ring
“Of course, I have sometimes thought of going away, but I imagined that as a kind of holiday, a series of adventures like Bilbo’s or better, ending in peace. But this would mean exile, a flight from danger into danger, drawing it after me. And I suppose I must go alone, if I am to do that and save the Shire. But I feel very small, and very uprooted, and well—desperate. The Enemy is so strong and terrible.”
He did not tell Gandalf, but as he was speaking a great desire to follow Bilbo flamed up in his heart—to follow Bilbo, and even perhaps to find him again. It was so strong that it overcame his fear: he could almost have run out there and then down the road without his hat, as Bilbo had done on a similar morning long ago.
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hazelnut-u-out · 4 months
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Just coincidentally, I was talking to @dirty-bear-rick-sanchez, and he mentioned the fact that Evil Morty had a ‘Chekov’s Gun’. As soon as I saw the words, my brain immediately made some connections based on the events of ‘Rickmurai Jack’, ‘Full Meta Jackrick’, and ‘Unmortricken.’ 
First of all, I remembered making this post about the metaverse goggles in ‘Full Meta Jackrick.’ In the post, I was talking more about the device labeled ‘Foreshadowing’, which I thought could potentially show up in the future and make the glimpse we get of it in that episode a fun easter egg. Now, my focus is on how the devices and their labels coincide with the events of ‘Unmortricken.’ 
Let’s look at the Devices pictured: 
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We have Checkov’s Guns, Foreshadowing, Ticking Clock, and Action Enhancer. (There are other devices that can be seen in the scene that are difficult to read. The one in the corner is labeled ‘Gratuitous Violence’.) Thinking about the events that took place in the Prime fight, these things may have come into play. While we didn’t see the exact Foreshadowing device pictured used in the fight, it did pique my interest that the device seems to be pointed at the Chekov’s Guns display. The Ticking Clock being placed above the Foreshadowing device also made me realize just how much that parallels the use of the Omega Device as it’s shown in ‘Unmortricken’.  Think about it… The reveal of the Omega Device is already being used as a method of Foreshadowing, Slow Mobius was lowered into the Omega Device from above while using his powers to slow the moment down (hence, Ticking Clock being a device used to create suspense), and at the end– when handed over to Evil Morty– the schematics become a Chekov’s Gun with a promise to return. Their placements parallel the events of the fight scene, even down to the blatant Gratuitous Violence! (I’ll admit, I don’t have an obvious placement for Action Enhancer yet, unless you count the Kill Bot drones/giant Diane Bots… I guess Evil Morty does ride one like a motorcycle!)
You don't show an Omega Device without erasing someone important to the audience from infinity, if you know what I mean.
I was having a lot of thoughts, and some of these branched off into different connections about Evil Morty and his exit, especially with the previous assumption/symbolism in mind. He looks at Rick and says the following: 
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2 things I thought of:
1.) This feels like a threat, not just an exit.  It makes a lot of sense to interpret this as a future promise of betrayal. The fact that Evil Morty has to remind Morty Prime that they’re not friends makes me think he could come back to specifically stab Morty Prime (or Mortys) in the back, especially since he tends to dislike ‘sellout’ Mortys. Saying he could ‘use’ Rick for being ‘different’ makes me wonder if ‘ending the Rick Experiment’ could be synonymous with putting himself or another Morty in the Omega Device and eliminating the toxic relationship between Ricks and Mortys for good. Does acknowledging Rick is ‘different’ and useful imply that Evil Morty could use another life for leverage using the Omega Device in the future to get C-137 to do what he wants? (Not sure he’d erase himself since he references the vengeful Summers thing, but who knows?)
The events of ‘Full Meta Jackrick’ support this sub-theory, as well. Another post I made after the airing of ‘Full Meta Jackrick’ (here) talked about how I suspected Mr. Twist’s interaction with Morty (where he acknowledges Morty is the plot twist) might have actual weight to it.
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If you remember, one of the BIG moments of ‘Full Meta Jackrick’ was this one right here: 
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I think Rick emphasizing the importance of Morty’s existence is major foreshadowing. Not to mention, Rick tries to ban Morty from accompanying him to the Prime fight. More acknowledgment that Morty is very important to Rick. Being able to tie all of these elements back to a single episode AND Evil Morty’s arc would work quite well in terms of storytelling. 
2.) What is the ‘Rick Experiment’? I think that the Rick Experiment might just be Morty’s existence. Especially since we know our Rick was a founding father of the Citadel/Curve, it seems plausible that Mortys would be the central ‘Rick Experiment’ (created to be the perfect sidekick; obey them; keep them company; hide their brain waves; prove they could create life across infinity when the Omega Device can destroy it; and– for C-137 and others– there’s the added benefit in the search for Prime). I’ve even wondered who Ricks are trying to hide their brainwaves from while on the CFC, and I think that who might’ve been Prime. This theory would explain why Rick is holding Morty so triumphantly in that photo in Birdperson’s house in ‘Get Schwifty’ AND how Rick knew a Morty baby in general. 
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We have to keep in mind that Evil Morty not only told our Morty about the Morty Trade in the first place, but also that he's probably the most knowledgeable (outside of C-137 or what's left of the Council) about the Morty Trade/ Rick Experiment in general, whatever that turns out to be.
This was essentially me throwing theories at a wall to see what sticks, so all of this could be nothing! Just some big food for thought, lol.
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majestic-salad · 19 days
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Missing blaseball o'clock have a garages cover <3
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blueberrybanee · 1 month
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Holy fucking fuck guys. New Bad Batch episode today, AND It's the 15th anniversary of Cad Bane's first appearance?!?! We stay winning
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disfrutalakia · 6 months
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Also let me spill some crazy theories that will never come through about whatever the fuck this thing is. It was only posted on the portuguese account, so it's probably relating to some brazilian lore.
It's either something about what's going on with Cellbit (puzzle, mystery etc) or with Forever. My current guess is that it will reveal a puzzle piece everyday, until we have a complete picture of where in the nether Forever is
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khytal · 10 days
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my cat when she gets a new tiny plush toy
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wikiangela · 6 months
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fuck it friday
tagged by @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 💖
this time a bit more of the cheating fic - istg normally I'm not a big fan of those but this is soooo much fun to write haha (especially this buck, idk, i'm having a blast haha)
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“Wha- Where-” Eddie mumbles, confused, and Buck panics even more. Does Eddie not remember? That would be- worse, probably. Then he’d absolutely have to tell him, and he’s not ready for that conversation. Buck’s eyes are glued to the ceiling, but he feels Eddie moving off of him, propping himself up into a sitting position, his weight and warmth disappearing from Buck’s chest. He doesn’t immediately miss it. He swears he doesn’t. “Oh, fuck.” Eddie whispers after a moment, and the way his voice sounds so shocked and horrified, it’s safe to say he remembers. Or he figured it out, what with both of them being naked in bed and all that.
“Mhm. Well said.” Buck swallows hard, and licks his lips, and then he remembers getting to taste Eddie last night, got to kiss him, got to trace his lips all over his body, and- is he on fire right now? How is it this hot in here? He needs a cold shower. He needs to- he doesn’t want to, but he needs to scrub Eddie off of himself. Well, he does want to. He has to want to.
“We, um-”
“Yep.” Buck doesn’t let him finish. “That happened.”
“Shit.” Eddie exhales loudly, completely moving away and sitting up, making sure to take enough covers to cover himself from the waist down, but not too much so that Buck is still covered too – as if they didn’t see it all already. Buck still doesn’t look at him. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean- I mean, it’s not like I didn’t want to.” he rushes to correct himself, and Buck just needs him to shut up and not make this worse. He can’t hear that Eddie wanted him. Though maybe that makes this whole thing better? (...) “I just didn’t want it to happen like this. I’m sorry.” he repeats, and Buck can see him shake his head out of the corner of his eye.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @loserdiaz @underwater-ninja-13 @hippolotamus @eowon @jeeyuns @disasterbuckdiaz @forthewolves @hoodie-buck @giddyupbuck @lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @fortheloveofbuddie @jesuisici33
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hirazuki · 7 months
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I finally got around to working out my full-body design for Námo!
The second image is inspired by a scene in this lovely fic by @melkors-defense-attorney, which is hands down the most adorable, wholesome, precious Námo scene I have ever read ♡
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forestgreenlesbian · 1 month
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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svtskneecaps · 2 months
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
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cdelphiki · 3 months
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All thoughts of baby furniture left his mind when he heard a knock at his door, not ten minutes later. Jason’s eyes darted down to Matt, who was still peacefully asleep on the pillow on the floor next to him, where he’d chosen to sit. 
Carefully and quietly, Jason got to his feet and set the booklet down, then grabbed his gun off the end table next to his couch. 
Very, very soon he’d need to purchase some good gun safes to keep those in, so little hands couldn’t get ahold of them. 
Silently, Jason crossed the room and paused at his front door. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come over, and literally everyone was great at texting him first. 
Because he was jumpy, as everyone said. 
With one quick glance back at Matthew, who was still sound asleep, Jason leaned forward and looked through his peephole. 
Then sighed. 
Loudly. 
“Who told you,” Jason said, after he unlocked his door and swung it open. 
Bruce smiled his stupid dumb smile and said, “Hello Jason,” as he held a damn gift back out for Jason to take. 
“Yeah, hi. Who told you? Babs or Damian?” 
“Damian,” Bruce said, still holding the gift out. 
“I’m going to kill him,” Jason grumbled as he took the bag so Bruce would stop looking stupid. 
Because Bruce was an asshole, he pushed his way past Jason into the apartment as he said, “No you won’t.” 
“I’ll maim him,” Jason said, “I will. I told him not to tell you.” 
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