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edenjohansson · 1 year

Text

Chapter 2

fifty shades of Red

Natasha's pov :

"Nat wake up. Tony wants everyone down in 10 minutes"

When I heard Clint I groaned in my pillow. I turned my head to look at my clock. 7am. Seriously Tony?

I sit up on the edge of my bed. I grab an elastic and make a bun with my hair. I stand up and walk through the campus to the kitchen. Everyone is already here.

Afficher davantage

"Hi Natasha. Coffee?" ask Steve when I sit on a chair around the table.

"Yes. Thank"

Wanda is sitting next to me, Vision with her. Steve came with my black coffee and sat in front of me. I started drinking when Tony came and sat with us.

"So? Why are we up so early?" Steve ask.

"Two things. One good one less good. Which one first?"

"Bad first" Bruce says with his eyes on the digital board.

"Ok. We have a mission. We find corpses drained of their blood. I know it's like a scary movie with mythical creatures but I have to examine the body"

Mythical creatures? Likes vampire, werewolf, witch?

"Seriously? And how do we know how we killed these types of monsters?" I ask sarcastically "I mean, we never faced these types of enemies before so what? We have to read Twilight to understand who they are?"

Tony laughed at my intervention. I smiled as well with Steve and Sam.

"No, no need to read Twilight. Today we're just going to inspect the body" Tony adds "After the results of DNA we can start to learn about them maybe"

"Well what about the good news then?"

"We are having a party tonight. Our new inverter is gonna be there so "good behavior" everyone"

Tony looked at Thor who had already started to dance and at Sam and Steve who talked about drinking. It's 8 in the morning and they already plan on getting drunk.

"So get ready in one hour if you want to come " Tony finally said.

I stood up and started walking back to my room. I chose simple clothes, it's not like we are going to fight today, it's just an examination. I change my hair and do a simple ponytail.

I take my phone with me and a sweater in case I'm cold outside.

I already have my dress for tonight. A white one. Simple but elegant.

***

We arrived at the crime scene. It's in the middle of a park. There are 3 corpses on the ground. They look so pale like they were dead a long time ago.

"You can touch but not move the body for now" says a medical examiner.

Tony, Bruce, Steve and I walked towards them.

"Look. There is a mark on their neck. Two tiny holes" I say to the boys.

"What the actual hell is that?" Tony asks as he removes the shirt of the men in front of us. A mark on his sternum. Two swords. Like a small tattoo but made with blood.

Bruce starts to collect DNA on the neck of the victims.

"It's like a symbol. A clan symbol maybe?" I say to Tony confused.

"I have never seen this before. Look"

Bruce starts cutting the arm of the body. Nothing happen.

"Yes and?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

"And see, there is no blood. The creature who did that drinks every drop of blood"

"Maybe there were more than one" I tried as I pushed the hair away from the neck of the only girl's body. She seems to be pretty with her blonde hair but right now she looks like a ghost.

It was the first time that we have to deal with these kind of murderers. We are gonna need the help of experts because right now we don't even know where to begin.

"I finish my collect. We can go now"

It was 3p.m by now when we arrived at the campus again. Bruce and Tony walked directly in the lab, Steve and I decided to go trained a little before the party.

I changed into sports shorts and a simple top. Steve was running when I arrived. I decided to only do cardio today.

After 2 hours of intense training we stopped and took a break. I turned back for one second to grab my bottle of water when I heard Steve say one thing.

"Let's see if you can win a fight against me"

"Seriously? Right now?"

"What? Afraid?"

"Oh never against you ! But I had one thing"

Steve looked at me confused. This is going to be fun.

"If I win, you have to date someone tonight"

Steve started smiling at me.

"Ok well If I win..." He looked at me with this look in his eyes. You know which one. "You have to date our new investor tonight"

Wait. What?

No he's joking right?

"What? No no, I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl!"

"Does it matter?"

Well. No actually but still, I mean, if they are 60 years old ?! Tony said that they invested over a billion in the company so how is it possible to be young with this amount of money in their bank account?

"Don't think too much Nat, it's just one night and if you win you don't even have to think about it at all"

"Okay"

We placed ourselves in the ring. I have to win. Steve attacked me so fast that I had to throw myself on the ground to avoid his punch. Ok he's really not joking. He wants to win.

He attacked me a second time and I avoided it too but I start to feel the 2 hours of entertainment weaken me quickly.

"You can't avoid every move Nat"

He doesn't even breathe loudly. For him it means nothing.

"I know I know"

I convinced myself that I can move faster than him because he's taller than me. My strategy is simple : don't. loose.

I start walking around him, I want him to concentrate less on my movement, he has to be focused only on my feet and where I'm gonna move. In one second his eyes are on the ground and I attack. Fast and precise. Shock and surprise appears on his face. I was about to push him right in the face when Tony walked into the training place. I stopped as I walked away from Steve, a smirk on my face.

"Hopefully for you, Tony saved you Cap" I say to Steve walking back to my stuff.

"It's almost 6p.m. You have to be ready within 2 hours of the party. Don't forget"

Tony walked away and I was ready to do the same when I turned myself to Steve.

"Who wins?"

"We can say that we lose together so we have to date together tonight"

Oh dear God

"As you wish Cap but no obligation. If it's too complicated or something we don't, ok?"

"Deal"

I smiled at him and joined my room to shower first. I sweat a lot so I washed my hair too.

The evening's gonna be fun.

#fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff #belladonna #vampire #smut

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girlvinland · 1 year

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For Mercurio, glance, formal, hair, favorite, and change!

Thank you Honey for all these asks, I'm gonna try to get through them when I get chances! I'll probably put all of them under read more bc I get longwinded lol

glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?

Well, excluding the hat since that's not really a feature (although they're often wearing it), probably their hair in general. It's very curly, and even if it's not long, it's still pretty poofy. Their horns get lost in it sometimes. Their expression is pretty noticeable too- they have a tendency to stare while in thought and not realize that they've been gazing at a stranger until they're made aware of it.

formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?

They're apt to wear slightly more luxurious textures that they've splurged on. Think silky or velvety fabrics mixed with ones more befitting of their budget. In truth, Merc has forgone a meal or three in order to add to their collection, because they really can't hold themself back from having a few things like that.

As for the actual garment types, loose shirts with a low cut and flouncy sleeves, trousers, and boots with a small heel are all things they would reach for in formal occasions. It's rarer to see them in a dress or a skirt, but they wouldn't necessarily be against it if pressed.

hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning?

It depends on the length at the time, but if it's past their shoulders it's almost always tied back somehow. They have a few curls that frame their face, and they have several tiny braids woven throughout their hair for each of their lost family members. In the idea I have of Merc eventually finding some of them again, a braid is undone for anyone they find. I play around with your idea about the shearing festival, I'm sure their feelings are similar to the other people from Reimhaile an it's probably really nice having it cut after a year of growth. A literal weight off the shoulders x).

favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?

Merc is a bit materialistic, fond of most of their things tbh. The ones they treasure the most are most certainly their rings (the ones for their siblings and ofc the Ring of Metamorphosis which alters their appearance). Most of the rings they remove when necessary (bathing, sleeping, etc.) and store in a pouch, though the RoM (I don't feel like writing it out again lmao) might stay on or off during those times depending on how they feel. It's obviously special to them and they don't very readily give away its purpose or meaning but to those they're really close to.

change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?

The most obvious times come from their use of the coffin and the ring with how they alter their appearance as it relates to their fluidity with gender. Apart from that, there are a few different ways, like going through pretty drastic haircuts every now and again. As they've aged they've tended to spend more on clothing and jewelry, since growing up their options were more limited and less exciting to them. Also, I still haven't decided on the tattoo thing bc I need to do more research on how it would work in context, but I like the idea of that being a thing and I might go with it anyway lol.

#ask bug #ask memes #knighthoneybee #my ocs #violet sage mercurio

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hoodharlow · 3 years

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At the Top of Cherry Hill

El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 4

AN: Here’s Part 5! Sorry for the delay, the past few days I was going through it, but now I'm better <333 Hope you enjoy this. Thank you at @tekweela for the Cal picture ilysm

Requested? No

Warnings: almost smut, the consequences of not using any sort of contraception or birth control, and an angsty ending :)

Claudia huffed and rolled her eyes at Calum before she took the sunscreen he offered her. She angrily rubbed some all over her face. She just couldn't believe he and Medelyn would set her and Danny up like this. She barely tolerated him and now she was forced to walk five miles with him under the blazing sun.

Ever since the baby shower they haven’t talked. When the stay at home orders became mandatory, they moved back to Diego and Soni’s house. They agreed to not talk about the baby shower incident until they were ready to have an actual conversation. The three months they spent at their parents’ house were awkward, but luckily for them, their parents didn’t pick up on it. Though their older sibling did.

On Junior’s day off from the restaurant he went over to their parents’ house and instantly noticed the twins were in a fight. In his twenty one years of being their older sibling, he always knew when they were in a fight. He called them to the yard and lectured them, trying his best to figure out why they were arguing. Claudia made up some reason because if he knew the real reason he would have murdered both Danny and Paco.

Calum got out of the car and motioned Claudia to do the same. She grabbed her mini Prada backpack from the back seat. It was a gift from Calum after they watched 10 Things I Hate About You on loop for a week, and Claudia always acted out the part where Chastity and Bianca talked about the differences between like and love.

She put on her mask and awkwardly tugged her bike shorts by her inner thighs. One of the reasons why she hated the summer was the awkward tugging between her thighs wherever she would wear shorts or rompers. She tugged her sport's bra and handed the sunscreen to Calum.

"Can you get my back?" She asked him sweetly.

"Don't start anything." He warned her

He tapped the bottle on his hand to get the last of it. "Did we add sunscreen to your list?"

"No," Claudia shook her head. She bent down, pressing her ass to Calum's crotch so she could get her phone from her backpack. She pushed herself a little more rougher when she got up with her phone. "Let me add it."

After getting Duke from the back, Calum tugged Claudia towards the black Ford 150. Danny had his back to them as he changed Sebastian's diaper. Medelyn waved to them as she fixed the stroller.

"I didn't think he knew how to change a diaper." Claudia mumbled to Calum.

"Claudia," He warned.

"I'm just saying that he spends so much time in the shop with Beatriz Hernandez—"

"What the fuck is Beatriz doing in your shop?" Medelyn asked Danny as she handed Sebastian to Calum.

He gave Claudia a glare. "Why do you always have to make me look bad? What does the person I hired as the receptionist of my shop have to do with me changing diapers? Nothing. No más quieres abrir el pinche osico Claudia." Danny turned to Medelyn. "I didn't know who Beatriz was until esta came in to get her tattoo and told me. I can't just fire her because of some shit that went down in high school."

After a few awkward moments of silence, Medelyn spoke up. "I kinda got a headache. Maybe we should do this another time."

"I agree." Calum nodded.

Danny collapsed the stroller and placed it in the back of the cargo bed. He whistled at Panchito who was with Claudia and Duke and helped him up. He secured him and went in the truck.

Calum helped Medelyn with Sebastian and went up to where Danny was sitting and talked briefly. He nodded and patted the door. He scratched behind Panchito's ears before going back to Claudia.

"It wasn't even five minutes, Claudia." He said, sitting on the picnic table near them. He pulled off his cap and brushed his hair with his fingers. "Do you know what I would do to have Mali living twenty minutes away from me?"

"Cal…"

"Let's just go home Claudia." He said defeatedly. He took Duke's leash from her and went to the car.

He let Duke sniff around while Claudia catched up.

Calum didn't mean to make her feel bad, but he was exhausted. They didn't see how lucky they were to be so close. They weren't separated by an entire country and an ocean like him and Mali. The only thing that kept the twins apart were their massive egos.

Duke halted and looked behind him. His ears perked up, alert of his surroundings. He tugged Calum to the opposite end and barked.

Calum heard a soft whimper. He cautiously let Duke approach the whimpering sounds.

"Claudia, can you help?" Calum asked her when they reached the sounds.

"Yeah." She took his hand and crawled to where Duke was.

There was a small dalmatian puppy curled up under a rock that provided some sort of shelter. Its bones slightly poked through as it shivered.

"Here," Calum said, handing her his shirt.

Claudia set it on the ground and reached for a snack in her backpack. Cursing that she only has cherries, she pitted the seed of one of them and offered it to the pup. It hesitated and ate it. It ate a few more and allowed Claudia to place it on the shirt.

She wrapped it up and picked it up. She hummed quietly hoping the puppy would relax.

"It's okay," Claudia said softly. She rubbed its head.

"Let's head back. We can take her to Duke's vet. They have walk-ins on Saturdays." Calum said.

Claudia kept the puppy on her lap while Calum drove them to the vet. Duke protested once recognizing the vet's logo.

"It's okay mi vida." Claudia told him quietly. "We're gonna go see that your new friend is okay. Te quedas con Cal, va?"

Duke laid back on his seat. Calum helped Claudia grab her things and her mask. He opened the door for her and slid back in the car with Duke.

An hour or so passed when Calum’s phone began to buzz. He lifted it from the cupholder and answered it once seeing it was Claudia.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Can we keep her? Please? The vet tech said that she's about ten weeks old. Then they scanned her in case she was chipped and nothing popped up. They are bathing her and gonna give her all of her 8 week shots.” Claudia explained. “Duquito didn't try to fight her when we found her. She's just so precious. They were gonna take her to a shelter.”

“She’s going to be your responsibility. I’m not picking up her shit.” He said in a tone that reminded Claudia over dad when her and Danny asked for a dog.

“I pinky swear...what does Duke think?”

“Let me ask him.” Calum put Claudia on speaker and turned to Duke. “Do you want the puppy to stay with us?”

Duke lifted his head and yipped excitedly.

“Yay!” Claudia quietly squealed. “We’ll see you in a bit. Love you guys.”

Another half hour passed when Claudia and the puppy came out of the vet. The dalmatian looked nothing like the one they found on the hiking trail. It was a complete 180.

"So this is Cherry," She said, introducing Calum and Duke to the puppy.

Duke pushed himself onto the center console and sniffed Cherry. He happily yipped at her. He curled up and laid back in his spot.

Calum stretched out his hand to her. She nudged his hand and sniffed it. She licked his hand.

"You should have named her apple or apricot. That way we could have been ACDC." Calum joked as pulled into the street.

Claudia kissed the top of Cherry's head and gave Calum a pointed look. "In my defense I was going to pack some apple slices, but you rushed me."

***

Claudia gently knocked on their bedroom door and poked her head in. She cleared her throat. In part to get Calum's attention and to muffle her moan. Something about Calum shirtless in only black pants and that damn belt with the big silver buckle sent her spiraling. All she could think of dropping to her knees and letting him have his way with her mouth.

"Everything alright?" He asked her as he placed some shirts in his suitcase.

"Just letting you know dinner will be ready in five." She said, eyeing his ass through the mirror.

"Is that all?" He asked, knowing that look she had.

"Yeah." Claudia closed the door and went back to the kitchen.

Calum was just making sure his pants and favorite belt still fit. He had most of his clothes packed, save for his undergarments. He pocketed his phone and went downstairs.

He poked his head in the living room and saw the two dogs peacefully napping on their beds. His mind wandered to when he and Claudia had kids and he was checking in on them, sleeping without a worry in the world like Duke and Cherry.

Calum and Claudia haven't brought up the topic of starting a family in almost two months. Truthfully they only talked about it once in the driveway of her parents' home after they took her nephew to get stitches. haven't brought it up since then.

"They are literal angels." Claudia whispered, bringing Calum back from his thoughts.

"Yeah." He agreed. He pulled her close to him.

"Are you still mad from earlier? You know, me not knowing when to talk and ruining our hike." She quietly asked.

"I wasn't mad. I was in a weird headspace. I miss Mali and the fact that you have Danny so close to you and you both choose to not talk about what happened at the baby shower made me slightly disappointed, I guess. I know he hurt you with what he said and his actions, but at the end of the day he's your brother." He shrugged. "I know it's not my place to tell you how to work through your feelings and it's up to you to figure out what and who are best for you."

"You're right… I'm sorry for being an inconsiderate dumbass and ruining our hike."

"Apology accepted." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Speaking of knowing who and what are best for me...you and this belt are currently what's best for me."

"I figured when you were eye-fucking me earlier."

Calum pulled Claudia to the kitchen so they could have more privacy. He leaned down and captured her lips. It didn't take long for them to deepen the kiss.

“Let me turn off the espagueti verde.” Claudia mumbled, pulling away from his lips. She leaned over and turned off the heat. She smiled and took off her shirt. “Where were we?”

“I think you were going to drop your panties and let me bend you over the counter." He said.

"That sounds about right." Claudia nodded. "But I'd prefer it if you took them off."

"That works too." He smiled.

He caged Claudia in, pressing his growing hard on as he leaned down to kiss her. Calum pulled down the silk camisole and exposed her breasts. With one hand he toyed with her breasts as his mouth descended down to her jaw. He gently nipped and sucked, leaving love bites around her neck. He continued his journey down, showing love to her small tattoos and until he reached her panties.

Calum kissed her 'wildflower' tattoo and pulled down her panties along with her camisole. Wordlessly he placed one of her legs over his shoulder. He sponged kisses all over the inside of her thighs, making Claudia grow impatient.

"Cal," she whimpered.

One of her hands was already gripping his curls. Claudia unsubtly bucked her hips for some relief, but she wasn't getting any of his.

"Turn around." Calum said, dropping her leg and getting up from the floor.

"I wanted your mouth." She pouted before she turned around.

"I know." he said, kissing her shoulder. "You'll get it in a bit."

Claudia rolled her eyes and bent at the waist, jutting her hips back and gripping the counter. Calum stifled a laugh and pushed her further up the counter, so they were at the same level.

"Tell me again why you have a tall counter." Claudia asked,lightly kicking the air.

"Tell me again why you're short," he retorted.

"Excuse you, I'm 5'6."

"On a good day, you're normally 5'5, Claudia." He said, in the same tone she said it when someone asked her how tall she is.

Claudia scoffed and looked back at him. "Do you wanna get laid or what?"

"I'm joking," he said, kissing her. "I'm gonna get a condom."

Claudia watched him pull up his pants and take his car keys. He had an extra stash of condoms in the glove compartment.

Coincidentally, Claudia had run out of birth control at the same time Calum told her that he was planning on going to London to work with Mali on her album. He was leaving in three weeks.

Claudia didn't see the point of getting her ten week supply. He was going to be gone for two months, and her pills were specifically programmed to be taken at the time she bought them. If she waited to take them when Calum came back they wouldn't be effective.

"You didn’t buy any when you went to Target right?" he said, coming into the kitchen.

"No. Are we out?" she said as she pulled herself up so she sat on the counter. She reached for one of their decorative dish towels and covered herself.

"Yeah." he pushed back his curls and leaned against the counter. "How do we finish a 36 pack so fast?"

"Considering the amount of quickies we had in your car while we were at my parents' house." She shrugged.

"I bought that pack about two weeks ago after Ashton did his album shoot here." He deadpanned.

"Oh," Claudia giggled shyly.

She leaned forward and pulled him to her lips. She wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. She let Calum's hands wander all over her body. Claudia slowly reached down and pumped his cock.

"Fuck," Calum groaned. He leaned his forehead against hers and watched her hand work on him.

"Cal I need you in me." Claudia sighed.

"We don't have any condoms." He reminded her, kissing down her neck.

"I know… just this one time?"

Calum pulled away to make sure she was okay with what they were going to do. "Just this one time."

***

Claudia checked her calendar once more, hoping the date wasn’t off. Her period was about six weeks late. She was supposed to get it the week Calum left for London. She didn’t think much when it didn’t show up. Her period was usually late when she was stressed about something. Calum traveling across the country and Atlantic Ocean in the middle of a global pandemic was something she worried about.

Six weeks later and nothing.

She chewed on the loose skin around her fingernails as she waited for the timer on her phone to go off. Annoyed that in the ten minutes she waited only an actual minute passed. She got up and went to the kitchen.

Cherry and Duke lifted their heads from the couch as she passed them. Cherry got off and followed her. She sat in front of Claudia’s stool and waited for her to get her snack. Claudia rolled her eyes and tossed her a baked treat. Duke came in seconds later and asked for one as well.

Claudia grabbed a bowl of fresh kumquats from Calum’s tree and began taking out the juice. Weirdly enough the bittersweet flavor helped her with morning sickness. If anyone saw her, they’d be confused as fuck seeing her eat kumquats. Everyone and their mother knew she detested them and would do the most if she was near them. The same thing with pickles.

She knew something was up when she went out to get lunch with KayKay and Sierra a few days ago. KayKay was the one to point out that she didn’t tell the server to remove the pickles from her chicken sandwich.

Her phone went off. She cursed and got up from her stool. A loud crashing sound came from the backyard, making her halt. She waited a few more seconds and she heard the same sound in the little area Calum works out in.

Panicking, she scooped up Duke and motioned Cherry to follow her upstairs. She quickly rushed back and swiped her bowl of kumquats. She pushed the dogs in the closet and grabbed her laptop off her bed. While she waited for her laptop to load she called Danny.

“Do you know what time it is?” He snapped.

“I think someone’s trying to break in.” Claudia spoke in a hushed voice.

“What?”

“I said, I think—”

“I heard you. Did you call 911?”

“No, I don’t want Cal to get the notification that the police came. Can you come and bring Panchito? Cherry is still at that phase where she lets everyone pet her. He could bite the burglar and we can just say it was self defense. Like who are they gonna believe? Me or the robber. I mean technically I’m not the homeowner, but my mans is you know. And sure, Panchito doesn't live here, but like we can just say—”

“En un ratito llego.” He said hanging up.

Claudia set her phone down and logged into the Ring website so she can get access to the cameras Calum got installed before they left to her parents’. She cursed as the website glitched and sent her back to the shopping tab. She grabbed her phone and went to the app store to download the app. Another five minutes passed and she logged into the app. She found cameras that aimed where she heard the sounds and sighed in relief. It was the neighborhood cat.

The elderly woman who lives up the street owns it, but she let’s it roam around the neighborhood. Claudia has seen it a few times chilling at the top of some people’s fences.

She checked the other cameras and dialed Danny.

“What?” He said, stifling a yawn.

“So I checked the cameras and it was a cat.” Claudia said, opening the bedroom closet.

“You don’t need me to come over?”

“No, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m like ten minutes away. You want carne asada fries?”

“Please.”

“Te veo en un ratito.”

“Bye Danny.” She said hanging up.

Ten minutes later Danny showed up with her carne asada fries and a bat. Cherry went up to him and sniffed him. She yipped excitedly and wagged her tail.

“She’s growing fast.” He said scratching behind her ears.

“I know.” Claudia said, leading him to the kitchen.

Danny set the bat under his seat and grabbed one of her disinfectant wipes to clean the to-go box before setting it down on the counter. He took a fork Claudia offered him.

“I have sparkling cider if you want or do you want a beer?” She said, placing the bottle on the counter.

“Is it apple and grape?”

“Obis jobis.”

He motioned Claudia to hand him the bottle. He opened it with his bottle opener keychain while she grabbed some cups.

“When is Calum coming back?”

“Tomorrow, his flight is at twelve London time and he lands around four in the afternoon.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah…”

They awkwardly ate in silence, only talking to pass around la salsa verde.

“Danny?” Claudia began, getting his attention. “I’m sorry about blurting out that Beatriz thing to Mede. It was fucked up and uncalled.”

“Don’t worry about it. Mede and I talked it through… I’m sorry about the whole Paco thing. Especially what I said about you not putting out. That was pretty fucked up.”

“Apology accepted.” Claudia said, sipping her sparkling cider.

“I think la güerra and him are a thing.” He said.

“I knew it! I was watching her snapchat story a few weeks ago and saw a familiar tattooed hand.” Claudia laughed.

They fell into conversation. Lurking La Güerra’s, their cousin Vanessa on their dad’s side, social media Claudia and Danny were able to figure out that their cousin and Paco have been a thing around the start of quarantine. The conversation moved to Danny and his tattooing.

While they hung out on the couch with the new medical drama playing in the background, Danny inspected the tattoo he did on Claudia's knee a few weeks ago. "It healed nicely," he said, smacking her knee. It was two fish skeletons in circular motion, but one fish was shaded while the other was outlined.

"Thank you. I have another appointment in a few weeks. I think I'm going to get it on the inside of my ankle. Sara drew this cool picture and she let me use the drawing." Claudia sipped more of her sparkling cider. "Who was the first person you tattooed at Ivan's shop?"

"Mede." He said, pulling Cherry to his lap. "She and her sorority sisters were in San Diego because UCSD was hosting an event for all of the sororities or some shit for the weekend. Ivan told me I earned my own chair and the whole day none of the walk-ins wanted me to work on them. It made sense, I was barely 20. Anyways an hour or so before closing Mede and few of her sorority sisters showed up.

She recognized me and I freaked because she remembered me. The girls with her teased her and she got all shy and shit."

"No mames estas enamoradisimo de Mede." Claudia teased him.

"I'm pretty sure I've been in love with her since high school— anyways, they all wanted to get the sorority's name and a symbol relating to the ocean. I drew their designs and no one wanted to get them. So Mede volunteered. She got it on her side boob because she didn't want Deacon Pepe and Marcela to see it. You know how they are about tattoos."

Claudia nodded as she turned back to get a blanket. "Doña Marcela literally made me wear long sleeves to soccer games and track meets because my tattoo was inappropriate." She said, lifting her arm to show him her first tattoo she got when she was sixteen.

It was spatula and baseball crossed together with a soccer ball like royal arms that represented her and her brothers. The spatula was for Junior because he followed their father's footsteps and became a chef. The baseball was for Danny because he was their high school's star player. Lastly the soccer ball represented Claudia because soccer was her thing.

"Like my dad was there when I got it done." She said.

"At least she didn't forbid you to be near Mede because you made homemade tattoos at the back parking lot at school."

"The fact that you didn't get caught still amazes me."

"Dr. Vazquez caught me but was impressed and let me do one on him." Danny shrugged.

"Shut up!"

"I swear. It was a pinup girl on his calf."

"That's so weird!" Claudia cringed.

An hour or so passed and they were still talking, but Claudia began dozing off. “I should get going." Danny said.

"When Cal is done with his three week quarantine, we should all hang out." Claudia offered.

"Yeah, I'm gonna leave you that bat in case someone does try to break in you get them with it."

"Dude don't scare me."

"I'm kidding, mensa." He said, giving her a side hug. "Where's your bathroom?"

"The door closest to the front door." Claudia said, checking her phone.

He nodded and went. She closed some apps and noticed her period app. "Shit!" She got up and bolted to the bathroom. "Wait Danny!"

"What the fuck Claudia!" He exclaimed, exiting the bathroom.

"Did you see them?" she asked, so she wouldn't have to see the results.

"No, I'm not touching your pee." he grimaced. "Do you not know?"

Claudia shook her head and hugged herself. "I don't wanna see."

"Go see."

Claudia groaned and slipped in the bathroom. She crossed herself and quietly prayed that they were all negative. She glanced at the test and cursed.

"So you're gonna have a new niece or nephew." Claudia said awkwardly as she came out of the bathroom.

"Fuck! Claudia, you're the smart one." Danny began lecturing her. "How could you two be so irresponsible? Of all the tests to fail you decide to fail a pregnancy test?"

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years

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Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken.

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl.

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't.

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph!

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)

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