#i'm good at embarrassing myself

[nightwingshero]

WIP Day, Yay!!!

I was tagged by the ever amazing @xbaebsae to post a WIP! Thank you, lovely!!!

Tagging: @euryalex @chazz-anova @cousingregstan @sstewyhosseini @water-writings @pen-in-hand @simonxriley @playstationmademe @geronimo-11 @fadedjacket @minilev @beemot @chyrstis @strafethesesinners @cobb-vanthss @ziorre @smithandrogers @hoesephseed @foofygoldfish 

Have some of Randy’s oneshot I’ve been working on for way too long and it definitely needs work and uhhhh, you know, to be finished.

Merle twisted his face as I walked back to the office. “You kiddin’ me? Now you listen here, Miller. Those two boys ain’t worth my fuckin’ time. Weirdos, they are. You hear about that Adelaide Drubman? Word is she’s got her claws on some young college kid now. Him and a few friends stopped in for spring break or some shit, looked at her, and decided to stay a bit longer for the experience, if you catch my drift.”

“I don’t need to fuckin’ know that, Merle.” My tone was a little clipped when I turned to look back at him. He threw his hands up in the air in defense.

“Alright, alright. I hear yah, buddy. Loud and clear. I’m just sayin’ that a titty bar would be fun and we ain’t got one here. A bunch of the guys are goin’.”

Scoffing under my breath, I shake my head. I was almost curious to see what the roster for that had turned out to be, but I spared myself the fucking nightmare. I find the Jeep paperwork, filling out the invoice to reflect the work that was done. New brakes and tire rotation and alignment with a quick oil change. Easy enough.

“I’m sure y’all will have fun, mate. I got shit to do and I ain’t interested.” I mumbled as I rubbed my beard, no longer paying much attention.

Aaaaaand here’s some of my Haikyuu vampire au because apparently we’re dragging myself today. Don’t look at me. I REPEAT, DO NOT LOOK AT ME.

“I already died, what does it matter?” The words were barely more than a rasp and my throat erupted in invisible flames from the effort, but it doesn’t dull the harsh tone. I didn’t think it through, the words left before I even realized I was replying. I wasn’t even sure what my intention was at this point. But whatever mark I had aimed at, the words struck true and for the first time since I had met him, Kuroo bared his fangs at me in pure fury. Whatever semblance of a heart I had in my chest had stilled, my breath catching as his demeanor changed. He quickly shot the glass back, draining the contents before turning and reaching for the bag on the table. I was confused—and a bit terrified—as I watched him, unsure how to navigate whatever shift had happened. I had seen him angry, seen him vicious and cold, but it was always with a gently but firm arm around my waist or shoulders, a hand sometimes resting against my lower back. It was always aimed at someone else, never me. For a moment, I worried that perhaps he would finish me off. But he brought the bag to his mouth and used his teeth to rip into the plastic before pouring a healthy amount into the glass. After tossing the bag back where it laid before, blood pooling on the wooden table, he paused for a moment, as if waiting for something—giving me a chance to move or do something. But I didn’t. So he shot back another glassful, his mouth full as red liquid seeped through his lips just a bit. He didn’t swallow, however. He just held it in his mouth.

And took a step forward.

My eyes widened, and for the first time since being placed in here, I felt fully awake. Enough to realize just how bad I had truly gotten. “No…no.” The words were nothing but a rasp, but I knew he could hear me—could understand me. That didn’t make him stop in his approach, however, and I began to scramble to put more distance between us. Before, I probably would have put up a better fight, even if he would have found it amusing—like he usually did—I would have been able to at least try. But my body was too weak from just laying in bed, refusing to feed to maintain any sort of health by their standards. My arms shook as I tried to prop myself up, as I tried to move away, and I just collapsed against the mattress as my attempts to scoot closer to the other side became futile. Kuroo moved swiftly, gracefully climbing on the bed and sliding up close. Tears swam in my eyes as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close as he gently held me, almost cradling me against his chest as he laid on his side beside me. It was enough to stun me, but not enough to keep my hands from trying to shove him away—no matter how pathetic the attempt—as I continue to try to tell him to go away. It caused something in his hazel eyes to flicker as he used his free hand to gently caress my cheek.

If I hadn’t known better, I would have said it was sorrow.

It was gone in a second. His gentle caress—his thumb tracing my cheekbone delicately—quickly transformed into a firm grip on my jaw. I gasped from shock as panic filled my chest, but it gave him the perfect opportunity to squeeze, forcing to keep my mouth open as he quickly ducked down, crashing his lips hard against mine. An opened mouth kiss that would have been obscene to witness allowed the dark liquid to pour into my mouth as my nails dug into his shoulder. I tried hard to spit it back as I kept my throat closed, trails of red warmth escaping from the kiss and meeting his fingers

#oc: randy miller #oc: akemi fukuda #fc5 #haikyuu #my writing #my ocs #i'm good at embarrassing myself

[dreamaze]

BFFL 41/∞ ↪ makeup artist chae hyungwon (don't quit your day job)

+ changkyun's first up-close look

#(click for full size <3) #mx7net #monstaxedits #minhyuk #hyungwon #monsta x #tuseral #wabisarah #oorieri #userkyutie #wings.gifs #wings.original #bffl series #💜💜 #tragic that the original video is no longer online or subbed in english so a brief rough translation it is #i love that hyungwon is so very good at certain things & absolutely embarrassing at others #at least the maknae was having a good time! #also the way min looks at hyungwon in the 2nd to last one i'm throwing myself off a cliff bYE

[ride-a-dromedary]

Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA #it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency #or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role #like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene #he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over* #like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops #i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control' #and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him #Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself #he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century* #and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root #or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy #note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself* #anyway i'm unwell #maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds #and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way #you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[doctor-disc0]

If this gets 50 notes, I'll work on 1 wip

If this gets 100 notes, I'll publish that wip to ao3 (and post a link here)

If this gets 500 notes, I will resume working on my ginormous wip that will be 20+ chapters, and I may even post snippets of what I have so far

If this gets 1k notes, I'll try fixing my sleep schedule

If this gets 5k+ notes, I will buy the medicine I probably need but have decided to live without for some reason

Watch as this gets 0 notes lol

#notes challenge #this is partially me trying to convince myself that people actually do care about my writing #and don't think it's dogshit #but I know it probably isn't good so 😔 #I am probably the least talented fic writer ever #rb bait #<- in case people want to block #I added the self care stuff because I'm so convinced people hate my writing #hello depression how are you #don't ask what the medicine is for. please. it's embarrassing. #suffice it to say that it would greatly increase my quality of life to have it

[seriousturd]

Doodles of the guys

#blind man's bluff #ladyredms #l4d2 #BROOO i'm so pumped to see them as a couple it's actually embarrassing #seeing them being cheesy and openly in love will be the end of me (in a good way) ARRGHHHHH #(doodled these after i reread some of the roughest breakup chapters and omg the PAIN!!!! they deserve insane happiness) #(these aren't really specific bmb scenes i just wanted to imagine them doing domestic-ish things to soothe myself after those chapters lol)

[notsodailycake]

Home is where Freddy is

Chapter 1

Part 9 [First|Prev.|Next]

Support me on Ko-fi

Ok! New part and this time it's the right one XD

Tho for those who saw it already, welp I'm so sorry for that spoiler- but i still hope yall enjoy it 🥲

Also, the first panel is and most likely will be the one time i actually give Vanessa nails in the comic XD

Hands are hard man-

I dont have much else to say this time either, well i do, but i feel like it's best to leave it as it's separate post and not ruin the comic-

(Comic without dialog under cut)

Thanks for reading!!

#gaaah I'm still so embarrassed by that! #and upset too...but for other reasons other then embarrassing myself that I'll probably explain in the future #uhm i dont wanna scare anyone but i feel it should be good to give a heads-up that I'll probably post an update about the comic #an update that...isn't the comic #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #security breach #home is where freddy is #I'll admit this will probably be the last post for a while now

[khihi]

hm. feeling annoying and embarrassing to be around today. dont like that.

#/vent #/personal #pls ignore if you're in a good mood i do Not want to be a bummer #dyou ever like... swing violently between extroverted and introverted?? #idk i feel like that's the only way i can explain it #while i'm in an extroverted mood my anxiety makes it feel like i'm on a rollercoaster #like pushing myself onto the ride (being social) is hooorrible but i've learned that it's worth it in the end and i have fun #but then when i swing back to feeling more introverted it's like #suddenly the most dramatic fucking crash #and every interaction i've ever had makes me feel sick to think about #even the good ones somehow #and i'm embarrassed about the fact i exist #like i feel annoying and embarrassing 24/7 even on good days but on bad days it's like it's eating my body from the inside out #wish i had a normal brain hahaaaa #uggh. anyway. sorry for this but what use is a tumblr blog if you don't document your decent into insanity.

[klingonrealitytelevision]

Episode 9

Rei is doing the positive version of "Living through your children." Which I believe is normally called "Being supportive of their interests?"

Essentially, making up for things or experiences you didn't or couldn't have as a child, and making sure your kids are treated better.

Rei was clearly raised to be as quiet as possible and to take up the least amount of space as possible. It's clear that he himself doesn't mind noisy or bright people, even to his own surprise as demonstrated with both Kazuki and Miri.

The thing is Miri is loud. She's 4, that's actually very normal. But, not only does he passively accept their loudness, he tries to match it here. It's such a big step for him, it can't be easy for him, but he wants to help so so badly. It can't have been easy for him to raise his voice like that, but he did it.

He loves Miri so much it's amazing. Even his advice on running and the science behind it shows that he supports her and is trying to help even though it make look like he's doesn't care.

#buddy daddies #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #miri unasaka #i love that the moms genuinely believe Kazuki is a comedian #they probably assumed the barbed wire thing was a bit and just went oh he's making a joke lmao what a guy #if Miri brings a partner to visit Rei's vibes are gonna be rancid mf better be an actual oil baron to be good enough for Miri #also once again lmao at Rei's childish tastes man is re doing his childhood one terrible diet decision after another #i wonder how the moms rationalize an oil baron wearing shirts with such sloppy collars #like i can only assume they think Rei is supporting Kazukis career and since Kazuki does the domestic work #maybe they think he's just bad at laundry #I'm speaking from experience to some degree I'm talkative but i hate it #I learned that people in authority like me better quiet and i have RSD so I hate embarrassing myself and others #so it's hard for me to cheer because it feels like I'm attracting too much attention to myself #i can't help it i hate standing out so much #but when my brother got into eSports and i was the one taking him i tried my best to cheer him on #i got loud just for him #it hurt and it was embarrassing but i did it because i needed to show my brother that i was there for him

[seravphs]

I’m scared to post knight Gojo thank you for being so nice to me about it bffs 💛

#I’m nervous! I’m so nervous!! #thinking about the John Green quote about potential and fear of failure #knight Gojo is really scary to me because the last project I think people really liked from me was Teen Dad Gojo #which I've made my peace with even though I used to be really embarrassed of it but if I peaked at sixteen #I could not continue to live with myself that's so embarrassing #knight gojo is my attempt at showing how much I've improved but what if I finish it and I realize I actually haven't improved at all #you don't understand how much this idea horrifies me #I don't want to be frozen in time like any living thing I want to grow! #I'm not normally this insecure about my writing because I am at heart just a blockhead who just bulldozes through life driven by impulse bu #I think Mao talked about this once but there's a chart for growth and at some point your ability to criticize your own work exceeds your #ability to create because you're good enough to recognize quality but not good enough to manufacture it #anyway! knight gojo is going out tomorrow and I'm going to stop being a baby about it and if it sucks it sucks and I keep learning #thanks for being here with me guys <3 let's have a sleepover after I drop the fic <3

[tsunael]

wolcred girlies 🤝 having them have a messy one-night-stand in HW

#I'm just saying............. #it's a good trope jan #and the aymeric love triangle has lived rent free in my head after the 'good god it's love' line #like please #he's so jealous ok #i should be sleeping not embarrassing myself on main #'but xoxo did tuna have one' no don't look at me

[tardis--dreams]

I have a 'job interview' today at 6p.m. (s i x o c l o c k. In the Evening.) (It's currently 12:40 am) but I'll make chickpea salad on thursday so maybe there's still something left to live for

#this is diabolical #the whole day is ruined #I'm gonna dread it all day #it's so fucked up #i wanna kill that woman #and myself #and for a job i have no chance of getting #it's gonna be so embarrassing #i wanna throw up #but i love chickpeas and they keep me going ♡ #Thursday is gonna be a good day solely because of the chickpeas #i hate these interviews #i think they should be illegal #just give people jobs without putting them through such agony #void screams

[heartbreak-sandwich]

beep boop I am on the verge of finalizing this Gator ficlet, and I am so afraid to post it, honestly. Terrified.

#I just feel like #what if it's not good enough #because I've been so inspired by other gator stories and I feel like I'm not really like....a storyteller u know? #I just write stuff so people can mindfuck their faves #and while I definitely love it when other people do that #for some reason mine feels like background noise and embarrassment lol #I think I am just really struggling with my writing ability and having confidence in myself lately idk #depression swallows my self esteem whole fr #anyways hi

[jaeyooniverse]

FIRST COLLECTION — 7 January 2020

"The album features a variety of tracks that highlights the musical attainments that SF9 has achieved and which will present a bright vision of the future. In particular, the members participated in all 10 songs, proving a wide range of musical growth. In addition to the sensuous performance that has become the trademark of SF9, they will open the prelude to the SF9 Golden Age with a luxurious and slick visual concept named ‘GOLDEN RATED’ that only SF9 can be awarded." Happy anniversary to SF9's first full album, which graced us with the much-deserved first win!

#sf9 #sfnet #byfantasy #first collection #good guy #gifs #mine #tag ramble bc i didnt want to embarrass myself out in the open: #but like not to be dramatic this album means so much to me SDHFJSKFH #like first win aside im p sure this was the first comeback after I accepted sepgus as my ult #and it's the first comeback i had with my wonderful goodtasy besties! #i literally associate this era with the groupchat I love you girls SO MUCH #also the whole experience of the good guy mv dropping a day before the album release date omg i lost my mind #it's hands down my favorite title like maybe it's the emotional attachment but by GOD it is my favorite and I think it always will be #like it's been THREE YEARS i am not getting sick of this song any time soon #let's not forget the VOCALS on this album vocal line did what they had to do!! and more!!! #like when i didn't think i could fall in love with their voices more they keep surprising me #also. the suits. #ALSO. 200119..200209.... the way i have these dates engraved in my brain. in my HEART #okay i'm done hehe #if anyone wants to join me in yelling abt first collection....be my guest #tawa.log #might as well at this point since i yapped so much lmao

[urlocallesbiab]

sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)

i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care

#signed: vika's ghost #also i've caught a cold so there's that too #terribly sorry for being overdramatic i'm just... tired of being tired and i wanted to talk about it a little bit #it's very important for me to talk about everything that's wrong with me. i tend to avoid that but now i'm trying to learn and to make peace #creative drive and ability to hold thought-out conversations keep slipping out of my graps and it kinda hurts more #— in a good cathartic sort of way but painful nonetheless — to remember what they felt like at all #i miss wanting to work on my wip and i miss having the attention span to write out headcanon and i miss having headcanons #and i miss talking to my fandom friends #(i did it just last week but i already miss it. it's one of the things i'd like to be able to do every day) #and i miss the ability to connect with art and i miss the ability to focus on written word and i miss commenting #and i miss discussing ideas and i miss interacting and i miss having fun. god i just miss having fun. #kp my apologies for not making much progress on bb&b; myself my apologies for not writing any of my other wips or outlines or posts; #da gc gang my apologies for not following up on any of the things; every fic writer whose work ended up in my to-read pile IM SORRY #jack & kp specifically i love your stuff #also jack my apologies for taking a While; & the rd gc apologies for never writing out any of the cool au thoughts i'd had after some point #really，i've been meaning to. everything requires way too much effort. everyone is so fun and i miss having fun #take care，remember me fondly，i'll be back，please stand by #if tomorrow morning i find this embarrassing i'll chalk it up to a fever or something. #idc i'm allowed to have it. world won't blow up if i'm embarrassing on the internet once or twice or honestly even forever #vikarambles #vent