#i'm not joking.

[cosmichoneyz]

hey tumblr last night i got a man's number and his snapchat by having a chat about doctor who with him. get on my level

#I'M NOT JOKING. #me and the bitch i pulled by being autistic #doctor who #i actually have game

[echoequinox]

*KICKS IN THE DOOR*

MY ALT GOT NUKED, TIME TO BE HORNY ON MAIN, SORRY Y'ALL!!

#personal #i'm not joking.

[bear-cubs-art-things]

I shit you not working on Aziraphales hair and making it better came to me in a dream

#I'm not joking. #I'm quite serious actually #this came to me in a fucking dream. #bear rambles #👏🏻 ANYWAYS

[jellyloveru]

i will not die during his regime.

#балаболим #lgbt's are criminals in russia now #i'm not joking. #they had like. a court today. closed off one. with a plaintiff and without the defendant #they made up some “worldwide lgbt organisation” to consider it as extrimist. some people decided to represent it. they didn't let them in. #welp. #i was born while he was ruling but i ain't going to die while he does. he ain't outliving me. #блять. какая же хуйня. #в тартарары катимся. #ничё. не в таких были. выползем если придётся. блять.

[davy-zeppeli]

my photo gallery atm:

Art References 90 pictures

Tumblr 70 pictures

Favourite Photos 63 pictures

Mike 1521 pictures

PicsArt 128

someone who is good at photo organisation please help me sort this. my gallery is dying

#I'm not joking. #me #ramblings

[mchiti]

also some of them came with their families but some others came alone (non-accompanied minors...literal kids...travelling all the way to europe...the west will answer on this sooner or later). those who came here alone (unaccompanied minors usually come from sub-saharan africa):

dream: going to france

interests: living in france, football, mbappé

#i'm not joking. #like literally not joking #every year new kids same story #and who's going to tell them going to france is not going to happen anytime soon

[muscosus]

damn i literally dress like matteo these days

#i'm not joking. #i must've blacked out and robbed his wardrobe #roro.txt #druck

[swish-swish-nyoom-nyoom]

forgive the huge amount of tags, but i'm feeling something between hilarity and deep, deep awe rn, and to explain why i need to talk about the context

#okay so i was bored and ended up watching a japanese period drama randomly bc one idol i've seen before was acting in it #it's a tv movie basically. i think it's part of a series but the kind of thing you can watch without knowing anything. #i am in the middle of watching it but i had to stop for dinner and before i went back to watch it i checked its tag on pixiv #i had seen a huge spoiler before watching this drama #so basically: among the plot lines #from what i've read #there is this one about this very shy painter who is in love with a fellow painter #the shy painter of course doesn't confess his feelings and eventually ends up dead #more specifically: killed #held in the arms of the man he loves (i think the other isn't aware of his feelings) #ANYWAY #i thought: i wonder if someone has written fic for it #AND YES #700+ works for this specific ship. #but this is still pretty normal. it has been aired in january. it's not a mindblowing huge amount of works. #BUT THEN I LOOK CLOSER #ALMOST THE ENTIRE TAG IS FILLED BY WORKS OF ONE. SINGLE. PERSON. #someone has been writing nonstop with a rythm of almost three works per day #i am. amazed. pixiv user JADE (49yo woman from shiga prefecture according to her profile) i bow in awe to you #i'm not joking. #like. they appear to be usually in the 1.5k-2.5k range in character count #which would be approx. 600-1k words in english. but this person has been churning them out 2-3 times per day. #FOR MONTHS #the level of dedication. #personal

[bigdickevans]

not to bring us politics into my fucking redlettermedia sideblog but we need to genuinely assassinate the rep members of the supr

#not gonna finish the sentence out of fear of getting on some list #but you know what i mean #i'm not joking. #we need to find where they live and vandalize their homes #break their fucking windows #they need to be afraid #so many underprivileged people are suffering from this #and the suffering is only going to grow

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[seriousturd]

#tumblr polls #random polls #poll time #i love looking at usernames and wondering what it MEANS #so many of you guys have such cool sounding usernames #i just picked random words i like LMAO #serious because people always see me as super serious irl (i'm just a very anxious perfectionist lol) #and turd because i have the sense of humor of a toddler and think poop jokes are funny

[lastoneout]

Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

#this is the real cringe behavior #also you'll get reported if you do this it's actually against the rules #why do you want to do that?? #I've never felt the need to say that to anyone ever #is there a joke I'm missing out on like wtf is wrong with you #twitter #twitterpocalypse #suicide mention #ask to tag

[crabussy]

reblog for a larger sample size and to reduce sample bias!!

#IF ITS NOT CLEAR THIS IS A JOKE POLL #I'm poking lighthearted fun at all the clearly biased polls that go around on this website #many of which were made by yours truly #e.g. the queer/not queer polls #like its tumblr. you are not looking at the general population #anyway its all in good fun ^_^ #unreality

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[tittyinfinity]

I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.

She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.

My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.

But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.

We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!

You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.

Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.

#her name was Kara which we joked about bc I came with my other friend named Kara and we were at the Kara-oke bar lol #i told her about how last time i was hit on at that same bar was ALSO by another woman named Kara #she said ''i need to find a man to transition right now so we can have more karas'' 🤣😭 she was so great lol #and I'm texting another friend named Kara right now😭 soon everyone will be Kara #transmisogyny tw #.bdo