#id love to do that actually

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[toonheartz]

[ID: A reference image for a blue version of Mickey Mouse.

Their name is Mick, and they're wearing a black hoodie with the hood down, and a sleeveless denim jacket over it. The front of the jacket is covered in many pins, like the trans pride flag, the genderfluid flag, a black patch that says "the first pride was a riot", an ambiguous shape with a red crossed out symbol over it, a watermelon, the autism creature, and a small black patch that is cut off due to the angle, reading "eat the".

The back of the jacket has the Public Domain symbol, white a lower case C on a black background that is crossed out, with ears at the top to match Mick.

They are holding a dark blue offset cane, and have band aids on their leg, nose, and one finger.

Text around her says:

-any pronouns -soft spoken but stands up for their friends -fucks around and finds out -being of pure spite

Back patch should always be the public domain symbol with ears

Feel free to swap patches in the same theme or omit them for simplicity

Uses cane for balance, relieving pressure on his legs, and whacking people

Bandaids are optional and can be any color / placed anywhere (she's very clumsy)."

The very bottom of the page has the hashtag, "mickeysona".

End ID.]

lil something to celebrate the mouse entering the public domain :]

#mickey mouse #toon #actually disabled #public domain #mickeysona #gotta draw something ✏️ #hope the disabled tag is ok since i gave him my disabilities lol #would love to see more disabled mickeysonas though #lets confuse the hell out of disney execs. hopefully #*also yes yes i know its only steamboat willie mickey but theres still a LOT you can do with that #TY rjalker for the image id!! i'm still figuring out how to write those #also the crossed out thing is an “ambiguous shape” bc i dont know if tumblr will delete it for the actual common patch #...even if its like against yknow. not sees

[bottombaron]

So, I'm going to either make this joke more or less funny by explaining it, Colin Robinson-style:

Nandor isn't being an idiot by misspelling 'knowledge', he's spelling it phonetically.

Why? Well, it's probably not just that English is a horrendous abomination sent by god to punish us and an even worse trail for English learners either, but Persain is a (mostly) phonetic language!

This means each letter has a corresponding sound and words are phonetic in spelling (again, for the most part), unlike 'knowledge' in English where there are like...at least three?? unnecessary extra letters.

So, what's the phonetic spelling of 'knowledge' look like?

nolij

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor #nandor the relentless #wwdits spoilers #and if you're like but he reads! id be like yeah i was the best k-12 reader in my county 3 years running #and i still flunked every spelling test i ever had #because the english language is a terrible terrible language i wish it never cursed us bleh #anyways Nandor is a big dumb dumb who is actually well-read and i love that abt him #my perfect himbo #(i mean he still wrote it with an 'e' instead of an 'i' but thats probably because he pronpunces it with a strong 'eh' sound) #(*pronounces) #(fUCK)

[brother-emperors]

revisiting crassus, clodius, and the bona dea scandal! but this time with a new composition and a limited color palette

originally when I drew the first version of this idea, it was back when I thought that crassus would be a week long fixation at most (lmao), and instead he just. took up permanent residence in my mind. it seemed like a fun thing to go back to an earlier idea and see what changed now that I've spent a lot more time with everyone involved in this era!

also the way these two interlocked politically. I am. biting into it.

The Defeat of Rome: Crassus, Carrhae and the Invasion of the East, Gareth C. Sampson

Crassus: the First Tycoon, Peter Stothard

Crassus: A Political Biography, B. A. Marshall

Crassus, Clodius, and Curio in the Year 59 B.C., Robert J Rowland, Jr.

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

#for example. i even know who catulus and caelius are now. i did Not know who the fuck they were when i drew the original one #now im like. wow. those sure were some allegations. goddamn #i forgot that ive drawn crassus and clodius fucking before. i'll revisit that someday. ANYWAY. time for some organizational tags #marcus licinius crassus #publius clodius pulcher #roman republic tag #do i. have a tag for the bona dea scandal. i should #drawing tag #ALSO the first tycoon book. it's not a good reference point. i disagree with uhhh like a good third of it. BUT it is an EXTREMELY sexy #read. i would love an HBO show using this book as a point of inspiration. im not kidding. id watch it so fast #i was reading something that implied clodius role in the bona dea scandal was actually partially crassus' machinations #to undermine both caesar AND pompey. and once i finish digesting THAT thought. i will. draw a comic probably

[venomgaia]

Yield That Thang

#driftoodles #limbus company #Meursault #Dante #ANOTHER ONE #i love all of meursaults ids but Blade Lineage has been the most fun so far #bc he refuses to actually do his job right and still loops around to being awesome #ik theres the joke of 'the manager told him [joke] so he did' #but in my situation im imagining dante weeping bc instead od losing a clash meursault has deemed it more efficient to just SQUARE UP #and start rockin people's worlds harder. i mean it gets the job done ig #i keep saying im done but i think ill be done for now. #i have. more important stuff to work on shortly.

[liquidstar]

this is not a comprehensive list

#in order from left to right (with explanations): #k on #(self explanatory. definition of moe.) #a place further than the universe #(theyre at least a little insane for going all the way to antarctica for funsies) #bocchi the rock #(good mix of insane and sweet. most of the insane parts come from bocchi herself) #nichijou #(literally so much happened all the time) #and asobi asobase #(they did do arson) #i haven't seen azumanga daioh or yuru camp and i never finished lucky star #but based on what i know abt the first two id put it... azumanga between bocchi and nichijou. and yuru camp with or after k on #and from what i remember abt lucky star its also just after k on #a bit quirkier but nothing ever really happens in it. as far as i watched. which is why i stopped watching LOL #but thats all assumptions and second hand knowledge so i figured i shouldnt actually include them unless i was SURE #i also thought abt putting asteroid in love in here too but that one is a bit more niche so i left it out #i also excluded any idol shows bc that feels like a different category. and would make this too long #sorry zombieland saga and love live.... #i also excluded straight up yuri. this is more abt Hanging Out than romance. but some is allowed as long as its not the focal point #like kita in btr. shes very yuri but the show isnt about that #you could probably also put is the order a rabbit on here but idr much from that. i think i watched like 3 episodes umm 100 years ago #i also thought abt putting the highschool girls segments from daily lives of highschool boys here. but they arent in most of the show #tho theyd probably go between nichijou and asobi asobase. or maybe on par w nichijou #that one girl did almost kill the other two with a rock as im sure youve all seen

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[ryllen]

#mtas #my time at sandrock #mtas wei #mtas builder #fanart #i found my true love target ; v ; #the smiling type is the ones that truly snatch my heart #they bring me the utmost joy #as much ironic it is unsuur makes me unsure of the rest of the stage after confession #i just thought i marry him in case the builder parents come and there would be some kind of scene over it like in portia #till the very last minute my heart was somehow still half in about it #tho in the game unsuur is read very close as 'unsure' i actually pronounce it differently bcs it's close to something in my language #unsur : means element; i thought that's nice bcs it feels closely to rock related thing #https://translate.google.com/?sl=id&tl=en&text=unsur&op=translate #if anyone even interest the slightest on how it sounds when pronounced by me here's the google translate link #but yea i'm dying that it is literally being pronounced 'unsure' #pls help him he just needs to be given a chance to command so he can learn to do independent thinking from experience #like yeah probably there would be lots of mistake at first #but u're like a mom justice who decides everything for the child so when u ask the child they just be like don't know ask mom fshdshd #he needs to be put out there #or had that been done justice if so i am sorry ; v ; #but seriously i'm dying when i kept adventuring with justice and logan and unsuur was just told to wait like a puppy fhsdh #he needs to be taught how to decide things by himself seriously #it's honestly hard to write unsuur's character #like no matter how u tried somehow it doesn't feel as close as funny or as serious deadpan like the original #wei here is like a piece of white paper i can scribble whatever i want #it's unexpected #but i ended up liking wei

[codgod]

oh yeah here’s some stuff i drew last night that i forgot about

#.jpg #qsmp #qsmp slime #slimecicle #qsmp mariana #el mariana #slimeriana #qrystal gems #fanart #no image id #i love drawing qrystal gem au slimeriana i really should do that more #idk i’m bad at actually thinking of things to draw for aus lol #that’s why there’s like 3 zombie apoc au drawings despite me thinking abt that au constantly #idk if i need to tag something for slimes cleavage in that first one btw #mariana’s got it covered. literally

[comradekatara]

i love my best friends yangchen, kavik, yangchen's evil foil, and kavik's evil foil <3

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #chronicles of the avatar #the legacy of yangchen #spoilers for the end of legacy btw. sorry #yangchen #kavik #kalyaan #chaisee #kavikxyangchen #chaiseexkalyaan #AUs #(not tagging this modern au bc that would conflict w the atla modern au which is separate but also i do have an entire separate modern au #that is kavik & yangchen and kyoshi & rangi and korra & asami as a college friendgroup. bc i think that is funny. ask me about it) #anyway. i love them #art #mart #would just dedicate this blog to yangchen fully if more than like 2 people had actually read these books. and i mean that

[buwheal]

No asks today but as an apology here's the spam I doodled on my to-do list. Goodnight.

#Actually helped me drink more water believe it or not #id glance over and be like “oh yeah i have to do that huh” #maybe i should just start doing that to remember things lmao #He's pointing at my tasks but youre not gonna get to see those. nuh-uh. :fingerwag: /j #so fucking lame i didnt get to work on the asks today... i was planning it out too i was so excited... wtf.... 😭😭 #hes so shaped i love him #goodnight ACTUALLY for real now #spamton

[candyje11yfish]

frostyfest frye fryefest frost festyfrye frost fryefrost fest festyfrost frye frostyfrye fest 😵‍💫

#splatoon #frye #frye onaga #frye splatoon #frostyfest #frosty fest #is there a space???? idk #splatfest #frostyfest frye #deep cut #id in alt text #Stop do not look at her hand :( #splatoon 3 #i tried a completely different way of drawing for this #i put colours down first then shaded/rendered/whatverucallit and Then put lineart #it was rlly fun actually i love the messy style #mari's art

[blended-ice]

scribbly viktor and makkachin! 🌻

#this is VERY messy I am getting back into the swing of drawing rn #life was busy and I may have dislocated my thumb? #I’m rly sad because I had several ideas for drawings and comics I could post for Halloween and I didn’t get to do ANY OF THEM #alas ok anyways uhh actually pertinent tag time now #id in alt text #yuri on ice #yoi #viktor nikiforov #fanart #peas n guac #makkachin #I love giant doggo makka

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

now this one was an absolute Blast to do!

outfit is once again from @chocolategothwolfhorse, whose ask is full of bangers

#took some.... whats it called... dreamcore? weirdcore? #well i took inspo from those i think #its a Vibe i enjoy a lot #ive very lightly dabbled in it before but with this one i kinda leaned into it #never underestimate the power of using Real Images #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #julie joyful #HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE JULIE YET??? BC I DO #she's so pretty.... #me? having a crush on a puppet? its more likely than you think #id never be able to handle her tho she's too Powerful #she'd say hi to me and i'd be blasted clean off the face of the earth #nothing left but a red smear with heart-shaped glitter stuck to it #actually no not glitter i have Personal Beef with glitter. lets make it confetti #or sprinkles... holy shit yeah sprinkles.... red smear w/ sprinkles #the fish-shaped ones you get with the funfetti blue icing #yknow when i was younger i made a cake and i individually placed each fish sprinkle - sprish - onto the icing #which i styled in the shape of ocean waves #very insane behavior of me! or just autistic... #i love looking back on my life and going 'hey wait. huh. hm. well.' and then i put another penny in the autism jar #yeehaw and may i say hawyee

[chrisrin]

half the song’s boards are preeettyy much done! (YIPPEE!!) later half is going to be more action-y and dynamic (MANIFESTING) so itll prolly take me longer but im on solid pace rn with it

#chris animates #dave strider #hs #homestuck #song is slow motion by luke wild! #once i finish the boards im Actually Going to Do Pre Production Stuff I Shouldve Before Boarding #like i need to make a proper character turnaround #id like to tackle doing a color script too? #and i gotta do some render shot tests for what the final compositing + stuff will look like #i have no idea what vibe im going to go for w the bgs yet #and using light composites on an ffffff white character is gonna be Tricky #but i love a challenge