#idek it sucks man but

[leofrith]

lol remember when eivor was like "i will not be captive to another man's gaudy design. my destiny is mine to weave." and then she. proceeded to be captive to a man's idea of what she should be and did not, in fact, weave her own destiny because she was too busy following the old god in her head despite having previously expressed blatant disinterest (and that's putting it mildly) in doing so. and then after finally finding safety and comfort among her people after a lifetime of scrounging and clawing for every ounce of happiness she ever got she then proceeded to die alone on the opposite side of an ocean from everyone who ever loved her and who she loved in return.

#normal and not at all ooc!! nothing to see here!!! #are we all just being hit by The Rage at the same time? cause that's what it feels like lmao #hahaha girlbonding (gn) #i don't remember who it was but someone said something that i'm definitely about to misquote #about the way that this ending makes more sense for male eivor (havi) than canon eivor #like a man who decides to abandon everything in the pursuit of knowledge with his past self who was also a dude? yeah sure! whatever #still sucks!! but i can almost see it #but eivor spending the rest of her life obsessing over her past life in which she was a man? feels bad!! #and they could have done some really interesting stuff with exploring eivor's relationship with her gender (gnc king) but they didn't #this was not that. like it was very clearly not written with that intent #and eivor abandoning everyone she loves in service of havi's own ends denies eivor agency in a way that feels soooo fucking gross #and it reeks of 'man writes ending for a character arc that would make sense for a male character' #idek if i'm making sense but like once again #i never wanted or expected a perfectly happy ending for her but jesus christ i feel like not wanting her to end up alone was not a tall ask #ac valhalla #eivor varinsdottir #eivor varinsdóttir #ky posts text #ac.txt

[itafushin]

in lmkverse, female macaque demons would probably think mac is hotter than swk because they’re attracted to red facial markings, the darker red and more widespread, the better lol

hi its 7 in the morning and this is so random it made me giggle so much because i immediately thought of some female demons trying to flirt with macaque and wukong being all >:O >:( about it. dude gets tunnel vision and can not see the fact that macaque is very obviously not interested in them

#🏮 #shadow talks #i mean macs an attractive guy #so it only makes sense #sucks for the ladies though because mans gay as hell #idek what im saying i am so tired i should not be up this early #shadowpeach #i love protective wukong sm though #hed slide up and interrupt a conversation macs having and be like 'EXCUSE ME' really loudly and the girl macs talking to is like #'omg my king!' and wukongs over here nodding really fast like 'yes yes as your king i order you to stop talking to this man' #and when the girl asks why wukong gets all nervous cuz he does not want to admit he got jealous in front of mac #SORRY i put way too much in the tags sometimes idk if yall read these

[dockaspbrak]

A big thank you to my mutuals who like my nervous breakdown 2-4am posts. You're the backbone of my blog

#its like im not completely alone #idk #what losing a cat does to a woman i guess but #lets be real i was like this before #im just a sad person who laments more than takes action and #i think ill be sad forever probably #in that way some people are #i feel like im one reality over from where im supposed to be yakno? #i used to have this image id hold onto of leaves in the sunlight when i was a kid and i kept waiting for someone to talk to me who #would take me wherever that was #maybe thats the nature of never fitting in u get too in your head and then #reality doesnt feel like home #yeah ive heard people say shit like that sbout books #sorry im not wearing my glasses #lately days blend together and i feel like i cant hold into time #and people talking to me (when they do) sounds miles away #takes ages to get to me if it does at all #oops! sounds like im dissociating hahahahaah oh fuck #when u write it all out. stares at ya right in the face #if im not doing something it feels like my anxiety will latch onto anything #like. rn i feel like im gonna throw up bc of like 5 different things about my car #car insurance. registration. trying to find a job #then it spirals into what ifs. and how thatd suck #constantly this shit. constantly! the only reprieve is going to hang w my grandmother who is 90 and talking about death a lot #😵‍💫 #but shes my best friend so ???! fuck! #man idk. im so sad. idek what to do abt this. work out #maybe get a new actor to have a crush on #what makes people happy? idk

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #once again yearning but not willing to do anything about it :))))))))) #i was FINE until i had to talk about it last night. i didnt Expect to talk about it. oh god oh god #but then HHHHHHH i hate that i talk about it so much. and i KNOE the answer is to just tell him i like him #or to ask him out but !!!!@@ #im not ready !!! #i need to get a job first. like im so serious Zbfjfjdjdjjd #bc if i tell him or ask him... REGARDLESS of his answer. o im gonna be distracted #and i will not have my future ruined by a guy. nooo fuckin WAY. #and like !!@@ hes working so much anyway. like we're talkin unpaid overtime #but hes hung out with me (and other ppl) twice regardless.... but still HDJDJDJFJ #ugh idk #im so tired of thinking about this #im worried i'll ruin my chances the more i dont act. but its like.... GOD IDK. i like him so much its like. debilitating ???????? #is that the right word idk #i just.... i think im not ready #and if he moves on then ok that sucks but then at least i'll have an answer....???? #god idek #and like one of my friends got asked out by 2 different guys n im like HFJFJJFJFJDJDJDJDJ #GOD. this man is never gonna ask me out. like i think hes Shy. im so. IDK. im also older. like. i think im gonna have to make th3 move #but i wanna be SURE about it. bc like relationships are scary #and i dont wanna start something im not ready for #im kinda hoping that things will happen 'naturally' like they have all along hhhhhhhh

[sadstarsz]

“time for bed mozzer” is something i think about daily

#shitpost #the smiths #morrisey #morrisey sucks lolsies #time for bed mozzer #time for bed #idek #how do i tag this #random #idfk man

[armafidelium]

extends legy if we've written & u wanna be on le bonds part of carrd like mayhap

#● ☾ ⭑ 𝗠ᵒᵒᶰˡᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵛᶤᵍᶤˡ ( ooc ) #// lmfao what is my grammar idek man my english has sucked today #// but yeah wheeze the last time i did up a page for bonds/whatnot was like my old ai blog #// and i think taht was like 2016-2017 when i did that so wheeze #// y e a h h h #// i guess mayhap also a mains kinda thingie too? i don't know hwo to word fam #// my brain power went all into angsty aphelios art

[yakamozarda]

I have like. Two clear options ahead of me in case I get a remote job:

Stay in hometown, dont pay rent or utilities but be bored out of mind with only 2 friends in the city that i see occasionally? Basically save money till i can get a job abroad

Or move to capital, progress my relationship with the Guy I Am Seeing That I Am Starting to Like Too Much, dont save as much money but be in a central location where i can Do Stuff, Have Fun etc, and just. Enjoy life instead of getting ready for the Next Thing and go abroad when i get a job there.

Im v conflicted bc at one hand saving money would be nice but at the other hand. I will be bored to death here. And im tired of getting ready to the next milestone jfkfjkfbf

#cecil.txt #He is very persuasive..... Willing to cook wants to learn new skills with me GET A DOG...... #Idek man #Im tired of trying to reach the Next Goal or whatever the fuck and dont look forward to moving abroad yet #Like yes turkey sucks but i wanna stay in my comfort zone for a while and chill tbh

[cringelordofchaos]

iam failing all my classes but I've been told I'm good at analyzing and explaining fictional characters behaviour is that worth anything

#i love analyzing characters in mt head #too bad im wayyy to lazy to lut it down in words #but when i do manage to get it out i receive compliments mkst of the time <3 #i thonk i have fucking adhd man idek anymore #i feel like i just loce hyperanalyzing my obsessions cuz they moght actually be hyperfixations #but i sure suck at school cuz i aint interested in sll that crap #yknow what? im gonna buy a canera and start recording my rambmings bc im too lazy to write down my thoughts #i cant and won't do it on my phone cuz i already wasted 99% of my space (literally /gen)

[lecliss]

You and tales of crestoria 🤝 me and final fantasy record keeper

I think they killed mine bc it was unprofitable (it was so so so ineffective to put real money into <3<3<3) and unpopular, but they really should've considered that i, the most important bird in the world, enjoyed it. Or some other reason that i could probably google *shrug

I miss it every day 💔💔💔🐦

Duuuuude, I played Record Keeper for a bit when it was new!!!!! I heard it was just the global version that shut down but the JP version is still going, so yeah, global probably just wasn't making enough money to be worth running. So, ya know. RK's still kinda alive but ToC is dead and buried. Lmao, not to diminish the RK situation cuz I'm sure restarting on JP would just absolutely not be worth the hassle so definitely still kind of a Lost Lenore.

I kinda wish Opera Omnia would consider adding characters from the other FF mobile games cuz there's untapped potential there. Like add Tyro at least for RK rep. And Wol from Mobius FF, which I also miss a lot!!!! I don't want Mobius to ever be forgotten. Plus the BE crew, but that's the only one that's shockingly still going strong. Meanwhile Square's adding TikTok influencers to Be:WotV, so :/

Man this sent me down a rabbit hole of other Square mobile games. I played both Valkyrie Anatomia: The Origin and Star Ocean: Anamnesis without knowing anything about the original series but I loved those games and they didn't really last longer than 2-3 years. Plus the global server for SINoALICE either shutdown within the last week or is shutting down real soon. Even the JP server is being rumored to shut down relatively soon, but idk if that's willingly or not cuz they're supposedly taking their time to wrap up the story at least.

Both Square and Bamco just seem so bad at keeping most of their gachas alive. And years of constantly having good gachas I like getting shutting down has really given me a fear for all of them that I play. I genuinely don't believe Ever Crisis is gonna last more than a year and everyday I play Star Rail I'm afraid it's suddenly gonna bomb suddenly and get shut down. Tho Hoyoverse seems real good about that not happening with their games, but still when I see people say HSR is dipping it makes me a little paranoid and I gotta remind myself they just got bored and wanna find a reason to justify it.

Like honestly, I know mobile games get a lot of shit for how many of them are low quality and the massive amount of gachas that want your money from your gambling addiction, but I love the genre so much. I've found so many good games that are gachas and it sucks that the state/economy/whatever of the genre is so so fragile that the slightest dip in sales means it's existence has to be ripped out of the universe regardless of how good it may be. It's not like they stop selling it but you still have your copy like it's a console game or you can just emulate it once it closes. When it's gone, it's gone. People can record cutscenes and rip models and assets, but you can never play it again. At least thank god for those one-in-a-million games that leave up offline versions when they shutdown, but in all my life of mobile gaming I've only seen two, KHUX and Tokimeki Idol.

Anyway sorry to ramble on about the topic, I'm just feeling mega sad now about it all and I don't know what could possibly be done to like, make the mobile game scene better? At least about this issue. But I doubt anything ever would be done in terms of not losing games forever anyway.

#i miss priconne too. i saved up so much in that game. barely ever pulled. #i had thousands saved. most ive ever saved in a gacha. i wanted beach mimi and vampy and other costumes. and then it just quietly shut down. #none of that currency ever used. jp's still going tho but i think last i heard its not doing the best so whats the point in playing jp #the first gacha i ever played got shut down i think earlier this year #i just found out a couple days ago that exos heroes shutdown a couple months ago #idek what the state of brave nine is after the second game got released and im afraid to find out #like yeah yeah i know gambling practices whatever. but have you considered some of them are genuinely good games so much love crafted #into them and the creators just wanted to make something beautiful like many other console and pc games out there? #it fuckin sucks man. i fucking hate capitalism. #im sure im derailing! sorry bird! just. god. video games ya know #ask #personal

[giverofempathy]

sooooo fucking sleepy but i have to keep working on these goddamned sketches

#salisha speaks #finished drawing them NOW I NEED TO COLOUR THEM IN #idek how the fuck im gonna DRAW TIE DYE EFFECT #i guess i gotta use watercolours?? idk man #gonna make copies of my sketches first to make sure i have the basis intact lol imagine me ruining it #by colouring it in that would SUCK #its almost 9pm i hope i can be finished before 10 so i can still get a decent amount of sleep #just wanna do this asap but i also dont wanna rush it but idk man

[bvbbl3p0p]

can someone please explain to me how 11yo me wrote this????

like maybe i’m blowing it out of proportion but this is like. amazing in comparison to the other shit i wrote. like wtf?? where did that come from?????

#writing #idek man #like #the rest of this story sucks but this? #this is a good line #inkpost

[indigodawns]

.

#i feel so restleeeeess like i wanna make something but idek what like idk write a fic bc i have a bunch of emotions #or i wanna like. i don't know. make a gifset??? i've never done that before i wouldn't know how #i wanna skip 20 levels and be fluent in korean!!! finally picking it back up bc the past year was rly just. getting by man #and it sucks but im back to the basics. might as well. at least it's less daunting this time around yk #i think what i really need is to sit next to yoongi for a few hours. maybe hold his hand for a bit yknow? #also i know i have a thesis to write but. tomorrow. #(and a yoongi docu to watch and iu's palette with him and and. soon?) #(anyways. finally downloaded everything ttmik for real so let's try it like this)

[miutonium]

If you asked me I actually feel kinda depressed especially after knowing the situation with the merger and HBO Max removing all of the animated shows from their catalogue. I tryna be okay, I really want to, its been a hard month for me but knowing how corporate just simply removing all the shows that I watched when I was growing up and shows that I watched just for comfort for the sake of tax cut makes me feel extremely sad. Now what am I going to look up for?

#asuka speaks #idek the future for cartoon network too this fucking sucks man #such a nice thing to find out before sleep huh?

[shari-ya]

the love-hate relationship with yourself this world puts you in for being a sensitive slash emotional person is sooo crazy. like wow, to be able to feel everything so deeply, so sincerely, it’s such a gift! oh, what a blessing it is to be able to find happiness without digging too deep into things! but it’s also like: the thing you said to me so nonchalantly, it will keep bothering me for a while now, sorry if i look a bit fazed (also, it’s not your fault, please don’t think of it as your fault.) on some days, i feel like a goddess for wearing empathy around me as my own skin. and on others, i can’t help but feel like a miserable loser. tears sitting around the corner of my eyes, always ready to topple when overwhelmed.

this person once said to me that i write too much about love, about hope, about kindness hidden in the mundane, about things that are happy, bright and pretty. almost as if it's the only thing existing, the only topic i know my way around. but what it actually meant was it's silly to be writing mostly about this one side while i'm constantly clinging to the other. what that person actually meant was if i continue to project my poems around love too much, i will someday end up hurting myself. i remember being utterly embarrassed. i also remember those words that almost fell out of my tongue in its response. but since it wasn't a question, i decided not to answer.

it sucks being an emotional mess who just wants to be adored and in return, adore with the force of a hundred stars. it sucks, it sucks so bad. but it feels so good, it feels so good to see the world through my "rose-tinted" glasses (while i am also aware of the fact that not everyone has theirs on). yes, i might end up getting hurt but i will feel so many beautiful emotions before getting scarred. isn't that worth it? isn't it one of the greatest, if not the sole reason, to be alive for? to live, to love, to fall out of love, to fall apart and to fall in love all over again?

better safe than sorry, they say. but i don't want to be saved this way.

being emotional is not weak because if you ask me, the strength it takes to carry the burden of feeling too much is quite crazy. and just like that, being nice and expecting niceness in return does not equate to being naive. and even if it does, what's there to be so weirded out about? none of us know if this is my first life or if i have lived in a hundred more before. but i sure do know that here, in this one, this is what i want. let me try being this way.

#on being a sensitive person #it sucks sometimes #and like idk man im sorry #but this is what keeps me alive yk being focused on the prettier side of the things is what keeps me going #also #j hate being emotional #love hate relationship #words #writeblr #its all over the place ik idek what im talking about jm sorrry #ALSO #i am NOT weak i am NOT WEAK #I HATE U FOR CALLING ME WEAK I AM NOT WEAK #personal #writers and poets #spilled prose #prose poetry #prose #wtv #rant #monolouge

[llycaons]

literally so many reconciliation fics are like. wwx goes and loiters near LP like a sad yet hopeful puppy. jc shows up and goes 'you stupid fucking asshole, you were responsible for the deaths of my entire family and I hate you. you're disgusting also. don't you dare think about showing any physical affection towards your husband, who I also hate, in front of me because I will literally vomit. of course I don't hate gay people. how could you say that. how dare you come here. okay come in and have some food. you asshole. shut up. I will break your legs' and then he physically shoves him or something and wwx is happy about this? he's almost crying he's like like 'aw man you really do love me I belong here' happy family times are assumed to commence end fic. I can't do this anymore

#stop babying a 35 year old man PLEASE #im of the bold opinion that jc is responsible for his actions #and maybe if he wants to have a relationship with someone he's mistreated in the past he should maybe act better towards him #radical though ik.... #also the homophobia is constant and SO casual and glossed over. like actually I think pretending to vomit when his gay brother #holds hands with his husband is extremely rude and meant to make them ashamed and uncomfortable #maybe he should try to not do that since he apparently loves wwx SO MUCH #idek if he's a younger sibling that shit sucks and in a homophobic setting its really not funny #like 'oh he's just like that' well if he's just like that then wwx has zero reason to seek reconciliation with him #he can't be whining about being left all alone when he refuses to change his behavior and remains this shitty... #there is a difference between being prickly/abrasive and just hurling physical and verbal abuse around #and then demanding emotional labor from others in order to stop being sad and angry. like jc makes his emotions everyone else's problem #cql txp

[yuureimajo]

.

#listen i get it. i really really do. because wildfire smoke messes me up really bad #it makes my cough even worse than usual and it sets off my panic response on a slowly building explosion #but like. i've never seen people be more self-absorbed about a wildfire situation than people from new york rn - #(and it does only seem to be new york - none of the other states in that area even though there must be smoke in other places too) #- complaining about the wildfire smoke from canada #i realise it's difficult and awful but to say shit like ''thanks a lot canada'' or ''shout out to canada for ruining my day'' ... #or act like your life is the one most affected by this ... it's just so ignorant idek what to say about it #i promise you the people of quebec and ontario and nova scotia are having a worse time than you rn #i've never seen people act like this about it before it's so weird??? #like when we get smoke here in BC from california/oregon/washington or vice versa #i've only ever seen people on either side of the border react with sympathy for what the other side is going through at that time #and horror at how bad the fires or weather are #but i've been seeing or hearing abt posts on every socmed out there from new yorkers complaining about the smoke there #and like i said i get it! trust me i complain about wildfire smoke every year!! it sucks!! #but i don't *blame* the place it's coming from??? #idk man to me it's so rude #like just shut up honestly