#idk im just frustrated and bored

[vestboyfriends]

okay but if steve and eddie were never going to happen how did they end up being perfect for each other anyway. i can get behind a couple of coincidences but like... eddie is the perfect synthesis of the only two people steve has ever showed a somewhat serious romantic interest in: nancy and robin, by sharing looks and passion with nancy, and by being all the stuff steve proclaimed to hate about robin. hell, even the speech steve gives to robin in the bathroom to confess his feelings for her aligns perfectly with eddie's whole persona and the relationship they had in highschool.

not only this, but pretty much all of their interactions have some sort of... ambiguity, to them, that makes me ponder. it's all about the little and accidental things though, so nothing major, but still there; steve trying to act cool in front of him (the way he acts when he repeats the "girl with superpower" bit to eddie when they're at skull rock, the entirety of the boat scene in lover's lake), eddie pouring his heart out to steve in the upside down and telling him what he exactly needs to hear, which is that steve's actually a good person, steve almost doing the same, telling eddie he's not a coward ("give yourself a break, man") before eddie interrupts him, all the little smiles and the long stares and glances... honestly i could go on and on.

all the parallels between eddie and robin are really interesting as well. the way eddie's talk with chrissy very much does kind of parallels the one robin has with steve inside the russian base... yeah. a lot of food for thought

and it's weird, because there's so much more i can talk about, but it's useless because they are all random coincidences. it's weird because steve and eddie work so well together for a number of reasons i didn't even mention here but they weren't meant to. so what i'm supposed to do with that?

#the answer is: im writing a big steddie analysis just to drop all the thoughts i have somewhere and try to make sense of them #yes i write analyses for fun what about it #big big rant #idk im just frustrated and bored #steddie #text

[shakingparadigm]

hold on, hold on im losing my mind a little over that information. you’re saying ivan is basically the scumbag gong in chinese novels who dates people bc he’s bored and spends a majority of his time just thinking about his white moonlight till lmaoo

I mean, I'm not sure if scumbag gong is the right term (absolutely hilarious though) but Ivan was definitely one hell of a guy. Q and V call him prince charming for a reason (Mizi does too). Them specifically stating "if he was bored enough"... what kind of shit are you doing while bored my guy 😭

#despite q and v going on to state that ivan manipulated other people #id like to think he was pretty respectful with the people he “dated” #his heart was just obviously not in it and after the other person realized they could not make a connection theyd give up in frustration #cause you know. he was fucking bored #and he devoted his heart to someone else long ago #Prince charming huh.... prince charming....... #how do they feel about their prince charming after round 6.... #also idk if im allowed to share more patreon info on here if im not pls feel free to tell me to take down #day 1 of dating ivan!! hes the perfect boyfriend!! #day 12 of dating ivan. i think he is just tolerating me #alnst #alien stage #alien stage ivan #asks

[bunnihearted]

im depressed in a way that makes me unable to get into or enjoy anything and that's making me feel frustrated and unable to relax bc i cant escape into something and distract myself from the pain

#like i dont have a show im watching.. i've tried 7 different ones and i watch like 10mins and then im like nah :/ #and i switch to the next one... but that one isnt good enough either lol. so i just dont care enough to get into any of them #and it's the same with games.. i cant choose just one to watch. i get bored by any gameplay i try to watch #books too... trying to read books but with all of them im like meh :/// #!!!!!! going crazy #im just the kind of person who NEEDS to have my current show/book/gameplay bc that is my only comfort in life #but i cant find anything that is fun bc im simply too depressed to like or care abt anything >.< #i get this general unrest and frustration when i dont have my moment of just settling down and relaxing and escaping into whatever media #so that makes me even more miserable and unhappy yikes 🥴 i hate everything rn im so unhappy and everything's a mess & idk what to do abt it

[hecksupremechips]

When I think about Mizuki in aini it’s like, I know something is just so off about her but I have trouble articulating it. It’s really frustrating cuz she was like my favorite character in the first game and when I play the first game I feel like I have a really good idea of who she is as a character. Like she acts strong and and hangs out with people much older than her and has to take on a fuck ton of responsibility but she’s also just a kid she cuddles with a rabbit toy she raises fish in the fridge she can be kinda gullible in the way that kids are and she doesn’t always understand more mature jokes. She acts sassy and hostile towards Date but she’s described as kinda and compassionate by Hitomi and she defends the weak and loves her friends deeply and thinks Aiba is cute. She pokes fun at Date for being grumpy at the shrine and then excitedly holds his hand and drags him over to the offering box to pray for his safety and she gets scared when there’s danger and she hugs Date for comfort but then tries to brush it off because she was taught to feel shame whenever she required basic attention and affection. She was hurt badly by her biological family and finds herself at home with Date despite her fears of him not caring for her. Like she’s a really solid well rounded character with strengths and weaknesses and her story makes me feel every possible emotion known to man

Then I play aini and I was soooo excited to see that Mizuki was gonna be a protagonist and that she had Aiba (its what made me buy the game immediately after finishing the first game lol) and then like. I honestly can’t tell you a damn thing about her character in aini. Like she’s the protagonist for half that game and I can’t think of any particular struggles she has as a character or like any moments where she stands out. It’s like, I know this is Mizuki she has the same basic features of that character but she’s not really given much? And anything new you learn about her is just like, retcons of her already established and well written backstory that just. Really didn’t need to be made and honestly they just kinda do a disservice to her character

Like first off there’s the Bibi twist which. Oof. I have some pretty complicated feelings about Bibi in general like okay. When she appears as the masked woman I was totally on board and thought she was really interesting and I was so prepared for her to be a favorite character her somnium is probably my favorite one in the game. And then she was revealed to be Mizuki. And it was revealed that we were playing as her for half of the B side of the story and we didn’t know it. Like, where to even begin. They stopped writing Bibi as her own character and she pretty much just became Mizuki except idk, she has a bigger grudge against Ryuki and has a heart condition I guess. And like I think it really speaks to how flat Mizuki was in this game if we can play as two completely different characters and have them be indistinguishable. Bibi shouldn’t be anything like Mizuki, they’ve lived completely different lives. And I hate the clone twist like good god I really hate the clone twist because IT ADDS NOTHING TO MIZUKIS CHARACTER OR HER CONFLICT. In fact it like, actively goes against her arc from the first game??? Cuz like half the point of Date and Mizuki’s relationship is there to show that family isn’t what you’re born with, it’s what you make. Both Date and Mizuki feel like their little family can’t exist because they’ve been taught, like most of us have, that biological family is the most important and real and valid way to have a family. You’re supposed to love and respect your biological parents because they MADE you, and Date has to live with the anguish that he can’t be Mizuki’s REAL father because they aren’t blood related. So like, to pull the rug away and go "oh yeah btw I guess Mizuki was adopted lol" it just completely erases what made her story so impactful to most people. And the clone reveal adds nothing like Mizuki doesn’t NEED this at all she wasn’t looking to discover the truth of her backstory because. There wasn’t any truths that needed to be discovered, we already know her deal and so does she. And her having a clone doesn’t really fit with the half to whole theme cuz like, she wasn’t looking for a fucking clone or like a secret sister or anything like that. It’s just stupid it’s so stupid

What Mizuki needed was like, a new actual conflict that required her to overcome challenges and grow as a character. A lot of people, myself included, have complained about how her relationship with Date just isn’t talked about hardly at all, how he went missing for 6 years and they didn’t even get a proper reunion and the game kinda mocks you for wanting one. We dont get any context as to how Mizuki coped during that time like she was completely alone for the most major years of her life she was separated from the one person who was her real family and we don’t know what she felt during all that cuz the game refuses to talk about it. And there isn’t much indication that the adults care about this either, Boss maybe has a soft spot for her but that’s kinda the extent of it, she makes a joke that Date is probably off chilling in a hot spring in Atami so clearly no one is giving Date’s disappearance the weight it deserves. So like, we have this potential thing we could work with here like why is Mizuki a detective now and why does she care about this case? Because her dad was taken by tearer and has been gone for 6 years and she’s been all alone and she wants to find him and find out if he’s even alive and she wants to kick tearers ass cuz he tore (hehe) her family apart. And this can also give her an actual connection to Ryuki too like Ryuki is the one who betrayed Date and knew some shit about tearer and saw what happened to Date and he just never told Mizuki the truth and she’s spent all this time looking for Date so this would be like, pretty major conflict when it all gets revealed. And it actually gives what Ryuki did actual consequences that affect him cuz honestly the fact that no one seems to care that much about Date’s disappearance makes Ryuki’s guilt and depression seem completely fucking useless lol. So here we go, that’s some conflict for Mizuki to have and it gives her a personal connection to the case, we can add more to it but really even this alone is way more than what she’s given in the actual game. And I think just the big problem with her in aini is I think the writers were too afraid to do anything that could ruin her character or cause her to change too much so they just like. Didn’t write anything that could allow her to develop and instead just fucked with already established information about her which. I honestly don’t know how that is seen as better??? In what fucking world. It just feels really pointless to have even made Mizuki a protagonist to begin with since they don’t really do anything with her and lol I think the writers realized this so that’s why like. Ryuki gets all the character conflict but makes lowkey no progress in the case and the real investigation doesn’t happen until the Mizuki side cuz they needed to make up for the fact they didn’t write anything for her alskla

So yeah just to wrap things up, Mizuki just didn’t get to be a character in aini and she wasn’t given any interesting conflict despite how easy it would’ve been cuz the writers were too scared of doing anything with this character that could ruin her but dude. Dont fucking make her the protagonist then if you’re too scared of doing anything with her. Don’t piss me off like that

#aitsf #aini #ai the somnium files #ai the somniun files nirvana initiative #mizuki date #im still working out the kinks for my aini rewrite so i had to RESTRAIN MYSELF from getting into that too much lol #but yeah god like this is a really big problem and like its hard to talk about the fact that mizuki wasnt given any real conflict and was #basically just a cardboard cutout of a character this whole game #without it sounding like idk. complaining about the fact that shes a girl and just automatically writing her story off as bad #because shes a girl and just being really misogynistic cuz ive definitely seen that with her and its like AAAGHHH #i agree that shes not written good but its not cuz women are inherently boring and stupid dipshit #i think we can argue that her story is bad because of misogyny if we wanted to cuz id say its a factor #but yeah its just really frustrating cuz like ive played this game THOROUGHLY very thoroughly and still cant tell you much about mizuki #uh anyways i hate the clone twist i will never not hate it i was so ready to be a bibi stan i was so let down 😭

[hwanswerland]

at the rate this is going I'm seriously debating not even going to the tour

#fio.txt #there's not even europe dates yet obviously but im so done #just the tour? i would have side eyed #but the tour AND A COMEBACK THE MONTH BEFORE #nah #i feel like im turning into a lil hater here and i dont even want that but the concept pics for the cb feel so...uninspired #idk golden hour sounds pretty epic but the pics are pretty bland and boring to me #do something cool and artistic for gods sake take some time to actually get behind a concept then give them time TO PROMOTE AND THEN REST!!! #!!!!!!!!!!!! #and then and THEN you may have them tour again #literally 2026 usa tour would have been more than enough theyve been on tour every single year the past three (four with 2025 ig) and that #is not fucking sustainable #im gonna be really honest here #this ongoing situation with them is a big part of why i was highly kpop critical before i got into it #bc all i had heard was that the idols are pretty much just obects to be marketed and worked to burnout to get the most money possible #out of them #being kind of dehumanised and instead turned into content to be consumed #like they as persons and whatever artistic vision and passions and dreams they might have are secondary to capitalist greed #and that makes me so so sad and also frustrated and i want to rage and throw a few bricks through kq ents windows

[nicky-jr]

shoutout gothcleats shippers o7

#rambling #idk i feel like as a dndads blog im legally obligated to make A post abt it #but idk! it was fun #sad about normal but glad everyone else got a happy ending #(warning i get like. pointlessly negative/personal beyond this point) #but idk. ive been so checked out of s2 that i feel like. detached? #like makes me feel shitty to admit this but i just dont really care #idk if that has to do with my disinterest with the season. or just not being fixated anymore #or just my own mental state as of recent #it just makes me really sad that i feel this way about a series i adore #i dunno. i'd like to do a relisten of s2 so i can really pinpoint what about it frustrates/bores me #but rn i just cant be bothered #dont get me wrong i love this season!!! i feel the need to clarify any time i get negative about it #i love the characters and most of the plot and there were things i found really really compelling #and god its SOOO FUCKING FUNNY #my venting comes from a place of love yknow #but yeah tldr i have like literally no strong thoughts on the finale atm. it was fine #but im excited for the future #dndads s2 spoilers

[abirddogmoment]

One big change in my training approach from Mav to Rory has been mindfulness in all the little steps in training a full behaviour. I've always had a decent sense of where I want to go, but with Mav (and and even more with Marlo) I just kinda had a "shoot for the moon fall among the stars" approach. With Rory I have a lot more critical thinking about every individual foundation and step. It's been cool to see the process from this direction.

#dog training #about mav #about aurora #training mav was (dare i say it) a little more fun #because i just skipped to the good stuff and trusted him to catch up #whereas rory is a little more tedious because i am making sure she understands each little piece before moving on #and thats kinda boring to me #but it has been so cool to see it click for rory #mav was very sensitive to training errors #if he messed something up it was a challenge to end on a good note #it has been really fun to train rory is a more frustration-free way #idk there isnt much to this post #just cool to see the difference #eta im trying to add all the little steps in my training posts #so people can try it themselves if they so choose #and maybe to look back on later if i need to figure out where the gaps are in my foundations

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests... #theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!) #but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍 #anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^) #.vent #.diaries

[scorndotexe]

midnight mass should have been weirder and bolder and it would have been better for it

#persimmon's rambles #im not done yet #but like......even when it's not boring it's still kind of. bland #and like. there's something there!! there is absolutely something there! #potential! #there's potential for sure #it could have been really good #but like......horror needs to be made by freaks #the people making this are not freaks. #like yeah on one hand it's probably just not for me #on the other hand though.......it could have been really good? it could have been really really good? #but it's not. it's just kind of boring with a couple of really strong parts and the better episodes are still made worse by its lack of... #idk. courage isn't the right word maybe. it just needs to be bolder and freakier and weirder!!! #it needs someone who understands the vampire genre and understands catholicism and Gets how to bring them together in the way the show want #in the way the show wants to do #but it's just not there? #like even as a person with very little experience with catholicism i'm not getting anything truly compelling from the show itself #only from what the show implies #or from my interpretation of its better parts #it's a frustrating viewing experience #especially when it's just that boring and poorly paced #and how it lacks any actually compelling characters #the priest is the most compelling character obviously but it doesn't focus on him and his relationship with god and his vampirism #as much as would have been interesting for an audience. or for me personally #and the others are so much worse

[guideaus]

hearing anything abt israel really makes me wanna go crazy :/ you've got endless footage of them proudly recording their own crimes for each other's entertainment (with them at most being like "maybe we shouldn't share it... we might get in trouble..."), and then here in the west the people in charge are comfortable enough to just flat out ignore all the people here and blame the victims there, and It's so....

#personal #that article abt the telegram channel in israel... how evil do these people have to be #meanwhile i see my state's organization speaks to their gov and not a single person thats supposed to be listening is #they all look like bored kids in class or customers that hate the workers and wish they'd vanish. our representatives!! #the UN can apparently finally pull out a desperate action of finally voting against 'veto everything' US and israel doesnt even have to #listen... #idk just hearing any news makes me feel like im gonna go nuts. why is it so backwards!! no one in charge cares!! #and ppl STILL wanna say the 'vote blue no matter who' shit?? when we already know from 2016 voting does not matter #thats not how it works! i just feel soo frustrated

[harpieisthecarpie]

the weird thing about orv is i was voluntarily reading the headspace of a guy you couldn't pay me to spend 5 minutes talking to. sorry dokja i know you're traumatized but i think i'd deck you

#this is why i feel very #sure youre all kdj remnants but im built different #bc i really dont relate to the guy at all #not even in a 'god i hate him bc hes like me and i hate me' way #bc even on my worst self hater days i know whats going on and i can see outside myself a bit #i cant hate him but hes definitely. frustrating. in the way talking to a spiraling depressed friend is #i dont see myself in him bc even comparing my lowest point to him we are just fundamentally different in the way we approach suffering #idk maybe thats why i kinda phased outta it. being obsessed w it just ended up feeling #a mix between #'im complicit in enabling this wallowing' #and #'its frustrating and sometimes boring reading about these guys running on hamster wheels trying to hope they end up somewhere' #its def cathartic for some ppl but oh my god #not tagging this fandom tags so i hope it doesnt end up in ur fandom tag search if u dont want it

[shameful4]

e4 🤝 e7

self indulgence

#i wish ppl talked more about how e4s are self indulgent #i think bc its more masochistic ppl don't talk about it as much #but the type i connect with the most is definitely e7 #always disatisfied always rationalizing always reframing and trying to understand what the fuck is going on #always reaching for more #might just be a frustration triad thing actually #idk. e7s annoy the shit out of me but i love em #im listening to an album by a so7 and the way he talks abt indulgence and literally begging to be bored is so real #i havent felt bored in awhile #vent #<- kinda lol

[denimdepression]

should I start a nuzlocke

#kinda bored w my current games even though i just started a new stardew save #but im also gonna get ultrakill soon so #idk #it seems frustrating but also fun

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[klonoadoortophantomile]

wanna post art so bad but also i havent drawn anythint i feel happy with lately =\

#i could just post it anyways but #idk #i feel like it cant just be me it does just kinda look Bad #been super artblocked this past week its so frustrating #inqusitivewaltz.txt #sidenote im soooo fucking exhasuted rn its not even funny #still havent worked on that assignment i mentioned. itsjust one ofthose stupid abt me slideshow things #i have no clue what to put for any of it like . idk!!!! im boring i dont do anything ever my whole personality is just . drawing and gaming #i hate that my brain is like this it should not be this difficult for me to ge tthis done and yet -_- #tempted to just Not Do it but like…. i cant keep failing classes if i skip one assignment ill just keep going #uhgghghhh

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay. looking forward to the future when im back in therapy #like i dont feel terrible rn. i dont exactly kno how to describe it. i feel like ive been tossed up onto the shore of a desert island #after a big storm. like im still lying facedown in the sand bc i dont kno what to do when i stand up #i guess im just still sitting in the desolation of 2yrs of burnout and i kno that things need to change but i dont kno #quite how to manage it. bc the thing abt me is that i have ambiguous handwave undiagnosed obsessive compulsive behaviors #and its like every. everything i do is. like its structure to the extreme. i have to do these things because. because why? idk just because #so im like ok i have to change things so i adjust to the change and the structure just becomes rigid again. the cage changes shape but the #volume stays the same. and its hard bc i cant run rn so its like i cant expell my frustration and its a compulsion i cant fulfill and its #constantly in my head. im also just tired. ive been sleeping more than usual and idk y. like i dont feel that depressed but i guess i do #feel bored and pointless bc im just doing computer stuff rn. and i also just feel like my brain is cloudy #like learning is a thing i like to do but im not allowed to spend time reading papers bc i have to draw bc thats the structure #but i want to learn abt those specific topics and i just feel like my brain is full of holes #like its a very specific feeling. like back after i 1st finished my masters i was taking carbon measuments bc thats #like the most useful thing for me to do in tbus lab but it destroys my brain and then my boss was training me in some culture isolation #stuff that i liked a lot and was more aligned with my interests but i hit this wall where my Brain was like ur not allowed to do that #anymore so i make the choice to let the project go and just do what was useful. idk y i did that but i do it all thr time. idk its just hard #when like everything feels so boring and bleak all the time but with this little glimmers of specialness that im not allowed to reach for #ugh. its just the hormones. bc it's becoming very clear i have high and low moods associated with hormone shifts. and the obsessive #compulsive behaviors. those r just ambient but at time exacerbated by the shifts #unrelated #also participating in trivia stuff triggers me feeling dumb lmao but idk i dont usually memorize facts. i usually go for vibes and like what #do u build with what youve learned. like who gives a fuck if u kno a set of facts if u dont do anything with that info #but thats just me being defensive bc i have a foggy brain full of holes