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#if st ives bad why cheap
vividbeast · 6 months
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IF ST IVES BAD FOR SKIN WHY SMELL GOOD
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css1992 · 3 years
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Guilty Pleasure
[Porn AU]
Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.
Warnings: 18+, explicit, references to past non-con/rape (not between main pairing, not explicit), daddy kink, Peter in lingerie, references to gaslighting and abusive relationship (not between main pairing, not explicit). The warnings are for the story as whole, not for this chapter specifically. I’ll add more in the future, if needed.
Read on AO3
Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue
-x-
“He can’t do this!” Ned slammed his hands down on the counter between them, as Peter took a swig of the cheap wine he bought with the last ten bucks he had in his wallet. “He isn’t even in all of the videos, at least half of the money is rightfully yours!” He kept going, stating the obvious, but Peter just sighed and shrugged.
“I’m not disagreeing with you, Ned, I’m just relaying what he told me: he’s not gonna give me anything. It’s his channel, his equipment, the money from the subscriptions goes straight to his bank account, so it’s his. It’s all his. His words, by the way.” He took another swig of wine straight from the bottle. He had been drinking from a small glass Ned offered him – he wasn’t a pirate – but it soon proved to be too small to quench his pain, so. Yeah. Pirate style it was.
“You have to sue his ass, Peter, he can’t get away with this,” MJ intervened. She was sitting next to him on a stool by the kitchen counter, so he turned to look at her with a deep frown on his face.
“Did you not hear me saying I just spent my last ten dollars on this bottle of wine? I have, like, twenty four cents left in my pocket. And that’s it. I can’t hire a lawyer, I can’t even feed myself right now!” He raised his voice a little, but quickly got himself back under control and apologized. His friends were not to blame for his predicament – they did try to warn him Beck was bad news, he didn’t want to listen. “And you know what? I don’t give a fuck. He can choke on all of it if he wants, the videos, the money, the subscribers, I don’t fucking care.” It wasn’t true, of course. Well, partially. He really didn’t care about the money, videos, subscribers, etc, but he cared about Beck. He would have given everything else up if it meant he could keep him.
Which was stupid of him, of course. But he certainly wasn’t winning any awards for being a great decision maker.
“It’s still not fair. I mean, I knew that guy was sleazy, but you’d think he’d have the decency to at least give you something, you know? You’ve been together for three years, he’s been making money off your ass for almost as long. How could he just fucking kick you out and not give you a single dime? After all the money you’ve made for him? It’s fucking sick, that guy is fucking psychopath if you ask me.” MJ’s face was turning red from anger, which made Peter smile a little. It felt good to know he was loved by someone, even if he hadn’t been the best friend to them for the past few years.
The thought made him close his eyes for a second, guilt creeping over him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d called either of them – maybe on Ned’s birthday, almost two months earlier. They used to be inseparable, the three of them; the three musketeers, as corny and lame as it sounded. For years, those two were the only family he knew, but when Beck came into his life, everything changed.
Stupid fucking Beck.
Peter used to think of him as his own personal super-hero – it did feel like he had come to save him, after all. They met when he was seventeen, he had been living in foster homes for almost seven years by then, after Ben and May passed away. At the time, he was with his fifth family, and there were so many children in that house, so many of them came and went, that their foster parents didn’t really keep tabs most of the time. It was easy to sneak out, and Peter did, often.
He met Beck on one of his night walks – and their first meeting should have raised all kinds of red flags, but for whatever reason, it didn’t. Beck slowed the car next to him, rolled down the window and asked how much Peter charged for a blowjob. Just like that. The teen gasped at first, but when he looked around for a moment, he realized he wasn’t in the most family friendly neighborhood. There were, in fact, some men and women around him who definitely looked like they were there for that, but Peter was in sweats, for crying out loud, and he definitely looked his age – or even younger than that.
His wide eyes must have given him away, because the older man quickly apologized and showed him a charming, white smile. He made up some excuse about mistaking him for someone else and the boy said it was ok. He was going to keep walking when Beck asked what his name was. Then how old he was. Then where he was going, where he ha come from.
Looking back, Peter knew he should have run. He should have left, because there was no excuse for an adult man like him to keep asking a teenager so many questions right after he basically offered him money to suck his dick. But that Peter, that 17-year-old boy, was still a bit too naive. To have such a handsome man showing interest in him – his kind, blue eyes smiling at him, warm and safe – was inebriating. He actually looked at him. And cared. At least Peter thought he did at the time. And he was so lonely back then, even that little bit of attention meant the world to him.
He should have run, but he stayed. Should have run, but got in his car. Should have run, but ended up giving him a clumsy hand job in the backseat, after just a few sweet promises whispered in his eager ears. Beck was so good with words, he could have convinced Peter to jump off a bridge that very same night if he wanted.  
They exchanged phone numbers. For weeks, they texted and called each other, until they could  meet again. By then, he was smitten. At twenty, he could see how innocent he had been, how trusting and open he was with a complete stranger. A 32 year-old stranger, at that. Ned and MJ, his only friends from school, warned him that it wasn’t okay. That it was weird for a man his age to be interested in a teenage boy, but Peter said they were wrong. He said he wasn’t just a regular kid, he had been through stuff they could only imagine. He was mature and experienced, and Beck could see that, which was why he liked him.
Looking back now, it was embarrassing how wrong he was. Beck was an illusionist. Sad thing was everyone could see the trapdoor but him.
“So what are you gonna do now?” MJ asked, fishing another bottle of wine from under the counter and placing it in front of Peter, who almost cried in gratitude.
“You mean besides crying myself to sleep for the next few months?” He wasn’t really joking. The only reason he wasn’t crying right at that moment was because he had spent almost three hours bawling his eyes out on a park bench close to their – well, Beck’s – apartment, hoping against hope that Beck would reconsider and come after him. When it became clear it wasn’t going to happen, he headed to the only place he knew he could find refuge – even if he didn’t deserve it.
“Yeah, besides that, obviously.” She opened the wine bottle and before he could take it and drink straight from it, she poured three glasses and Peter sighed, defeated.
“I have no idea.” He answered, only slightly surprised that he actually meant it. He had absolutely no clue what to do. For three years, he hadn’t had to worry about money – or anything, really. Beck took care of everything and he just assumed it would always be like that. That he would always have him by his side to take care of him.
He rubbed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“Are you going to keep doing porn?” Ned asked, a worried expression on his face. Peter remembered he hated the idea when Beck first suggested it, as soon as he turned eighteen.
People are gonna lose it, Beck said. A pretty little twink and a hot daddy? We’re going to be a hit.
And they were. Their first videos blew up quickly, people were either disgusted by the thought of them together – because of the age gap – or completely enthralled. The haters helped them get more views, and Peter soon learned that there really was no such thing as bad publicity. Beck promoted their videos on twitter, where they accumulated thousands of followers. Peter remembered that, back then, many people sent him worried messages, saying he was too young, that Beck was a predator, that he was taking advantage of him.
In retrospect, they might have been right, after all.
He wasn’t too sure about doing porn when they first started, he knew once they released the first video, there was no going back, there was no way they could ever take it down – the internet was forever. Nothing was ever truly deleted. He wanted to be a dad someday, what if his children ever saw those videos in the future? What would have Ben and May thought? What about his parents?
None of this matters, honey, Beck assured him. These kids don’t even exist yet, don’t worry about them. And your relatives, well… They’re gone, sweetie. You can’t really disappoint them anymore.
So Peter did it. And he was terrified at first, he felt so exposed, people all over the world could see him in his most vulnerable moments, all of him, in every position Beck managed to put him in, in any outfit he thought the public might like, in any setting he thought might bring in more viewers, more subscribers, more money.
Soon, just the two of them weren’t enough. Their viewers wanted to see Peter with other people – other daddies –  and Beck saw another opportunity to increase his profit. Peter was strongly against the idea at first, it felt too much like prostitution, which was where he wanted to draw the line, but, again, Beck sweet-talked him into it.
It’s nothing like prostitution, honey, he said. I’ll be there the whole time, I’ll be the one filming and directing, I’ll be the one paying the other actors, all the profits are ours. How is that anything like prostitution? It’s just like what we’ve been doing so far.
So not only there were a bunch of videos of him and Beck out there in the world, there were also lots of videos of him with other men, some of whom were old enough to be his actual dad. There was even one video in particular that he was specially embarrassed by – and sadly enough, that was the most viewed one so far. It was fucking humiliating.
At some point, Peter should have realized it became all about money for Beck – and maybe it had been like that all along, he just hadn’t noticed before. Over the last few months of their relationship, they never had sex just for fun, just for the hell of it. There were always cameras, and lights, and roles to play. Beck never said he loved him anymore. Barely touched him. Barely kissed him. He should have seen it coming. He had been too blind, or just… Didn’t want to see what was happening right before his eyes. He ignored all the signs. The voice in the back of his head telling him something was off.
But anyway, porn. Could he still do it?
“I don’t know,” he answered, finally. He looked at his best friends and sighed with a shrug. “To be honest, it was never something I enjoyed, and I don’t know if I could ever do it without him somehow involved, you know? I did it with him because I felt… Safe? I don’t want to get involved in the actual porn industry, I’ve heard some pretty fucked up stories.” Peter had heard horror stories about other boys in the industry, and even though his own story was no fairy tale, there was nothing so bad that it couldn’t get worse.
“How about Just4Fans?” MJ asked and both Peter and Ned turned to look at her in shock. “What? You guys were pretty popular, right? You won awards and shit, so there must be at least a few hundred people out there who would pay money to see some dirty pictures of you, maybe some short videos. That way you won’t need to go into professional porn and you wouldn’t need a partner, but you could still make decent money. And fast.”
Well, it actually made sense. It wasn’t like there weren’t hundreds of videos of him being fucked raw all over the internet, anyway. A few dirty pictures couldn’t hurt. And besides, it didn’t need to be forever, just until he figured something out.
“That’s… actually not a bad idea,” he conceded, drinking the last of the wine in his glass. MJ sympathetically filled it up again and he mumbled his thanks.
“What do you think he will do now?” Ned asked carefully, and Peter shrugged for what felt like the hundredth time. There was so much he didn’t know.
“Probably keep shooting videos with his new boy-toy.” He managed to say it with a steady voice, but his eyes burned. He still couldn’t believe how… replaceable Beck thought he was.
When he noticed them interacting online a few months earlier, before the boy was even eighteen, Peter was alarmed, but when he confronted the older man about it, he said he was crazy and seeing things, picking up fights for no reason. He always twisted things in a way that, somehow, Peter was the one apologizing to him in the end.
Months later, just weeks after the kid turned eighteen, there he was – homeless, penniless and lost – meanwhile the other guy was probably getting comfortable in his bed. If Peter didn’t hate the kid, he would pity him. In a few years, he would probably meet the same fate.
“Do you think he would take the videos down if you asked?” Ned asked, and Peter scoffed.
“Yeah, right, those videos will still make him a lot of money monthly, he’d never delete them.” And Peter would have to live with the fact that he would always be just one google search away from complete humiliation and exposure. If he ever tried to get a serious job, those videos would stand in the way. If he ever managed to meet somebody decent and good, those videos would be a testament to what sort of person he was in the past. Fuck, some of them were really fucked up.
“So… Should we create fake twitter accounts to trash talk his short dick or what?” MJ was already grabbing her phone and Peter laughed halfheartedly, shaking his head.
“He’s not worth it. Karma will take care of him, I’m sure.” He drank the last of his wine and whimpered sadly. “So… Can I crash with you guys for a few days? I promise I’m not gonna overstay my welcome! I’ll be out of your hair as soon as the Just4Fans thing works out.”
“Of course you can, nerd, stay as long as you need. We’ve got your back, c’mon.” MJ got up from her stool and gestured for him to do the same. “Do you mind taking the couch?” She asked as she headed to her bedroom in the tiny apartment.
“Not at all,” he answered with a sigh of relief, then went to grab his suitcase by the door. Three years together and that was all he had to show for it. A single suitcase with a few changes of clothes, after being kicked out of the house on a cold February night. His eyes burned but he took a deep breath, blinking them rapidly to avoid the tears.  
“Then make yourself at home. Our casa es su casa.” MJ placed a pillow on the couch and handed him a thick, warm blanket.
“We’ll figure something out, okay?” Ned clasped him on the shoulder with a gentle smile on his face.
“Okay.” He sighed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his crushed chest.
He waited for his friends to go into their respective rooms, waited to hear their quiet snores, before he allowed the tears to run freely down his face, replaying everything Beck said to him when he kicked him out.
Before he knew it, he was a sobbing a little, so he buried his face in the pillow to muffle the noise, as he tried to convince himself that things were going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. But at that moment, that was hard to believe.
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ourladytamara · 4 years
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Home Chronology
Home Chronology
Tamara - 2020
Content warnings: breathplay/asphyxiation, torture, consensual non-consent, electrocution, and implied murder.
Time’s an odd thing, when you break it down. It’s hard to explain without referencing itself and muddying your own explanation. We run our lives by time. Minutes, hours, days, months, years. And yet, humans are the only beings which crawl upon the Earth’s magnificent surface to burden themselves with time’s passage. Isn’t that strange? For all our worries with deadlines, dates, schedules, and the ever-forward tick of the clock, we have only ourselves to blame. If we decided tomorrow to ignore time entirely, returning to a sunlight-based way of living, we’d be free to live without chronology’s unnecessary burden - and, clearly, be all the better off for it.
But is that entirely true? Without a rigid system of dates and hours, we’d have a far more free-floating society, that’s undeniable - but we’d simply stop measuring time, not the flow of time itself - a delightfully regular thing, as it turns out; each day is only so long, of a generally standard length, and it is also only so long until the Earth, all of its worried little people aboard, goes a full revolution around the Sun.
For the sake of argument, let’s continue to use time. Additionally, for the sake of argument, of course, let’s take a girl. She had a name, but I might’ve forgotten to take it down before shutting her up; I’ll call her Jane Doe, since I imagine the police are soon to follow suit. Five foot four, a hundred and sixty pounds, give or take whatever her hair weighed. Decently curvy, I suppose, a nice body regardless. She’s raven-haired, (what remains of it, anyways) quite shy, kind of the nerdy type - still a virgin, I checked. In another life she might’ve found my study interesting, based on her apparent interest in psychology. Not this one, though - in this life, for the sake of argument, she’s strapped to a chair. Nude, shivering, terrified; the waterboarding was a bit overkill, I will admit, but fun nevertheless.
Impatience is one of my many vices. It’s difficult not to see my time as a precious resource, after all, and with so much to do I knew I had to work with Jane quickly. Getting back to my place from here would be another several hours, only so many of which before her coworkers began to look for her.
I took her from her cheap studio half past two in the morning. With some gentle coaxing I was able to silently wiggle open her half-latched window in only six minutes, and within thirty seconds I had her mouth in my hand and a syringe of propofol in her pretty pink vein. God, her smile - I knew it was more impulse than bliss, a flinch of her facial nerves, but I still wanted so badly to kiss her...
The basement took three hours and sixteen minutes to get ready. Plastic sheets cover every surface, tacked down to prevent even a single drop of fluid spilling. Our little Jane Doe’s chair is in the center of the room, just opposite the curtained-off stairwell. Harsh fluorescent light bathes her skin in burning alabaster - maybe she ought to thank me for the blindfold; they shine eight hours a day in total, but not all at once. Beneath the plastic on the ceiling is a layer of soundproofing foam to absorb what the house itself won’t, the concrete walls and soil will do the rest. By my estimates - and based on how dilated her pretty pupils were - it was probably around four when the propofol started to wear off, consciousness returning to her utterly bound and helpless form in waves of throbbing pain. No time had passed in her mind, yet her body ached with the strain of countless lost hours. She’d stopped measuring - the world hadn’t.
At around 6:30 in the evening I took the black rag around her eyes off and spat in her face. It’s the first thing she’s felt in over two days beyond the sticky crinkle of plastic beneath her bare feet and the cold, stale air. For an instant it’s terrifying - the second after it gets worse, once her eyes start to adjust. By my guess the lights have been off for the past hour and a half, or so; I didn’t notice if she was sleeping or not and I truly didn’t care.
A frantic “What are you doing with me?” formed in her throat before her eyes lept to the IV in her arm, then again to the plastic bag and roll of tape in my hand, silencing what little sound she’s able to choke out around the ball gag. Eyes wide like exhaustion-pink dinner plates, a scream leaked spitlike from the corners of her mouth, coating her hefty breasts in reflective shame. Disappointing. I was hoping it’d be a while before she noticed it, giving me enough time to interrogate her a bit more in her last few hours of relative sanity.
Like I was saying, time’s a funny thing. A lot of things in Jane’s life were about to be really, really funny - to me, at least - and time was possibly chief amongst them. Remember that disconnect between the measurement of time and its true flow I mentioned earlier?
Now we’re getting somewhere.
The clock’s catching up. It’s seven in the evening and she’s been crying for the last half-hour, in and out of lucidity depending on whatever I’ve been rambling to her about. My life, her life, things I want to do to her - I like to monologue for a bit before really getting to know my victims. Our culture kind of trains you to expect a villain monologue, doesn’t it? After all, without it, there’s so little to fill that precious length of time between the wake-up and the torture itself. Something about that humanizing little pause seems necessary if I don’t want to rush, and it gives me an easy outlet to let off some steam. It’s what I do instead of therapy - I guess I do a lot of things I shouldn’t do, instead of therapy.
“And that’s why I needed you to help me test it. Time itself is relative - hm, the bags? Oh, the plastic bags are important, too, but those aren’t as directly related as my relationship with my mother…”
Jane thrashes around in her bondage before giving out limply. Clearly she’s tired of listening; I wrinkle the bag in my hand and snap her focus back to me.
“Hmph. You spend all that time in the dark and yet it’s almost like you’re ready to go back in!” I say, ignoring her whines as I step closer, plastic in hand. Truthfully I was getting bored of my one-sided therapy appointment - I’ve been over it countless times with countless other girls just like Jane, of course, but it often helps to repeat what I already know. “And here I was, about to tell you your plans for the evening! You really make bad company, you know - no wonder nobody’s looking for you yet…”
Tears well up in her eyes, which I quickly lick clean from the source; the saltiness of dehydration gives me an indication of how marinated her misery really is. They’re salty, coppery, almost acidic. I’ll have to adjust her intravenous drip to give her a bit more water, but for now she’s ready.
“How long’s it been?” I ask, my voice a layer of soft buttercream atop knives and needles. “Not in a cosmic sense, this time, I’m asking you literally - how long do you think it’s been since you got here?”
I slide a finger between her lips and gag and separate them just enough to allow her to whisper.
“W-why are you doing this to me?”
I pull it out and strike her across the face with a loud, fiery clap.
“How long has it been since you got here?”
“Ten hours!?”
“Wrong.”
Another slap.
“But that’s good.”
I need a subject as divorced from any concept of the current, measured time as possible. To Jane she may as well be, and have been, here forever, been born here and died here, her fifty-odd year lifespan compressed into the 72-odd hours she’s been in my captivity. Ideally I’d let her stew longer until she’s a bit more unresponsive, but I’m unfortunately short on time.
On average, human beings can go two minutes or so without oxygen. That’s a tiny, precious sliver of time which could separate life from death, a desperate gasp from the cold and twitching grip of Hell. Little enough time to prove my hypothesis, I hope.
See, even though our concept of how long things are - 24-hour days, 7-day weeks, and so on - is pretty much entirely bullshit, I’m curious to see how closely it matches the linear march towards entropy, the metronome of the universe to which everything’s set. If a mind completely divorced from outside bias is able to accurately guess a physically-measured length of time, it means time is innate - and probably a whole lot less bullshit than we might think.
That’s a lot of flowery language to tell you that I’m going to put a plastic bag on this girl’s head until she stops breathing. Basically, I need Jane’s sleep-deprived estimate of her own breath to match as closely as possible to the time on my stopwatch. If I’m right, and time turns out to be bullshit, she should be way off. I’ll give her a margin of twenty seconds or so.
If she’s further off, well, I have some other things in my bag for that, but those’re for later.
I unfurl the staticky, filmy plastic bag, a red ‘THANK YOU’ design emblazoned across the front, adding a tiny pop of color to my black getup and the monochrome walls. Jane starts sobbing again, trying to spit her gag out and succeeding only in covering herself in more slobber. Poor bitch; out of pity I wipe it up before striking her again. Obviously she knows what’s coming, but I have yet to explain myself.
“You need to tell me how long I have you in the bag once I cut you out, okay?” I command, my tone unwaveringly firm. “If you’re close I might even let you go. Try to be as accurate as you can - down to the second, if possible.”
Unfortunately this doesn’t do much to assuage her fears, and so with a tightening cinch of her leather bondage I get to work. Seconds pass, and still she refuses to acknowledge my terms.
“I’m doing this regardless of your agreement, so it’s only better for you if you just listen to me, honey; all I need you to do is keep time.”
She tries to pull against the newly-strengthened leather as I pull the limp plastic bag over her head. Ignoring her movements, I twist the mouth of the bag around her throat and pull it off, tightening the seal and utterly depriving her of air. In my secondary hand I have a stopwatch, now ticking up from zero. One. Two.
“Remember, doll, get as close as you can and I’ll consider letting you go. Alright?”
In response she simply screams futilely into her gag and throws her head back against the chair. It’s like she’s not even trying, I think as I grip her by the shoulder to prevent the worst of her seizing. Fuck, if I knew she’d be so uncooperative I would’ve just gone with the backup girl - currently tied up beneath the floorboards, for easier storage - instead of wasting my time with this one. Fifteen seconds, now, and she’s about to run out of air in the bag.
...hm. A wicked thought crosses my mind as I tie off the bag and leave it, stopwatch still ticking, and reach into my bag of tricks. I was saving this for her second try, of course, but if the bitch is putting up this much of a fight I may as well skip a step. Out comes a vibrator wand, the white shaft wrapped in the power cord; it’s clearly well-used, visibly beaten up in many places that a vibrator really, really has no right to. Beside it, a stun gun, the two-pronged kind you slam into would-be attackers. Fully charged, it emits a high-pitched crackle as I test out the trigger, much to Jane’s onlooking horror.
Data is important, but sometimes reinforcing the hierarchy is a bit more important, and Jane clearly needs some reinforcement. Despite my repeated efforts to persuade her through kindness, she refuses to take to my commands, threatening everything I went through to procure her by giving me an ultimately-disobedient subject. That won’t do; while it pains me to introduce… outside variables into my experiment, it’s a safeguard for my work’s future if I nip this rebellious attitude in the bud.
A buzz as I fire up the twin prongs of the handheld taser, lightly jabbing it into Jane’s tender inner thigh. That seems to work; five seconds of pained sputtering later, she relents, finally nodding to my request.
“Good! I was starting to worry that I’d need your replacement sooner than expected,” I declare, keeping it vague to scare her, “but I’m glad you’ve decided to come around.”
Another jab snaps her back into position. 45 seconds pass, and Jane’s starting to get red in the face. Sweat drips down her chest and cascades off her tits, prompting me to lick it up before it spills onto the less-than-cleanly chair beneath her. At this point I can tell she’s struggling to decide if the taser or the bag is worse; it’s a struggle I can taste in every shallow breath as I work my tongue up her naked body. Zap, again - this time to her lower stomach, just above her crotch. Never at her heart, of course - this is as high as I’ll go, as I have… prior reservations at the morgue with a woman and a chest-bound taser.
Of course, that lucky lady isn’t getting the vibrator. Taser in hand and eye on the stopwatch, I dart to the wall outlet, five seconds passing as I plug the extension cord in. White plastic trails across the dirty concrete as I hurry back to my position above Jane. Click - a different buzzing. I push the white plastic tip into my subject’s clit and hold it there. Seconds pass in a fugue of revulsion and pleasure.
By the first minute she’s entirely cherry-red. Every inch of flesh is a magnesium flare of color in the drab, plasticine basement; wherever I place a finger, flesh or electric steel, lights up bright, bloodless white. She’s like a doll, porcelain cast in the colors of twilight; sometimes you can’t help but wax poetic, can you? A minute and ten, and finally I feel her drop limp in my arms, eyes drooping closed as she runs out of air.
In short seconds I grab the scissors and snip away at the now saliva and tear-soaked plastic film, ripping it where the blades fail to give sufficient air. I snap the stopwatch and glance down at the final time - 0:01:09:29 - before moving to hold her mouth open to breathe.
“And I didn’t even have to snap at you! How nice of you, my darling - I had a feeling you’d come around.” I coo, keeping my voice low to comfort her. “How long do you think that was?”
Jane stares at me with anger in her puffy, red eyes. She’s clearly fixing to spit at me, to scream and writhe with every ounce of adrenaline she has; despite the fire in her, she still remains limp beneath my touch. Beneath her sits a patch of wetness distinct from her tears and slobber. Panting, breathless, she motions to speak.
“45 seconds,” she begins with a gasp, “and… f-fuck, uh, 50 miliseconds...”
A wide smile spreads across my face. I hold the stopwatch in front of her and give a long, intimate look at the extent of her failure. My wrist digs the vibrator in a bit, eager to try and make her cum at the peak of her despair - yet, sadly, she simply slumps in her chair, tears welling in her eyes as she starts to silently sob.
“You do remember what I told you, right? You have to get it as close as possible.”
Jane sobs, convulses, and drops unconscious in the seat before me.
“Disappointing.”
I click the vibrator off and crack my neck.
An inconclusive result, I’m afraid. That’s one of the funny things about time, I suppose; I spend so long preparing for such a quick experiment, only to walk away empty-handed. It’s likely I owe it to my own tainting of the results, I will admit. Impatience is, after all, one of my many vices, but not one nearly as intense as my disdain for insubordination.
Jane and I will try again tomorrow, I think. For now, I’ll let her get a few minutes of rest in, lights still blinking and feet still cold and grimy. She’ll need the rest if I’m to get any further in my experimentation - and maybe, it’ll go a ways to showing her how very, very precious her time is, indeed.
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pfenniged · 4 years
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You said you love skincare over makeup: me too! What's your favorite brands? :)
I have extremely sensitive skin that is prone to cystic acne due to my hormones being out of whack due to endometriosis, so I have to be very careful about the brands I use for either skincare OR makeup, and it took me a long time to realise that, and lean more into cultural beauty routines that take skincare over makeup (For example, Korean beauty or more traditionalist Swedish beauty, a la Ingrid Bergman, who famously never wore a stitch of makeup if she could help it and her skin was just that lovely that she didn’t have to). I’m also very aware of overt fragrances, stripping agents like alcohol (Baby Lauren was not; and thought drying out your skin equaled less acne; yikes), and any harsh additives. 
Sunscreen:
I’ve always taken sun care extremely seriously, as both my mother and my grandmother have had skin cancer before, so I’m most likely predisposed to having it. This has led to some unintentionally hilarious results of being the palest person in the world who plays beach volleyball both professionally (back in the day) and competitively (now, or before the COVID hit). I always wear long sleeves on the beach unless I have time to completely apply sunscreen, and am a snob when it comes to sunscreens as well. They can’t cause a breakout, leak into my eyes due to sweat, any of that good stuff. 
My sunscreen recommendations:
 (Note: And I literally get them from all over the world, so get ready, because I probably cover something available in your town/country. I’ve lived in Australasia, North America, and Europe, so I’ve pretty much covered a large part of the world in my travels xD)
Face:
Mychelle Pharmaceuticals SPF 28 in Coconut (Unfortunately only an American brand, but I literally get it shipped to a P.O. box near Canada so I can go across the line to get it. It’s that good. XD Doesn’t melt, dries quickly, unsure how it would look on darker skin than ghost white, but still doesn’t give me any sort of cast).
Innisfree Daily UV Protection Cream No Sebum: Literally a steal at twelve bucks, but DOES cause the dreaded white cast. Anti-acne and also settles down really well on the skin. I’m luckily pale enough that if I layer makeup over it, it usually doesn’t look as bad, but I’ve heard a lot of POC say they love the texture, but it gives them that ashy-white look (See below for some skincare brands I’ve heard are better for this for POC). 
Body:
Bioderma Photoderm SPF 50+ UVA and UVB Lait protection élevée: This is a really popular French sunscreen that doesn’t move and stays firm after you apply it and it dries down. It’s a high SPF quality, and I can find it in Canada, but I also obviously saw it in France when I was there as well. France is another country that really seems to follow the ‘If you have great skin you don’t really need makeup do you” train.
MooGoo Skincare (Generally and their sunscreen): This was my go to in Australia: I’d have to reapply it often because otherwise you would get burned, but Australia also has a gigantic hole in the ozone layer so it isn’t exactly helping itself. xD But it’s a local Aussie brand, it’s natural, and it’s great and relatively cheap (although you can order it worldwide I believe and they have a US based website if you’re in the states). I also love their leave in hair conditioner, as well as their self-tanner. They also send you great testers with it, and have great mineral-based makeup if you’re keen.
Coola SPF 30 Sunscreen Spray Pina Colada: This is my go to spray on for playing sports last summer. It’s natural, smells good, is expensive, but it lasted me an entire summer playing beach volleyball most days at the beach, and I still have some left over.
Some of my top other skincare recommendations I’d recommend otherwise would be:
My Current Routine:
- Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel (everyday)
- Dermalogica Overnight Clearing Gel (everyday)
- Dermalogica Microdermabrasion (everyday)
- Mychelle Cosmetics: SPF 28 Coconut (everyday)
- Clinique Oil Control Gel with Uneven Skin Tone Pump (everyday)
- Lush Eye Cream (optional)
- Benton Aloe Vera Gel (optional if my skin is feeling dry)
- Bioderma Photoderm 50+ for my body sunscreen  (everyday)
(Note: I also use a micellar water to clear eye makeup if I use it, and occasionally the Thayers toner if I have it on hand, but it’s not essential to my routine, and I don’t use eye makeup that often).
Dermalogica:  Expensive as all hell, but it’s literally the only thing that I can get a ‘wash and go’ effect from. Their Special Cleansing Gel is the only face wash I’ve been able to use for more than three to four months without having to switch it up from my skin throwing it’s own mini revolution. xD The one thing I could say is that their Cleansing Gel LITERALLY lasts forever. I have a gigantic pump which is 88 dollars (YIKES), but it’s lasted me literally seven months without having to change products and buying usually amount in cheaper skincare, going to the dermatologist, or having to get further medication from my doctor for my skin (I take an antibiotic to keep my skin at bay as well). It’s literally worth the money of me searching and floundering about buying cheaper options that make my skin break out that progressively add up to the full amount of the Dermalogica/ avoiding dermatologist appointments, so that’s how I justify it. So while it makes me cringe every time I buy it, it really is worth it if you’re washing it two times a day (There’s also a 250ml size for 55 bucks Canadian on Sephora if you want to give it a go for less commitment, and that usually lasts for a good two months on its own).
I also use their Overnight Clearing Gel for my acne (also expensive), and I can do without, but do like, their microdermabrasion scrub, which also lasts forever. I also forgot to mention that this is the stuff coming straight from The International Dermal Institute, so they know what they’re doing. 
Others I enjoy:
Klairs: My (relatively) cheap routine if I’m running low on funds for the month. They have a great body-based soap bar if you have body acne (Which I usually don’t, but if I’m doing a lot of beach volleyball in the summer, gremlins in the sand fuck with my skin, I swear to god). 
Innisfree: Great based routines, and if you’re able to actually go to a store to get skin-matched, they have some amazing stores in Australasia. I use their sheet masks often.
Benton: Their aloe vera-based products are amazing for skincare; I use them usually in lieu of a body lotion.
Thayers: Their unscented toner is the only toner I trust, and it’s usually on sale at a drugstore.
Mychelle Cosmetics: As mentioned above, it’s responsible for my daily sunscreen; unfortunately, you can only get it in the States (Which is why I literally have a P.O. box across the border in America where I go to pick it up from because I live about fifteen minutes from the US-Canada border. Seriously, it’s that good).
 MooGoo: As mentioned above.
 Clinique: An oldie, but a goodie. Their skincare routine doesn’t have the same effect on my face like Dermalogica, but if I’m in a financial pinch and need something to hold me over at the mid-point price level, I still turn to Clinique. I still use their gel as my moisturiser, and they now have this new ‘mix and match’ program with Emilia Clarke as their promo-woman. I’ve heard the shade range for the BB cream-based moisturiser is terrible, even for white ladies, but I just got their Oil-Control gel with an ‘uneven skin tone’ top mixed in to address acne-scarring, and I’ve already seen some good results.
 Biotherma: See above.
La-Roche Posay: The routine my dermatologist recommended as a top professor of skincare at a leading hospital related to a university in Australia. It’s very gentle, and their Effaclar another mid-level price routine.
St Ives: If I’m really poor, I go for St. Ives. I don’t use their scrubs, because they use walnut shells on their that can literally rip up your face, but I do like their body wash, body lotion, and they recently released a cleanser with camomile which is calming for the face. It’s not as good as the Dermalogica stuff, but for cheap and for no harsh alcohols or chemicals, plus making a move towards being cruelty-free, I think St. Ives is trying to revamp their brand a bit after that bad press they had concerning #walnutgate. xD
Lush: Another cheaper option (although not really, because Lush usually gauges you for more than you’d pay for a proper Clinique cleanser for a bar of soap/ once you’ve got your full routine together). That being said, I do like their eye cream. I’m in my mid-twenties now, so I’m starting to try to do more preventative skincare.
Mario Badescu: I still use their acne spot treatment if I have a really terrible zit, and it’s gone the next morning.
Other brands I’ve heard good things about:
First Aid Beauty (I want to try their tinted sunscreen for summer)
Supergoop (Apparently their mineral sunscreen is really great for POC, as it doesn’t give the dreaded WHITE CAST)
Shiseido (A classic Japanese brand)
Keihls (Another one I’ve heard great things about but is more expensive)
Ren Clean Skincare (Another skincare brand I want to try).
So hopefully this gives you some ideas to try, nonny, and hopefully this helps someone. xD -shrug-
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resonanteye · 4 years
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via http://resonanteye.net/originals-will-be-for-sale-nov-15/
Originals will be for sale, Nov 15
Two are spoken for.
All the local galleries are full of artists that they were showing last year, my kickstarter to get full scale prints made did not get funded (really bad timing). I’ll eventually be releasing a small art book containing all of these, I hope. I had wanted to show them as a group but I do not think I’ll be able to do that. so,
here are the originals I’ll be selling. There will be a second post with purchase links on the day, and you’ll be able to message me to purchase as well. Full sized prints will eventually be available but I don’t have a date for that.
Paintings from Quarantine, a series, 2020
all are watercolor paintings. charging by size and scope…
  12×16″ are 150$
18×24″ are 500$
22×30″ are 900$
36×50″ are 1500$
shipping to US/CAN included: all will be rolled for shipping, unframed. I’ll ship any country, but will have to calculate for anywhere but US/CAN. rush shipping on request at cost.
no. 1 – Milan (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Marcelo Natali 1963-3/25/20 “We certainly weren’t prepared to face such a situation. Especially those of our generation, that of the post-antibiotic era, who grew up thinking that a pill against the disease was enough.”
no. 2 – Northwestern United States (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Stephen M. Schwartz (January 1, 1942 – March 17, 2020) “There is no way to summarize a person as complex as Steve, but I’ll say this: I have never met a person with a finer mind, a greater passion for ideas, or who had a greater love for science,” Dr. Chuck Murry “This beer virus I call it — they call it a coronavirus, I call it a beer virus — how do you like that?” Rep. Don Young
no. 3 – Iran (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Shirin Rouhani (unknown- 3/19/20) “She treated patients at Masih Daneshvari Hospital in Tehran while receiving IV therapy, because there were not enough doctors. Hospitals are faced with a lack of protective gear including medical gowns, N95 masks, gloves, and disinfectants.” -Javad Tavakoli ” Tell medècin sans frontiers that we do not need hospitals established by foreigners”. -Health Minister, Alireza Vahhabzadeh.
no. 17 (final) – New Orleans, LA, USA⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Ronald Lewis⁣ 7/17/1951-3/20/2020⁣ ⁣ “Right here in the Ninth Ward was where our people chased the American dream.”⁣ ~ Ronald Lewis⁣ ⁣ “The federal government rose to the challenge and this is a great success story and I think that that’s really what needs to be told.”⁣ ~Jared Kutchner
no. 4 – Rikers Island, New York (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated to Michael Tyson, 53 “Incredible anxiety and fear. You cannot implement effective social distancing in a room that sleeps forty men. You cannot implement effective social distancing when those forty men are using two or three sinks and one of them may be broken. You cannot implement effective social distancing when the staff interacts with all of them and has to touch all of them in the course of a day. They know that better than I know that. So when I was talking to them, I was sort of feebly saying, “We want to try to encourage people to be even more diligent about hand-washing, etc., etc.” They were, like, “O.K., we don’t have our own cleaning supplies.” They can’t wipe down their own surfaces. They have to wait for someone to come in and do that for them.” “The largest category of people in city jails are those awaiting trial — people who have not been charged but not convicted. In the ordinary course of events, getting someone in this position out of jail requires an application made in court before a judge.” -Dr. Bedard New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced on Monday that the state had found a way to counteract price gouging on hand sanitizer amid the COVID-19 outbreak: by deploying cheap prison labor. Incarcerated people will be producing the disinfectant… “This is a superior product to products now on the market,” Cuomo said in a briefing, adding that the state’s sanitizer has a “very nice floral bouquet” that includes hints of lilac, tulip, and hydrangea.
  no. 5 – Los Angeles, Mercy⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Francisco Garcia⁣ ⁣ “There’s a very limited supply, it’s a scary situation. Just going to work, driving to work, you’re worried you’re going to get something. It’s changing by the hour and by the day.” S. Beltran, ER nurse . ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “This week the State Department has facilitated the transportation of nearly 17.8 tons of donated medical supplies to the Chinese people, including masks, gowns, gauze, respirators, and other vital materials.” -Mike Pompeo, Feb 7 2020
⁣no. 6 – Wuhan (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Dr. Li Wenliang (1986-2/7/2020) “I think there should be more than one voice in a healthy society, and I don’t approve of using public power for excessive interference.” -Dr. Li Wenliang “Now, the Democrats are politicising the coronavirus… this is their new hoax.” -Donald Trump “Trump has botched the response to coronavirus pandemic…classifying deliberations makes it harder for health experts in government without security clearances to be in key meetings. This is unprecedented, unnecessary, and damages our ability to respond to the pandemic.” -Gregg Gonsalves, a Yale epidemiologist “You, Dr. Li Wenliang, have been making false comments on the Internet, and will sign a letter of admonishment.” -Police from the Wuhan Public Security Bureau, Jan 3 2020
no. 7 – Madrid (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Dr. Isabel Munoz ( 1961 -3/24/2020) “Her only obsession was not to infect anybody.” -Jesus Munoz “Even if we all get sick, I’d rather die than kill the country.” -Glenn Beck
⁣no. 8 – Johannesburg⁣ ⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Simon⁣ (unknown)⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “They put us here and now we are close to one another. This is why we will be vulnerable to catching Corona. Our government has failed us,” Simon, homeless man moved by police to stadium from the street.⁣ ⁣ “The lockdown has caused problems, but it is a necessary thing that South Africa had to do,” -Maider Mavi, Mozambique Health Ministry. “Anyone showing symptoms who goes to a state hospital will have their COVID-19 test for free.” ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “The goal here is to keep Covid out of this community,” says Sasha Lalla, a leader at COSUP, a city-supported substance abuse program.⁣ ⁣ “I think then we will be seeing a situation where people with compromised immune systems are not just at risk of Covid-19, they are at risk of death. We have a responsibility to keep our most vulnerable safe,” he said. “One case here, it would be like wildfire.”
no. 9 – New York City⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Father Antonio Checo⁣ May 6, 1952-April 1, 2020 ⁣ “Words cannot describe the sadness and hurt as well as the frustrations that this pandemic has brought about to our daily lives here and across the city…Effective today, all Episcopal churches have been ordered closed until May 17, 2020…we as your clergy are still accessible via phone as your pastors in these times. And since we cannot gather as a community until May, we want to begin to periodically send you the weekly bible readings as that you can use for private prayer worship.⁣ …take an hour each day to pray these prayers remembering those who have died because of this pandemic, as well as those who are sick and those “essential” workers on the frontlines who ensure we as citizens have access to life sustaining resources for day to day living. We ask for the blessing of peace and hope to you all, and that all are safe in this time of uncertainty and anxiety.”⁣ Rev. Antonio Checo and Rev. Jason Moskal, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it’s like, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds. We have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America.”⁣ -Rodney Howard-Browne, River Tampa Bay Megachurch
no. 10 – Tokyo ⁣⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Ken Shimura (20 February 1950 – 29 March 2020) “I never feared getting an infection myself,” he said, because he knows “how infection control should be done.” But aboard the Diamond Princess, “I was so scared of getting COVID-19.” “The cruise ship was completely inadequate in terms of the infection control.” -Kentaro Iwata, who has dealt with infectious outbreaks, including Ebola, cholera and SARS, for more than 20 years. “I’m choosing not to do it.” -donald trump, on masks
no. 12 – Washington, DC⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ ⁣ dedicated for ⁣⁣ Rabbi Romi Cohn⁣⁣ Holocaust survivor⁣⁣ March 10, 1929-March 24, 2020⁣ ⁣ “The crisis caused by the coronavirus may be the time to consider a universal basic wage.”⁣⁣ -Pope Francis ⁣ ⁣ “God will shield us from all harm and sickness. We are not afraid. We are called by God to stand against the Antichrist creeping into America’s borders.”⁣⁣ -Tony Spell3
no. 15 – Paris⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣⁣⁣ Dr. John F. Murray⁣ pulmonologist⁣ June 8, 1927 – March 24, 2020⁣ ⁣ “In all his dealings in the ICU, John treated every person with respect and held them to high standards, whether it was the intern just starting in the ICU or the fellow who was a much more senior trainee, or the nurses or the therapists. Everybody had something to offer and was treated as a member of this team.”⁣ -Courtney Broaddus⁣ ⁣ “You have to do what’s best for your business.”⁣ -Wayne Hoffman
“Audience Participation, London” 22×30″, watercolor
Houston has its Time 22×30″, watercolor
Calling in the Forces, Sunflowers 22×30″ watercolor
Skating in New York City watercolor, 22×30″
The Observers (Germany) watercolor on arches, 12×16″
  no. 13 – Atlanta⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣ Rushia Johnson Stephens⁣ music teacher⁣ 1954-2020⁣ ⁣ “Given our population density, high rate of asthma, and various underlying health conditions found within our city’s populations, I am issuing a Stay at Home Order for Atlantans.”⁣ -Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “adding a public option to Obamacare is the best way to lower costs and cover everyone. 160 million people like their private insurance.”⁣ -Joe Biden
SOLD:
no. 11 – The Bronx⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for⁣ Rakkhon Kim, a member of Branch 36 in New York City⁣ 1970-March 25,2020⁣ ⁣ “It is not an exaggeration to say that our men and women in the Postal Service, who were already performing one of the most important jobs in America, are now literally putting their own lives on the line to deliver the food, medicine, and essential supplies that hundreds of millions of Americans depend on every single day during this pandemic.”⁣ -Senator Bernard Sanders⁣ ⁣ “It’s been losing billions of dollars a year for many, many years… this is the new one, I’m now the demise of the Postal Service. I’ll tell you who’s the demise of the Postal Service, are these internet companies that give their stuff to the Postal Service…They drop everything in the post office and they say, ‘You deliver it.’ “⁣ -president Donald Trump
no. 14 – Lansing⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣⁣ Lisa Ewald⁣ nurse⁣ 1966-2020⁣⁣ ⁣ “COVID-19 has impacted the lives of so many citizens throughout the state of Michigan, and even more pronounced in the city of Detroit, as we are the fastest growing city nationally with casualties related to this deadly disease.”⁣ -Rep. Sherry Gay-Dagnogo⁣ ⁣ “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!”⁣ -Donald Trump⁣ ⁣⁣
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Top 9 Best Telescope Eyepiece for Viewing Planets Reviewed
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A DSLR is of no use without a proper lens on it to capture amazing magnified quality images, in the same way, "Eyepiece" is important for a Telescope to view far distant objects whether it might be your favorite planet Jupiter or Saturn or it might be the moon. Choosing powerful eyepiece for your Telescope is a big task and confusing. So, I will help you and guide you in which Telescope Eyepiece is good and why it is good. Here I am going to list the Top 9 best telescope eyepiece for viewing planets based on its features, price and customer feedback. Well, the truth is that I am not interested in Astronomy and all but I do enjoy viewing the planets and galaxies, I feel like I am blessed to witness the god's creation (Nature) very closely with my eyes that I never even imagined. I used to have a big size telescope when I was a kid, I and my dad had a great time spending in front of the telescope viewing the planets and galaxies. Back then we don't have eyepiece we somehow managed to be satisfied with what we got but this is modern generation new inventions and discoveries are taking place everyday So, the eyepiece is one must-have product if you have a telescope in your home or at the workplace. I will promise to help you choose the best telescope eyepiece for your one.
Top Rated Best Telescope Eyepiece For Viewing Planets
IMAGE PRODUCT DETAILS Omni Eyepiece Omni Eyepiece
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1. Celestron Omni Series 1-1/4 32MM Eyepiece Focal length: 4mm to 40mm Field of View: 52 degrees Rating: 4.8/5 Check On Amazon X-Cel LX Eyepiece X-Cel LX Eyepiece
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2. Celestron X-Cel LX Series Eyepiece 1.25-Inch 5mm Focal length: 2.3mm - 25mm Field of View: 60 degree Rating: 4.7/5 Check On Amazon SVBONY Eyepiece SVBONY Eyepiece
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3. SVBONY Eyepiece 4mm Telescope Lens Focal length: 4mm, 10mm, 23mm Field of View: 62 degree Rating: 4.7/5 Check On Amazon Meade Eyepiece Meade Eyepiece
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4. Meade Instruments 07199-2 Series 4000 Zoom Eyepiece Focal length: 8mm - 24mm Field of View: 40 degree Rating: 4.5/5 Check On Amazon Explore Scientific Eyepiece Explore Scientific Eyepiece
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5. Explore Scientific 82° 4.7mm Eyepiece Focal length: 4.7mm - 30mm Field of View: 82 degree Rating: 4.5/5 Check On Amazon Baader Planetarium Mark IV Eyepiece Baader Planetarium Mark IV Eyepiece
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6. Baader Planetarium Hyperion Clickstop Zoom Mark IV Eyepiece Focal length: 8mm - 24mm Field of View: 68 degree Rating: 4.6/5 Check On Amazon Orion E-Series Eyepiece Orion E-Series Eyepiece
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7. Orion 8200 3.6mm E-Series Telescope Eyepiece Focal length:3.6mm Field of View: N/A Rating: 4.4/5 Check On Amazon Tele Vue Eyepiece Tele Vue Eyepiece
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8. Tele Vue 13mm Ethos 2" / 1.25" Eyepiece Focal length: 13mm Field of View: 100 degree Rating: 4.3/5 Check On Amazon Explore Scientific Eyepiece Explore Scientific Eyepiece
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9. Explore Scientific 62° 40mm Waterproof Eyepiece Focal length: 40mm Field of View: 62 degree Rating: 4.6/5 Check On Amazon BONUS BONUS
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BONUS: Orion 8728 32mm Sirius Plossl Telescope Eyepiece Focal length: 32mm Field of View: 52 degree Rating: 4.3/5 Check On Amazon
Here are the Reviews of the Best Telescope Eyepiece for viewing Planets
1. Celestron Omni Series 32MM Eyepiece
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Celestron Omni Series 32MM Eyepiece Review This Celestron Omni eyepiece comes with a great 4 element Plossl optical design on its outer surface. Beautiful aluminum 1.25 barrels that come with a matte finish on it accept the filters as they are threaded. Internal reflections are minimized to a great extent with the properties of the barrels and the backend lenses. Focal Length: The Omni eyepieces offer many focal lengths from 4mm to 40mm i.e 4mm, 6mm, 9mm, 12mm, 15mm, 32mm, and 40mm focal lengths provide powerful high magnification to view the surfaces of the planets and moon. Perfect lenses with different magnification powers starting from low to high you can get all the magnifications with these eyepieces. Field of View: 52 degree ultra-wide apparent field of view enables you to view the plant surfaces and any other object on the sky very clear and closer. No virtual distortion and bad image quality are seen in this. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: Like any other eyepieces this Omni Plossl comes with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Optical Lens: This optical lens comes with a premium-looking four elements with high transmission layers to present a more detail view and clear vision. Black matte finish at the edges enables to increase of more contrast for more clear cut image formation. Final Words There is no doubt in the design and quality, rubberized eyecups are also provided for complete safety and comfort. This one the cheap and affordable in the market you can buy without any regret after purchase.
2. Celestron X-Cel LX Series Eyepiece
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Celestron X-Cel LX Series Eyepiece Review This Celestron X-Cel LX Series Eyepiece comes with a great 6 elements with various coating on its lens system. 1.25 Aluminum barrels are used which accepts the filters as they are threaded. New Popup rubberized eyepieces provide more comfort and enable contrast which can be customizable by a small twist (increasing and decreasing contrast) for more detail pictures to form. Focal Length: The Celestron X cel lx eyepieces offer many focal lengths from 2.3mm to 25mm i.e 2.3mm, 5mm, 7mm, 9mm, 12mm, 18mm, and 25mm focal lengths provide powerful high magnification to view the surfaces of the moon and your favorite plants. Great lenses with different magnification powers starting from low to high which provides different magnification rates/ powers to view the image at low, medium and high magnifications. Field of View: 60 degree apparent field of view provides bright cristal clear views almost to the edges. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: Like any other eyepieces these Celestron X cel lx eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Optical Lens: This optical lens comes with a premium-looking six elements with various high transmission layers to present a more detail view and clear vision. Final Words The 32mm is a clear winner if you are confused about these two, let me tell you why! As it produces bright cristal clear views and wider than the 40mm. So, I would recommend choosing 32mm over 40mm if you are confused about these.
3. SVBONY Eyepiece 4mm Telescope Lens Set
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SVBONY Eyepiece 4mm Telescope Lens Review This SVBONY Eyepiece comes with a standard 1.25' fitting diameter which is compatible with any telescope with 1.25" focuser. Ultra-wide 62 degree apparent field gives an amazing feeling when you see any planet or moon surfaces through your astronomical telescope. Fully multi-coated glasses for great image contrast and light transmission make to the Premium Optical system. Focal Length: The SVBONY eyepieces offer many focal lengths from 4mm, 10mm & 23mm focal lengths provide powerful high magnification for a broad field of lunar observation. You can also buy this kit which has 4mm, 10mm & 23mm which gives different magnification rates to view the planetary objects closer and clearer. Field of View: Ultra-wide 62 degree apparent field of view provides a bright and clear image of the planets and galaxies. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: SVBONY eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Optical Lens: PremiumAspheric Design with various multi-coated glasses for great contrast and high light transmission to present huge magnification to the subject. Final Words The only flaw I got to see is too much aberration and distortion only when the object is not at the center of the field of view. If you can avoid it then its good to go, you can go for this product without any doubt.
4. Meade Instruments 07199-2 Series 4000 Zoom Eyepiece
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Meade Instruments 07199-2 Series 4000 Zoom Eyepiece Review This Meade Eyepiece gives the widest viewing field with a sharp and crisp image when you see through your astronomical telescope. It comes with rubber eyecups and a custom fitter bayonet mount. It also convenient for eyeglass wearers and protects the glass from scratches on it. This eyepiece works in almost all the astronomical telescopes which use 1.25" eyepieces. Easily fits the Meade reflecting mirror telescopes. Focal Length: The Meade Instruments eyepiece offers a wide range of focal length that is from 8mm to 24mm respectively. You can also buy this kit which has 4mm, 10mm & 23mm which gives different magnification rates to view the planetary objects closer and clearer. Field of View: Ultra-wide 40 degree apparent field of view provides a crystal clear image formation on the refractor. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: Meade eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Final Words At extreme magnifications, it's getting little blur even if we adjust the focus. Other than this I didn't notice any flaw in this eyepiece. I would defiantly recommend you to buy this if you wanna need several different magnifications in one adjustable piece rather than spending money on buying different eyepieces with different magnifications.
5. Explore Scientific 82 degree 4.7mm Eyepiece
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Explore Scientific 82 degree 4.7mm Eyepiece Review This Waterproof Explore Scientific comes with different focal lengths ranging from 4.7mm to 30mm that is 4.7mm, 6.7mm, 8.8mm, 11mm, 14mm, 18mm & 30mm. As it is Waterproof Argon Purge-it is water-resistant which means it can function fully even waterfalls on it. Focal Length: The 4.7mm focal length is great for close and clear observations of the planets and other areas of the deep sky. Field of View: Ultra-wide massive 82-degree apparent field of view gives an undoubtedly an amazing crystal clear view of the space objects and moon surfaces. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: The eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary sights and for the study of your desired object in a broadway. Final Words Overall, I would highly recommend this eyepiece. Though this is a little expensive you will be satisfied with what you see through this eyepiece after purchasing, value for money for sure!
6. Baader Planetarium Hyperion Clickstop Zoom Mark IV Eyepiece
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Baader Planetarium Hyperion Clickstop Zoom Mark IV Eyepiece Review This Baader Planetarium Hyperion Eyepiece comes with a standard 1.25' fitting diameter which is compatible with any telescope with 1.25" focuser. Ultra-wide 68 degree apparent field gives an amazing feeling when you see any planet or moon surfaces through your astronomical telescope. Fully multi-coated glasses for great image contrast and light transmission make to the Premium Optical system. Focal Length: Baader Hyperion comes with a wide range of FL's from 3.5mm to 21mm focal length in five different groups. These different Fl's produces different magnifications that give the closest details of lunar surfaces and planetary bodies. Field of View: The apparent field of view is 68 degrees which gives a good field of view for an observant to study the lunar surfaces, galaxies or other changes in the space. Perfect transmissions, contrast, and color give a huge competition to its competitors. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: The Baader Hyperion comes with a common 1.25" broad-observation Focuser which allows the best closest view and sharp edges of celestial objects. Final Words After buying this you gonna say "why didn't I buy this years ago?" value for money and best investment for your telescope for any study or research on the celestial objects.
7. Orion 8200 3.6mm E-Series Telescope Eyepiece
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Orion 8200 3.6mm E-Series Telescope Eyepiece Review This Orion 8200 Eyepiece comes with a standard 1.25' fitting diameter with a barrel threaded which is compatible with any telescope with 1.25" focuser. The ultra-wide 60-degree apparent field gives an amazing feeling when you see any planet or moon surfaces through your astronomical telescope. This affordable eyepiece comes with fully coated glass optics to ensure the quality and great image formation of the celestial objects. Focal Length: The Orion 8200 eyepiece comes with a fixed 3.6mm focal length which gives excellent magnifying power to your telescope. Field of View: Ultra-wide 60 degree apparent field of view provides clearer and sharp edges of the lunar surfaces or planet surfaces. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: Orion 8200 E series eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Optical Lens: Premium build with various multi-coated glasses for great contrast and high light transmission to present huge magnification to the subject. Final Words Little Distortion can be seen other than this everything is perfect for a beginner or a hobbyist. Cheap yet comes with dozens of features and good quality!
8. Tele Vue 13mm Ethos 2″ / 1.25″ Eyepiece
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Tele Vue 13mm Ethos 2″ / 1.25″ Eyepiece Review Tele Vue comes with a fixed 13mm single focal length with a massive 100-degree apparent field of view for clear and sharp edges of the moon and planet surfaces. This eyepiece works in almost all the astronomical telescopes which use 1.25" eyepieces. Focal Length: The Tele Vue eyepiece 13mm Ethos offers only 13mm focal length which is more than enough for advance and professional researchers which ensure detailed lunar observations. Field of View: Ultra-wide 100 degree apparent field of view enables the lunar holes and planet surface bigger and clear. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: Tele Vue eyepiece come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary and galaxy surfaces. Final Words At extreme magnifications, this eyepiece works magically. Unlike all other eyepieces at the extreme magnifications, they start distortion and blur but this Tele Vue Ethos doesn't distort and blur. Best Eyepiece for long term research and for professional observation and study.
9. Explore Scientific 62° 40mm Waterproof Eyepiece
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Explore Scientific 62° 40mm Waterproof Eyepiece Review This Waterproof Explore Scientific 40mm comes with different focal lengths ranging from 5.5mm to 40mm that is 5.5mm, 9mm, 14mm, 20mm, 26mm, 32mm & 40mm. As it is Waterproof Argon Purge-it is water-resistant which means it can function fully even waterfalls on it. Focal Length: The 40mm focal length is great for close and clear observations of the planets and other areas of the deep sky. Field of View: Ultra-wide massive 62-degree apparent field of view gives an undoubtedly an amazing crystal clear view of the space objects and moon surfaces. Broad-Observation Focuser Lens: The eyepieces come with standard 1.25" broad observation focuser lens for detail planetary sights and for the study of your desired object in a broadway. Final Words Overall, I would highly recommend this eyepiece. Though this is a little expensive you will be satisfied with what you see through this eyepiece after purchasing, value for money for sure! FAQ I hope you find this article "Best telescope eyepiece for viewing planets" helpful. If you find this article helpful then please share your feedback in the comment section below and be connected with us by following our social profiles. For any business-related queries contact us right now or mail us at [email protected]. Read the full article
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sverigjerik23-blog · 5 years
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I need to get good insurance for my SLR?
I need to get good insurance for my SLR?
I have a Canon EOS 450D SLR camera and I would like to get it insured. It s not a really expensive model compared to a lot of the stuff that s out there but i would still be GUTTED to lose it and wouldn t be able to replace it overnight. Can anyone recommend a good insurance company? I need to cover against accidental damage and loss/ theft and i also need the insurance to cover the camera when I am overseas. Any advice would be much appreciated!!! The camera with its lens and flash is worth around 700 xx
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotesINSUREFOREVERYBODY.INFO
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mohamed50munch-blog · 5 years
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State Farm Insurance Rate Question?
My dad added a new plan to his inurnace coverage that teh insurance rep told him would only cost him $3 a month. Next thing we know, our premium goes up by about $100. Is there a way to tell if the lady lied about the $3 a month thing and that it really was more like $15-$20 a month? I asked another rep and she said that there was a rate increase.It very well may be a rate increase, but these people just seem so incredibly shady that I'm not putting it past them one second to lie. Perhaps I can ask a different state farm why there was an increase in our bill? Basically, how can I find out for SURE what that $100 increase was for? Without asking the reps we usually go through? Perhaps call the main State Farm branch? Thanks! I recommend that you visit this web site where you can compare quotes from different companies: http://cheapinsurancequotes1.info What's the best and cheapest auto insurance to get a 17yr old in Birmingham? I'm next year, although I'm not 17 nonetheless. 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Could somebody please tell me easily still must pay my excess after a claim on my car insurance, it had been my mistake and a lot of destruction was performed towards the third party car, i never got mine set...the thing thats puzzling me if is my insurance is up for rebirth next month but my existing insurance is offered over 1000 I have observed it a lot less elsewhere so if program im causing my insurance, but am I going to receive a notice stating i owe them the extra, when I settled nothing at that time of the claim?" Can you begin are quickly when you receive your nationwide insurance amount at 15? Ive just left college and that I need a job for the summer but my birthday is not till september. Ive received my national insurance Did you pay just how old where and for your insurance you? I'm 17 now, and i desire to purchase a 125, normally what you think i would have to pay" Where may I locate disability insurance? 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Then my mother took me . I'd a claim. Howmuch will insurance charge me anyhow I got pulled over without any evidence of insurance, I payed the penalty for it? I live in Orlando FL" Whats the lowest priced insurance to get a mustang gt for a 16 that is male? Never owned an automobile before got my permit planning to switch 16 looking at this mustang on craigslist Common healthinsurance annual control? Howmuch may be the US medical insurance annual limit. I'm talking about the quantity the insurance company will probably pay towards the health provider. NOT what the client would pay. IE: I go with insurance to the hospital for chest pains. I pay a deductible (a) as well as the insurance company gives the rest (t). Many insurance firms have a control for the sum they will pay towards (t). I must understand what the average control is. Probably I'm merely doing it wrong, although Google is failing me below. Just to be clear: I am looking for a dollar amount not really a proportion. I am not considering exactly what the individual pays, exactly what the organization pays. Thanks!" Wht is n distinction between 1 st occasion insurance and 3rd party insurance? i have a ford deo 2004 type which insurance should i go for...why and the way much must it cost ? Howmuch is auto insurance to get a 17-year old boy who is workin junk food? How much is car insurance for a 17-year old boy who is take out that is workin? State Farm Insurance Rate Question? My dad added a new plan to his inurnace coverage that teh insurance rep told him would only cost him $3 a month. Next thing we know, our premium goes up by about $100. Is there a way to tell if the lady lied about the $3 a month thing and that it really was more like $15-$20 a month? I asked another rep and she said that there was a rate increase.It very well may be a rate increase, but these people just seem so incredibly shady that I'm not putting it past them one second to lie. Perhaps I can ask a different state farm why there was an increase in our bill? Basically, how can I find out for SURE what that $100 increase was for? Without asking the reps we usually go through? Perhaps call the main State Farm branch? Thanks! I recommend that you visit this web site where you can compare quotes from different companies: http://cheapinsurancequotes1.info Auto insurance question? Our daughter's sweetheart closed her vehicle to my man to get chraper imsurance of these for the two on his policy. I dont consider this is whenever they be in a major accident, a great idea, what can occur to us?" Cheapest 600cc sportbike to maintain? Which of these bikes of the 600cc category could be the cheapest to keep in terms of insurance, gas, maintenance, etc...(therefore which will be the cheapest incorporating many of these factor) the cycles = kawasaki zx6r, honda cbr600rr, yamaha r6, suzuki gsxr 600" Could it be correct that the majority Americans that have medical health insurance are becoming it from their or the federal government? Condition? If this can be not false you will want to have affordable health care for all. We all cannot work with that state we live in. Many corporations cannot afford...show more or for the federal government" Coverage characteristics of medical insurance? What are a number of the coverage qualities of health insurance Pregnant and sacrificing insurance? I recently got laid-off and don't want to utilize COBRA due to the high-cost. And so I do not think I - can apply for Medicaid or Medical, I'm only 31. I also realize that I cannot because I am already pregnant, get fresh insurance. 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I understand that for legal reasons they have to give that data to me. please help i have no idea how to get this information Howmuch are you currently spending money on the kids motor insurance? Recently 800 with taxes involved. 127 dollars are paid by me a month for insurance. She's going to be able to get on her own and 16. She has not many friends, gets great marks and is quite liable. Just how much do you buy your youngster's insurance? I noticed that acquiring them a sports-car could produce the insurance proceed quite high but that'snot been the event." "Just how do I drive a brand new auto residence basically can't get insurance about it for another two weeks?" Our insurance carrier said before they can provide me insurance to the car they require the car title. This doesn't make any sensation, the supplier state they CAn't since it's not their responsbility, after it's purchased retain the vehicle. But I need to choose the vehicle to acquire the concept and the title will not be processed for 1-2 months. Therefore once I choose the vehicle I have to go on it home but that means operating without insurance, what's happening listed here is it ok?" "Do basically forced an uninsured car while I possessed another covered automobile I have to pay for my insurance solution? Here is what happened: my mother got a speeding ticket plus an insurance solution and forced my car that is uninsured. Since she owns a car with existing insurance (its just this one period that she happened to travel my automobile) will I have to acquire insurance for judge to lessen her ticket? Or can the ticket get ignored because she previously had insurance (merely on her auto)? Simply how much wouldn't it cost to insure a Dodge Stealth? I'm scared it'd cost to much money to insure being I'm 17 although I had been taking a look at Dodge Stealths. I'm not discussing the twin-turbo model, I mean the base (which has about 125hp), the ES (about 222hp), or even the R/T(just like ES but also includes a turbocharger). The automobile weighs about 2500lbs I really believe (if that also things), additionally I'd not be getting any upgraded body products because of it. Don't just claim a whole lot or anything to that magnitude. Thank you for your time." Just how much would Insurance be for a Porsche 924 in Britain? Hello guys, I am planning to be switching 21 this August and desire to choose up a porsche 924 up. Do you know around this might charge me in terms of insurance expenses? Thanks beforehand! -R" "Easily got a ovi lowered to dangerous op, just how much will my car insurance go up?" My lawyer started using it lowered to your careless op, although i wound up being billed m a ovi and was stopped. Just how much will my insurance go up and the way many items on my licensee may that be?" Where can a primary occasion driver obtain economical motor insurance? My children does not want to set me under their coverage. This Friday I'm 17 and will get my license. I create minimum wage ($7.25 and time) I'll be driving my mom's vehicle. Is there any insurance I - can afford on my own?" Medical Insurance for Lowincome? We're looking for a reasonable health insurance plan. I'm 39 and my spouse is 45 living in San Francisco Bay Area. Healthy and never had incidents or disease that is major. We used to possess $25 for every single visit and a kaiser plan around $600/m. Any better specials? What's the life insurance that is common sum people takeout? What's the average life insurance sum individuals take-out? "Does anybody know of a high deductable, premium medical health insurance that is low?" Where I would possess a deductable of $10,000 I'm buying disastrous insurance plan... I'd buy office visits and medications." Insurance over a car that is reeeeeeally? So here's my account. the point is, I dont knowhow although I wish to learn to get standard before I purchase my significant automobile! Now, I Have expected everyone I understand that could drive typical to teach me but no-one has retained their word. I came across a cheap car that's typical (includes a turbo also!) to get a really low price. When Iam driving the car household (when/easily get it) when Im driving around learning just how to get a typical, do I require insurance about the car? Is there so that I dont need to spend that much insurance anything I will SAYSO to the insurer? Till I'm comfortable driving one I intend to travel the car for perhaps two weeks. Do I must obtain a new one? May I just restore a classic menu I've laying around? Cheers!" Is medicaid excellent insurance? Im pregnant, nn I'm currently unemployed, without health insurance, if medicaid ia great insurance and I was just wondering?" Howmuch is auto insurance for a teen? I'm 16,I've a 2002 Camaro SS,I reside in Lasvegas,Nevada.(do not stalk me lol).My daddy has Geico insurance.What otherwise do you want to understand?" Car-insurance questions? a sweetheart came along and I had been parked facing my house and hit on my car totalling it from the looks. I do believe I just signed-up for basic insurance. Since she hit my left vehicle, may be the towing and expense for preserving my car included on my insurance or hers? Easily might get an automobile rental in any way, as well as do not know? If the car is totalled may they pay me to obtain a new car and that I was thinking? Or simply spend me some money back for that auto? It suggests under actual cash-value that is collision. Because I can not determine what I've with this report or if it continues hers cheers for any responses!" "Should you not need medical health insurance, what's probably the most affordable and secure approach to obtain a knee-replacement?" Should you not have health insurance, what's the safe and most economical method to get a knee-replacement?" How much is vehicle insurance.? What motor insurance for a driver,sweetheart 27.for a 6 seat vehicle,price 1.000. From a little nottingham city ng177JEM" Usually Cheapest Car Insurance Company in Boston? Strategies anybody? Everyone identified a company that is better overall and shopped around? Travel Car Insurance? Does anyone know of any sites that can enable insurance on the vehicle for approximately a week just for vacation? I utilizing my momis auto and am going to Nevada but I have to acquire insurance onto it but I just are interested for your week. Any tips?? State Farm Insurance Rate Question? My dad added a new plan to his inurnace coverage that teh insurance rep told him would only cost him $3 a month. Next thing we know, our premium goes up by about $100. Is there a way to tell if the lady lied about the $3 a month thing and that it really was more like $15-$20 a month? I asked another rep and she said that there was a rate increase.It very well may be a rate increase, but these people just seem so incredibly shady that I'm not putting it past them one second to lie. Perhaps I can ask a different state farm why there was an increase in our bill? Basically, how can I find out for SURE what that $100 increase was for? Without asking the reps we usually go through? Perhaps call the main State Farm branch? Thanks! I recommend that you visit this web site where you can compare quotes from different companies: http://cheapinsurancequotes1.info
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tumblunni · 6 years
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I AM MR FITNESS
26/10 Big failure day! I shouldnt have had that caffinated drink yesterday at the big shopping thing cos WOW i was exhausted after so much Accomplishment and then tje caffeine made my sleeping pattern all bad. I woke up late today and it was only 2:30 so i could have theoretically made it to the doctor appointment at 3 but i just got so anxious cos it was such a rush. So i just flaked out on going and i didnt even call them to cancel and im so damn dissappointed in myself aa... This is the first anxiety failure ive had since i left park road...
And then i wasted so much time by waking up late so i felt like it was already too late and i wasmt gonna be able to clean up the kitchen before monday even tho its three days away and i know im being stupid. Just trying to fall into a spiral of failure again!
So umm yeah i only managed to clean 50% of the floor before the sun went down and cos the lightbulb's broken i cant really see enough to clean at night and AAA also i didnt go out today to pay the heating bill cos i felt like id be ashamed walking past the doctors office and knowing i failed.
I just feel like a big pile o fails...
So umm yeah at least i tried to stop procrastinating finishing that google doc about one of my videogame ideas. That's finished now and i shared it with my friends but now i just feel even more on edge waiting for anyone to reply...
Man what a shitty day! Im gonna go wear one of the cute shirts i bought yesterday to try and cheer up. And also cos its freezing cold and i have no heating lol...
Maybe i should try and go on a late night walk just to make this whole day not be a total failure? Aaaa...
I DID EXACTLY THAT
holy fuckin shit i walked 5 kilometres at midnight to find the fuckIN ONLY SHOP STILL OPEN 24 HOURS TO PAY HEATING BILLS
I got a taxi back tho cos i was not only Absolutely Died but also my phone was almost out of battery and i knew i cpuldnt retrace my steps without google maps
I feel weirdly energized and accomplished?? Even though it wasnt anything on my to-do list and it was just a pointless challenge i set myself for literally no reason?? I guess making up a new accomplishment after failing the one i was acrually supposed to do is sort of a way to fight off the self hate. Either that or just its harder to be anxious when you're Exhausted
Anyway i had a nice hot chocolate at The Only 24 Hour Heating Bills Store That Is 5 Kilometres Away, and the taxi driver who helped me get back home was real nice and sympathetic. TOTALLY frustrating to see how quick it is to get back home by car tho! Like under ten minutes and a super cheap taxi ride! He could just go straight there, not spend two hours navigating insane alleyways through people's gardens and mysterious bridges over the river styx. Seriously why is st mellons such a fuckin maze if you wanna get anywhere by foot? Oh well, at least it was mildly more interesting that way. And i can feel accomplished for getting past that Death Bridge despite my fear of even ordinary bridges. I think i just reached the point wher ei was like "fuck im already halfway there, i cant turn back even if it means runnibg over a bridge completely blind and not knowing whats a shadow and what's a hole in the boards". Fuckin hell mate, do some maintenance on that thibg! Or at least install a streetlamp! It wasnt even on the map so wtf did i actually enter a pocket dimension? I also saw the exact same make and model of TV i just threw out, 4 kilimetres away from my house. Like its a friggin 2003 era old crt monitor so what's the friggin odds? Was it the styx of electronics..? Was it ROTOM'S BRIDGE..??
anyway holy fuck im gonna go have THE HOTTEST BATH
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artificialqueens · 7 years
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party chapter thirteen - shalaska - pureCAMP
A/N - i know it’s been so long. in fact, it’s been about eight months. it became difficult for me to continue this fic after it coming under fire so much. i was told it was cheap and stupid and as a fairly young writer, it got to me. i lost all motivation.
but we were so close to the end. we were moments away.
it’s short. but this is how i envisioned it. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much to anyone who read this. it means a lot <3
Their cab ride back home had been spent in a relatively awkward silence. For one, it seemed as though Sharon was slightly more rattled from running into her ex than she wanted to let on. Her knee was bouncing, the bones prominent through the thin fabric of her jeans. Alaska just needed a moment to mull over what had just happened, from the encounter right up to the impromptu confession she’d made.
It wasn’t a big deal, right? That was what the whole debacle spanning several months had been about. Alaska loved Sharon. Sharon loved Alaska. It had, essentially, ruined a tour, Sharon’s health, and the peace of mind of nearly all of their friends. So it wasn’t a big deal, that much was clear now. They were in love.
And yet it still felt like one. Mark’s words rang in her ears incessantly.
You’re good at brainwashing people, Aaron.
Sharon wasn’t a bad person. A four year relationship and a friendship afterwards had cemented that fact in Alaska’s mind. But that didn’t change that Sharon had an ugly side, a darker side, beyond the one that was revealed under the influence of illicit substances. There was the side of her that was nihilistic, offensive, the side that didn’t give a shit because she didn’t have a reason to. That side of her was rare, but it still existed.
Surely Sharon wasn’t lying, though. They’d been through so much together. No matter how cheap and stupid it may have seemed, the hard times had brought them together. It had been a wake-up call in many circumstances, from relationships to just plain health. It wasn’t something Sharon could lie about.
As they walked towards the front door – Sharon having paid for the ride and taken hold of Alaska’s hand as soon as they stepped out – Alaska started to relax again. She was just getting stressed; it was natural after such a weird turn of events. To walk hand in hand in the streets of Pittsburgh, a city now infamous thanks to the pair of them, that in itself was enough to skew her mind a little bit. Mark and his stupid little mind games were just the cherry on top of the stress cake.
Sharon flung herself down onto her couch as soon as she got inside, too tired to even properly take her shoes off. Instead, she opted to kick and shake them off as best as she could as she sank into the cushions, pulling Alaska down with her.
“So, you just said you loved me.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.” Sharon persisted. “I heard it. I heard it come right out of your little mouth.”
Alaska chuckled at the childish game. “You must have me confused with someone else.”
“Like who?” Sharon laughed. “Who could I possibly have you confused with?”
She pretended to think. “Hmm. A boa constrictor?”
“I prefer feather boas.” Sharon muttered decisively. “They’re prettier. I know I heard you, Lasky. I even said it back. Don’t deny it.”
“Well then,” Alaska replied smugly. “If you know you heard it, why do you need to mention it again?”
Sharon puckered her lips for a kiss. Alaska gladly obliged.
“To make extra sure.” She said. “You don’t think I spent so many months worrying about this not to double check it, did you?”
Alaska softened. “The worrying can stop, Noodles. No amount of ugly exes, past relationships or overdoses are gonna stop me from loving you. I’m not encouraging any of those things, but… they won’t stop me loving you the way I do. Things turned out okay in the end, didn’t they?”
Alaska knew the saying was ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, but she wanted to change it. Stronger was perhaps a better word. They’d broken each other down and built one another back up again over years and years, and if anything, their hearts were stronger than they’d been before. More in tune than they’d ever been before. It seemed a break was all they needed, and that was all it had been; a break, not a break up.
The pair were comfortably silent for a while. There was no need to dive on top of one another, ravaging each other with kisses and sex and hickeys and everything that the love novels suggested. Rekindling a fire never encompassed dumping a bottle of gasoline and a box of matches onto the wood. Like a fire, it needed to be dealt with slowly, carefully, bit by bit until they got it right.
They had all the time in the world.
-
(7) New Messages
Willam: Alaska
Willam: Alaska
Willam: Goddammit you fucking snake why are you never awake when important news is breaking
Willam: good luck when you wake up bitch
Courtney: bill! This is serious!
Michelle: Not sure if you’ve seen Instagram and Twitter, but I’d hurry there if I were you. I’m guessing you’re not awake, but…
- Michelle Visage has sent a link –
It had been so comfortable, sat next to Sharon on the couch in silence, that Alaska wasn’t even aware the pair of them had drifted off until she suddenly awoke. Sharon’s hand was resting on her thigh, her head on her neck, and in Alaska’s right hand her phone flashed continuously. Stirring herself cautiously, so as not to wake up Sharon, she unlocked it and groggily read her messages.
Oh for fuck’s sake, she thought to herself. Not again. Why is it that the moment I’m happy, the moment anything good happens, something appears online?
A feeble part of her brain tried to convince herself otherwise. Maybe it wasn’t what she thought? Maybe it was just some snotty club cancelling one of her gigs, another article proclaiming Sharon to be a drug-obsessed Nazi – something standard and easy to brush off. There was a good chance it was another fan taking a stab at finding proof of ‘shalaska’, which again was fairly easy to ignore, if slightly amusing. Some of their theories were wild and some of them were, well, hilariously accurate.
Feeling a little blasé about the whole thing, Alaska opened her twitter. Nothing unusual. Mrs Kasha Davis spreading her positivity. A naked black guy with a gigantic cock, with a small ‘liked by Coco Montrese’ at the top of the photo. Katya spouting strangely ominous nonsense. Phi Phi interacting with fans. Ultimately, nothing seemed out of place.
She clicked trending. Various idiotic topics greeted her as usual. A sporting event, the resignation of a famous player who played… something, a funny hashtag about describing your boss with a movie title, and –
Oh.
That was what they meant.
Despite the words seeming frivolous, Alaska’s heart rate sped up upon reading them. #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty was one of the few trending topics, with a couple of hundred tweets about it.
Heart suddenly filled with dread, Alaska clicked. The first tweet, the most liked and retweeted one of all, was from an oddly familiar source.
Mark - @thatmarkman – Feb 1st
Imagine your already-shitty boyfriend leaving you to go date/fuck the ex that he abused #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty @SHARON_NEEDLES
-picture-
Enlarging the image, Alaska saw it was of herself – blurry, and from the back, but most definitely her. Her hand was entwined with the hand of somebody who hadn’t quite made it into the picture, but she knew was Sharon.
She swiped. This time the two of them were in it, still holding hands, at a side angle that would easily clear any doubts over the first image. Sharon’s side profile was abundantly clear, Alaska’s face almost fully visible. It was incriminating evidence.
angie<3 - @katyasbabyslut2004 – Feb 1st
WHY IS @SHARON_NEEDLES TRYING TO RUIN ALASKA’S CAREER JUST LIKE HERS >:( #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty
Ben||3 days - @delanoactzamomattel – Feb 1st
Wow i sure do love unstanning racist nazi cheaters! #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty
Victoria Ulgard - @trixyalaska49 – Feb 1st
Sum1 tell me this is photoshopped #sharonneedlesisoverparty
56 days - @adoorcilantrosplaid – Feb 1st
Feel like ive waited years for this damn hashtag to be a thing #SharonNeedlesIsOverParty #FINALLY
AB - @kimorasblackk – Feb 1st
Ew shalaska really? #gross #sharonneedlesisOVERparty
Leon :D - @leoshakesqueere1 – Feb 1st
Can someone explain whats going on omg i thought they broke up bc it was abusive?? #shalaska?? #sharonneedlesisoverparty
They went on and on, each one slamming Sharon, or Alaska, or both of them. A few were kind, clogging up the negative tag with positivity, but it did little to fix the issue.
Everything was now out in the open.
This was the last thing Sharon needed, and Alaska knew it. The recovery would be, and already had been, rough. It wasn’t going to get any easier anytime soon, and she didn’t need the added stress of seeing people going bananas over something that didn’t involve them. Sharon was more private than she liked to let on – this would only stress her out.
“Lasky?”
Alaska had been so caught up in scrolling through the madness that she didn’t notice Sharon stirring on her shoulder until the older queen spoke. She was squinting, her glasses having fallen off into her lap, and her brow was furrowed down at her own mobile.
“Why is Michelle texting me?”
A heavy sigh escaped from Alaska’s lips. She couldn’t lie about it. It was inevitable that Sharon would find out; she might as well deliver the news as gently as she could.
“…Your asshole of an ex told the world about us.”
She waited for the reaction.
After a couple of seconds of silence, Sharon nestled down into Alaska’s shoulder again, her eyelids still heavy from sleep.
She yawned. “Is that it?”
Alaska shifted her arm to pull Sharon closer to her, appreciating the calming warmth of having another body by her side. Sharon dropped her phone into her lap, not caring about it, and opened her eyes momentarily to gaze into Alaska’s.
“The thing is…” She began sluggishly, clearly still half-asleep. “It doesn’t fucking matter… ‘cause, I love you baby. ‘N you love me too. The whole world don’t have to love us.”
Within seconds of soliloquising, her eyes were closed again, her body growing heavier against Alaska’s. She sounded so sure, so certain, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It didn’t matter, she was positive. All that mattered was their love shared, right?
Alaska wasn’t as convinced as she wanted to be. “I don’t know, Sharon… this could have repercussions. It’s so soon…”
“Trust me, pumpkin… you lose a gig, I lose a gig… doesn’t matter. We’re famous ‘n involved in a scandal. We’re hot shit.”
The words were so painfully Sharon that Alaska couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe she was right after all. Logically, she knew it wasn’t going to get any worse than this. Mean tweets, or perhaps a rude comment, or something snotty on Reddit – that would be the beginning and end of their troubles. Of course Sharon’s overdose would remain a problem, but at the same time, the news was dying down. It seemed as though, when it came to Ru Girls, everything flared up for days and then dissipated again.
It was cliché. Beyond cliché. But that didn’t matter. Alaska switched off her phone, putting it face down on the coffee table and gently stroking Sharon’s hair.
Gigs didn’t matter. Mean comments didn’t matter. Unkind tweet and speculations didn’t matter.
What mattered was happiness, love and health.
Happiness. Only months ago, Alaska had expected she wouldn’t find proper happiness again. Confusion shrouded her mind from the obvious, pulling her away from her instinctive thoughts. She stopped following her gut and started following her head, knowing in the back of her mind that this was the same head that caused her self-depreciating thoughts. The head that caused the meltdowns, the tantrums, the angry fits that made her appear overly-competitive and petty. In hindsight, she needn’t have listened to her head. Her heart knew what it wanted. Her heart knew what it needed.
Love. That had been the difficult one. She hadn’t even wanted to recognise the way she was feeling, and had just silenced herself in order to keep up the illusion. In a hotel years ago, she’d decided to listen to her heart and break away – and in another hotel later on, she’d decided not to. For so long she denied herself the very idea; love doesn’t die when a relationship does. It had taken a while. And maybe, just maybe, it didn’t feel as explosive and all-consuming and fiery as it had when they were young, dumb and broke. Maybe, just maybe, the gentle warmth and softness between them, the delicacy of Sharon’s sleeping face and the weight of her body next to her, was enough. Maybe, just maybe, that was love too.
Health. Admittedly, they weren’t doing too well at this one. But it was a start. Sharon was starting to get better. The problem was acknowledged, and being tackled. After one of her many mood swings from angry to guilty, she’d told Alaska she was going to limit her cigarette intake. Originally, she’d decided to quit completely – a resolution that lasted all of five minutes before a craving struck her. Still, it was something. Drugs were out of the window and cigarettes were slowly disappearing. It was something. Progression.
It wasn’t perfect. They would never be perfect. Alaska would always be sensitive, a perfectionist, and prone to reacting negatively when things didn’t always go her way. Sharon would always want to find solace in a bar, to block out the bad feelings with a substance or two, and revert back to her old ways. They would never be perfect. And love certainly wasn’t going to fix that.
But there was nothing they could do to change the imperfections.
So, with as much blasé as she could muster, a brief imitation of her old old friend, Alaska smiled to herself.
Party.
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wwiilettershome · 5 years
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Aug. 23, 1943
Dear Emma,
Just a line. Just wrote Bobbie and sent him $100 and a few air mail envelopes. Will enclose map and a letter of his I got tonight.
Went to see “Coney Island” last night it was a very good picture. (1) Don’t know whether you saw it or not. Don’t know as you need to bring that Kodak with you. Guess we can get all the pictures we want with this one unless Henry should want it back.
With Love,
Henry.
---
[Letterhead:] CAMP ROBERTS CALIFORNIA
August 19, 1943
Camp Roberts, Cal.
I
Dear Pop,
I just got your letter dated Aug 16 and I was very glad to hear from you. I think I have already told you that I got both your other letters but if not I’ll repeat it.
My address is
Pvt. Robert Dowst 31373722
Co. A, 1st Platoon, 80 Inf. Trng. Bn,
Camp Roberts, California
I also got my first < (an officer just walked in + somebody yelled “attention” that ruined my (+)) letter from Ma directly. With it a letter from George Johnson,(2) Fred Minolt (3), and one from Carol Whitney. (4) Mail reaches me in a crazy sequence I guess. Ma said in her letter (the 1st one we received) that she had already written me a letter but I haven’t got it yet. If I were to pay my way back east round trip is something like $64 from here. (5) To 
II
Cincinnati wouldn’t be quite as bad. I don’t have to worry about that for some time though because we don’t get a furlough till we finish basic + if we get sent to college we don’t get any. Only if we’re ready to be shipped will we get one.
I’d like some salted nuts O.K. Candy isn’t too good for us because it’s apt to make us sweat more but anything like salted nuts is very good. I’ve already asked Ma for $5 from my money + I’ve also asked her for some clothes hangers, plain white Turkish towels, and my fountain pen so I can’t think of anything else. The only reason I asked her for the money is that we may not get paid till the end of September, and it costs me as much to live here as it does Henry at college. We pay to clean our uniforms because the laundry isn’t available yet (if it were + the money was deducted from our pay it would be easier but it costs 75¢ to clean + press 1 set of suntans.
III
Then is costs 75¢ a week for haircuts and I always like to eat ice cream + cookies at the PX (I can eat + eat + never get full, the reason being I can’t eat between meals at all and I get awful hungry. The 1st month I have 2 months insurance taken out ($6:50 a month (sic)) That’s $13 plus $3.75 for war bonds is about $14 out the first month which will leave about $36. Of course I’ve been in almost a month now + I haven’t signed any payroll + if you don’t sign by the 15th you don’t get paid at the end of the month. If I wait till the end of the September (sic) I’ll get about $80 or at least I ought to then I can send some back. But when I get paid I already have some of it spent for more G.I. socks and underwear. This underwear is much better than those jockey shorts I used to wear, but I’ve only got 2 pairs. I’ve ordered 2 more pair
[End page 3]
IV
Of heavy woolen socks from the Lieutenant but he has to go to the L.M. to get them and lord only knows when he’ll get around to it. Then I also want to have some decent pictures taken. 
Did Ma send you those I had taken in St. Louis? They weren’t very good because I was hot + dirty from the trip. (6) Then after I keep out some for myself I’ll send the rest. One thing we get good + cheap is ice cream. 15¢ for a pint. A pint + a package of those cellophane cookies will fill me up pretty well just before I go to bed. When I go to the movies I limit myself to a package of popcorn. I saw that picture “The Black Swan” by Raphael Sabatini (sic). I think you told me about it once and I couldn’t get to see it so when I saw it was at theater No. 1 I went. (7)
Yesterday we had quite an extensive gas mask drill. We had to be able to put them on in a maximum of 15 sec. Then when we could do that, they made us march + run in them for about a half hour + boy that even almost got my wind. One advantage of them was that the dust didn’t bother at all. I have a gas mask of the very latest type. Some guys got older models. When we leave here we keep them with us. They’re good for 40 hrs in a normal concentration of gas. Later on we’ll use them in the gas chamber. We also have to sniff different gases to be able to recognize them. Today we’ve been learning different combat formations + signals. The whole general idea is not to be in line with anyone or near anyone in all these formations. There are all sorts – 
[End page 5]
- of reasons for these + each formation has its own advantage. I don’t know whether I’m telling you anything I’m not supposed to or not we aren’t supposed to tell hardly anything. They keep drilling this into us. Of course I know you’re O.K. but to the army this is no excuse so if I say anything very “military” or anything why don’t talk about it too much. I know enthusiasm is one of the reasons by which soldiers unwittingly give out information + believe me you can’t help being enthusiastic when you see some of these weapons you just want to tell the whole world about them + how good they are but we can’t. For instance the “Bazooka” you’ve heard of it not doubt we are strictly forbidden to talk to anyone about it. (8) Well I guess I’ll go to the P.X. + get some postcards for Ma. She wanted to see some pictures of the camp. She’ll probably show them to you sometime.
Love,
Bobbie
Footnotes:
(1) Coney Island (1943), was a musical starring Betty Grable, released in June that year.
(2) Found a few George Johnsons in NH, but none seem like the right one, and when I tried to narrow it to Epsom, I found that there was a British George Johnson that isolated Epsom Salts, alas!  (3) No hits :-(  (4) No relevant hits :-( 
(5) $64 in Aug. 1943 is $949.12 now, according to the inflation calculator. That seems excessive, but remember 1) there was a war on so prices would be high due to gas/fuel rationing and trying to limit unnecessary travel 2) this is before deregulation in the 80s so travel itself was a luxury even without war times, and 3) this is even before the development of the interstate highway system. 
(6) No pictures that I’m aware of, but still a few boxes of photos to get through let alone the letters I’m transcribing
(7) The Black Swan (1942) is a colorful, action-packed pirate movie based on the novel by Rafael Sabatini. My dad and I watched it together about a year ago on the TCM channel. – Steven
(8) The M1 hand-held rocket grenade launcher was invented in 1942 by US Lieutenant Edward Uhl. The term “Bazooka” was given to it as a humorous comparison, based on the weapon’s shape to a silly long-horned instrument called a “bazooka” that was played by the comedian Bob Burns in the 1930’s: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bazooka
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sapphirescales · 7 years
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LILY!!! do you have skincare tips? i've got oily skin and i'm looking for things i can do when my Depression makes it hard to maintain a routine :(
UMMMM well idk like,,, my skin isnt all that great either esp when The Stress hits but i’ll jot down some stuff tht i can think of, but i’ll preface it w my skin is combination skin -- i’ve got a rly oily t-zone and then the rest of my face (esp my cheeks) are a little dry so i guess my skin tends to be more oily than anything, and my skin is SUPER SENSITIVE, but anyway
for facewashes and face creams: use gel stuff instead of foam or cream stuff! i switched my foam cleanser for a gel cleanser, and my moisturiser cream for a moisturiser gel and it helped so much. gel stuff tends to be a lil bit more expensive but it’s worth it imho. also try and get stuff which are parabens-free, bc stuff w parabens in it usually makes my acne go Mad. some stuff i’ve used/stuff i know about: sugar’s cucumber face wash gel, clinelle’s hydracalm facewash gel & hydracalm moisturiser, st ives’ green tea cleanser, origins’ make a difference plus+ rejuvenating cream (a gel moisturiser & a lil high-end aka super pricet), the face shop’s jeju aloe gel (there’s a huge tub sold here for like rm22 something something and honestly aloe gel is so cooling and soothing). i’ve also heard some really great stuff about origins’ oil cleanser (and oil cleansers in general) but i haven’t used it personally.
get urself a good toner! again, try and stay away from parabens-containing products but investing in a good toner will help your products sink in better and also help with regards to oil control. i’m using origins’ mega-bright skin illuminating treatment lotion, from their dr andrew weil line, and idk of many toners that are parabens free, so if you know any feel free 2 add to the comments i guess
your diet tends to reflect on your face. i dont eat v healthy tbh but i find that if i take a lot of dairy products, my acne tends to get worse. try and see if there are similar food products for you -- i know my cousins have issues with lots of processed food. not to say Cut It Out Entirely but reducing/cutting back can really help. my skin is also v v oily if i don’t drink enough water and get in enough greens, so i try to do that as often as i can. keep some water next to where you’re working or using your laptop, use a cool mason jar or water bottle or sippy cup or WHATEVER tbh as long as it makes you actually drink water and keep yourself hydrated
use a nice scrub or an alternative to a scrub: i use st ives’ green tea scrub (which is also parabens free and v affordable imo) and i also bought a tiny lil silicone sponge from watson’s which is like rm22 or something? and i use that with my gel cleanser. but the goal is to really gently exfoliate your skin without irritating it or drying it out. bc the sponge is made of silicone, it lasts FOREVER as well and you’ll see a difference in the texture of your skin in no time. making sure less dead cells are on your skin also helps w my oil production idk why??? but it Does so sdlfkj
face care with make-up is so, so important. use a primer or a pore filler before you put on make-up -- not only will it help your make-up stay on for longer but it also stops make-up getting INTO your pores and making your skin situation worse. afterwards, i usually wipe off my make-up with a (i know u guys are sick of this by now) parabens-free or a really gentle make-up wipe (like one from simple), and then i go back in with micellar water or baby oil in order to really clear out my pores. i use a quick scrub, tone and moisturise. wearing make-up often makes my skin oilier sometimes bc my make-up (which is mattifying bc oily t-zone) dries my skin out and then makes it overproduce oil again later, so if i don’t gotta use make-up, i try not to / minimise how much make-up i use (e.g. just using it for under-eye concealing or concealing acne scars/major acne)
on that note, if you don’t gotta use a cleanser, don’t? like i know most ppl are gonna scream but honestly if you were just at home all day and didn’t go anywhere or do anything to your skin, just splash on some micellar water to clear off the products off your skin from the day before/last night and you’re going to be fine??? super easy, zero fuss.
also, if youre wearing make-up, and youve got oily skin/oily areas, youre gonna have to be a lil aware sometimes and like. dab at your face w a sponge or a tissue v gently to wipe off the oil. setting your face with a powder really helps, and you don’t ACTUALLY need to put the same amount of make-up and foundation over your whole face. so, for e.g., my nose doesn’t need as much coverage and its Super Oily, so i don’t apply as much product there compared to like my forehead or my cheeks (where my acne scarring is most prominent), which really helps. if you have a good foundation and powder that closely matches your skintone and your undertone, you can probably get away w this a lot easier. 
CHANGE YOUR MAKE-UP BRUSHES AND SPONGES OFTEN! like please. PLEASE. i know we all Love to build up and are Lazy As Hell but then maybe invest in some disposable sponges or something bc for the sake of hygiene. please.
USE SUNSCREEN. idc if youre lightskinned or darkskinned, USE SUNSCREEN. even if youre medium-dark skinned, youre not gonna be immune to skin cancer. harsh sunlight also makes your skintone uneven and usually makes my skin overproduce oil. i really like biore’s sunscream stuff bc it’s very light, there’s a non-scented option and it also doubles as a make-up base (they have a few so you gotta have a look through). 
FACE MASKS! i also struggle w The Depression and its really tough for me to maintain an immaculate skincare routine, so rather than investing in like 16 tubs of facemasks i have 1 tube of clay mask (mine is from origins bc i bought this a Long While Ago while i still had money, but any clay mask is good!) and then i bought a WHOLE BUNCH of sheet face masks from the face shop because ... you guessed it ... they’re parabens free! and super cheap! using a hot compress before the mask helps bc your pores open up! i usually make myself a nice mug of tea and switch my a/c on and then slap that facemask on and do some replies. but try and do a facemask at least once every two weeks. i use mine once a week to once every two weeks, depending on how bad my depression is. target the facemask you choose to the particular problems your skin has; mine are usually hydrating facemasks (bc hydration!!! and really hydrating your skin goes a LONG WAY wrt to oil control) but i also have a few firming and brightening ones bc my skin can feel a little dull sometimes. ALSO, clay masks get a Lot Of Shit so i’m gonna just tell you quickly -- YES, they do make your skin break out the first few times you use it, but over time, it will REALLY HELP trust me! your pores? minimised. your skin? clear and glowing. your oil? controlled. if your skin is super sensitive and does not react well to store-bought masks, feel free to make some of your own natural ones! i really love making a maduka honey mask -- if you add sugar to it, it becomes a mask that also doubles as a scrub. a natural yoghurt mask is also a BLESSING and adding some oats to it also makes it double as a scrub. you could use natural aloe or use tomatoes and throw some sugar in them. PLEASE DON’T USE COCONUT OIL AS A MASK IT WILL CLOG YOUR PORES!!! don’t use masks that hurt bc you peel them etc because i always find tht it makes my skin immediately produce way more oil than it needs to compensate or smth lmao so NO to charcoal masks and stuff like that.
try and use something different for day and night. super tough esp if youre (like me) super lazy to do shit but during the day, i usually use an aloe vera gel moisturiser and, at night, i use bio oil to hydrate, minimise pores and also help with acne scarring, and tea tree oil gel to target acne-prone areas on my face and help combat acne before it starts up. find something that works for you!!!
a lot of skincare is trial and error, trying to find what works for YOU personally might not be something that works for others; i rarely get cystic acne, for example, so my skincare routine doesn’t really target that and so some parts might not work as well for people who do have cystic acne (esp since i often hear that clay masks really fuck up ppl who have cystic acne which makes sense bc in the beginning clay masks make acne worse before it gets better). try some stuff out and see what works for you after a month or so of a trial period.
skincare takes time! i don’t mean in the obvious way like you need to take time out of your day to do stuff, but i mean, it takes TIME for the results to show. you’ll have to do stuff now bc it’ll pay off later. it’ll be rough when you’re trying new stuff in the beginning but it might work out for you over a longer period of time. don’t switch products and stuff TOO OFTEN bc it’ll screw up your skin more.
it’s okay if you miss things or don’t do your routine every single day or just Can’t. it’s okay. it’s just skin care, and skipping a day or two won’t really make A Huge Difference. you can continue tomorrow. 
i hope some of this helps? idk this is just what’s worked for me over the years but yeah. feel free 2 add comments as necessary. :*
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batsysims · 7 years
Text
100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS
I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!
1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit
2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!
3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/
4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol
5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg
6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire
7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees
8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em
9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 
10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 
11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything
12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??
13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao
14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa
15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop
16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0
17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help
18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop
20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e
21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind
22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods
23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever
24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm
26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie
27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu
28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS
29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely
30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!
31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch
32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum
33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories
34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud
35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss
36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can
37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING
38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao
39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!
40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such
41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah
42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo
43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal
44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc
45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol
46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline
47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that
48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh
49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa
50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well
51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho
52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die
53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF
54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em
55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh
56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are
57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea
58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?
59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult
60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah
61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!
62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy
63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh
64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist
65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS
66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho
67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss
68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh
69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later
70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep
72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth
73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??
74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah
75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh
76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love
77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious
78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!
79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god
80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!
81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!
82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar
83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it
84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye
85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess
86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry
87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store
88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!
90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet
91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom
92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc
93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years
94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,
95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry
96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!
97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho
98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk
99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with
100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom
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allyinthekeyofx · 7 years
Text
Dreamcatcher - Chapters 22&23
Prologue&chapter 1   Chapters 2&3   Chapters 4&5   Chapters 6&7
Chapters 8&9  Chapters 10&11   Chapters 12&13   Chapters 14&15
Chapters 16&17   Chapters 18&19   Chapters 20&21
here you go @scully-loves-ruthie​ @shalomksenia​ @thexfphile​ - sorry I didn’t post yesterday, work was crazy!
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
St Mary's Hospital. Cleveland Ohio. May 7th 11:01pm
Something was different.
Even as Mulder struggled to regain his senses he knew. For one thing he could hear voices, vague and distorted but voices nonetheless, surrounding him as they melded together; the words not yet discernible, they just buzzed irritatingly inside his head, constant, impossible to ignore.
He was aware of the heavy sheets that weighed down his aching body, starched clean sheets that in normal circumstances might have been comforting but that now seemed constricting. Binding even.
And, as he came further towards the surface, something else struck him.
The smell here was all wrong.
A strong scent of antiseptic and cleaning fluid.
An unmistakable scent.
The scent of medicines.
Of hospitals.
Absurdly pleased that he had been able to make the connection, Mulder attempted to open his eyes. But the heaviness persisted, dragging him down. Refusing to free him.
It wasn't time yet. He knew that.
So despite himself he began to drift once again, to block out the voices that seemed closer suddenly, more familiar as they whispered his name.
But the one voice that might have prompted him to throw off the chains that bound him in unconsciousness was Scully's.
And hers wasn't among them.
XXXX
He was unsure as to how much time had passed when the voices returned. But they seemed clearer; able to separate one from the other he could hear them clearly beside him.
"He's coming out of it."
It was enough to prompt him to ease his eyes open, surprised suddenly by the pain that accompanied the action. His whole head ached. From his jaw line to his crown the pain was all consuming, making the images before him swirl together in a blurring mass as he fought to hold on to consciousness. The effort became almost too much as his hands found their way to the stainless steel tubular bars that were attached to the side of the bed. Their use in the main was to prevent the patient from falling, but now Mulder curled his fingers around them as he pulled himself to the side, turning his head as a wave of nausea overtook him. The room tilted crazily, reminding him of long forgotten fairground rides from his childhood.
Back then it had been fun.
Nothing fun about it now though as the nausea gave way to painful retching, each action threatening to tear his already aching head apart with the violence of the spasms.
Under normal circumstances Mulder might have felt embarrassed by the fact that he was puking over the side of the bed like some kid who had over indulged in cheap vino, especially in front of his superior Agent, but right now it didn't even cross his mind.
Because right now he just wanted it to stop.
A hand on his shoulder, reassuringly solid.
"Take it easy Mulder it's okay."
And then that same voice, hardening with authority as he directed some unseen presence in the room.
"Get a Doctor in here right now."
Mulders released his grip on the bars, hand groping the air, trying to connect with Skinner, who for some reason seemed to be wavering back and forth in front of him. Eventually he gave up and dropped his head back on to the comforting softness of the pillow again, closing his eyes in an attempt to block out the pain.
His voice, when it came sounded strange even to him.
"Scully...where is she?" he managed shakily.
He didn't hear Skinner's answer. Barely even acknowledged the fact that the words had left his mouth before the room once more began to spin sickeningly, before the sounds around him were replaced with the buzzing as everything went dark again.
XXXX
The next time he awoke there were no voices. Just softly muted sounds that suggested to him that it was night.
He'd spent enough time in hospitals to know that the sounds never really ceased. They simply became quieter in deference to the hour as voices were lowered to hushed whispers and the only sounds to shatter the silence were those of patients crying out in the night or of the occasional whisper of soft-soled footsteps that passed by in the corridors outside.
Mulder kept his eyes closed, breathing evenly until he felt it was safe to attempt to open them again. When he did he felt dizzy, out of himself somehow, as though his head had been stuffed with cotton wool. But that was okay because it was at least preferable to the pain he had experienced earlier.
His hand ached and he gingerly brought it up so that it was in his field of vision, realising that the source of the ache belonged to a plastic IV tube that snaked in to the back of his hand and around his wrist to carry on upwards. He followed the tubing with his eyes until he discovered its source; a plastic bag of clear fluid that he guessed was probably a combination of saline and pain relief. Morphine maybe? That would certainly account for the heavy feeling he was experiencing.
He discovered that keeping his hand aloft was just too much effort and he allowed it to drop, catching the IV line as he did so. Pain flared briefly around the area and he groaned softly.
Before he had even finished, the voice reached him.
"Mulder?"
Almost simultaneously Skinner's face appeared beside him, concerned, relieved and so damn tired looking.
"How are you feeling?"
Mulder  swallowed heavily before answering, his throat uncomfortably scratchy.
"How do I look?"
"The truth?"
Skinner tipped his head on one side as he regarded the younger man beside him.
"You look like shit."
Mulder shrugged, wincing as he did so.
"Thanks"
His eyes narrowed as he allowed his gaze to scan his surroundings.
"Where's Scully?"
Skinner blinked, wishing he were able to buy himself a bit more time before answering. But Mulder had a right to know. He deserved to know. But that didn't make it any easier.
For the last few hours he had divided his time unevenly between his two agents, spending the majority of time at Mulders bedside, understanding the futility of remaining with Scully while she was in her present condition.
He also realised that no such rationale would prevent Mulder from going to her.
During the hours he had spent here Skinner had concocted and discarded a dozen different ways to break the news to Mulder in a way that might prevent him from leaving his bed immediately and heading off to find her. He also knew there was no easy answer, that whatever he said, Mulder would do just as he damn well pleased.
It was a pattern he had become accustomed to over the years.
So instead, he cleared his throat and decided on a direct approach.
"She's up in the ICU."
Before the words were fully out of his mouth he watched Mulder react in exactly the way he had known he would and he shot out a hand that connected solidly with Mulder's chest to prevent him from sitting up.
For a second, Mulder fought against him, but weakness and fatigue eventually won out as he allowed Skinner to push him backwards on to the pillows.
"Take it easy." Skinner advised.
But he knew Mulder was beyond that. He had that look in his eyes that reminded Skinner of a rabbit caught in the headlights, frantically seeking a means of escape, a way to get to her.
Slowly, he removed his hand as Mulder relaxed slightly beneath him.
"The ICU?"
"Yes."
"Why? She was fine.......she was injured but........"
His voice trailed off.
"What's wrong with her?" he demanded finally.
Skinner sighed.
"I wish I could tell you. The medical personnel here don't have the first clue. When she....when you...came back she wasn't breathing..."
"WHAT?!"
Mulder pushed himself up again and this time Skinner didn't try to restrain him despite the beads of sweat that formed on his agents' forehead.
"What do you mean? I’m telling you, she was fine. She spoke to me....."
Skinner shook his head.
"Mulder, whatever happened to you both, whatever you think you remember...there is no way she could have spoken to you, given the condition she’s in.....”
“Condition?  What are you talking about?”
Mulder struggled back into a semi-upright position, confusion all too evident on his face as he frowned at Skinner who cleared his throat uncomfortably, faltering suddenly, hating himself for having to be the one to deliver the news.
Seniority sucked sometimes.
“Skinner?.....what condition?”
"I’m sorry Mulder but the way she was when you...when she...came back was bad, really bad and..well, she is in a critical condition and not expected to live through the night."
He levelled him with his gaze, needing him to understand, that there was no denying the truth of the seriousness of the situation.
“She’s dying Mulder.”
XXXXX
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
St Mary's Hospital. Cleveland, Ohio May 8th 6:03am
Skinner frowned as he rounded the corridor that led to Scully's room. It had been a long night. Both the emotional and the physical costs had been enormous for them all.
Finally, just ten minutes ago he had managed to reach Margaret Scully on the telephone after trying to track her down for the better part of yesterday and last night.  She had been out of town and apparently not picking up her messages from wherever she was. Finally though, his cell phone had trilled and the FBI dispatcher had patched her through.
To break this kind of news to someone face to face was difficult enough. To have to do it long distance was practically impossible. But break the news he had, listening to the laboured breathing on the other end of the line as his words had finally sunk in; the sound of Scullys mother as she desperately attempted to hold on to her composure long enough for him to furnish her with the details.
He wished with all his heart that he could have downplayed the gravity of the situation in some way. That he could have offered her some thread of hope to cling to as she made the journey here.
But much as he wished it might be so, he knew that it would be wholly unfair of him.
Because even though Scully had surprised them all that night as she clung onto life tenaciously the signs were certainly not promising.
In fact, only an hour previously one of the ICU team had quietly pulled Skinner to one side and gravely informed him that it wouldn't be long. That whatever precarious hold she currently had on life was slipping away.
Slowly but surely Dana Scully was dying by degrees.
Kept alive by machinery until such a time as the medical personnel were directed to cease in their efforts to keep her alive. Without the equipment surrounding her she would die almost immediately. That had been spelled out plainly for Skinner as he attempted to find something, some crumb of hope that she might come out of this.
Not to mention the  fact, he was having a hard time reconciling that she was even there at all, much less attempt to furnish Margaret Scully with any kind of measured reasoning because while he couldn't deny what he had witnessed in Scully's motel room, he couldn’t begin to make sense of it, couldn't explain how she suddenly appeared before him.
He had been questioned at length by the medical personnel, unable to furnish them with the answers they needed and it had been patently obvious that they didn't believe him.
He couldn't blame them. He hardly believed it himself.
But he had seen it and no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, he knew what he had seen to be true.
In the blink of an eye, Scully had just been there.
Just like that, and truthfully, in the immediate aftermath of her return, Skinner hadn't had time to really question it, so intent had he been in bringing her back to them.
It had been maybe five minutes from the time he placed the call to the emergency services to the time they barrelled through the motel room door and swept him out the way.
Five minutes that had seemed like five years as he breathed for Scully. Five minutes that stretched into eternity. Five minutes of switching to autopilot as he performed chest compressions, muttering encouragement to her through clenched teeth. Five minutes in his life that he had no doubt would return to haunt him for years to come.
But his efforts had, in some small way at least, been rewarded.
The EMTs had spent almost an hour attempting to stabilize her before loading her into the depths of the ambulance along with an unconscious Mulder. They had been rewarded by the faintest, flickering pulse that fluttered feebly beneath their fingertips like a dying butterfly.
The tiniest spark of life.
Of hope.
Skinner had insisted on riding in the ambulance with them.
The harried EMTs hadn't argued. Time was of the essence and they hadn't wanted to waste any by engaging in fruitless discussion with this man. All of their energies were focused on Scully, on keeping her alive until they could get her to the hospital.
Twice they had almost lost her.
Twice they had brought her back.
And all the while, Mulder lay not two feet away from her, deeply unconscious and oblivious to the drama that was being played out beside him.
For that at least, Skinner was thankful.
Their job done, they had passed her over to the crash team in the ER department and departed silently.
Skinner hadn't even had time to thank them.
Since then, each hour that passed had seemed to merge and meld into the other. He had divided his time as best he could between staring numbly down at Scully as she lay, naked beneath a single sheet in the ICU, and sitting by Mulders bedside staring equally numbly as he wondered how the hell he was going to tell him about his partner's condition.
And of course Mulder had awoken and the second the realization had sunk in, he had done exactly as Skinner had expected him to.
Despite the combined protests of several medical staff, the younger man had heaved himself from his bed, ripping out the canular as he did so, ignoring the blood that dripped from his hand in a steady stream of red droplets, and demanded to be reunited with his clothes.
His doctor had been summoned to try to talk some sense into him and had been rewarded by the charming profile of Mulder's clenched jaw as he completely ignored him.
It was, Skinner noted, like trying to hold back the wind itself, because regardless of how it may endanger his own health, there was nothing, nothing on this earth that would keep Mulder from his partner.
Eventually they had all realized the futility of their efforts and with much shrugging of shoulders had left him alone with Skinner to sign the necessary disclaimers and get dressed.
He had followed Mulder to the ICU and been there to offer a steadying hand as Mulder caught the first glimpse of his partner.
Even Skinner had to admit that it was a shocking sight.
Scully lay there with what seemed like a hundred tubes attached to her body, unmoving, unresponsive. They hadn't even bothered to dim the lights around her bed, and the harsh glare had made her appear even paler than she actually was.
In fact, if Skinner were honest with himself, she looked like she was dead already; a corpse beneath that plain, blue cotton sheet, kept alive until someone came along and pulled the plug.
He had watched as Mulder sucked in his breath at the sight of her, stepped forward to offer his assistance as the younger man folded before him in a manner that suggested someone had just sucker punched him in the gut.
Mulder had angrily shrugged his hand away.
There was nothing he could say, nothing he could offer to make one iota of difference  as Mulder stumbled away from him and crossed the small space that separated him from his partner. Skinner watched silently as he extended a shaking hand towards her, his fingers gently brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen over her pallid face.
And time seemed to stand still.
Long moments passed that would become lost in his memory before Mulder finally lowered his body to the single chair that sat like a sentry beside the bed, long moments as he stood there watching the younger man slip his fingers beneath Scully's hand, wishing he could give him something, anything to ease his pain.
But Mulder was oblivious to everything, his every fibre was concentrated on the woman lying before him, and Skinner doubted he would have even heard any words of comfort he may have been able to muster. So he had simply turned on his heel and left them together.
But now he had returned only to find Mulder still in that same position. If he had moved at all, Skinner could see no evidence of it.
He felt strangely like an interloper, as on some level he always had where these two agents were concerned. Oftentimes he had caught himself wondering about the relationship they shared, wondering just how deep their commitment to each other actually went.
One thing he was certain of - they had ceased being merely professional people thrown together in the course of their work a long time ago. What they shared went so much deeper. It was as though each only existed as a part of the other.
And most times he envied them.
But not now.
Right now he thanked God that he wasn't in Mulders shoes.
"How is she?"
The question was redundant. He already knew what the answer would be.
But he needed something to draw Mulders attention away from her. He needed to look into his face. He needed to check how he was doing right now.
He immediately wished he hadn't. He wished he hadn't needed to affirm what he already suspected.
Mulders eyes, when they met his, were shockingly blank, vacant even. All the light that habitually shone from them was extinguished by the long hours he had sat here.
His voice when it finally came sounded flat. Lifeless.
"The same."
Skinner nodded.
"Her mother's on the way here."
Mulder glanced at Scully then closed his eyes briefly. Skinner would never have believed it possible unless he had actually witnessed it, but it seemed like Mulders face drained of even more colour. He hadn't shaved and the stubble was like a black rash against his skin.
As he watched him, Skinner immediately understood.
Guilt.
It was practically palpable.
"Mulder..."
He stopped, though, as Mulder once again turned tortured eyes toward him, locking gazes with his superior as he uttered a silent plea. And Skinner heard him. Even without words he heard him.
What am I going to tell her?
And for once in his life, Skinner just didn't know the answer. He doubted anyone did.
XXXX
Dreamcatcher. May 8th. Time unknown.
The first thing Scully saw when she opened her eyes was a face. A small, elfin face framed with a halo of dark hair.
It was peering down shyly at her, green eyes questioning even as the tiny, rosebud lips offered the most tremulous of smiles.
"I thought you weren't ever going to wake up."
She frowned as the child's words reached through the fog that had descended all around her.
There was something about the child that was familiar. That face, those lips. Somewhere in her memory she had seen her before.
But where?
Scully fought against the tiredness, willing herself into full wakefulness as she gradually became more aware of her surroundings.
She was lying on a mattress of fleece. So soft it almost seemed as though it were made of spun silk, cushioning her against the uneven surface of the ground beneath it. A similar, much thinner blanket covered her almost to her chin, and a sudden memory of another time danced fleetingly into her mind only to be gone seconds later.
Mulder.
He always covered her with blankets when she was sleeping.
She had lost count of the amount of times she had awoken with the soft warmth tucked around her. She wasn't sure exactly when it had started although it was possibly back in the days when she still had cancer and towards the end she had seemed to be permanently freezing.
At a time when Mulder was desperately trying not to disappear in to the ether of his own darkest fear, unable to put in to words his emotions, he had simply tried, in his slightly clumsy way, to take care of her.
But Mulder wasn't here.
He had been inexplicably replaced by this child.
A little girl who seemed almost ethereal in her beauty, a child Scully had seen somewhere before.
She closed her eyes, forcing her mind back.
Rich, ebony hair spread across a pillow of ivory silk...
And then it came to her.
A child locked inside herself in that sterile hospital room, a child who had whispered to Scully even as she had drifted towards her, making the barest contact before the girl’s Father had intervened.
Like a bolt of lightening the realization slammed into her brain, throwing off all vestiges of sleep as she opened her eyes, scrambling upright she grasped the child's arm.
To confirm to herself that she was real. That the child before her was really who she thought it to be.
"Gina?"
CONTINUED CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
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whattoputonyourface · 7 years
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“Actives”: Skincare Ingredients That Actually Do Stuff
As much as I like all this beauty stuff, I'm aware that most of it is marketing bullshit. With skincare, there's already a pretty good consensus on what works, and it's mostly stuff that's been around forever and is very unsexy from a marketing perspective. But capitalism is a bottomlessly hungry machine. Consumers crave constant innovation, which is how we end up with 500 dollar creams that are basically just cetaphil in prettier (unhygenic) jars. The vast majority of skincare products don't do even half of what they claim to, and effectiveness often has very little to do with price point. In order to get the most out of your skincare, you need to know what ingredients are actually proven, by peer reviewed research, to make a difference for your skin. Unfortunately, they're aren't that many of them, but at least that's more skincare products you can convince yourself not to buy.
Obviously, you don't need to use all of these. You don't need to use any of these. The built-in disclaimer of this blog is that all of this stuff is totally bullshit and you will get old and die regardless. But if you wanna look pretty in your coffin and make people at your funeral think you died tragically young instead of at a normal, boring age, I have some recommendations.
Retinol (aka Retin-A, Differin, tretinion, adapalene, retinoid)
Retinol is crazy. It's a form of Vitamin A and it does basically everything - slows the aging process, helps calm down acne, boosts collagen levels, fades scars (even stretch marks!), and lots of other things. Basically, retinol works by increasing the cell turnover of your skin. Unfortunately, when you start using a retinol, that means your face kind of just starts starts flaking off. Your skin gets dry and it can make everything look a lot worse before it looks better. You need to introduce it very, very slowly. I started with a low concentration applied twice a week and worked my way up, and my face still looked pretty gnarly for a month or two. I had a few people ask me if I'd gotten a chemical peel. But if you stick it out, moisturize heavily, and make sure to protect your skin from the sun (retinol can make you extra photosensitive, so it's best to use at night), the results are definitely worth it. Your skin WILL eventually adjust and stop falling off, I promise.
You can get some retinoids over-the-counter in small doses(The Ordinary is probably where they're available for the cheapest price), but usually it's something you need a prescription for. I get mine through Curology, and I can't recommend them enough. It's a 20 dollar a month service for an online dermatologist. They send you a custom formulated bottle every few months and they're on call 24/7 if you have any questions. Their prescriptions can include retinol as well as a lot of the other actives on this list. Mine has azaleic acid and clyndamycin in it. Considering I used to pay 100 dollars for ONE bottle of just retinol that would last me maybe a month or two, Curology is more than worth it. Use retinols in the evening, after you've washed your face and before you've put on anything else. Make sure your face is dry when applying the retinol. Don't exfoliate at the same time as using a retinol unless you know your skin can handle it - it's too harsh for most people.
EDIT: Since writing this post I've learned that retinol actually doesn't make you more photosensitive, but it does degrade in sunlight, so it's still best to use at night.
Vitamin C (aka L-ascorbic acid, sodium ascorbyl phosphate, ascorbyl palmitate, retinyl ascorbate, tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate, magnesium ascorbyl phosphate, ascorbyl glucoside)
Vitamin C is arguably the most basic bitch vitamin. So mainstream. For skin, it's a strong protective against photoaging (aka sunspots and wrinkles) and lightens already existing areas of hyperpigmentation. It works as an antioxidant ("oxidiziation" is basically the mechanism of skin aging, so anything antioxidant is gonna be great to put on your face. I sort of know how antioxidants work, but this wikipedia page explains it better if you're interested).
The annoying thing about Vitamin C is that it's a really sensitive ingredient. As an antioxidant, you really don't want to expose it to air if you can help it, and even if you don't, if it isn't formulated correctly, it can go bad quickly. That's why I like the Drunk Elephant C-Firma Day Serum - it comes in an airtight pump and the company claims it will last two years. It's insanely expensive, but it lasts a really long time because you only use one small pump per day. Paula's Choice and The Ordinary sell C serums for cheaper, but since they're in dropper bottles, they don't last as long. If you're in the market for a Vitamin C serum, look for one between 10-25% concentration. If you buy one and it starts to turn orange, that's how you know it's oxidized and no longer particularly useful (the Drunk Elephant one is orange from the get go due to the pumpkin in it, though). You use Vitamin C in the morning, after you've washed your face, directly on clean skin. You can exfoliate first if you do that in the morning, but make sure to put it on before anything else.
The Acids: Alpha Hydroxy Acid (aka lactic, glycolic, mandelic, azaleic, lots more) and Beta Hydroxy Acid (aka salicylic)
Alpha Hydroxy Acids (AHAs) and Beta Hydroxy Acids (BHAs) are used to exfoliate the skin. Remember when I said to throw out your St Ives? This is what you should be using to clear out your pores instead. Different skin tends to favor different acids, but generally speaking, BHAs work well for the oily, as BHAs are oil soluable, and AHAs work well for everyone else, as they're water soluable. Additionally, BHAs tend to be more effective for breakouts, because they actually get into the pores and clear them out, while AHAs are better at exfoliating and sloughing off dead cells on the surface of the skin (which means they help refine skin texture and lighten hyperpigmentation)
The most commonly used BHA is salicylic acid, and the best way to find out if your skin likes it is good old Stridex pads. Remember those? Turns out they actually do something.
There are a lot of different AHAs, and different skin tends to favor different chemicals. Lactic acid is usually considered the most gentle and a good starting point. The cheapest lactic acid formulations I've found are from The Ordinary. Are you sick of me talking about The Ordinary yet? Sorry, they're a goddamn miracle for poors like me. I use the 10% formulation. It smells awful but it works.
You want to be careful with AHAs and BHAs as they are irritating to the skin and can make things worse if overused. Introduce them slowly, maybe once a week at first, seeing how your skin will tolerate them, and increase from there until you're happy with your results. Some people have skin that LOVES acid, and they can exfoliate twice a day, while others might only be able to use an acid once or twice a week. AHAs can make you more sensitive to the sun, so they're best used at night, but you can use a BHA anytime. Just be sure to do it on clean skin, and for either AHA or BHA products, wait between 10 and 30 minutes depending on how patient you are before moving on to the next step in your skincare routine to let them do their work. These ingredients are ph dependent and need to sit on your skin for awhile by themselves, so it's best to use a product specifically made to exfoliate rather than a moisturizer or face wash that includes an AHA or BHA.
Niacinamide (aka vitamin B3, nicotinic acid)
Niacinamide is a goddamn miracle. I don't really know how it works. It just does (and peer reviewed studies suggest it does as well). Not only does it do a bunch of great anti aging stuff like firm the skin and encourage collagen production, it is REALLY effective at lightening hyperpigmentation, reducing irritation from breakouts, and most amazingly, it's the only thing I can think of that actually makes your pores look smaller. It's so good. Again, The Ordinary sells it for insanely cheap (like 6 bucks).
You don't want to use niacinamide and Vitamin C at the same time, because it'll cause your skin to flush. Some people say it makes both products ineffective, but the jury is still out on that one. I think if you use it a couple steps apart in a routine you're probably fine, but use your Vitamin C in the morning and your niacinamide at night if you want to be on the safe side. Niacinamide is one of the few ingredients listed here that's generally pretty stable and doesn't need quite as much protection from light and oxygen. You can use it at any point in your routine as long as you haven't put on anything super heavy and occlusive yet.
Humectants (aka hyaluronic acid, glycerine, butylene glycol, honey, fun stuff like snail slime, propolis, and chaga mushroom)
As I've said in a previous post, Humectants are just things that draw water into the skin. You need them in a moisturizer, but this is where your skincare can get less sciency and more fun, because a lot of weird things are humectants. A very hip Korean skincare ingredient is "snail mucin" aka snail slime. I've used some snail products and find them very soothing and calming - if you have sensitive skin you should give it a try. This gel cream from Mizon is sort of the OG cheap snail product. Really though, a lot of these buzzy plant and animal extracts that sound so exciting are really just moisturizers. Some of them might end up being proven to do other things, but at this point, there just isn't enough solid research to know for sure. They're PROBABLY not gonna do anything beyond hydrate, but your skin needs hydration, so if they sound fun and you think it'll make you more excited to take care of your skin to put some exotic botanical extract on it, go for it. Maybe they'll turn out to do other stuff, too, or maybe your skin will take a special liking to them.
You can use humectants at really any point in your skincare routine, but if you're going to use them earlier in a routine, make sure they don't have any occlusive ingredients, because those will form a barrier and keep the next steps in your routine from absorbing. For a mid-routine humectant dose, I like this hyaluronic acid toner.
Occlusives (aka oils, basically)
Your moisturizer also needs occlusive properties if you're putting it on as a final step in your skincare. These are what hold the humectants in and keep them from just evaporating out of your face. Occlusives are usually oils. Every few years the beauty industry gets super hyped on another ~miracle oil~: awhile ago it was jojoba, then it was argan, now it seems to be marula. They all work pretty much the same, although certain oils have other properties that are allegedly good for your skin in non-occlusive ways - sea buckthorn oil has a lot of antioxidants, and coconut oil is an antifungal, for example. This is cool, but you're not really going to see dramatic differences based on these properties. You really just have to try a couple out and see which ones feel the most comfortable on your skin and don't break you out. An oil is pretty much an oil. No need to overthink it if you don't want to.
A Note about packaging: It's fine if humectants and occlusives come in a jar instead of airtight packaging or a dropper bottle, because you aren't using them for their antioxidant properties. Pretty much everything else I listed here (with the possible exception of niacinamide) needs to be protected from light and oxygen as much as possible to remain effective. Airtight pumps in opaque or sun-protected packaging are best. Make sure if your product comes in a jar that you at LEAST wash your hands before sticking your fingers in it, or better yet, use a little spatula or spoon to get the product out.
"But what about (x ingredient)?"
There are a few other "skin actives" that allegedly do stuff that I didn't write about. There are a lot of ingestible antibiotics that work great for acne, for example, but they're mostly available by prescription and not something that's going to be marketed to you, so I skipped them. Some newer skin actives that are showing promise have really cool mechanisms of action: there's this awesome new peptide based on snake venom that supposedly encourages collagen production by mimicking broken collagen bonds, for example. Arbutin is supposed to be a really effective hyperpigmentation lightener. Caffeine has a temporary tightening effect that can make it good in eye cream. There are some fun herbal ingredients my skin seems to respond to well - ginseng and green tea, for example, but there's not really scientific evidence to back that up, they're more just fun for me to try out as a skincaretainment enthusiast. There's a slew of other stuff that shows some promise but hasn't been used long enough to be without a doubt skin-changing. The ones I covered here are the ones with the most research behind them and the longest history of effective use in skincare.
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sxdomy · 7 years
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1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me
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