#if the doctor cries i cry

[allonsyismydoctor]

i was about to fall asleep but then i remembered that ten and eleven met sarah jane once again before elizabeth sladen passed away and now fourteenth met wilf mott once again before bernard cribbins passed away and now i want to cry

#doctor who #david tennant #tenth doctor #matt smith #eleventh doctor #fourteenth doctor #sarah jane smith #sarah jane adventures #elizabeth sladen #wilfred mott #wilf mott #bernard cribbins #doctor who 60th anniversary #10th doctor #the tenth doctor #11th doctor #14th doctor #if the doctor cries i cry #doctor who makes me cry a lot #wild blue yonder #donna noble #donna noble i love you so much #doctor donna #hello me old soldier

[chronoarts]

Yeah so I just finished watching Doomsday. What am I gonna do without Rose Tyler wtf. I loved her so much???? I'm gonna cry???? What am I gonna do without her??? I can't live my life like this I'm actually gonna cry myself to sleep. Is life even worth living anymore. Rose Tyler you were my favorite companion and you always will be. I miss you so much, my love. (It's literally been five minutes)

#10th doctor #david tennant #billie piper #rose tyler #doctor who #nuwho #i love rose tyler #rose was the best companion #dw #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #tenth doctor #dr who #the doctor #i'm literally crying #i'm literally going insane #what if i cried #what if i just #what if i exploded

[camellcat]

CLARA!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god clara clara my clara oswin oswald THIS IS NOT FAIR YOU CANNOT MAKE ME GENUINELY BURST INTO TEARS YOU CANNOT HAVE THAT POWER OVER ME!!! I don't even know what's happening I can't hear anything they're saying oh my god CLARA HIS CLARA HE REMEMBERS HER FUCKKKKK

#HIS VOICE!!!! HIS SMILE!!!! EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM BLOODLY LIT UP AT HER GRAHHH!!!! #I have never cried over something quicker than that I don't think #rose makes me cry ugly and hard but clara. oh. oh that was startling quick #I heard her voice and I like instantly teared up #and then actually seeing her? oh I was a goner #I miss clara so much it's so upsetting #clara oswin oswald I love u I love u foreva #whouffaldi #twelveclara #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor who

[lastofgallifrey]

there are no words to describe how much i cherish this scene and this exchange specifically... donna's "i keep telling you i'm not [special]" and the doctor replying, "oh, but you are" in such a nonchalant way because it wasn't even meant to be a compliment or an opinion— to him it was just the truth!! plain and simple!!!!!! ten always told her she was special and brilliant even when donna barely had the courage to see herself as anything more do you understand!!!!!!

i'm so terribly fond of them like this is barely even scratching the surface of my ten&donna-induced insanity i could write a whole dissertation on how they were brought together exactly at a time when they needed each other the most

#ten would be dead in a ditch without her btw #mom i frew up #cried #crying #will cry some more soon #i'm going to eat my fist #i just projectile vomited all over this video #they are my everything #i'll never move on actually #i'm ill #the most doctorcompanion duo EVER #ten and donna #tenth doctor #10th doctor #donna noble #doctor who #david tennant #catherine tate

[hiddenmoonbeam]

love waiting for a phone appointment and the clock ticks past the set time....... 15 min now.... is her day busy and delayed, will she call in a sec or in half an hour instead? is she for some reason not calling at all but I didn’t get notified? has she forgotten? no idea and there's no way for me to call so I just have to wait.....

#it's a nurse checking in about the antidepressants #she's been lovely so far but i've felt anxious about it today for some reason #and now this #what....am i just supposed to go about my day until she calls??? sounds fake #i'll just be anxiously doing nothing while waiting #EDIT UPDATE: she was just late and also I almost cried at one point #not necessarily related to the depression but another personal Thing and even though what she said was broad and not something new really #I just.... a medical professional saying I'm far from the only one and I'll get there and just #ah yeah crying now #and i might not get another appointment with her :( fingers crossed tho that the doctor want her to check in instead of him #and fingers crossed even tighter that the psychologist won't just offer group therapy again I DON’T WANT THAT IT DIDN’T WORK LAST TIME

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

[damiemontclair]

Is it ridiculous to think maybe this whole hospital thing and related business has mildly traumatised me? Is it ridiculous that I want to write about it in excruciating detail, just get the experience out on paper, on my blog, somewhere? It feels dumb but I want to write fic about it. I think it'd fix me.

#Still haven't really properly cried tho I am kinda tearing up as I write this #I'm not having a good mental health time rn ngl #The callous way some of the docs treated me; the way their sole focus was on reproduction without a single care for the hormones... #The generally terrible way I deal with surgery/post-surgery #It wasn't. As bad? The last few times? #I think I've also made myself forget a lot from the first 2 times #3rd time was more traumatising. #This last one tho... I never stayed for more than a night at the hospital. I never want to stay at a hospital ever again. #I never want to have surgery again #I swear if I have to do that again I will have my panic attack before they even put me under #It was so painful this time and people weren't listening to me at all when I told them the iv wasn't sitting right anymore #Nurses and doctors kept dismissing my opinions and wishes and needs.... #It was like as a patient you're less than human. #My arm is still bruised from where they fucked up their blood draws... #I'm so tired but I can't seem to rest #I'm so full of emotions but I can't seem to let them go and *cry* #Its like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop #Pls ignore me amd my rambles I'm just. Not doing too hot rn. #damie talks

[mailmiocuoredipietratremaancora]

So… i just finished season 4 again and, even if I know how much 11 makes me happy, I’m so sad cause 10’s gone 😭

#david tennant you’ll be the death of me #i cried #the first time i didn’t cry #wilfred 😭 #doctor who #doctor who rewatch #tenth doctor #rose tyler #donna noble #eleventh doctor #david tennant #matt smith #russel t davies #steven moffat #mailmiocuoredipietratremaancora

[marrissacooper]

me every time I finish an episode of house md season 3

#house md #i feel like s1 and s2 balanced drama and comedy perfectly #and obviously s3 also has a lot of funny moments #but every episode leaves me contemplating the meaning of life #i'm still not over s3e12 #and i just watched the one where foreman kills the girl with an infection #like idk what it is with this season but even the episodes that are on the light side #like the one with the romani patient for example the stakes weren't super high but at the end when he refuses to take the internship #and says to foreman that they're all great doctors but they're alone...i almost cried #it's the way every medical case in s3 really has an impact on the characters in some way #and even the tritter storyline #if you compare it to vogler in s1 vogler was about criticism of the healthcare system #sure wilson standing up for house was cute but tritter was about the way house treats people #it gave depth to his relationship with wilson with cuddy and even with the team #anyway i'm getting carried away just know that i'm crying every night

[bo0zey]

when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro

#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes #i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses #i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything #it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever #i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless #everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad #i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards #but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like #ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything #it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but #she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible #we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway #it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without #sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks #i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18 #and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society #i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am #20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already #why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong #i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing #i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there #i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic #i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse #nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there #i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am #i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not #it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying #i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit #ramblings

[sharkdays]

i need to calm down

#havent cried in like months so ofc now is when my body decides to try #in the middle of class #im just so frustrated #im so mad at my doctors for lowering my adderall dose when iw as doing good on the 20 mg #i dont know if its the depression or what but i cant fucking focus im so overwhelmed #shark speaks #i hope i can go home and have a good cry and eat something yummy #i feel so behind and liek im scrambbling to catch up #and its only a few weeks in #and because of that all my other doubts and worries about the future are piling on #sorry mutuals if your reading this and followed me for horizons stuff #this is still my personal blog tho so i gotta vent somehwo

[the-mushroom-faerie]

good evening. I am going to cry for a lot of valid reasons but none of them current and most of them resolved :)

#mushroom cries a lot #like a lot a lot #there was a new nurse at my eye doctor and she didnt listen for shit #the office was renovated which like good for them it does look better but Change #then what i wanted for lunch was closed for reno but we got the second option which was still good #then i had a case of the overstimulated rage while trying to Get Stuff Done #then the groceries get here and they smell so strongly of weed we had to throw out half of it and also recirculate our air #then mum forgot the air was on and i got too cold #oh forgot that infusion almost didn't work bc my scar tissue was being rude #that was fun #but i am currently getting infusion so its fine #and i have to get up early tomorrow to go to a makers market that we would totally skip if we didnt need the money #so yeah crying is valid right now

[freakpit]

being in your 20’s sucks cause it’s like oh boohoo i have bills and pressure to make permanent life plans. guess i’ll get so stressed i want to kill myself about it

#op #i’m 22 i have no prospects no fucking degree #nothing to show for my fucking existence #alls i do is doordash for money and sit at home and cry about money #i have over $700 in medical bills from my infections and my doctor’s appointment that insurance decided not to cover for no reason #and i just. why am i pointless #i used to be smart and promising and want to do things with my future and now i’m just some #idiot ugly insufferable unemployed fuck who cries about everything and can’t sleep from stress #god. #AND ITS NOT EVEN AN ORIGINAL KIND OF MISERY #i can’t even claim to be unique for feeling this way!!! #so i won’t get any comfort for this other than. oh well Feeling Like That is Normal for your early 20’s #and i’m just expected to pick up and carry on and hope it gets better fucking. a decade from now #i don’t want it to be better a decade from now. i want it to be better now #whatever

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[luneariann]

(re: my bouts of lack of depth perception) nope its just totally random !!! i DON'T have depth perception problems otherwise, just enough vision impairment that i need to wear glasses. the bouts of no depth perception are odd because it's not like i can Tell when they start, yknow? it's just, there one moment and gone the next. it's totally fine and then i have to question whether i have enough space to park on the street bc it seems like a 5 ft gap from an angle (it was 20 ft actually)

HELLO??? Omg dude that sounds so stressful 😭😭😭

#have you gotten that checked out??? #i feel like tjats smt you should go see a doctor abt honestly 🧍🧍 #me personally id start crying if that happened to me and i was in a rush or smt #but then again ive cried cuz the car kept turning off for me so mby im just a crybaby when it comes to cars HAGDHA

[alren-ki]

I just did the catboxes, for the third week in a row, without having to force myself, without feeling like my body wants to collapse into parts, and the only reason I didn't do them yesterday was I didn't have cat litter.

Y'all I think what I'm doing is working, I'm getting my fucking body back.

#awled rens rambles #I- you genuinely have no idea how much #this time last year #I was ready to give up #I was in agonizing amounts of pain almost daily #I was doing the catboxes maybe twice a month feeling extremely guilty and helpless about not doing it more #I couldn't go grocery shoping without my pain spiking into the stratosphere- even on a good day #I was helpless and trapped and in pain and tired #all the time #I can't count the amount of times I went and cried on my porch to get some feeling of going outside #I couldn't get a doctor's appointment until *September* #and I felt the lowest I had since I was 16 and regularly having meltdowns that got pointed at myself #and now #I'm getting better #it's not everything #I still can't drive or really leave the house on my own #but it's so much more then it was #I'm gonna go cry for a bit now #I always expected to lose my body some day #I never expected to get it back