#i just projectile vomited all over this video | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ctitan98official · 3 months

Text

@idcjustletmescroll : Hey I had a story idea I thought you might find funny- do you think you could write something where y/n tries to get Cassandra to eat vegetables but she gets sassy and says something like "Fine fine, but only if you eat raw meat." So they do? btw if you need reference, raw pork has a slight lemon flavor but is overall plain (don't ask me why I know 😶)

Bruh please tell me you did not eat raw pork! Anyway, yes I do like this idea! Let’s get into it!

Cass: Okay, Y/N. Open up! Here comes the plane! *Makes airplane noises while trying to spoon broccoli into Y/N’s mouth*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table in a My Little Pony bib, crossing their arms, pouting* Babe! I don’t like vegetables! *Closes their mouth tightly*

Cass: *Annoyed, slams her hand on the table* Y/N! You are not leaving this table until you eat your broccoli!

Alcina: *Walking past, laughing* Ahh, reminds me of when you girls were newly created and wouldn’t eat your maidens.

Cass: *Rolls her eyes at Alcina* Y/N, I’m going to count to three. If you don’t eat that broccoli, there will be consequences!

Y/N: *Smirks* Like, “naughty” consequences?

Cass: *Huffs* No. Like, “I’m taking away your video game privileges for a week” consequences.

Y/N: *Bawling, leaning as far away from Cass as possible* No! If you like vegetables so much, why don’t you eat them! I’d rather eat anything else but vegetables!

Cass: *Growls in anger, thinks for a second, decides to teach them a lesson* So… you’d eat anything?

Y/N: Yeah!

Cass: *Smiles* Okay, Y/N. I’ll tell you what. If I eat some broccoli and prove it’s yummy, then you have to eat something I like. Seems fair to me. Do we have a deal, darling?

Y/N: *Curiosity is peaked* Wait, don’t you eat nothing but raw meat? Is that safe? I thought that people get sick if they eat meat that isn’t cooked.

Cass: *Trying to hold in laughter, has Y/N right where she wants them* Well… Raw meat doesn’t make me sick.

Y/N: *Thinking, but is very stupid* Hmm… I guess if you can do it, so can I! Bring it on, babe! I wanna see you eat that broccoli!

Cass: *Grins* Okay, here I go. *Eats the broccoli she was trying to feed Y/N* Mm, so yummy! Now it’s your turn, Y/N.

Y/N: *Laughing* Wow, you made that broccoli your bitch, babe! Okay, I’m ready!

Cass: *Swarms to the refrigerator to grab a plate of uncooked pork, swarms back* Here you are, Y/N. Eat up!

Y/N: Here goes nothing!

Not a minute later

Y/N: *Vomiting violently into a potted plant* Why?! Why me- Oh shit-! *Pukes some more*

Cass: *Laughing, rubbing Y/N’s back* What did we learn today, Y/N?

Y/N: *Giggling deliriously, wiping their face* Getting food poisoning is better than eating broccoli.

Cass: *Shocked* Wait, what?!

Y/N: *Pukes, finishes* Yeah… Now I get to watch Alcina bitch you out for making me sick and letting me puke on her prized fig tree. *Points behind Cass*

Cass: *Swallows nervously, turns around and sees a pissed off Alcina*

Alcina: *Crossing her arms and tapping her foot angrily* Cassandra. Why is your spouse vomiting all over my precious tree?!

Cass: Umm… Well, they wouldn’t eat their vegetables so I bet them that I would eat broccoli if they ate raw meat like I do…

Alcina: Oh! This is horrible! Fifi is going to be ruined now! *Sobs into her hands*

Cass: ??? I’m sorry, who?

Y/N: The tree, babe. She named the stupid tree Fifi.

Alcina: *Glares at Y/N* Not another word out of you, murderer!

Y/N: *Terrified, throws up on Fifi some more*

Alcina: *Crying her eyes out*

Y/N: *Vomiting gets more intense*

Alcina and Y/N: *Increasingly getting louder*

Y/N: I’m gonna die!

Cass: See, normally, hearing that would cheer me up, but this is just stupid.

Alcina: Fifi! I’ll avenge you! *Grabs Y/N and shakes them roughly*

Y/N: *Projectile vomits on Alcina*

Cass: *Rolls her eyes* That’s it for me, gang. *Walks off and leaves Y/N and Alcina to their foolishness*

Masterlist

#re8 #re8 village #cassandra dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x y/n #re8 incorrect quotes #re8 shitpost #y/n is stupid #resident evil 8 #resident evil village

13 notes · View notes

bethanythebogwitch · 9 months

Text

England is a notoriously wet place so it’s only fitting that Galar went hard on aquatic Pokémon. Welcome back to my series where I cover the real-life inspirations for all non-fish aquatic Pokémon. Today I’m going over generation VIII. For previous generations, see gen I part 1, gen I part 2, gen II, gen III, gen IV, gen V, gen VI, and gen VII. For my previous series where I covered the origins of all fish Pokémon see here. Starters and legendary/mythical Pokémon will be covered in their own series.

We start with Chewtle and I have to ask; what the hell were they thinking when they approved its design? I get it’s probably supposed to be a bit ugly, but it’s so bad it almost ruins the whole line even though Drednaw is awesome. The line are based on snapping turtles. Snapping turtles are members of the family Chelydra and are native to the Americas (though fossils show they were once more widespread) and are predators who use their extremely powerful jaws to bite prey in half. They are also extremely aggressive and can hurt humans with their power bites, especially since they can all get very large by turtle standards. There are two genera of snapping turtles and Chewtle is based on the smaller common snapping turtles.

(image: a grumpy old man common snapping turtle)

Drednaw is based on the larger and much scarier alligator snapping turtle. If you’ve never seen one you can’t really understand how huge and powerful they are.

(image: an alligator snapping turtle being held by a person. This isn't even as big as they get)

Like actual snapping turtles, Drednaw has a long and flexible neck that is usually retracted in its shell. Its jaws can bend metal, which is true of some real life (mostly sea) turtles. You may be wondering why an American species of turtle is in England, but that’s because it also drawn inspiration from England’s naval history. Its name and some elements of its gigantamax design come from the dreadnought, a class of warships first invented in England that majorly influenced naval warfare from then on. Its horn looks like a bowsprit and the underside of its shell (called a plastron) has a boat keel on it. Gigantamax Drednaw being a massive, bipedal turtle probably draws from Gamera, a kaiju created as a competitor to the Godzilla movies.

(image: Gamera as depicted in the Heisei-era movies)

I just can’t get over how well designed Drednaw is when Chewtle and gigantamax Drednaw look like absolute dogshit. How the hell did that happen?

More seabirds is a welcome addition to Pokémon and Cramorant is… well they tried. As the name suggests, it’s a cormorant. Cramorant’s pose looks a lot like the pose cormorants take when they dry themselves on rocks. Cormorants feed on fish and swallow their prey whole, much like how Cramorant hunts Arrokuda. Cramorant is likely based on the two species found in the British Isles: the black cormorant and the common shag (why do we let British people name things?). Cormorants are occasionally trained to catch prey and bring it back to their trainers instead of eating it, which likely inspired Croamorant bringing fish with it thanks to its ability. It spitting caught prey at enemies as a form of defense likely comes from defensive vomiting, a strategy employed by entirely too many seabirds where they projectile vomit at potential predators. To their credit, if my sandwich spewed half-digested fish and stomach acid at me, I probably wouldn’t eat it.

(image: a cormorant sunning itself)

I have wanted another take on octopi Pokémon since gen II and Clobbopus and Grapploct are not what I wanted. Cool idea, I just don’t like the design. They’re just octopi combined with martial artists. Clobbopus is a boxer and may have been inspired by videos of octopi smacking fish. Glapploct is, as its category name states, a practitioner of jiu-jitsu, but also with some lucha libre inspirations. There’s really nothing more to them than that. Well there is the sport (read: recreational animal abuse) of octopus wrestling where divers would grab octopi and drag them to the surface, which was popular in the 1960s. I have no idea why they aren’t part water type other than maybe the devs didn’t want another water/fighting type in the same gen as water Urshifu.

(gif: an octopus punching a fish)

Joining Clobbopus in the “why isn’t this water?” gang, we have Pincurchin. I did my undergrad thesis on sea urchins so I have a soft spot for them. Pincurchin seems to be a generic sea urchin rather than any specific species. Its 5 hard teeth are a reference to the mouthparts of urchins, where each of their 5 radial body segments has a single “tooth”. They are arranged in a circular mouth that scrapes algae off of rocks.

(image: a sea urchin's mouth)

Many species of urchins have venomous spines that can break off inside of another animal and continue to inject venom. Pincurchin’s spines do the same thin, but instead of venom, they release electricity.

Eiscue is just a penguin. With an ice cube on its head. I don’t know what more you want from me.

The Arcto- fossils are a bit hard to pin down since we only have the rear half of the animal. The Galar fossils in general are based on inaccurate fossil reconstructions found often in early paleontology. During the bone wars, where paleontologists were in a race to discover new species, many unscrupulous scientists would stick together fossils from unrelated animals and call them new species. The Arctos seem to be based on some kind of marine reptile like a plesiosaur or ichthyosaur. We now know that a lot of these marine species were blubbery (which is likely why the Arcto half is so thick and even seems to have fur) and had small tail flukes just like the Pokémon. The Galar fossils in general are pretty up to date on their paleontology despite being based on outdated reconstructions.

(image: a modern reconstruction of a plesiosaur showing its fatty body and tail fluke. Source)

Next time I'll finish this series with the Paldea region. After that I'll go over the starters and the mythicals/legendaries.

9 notes · View notes

0kayblue · 2 years

Text

Thank God for Steve Harrington

Movie nights are fun, who said going to get the movie couldn’t be just as entertaining.

Main character relations: Steve Harrington x reader

A/N at the end :)

“I am just saying that The Exorcist might be a little over the top.” You said as you pulled into the parking spot in front of the local Family Video.

“Over the top? I think you’re just saying that because it scared you.” Max defended one of her favorite movies with agitation, “Even though you don’t believe in all that stuff.” She egged you on with a sly smirk.

“Who said I was scared of a little girl? Besides, haven’t we seen it a dozen time.” She was right. It did scare you regardless of how stupid you felt for being scared of something that wasn’t real. But, she picked The Exorcist last time you forced her into a movie night. How many times could she watch a possessed girl projectile vomit and fight the ‘holy word of God’?

“What’s a dozen and one more? Besides, you are the one that said it was my choice while it was on you.” You rolled your eyes, she really knew how to work the system. If it wasn’t for the look on her face whenever she saw you on her doorstep you would’ve dropped her and her attitude awhile back.

When Max and her mom moved into the trailer park shortly after the passing of her brother you couldn’t help yourself from wandering over there every now and then to see if they needed any neighborly help that had a hidden layer of curiosity. You didn’t buy that mall fire story as soon as you heard it. You dropped little questions here and there for awhile but they were always very vaguely answered and you were just about to give up and just leave her alone, but Susan pulled you aside one day and told you that she thought an outsiders presence was good for Max. Susan mentioned that she was concerned that Max felt some guilt over the passing of Billy and had been not only distancing herself from her, but her friends as well. So, you did what you told yourself you wouldn’t do and got attached to the twerp.

The feeling was mutual though. Susan was right, being with someone who wasn’t involved with Starcourt was helpful. It sort of relieved her in a weird way, and it helped that you both had similar tastes. Similar likes and dislikes, despite the fact that you were currently bickering over a scary movie, “Rock, paper, scissors for it?”

“What are you, five?” Max couldn’t help but scoff at the idea. Was that full time job rotting your brain?

“Shut up. Best two out of three.” You definitely snapped at her while you put a fist on top of your palm. Max rolled her eyes before she met your gaze with a determined stare. “That is quite the stare down, Maxine.” You chuckled as you started the game.

Scissors beats paper. You win.

Paper beats rock. Max wins.

Max’s heart set on winning as she’s ready to throw in her winning hand when a familiar head of hair stood at the entrance of Family Video. She throws out scissors while you throw rock. You win. A victorious smile finds your face while she falls back into the passenger seat hoping Steve Harrington didn’t just catch her in a lie. “Oh come on, Max. Don’t be a sore loser.” You said as you went to get out of the car.

“I’m going to stay here. Pick whatever you want.” The tone of her voice lowered as she sunk into the passenger seat. Steve wasn’t supposed to be working. She told Steve she was sick and that’s why she couldn’t hang out with Dustin, Mike, him, Robin, and most importantly Lucas. Wanting to escape the questioning as to why she had broken up with Lucas. She didn’t want to see Lucas. She didn’t want to feel any worse than what she already did. She just wanted to watch movies with someone she didn’t have a traumatic connection to and not worry about the past. Just for a little while.

You raised an eyebrow as your gaze followed hers, “Is this about Harrington? You don’t have a crush on him do you?” You jokingly questioned her, trying to lighten her mood. Get that train back on to that less serious track.

“What? No.” While your eyes stayed trained on Steve and the beautiful girl he was obviously trying to flirt with. “He just was at the mall fire, y’know, and he has this mother hen complex that causes him to ask questions and I really don’t want to talk to him. I mean-.” You drowned out Max as you saw Steve let out a frustrated sigh before running his hand through his hair.

“Hey, look, he struck out.” You laughed, elbowing Max.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard you. So Steve’s a mother hen, huh?” You started as you looked back at Max, “Didn’t get that from him when we were in high school, but then again people change. Traumatic events can change people.” You had no idea, Max thought. Granted Max didn’t know much about your life before you both met, the only thing she knew was that you lived in the trailer park before she moved there.

As Steve walked back inside the family video he pouted while he approached the front counter. He thought that she might have been something more than a fling, but unfortunately she was already taken. It was starting to seem like all the good ones were in his case. Leaning on the counter he complained, “I don’t get it. The mojo is back, why am I struggling so much?”

“Mojo? Seriously, Steve.” Robin gave an annoyed stare with a mischievous smile. Two very contradictory expressions that could’ve confused Steve if he didn’t know Robin as well as he did.

“Yeah, mojo.” He defended before joking at her expense, “The thing I have and you don’t.” Robin playfully winced, before chuckling. “What do I have to do?”

“Well, I’m just spitballing here, but maybe if you tried to expand your taste.”

“Expand my taste? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying,” Robin started softly trying to keep Steve from going on the defense, “You have a very obvious type,- high school head of the totem pole backhanded compliments Sally’s- not that there's anything wrong with that, and I am sure they are not all like that; but maybe if you tried someone a little different you might find what you are looking for.”

“Yeah, well, I tried that once and now I’m her best friend.” Robin rolled her eyes at the remark, “I am just saying, didn’t really work out.”

“Doesn’t mean it won’t work all the time. I can’t believe a little old rejection from me burned you so bad.”

“I wasn’t burned.” Steve defended. He handled Robin coming out well and completely and wholly accepted her for who she was, but that didn’t change that he still started to feel something for Robin. Obviously, those feelings no longer remained for her, and if you were to ask Steve about it he’d jokingly say ‘he dodged a bullet’.

“I bet you five bucks.”

“What?” Steve questioned standing up straight.

“I bet you five bucks that you can’t get the number of the next girl- who isn’t your usual type- number.”

“Are you serious?” Steve raised a skeptical eyebrow at Robin’s superficial challenge, “I don’t do bets and haven’t done them in a long time.” Steve recalled his King Steve days and how often he would do stupid stuff to make his supposed friends laugh or see him in a ‘cooler’ light. Sometimes he can still see the looks on peoples faces whenever he did something cruel and it hurt. If he could go back and tell him to listen to that damn voice reeling him no, he would.

“So you don’t think you can do it?”

“I didn’t say that. I just think that it’s a shallow thing to do and I don’t want to-.” The light and airy doorbell rang, cutting him off and causing both of them to look at the door and as you walked into Family Video they stared you down.

“Hi?” You started as you awkwardly waved your hand; you didn’t know either of them personally so you had no idea why they were staring you down like they were trying to figure out who you were. Your eyes went from Robin’s blank stare to Steve’s intrigued wonderment one.

You couldn’t place it and you felt like an idiot as your stomach filled with butterflies. Out of all the years you have known of Steve Harrington this is the first time you ever looked each other in the eyes. It didn’t last long though as you broke eye contact and scurried over to the horror section.

“You’re on.” Steve said before following you. Now he wasn’t entirely confident that he could pull it off, but he needed a reason to get away from Robin and on your mind. But you were definitely not like the last few girls that wandered in here so it counted, at least he believed it should. Something about you was just different. A good type of different, a welcome difference that made him feel at ease. It was only a glance but oddly enough it was enough to make him feel something more.

You glanced at what they had left which was a lot more than you thought they’d have considering it was a Friday night. You don’t have much time to linger on it though because you told Max you’d be in and out. No questions, no comments, just grab and go. You picked up Christine, The Exorcist, and the third and final option was between Sleepaway Camp and The Evil Dead. The world really was your oyster as you bit your lip. You snickered lightly at the cheesy thought.

“You look like you know what you’re doing.” Steve’s voice made you slightly jump. “Sorry, sorry. The movies are supposed to scare you, not me.” He smiled warmly, “What do you have already?”

“Uh, um, Christine and The Exorcist.”

“Nice choices. Scary, you’re going to need someone to watch those with for sure.” You laugh and quizzically raise an eyebrow. You highly doubted that Steve had seen either of these movies. You were right, but that didn’t stop Steve from trying to play it off like he knew what he was talking about. He reached for the movies you were holding to your chest and rested his fingers on the spines of the cases, “Y’know I clock out soon and I would lovingly enjoy keeping you company while we watch these.” He played it off cool as his eyes met yours and if he would’ve kept his mouth shut he might’ve had you falling over yourself. You couldn’t stiffen your laugh as your hand found your face and you took a slight step back.

“Are you flirting with me, Harrington? Oh this is rich.” You said, Steve’s ego being a little scorned. Yeah, he was flirting, but how could he not? You had this mystic fog clouded around you mixed with the fact that you were a pretty thing to look at. He didn’t find it odd that he took interest in you so fast, but to you Hawkins might as well have been upside down. “I’ll be alright, don’t worry that perfectly hair sprayed helmet of yours over little old me.” You looked back to movies thinking that would be that and momentarily pressed play on the argument in your head over which movie would best fit for the night.

“Have we met?” He asked, a little taken aback by the fact that you knew his last name. Your face flushed as you looked straight ahead hoping he wasn’t looking at you. He was as he tried to put the pieces together, but that was beside the point.

“Not officially, I don't think. We graduated together, but that feels like forever ago so don’t worry about it.” You were a little irritated, but you did do just about anything to avoid Steve and his group of jerks. Not to mention popularity wasn’t your thing so the groups you both hung around were completely different. Your body temperature cooling you faced Steve, “Now, I have one more movie to pick and if you would please-.”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Steve’s eyes lit up as he snapped, “Yeah, I remember you and I had art together and you painted one of the best portraits in the class. In my opinion the best, but y’know.” He chuckled slightly before his eyes met yours. Your eyes were slightly widened with surprise and intrigue. Like you were lit with this sense of innocence while you were balancing on the edge of your seat to hear what he had to say next. It caused Steve’s stomach to flip and his cheeks to grow hot, “Do you still paint? I’m sure you do, I mean you were so good at it. I would hate to think that you gave up on that talent. I can’t draw- let alone paint- but I’m sure you know that. I mean, you saw my portrait you were- it was so bad- you were probably like ‘how is this jerk going to pass this class’ and I didn’t. I failed, had to retake it. Yeah, Mrs. Sears was tired of me by the end of it all let me tell you-.” Steve stopped himself from nervously babbling, a habit he thought he had broken himself of. “You know what, never mind. You- You still paint?” He stuttered out, forcing himself to shut up. You giggled slightly, dodging the question as Steve nearly melted.

“I didn’t think you’d be the babbling type.”

“I’m usually not.” Steve let out an awkward chuckle as he ran a hand through his hair, “Is it hot in here?”

“Yeah, I think your A/C might be broken.” You rolled your eyes playfully, “I think you should go check it out.” You tried to push him away so you could get back to the task at hand and push away that feeling Steve gave you when he not only remembered you, but complimented you. Max was still out in the car and her temper was short. Regardless of how cute this little interaction was, you knew the sound of your car horn was only minutes away.

“I’ll have Robin do it. You’ve been staring at the movie for a while now, let me help.”

“I don’t think this is your particular department, Harrington. I’ll make my-.”

“Steve.” He cut you off as you raised an eyebrow, “Call me Steve. My friends call me Steve, sometimes S.” No one called him that. “Stevie, if we’re dating.” His face turned bright red as he tried to convince himself that he could save this. “Anyway, your eyes have been pretty focused on Sleepaway Camp. It’s different.” He said as he picked it up and held it in front of him.

“Really?” You inquired looking him up and down. You’ve seen it already, but it has been a minute. You might as well see what he’s got.

“Yeah, so these kids go away to a summer camp and it starts itself off as like a normal slasher, but it is not. It takes a weird turn, but the last scene is eerie and will have you holding tightly to your boyfriend.” Steve explained the movie in an even briefer synopsis than what Dustin gave him and managed to ask the big boyfriend question without asking it. He was back on track.

“Boyfriend? Yeah, right I’m watching these with-.” You quickly stop yourself from saying Max. “My cousin.”

“Your cousin?” He didn’t believe you for a second.

“Yeah, my cousin. She, uh, well we have similar tastes when it comes to media. It’s something we bond over, I think it’s her way of escaping. She’s been through it- and at such a young age- but what am I telling you this for? You know what-.” You almost said her name again and it was your turn to babble, “You know what, I’ll take it.” You took the film from Steve, “Thanks.” Your cheeks turned pink as your eyes met him again.

“You’re welcome. Any time.”

“Are all Family Video employees as nice as you are?”

“Not yet, Robin still bites.” You both laughed, that palpable electricity between the two of you hitting its peak. “You know if your cousin can’t handle that my offer still stands.”

“My cousin?” You very stupidly asked caught up in his gentle stare.

“Yeah, didn’t you say-.”

“Right. Right, sorry. She’s a lot like a sister so-.” Saved by the car horn. You made a note to thank Max, “I’ve gotta go.” You turned away from him and headed towards the counter. Robin wore a triumphant smile as a whopping five dollar jackpot was about to be hers. “I don’t have my card on me, can you look me up?”

“Yeah, what’s the phone number?” Robin asked you as Steve stopped right beside you. A little bit of her felt sorry for him after overhearing the chemistry working its magic over there; but the rest of her felt competitively indifferent about the subject. You went to spout out a phone number when the horn cut you off again.

An aggravated sigh left your lips, “317-389-8510, it’s my grandma’s account under Bonnie (Y/L/N).”

“I take it the horn is for you.” Steve said as he tried to figure out what car it was coming from.

“Unfortunately, the little turd has an attitude problem.” Robin let out a little chuckle as she got everything together and put it in a bag. She held it out to you and before you could take it she quickly yanked it back.

“Oh, and I wouldn’t ask if my manager wasn’t making me, but how was your tip to Family Video?” Robin asked you, trying to buy Steve some time. He picked up on it, but unfortunately you beat him to the punch.

“Thank God for Steve Harrington.” You glanced softly at him as you said it before taking the movies and quickly walking out the door as the horn was honked again. Steve came after you as you climbed into the driver's seat, “Jesus, Max.”

“We agreed, in and out.” She said, settling into the passenger seat.

“Yeah, well that friend of yours is quite the talker.” You started and put the car in reverse as Steve came out the door.

“Shit!” Max exclaimed as she quickly tried to hide her face.

“Max?” Steve called out, as you got out of your spot and out of the Family Video parking lot. Max was the cousin/sister that stood between him and a date he was hopeful wouldn’t disappoint.

“I should’ve known better than to send you in when he was there. He flirts with any pretty thing that walks in there.” Max tried to relax as she fumbled through the movies and noticed the snackless bottom of the bag, “No snacks?”

“You think I’m pretty?” You laughed as you gave her a side eye, “I was kind of rushed out of there. We’ll stop by the corner store.”

As Steve went back inside Family Video he huffed and puffed his way to the counter. Griping about Max as he picked up the phone.

“I’m assuming because she was so rushed and your nervous stammering you didn’t get her number, so I’m willing to only take three of your five dollars-. What are you doing?” Robin’s once chiding tone simmered into a confused one.

“Making a call, keeping my money, and getting that date.”

“Date? We only put a wager on a phone number.”

“I am well aware of that, Robin.” Agitation simmered off of Steve while he dialed one of the only numbers he bothered to memorize. This was new and something Robin hadn’t seen out of Steve when it came to a girl. As the phone rang Steve debated on what he was going to say whenever Dustin decided to answer the goddamn phone.

A/N: Me again! I know I was gone for so long lol. I usually never put something out this fast, but this cute little idea entered my head and just like the last thing I wrote: I HAD TO GET IT OUT. Especially before Vol. 2 because I have a terrible feeling things are going to go south fast and I live off of angst 🤷🏼‍♀️ Also it has been such a long time since I wrote anything for just Steve

49 notes · View notes

licncourt · 2 years

Note

Considering Armand used to make a bunch of videos of himself doing random things, do you think he would make vlogs today? Any thoughts on this or on any other vampires vlogging?

I think Armand would be a technology fiend and extremely competent with all the latest gadgets and trends, so vlogging definitely would be in the realm of possibility. More so than that though, I imagine him making lots of fake-deep art films with vintage filters that he records and edits on an iPhone 13. He thinks he's Andy Warhol à la Eating a Hamburger (1982).

I also think he'd do unintentionally (or intentionally) creepy shit to make these films like record kids on the playground or people changing through their window and probably get the cops called on him regularly. Other subjects of his "movies":

Randos through a restaurant window

A montage of dogs peeing on things (it's social commentary)

One still shot of a beer can on the side of the road

Daniel drinking coffee and then projectile vomiting it up

Mojo's daily activities with a sepia filter

Loustat having sex

His own murders (for legal reasons this is all SFX)

A toad

Himself cutting his hair into different styles each evening

Marius with Wii music over top

As far as actual vlogging, that strikes me as a Lestat activity. He probably doesn't have the patience for long-form vlogs, but I think he'd be perfect for TikTok.

At first everyone was really glad he found something to keep him occupied, but now anyone in his vicinity lives in fear of his phone camera except Louis. He used to fear it, but now he's just a broken man, worn down by months of prank trends and waking up to a flash two inches from his eyeballs. Lestat is on "dates with my crazy hot husband" pt 47 with no end in sight.

#answered #vc

41 notes · View notes

st8rrywrites · 8 months

Text

SEVENTEEN - CHAPTER ONE

FEMALE OC - SKYLAR SLADE

BLURB: What lingers in the darkness should be left alone. Especially when its least expected. Being seventeen never had its perks and this was one reason why. What do you do when you feel like someone is coming after you and all you can do is plague those thoughts alone?

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, depressive episode mentions, mentions of severe anxiety.

WORD COUNT: 3,245 words

CHAPTER ONE:

Imagine never changing throughout your whole existence. Yeah, well this is how Skylar felt. Mind you she was only seventeen on the cusp of eighteen but she felt like surely life would change maybe even for the better. Sure she had her doubts but she thought that maybe she could have something gratifying happen to her just once.

Skylar doesn’t really remember anything from her childhood unless its shown to her through stacks of pictures and videos. I think that’s down to the point that she drove everything good in her life so far into the back of her mind that all she can think of when someone speak so dearly of their childhood is all the things that went wrong for her as a kid.

Her mind works in mysterious ways, as a kid she always thought everyone’s minds worked identically, however, this was not the case. When Skylar was around the age of nine, it was lunch at school and she was trying her hardest to include herself in her friends conversation whilst they were all sat round the hall eating their packed lunches. What she said next caused a lingering silence over the whole group for the rest of lunch, and in fact the rest of the day until school was over. Skylar wasn’t even fully concentrating on what they were talking about, probably something about boys or something along those lines.

“Do you guys ever wonder what those little voices in the back of your head are doing?”.

Silence. Pure silence loitered for a whole two minutes as Skylar’s mind was racing with thoughts. To say she was floored was an understatement. Just as she was about to make a quick exit after realizing she had just practically shook the souls out of her friends, one of them spoke up looking like she was about just laugh right in her face and send her on her way.

“Oh my god Skylar, I never knew you had any humor in you.”

Pausing, for maybe longer than it felt, Skylar just played along with it because surely that was the best thing she could do in this situation. She’d tried so hard to not make a fool of herself for the five years she’s spent at this torturous place already and she couldn’t deal with it if the teasing started over something she believed was deemed normal for everyone her age. This wasn’t the first memory Skylar could place of her childhood but it was definitely up there as one of the most embarrassing ones to this day.

Shortly after that incident at school, the thoughts of that day just wouldn’t stop intruding her mind in any irritating way it could possible so she decided to ask her parents what they thought about it. Best to say they didn’t take it calmly. At all.

The week after she had the conversation with her parents, she was sitting in a room that looked like it had projectile vomited warning signs in every direction you looked. At nine, most people envision playing on the streets with their friends until their parents call for them to have tea, this wasn’t the case for Skylar. Instead of enjoying her time doing things most kids were doing, she was sat trembling in fear at where she was and why her parents had sent her here. Her thoughts were racing and it felt like one more thought and her brain would quite literally explode like she could imagine one more thought squeezing into her brain and BANG! The several nerves, blood vessels and chunks of her brain cling to the walls like a fresh, new coat of paint. But that didn’t happen. Instead, her thoughts were closed off when a shadow towered over her, a massive grin etched from both corners of her mouth and if she didn’t think clearly she thought that this strange woman could of gobbled her up whole.

“Skylar Slade?” the woman questioned.

Sheepishly looking upwards a slight, a hushed “yes?” slipped from her mouth.

“Brilliant! Come this way!” the woman enthusiastically replied.

Trudging through the dim halls, Skylar found herself be lead to a room at the back of the hallway. Making herself as comfortable as she could (although it looked anything but that from anyone else’s point of view) on one of the chairs inside the room, the young lady sat down parallel to a very confused, and agitated Skylar. The silence just grew louder as Skylar thought her ears might burst from the ringing that was starting to slowly grow louder at the anticipation of what this stranger was about to say.

“Hello Skylar, I’m Susane and I’m going to be your therapist for however long you need me to be.”

As soon as Skylar knew what was actually going on, she barely had time to form a coherent sentence before Susane spoke up again.

“So today, I thought we would just start at a slow pace and get to know each other better!” she shared as she looked intently into Skylar’s eyes awaiting an answer.

Still in a daze, Skylar meekly nodded as if to agree to what this woman was saying but also being very unsure of the whole situation still. And that’s how every Wednesday for the next few months went. As a kid she just thought that it was her parents concern for her but as Skylar grew up she came to the realization that they were in fact scared of their own daughter.

Now being seventeen on the cusp of eighteen brings so many opportunities and experiences, for everyone except Skylar. She barely went outside let alone hang out with her friends. Not that she didn’t want to, she desperately wanted to go out and do things but there was just barriers holding her back and she didn’t know if she could ever cross them. Yes she had her whole life ahead of her but she genuinely couldn’t shake the feeling that life was going to drag on like how her life had been for the past seventeen years until death gets ahold of her and her life ends like everyone else’s does. From Skylar’s beliefs it didn’t make a difference if she went out or not. She’d always felt invisible, and terribly alone. Even if she had loving family and friends it didn’t make a difference because everyone she knew felt like the same person to her. Either fuck up her life or simply exist beside her. There was no other option in her eyes.

Back in year eleven, Skylar had to do a group project that would end up going towards her final grade. It felt like the teacher was trying to laugh right in her face purposefully when she told the whole class what the topic of the project was. Emotions. ‘Well at least I might get a good grade out of this’ is what she was thinking. The next sentence the teacher said was what sent full on shivers down her spine.

“You’ll all be put into groups of four, and I will choosing them so don’t start moving closer to your friends.”

Skylar wanted to throw up. She couldn’t do this. ‘I only talk to like three people properly in this class’, ‘I cant talk to most of the people in here what am I going to do?’ and ‘I’m fully shaking, I need to get out of this room as fast as possible’, were running through her head at the speed of light. She needed to think of something fast because she doesn’t have long left before the teacher announces what group she’s in. Before she could let another thought intrude her panicking, the teacher speaks up.

“Okay, group one…Skylar”. Fuck. “Leo, Jennie, and Alex.”

Her fear slowly crept away a bit when two of the names that were listed were people she could talk to. After that whole ordeal went down, the rest of the lesson went by swiftly. Now was when she had time to work on her piece by herself, at home, in the comfort of her own space. She hated art class for once specific reason, that everyone else in that class could see everything she was working on and even though it was high school and not a professional art college or anything but it was still so intimidating for everyone to see if she had miserably failed on something or not. And mind you, a lot of the people in her class were born artists. Honestly, she swears the talent came out with them when they were born.

The piece of artwork was due the next week so she decided to get a head start on it so she wasn’t flailing around last minute trying to make it look perfect. Without even realizing, Skylar had finished the whole piece in one night. She was actually very pleased with the way it came out. Then it dawned on her…’What if this is all too much?’ she mused. Imagine being really proud of something you’ve achieved and then getting the crippling fear that others will judge you for it. That was what was swarming round Skylar’s head.

A week had past too fast and its only because the panic of what the other students would think of her artwork. Back in the seat she was sat in exactly a week ago, trembling in fear was now laced with paralysis as she patiently anticipated what the outcome of this whole ordeal would be. Finally as if on cue of cutting her thoughts off, the teacher arose telling everyone to get into their groups and to share what they had all created. Leo was the first to share his piece with the group, it consisted of an oil painting of a silhouetted man hurdled at the knees with waves above him as a symbol of emotions crashing down. It was really creative and the symbolism made it ten times better in Skylar’s opinion. Next up was Jennie, she had sketched an intricate design of half a face and inside of the iris was a broken and beaten down person but from the outside the person was smiling.

“Emotions can hide other emotions,” Jennie mentioned.

Two people had already gone, now she could feel the panic bubbling in her throat. Thankfully, Alex went next, and his piece of art was incredible, it consisted of a blurred out face with many colors leaping off of the persons face as if they were in a hurry to scatter around. He concluded his presentation with,

“It’s supposed to represent the unknown of feelings and emotions.”

Now it was Skylar’s time. All the eyes were on her as she gathered herself to pick up her artwork and show what she had miraculously made. She closed her eyes firmly, not wanting to know the reaction of her peers. That was until she heard a slight gasp from across the table which then turned into a second and then third gasp emitting from all three students. Skylar couldn’t tell if this was a positive or negative reaction so she slowly peered her eyes open to view the three students gawking at her like she had just won the lottery.

“That is the best artwork I’ve ever seen! I swear on my life!” Jennie said with so much awe in her words.

The two other students grumbled in agreement. Skylar didn’t think this would be the outcome. At all. The thing is that Jennie, Leo, and Alex didn’t know that this piece was based off of her and not just some inspiration she had found online. But it didn’t bother her. In fact, she would rather it be like that, less humiliation on her part. She had sketched a person screaming with miniature heads above them, all shouting at the person as if to manipulate their brain into doing something irreversible. Skylar had to come up with something quick to make it seem like it was about another person before the questions started pouring in from the classmates.

“It’s about the voices in your head that try and trick you into doing damage to yourself mentally and physically,” quickly after saying that she quipped with “I know that’s what some people struggle with so I wanted to bring it to light so that other people can see it drawn down on paper.”

She well and truly thought she had saved herself. But when does anything go right for her.

The next day she trudged into school not knowing what was waiting for her behind those hellish doors. Five minutes into the school day, her head of year comes waltzing in asking for Skylar. She never thought anything bad of it, the head of year probably just wanted to chat about how her grades were slipping more recently. What took her by surprise was that the same piece of artwork that she had gleefully shown off to her classmates yesterday was now in the hands of the year leader and being wafted right in her face. The voice of concern came next and Skylar was not excited for what was about to come out of head of year’s mouth.

“Your art teacher, Mrs. Dounce, handed this to me this morning and voiced her concerns about what you turned in for your group project yesterday.”

Fuck. Stuttering was not an option right now but Skylar didn’t know how to form a full sentence to reply to what had just happened. Forcing the first words that wracked into her brain she responded,

“I’m not exactly sure what you mean? I just created a piece of art that I thought was best suit for the topic we were given?”

Confusion laced in her voice as she tried to create the perfect lie.

“You know you can come to talk to me about anything, my door is always open.” She mentioned as she looked at a shrunken Skylar with pleading eyes.

Skylar tried her best to calm down the situation whilst also trying to speed up the conversation so she get out of this uncomfortable situation as fast as possible.

“No I promise everything is fine, like I said I was just trying to stick to the topic and make sure I made it to the best of my abilities.”

The year leader slightly shook her head in approval before dismissing Skylar back to her lesson. But before she could reach the doors to make her brisk exit, a small slip of paper was forced into her hand. She didn’t even check what it was, she just departed with a slight smile and darted as fast as she could towards the bathroom. Once safely in the bathroom she took the time to calm down the high rise of anxiety she was feeling, she peeled open the note. Her worst fears came true that day. Another slip of many she’s had in high school, a school therapist - date and time and where to find them. The school acted like it actually helped the students, but in fact it made them want to off themselves even more.

So here she was again, back in yet another form of therapy. She stopped counting after the age of twelve, it was too much to handle at such a young age. She also stopped caring all together because deep down she knew that none of this would help especially after she’d been doing it for nearly a decade.

Skylar just somehow managed to pass all her GCSE’S in the end. Now was the time to freak out about a fresh new start at college. Skylar doesn’t speak about college, actually she refuses to, it was too much for her in the end and she didn’t make it very long before she dropped out.

Now she just lazes in her room, day in, day out without a care about her future or even herself. She feels like she’s slowly slipping away from reality and her mind is losing consciousness of what day it even is. ‘When the voices won’t quieten down at any time of the day and you feel yourself slipping into insanity, is that normal for a person to feel like this?’. Is what lingers in the back of Skylar’s head everyday as if to notify that her parents might have been right to be afraid of their daughter all along. To say she was lost was an understatement, she forgot how to feel proper emotions after being cooped up in her room for so long but the same would of happened if she was going about her regular day to day life. The world was what made her crazy, the people, the shallow fear of what outside had to bring, and for the most part the three set rule – be born, work until your old, and then die. Being alone had its perks. It gave Skylar time to be herself and to calm down from all the overwhelming responsibilities she knew she had to overcome one day. Being alone also has it disadvantages because as much as she loved being alone she had to actually make sure she kept the only friendships she had.

Speaking of her friends, Rose had tried ringing Skylar five times already trying to get her to come out with them to a club tonight. Skylar though that was possibly the worst situation she could end up in tonight. She would rather be curled up in her bed scrolling through her phone and binge watching a show she’s already seen multiple times before. However, she did feel bad that she had ignored the pleas from all her friends, especially Rose, about tonight’s plans. So out of guilt she ended up being somehow persuaded into this hellish evening. This was the person Rose was, persuading. It depended on the day if she wanted to be viscous or gentle about it though.

Rose was the person everyone would die to have as a friend. She always kept everyone in their best interests and would always reassure everyone that they deserve to live, if not for them then for her. Never a day in her life has she made anyone not feel included. She just has this comfortable presence around her that makes you never feel judged in the slightest for your interests, your personality, and much more. For only being seventeen, she has every trait only Skylar could dream of. Outgoing, bubbly, a kind soul, enthusiastic, and caring and so much more that the list could go on forever. When Skylar agrees to things its always out of impulsiveness, the panic always creeps up after. This is the stage she was right now.

She’d never gone outside of her comfort zone like this before. She knew she couldn’t live in this bubble forever but why did it have to face it today?

Bracing herself for what was to come, she rolled out of her slump and started to gather an outfit together. The endless possibilities of what was to come tonight raced through her head the whole time she was getting ready. Now was the time she could back out but that would just make her friends more disappointed in her.

So here she is, stood outside in the freezing cold waiting for her friends to pick her up. Who knew that this night would change the course of her life forever.

3 notes · View notes

obsessivelollipoplalala · 10 months

Text

Speaking about shitty behavior...

So I recheck the group for Queen on Reddit and see how everything is. Didn't rejoin thank god!

Someone shared a picture of Freddie with the LGBT flag and a comment from someone claiming "he wouldn't like it".

But the comments, whoo boy!

Still insinuating that he was BI, act like that they know him that he wouldn't approve being a gay icon & pride, etc.

Also showing their transmisia (which means hatred of trans people) by excluding the T when they say LGBT.

I'm tempted to poke the bear by commenting on it and enjoy the chaos.

------

I'm going to be totally honest: I'm not even going to read these screenshots because I just don't feel like getting aggravated by people's bigotry tonight tbh. It's really depressing.

But this is why I'm always dragging this shit, because it's over 30 years after Freddie's death and people are STILL screaming and projectile vomiting at the idea of someone they're a fan of being gay, and being an openly gay man at that, as if he didn't purposefully wear shirts from gay sex clubs on stage lmao

(I did get a glimpse of the second to last comment, and that person is 100% correct that people would watch "I Want to Break Free" and scream and call Freddie a groomer nowadays. It's a shame that, almost 40 years later, there would still be a freak-out about that video.)

Anyway, here's Freddie calling himself gay again:

Brian saying that Freddie meant it when he said he was gay:

And Freddie's friend Philip Calvert specifically saying Freddie was gay and not bisexual:

And all of these people can die mad about it.

#submission #replies

5 notes · View notes

msdk-00 · 1 year

Note

What's your favorite Jerma bit?

oh my god anon this question is ripping me apart

for like a proper bit i fucking lost my mind at the crazy bill bit during the insaniquarium stream. the way he riffs it and then goes to break and when he comes back he?? has an audio clip edited together?? that he must have recorded and edited during the break because his own voice is overlapping itself. and the screen is just black with Crazy Bill's New Video on it. i'm also a big proponent of the vid he did with kitboga role playing the midwestern middle aged husband if that counts. spilling the coke all over the printer. mr greenz is also extremely funny especially by the end where he's just projectile vomiting every time he wins And loses at all.

if i can give an honourable mention to a moment that was not a bit per say (or at all) but just horribly funny it would be during a sims stream where he clicks to send a meteorite down on a character but he realizes there's a cat next to him. so for 15 seconds he's screaming at the cat to get out of the way. and then he finally gets like 20 in game feet in front of the character and jerma calms down and IMMEDIATELY AFTER the meteorite strikes down but IT DOESNT EVEN HIT THE GUY IT DIRECTLY HITS THE CAT and jerma screams in horror. i almost passed out the first time i saw it but i cnat call it a bit because it's not but it's a moment. and it's my favourite

#ask #asks #anon #fixed bc i remembered it as a cat but my notes said dog so i fixed to dog but my memeory was right

3 notes · View notes

confirmed-for-trash · 2 years

Text

turns out The Witches of Eastwick is just Jack Nicholson being a sleazy slutty disgusting devil with a tiny ponytail and no fashion sense who has three weed-smoking girlfriends. this movie is nuts.

also Veronica Cartwright projectile vomits all over her bland white people decor and then dies. literally Bye Felicia lmao

love the part where Susan Sarandon plays her cello so hard she has an orgasm and the cello bursts into flames. more insane shit like this in movies please.

oh geez and then the scene of Jack Nicholson manifesting harm on said girlfriends by watching and rewatching the home video footage of them each telling him their deepest fears...

I'm not gonna say any more because the second half is even more unhinged and I don't wanna ruin it. if someone had told me this was directed by the same man who brought us the Mad Max films, with makeup and special effects by Rob Bottin, I would have watched it a long time ago. they really don't make em like this anymore.

#could do with fewer puke scenes though. always hard to watch

2 notes · View notes

wtfcraigslistnyc · 7 months

Text

G.HURDER Y ESTEBAN “GIFTED” Gregorio BOOMHAUSER all the go quick after the drunken wedding fun had come to a close… hammered sitting on my sofa GREGORIO and myself reflected quietly on the evenings doings… while contemplating the arduous labor that awaited upon the COCKS CALL AT DAWN… so we did what YOU FELLAS would have undoubtedly done had you been standing in our sneakers perspectively.. we agree’d that we simply COULDN’T BARE THE THOUGHT of our snippy significant others finding say joy supplies and riding dirty on our GOOD TIMES… so naturally we consumed it all and wished each other a good eve and morrow in but a few short hours… My memory is foggy as I’ve bashed my CPU into CONCRETE one too many times perhaps… but I recall this being my final DO SE DO around the B’n’G sawing my bandana and reminding them AGAIN that I WOULD NOT BRING THEM THE FOOD THEY WAITED OVER AN HOUR FOR DRESSED UP IN DRAG…. My utter distain for the the over-top and just SPECIAL BEHAVIOR of our beloved benefactor and leader CLIFFORD had reached a many years King fever pitch. I’d taken years of punishment and the delicious duo of sleep deprivation and chemical stimulation had turned up to do the damn thing that day…

CHANGE IT!!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! WTF ARE YOU THINKING YOU DUMB BITCH?!?! NO!!! THEY CANNOT HAVE DAIRY FREE GRAVY THATS MADE SOLELY OF HEAVY CREAM AND CHEESE…

All things I heard repeatedly… But on this morning my houndstooth was foaming at the mouth… my tolerance for the PRI-MADONNA antics and flippant disregard basic modicum of decency shown to every human being be they prince or pauper… The music would suddenly grind to a halt and KREMER would belt out that it was some person’s bday and the whole NIGHTMARISH RITUAL resumed… Yet another revolution round the blazing ROKKO as the old ladies hoot and holler.

Clapping and screaming in terror as GREGORIO battles the urge to projectile vomit thick chunks of EVERYTHING BAGEL, ESPRESSO, BEER, COCAINE SNOT and his SELF RESPECT on the TITS on some 17 year old he’s pined over like a man on death row eagerly rubbing together the paws awaiting that bowl of ice cream they give you just before they slap the wet rag and 10,000 VOLT shower cap to your CRANIUM and set loose the JUICE till you SHIT and PISS YOURSELF TO DEATH…

GREGORIO would lift his tired unwashed skirt and approach his victim like a flasher picks the mark they will egregiously exposure themselves to. This charge forward paired with him exposing his even more unwashed HORSE COCK SOCK that he made stupid HORSEY noises as the room clapped along in utter hysteria… The victim would pretend not be excited as GREGORIO ground his unwashed manhood in a manner more TITTY BAR than brunch destination… as he completed his MAGUM OPUS of public humiliation and VILE SEXUAL ABUSE in a SHOWGIRLS like context the applause would thunder and AQUA or some other deplorable BULLSHIT would bellow back over the greasy speakers…

Often he would withdraw from the ritual having left a wee snail trail of PRE-CUM on his victim/birthday person’s blouse, trousers or fleshy thigh….

Such was life for almost a decade… I wouldn’t let the TOXIC VIBES get me down.. oh no… not for me… I would always take the high road and simply excuse myself to the front and grab any old coffee mug that fit in my palm and slip right through the packed dining room to calmly step into the parking lot. I’d take out my DUG OUT and rip and angry blast of the REEFERINO strait to my nut, holding my breathe and hurling the ceramic mug at the red brick shattering it into a million pieces. As the glass cascaded into the alley I’d blow out my hit and set strait back into the kitchen stinking like 80’s COMMERCIAL with NANCY REGEAN narrating a montage of a my life in a HOW NOT TO CONTEXT INSTRUCTIONAL video. Highlighting key moments in my life where I made and did ridiculous and terrible things that would ultimately lead me to living in a blood red attic apartment, dating a lady 9 years younger than me, an abject failure of a man pretending to be a professional artist, completely delusional and letting life rip by while licking imaginary wounds… NANCY would be especially scathing as the mug exploded and I exhaled the DEVIL WEED and returning to the work place where I posed a very immediate threat to myself and others… CLIFF was screaming about food being reading where the FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!… i grunted and took the plates with piping hot RUEBENS on them. They are like two monsters that smell like McDONALDS fart breath in my hands… the poor choices that lead to this moment gurgled in my guts. The weed, drugs, exhaustion and RONETTE’ MCDONALD QUEEF in my PAWS was more weight then I could bear… I could feel body preparing to show just how pissed off it was with me…

I charged out of the kitchen so as to avoid blowing chunks all over the food and creating a scene. I was desperate to find ANYONE to take these GODDAM RUEBEN’s out of my hands before my stomach garnished them in sick…

I came upon LUCAS first.. Good old agreeable, hard working and reliable power bottom extraordinare’… Rather open my mouth and barf on him as I feared… I used nonverbal means to hand off the RUEBENS and run out the back door. I kicked him in the shin as hard as I could without warning and jammed both plates in his hands as he belted out a scream of pain… I screamed out a battle cry and charged out the door, falling to my knees on the asphalt wrenching and blasting juices from my nostrils and mouth profusely… Through the TEAR & PUKE I could see a family cautiously inching past me in the parking lot… surely any establishment who’s employees are barfing in the back lot is a top notch spot well worth waiting over an hour for the table….

The rest of the blur was spent in excruciating pain. BLUNTING telling my dear friend and mentor to:

FUCK OFF AND DIE, EAT SHIT YOU MISERABLE CUNT, YOU CHANGE IT MOTHERFUCKER!!!

The crescendo and final note of this symphony or pain was struck when carried the final RWK plate to the deuce out side, gently settling them down before the final hungry guest of the day… then I sneezed and mocked the giant oversized neon coffee mug directly into both plates of CLIFFORD’s legendary CHEESY STRADA HEART ATTACK HELPER… the guests looked terrified I let out a WOOKIE roar of FUUUUUUUUCK!!!! NOOOOOOO and grabbed both soaked plates. Hurled the JAVA SOAKED contents into the bushes and casting both cheap plastic plates like frisbees into the parking lot… I’LL BE BACK… My time with CLIFFORD and the MOTLEY CRUE we called a family at the BUMP AND GRIND had come to a close.

(9.23.23)

0 notes

blue-eyed-bloodstains · 1 year

Text

1. Have you ever had a pillow explode feathers everywhere? no thank god lol

2. Have you seen the new Seeing Red movie on Disney+? we don’t have Disney+ so no 3. Are you able to taste the difference between Pepsi & Coke? yeah, Pepsi is a sweeter taste and Coke has the best flavors, and I love both 4. What was your last reason for projectile vomiting? I’m almost always projectile vomiting more often than not because of my CVS (no not the pharmacy, it’s an illness) 5. What are some of your hobbies that you enjoy? crosswords, watching tv, listening to music, playing video games

6. Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? depends and I haven’t gone clothes shopping in years I’m definitely overdue! some of my fave stores are Wet Seal (I miss it!!!), Kohls, Hot Topic 7. Where was your best hide & go seek spot as a child? there were a lot of good ones in our development/cul de sac lol 8. Do you have a favorite Disney princess? Nala (yes she counts!) and Cinderella 9. When’s the last time you had to attend a staff meeting? ummm the only one I can think of is back in 2018 at a surf n’ turf restaurant I worked at when we’d have occasional morning staff meetings around the bar...I was a host so normally I’d be setting up the tables while the servers, bartender and manager on duty would have them but they’d call me in too a few times 10. Are you still required to wear a mask where you live? only in doc offices and the hospital really, most other places unless specified on their doors have dropped it 11. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? ooooh god...BLT, especially at a diner cause they make it the best! toast and thick juicy fatty bacon omggg 12. What’s the last piece of furniture you purchased? jesus it’s been so long lol we haven’t gotten furniture since we moved in so...I guess the coffee table 13. What are the colors of the walls you are currently in? beige, although the smoke has really darkened it a bit...eek 14. What is your phone’s battery percentage at right now? definitely needs a charge since I have this plugged in (battery is shot so I can’t be online without having it plugged in) and the AC is in the outlet closest to me lol it’s less than a third so I’d say looks about 30%

15. In your opinion, what is one of the most unpleasant smells? ammonia (think cat litter), rotting food especially dairy, puke..there’s lots 16. Is there a popular food out there that you do not enjoy at all? Hawaiian pizza! I love pineapple, I love pizza but together? no it’s just wrong and don’t hate on me I know everyone loses their shit over this debate :P 17. How do you like your steak? medium rare

18. How many pages was the last book you read? it’s been way too long since I read and finished a book lol I can’t even remember, it was probably Fault In Our Stars or If I Stay...Fault has 313 pages (313, FUCK FREE WORLD! iykyk ;) ) and Stay has 210 pages 19. Are you easily distracted? ohhhh yeah...SHINY! SQUIRREL! not ADD, just easily distracted and caught off guard 20. Do you have any desire to travel to Guam? no? don’t know anything about it

#survey #bored #random #about me

0 notes

amplesalty · 2 years

Text

Halloween 2022 - Day 24 - Bad Taste (1987)

Hey, up yours too buddy!

Too soon, movie, too soon...

It’s not everyday we’re graced on this blog with the work of an award winning director, much less an Academy Award, but that’s what we’ve got today in the form of Sir Peter Jackson. Much like year one of this blog and our look at Braindead (Or Dead Alive as it may be known to you if you’re from certain parts of the world), we’re going back to his early days of pissing about with his mates making films just choc full of cartoonish violence. This is his very first feature length film, no less, but certainly does share that same sense of over the top gore and unpleasant sounds affects as Braindead.

Jackson wears many hats in this film; director, producer, writer and even actor...twice in fact! I didn’t even recognise him in the role of Derek, one of a small team of government agents sent to investigate a supposed alien invasion of the fictional village of Kaihoro, which apparently comes from two Maori words of Kai (food) and Horo (village). A fitting name given that it transpires that these alien invaders plan to use the Earth as their own personal supermarket, 4 billion prospective choices for food that they can shuttle back home and use in their homosapien fast food business.

He is much more recognisable as one of the aliens, Rober, though, seen here just casually tucking into the head cheese of one of his dead mates. Where do you think he got a spoon from? Do you think he just always carries one around like Joey?

These aliens are ore like zombies really, a bit dimwitted and slow moving at times and with headshots being the preferred way to kill them. Though, they are a bit more intelligent than most zombies and eventually even start using firearms.

The action here is much more muted in comparison to Braindead, at least from what I recall, but you’ve still got copious amounts of fake blood, projectile vomiting, heads being caved in, guts flying everywhere and arms being ripped off. It really is amazing what Jackson and his pals were able to pull off on such a limited budget of only $25,000. Though, that might need to come with an asterix as apparently the New Zealand film board would later give them a rather hefty grant too. There is a short behind the scenes documentary for this which would be interesting to check out. Seems like Jackson has always been very into documenting the whole production aspect of his films even from day one. I know I’ve got a DVD around here somewhere of his production diaries from the 2006 King Kong remake and I think he did similar videos too for The Hobbit movies.

The movie does really ramp up into straight up action farce by the end with a huge shoot out between these two warring factions but it’s good cheesy fun overall. Just seeing these rather unassuming guys take on these waves of other worldly creatures with their New Zealand accents is rather amusing, but maybe that’s because I watch far too much DankPods with all his off the cuff stories of bogans with delusions of grandeur. Again, from my hazy decade old memories Braindead really did kick this up a notch with the gross out visuals and kung fu priests that kick arse for the Lord, but it’s interesting to see Jackson’s humble beginnings and It really is a marvel what these guys were able to produce with all these different setpieces, props, effects etc.

Including the Popemobile esque car where the driver sites in an elevated position because the normal driver level front window is taken up by four cardboard cut outs of the Beatles. Whoever owns that car must be a real Day Tripper...

#Halloween 2022 #Bad Taste

0 notes

yamagucji · 3 years

Text

Embarrassing moments

warnings. just for shits n giggles, 14+ readers preferably, mentions of vomit, poop, choking, etc.

HINATA was extremely constipated and needed to use the bathroom quick. but there’s a long line to the mens bathroom (what’s the occasion anyway??) and he’s standing all the way at the back. poor hinata felt a fart coming so he just couldn’t... hold it in. mans SHARTED. shitted and farted at the same time. it stunk so bad that the guys in front of him said, “damn, you need the toilet more than me,” and let him cut in line.

USHIJIMA and tendou stopped to pet this dog during their walk. tendou’s conversing with the owner while toshi’s petting the dog. dog likes it, it’s all good. until... it got bored and decided that toshi’s butt smelled good. dog just wouldn’t stop sniffing his ass. “please, stop smelling me,” toshi says with desperation, which now catches the others’ attention. the owner has to pry their dog away from toshi’s ass cheeks, please. the awkward tension kinda dies down until tendou utters, “so, what’s your secret? what product are you using?”

YAMAGUCHI drank water in the middle of silent class reading. this boy started choking— and i mean choking on his water. you can hear his muffled coughs in the distance and when you turn around to look at him, his face is all red and his cheeks are puffy. none of his classmates say anything but you can practically feel second-hand embarrassment oozing around. the assistant teacher even has the audacity to say, “drink some water.”

KENMA’s calling this one his last try. he sticks his remaining coins into the slot and tries to get the brand new nintendo box thats in the machine. mf has been going at this for over twenty minutes now. his pouch is empty and there’s a crowd of kids waiting for him. no miracle happens in his last try (shit got stuck!!) so he has to move away only to watch in horror— as the kid after him manages to get it. you’re gonna have to hold kenma down before he hunts that kid with every bit of his soul.

DAICHI had a fat one coming in, that’s for sure. thought it was a free real estate just because everyone else in the camp seemed asleep. so he let that monster fart come out (even partly stuck out his thigh for better airway). whole team was awake in a matter of seconds. nishinoya’s jumped off his sleeping bag and asking everyone if they heard that “loud bang.” tanaka’s over here sniffing around because he knows that no one has got some kind of bomb that stinks.

SAKUSA’s not gonna admit to this one. but one time he opened a bathroom stall (it was unlocked) only to find that it was occupied. there are no words to accurately describe just how horried the sight was. sitting on the toilet was a man taking a shit, with his dick on full boner mode, staring back at sakusa. they only made eye contact for just 2 seconds but sakusa’s seen enough. he’s heard enough too, when said stranger asked him, “you wanna join me?”

ASAHI projectile vomited at the theaters. you should’ve known it was a bad idea to take him out to dinner before going to watch a scary movie. man had no courage to tell you he had an upset stomach nor tell you he’s not a fan of horror. it’s twenty minutes into the movie and he’s poking your arm— but you don’t notice because you’re too engrossed. another twenty minutes, and a jumpscare comes on. man beside you vomits like there’s no tomorrow. ya’ll spend the rest of the movie secretly trying to clean his throw-up.

TENDOU was watching anime in his dorm peacefully. until... the whole shiratorizawa team opened the door just in time for the show to switch up to an inappropriate scene. out of all the times they could’ve walked in, they really had to come when 2d clown man was moaning and fighting a kid? tendou scrambled to close his laptop but now he’s just staring back at his teammates; silent, except for the fact that his show is still playing and you can still hearing moaning in the background.

TSUKISHIMA turned his house upside down and still couldn’t find his glasses, nor his extra pair. he was about to leave bare eyed until his mom caught him and forced him to wear his sports glasses. yeah, the one with the whole strap and everything. mans looked like a fool coming to school with it on. people who didn’t know it was his sports glasses mistook it for swimming goggles. he’s so utterly humiliated now, he can’t even bite back when hinata or kageyama says something.

GOSHIKI... i don’t even know what to tell you. who let this kid go further into the lake by himself? it’s all fun and games for everyone until you hear an ear-defeaning shriek by your one and only goshiki. he’s yelling out, “help me! please! help!!” the lifeguards start kicking in and everyone’s trying to make way. is he drowning? is there something there? no for god’s sake. you find out he just made it 5 ft deep and happened to swim over a bunch of seaweed. never take him swimming again.

ATSUMU decided to check himself out using someone’s car window. he’s fixing his hair, picking at his teeth, and even checking to see if he has any boogers. all of a sudden the window rolls down and there’s a senior citizen staring back at him. “boy do you think my car is your mirror?” the man says in a gruffy voice. atsumu’s knees nearly buckle from how scary this man is and how embarrassed he is of all the four minutes he probably spent with this stranger.

SACHIRO’s job as a vet sometimes makes him do really questionable shit (from an outsider perspective). once he had to ejaculate someone’s dog in front of their owner. uh huh... jack them off, for the sole purpose of examining the dog’s semen. he’s never felt such a wave of regret wash through his body during that whole procedure. it didn’t help when the owner was looking at him mortified, nor the fact that it took such a long time.

OIKAWA does this thing were he shows up unexpectedly behind iwaizumi and slaps his ass. everytime he does it iwa always hits him back (but not the ass). today he learnt his lesson when he mistook a stranger for iwa and slapped the guys ass from the moon and back. when i tell you just how quick all the blood drained from oikawa’s body when the man turned around— you can hear a bag of chips fall at the other end of the aisle and it’s the iwa, who had to witness that whole ass-slap event.

ARAN is gonna knock the shit of the miya twins one day, he swears to god. they sent him a mysterious video during his morning walk, where he stopped at a busy street. it starts off quiet, so he goes to turn the volume up full blast. damn video suddenly started blaring ‘lick my pussy and my-’ please... he’s shaking. passerby’s are looking at him with distaste. aran’s now flushed from embarrassment and running towards the miya house. you can guess what happens next.

BOKUTO walked into the wrong house. spent a whole ten minutes rummaging around the kitchen because his friend said to “make yourself comfortable, i’ll be on my way.” little did this man know that there’s a whole family upstairs waiting for the cops to arrive because they think it’s a robbery. poor bokuto, dragged out of the house by some cops but had no idea what was going on. man was literally just vibing— thinking he was in his friends house.

OSAMU swore this size pants still fit him (hint: it doesn’t). he’s walking through the snack section of the store, lightly limping because damn his dick can’t breath. his truth is tested when he goes to pick something off the lowest shelf and his pants literally go, ‘let er rip.’ fabric tore, and what’s worse is that he was wearing onigiri undies. osamu goes to check if there’s anyone else in the aisle and there is— a group of underclassmen girls from his high school.

KUROO tried to make his chemistry presentation more interesting by putting in jokes. he thought they were funny; kenma even huffed a breath. kuroo’s at his third joke by now and literally no one has laughed. not a single one. except for kuroo himself, who’s awkwardly laughing in a dead-silent room. man was embarrassed. other people are getting second-hand embarrassment by the way they avoided eye contact with him. he vented to kenma later only for kenma to say, “it wasn’t funny. it was just stupid.” poor kuroo.

SUNA accidentally connected his bluetooth to the bus. you know, the one that drives all of inarizaki to their games. wanna guess what the fuck he might’ve been listening to? it’s porn. he’s watching porn in broad daylight. suna doesn’t realize what the issue is until he goes to turn up the volume and notices that the sound is off. he take his airpods off and that’s when he hears pure moaning sounds blaring inside the bus. everyone’s laughing— except for kita and their coach who’s still outside. mf calls himself lucky for that.

3K notes · View notes

sneezyminniejo · 2 years

Note

If you like them/know them.. i believe Woosung from The Rose is fron the united states. The Rose is one of my favorite groups and I would love to see some sickfic content of them. Idk what all you write but i personally like fevers and emeto, but whatever youre comfortable with!

Here it is, hope you enjoy

TW EMETO

It's Cold Outside

Woosung made a mistake. He’s never been a fan of Korean winters. Primarily because the temperature is so much colder than back home in California. However, he was getting a little tired of his members teasing him for wearing layer upon layer as soon as it dropped below fifty degrees fahrenheit. He decided that he would do his best to prolong using a coat until his bandmates deemed it cold enough.

It was currently forty one degrees fahrenheit outside and the group was filming for a music video. Woosung was freezing. He was wearing a sweater, but could not for the life of him understand how his members were comfortable in the cold with only a sweater. He really wished he had done as he normally does every year and bundled up properly instead of giving in to his members’ playful teasing.

As soon as filming finished for the day and the group had arrived home, Woosung called dibs on first shower. After the shower, he went to the kitchen and made himself a nice hot mug of hot chocolate. As usual, his members teased him a bit about how he’s been seemingly unable to properly acclimate to Korean weather, but Woosung chose to ignore it, instead basking in the warmth of his drink while curled up under a warm blanket.

The following morning, Woosung felt like absolute shit. He was freezing, which he didn’t understand because he slept under ten blankets the previous night. His head was pounding, and he just wanted to sleep. He tried to let his body drift back to sleep, but his alarm clock went off signaling that he needed to get up to prepare for the day’s schedule. Standing up, Woosung felt a wave of dizziness run through his head, and he had to brace himself against his bed frame until it passed. Once he was absolutely certain the dizzy spell had passed, he left his room to get ready for the day.

The other members were already awake and bustling about the kitchen by the time Woosung sat down at the table. Woosung had been zoning out, just staring at the table when someone placed a plate of food in front of him, bringing him out of his zoned out state.

“Are you feeling okay hyung, or are you trying to communicate with the table?” Hajoon asked as he sat at the table with the others and began eating. “I’m just tired.” Woosung said as he lethargically picked up his chopsticks and began eating. Eating had been a bad idea, for, as soon as the first bite of food hit his tongue, Woosung could feel his body rejecting it. He quickly put his chopsticks down to try to force the bite of food down with water. Instead he made a mess.

Woosung was mid gag when he tried to drink the water, and all that did was turn the gag into a full blown retch. He didn’t have time to do anything aside from turn his head so his mouth was directly over his lap as his stomach began pouring its contents out of his mouth.

It took a couple moments for the others to fully process what was happening before Junhyeong got up and grabbed the nearest trash can, quickly bringing it over to the oldest as he continued to puke. Junhyeong held the trash can with one hand and placed his other hand on the eldest’s back, recoiling slightly at the heat he could feet through the shirt.

“Hyungs, I’m pretty sure he’s sick. He’s way warmer than he should be.” Junhyeong said worriedly. Hajoon and Dojoon finally stepped into action upon hearing that. Dojoon went to message their manager that the schedule for the would need to either be postponed or canceled all together, as Woosung just projectile vomited all over their breakfast. Meanwhile Hajoon went to their medicine cabinet to get the thermometer and any medicine they might have.

By the time Hajoon and Dojoon had returned, Woosung had finished puking and Junyeong was in the process of getting him to the bathroom so he could get cleaned up. Dojoon helped Junyeong get Woosung into the bathroom while Hajoon went to grab the sickie a change of clothes. The three of them then worked in tandem to get Woosung cleaned up. They moved him to the couch when they were done.

“Hyung, out of sheer curiosity, how long have you been feeling sick?” Dojoon asked. “I woke up freezing and just not feeling right. It’s probably because I only wore a sweater yesterday instead of a coat yesterday when it was freezing out.” Woosung pouted as he pulled the trash can closer to him, unsure if he was going to be sick again.

“Hyung, you do realize it doesn’t work like that right. I mean the chilly weather yesterday could have potentially lowered your immune system, but definitely not to the extent to make you this sick.” Hajoon said, right before Woosung clutched the trash can to his chest. The group watched as Woosung began to throw up again. Dojoon was rubbing his back and watched as some undigested bits of last night’s dinner flowed out of the leader’s mouth and splashed into the can.

Woosung leaned against the couch when he finished, placing the can at his feet. “How about you lie down and take a nap? We can try food and medicine after your stomach has had some time to calm down a little.” Hajoon said. Woosung shook his head as he made a move to get up, only to have Dojoon and Junhyeong holding down either side of him so he couldn’t actually get up. “Hyung, if you think you’re going to your schedule, I already called you in sick. And when I told manager-nim that you projectile vomited on our breakfast, he told me he didn’t want to see any of us until sometime next week.” Dojoon said, causing Woosung to relax slightly before looking panicked.

“I puked on the food?!” “Only a little bit hyung, but we can just make ourselves some more food. Now do you want to sleep out here or in your room?” Woosung thought for a moment before ultimately decided that the couch would be a better option. It didn’t take long before Woosung was peacefully sleeping on the couch, trashcan right next to his head just in case.

Over the course of the day, Woosung had been sick three more times, but the episodes had been spread out enough that his members weren’t too concerned. The following day, He threw up twice and his fever had lowered. It took another two days before Woosung’s fever had fully broken. Somehow, the other three managed not to catch whatever bug Woosung had caught. However, as soon as he was healthy again, his members didn’t hesitate to continue teasing him about his distaste for cold weather. Even though he now potentially had a reason to wear a coat when it’s fifty degrees fahrenheit outside.

“I maintain that it’s cold outside and there is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.” Woosung told his members as they left the dorm for their first full day of schedules since the eldest had gotten sick. They just laughed at him, but acknowledged that there’s no harm in wearing a coat if you’re feeling cold.

#sickfic #the rose #emeto

13 notes · View notes

thefreshchannel · 3 years

Note

What do u think ur fav td charas would be like drunk

I’m gonna do some of my favs and whether they drink or not

I already talked about courtney being a lightweight and a crying drunk like she gets giggly at first and likes to sing out of the blue but then she just remembers her party’s probably watched total drama and cries and projectile vomits because she can’t hold her alcohol. Super embarrassed about it the day after and reports any videos of her wasted on social media only to be met with “if u dont like this untag urself” and she threatens with lawyers. Obviously she’s not gonna follow through with that but it enrages her lol

Heather pretty much has a high tolerance for alcohol and will start getting a little buzzed after many drinks. She starts yelling probably and brings up stuff that was supposed to be a secret and laughs a lot like “hey leshawna remember when u told me this? Oh that was supposed to be a secret hahaha oops!” (I like to think she likes to go clubbing with leshawna bc fuck whatever happened in tdwt theyre besties)

Alejandro also has a high tolerance. He only allows himself to feel a bit buzzed for fun, probably refuses to let himself get too wasted or a mess. Probably laughs a lot and stumbles over his words and mixes a lot of his spanish with his english. Can start dancing a lot with the bros and singing.

Trent likes to drink as if he was a famous musician at parties and attempts to get lit but becomes an emotional drunk. He’ll obviously bring his guitar to whatever party he’s invited to and like perform but the moment he gets to an emotional song he’ll start crying and then ppl go like “geoff man this guy’s bringin the party down” and geoff has to get trent like “bro it’s cool take a lil break” and gives him water. Trent then knocks out and falls asleep and wakes up with a massive headache and without any memory of the events at the party and likes to think he was very much a party animal. Geoff doesnt have the heart to tell him otherwise.

I wanted to be like uwu owen dont drink but realistically this man loves craft beers. He has a high alcohol tolerance as well and is mostly the laughing drunk and life of the party. Once he is fully wasted he would probably take his shirt off and dance and pass out and not remember anything the day after, but that would be after many many MANY drinks. I’d like to think he started drinking young like maybe geoff would invite him to parties and sneak alcohol in and at first owen would be like “but we can’t drink alcohol :0” but then let loose and join the fun.

Noah likes to drink in moderation. He can also make some fancy drinks like bartenders do? Probably gets home after work and has a little drink of wine. Never lets it get past one or two. He knows his limits and how much a lightweight he is. When he’s drunk he’s also a laughing oversharing drunk and very VERY clumsy and constantly tripping over things. Owen has to care for him when he’s in this situation which is when noah gets clingy and kisses him all over and goes like “big guyyyyy carryy meeeee :(“ the next day he definitely feels it and can barely get up. Also a puking disaster.

I’d like to think eva either doesn’t drink or does drink but very moderately and would have a high alcohol tolerance anyways. Izzy does drink however, and despite having a high tolerance for alcohol she drinks so much when she’s at parties like she probably would do shots and beer pong games and do the stand up keg thing and probably shotguns beers and keep joining drinking games after that. And she wins all of them lol. She’s twice as crazy and giggly when she’s drunk but just moves a lot slower and clumsier. Tries to put stuff in her mouth that isn’t edible. Blacks out and wakes up in another location and walks away as if nothing happened. Whenever eva is invited with her eva ends up babysitting and being the DD.

Rock and spud are party animals. Definitely have high alcohol tolerance so it takes a lot for them to get drunk but they will still aim for that anyways. Spud for the most part can chug many drinks and his delayed reaction would make it so he starts getting drunk moments after which is why spud tends to think the alcohol isnt having effect and keeps on drinking. Both reckless drunks. Destroy shit, lose clothes, drink more, party hard, spud goes on to do stupid dares that rock’s too drunk to stop him from doing, black out, wake up somewhat buzzed with their heads pounding and random tattoos they dont remember getting on them. Spud feels the headaches much later so he’s always laughing and talking about what a good time they had.

Leshawna likes to think she has high alcohol tolerance much like she likes to think she knows how to dance, i feel like her and heather would have drinking nights at clubs and leshawna would lose herself fast and become a huge giggling mess and dances much worse than she usually does but the club loves her. Constantly tells heather stuff like “yknow...u are so fuckin toxic but ur my friend....u suck but i cant hate ya...u showed ur tits to someone i liked at the time...:ur a wh*re...ur my wh*re friend...” and obviously heather being a bit buzzed finds this hilarious and tries to get leshawna to stop drinking. Calls people and says personal stuff. Can get emotional at times. Mostly just giggly, loves to dance. Calls harold constantly like “u remember back in tdi...” and harold has to drive all the way to leshawna to get her before she gets any worse or lets more stuff out. Leshawna gets hangovers bad tho so the next day she’s practically dead. I’d like to think her and gwen become roommates before gwen dates courtney in my future au so gwen’s the one caring for leshawna being like “i told u heather has no control with drinks” heather obviously calls to make sure leshawna’s alive and harold checks on her constantly.

#these are all i can think abt rn

14 notes · View notes