#if you can wage war with ur fucked up little guys u can take some responsibility for it

[kleenexwoman]

wait but do u have posts about ur fics so i know what to ask u about 🤲🏻💖

Master List now in progress!

STRANGER THINGS

Ego Death With a Side of Demonolatry

a lesser key for a smaller lock at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45536833

Eddie summons a demon, and it decides to possess Steve and take Eddie's virginity. I came back from a witch convention with COVID and had this as a series of fever dreams. Take that as you will.

now i can wake up and face the day at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49101538

Inspired by a post on @thorniest-rose about Steve being BPD. Mental institution abuse, conversion therapy, electroshock. This one's getting a longer second chapter soon.

Eddie Sells Billy Bad Tabs at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48920308

Inspired by a discussion on the Eddie Sluts Discord about Eddie having the chance to punch Billy. I suggested a more subtle method of revenge.

Everything That Rocks

Move to the City at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48409945

A little metal RPF. Eddie hooks up with Rob Halford (inspired by real events in Rob's life) and sells weed to Axl Rose (Indiana boy).

Gary Rock City at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48735946

A Reader/Eddie fic. Reader finds Eddie at a bar and talks about their favorite metal bands.

MARVEL

Writing About the Gods

the whisper of the wind and the words of the woods at https://archiveofourown.org/works/406564

Thor takes Steve to help him fix a drought in Middle America--by having sex with the goddess Columbia. I've been informed that Thor is actually with Columbia in the American Gods TV show, which tickles the hell out of me.

Permit Me to Tell You How to Wage War at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40130454

Speaking of American Gods... Justin Hammer makes a new friend in prison. This is me smooshing Sam Rockwell and Crispin Glover together like I like to do. Not gonna tell you much else cause NOT FINISHED YET.

Five Times Loki Flirted With Royalty (And One Wedding) at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43872652

Loki said that he'd flirted with princes and princesses both. Join the fun and subscribe as the royalty and deities are slowly revealed.

on a high hill, his clear gaze at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44892385

my heart was not so hard as your arrow at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45244795

sweeter than ambrosia is your love returned at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45260953

An Eros/Loki teenaged love story I wrote for the Valentine's Day bingo at @marvelrarepairbingo. I thought Eros was cute as shit (I didn't know he was in a boy band and I apologize to my edgy middle school self, lol). Hail Eris Discordia, as always.

Writing About Being Jewish

The Angel and the Wise Man at https://archiveofourown.org/works/249466

This was an attempt to do an X-Men: First Class fic in the style of Isaac Bashevis Singer. Some asshole started arguing with me in the comments and made me lose my wind entirely. Fuck that guy.

the fruit of your hands, the breath of your being at https://archiveofourown.org/works/438561

Three chapters of suburban AU Cherik mpreg free verse. I turned the first one into a poem I read at my open mic and impressed a bunch of crustpunks with it.

When Orchards Burn Their Lamps of Fiery Gold at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42156090

Tony Stark goes to shul for the first time after he finds out his daughter Morgan is autistic, and talks with Magneto. This is a very personal work and Pepper is real shitty about autism in it for Story Reasons.

A Taste of Orange and Plum at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43590858

Magneto and Emma Frost compare holiday memories. I found out some FASCINATING shit about Nazi Christmas for this fic!

Bad Shit Happens to Steve and Bucky

Tarot Americaine at https://archiveofourown.org/works/35152768

First Steve runs across a magical mutant carnival somewhere in the Midwest on his USO tour--and becomes small again for a night--then he's co-starring with famed eternal beauty Emma Frost in his own series of low-budget action films. Then, eventually, he goes to a Hellfire Club party on Halloween and meets thinly veiled versions of real life people I want to rag on. NOT FINISHED YET.

a slice of life and cucumber at https://archiveofourown.org/works/36433486

I literally just gave Bucky a day I had. It's stuff that happened to me, but it's Bucky. And also I hurt my foot instead of my arm.

Every Breath That I Held For You at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40856901

My answer to what happens when Steve goes back in time to share that dance with Peggy. Past Tony/Steve, and Peggy is not portrayed kindly in this for Story Reasons. I also spend about half a chapter just making the characters watch a play that I really liked. NOT FINISHED YET.

Coffee in Paradise at https://archiveofourown.org/works/33429637

So I wanted to write a coffeeshop AU for Steve and Bucky that had intense longing, Sugar Daddy Tony Stark, a threesome where the guys pretend really hard not to have feelings for each other, and just a whole lot of angst and loving detail about stuff like sandwiches and interior decoration. And this is it. It's gonna be long and meandering. There's random sex dreams sprinkled in. And very powerful, magical things want Steve and Bucky to be as happy as possible. NOT FINISHED, ENDPOINT INDEFINITE

pizza in heaven at https://archiveofourown.org/works/35266066

A "The Good Place" fusion/crossover where Bucky is basically Eleanor and Tony is... well, he's still Tony. They're fake soulmates! Tahani is there running things and has Heelys. I attracted an infamous troll to this one.

The Sun is Also a Warrior at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43872903

Captain America but it's a 1940s urban fantasy universe where humans mix with magical folk pretty freely. Dracula is in it. NOT FINISHED YET.

so pricketh them nature in their courages at https://archiveofourown.org/works/39808719

Captain America if Steve and Bucky were Arthur and his most loyal knight. Peggy is Guinevere and once again not portrayed kindly for Story Reasons.

The Seventh Spring at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43591576

I tried to smoosh together Captain America (apex of corporate entertainment) with a couple of Ingmar Bergman movies (apex of thoughtful independent film). Will probably remain unfinished because I got on antidepressants that work and I can't write the grim shit I was gonna.

FAIRY TALES

Fairytales at https://archiveofourown.org/works/141004

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "Fairytales" and the "Real Housewives of X County" shows my mom was watching all the time, this Yuletide Exchange original imagines popular princesses as modern women with their own TV shows.

The Legend of the Dancing Queene at https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803193

Inspired by ABBA's "Dancing Queen" and Christina Rossetti's "Goblin Market," this Yuletide Exchange poem tells the story of a girl cursed to dance for centuries by fairies (literal centuries, until the 1970s).

The Uses of Enchantment at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42710370

An "Enchanted" fanfic following Nancy Tremaine as she struggles to adjust to ruling her new kingdom. NOT FINISHED YET.

#captain america #stucky #stucky fanfiction #cherik #cherik fanfic #enchanted fanfic #Steddie #stranger things fanfic

[zanguntsu]

what are ur thoughts on each bleach arc o: like quality wise!

oh boy this got longer than expected. Whoops.

substitute arc: i rlly like this arc! its short but i love how it sets up the characters and i adore the integration between ichigos human life vs shinigami life And i like the monster of the week set up its a fun and its a lot more character focused in the beginning. the fights were very character driven, like with grand fisher, sora, the hollow that went to hell. all the fights felt like they had a meaning that had a strong impact on a character, like ichigo having closure after defeating (he should have killed him tbh) grand fisher.

soul society: one of the best if not the best arcs imo. theres a good amount of development, the fights are good and have emotional weight (ichigo v byakuya, uryu v mayuri, chad v shunsui, yoruichi v soi fon) and the newly introduced characters are interesting! very iconic and cool! there was a lot of character arc conclusions? Closure? like with uryu and yoruichi as well as rukia. the characters are a strong point here too and the introduction of soul society brought in world building and it was something we really needed to see. soul society as the villains was pretty good and it did show them as a threat. its a good arc and had a good cliffhanger ending to the next arc

arrancar arc: its a pretty good arc but this is where i feel like bleach was starting to fall off in quality since kubo didnt plan for the series to go past ss. like the plot was a little repetitive with the rescue arc the placing was pretty bad and its where the kubos problem of having too many characters started forming. there are some pretty good moments though, i really love the ichigo vs grimmjow and ichigo vs ulquiorra fights along with rukia vs aaroniero (rukia development time,,). the arc just felt pretty slow at times ig? But there are some very good moments

fake karakura arc/deicide: i like this arc even though i know half of it was bullshit. there are some good fights, soi fon vs barragan is one of my faves bc her bankai and it was just interesting to see the captains more involved even though i wish they didnt just stand there. like cmon the fate of the world is at stake gang up on ppl u have numbers. i do think its bullshit to have aizen be That powerful (i will excuse the hogyoku use bc thats his trump card and was set up) but having him take down everyone like that was eh. like i know it was meant to show how powerful aizen was but honestly i wish there was a better way. maybe make them all fight amongst each other like with momo but its all mind games and shit i feel like that was a better way of showing how strong aizen was. also speaking of aizen i wish there was more character to him like take away his manipulative badass thing and its just nothing. what drives him to kill the soul king and why? was it loneliness (which is a poor motive tbh), injustice? what brought him on this path? i feel like tousens goals had more to it then aizen tbh

the deicide arc was pretty okay i love mugetsu but im sorry there was absolutely no lead up to him. i love that form but its pretty bullshit that it didnt get as much as a mention in the past and i wish it did bc that would have made mugetsu have a lot more impact. i remember how ppl theorized that it was how isshin lost his powers even though it was proven otherwise but i wish they went with that. but i did like seeing zangetsu again and that touching moment with him and ichigo was good also the rukia and ichigo goodbye was very emotional. was it a good arc? maybe not plot wise but its pretty beloved

fullbringer: oh this is where the quality definitely dropped which sucks because i feel like this arc had a very interesting premise and plot set up. i know that i havent watched/read all of the fb arc but i do know enough of it just not much in between the beginning and end. i wish that the fullbringers had more focus bc they were all forgettable except maybe riruka and they should have had more screentime and the concept of fullbringers is genuinely interesting?? humans with hollow powers is a good concept and its a shame kubo didnt expand upon this more

oh and i have some beef with the villains bc its a fucking tragedy of wasted potential. ginjo is like. almost there to be considered a good villain. hes the previous substitute shinigami and u only bring it up at the end?? thats such a huge chunk of information and it sets up a connection between ichigo and ginjo. idc about tsukishima he can be whatever but i do think ginjo could have been a pretty good villain if he wasnt as blatantly evil. like i know the betrayal schtick is getting old but i would have preferred him as a villain with good intentions, like having him against soul society is a good motive bc ss commits war crimes but it was never clear in this arc (aside from ss monitering the substitutes) but it just didnt feel as strong as a motive to make him do what he did.

one good thing i do have to say about this arc was i do like ichigo in this arc and how much conflict he experiences and we get to see him commit murder although i do wish this had repercussions on him. i feel like soul society’s intervention was unnecessary but thats just me. the fullbringer arc being centered around humans was a good idea, bringing the series back to its roots and i just wish we spent more developmemt with the humans before jumping back to soul society, like more time on the aftermath of the last arc. also this arc should have been the chad arc im dying on this hill.

tybw: wow! this was a trainwreck of an arc! i have. So Many issues with tybw and its where kubos writing weaknesses truly shine. the biggest issues are its pacing which is absolutely abhorrent and it takes up at least a third of the entire series (literally. tybw had 206 chapters out of 686 since tybw officially starts on 480). we had periods where the main cast dont show up for like. 50 chapters. the other biggest problem were the characters. why did kubo think it was a good idea to introduce 26+ characters. why. there is absolutely no time to develop them and while some may receive screentime the majority have no impact to the plot beyond their fights with the characters we actually care about. there is no reason for people to give a shit about them. i can barely remember their names, much less their backstories

and one of the bigger problems was the antagonists themselves. they have a motive and while i understand hatred towards soul society. yhwach’s motives were the worst out of all the villains. i cannot fathom what motivates him because it went fucking everywhere. did he have beef with ss? was he waging war out of self preservation? did he want to end death? like the narrative hints at all of these but it just feels like a mess of a character! i never liked yhwach to begin with since his very concept is awful (seriously? giving a previously thought group of people who experienced genocide a nazi motif? what the fuck kubo). hes a villain but theres no substance. his powers could have been cool but it was on the point of needing a deus ex machina to take him down.

and the fights are forgettable with the occasional good ones (shunsui v that one fuck, rukia v that other fuck) but there are some bad fights (askin v yoruichi, the quincy thor guy). there are some good moments, like all the bankai reveals, it adds more to the characters but it also causes so much jumping around in the plot and this is what happens when u have this many characters and some will be forgotten (so sorry chad). it sucks. some of the fights dragged on longer than necessary and it was just. so much. all of these issues really downgraded the arc and thats what made it the mess it was.

and a lot of the ideas brought in to tybw are criminally underused. ichigo being a quincy may have been wack but i did like the idea but it really only had some sparse moments like masaki and zangetsu development, creating a connection between ichigo and yhwach but that was really it. it was not like his hollow powers which coexisted with the plot and had huge moments and was just a constant presence. you could forget that ichigo was a quincy tbh and we needed more quincy moments. and the soul king was horribly underused because it did have set up from the arrancar arc, it was aizens entire goal! but kubo never really explores the ideas of the soul king and only in cfyow do we really get more info about it and thats no good because the soul king is a vital piece of bleach lore and worldbuilding.

anyways thats my two cents sorry this was rlly long

#ask #anon #sorry this was more of an essay #i just have a lot of feelings about this laundrey detergent show 😔 #ramble tag #long post #nazi mention #its brief but i hate the vandenreich so

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

#tony stark #stephen strange #rhodey #james rhodes #pepper potts #ironstrange #social media #twitter #homophobic language #sexist language #ableist language #internet #trolls #protective tony stark #tony stark has a heart #tony goes on a rampage #rowan writes #tony stark bingo 2019 #tsb19 #this is utter shit

[beer-and-breakdowns]

do all 150 !! :)

Thanks for this Anon, I needed something to do, lmaoo

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My ex, which was a LOOONG time ago, lol

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

I’d say I’m a bit of both really, if I get to know you, I’d say I’m super outgoing but with new people I tend to be a little shy, unless the person I’m meeting has a lot in common with me personality wise and interest wise.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Well, I think I’m going out with one of my best friends tonight so her I guess!:)  (But the way I interpret this question, I’m also very excited to see a bunch of bands in the coming year, BFMV, Parkway, Currents, Slayer, Wage War, it’s looking good B))

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I’d say so! :)

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeah, I think so, she’s super kind-hearted.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People with common ground with me.  Metalheads, laid-back people, fans of the same shit as me, etc.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Hahahahahahahanope.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My mum bc my parents get back from a holiday today!  But also, that one person thats pretty much always on my mind, lol, rip meeee

No, lol

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

One of mutuals!:)

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Directions of where to find me for someone picking me up from work, lmaoo, HOW EXCITING

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

NOT THIS QUESTION D:  This is gonna be hard, and I can almost guarantee it wont be the same when you read this, lol.

Architects - Downfall, Polaris - Lucid, Currents - Forget Me, Architects - Doomsday, Currents - Life//Lost

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah, kinda lol

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

I believe in luck, I think!  Not miracles tho, rip

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Well, it’s not over yet, but DOWNLOAD 2018 YEEEET!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yeah, why not

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

For sure!  I love believing all that crazy shit, its fun, and also very plausible!

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nah, lol

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I like baths, but haven’t had a proper bubble bath in years (NO, I’m not a smelly bitch that doesn’t wash, I shower everyday)

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I dont know them super well bc I moved house a couple of years ago but from what I can tell yeah, they’re really nice!

21. What are you bad habits?

Nail biting, mostly.  I’m shit with money too if that counts, lol

22. Where would you like to travel?

LITERALLY EVERYWHERE OMG.  But a US road trip is on my bucket list!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Nope

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Probably my nightly music/tumblr session.  It’s so relaxing and my music taste is the fuckin’ bomb.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Probably my legs tbh, rip

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll social media whilst my PC loads, lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Neither, but if I HAD to choose, darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My closest friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Nah, I don’t recall that anyway, rip

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Definitely!  Just, not for a little while

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Nope, wish it was tho (not for the pony tail, just want long hair, lol)

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Alexis Kaufman aaaaaaaaand Emily Kinney, maybe?

33. Spell your name with your chin.

oi9wen, went better than I thought, lol

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

HA no

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV 10000000000000%

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yup

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing really, lmaoo!  I do try to start a new conversation if I’m not feeling too awkward tho!

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Ummm, I know them irl, lol.  Cute as hell, blonde, blue eyes, funny, kind as fuck, an all-round sweetheart with the looks to match.  

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

HMV, lol

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I WANNA PLAY MUSIC FOR A LIVING but that shits hard so idk bc nothing else interest me the way music does:(  Maybe something with psychology and killers.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes, 100%.  I fully believe rehabilitation and reformation can work for everyone with the right tools.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either super tired or feeling sorry for myself, lmaoo

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yup, most of the time!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space, even tho I’m scared of heights so getting in the rocket would be an ISSUE.  But the ocean is fuckin’ spooky man, I ain’t goin’ down there :o

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Being awake, lmaoo.  I sleep for more hours than I should but I’m not one for staying in bed and once I’m up, I’m up.

46. What are you paranoid about?

Not having a stable life after Uni tbh, the real world terrifies me, lol help.  But also, and probably moreso never making any progress with my music and hopeful music career.

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yeeeeeee

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Nah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black, probably, I dont normally wear hoodies tbh :o

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Originally, I was gonna say no, but then I remembered someone that I’ll forever be jealous of, so yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My legs probably hahaha

53. Favourite makeup brand?

What’s makeup?

54. Favourite store?

HMV, again, lol

55. Favourite blog?

Probably either @lovelyfoxes, @meowsonmeows, @emilyharrisxvii and @strawberry-sarcasm

56. Favourite colour?

Black (Dont go telling me that shits a shade and not a colour bc I’ll still say black.)

57. Favourite food? 

INDIAN FOOD PLS

58. Last thing you ate?

Katsu chicken

59. First thing you ate this morning?

^^^ Katsu chicken (I woke up late, okay)

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Nah, not that I can remember lol

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

7328916312 times.  Being annoying :): :))::)::) (No)

63. Ever been in love?

Yup, rip

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Idk, I kissed a girl.  Sorry it was super long ago and I didn’t think much of it at the time, it sorta just happened, lol

65. Are you hungry right now?

Nah, I’m FULL boii

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

No, but some of my tumblr frands are my irl friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter 1000000%

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr 1000000000000%

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nope, havent in a while tbh

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Emily, Zac, Laura, Leo, Ethan

71. Craving something? What?

Attention.  Of a specific person.  YES PLS.

72. What colour are your towels?

White, black and grey.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Twooo

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Nope

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

7328131691

75. Favourite animal?

FOXES.  Or wolves.  Unless Dinosaurs count.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Grey

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla, man

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Salted Caramel

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black, lol

80. What colour pants?

V dark blue

81. Favourite tv show?

Atm, probablyyyyy The Walking Dead, Ray Donovan and WWE, lmaoo

82. Favourite movie?

The Domestics just recently took the spot over Pulp Fiction.  WATCH IT.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Only seen the first one, lel

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

21 Jump Street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Me

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Me (Prolly the turtle)

87. First person you talked to today?

My friend Leo

88. Last person you talked to today?

Who knows, probably my friend Emily

89. Name a person you hate?

Most modern “musicians”

90. Name a person you love?

Alexis Kaufman

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nope :)

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah, ya boii is mostly pacifist, I wont start shit

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Like, 1 pair, lol

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Prolly like 5 or 6?

95. Last movie you watched?

Looper

96. Favourite actress?

Hard to think atm, so probably off the top of my head Emily Blunt.

97. Favourite actor?

Mark Wahlberg or Johnny Depp

98. Do you tan a lot?

Hahahah, thats a massive nope

99. Have any pets?

I used to have a lil cat dude, but nah, not anymore

100. How are you feeling?

I’m goooood :)

101. Do you type fast?

Yeah, lmao

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yeah, lol

103. Can you spell well?

Yeah, mostly, I stumble when typing sometimes, but I can correct myself quickly and its usually just a mis-click

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah, kinda

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably, tbh

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Nah

108. What should you be doing?

Showering, oops

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Nah, not really! :)

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes yes and YES

111. Do you have trust issues?

Nope

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Honestly I think it was my friend Emily, lol (U remember if ur reading this, Sax is never a good idea)

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I didn’t really have one :o

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yup, been to a few different countries

115. Do you play the Wii?

Used to, lol

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah boiiiiii B)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

It’s pretty good!

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Ummmm yes

119. Favourite book?

Sorry internet, I’m not a massive reader 3  I don’t really have one :(

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Nah, used to be as a kid tho

121. Are you mean?

Nah, man

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No.  There’s probably a very VERY specific scenario brought on by many other specific actions within a relationship where it might, MAYBE, slightly be the smallest bit justified, but I don’t know what that would be off the top of my head and no one should break someone’s trust like that.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Nah, my shoes get dirty no matter where I go, lol

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yup

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah

126. Are you currently bored?

Nah, I love tumblr asks, dude

127. What makes you happy?

Music, friends and escapsim

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, I’ve come to terms with it now

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

Of course B)

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

I’d prolly see how it goes! :)  I certainly wouldn’t complain!

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

One of my mutuals!

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“No matter what it is we've facedIt's now part of usWe can overcome” - As I Lay Dying - Overcome

134. Can you count to one million?

I think? hahahah

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I had every single PS2 game ever created... kids, eh?

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed 1000000%

137. How tall are you?

about 5′11″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight hair on me, doesn’t make a difference on others B)

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Blonde (but Brunette is gorgeous too)

140. Summer or Winter?

Summer (But Christmas time is GREAT)

141. Night or Day?

Night, mostly!

142. Favourite month?

October, maybe?  Either than or July, idk

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark B)

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

So far, yeah! :)

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars 100000000%

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“The best thing you can do is follow your dreams“ - James Owen Sullivan (The Rev)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yup, 100%!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

There isn’t one! :(

THANKS ANON!