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#ignorance is bliss frfr
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I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...
#spiteful angry a little happy and proud judgemental upset sad mourning#the list can go on#its been a day#my thoughts#mom went to detox today and will be in recovery for a month#i already feel lighter with her gone#but conflicted because i wasn't there for her#but i couldn't be because she wouldn't let me#and genuinely i didnt want to be because she was simultaneously never there for me#but shes done more for me than i ever could've asked in some ways#but i also never asked to be born wish i was never born and feel like ive never belonged here#like i was meant to be aborted but was born instead#and yet despite it all I'm angry at the world for the cards she was dealt#for the way she was treated as a child#and the way no one was there for her and moved on pretending like all was fine#(some generational trauma she picked up and carried over)#upset at her siblings and friends for never being there for her like she needed (but i also understand that she pushed everyone away and im#In the same boat as them in that sense#but also shes my mother and im her child and shes never been there's for me so how could i possibly know how to be there for her#i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier#so much easier#ignorance is bliss frfr#part of me is also proud of her for finally doing this#scared that she might get mistreated at the facility furthering her trauma scared of her relapsing and what that will look like#wanting to be a support fixture for her when she comes back at the end of the month but realistically knowing i cant#spiteful because where is her support system right now? everyone has failed her#spent years enabling and ignoring her#i hope she has a support system or can curate one because it cant be me#it just cant#mother wound
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poly-mechanisms · 1 year
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shoutout to last year me that had no idea what nov 5th was or why it was important
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firstdivisiongirl · 1 month
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OH MY GAH HIIII !! I SAW THAT YOU DO MATCHUPS SO I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD A REQ FOR THAT BUT W TOKREV CHARACTERS ??? :DDDD i dont mind anyone tbh so dw abt choosing :33
ok i'll just drop some background info abt myself here :33
i'm aromantic + nonbinary, i am an entp 7w6 and i'm a pisces !! i like to draw, listen to music (either metal or just mainstream music i listen to whatever atp) and dance in my freetime !! :3
based on my personality ::
my friends tend to tell me that i'm the embodiment of the quote "dont judge a book by its' cover" cuz on the outside i act like a full on metalhead and really passive aggressive but at home i sleep next to a whole tower of plushies 💀🙏 and i collect stickers of silly little cats and otters (not my fault that they're so cute oml) i'm usually the clown of the group !! i tend to be hyperactive but my emotions change a lot- one second talking to me is like trying to get a toddler to pay attention to your teacher and the other is like trying not to get bitten by a rabid dog (my friend's words not mine). i tend to be a loud mouth srry . . . i do try to be quiet if necessary but if i get excited when talking i am a walking speaker . . . i get rlly excited if my favorite things are mentioned ?! like i would get rlly happy, smiley and would talk about it until i forget to breathe !! i like to consume horror media ?? idk if i can say that without sounding like an edgelord sobsob im sorry . . . i just love consuming those types of media (as a former kid w unsupervised access to the internet-) and i tend to ramble abt them along w other philosophical topics !! i like to discuss abt meaning of life, whether there are other universes, abt the capabilities of the human mind, etc. they're just so interesting!!! :] i guess im proud to say that my best trait is my humor 😋 maybe im overconfident abt this one cuz i just have pretty dumb sense of humor if im being honest frfr i tend to say things out of context . . . i like terrorizing my friends by saying the most outrageous things and overexaggerating them for the fun of it :333 though sometimes i kinda mean what i say
for my ideal partner ::
i'd say i would like someone who's fun to be around but at the same time they gotta be interesting for me to find them fun . . . like they gonna have smth to them that makes me wanna observe them like they're a lab rat being experimented on and being put under observation :33 ppl like that make me wanna see whats inside them and how they see the world around them !! i just love those kinds of ppl aaaaa ik im overdramatic for this one but like . . . i need someone who can handle me- as in my emotions and sometimes my way of loving . . . cuz if i did love someone, i would obsess over them and would dream of dying w them out of euphoria cuz being w my partner is the only thing that keeps me alive and human 😞 i wanna feel genuine happiness and pure bliss w my partner so thats why after that i think we should die together, that way we both know that finally we lived our life to the fullest (in my pov, 'the fullest' means you finally reach the climax of ur happiness/u live to the moment where you're the happiest you've ever been) (idk if that makes sense but that has always been my fantasy LAWD IM RAMBLING) need someone whos as crazy as i am :333 if he aint insane i dont want him fr i need to make him worse /j
i think thats all abt me :333 pls take ur time and make sure to put urself first btw !! aside from that, its ok if you ignore this one cuz at the end of the day its up to u <333 have a wonderful day/night mwah you're super cool
Hello! Of course you can have a matchup. Thank you for the kindness. I would like to warn you that I picked a somewhat controversial character. I hope you like it!
You Got...
Tetta Kisaki!!!
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If boy can handle the chaos the is Shuji Hanma, he can handle you!
You wanted crazy...
Would love to see you smile when you get super excited about something! His favorite thing is to see the person he loves happy.
He is really really smart. So you would have very intellectual and philosophical discussions.
Would love that you aren't all you seem. Because he is the same way. You two can be badasses when out, but totally different when it is just the two of you (and Hanma sometimes when he is being Hanma and not leaving you all alone.)
Movie date nights. He'd let you pick it. If you're happy, he's happy.
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iamwinklebottom · 1 year
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You know when you make a quick decision then wanna back out? That’s how I feel right now lmaoo. 
I’m very adept with psychedelic experiences, past life regressions, and astral traveling. My gifts are amazing, but knowing and feeling so much can get heavy. With that being said, I won’t choose ignorance just so I can be in false bliss. 
Someone was mad at me once. They said they didn’t know loving themselves would be so hard and if I’d told them "they’d see life for what it was" they would of never started their journey. 
An extraterrestrial/time travel experience stopped me from committing suicide at age 14. It also stopped my atheism. 
I’m very grateful for my gifts, yes… but having your senses so high is a bit challenging when the planet you live on is weeping. 
Let’s keep it a stack. I’ve grown to love being here. There’s so many amazing things and joys that I’m grateful for. Many more will indeed come, but frfr I hate being here on Earth… butttt still… I asked to be here. 
If you’re reading this, yo ass asked to be here too unless you’ve been forced to come back to clear karma and succeed in failed missions. 
So many low vibrations on one planet! I feel what the Earth feels sometimes! Earth is really alive. I’m not just talking about trees and grass. I’m talking about alive, alive. 
Since I juice fasted, the rape and ravaging of this planet synced up with with mysticism wayyy more; it hurts way harder than when I usually feel it. 
I ain even from here ✨, but I promised.
Please do yo due-diligences; evolve, cleanse your bloodlines, and keep birthing higher level beings. 
I’m ready to go the fuck home! 
The biowarfare and energy harvesting going on triggered my feelings about Earth much much deeper this time. It led to this song - raw, emotional vocals. 
Not my favorite at all, but my spirits put they foot on my throat and made me release this.
I feel like this all the time… empathetic and sympathetic with a being existing, Earth. 
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h20falls · 10 years
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