#it just cant

[why-fucking-bother-anymore]

I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...

#spiteful angry a little happy and proud judgemental upset sad mourning #the list can go on #its been a day #my thoughts #mom went to detox today and will be in recovery for a month #i already feel lighter with her gone #but conflicted because i wasn't there for her #but i couldn't be because she wouldn't let me #and genuinely i didnt want to be because she was simultaneously never there for me #but shes done more for me than i ever could've asked in some ways #but i also never asked to be born wish i was never born and feel like ive never belonged here #like i was meant to be aborted but was born instead #and yet despite it all I'm angry at the world for the cards she was dealt #for the way she was treated as a child #and the way no one was there for her and moved on pretending like all was fine #(some generational trauma she picked up and carried over) #upset at her siblings and friends for never being there for her like she needed (but i also understand that she pushed everyone away and im #In the same boat as them in that sense #but also shes my mother and im her child and shes never been there's for me so how could i possibly know how to be there for her #i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier #so much easier #ignorance is bliss frfr #part of me is also proud of her for finally doing this #scared that she might get mistreated at the facility furthering her trauma scared of her relapsing and what that will look like #wanting to be a support fixture for her when she comes back at the end of the month but realistically knowing i cant #spiteful because where is her support system right now? everyone has failed her #spent years enabling and ignoring her #i hope she has a support system or can curate one because it cant be me #it just cant #mother wound

[paladinsbrainrot]

thought vol 2 was gonna destroy me and make me deactivate my account but NOPE IM HERE STILL CERTAIN BYLER IS ENDGAME!!

#the amount of evidence is just... #it CANT be a queerbait #it just cant #anyways #byler #ally talks

[fuckyeah-dragrace]

bros I have had this doc open ALL DAY and the words are not wording.

#maybe this is where i give up? #maybe this is where I stop writing #I JUST WANNA WRITE THE REUNION! #guys... my brain simply cant #it just cant

[qrowpilled]

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

#shush jesse #this post abt astarion #hes just so painfully on brand for me #i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane #but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers #so like.....secondhand blorbo right now

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

[whaledocboi]

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

#not to mention ripping off and plagirazing real artists hard work of course #which is a whole other conversation #i cant feel the same love and adoration for whatever the slop machine produces #it will never be the same #im just really tired #anti ai #anti ai art

[epicsauce]

text conversation from my dream that i desperately wish was real

#its 4m this is just scribbles but i hadddd to jot it down before i forgot #0600 #i cant get he's vagina? out of my head

[drakenathan]

#polls #remaking bc i forgot to change to 1week. #but yeah us latinos smelling so damn good while showering everyday while some other places.....like.....ew #just some perfume.over their sweaty ass...or not even that...cant relate. #brasil tag #t.txt

[ot3]

i dont like the idea that kids these days are doing their fandom rps with ai chatbots. that's how you're supposed to make lifelong friends as a weird really online teen.

#i was never really an rper of any kind it just did not do it for me #im like im sorry actually i cant do this collaboratively i need to be controlling all of the little dolls myself. #however homestuck rp deck epicmafia. now that was another story

[jell-o101]

I'm ignoring the part of the internet who is going "Oh no" at this.

BUT OMG BOWSER YOU HOPELESS ROMANTIC. YOU LOVE PEACH NO MATTER WHAT SHE TURNS INTO BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bowser really is the type to love you if you became a worm lol

#Super Mario Bros Wonder #SMBW #Princess Peach #Elephant Peach #Bowser #gosh what a simp #its kinda lovely tho #he doesnt really go for her looks #he just likes her for HER ya know #too bad he cant take no for an answer

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind

#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up #and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due. #you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal. #or really. you pretend to wonder #because you know the reason you cant work like normal #you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough #mine #academia #covid mention

[hundredsofsmallbirds]

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

#weird horse.exe #okay to reblog #theres so many nice cool optionssss cant i just burrow. please let me burrow #big notes

[indigonite]

There’s a lot you can learn about it, trust me

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic x shadow generations #sega trying to clean the sonic x shadow search of ship art #but just ended up validating all the sonadow shippers out there by naming a game after them #cant wait to play sonadow on my ps4 once it comes out #indigoniteart

[lettuccine]

i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this

inspired by this

based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter

#help i cant stop unintentionally butchifying falin #im not sorry but #i just want you guys to know that it's unintentional #or is it??? #wet hair makes her look more masc okay i cant help it #farcille #falin touden #marcille donato #dungeon meshi

[corviiids]

my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog

#rookposting #the little 'oh!' followed by a big grin is now my highlight in every interaction i have with a stranger #you can always spot the things people hope will be noticed and you have no idea how happy it makes people when it gets noticed #i find it's always better to compliment things they did deliberately vs complimenting stuff like their voice or their face or other things #that are inherent or they cant change because that can make people uncomfortable for one thing to hear that from a stranger #but it's also just less meaningful imo because they didnt do that on purpose

[fairuzfan]

#i just cant take it anymore #palestine