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pbnmj · 9 months

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Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))

i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)

this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"

eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)

(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)

the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run

noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)

again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!

i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.

okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL

veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that

#this kind of turns into meta . sort of . sorry about that #and i know some people take those jokes noir makes as like. just very blunt observations of what is happening #i personally believe they are jokes that aren't landing. or just him being a bit annoying <3 i love him for this #i can talk forever and forever about movie noir. its how i got into him in the first place . picked me up and swept me away #and now i overthink and read too much into his like. 6 mins of screentime #also the rich beautiful itsv noir backstory that exists only in my mind..... which is mostly the same #just with small tweaks and adjustments. its MY SIDE CHARACTER and I GET TO CHOOSE THE HCS #eg. the insane 'peter quits working at the bugle very annoyingly for everyone involved before becoming a PI' like this shit just #swirls in my brain. forever and ever.#noir #answered #edit: sorry im just realising this is boiling down to itsv noir is freshly out of his 20s #therefore experiencing post 20s clarity and is not yet going through a peter b-like midlife crisis #and is not a teenager anymore and doesn't have to battle puberty as well as supervillians #so he's somehow doing a little better than the rest of them and able to pass on funny little tips and lifehacks

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anteroom-of-death · 3 months

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Teacher's Pet part 7

Synopsis: The first time.

A/n: I'm touch starved. And illiterate. Please enjoy! I cried 3 times writing this. Also, to my mutuals, I love you. To my readers, I love you. To Peter Capaldi, Sir??? Please??? One chance! To the 12th doctor, come home the kids miss you...

Oh, her face. The nervous look was delicious. The way she was trying to throw her weight around. The way she was making these cords of rationalization and connections.

His little doe-eyed human. A fawn. Maybe he’d call her that…

The way that she came undone. Of course, he felt her heart rate accelerating. Dangerously close to deafening. Her pupils dilated and sharpened, the little hitch her breathing took.

He felt himself give in to the animal. A byproduct of his exposure to Earthlings. His body adjusted and he felt all too eager to feel like an ape. Act like an ape. Not a species that rose above physical reproduction and it’d many impulses. Missy was right. These Earth girls were dangerous.

This was a very coordinated dance he was playing. Give her a bit of a taste of the real grandeur. Something in both mind and body so intimate.

She wasn’t wrong, as she said he was playing God. Perceptive. Very. He liked that about her, saw things from a side of the map others didn’t, even if she went in an atypical way.

He crowded himself in her brain in such a miniscule way as he closed in on her. Ending the space between them.

But he wasn’t going to leap until she gave him a clear sign of consent. He wasn’t a monster, of course. Just a man. A man with needs at the end of the day.

“Maybe.” She shivered. Getting further under his spell.

“Maybe isn’t good enough.” He pushed on her further. Getting closer.

He saw her give up and in.

There was his cue! He gripped the chair, letting his hands to brush onto hers.

She let her head shake in affirmation.

Game over. He won.

He went in, crushing her lips with a biting kiss. Cutting deeply between her breaths. He removed one hand from his grasp on the chair and tenderly grasped the angle of her face between it. Fully feral, taking what he was owed.

He was watching her eyes and saw the startled look fading. Something that spoke against her dignity and guard. It was real, real and he invoked it in her! A victory! Clear and concise!

He convinced himself to pull himself off of her. Give her the option of comfort.

“Now darling…” He muttered, petting her hair. “I can take you here on this chair. Or the floor.”

Her famous thinking and asymmetrical wit fired back.

“Make it a cliché. Fuck me on the desk.” She heaved. Collecting herself before leading herself there.

“Your wish is my command.”

She already was starting to remove her clothes. Already well-trained. He wouldn’t have to break her in as a companion. Maybe she wouldn’t be fate to a dark tragedy if he took her off to the stars.

He shook himself of those tragic thoughts.

He’d keep her here on Earth. His little safe secret. His to keep, his to cherish. To own. Away from covetous eyes or unforeseen consequences.

Maybe one day he’d introduce Missy to her. Trot her out. Have her behold his wares. His reward.

The possibilities were endless.

Back in the present moment, however. He had a beautiful woman, wet and ready on his desk.

He turned the photo of Susan around and put it face down.

His cock was hardening.

He quickly undid his trousers and produced a condom from his back pocket. He valued her illusions of safety. He doubted that he’d impregnate or infect her. But she’d probably thank him for the consideration.

He grasped the nape of her neck, curling a fistful of her hair in his grasp. Inhaling the scent, perfume, sweat, her pheromones and a trace of tobacco and the outdoors. An ode to her environments. He took and pulled her forward and lain flat against the surfaces.

Popping kisses across her breasts and caressing her throat with his lips and practically lapping up the beginning of a moan coming from her mouth.

His other hand got busy, she had to be ready for him. He could give her that. A bit of pleasure before he properly entered her. A long finger snaked it’s way to her pussy.

He could be different. He was. A trillion times better. No human man could outdo him.

He slowly stroked her clit with his thumb as he parted her folds. Delicate work. Like rewiring the TARDIS or building a device to track and contain shadow creatures from the 12th dimension. Miniscule little circles speeding up on the throbbing little head. Her entire cunt was slick. Made the entry with his middle finger deft into the tight center.

She was very muscular down there. It was a nice, tight vice grip. Would be great to feel with his twitching cock. His balls were aching…

His little fawn was starting to relax her grip on the desk, she leaned back like a very good girl and her legs sprawled open further. Her back arched up and her breathing hitched a bit more again. Her head cocked to the side and she watched him, her hands playing with themselves as they rest on her stomach.

“Show me some courage.” He goaded, slipping another finger inside. “You’ve been wanting this. I’ve seen you. I’ve noticed how you can’t stop watching me. Wanting me. Poor (y/n), can’t focus on her studies because of clever old me.”

He worked her deeper, as she rushed out a caustic, “Fuck you.” She clenched herself around his fingers. “Fuck you for making me want you!” She tried to accuse as she whimpered along.

“There’s a doll.” He said before releasing his grasp on her cunt. He could take that response.

He leaned forward and kissed her as he put on the condom. She grasped his hair and replied wordlessly, ferociously. Her breath tasted of her freshly consumed hot chocolate, old mint and honey tea, a cigarette and some mix of dental products. There was revelation and acceptance in her eyes and screaming loudly from her mind.

He wondered if, with the way she was broadcasting, if anyone sensitive enough to these frequencies in the next solar system over was picking it up.

Laying an arm across her chest and one braced on the desk. It was time.

He slowly thrust into her. A nice, even motion. Working slowly and evenly, he made sure that he was careful to not cause any pain. He’d forgotten a very important aspect of sex with humans, they needed lubrication to keep it nice and more than pleasurable. He hoped what little came on the condom already and how soaked she was would keep things feeling nice for her. He was spoken for.

He leaned down, putting the full weight of his body on her and went a little harder and a little faster. Whispering in her praise about what a good and patient human she was. That she was so smart and clever. A good student. And a new bright star in his personal cosmos.

His little pet fawn rocked her hips up, trying to match his pace in synchronization.

Eventually matching his.

It was a delight! He resisted the urge to go faster, even though time was running out. He didn’t exactly hang a sock on the door. Someone was bound to walk in. But he let himself luxuriate in the experience of his flesh on hers.

(Y/n) put her hands on his shoulders and brought herself up around, bucking up and trying to get herself to go faster. A hazy, lost clouded her face. But her jaw was determined.

What else could he do but oblige? He sped up, grunting. He would finish them both up.

He felt himself fluster and her legs kick up around his body.

An electric shot of pleasure rocked through his body and arched out from him, he could feel a monumental shudder come as he orgasmed. The tips of his fingers felt numb and his hearts beat alight in his chest- echoed by the singular heart in hers. All three pounding as he cupped her and brought her to a sitting position, pulling himself out of her.

He purred, as he pulled the used condom off his shaft. A gentle lob into the bin dealt with that.

“Are you still needy, darling? Want me to Doctor it?” He chuckled internally at his little joke.

“Yes, please, Professor.” She cried out. Clearly not finished. He reminded himself to correct her at another time and inform her of his true Chosen Name. But for now she needed to cum. He could do that for her.

He got on both knees and brushed her swollen, raw eager cunt.

He was like a man on death row, and his last meal was served.

He kissed her inner thighs and wrapped an arm around her thighs. He kissed her folds and gave a little suck and her knees automatically buckled towards his head. Her hands playfully combing through his hair. He continued to kiss and nibble and lick. Deeper and harder. More attention to her clit…

Her moans and grunts turned to suppressed screams. She was thrashing around his desk beautifully.

“Oh, I’m so close!” She confessed after a particularly hard to hold in shout.

He rewarded her with her orgasm.

Static electricity passed between then it seemed. A connecting current. Good, he thought, bonding.

Somehow, they ended up on the floor in front of his desk and she was wrapped in her jacket and his hoodie was laid on top of her legs. His pants were still pulled down to his shoes.

She spoke first.

It was shaky and her stammer was back.

“I don’t want to seem rude…but I don’t want to…not…do this again. And don’t think I did this for…wrong reasons. Please… don’t give me special treatment…because I let you hit…I never wanted this to happen…or had any ulterior motives. I really liked you. From the first class I had with you…I…yeah.” She seemingly couldn’t finish the sentence. She started to bring her hand up to rip off a finger nail.

The Doctor stopped her, bringing her hand down and resting it on her lap, his firmly on top.

“Yeah. Me too. I don’t take lovers anymore. I don’t need a distraction, but you? Wandered into my classroom like a fawn separated from its mother too early. A mystery. And of course you aren’t. I’ve seen your ethics. You may have some push and pull. But you’re still not a cheat. You would have found other ways to get ahead if you were…”

“Yeah.” She stared at the carpet.

“You’ll get special treatment because you’re special.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t I whatsapp you? We can discuss this further. I have a class to teach soon. And you have your life.”

The two cleaned up, dressed up, swapped numbers and the Doctor kissed her hand gingerly.

He had to think.

“Don’t be lasagne.” He said. Shaking his head at a memory.

“Okay…I won’t.” (Y/n) shot him a puzzled look.

“And please, (y/n) take the hot chocolate.”

She reached down and took it before scurrying out.

Putting the picture of Susan back in place, he smiled at the guitar on the wall…

Lots to plot, more to do.

She might be perfect yet!

#personal #doctor who #doctor who fanfiction #self insert #i wrote this #12th doctor #12th doctor x reader #12th doctor x you #you x 12th doctor #reader x 12th doctor #im in my midlife crisis era #lol #power thru #no beta we die like men

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