#im moving out tmrw

[spnkakashi]

.

#ok me and my bf officially broke up #im moving out tmrw #we will spend tonight together #we both keep crying its not ok #he went to eat toda #y #he ate rice i made #and he cried #and then i cried #and im currently at work trying not to cry #and i finish in 2.5h #at 2am #then i will see him #probably for the last time hahaha #funny #mine #personal

[groovyace]

Can't believe i went thru all these trials and tribulations to become an academic weapon only for a cross-contaminated noodle to end my career for over a week. Love you gluten 😍😍😍

#if any of my followers are celiac.. #im so sorry brothers #can we please join hands in a circle #my tummy hurts and i could use the emotional support #i have a test in my PHYSICAL THEATRE class tmrw and i havent moved in days #ITS ALL GONNA BE OK GUYS #if anyone reblogs this.. pls give tips to recover from a glutening i beg #help a brother out #celiac #celiac disease #luring yall into my trap with gluten free breadcrumbs like PSPSPSPPSSS

[tele-mesmerism]

landlord system so fucked up and hellish. it should be SO common and normal for tenants to be able to decide on and judge landlords by reviews and talking w current/prev tenants... we put so much trust and power in these fuckers hands and just have to hope theyll be decent people. theres so many laws and reqs that THEY know and you just have to trust LANDLORDS to be decent and respectful to you (ha.) and not violate your rights

#thinking abt how fucked my landlords been to my neighbor that. luckily she knows her rights. #im getting the fuck outta here tmrw!! but im worried for her and will continue to be til she moves out #he literally made up 2 rental agreement infractions against her just so he cand be like. youre on your last strike.

[soldier-poet-king]

I love my Nonna dearly but I also just got my first real "here's how you should find a man" advice so truly 2023 IS my Charlotte Lucas year

To be fair, I'll give them credit, this is one of the first times my family has pulled this shit on me. I suppose my "I'm too busy focusing on school" excuse that I used through all 8 years of undergrad and grad school doesn't really work now that I've been working full-time for a year. And she also didn't bring it up in front of everyone or out of the blue, it came up because we had been discussing how insane my motherhas been about babies lately and my Nonna said "oh it's BC she's waiting for grandkids"

And like??? Just because my mother got married and had kids by my age (which may have been the right decision for her, this isn't judging even if I think her life went to shit bc of it) doesn't mean it's the right decision for ME

In fact, it is the ABSOLUTE WRONG decision for me. Theres a whole long list of reasons why I'm not getting married + or having children, including but not limited to: the trauma of my parents marriage and my childhood, my own ongoing health stuff, the whole religious queer anxiety guilt complex I've got going, the fact that if I were to get pregnant the resulting mental health crisis and dysphoria would undoubtedly make me *** y'know not soemthing that is frequently a source of nightmares for me or anything, my inability to take care of myself let alone CHILDREN, and the anxiety of raising children religious when I don't even know wtf is going on with me, CHILDREN??? IN THIS ECONOMY????

Ofc I can't exactly say any of this to my Nonna who, while incredibly sweet and loving and Good, is also like. Not at all exposed to these concepts and would probably freak out if I was like hello yes I am a big fat queer and I rlly hate the concept of gender and societal ideas of womanhood :) it also doesn't help that rlly the only single, middle aged woman my Nonna knows is this lady who works at the church who is DEFINITELY a badly closeted lesbian but also she's super fuckin mean and condescending and no one likes her BC she's a bitch, on top of the whole being a badly closeted lesbian in a conservative heteronormative religious environment

Like even IF I were to get licitly Catholic married to a man. You wanna find one for me??? My Nonna was like "go to church more to find a man" HELLO??? WHERE??I GO TO MASS EVERY WEEK?? Every religious man I know irl is a radtrad women can't wear pants type or is a manchild. Even if I COULD find a normal man, he'd have to get real cool about some stuff real quick. In that forever dilemma of too leftist queer for the religious and too religious for the leftist queers. (Obvs your partner doesn't have to be your duplicate but I'm like. Generally being on the same page. The same BALLPARK. is probably conducive to having a healthy relationship, y'know?)

Besides a significant part of my having 0 social life is because I am living in my parents basement which is in a shitty not-a-suburb of mostly immigrant families with youngish kids or super old folks from when the neighborhood was built, so it's poor and run down but also super fuckin far from anything To Do, so it's the WORST of both worlds of urban sprawl. And I have no car. And I already spend 2.5 hrs a day commuting for work. And I'm chronically tired. And joining a fencing club or taking art class or whatever costs MONEY y'know the thing I'm trying to SAVE by living in this hell place???? She literally said in the same convo "live here as long as possible to save money" like??? YOU CANT HAVE UR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO as long as I'm living here I'm NOT going out and meeting ppl BC there is literally Nowhere To Go. Big box stores like Walmart? Yet another strip mall? The highway??? THIS IS SOULLESS HELL of neither nature NOR accessible city amenities

And anyway, I would rather be in a long term marriage for tax benefits relationship anyway. Not platonic, not romantic, but a secret third thing (jk but also serious). Like. Mutual devotion that blurs the lines and transcends labels. It could be completely chaste. It could not be. It's not a dealbreaker really. It's about trust and devotion and companionship and love. But also I'm insane and I KNOW how insane and obsessive I sound, and society prioritizes nuclear family relationships and not the weird ass shit I crave, and I feel too much too fast and would ruin any relationship I had even if I WERE to somehow find someone who prioritizes those things too

So like. It's fine. Most days (not all ofc, but I'm trying) I'm okay with this and being on my own and learning to cultivate my own peace and Goodness and I know who I am and what I believe and what I trust to be Good and I'm working toward that and I'm not sacrificing it for anything. But also. Can you give a bitch a break. Please. I'm so fkin tired

#franposting #my bday isnt even til JUNE #im going to bitch anyway #im genuinely really upset but part of that is bc my headache has come back #and its worse than ever #i might cry but my head already hurts too much #i got really good news at work and only the men in my family made a big deal #the women were just. meh. and ofc none of them have careers so why should ot be important to me? #as the only granddaughter ofc :)))) #i am going. to crawl into bed. hair washed. lavender candle on. #do a lil meal planning. and then read or maybe just sleep. #tmrws goals after church are gym and grocery shopping before dnd #have to make my body hurt so much i cant think again #ofc bro 1 has claimed the car. so maybe i cant go #god. gos. i fuckin need to get out of here #but i literally cannot afford even studio apt rent in the city #and moving to one of the boroughs doesnt gwt me any closer to anything esp without a car #literally. just like. fuckin kill me #or find me a decently paid not soul killing job in a smaller city or even a town #where i could have a garden #or a porch swing. sit in. the sunlight

[baeshijima]

holy fuck i forgot how emotional the soulmate!blade fic is until i read through the doc and now im crying

#sophie talks : as fate would have it #GOD DAMMIT IVE JUST REKINDLED MY LOVE FOR THE WIP BUT I NEED TO DO MY ASSIGNMENTSKJHDF #crying time is not real theres not enough of it why does it pass so quickly maybe im just a social experiment maybe im not real maybljgl #i need to at least do SOME of the assignment... its nearly 1 am and i have to lessen tmrws load 😔 #fuck but the soulmate!blade and also the actor!blade wips.... oh no..... #maybe after i finish everything bc the soulmate!blade fic is at 3.7k words and most basically all the scenes are planned out #hmm maybe when i finish the veritas fic bc i wanna try and release it around his banner time #unless i finish the soulmate!blade fic before then...? #hm. oh well. i need to get a move on with my assignments before i start thinking of my wips nvm 🧍‍♀️

[kentopedia]

good morning !! i hope you all start monday off well! i’ve got another busy week ahead of me ๐·°(⋟﹏⋞)°·๐

#i have a presentation tmrw & a big exam thurs im kind of stressed about #and we also have a consulting project for a big company but its been a complete mess #the professor keeps moving groups and clients around & its so confusing who's doing what :( #so we have to figure that out this week #im tired already ♡ #but i hope you guys have a good monday ahh !!! ily all sm :( #thanks for putting up with my silly school complaints HSIWHWJ

[squishious]

list of my grievances in the tags bc this has been the most miserable week ever and the only person i could conceivably complain to is also going through it

#starting strong with at least 2 midterms/papers due every fucking day except monday #moving on to daylight savings happening when i am already sleep deprived as fuck #and then university wide power and internet outage <3 #also general malaise and sad vy the time we reach halfway through the week #fucking evil [redacted] midterm #where i study my ass of and flop so bad #in a truly unifixable way i fear #was supposed to be my fun class to goddammit #and its so fucking windy today which i actually hate #gale wind warnibg = cannot sit outside in the sun and forget abt wverything #THEN #i go to cafe for a pick me up and fi ish bibliography #and the internet will not connect no matter what i do #AND #friend is coming to visit me tmrw but its actually just to pic up an ikon pass and she isnt even gonna hang out for a bit #no fault of her own but #its annyoninh on top of all this :( #genuinly the grade thibg is fucking with me so much i had to have done TERRIBLY to go from a 100 to what i have noe #and i thought i did bad but like. not thag bad #anyways i simply want to curl up into a ball and ignore everything for a couple days but ! i cannot #bc paper due tonight and exam tmrw and then saturday i have to go see my brothers performance which #notmally would be rlly fun #but after this week i want to dissapear for a day #and then sunday rehearsal #and then wednesday midtemr again ! fuck me !! #and then friday quiz but at least its onlinr #and then stayrday holi then break which like fun but also means going home #and im already miserable #so not twlling anyone abt grade flop And generally being home = ultra misesable???? #squish speaks

[moreclaypigeons]

I am soooo bad at transitional times of life. High school graduation ? More like, fuck,

#sierra speaks #half my friends are moving away for college... #and im working all summer #and some of my teachers are leaving the school not that I'll be there anymore #leaving behind juniors who I'll miss #not knowing what yearbooks gonna do... #not getting to do as much w art club as i wanted to #its like high school is hell and it feels like it lasts forever but suddenly its just gone and there wasnt enough time #i know i know theres life after it yeah #but i... #it's still a change and its sad #my best friends family is moving out of state too #shes coming back and will live in dorms nearby me but still it's... #and i have to learn to drive... #even though i dont want toooooooo #like i do cause im a big kid now but like #no one prepared me for the emotional damage that growing up was gonna do and i havent even like done the risky heartbreak shit #anyways thats ur daily dose of sierra questioning life #maybe tmrw I'll journal instead of writing in the tags of mt ow posts NFJSFBDJ

[girlwithfish]

ugh moving is soo much work

#have to unload the uhaul tmrw NOT HAPPY #my back is killing me too #at least its just moving stuff #i was getting soo overwhelmed w just like clutter and nog knowing where to put stuff when i was packing shit up #it took us 2 hrs to pack and move eberything #and now all my shits gonna get dusty ans gross sitting in the garage for however long #at least i have my clothes n cds #its just a lot #and i wanna clean out the room in my parents house cuz its just shit i left behijd when i was 17-18 #Not rly cleaned out just stuff i dont need or have use for anymore #So its like even more clutter #so that i can put my actual stuff in my room ig idk #SO MUCH!!!! #Im just gonna throw shit in bags and donate it or maybe try to #sell some books or clothes that might be worth smth but likely not #i have a lott of ya and childrens books i dont need or want anymore #🫡 Things overwhelm nme #me #its why moving js my worst nightmare lol

[oatbugs]

the way my heart sank . lol

#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious #but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her #and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree #so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call #and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated #and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad #and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so #confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not #want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should #but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐 #which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening... #i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same #instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and #work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad. #like. im Afraid. #to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow #idk what else i can do #i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first. #shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk #i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me #like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w #the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at #me for trying to help . idk #UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me

[yuukimiyas]

ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧ happy new years my loves!! i am so so SO beyond grateful to have had the pleasure of growing my lil city & was able to meet all of you!! whether we interact only briefly or on the daily just know i appreciate & adore every single one of you more than words can possibly describe ໒꒰ྀིㅅ´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა i wouldn’t be half the person i am if it weren’t for you guys <33 & im so proud to say that i have made some amazing forever friends (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⁾⁾⁾ ik this yr wasn’t easy & it def had its struggles but everyday you continued to show up & be your v best self & i am so proud of you <33 i just know you’re going to continue to do even MORE amazing things!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ 2024 is our yr!! <33 i am kissin your noses so gently as the ball drops!! mwah!!

#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals! #okay i’m ab to get a lil soft ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ‎꒱ྀིა im feelin WEEPY!!! #but i remember tellin my bestie that i wanted to rlly get back into tumblr again & im so glad i did bc i got to meet all of YOU!! #i’ve done a lot of healing in these past yrs + made rlly stupid mistakes + tried everyday to better from them & it was HARD & i learned SM #after growing & coming to terms w my past & moving toward my future i’ve happy to say i am the happiest i’ve ever been <3 #& no matter what i was feeling if it was a particularly hard brain day you guys never stopped treating me like i was human <3 #& for that i truly thank you ໒꒰ྀི ´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა i lost a lot but im determined to get it back & then some!! bc im not my mistakes!! #i’m what i’ve learned from them!! & i am only continuing to be my best self every single day!! #i just hope you guys know you mean the world to me ໒꒰ྀི ∩´﹏`∩ ꒱ྀིა & idk what i’d do w/out my fave neighbors & city pals!! <33 #i can’t wait to make so many more memories w you all in the new yr!! ᜊ꒰ ᜊ ´ ˘꒱ ੭♡ cheers to us bbys!! i just know its gonna be amazing!! <3 #smoochin you all on midnight tonight + tmrw & every midnight after that <33 i love you all endlessly ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

[onepiexe]

the first best thing abt having a desk again is getting to sit down and listen to music. the second best thing is redecorating.

#logbook #the 2nd will come l8ter butttttt anyways hiiiii whew its been awhile. . .so much has happened so much to share. .so much i probably wont but #i am alive and have been mostly well (aside from cqtching covid which im. finally recovered from 😭) #just listening to hiromi's new album and vibing atm. i go back to work tmrw for the first time in a week. #also going to a work gala tmrw after shift. .man idk i dont have an outfit 😭 my gf just has to decide btwn dresses #ive got some nice green slacks but just floral button ups sigh. i could make it work ig. #it'll be fine. ummm yeah. im moving out of my rents and i have 2 partners and i had covid and um. hm. yeah other stuff but those r the bigs. #hope everybody has been doing alright<33

[lorelune]

today has tested me :'''^)

#lore loops #had some buds over for my birthday and the vibes were so Off #earlier i went to my new place to clean a few things up and turns out the apartment is like Relatively filthy and i gotta shake management #abt it #AND i was supposed to have already signed up for utilities as they're managed through the tenant but i received literally no instruction fo #or move in procedures #idk this is such a mess i am overwhelmed!!! :''''''^) #i hate moving i HATTTE IT #i hate that ive had to move every year since ive been 18 im so tired #i was excited to see my pals tonight but things just went kinda south and sour and :''^) kinda sad!! #im just gonna hangout and write tmrw #i might walk to get a nice little drink or something #oof #vent

[soldier-poet-king]

pf session tonight joy and laughing for the first time in eons vs stress bc I have to drive to work for the next 3 weeks and haven't really done that since I once again failed the advanced permanent test in June and have sorta just sworn off this whole thing out of anxiety and self loathing vs bg3 release week is upon us and I have a long weekend to play it vs I have been SO desperately sad and empty lately ????

#franposting #it is too much I'm going to bed #but that also means tmrw gets here sooner #and work is just. been bad lately. and now we're adding extra stress via my commute #like driving doesnt even shave THAT much time off bc the 401 is so bad #and the ttc sucks but at least i can zone out and not fear for my life #i would legit rather drive downtown than on the 401 #fuck highway driving #i need to move to an apt on the subway line so i can have a reasonable commute and also not have to drive #my intermediate license expires in a year and the absolute terror of having to try the highway test again #this is a stupid system and i want to kms over it! i am a safe good regular driver #the city highways are actively hostile to human life and i dont want to use them why do i have to prove my skills on them #i need to stop im gonna work myself into a frenzy again #LITERALLY WHY IS ONTARIO LIKE THIS AND NOWHERE ELSE #stupid multi tiered driving system

[possum-tooth]

i love not eating until 4pm then eating way too much

#tummy hurt :( #but baklava good :) #happy friday im so tired of packing love and light <3 moving stuff tmrw so ill finally have room to move but. good god this sucks #and texted the guy w the pickup and he never answered :( like my guy blease.. #like its not urgent at all but. i would like to hear back from him at least #and still dk if my bf is coming over tonight which. i wish he would so we can just get going tmrw but dont bc my room is a Mess. :( #still gotta put my monitors in the box i finally got for them and totally clear out my desk but. im so tired. its only 6p. ugh #talk tag

[batz]

art stream soom

#tomorrow (wednesday) most likely ! i think idk #also sorry for being quiet im abt to make Big Commission / Donation post bc im. moving out!:) of this hell house FBSKFHDJD #moving out w a friend and im planning on doing commissions n art streams 2 raise some money for the uhaul/movers/safety deposit/etc . #smth big happened at my house and its no longer like. safe imo. but im taking this as a positive thing bc im moving away from shitty parent #Permenantly and Finally! #anyway drawing breaky bad fanart for stream tmrw sorry LOL im drawing gus hes fun to draw