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#im not self depreciating im making fanfiction
caffeinatedopossum · 3 months
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"Eat shit" what, do I look like a fucking cannibal to you??
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I am sorry if you have done this already but kokichi with a s/o who self harms?sorry if it triggers you:(
kokichi x reader who self harms, headcanons <3
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i have already done this but i like the request so i’m going to do it again! i decided to write headcanons this time instead of just a fanfiction of one moment,, i hope you like it! 💜
when kokichi finds out you self harm, he’s not mad or anything
he’s a bit upset though, since he doesn’t want you to be hurt like this at all
but he understands how you feel, perhaps, from experience
and he knows it’s really difficult
so he decides it! he’d going to help you during the process of getting better!
“im here for you, i promise. and a special kokichi ouma promise can’t be broken, y’know!”
he gives you even more affection than he used to before, determined on making you realize how loved you are and how amazing you are
of course, it’s a little scary telling this much truth in such a serious manner but he knows you need it
“you’re beautiful y’know? and so, so cool. im really lucky to be with someone so amazing...and that’s the truth.”
he might joke around a bit to lighten the mood, but only if you seem comfortable with it
if you ask him to stop, he will!
however, if you like his lighthearted approach, then he’ll continue doing that
he just wants to make you comfortable!
and if you’re the type to make self depreciating jokes, he might laugh a bit, since he knows it’s a coping mechanism
but he’ll always make sure to tell you you don’t deserve that
“okayyy but you’re not bad at all! you’re actually pretty perfect if you ask me!”
and if you ever need anyone to talk to or vent about your feelings, he’s right there when you need him and he’ll listen to whatever you have to say!
he’ll be really gentle with you, wanting you to be feel as safe as possible
“you can tell me what’s going on, sweetheart. i’m here. i want to help you feel better.”
and he’ll wipe your tears if you end up crying
“heyyy, don’t cry. i mean, you’re still beautiful when you cry but stilll!”
and he’ll attempt to give you any advice
...though it might not be too good
he’s trying his best!
if you end up being insecure of any marks you’ve made,
“huh? but, you look so nice! with all your marks included!”
he really means it, you’re his s/o, you’re everything to him!
and if you’ve reached a milestone that is important to you, such as a day, a week, or a month
he’ll throw a whole party for you!
complete with balloons and your favorite dessert!
“surprise!!!!! congratulations on your milestone!!”
he’ll run up to you and give you a big hug!
“i’m soooooooo proud of you!”
and he plans a complete self care day for you too!
you two will watch your favorite videos and eat your favorite foods and will cuddle all day!
he’ll buy you a gift too, whatever you really want
“i love you, y/n. i’m glad you feel better.”
warning here for losing your clean streak
if you end up self-harming again and losing your clean streak, he’s still totally supportive of you
again he knows how hard this is, so he’s not upset or disappointed at all
progress takes a lot and he’s aware of that
“hey, im still proud of you, and you should be proud too! you made it so far, this is just a tiny setback”
he’ll take care of you, and make sure that your wounds are clean, or that they don’t hurt
he’ll comfort you too, and hold you
“it’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. i promise and i told you my special promises can’t be broken right?”
he’ll always be here for you! through all the ups and the downs
after all, he loves you
thank you for reading!! kokichi ouma does love you <3
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sad-tunes · 3 years
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31, 52 and 53 for the nice asks! <3
31. 3 random facts
ummm i used to suck my thumb when i was but a child, @aleksandrachaev used to wear braces (which, frankly, makes her more of a loser then me), and I got a 105 on the science quiz I did not study for, in a class I hardly pay attention to.
52. something i’m talented at
my first instinct was to say nothing but- apparently im trying to me less self depreciating. so. im talented at singing! kind of. some days i feel like im really fucking good then other days i think who tf let me believe i could sing. so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
53. 5 things that make me happy
French Fries, Milkshakes, Friends, Fanfiction, and Not Going To School
Thanks for the ask val! I liked answering it! 
ask me things!
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juyeoniemyhoney · 4 years
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can this morning never end
Namjoon is the most beautiful human being to ever walk the earth. It is natural that you have a crush on him. You expect that eventually, your feelings will die out but then, you find yourself squealing uncontrollably outside of the library that you and Namjoon had agreed to meet at for your pair-work assignment. You have always watched Namjoon from afar. It surprises you when you find out that Namjoon has been observing you too. Well, there’s a first for everything. 
-pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader
-genre: FLUFF, a lil bit of angst, high school/secondary school au (where i live high school is called secondary school;-;)
-warnings: vulgarities, pretty self-depreciating writing if im gonna be honest so be weary, Namjoon is a little bit of a simp for oc in this one, the ending is lowkey shit rip im sorry
-word count: 3208 words
-A/N: hi hi im back, this time with a Namjoon fic. i havent been writing a lot because im so preoccupied with my exams. in all honesty, i shouldnt be writing at all but i have absolutely no sense of self control, so i wrote this. it’s not my best but i really like how joon’s so soft in this so i decided to post it anyway. don’t be afraid to tell me how you liked (or didnt like) this imagine! and requests are open! hope you enjoy this one:)
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As you approach the entrance of the library, your heart starts beating a mile a minute.
You stall outside the automatic sliding doors, mind racing with a million scenarios. You freak out a little and silently squeal, earning you disapproving frowns and judging eyes from passers-by. But you don't care. You've waited a whole week for today.
A week ago, during English class, you were busy writing instead of paying attention, as usual, when your teacher had given the class the assignment to write a scenario, of any genre but it had to contain the writer's techniques she had taught in class. And she made the whole class pair up. You, too lost in the world of fanfiction, had not been listening and frankly, you didn't really care, passing her words off as just more homework.
The next thing you knew, Kim Namjoon had turned around in his chair, calling your name in that deep, gravelly voice. At the sound of his voice, your head immediately shot up, eyes wide in surprise.
"Do you want to partner up?" he had asked, lips slinging into an easy grin, eyes curling up and that goddamned dimple making itself made known on his left cheek. He patiently waited for your answer, eyes periodically glancing down to your desk that was in disarray, pieces of paper containing your words messily covering every corner of your desk. You pray that he didn't catch a peep of your (admittedly) cringeworthy fanfic as you tried to subtly gather the papers before he could read too much.
"Um, partner up for what?" you questioned, confused, head tilting ever so slightly to the right in question, brows furrowed in misunderstanding. He mirrored your actions and your heart had unwontedly skipped a beat. A beat of silence passed, "For the assignment?"
Before you could ask what assignment?, your teacher had interrupted your conversation with a satisfied clap and a smile. "Alright, I assume you have all found your partners. I'll give you time to work on your assignment right now. Remember that planning is the most important stage of writing. Do approach me if you have any questions."
Namjoon had turned back to you with a wry grin that looked a tad bit awkward, saying, "Well, I guess we're partners now."
Which is how you find yourself freaking the fuck out in front of a library on a Saturday morning, mind racing with different, absurd scenarios and outcomes of this meeting. You decide to take another minute to compose yourself.
You wouldn't say that you like Namjoon per se. You just think he is the most handsome man to walk on this godforsaken planet. But seriously, that man is far too beautiful to be real. From the first time you met him til now, you have no doubt that that man is a celestial being, gifted to the world from the gods, purely to cleanse the eyes of us, mere mortals. To make matters worse, he is smart too; of a wisdom thousands of years beyond his age. You still can't believe you've had the god-given opportunity to meet someone like him.
Okay so, maybe you kind of like him a lot, more than you let on, but you're not really sure if you like him because he's Namjoon or if it's because you are lovelorn, touch deprived, or both.
You reckon it has taken more than a minute to compose yourself because by the time you snap out of your daze, you are five minutes late when you had actually arrived five minutes earlier than the agreed timing. You sigh and finally walk through the doors that welcome you into the cooling library, cold blasts from the air conditioning cooling down the fierce blush that had taken refuge on your cheeks.
You immediately proceed to find a seat but Namjoon texts you, telling you that he's already a step ahead of you, having secured a seat in a room with tables on the second floor.
When you reach the second floor, and make your way towards the rooms, you can see Namjoon through the glass walls, sitting down and silently reading a book as he waits for you. The closer you draw to the room, the faster your heart pounds in your chest. The sound is deafening and distracting and you don't even realise how fast you had walked until you are finally knocking on the glass door, sending Namjoon a small smile when he looks up at you.
"Hi, Y/N," he greets, smile widening into a grin so wide that it hides his eyes. Your heart stops but you hide it with a small smile as you settle down your things and yourself opposite him.
"So, what genre did you want to write about," he asks as you take a pen and a piece of paper out from your bag. You freeze when your brain registers his sentence. "The assignment is to write a story?"
Namjoon stares at you wordlessly for a while, speechless that it's been a week and you still don't know what the fucking assignment is. You, however, have no idea that he is thinking about how stupid you are and happily stare back at him, taking in his mono lidded, almond-shaped eyes and the dark brown of his irises. His nose bridge is straight and the tip of his nose is a little flat, like a koala. You have never wanted to boop a nose so bad in your entire life.
"Yeah, that's the assignment," he responds patiently, giving you a gentle smile. You can't help but feel that it seems a little tight and forced, like he is regretting asking you be his partner, and regretting that he didn't have enough time to reconsider. You ignore the feeling of dejection that slowly bubbles up inside of you.
"I thought that it'd be easiest to write romance since you're so well versed in that.". You freeze. Time seems to have stopped and your ears refuse to register the rest of what Namjoon is saying, tuning everything out but your deafening thoughts. You have to remind yourself to breathe.
"You know that I write?" you interrupt Namjoon. He stops and fixes you a look of confusion, like it is so obvious that you write. It's not that you've been trying to keep it a secret. The thing is, for most of your stories, Namjoon is the main male character. In most of your stories, you have described every single part of him in excruciating detail, his eyes and lips especially. When your friends had first read your stories with Namjoon as the male protagonist, they had caught on quickly, almost immediately asking you if you were describing Namjoon because of how well you had described him. A bad feeling washes over you.
"Yeah, you're always scribbling away during English so I got curious and asked a few of your classmates," he responds, flashing you another lopsided smile. If this were any other situation, your heart would have been absolutely eliminated because of that smile but in this situation, all you can think about is if he's read any of your work. Because if he has, you're done for.
"What did my classmates say?" you question hesitantly, still deciding if you want to know his answer.
"Well they said that you've been writing since forever. They also said that a lot of people know that you write. Oh, and they also said that you had some published works so I went to check them out—" Namjoon's voice fades out as he continues to talk.
This is it.
It's the end of your social life. Namjoon is going to tell his loud ass group of friends that you write stalker-esque stories about him and then one of his friends is going to accidentally tell their girlfriend and then the girlfriend is going to spread it across the school and you'll be known as the loser who writes creepy stalker stories about Namjoon—
"It was amazing," you hear Namjoon say in between your mild quarter-life crisis. You pause and look him square in the eye. You want to come off as serious but you falter slightly when Namjoon stares back at you, irises a whirlpool of dark brown and glittering fascination, a swirling vortex that draws you in with a vicious intent of drowning.
"Yes?" Namjoon questions you after a beat of silence passes. You want to ask him if he knows that he is reading about himself but you stop yourself. "You like my stories?" you ask instead, feeling a tad bit shy now that you've realised that Namjoon likes what you write about him.
He lets out a small laugh, "Is it that hard to believe that I like what you write?"
"I was just surprised." He flashes you another wide grin and there it is, those cursed dimples show themselves again, grinning tauntingly at you and your heart commits the highest act of treason when it starts to beat faster. You gulp.
"You shouldn't be surprised. It was really good. I really liked it when you described the male character. It felt like I was looking at him myself. That's why I asked you to be my partner. I'm sure with your talents, we can get a really good mark on this assignment."
Your heart thuds a little faster when Namjoon tells you that his favourite part was reading about how you described him. But it falls to your stomach when he tells you that he picked you solely for your supposed talents. You don't know why, but a part of you had thought that maybe Namjoon wanted to get to know you better, and was using this assignment as an excuse. You thought that it was finally happening, someone you like has finally noticed you. But it looks like you thought wrong.
"Thank you," you say meekly, flashing him a half-hearted smile that you're sure he notices from the way he stiffens. "So, you said that you thought that romance would be a good genre, but what do you want to write about?"
Namjoon is silent for a while, lips pursed in ponder. You wait patiently for his answer.
"Well, I thought that I'd wanted to write romance too," he answers flashing you an awkward smile. The silence that follows is palpable and suddenly, you feel so very exhausted. "Well then, that's settled. Now we just have to think of a situation."
"How about this one?" Namjoon asks immediately after you finish your sentence. He says it rather suddenly and it startles you a little. You can't help but hear a certain extent of desperation in this voice. He wants to get this over with, you tell yourself.
"How do you mean?"
"Kinda like us now," he starts but stops to think about what to say next. You remain silent. "We should just write about us but make it a love story. For example, the two main characters are supposed to do a project together so they meet at a library," he pauses to gesture to the shelves surrounding the both of you.
"Then they start working on the project and they start talking. Then, somehow, the boy confesses to her. And the girl tells him she's always felt the same way. We can come up with how he confesses since I myself haven't come up with that yet," he continues, softening the last part of his sentence into a mumble that you barely hear, but still do. You pause. What the fuck?
"What did you say? I didn't hear you," you ask against your better judgement, curiosity getting the best of you. "Huh? Oh, it was nothing."
A furious blush begins to spread on the apples of Namjoon's cheeks, and for some reason, your body begins to mirror him, heart pumping hot blood to the blood vessels that lay beneath the skin of your cheeks. Namjoon shyly directs his gaze to his lap, dark brown bangs, the colour of his eyes, coming down in luxurious curls and waves to hide his eyes. You can't help but think that you like to see Namjoon like this; soft and shy and vulnerable because he is usually so confident and suave. It feels like he is showing a new side of himself to you, like he is peeling back the layers of masks and personas he has built until he is left raw and natural, allowing you to see everything that he is. The thought of that leaves you feeling winded because it is exactly what you want. And suddenly, you don't feel bashful or shy because of his words. Instead, you are determined, hellbent on making something out of this and you hope with your whole being that it is a relationship.
You are about to say something, to question him, bombard him until he is spilling his feelings in fumbled words and sentences of desperation and want, clawing at you until you too, are raw and vulnerable. But he beats you to it, speaking in a soft, hushed tone, as if you are a stern silence that he is afraid of interrupting.
"I think you're amazing, Y/N. What do you think of me?"
He stares meekly at his lap, too afraid to even spare you a glance. You remain silent, building his desperation like you are some professional flirt. In all honesty, you really just want to tell him you like him too but you're just so scared. The evidence that he at least feels something for you is right in front of you and yet your brain rejects it like a vending machine rejects a bill, walls built far too high and thick that words are no longer enough to convince you. He has to show you. And you think he knows that too.
Namjoon's head shoots up to stare you in the eyes, a new found determination and confidence burning in his eyes. The way the light finds his dark brown irises makes your heart do a million somersaults. They light up and turn into a golden brown you can't help but compare to a sweet, caramel syrup that coats your tongue in golden, sugary gratification. You swallow so hard, you feel the sides of your throat rub together painfully. 
"I think you're freaking amazing, Y/N. Every time I look at you, I always want to make myself better. For you. I want to become the best version of myself in hopes that it'll satisfy you and garner your attention. And I really like that you do what makes you happy. I absolutely love it when you write in English because you're always so focused and serious, plus, you make that really cute face when you're concentrating and it always makes my heart beat a little faster and it makes me hate that I sit in front of you because I have to keep finding stupid reasons to turn around just to look at you and I just think you're the most amazing, admirable, lovable person ever," Namjoon lets out. His words are rushed and desperate and you melt like goddamn candle wax.
"I'm— Wow, I'm— thank you, Namjoon. That really means a lot to me," you stutter, not really knowing what to say at first but finding your words soon enough. "Oh, and I feel the same way," you add, somehow missing the main point of your response. It doesn't matter anyway. He knows now. That's all that matters.
"Wait, really?"
You let out a laugh. "Yeah, Namjoon. Is it that hard to believe that I like you too?" you reply, a homage to your previous conversation.
Namjoon smiles a small smile, then it widens, and widens, and widens, until he is flashing you a blinding grin that could outright beat the glare of sunlight. "You said that you like me," he points out, eyes shining.
It is your turn to blush in embarrassment, cheeks feeling hot as you begin to sink into yourself, hair falling from behind your shoulders to hopefully make itself useful as a curtain to shield your red face from Namjoon. Something in Namjoon's chest begins to splinter at the sight. He is so very tempted to pull out his phone and snap a picture of you but he holds himself back at the thought that he is positive he has many more chances to do so. His ribs nearly break in half because of how hard his heart beats.
"It's a good thing that I like you too," he says gently, smile now gentle instead of blinding. "Also, we have a plot now!" he exclaims in excitement as he slides the pen and paper closer to himself, ready to start on your assignment.
"Wait."
"Yeah?"
"So, we're, are we? You know... Um, dating now?"
Namjoon's eyes widen in horror and he deflates himself, a disappointed frown pulling his eyebrows together at the centre and turning the corners of his lips down. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't ask— I just assumed—" he cuts himself off, clearing his throat dramatically.
"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?" he asks. Somehow, he still feels nervous even though he knows that you answer is a resounding, "Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend."
Namjoon lets out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and it comes out in a relieved sigh. "Thank God because if not our story would have a horrible ending," Namjoon comments, picking the pen back up and clicking it open.
"Let's write that," you cut in before he can say anything else. "Write a sad love story?"
Namjoon is going to tell you no, to completely disapprove of your idea because writing a sad love story is one thing but writing a sad love story that will be handed up to your teacher for her to grade is another thing. But then, he sees your eyes glisten in determination and he dispels his thoughts immediately, folding into himself like a goddamn lawn chair. He can't believe he was just about to say no to you. What the fuck is wrong with him?
"Please? I'm better at writing angst. Plus, we have a happy ending and that's all that matters," you press, trying to convince him. You don't have a real reason other than the fact that you write angst better. You also don't really know why you want to write angst right now when you feel as if you could fly. But it doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore. Namjoon is your's now. 
Namjoon flashes you a dimpled smile, eyes curling up and glittering with mirth and unadulterated belief in you. You can't help but think that you want him to never stop smiling like that, looking at you like you are some sort of celestial being, hailed from the sky solely to bring him every sort of merriment known to mankind and the heavens. The thought of him thinking of you like that scares you, because you are always afraid of not being enough. But Namjoon diminishes all of your worries with a short sentence, manhandling them by the throat and shoving them off a cliff.
"Okay, I believe in you."
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bokutokoutarou · 4 years
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HQ matchup ✨✨U already know who this Clownie is🤡🤡 I’m 17, INFP-T, 5’0, she/her, insanely idiotic, short dark brown hair. I’m kinda good at music tho I’d never admit it. Im first quiet, but I’m chaotic when u kno me and tease a lot I’m reallly passionate when it comes to creative arts, but I’m stupidly insecure about it. even tho I’m stubborn, ppl find it endearing lol. I wnna soulmate, but I’m scared when it comes to love, and can be shy, irrational, and over analyze everything. have fun 🤡🤡
MARI UR MY IRL CLOWNIE AND ILY!!! and stfu w/ all this self depreciation imma run to ur house and fight u after quarantine is over
side note: i’m adding details about u that u didn’t mention in the ask because i know u in real life and i’m not missing out on anything
your first mini matchup is...
KENMA KOZUME
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listen, it’s freaking obvious that kenma would love ur clownass to death!!!
don’t even try to say anything self-depreciating around him okay!!!
kenma’s very critical about himself, so he doesn’t want u to feel the same way and he’ll never let u get away with saying anything bad about urself
he doesn’t talk vv much if he’s unprompted, but if u even try to insult ur own writing, singing, or drawing, he’ll stop u immediately and tell u how amazing u actually are bc u can’t seem to realize it urself (that’s right, i’m exposing u clownie)
u two would definitely play vid games together. he’d have his head on ur lap and his nintendo switch in his hands as you’d race each other on mario kart
ur rlly good at mario kart (don’t try to say otherwise u legit beat me 10 times in a row) so u’d win kenma just as much as he’d win u
and u CANNOT TELL ME that kenma wouldn’t read the hell out of ur writing!!! he’d legit beg u to write bc he’d get so invested in the storylines and oc’s that u ranted to him about for hours on end
also, he’s literally in love with ur voice!! like pls sing him a lullaby (isabella’s lullaby from the promised neverland obviously) and he’ll fall asleep in seconds
it would take a while for u two to show affection bc u are both shy about love, but once u do it’s the cutest thing ever!!!
also, kuroo would totally tease u two if he saw u holding hands, but he’d regret it immediately bc u would go off on him like the clown u are lmaooo
just pls protecc this pretty setter aaah!!!
your second mini matchup is...
HINATA SHOUYOU
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u and hinata would literally be so chaotic together and it’d be the best thing ever!!!
he’d literally be ENTRANCED by ur voice (who isn’t lmao?!)
he’d legit beg u to sing for him every five seconds and he’d try to get u to sing for the team, but ur shy so there’s no way in hell ur doing that
if u ever insult urself in front of him, he’d be so confused bc ur legit perfect in his eyes and he doesn’t understand how u feel otherwise
he’d probably go on a TANGENT about how perfect u are in front of the team and you’d be so embarrassed lmaooo
but ofc u’d forgive hinata immediately bc he’s a babie and he means the best
u CANNOT tell me that the whole team would tease u two bc u both are short af (i’m a hypocrite for saying this bc i’m only 5’1 oopzies)
“wow, the two short clowns finally got together. a match made in heaven,” tsukki would say when hinata announced u two were dating
tsukki instantly regretted it tho, bc u went off about how u’d rather be short than be a “blind tree” LMAO
hinata would want to show all his love and affection for u immediately, but once he realized that u weren’t comfortable with it yet, he’d try his hardest to restrain himself from giving u a huge hug every time he saw you
but once ur comfortable, u better prepare urself bc this boi would shower u with so much affection bc he thinks ur perfect in every way aaah!!
there u go clownie!!! this one will probably be way longer than the other ones bc i know u irl and i’ve wanted to make a matchup for u for SO GODDAMN LONG u don’t understand!!!
ps: write ur hanako toilet fanfiction already bc i’m still waiting okay??😌🎪
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