#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...

[ceasarslegion]

The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀

Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.

This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:

Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.

And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.

Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.

I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?

Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.

Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.

Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.

Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.

Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.

The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it

#ramblings

[alicenpai]

apparently i never uploaded this one so. carole & tuesday button from 2019 !  ❤🎶🎹🎸

#carole and tuesday #carole & tuesday #carole stanley #tuesday simmons #i really like this drawing actually T__T #i liked it so much that like. i kept one for myself. and prior to 2019 i never kept any of my merch for myself LOL so this was the first #i kinda want to draw more stylized like this again #SHOUTS IM TIRED OF DRAWING ANIME STYLE!!!!!!!!!!! #i loved stylizing hands too i miss that #the colour palette in this is so warm i need to use this palette again.. hmm.. pensive..thinking..🤔 #the girls were so cute i love their friendship #i should rewatch this anime.. n watch the 2nd season #i dont usually put watermarks on my art bc i feel like it looks so UGLY #i downsize all of my merch pics if i post em but i feel like its so small #this one is bigger and i dont want people printing it and stuff #my art

[chatonyant]

One more, im in a mood

look i need people to draw plum blossom sword saint as an old man oK?? OK??? HE IS 80 SMTH CAN HE HAVE WRINKLES PLEASE

#return of the blossoming blade #return of the mount hua sect #화산귀환 #art #fanart #alp fanart #alp art #grabbing this man and throwing him down the stairs #i understand in murim if youre skilled enough with cultivation you will look decades younger etc etc #however. my counterpoint is that (in the manhwa) there are a lot of old looking people. #why cant he be one of them #like he doesn't even need to look that old i certainly did not draw him very old at all #just give him wrinkles.... something to make him have age #i want cool grandpa ok #also it took like my third reread of the manhwa to realize that he had a white antenna #it made me laugh so much #how to show age: white hair antenna #um. im so used to drawing hanbok i realized the right one has a much higher waistband than it should be looool oops #also i think it would be really funny if another indicator of age is simply how long his antenna is #like its his fukin lifeline or someshit

[gncrezan]

testing out how different the pen pressure is on the new laptop w/ @asphodelgame <3

#yes its time i apologise to the pagans again!!! sorry everyone #my art #persephone #hermes #fields of asphodel #asphodelgame #foa #using the tablet on a new laptop is crazy my tablet has never responded like this . i wanna practice LOL #somehow i was surprised that using a laptop that was 7yrs old and screamed every time it opened photoshop didnt perform well . #but i am also here. testing this all out . and im always constantly in a foa mood cause i got attached to seph after a character study #so here i am <3 i think rezan next . or D and X cause what i've seen from the update i just adored how annoying they are #i also need to draw stuff for wts cause i had it all sketched on my old laptop.... #also done very quickly so excuse the mistakes on this im just having the time of my life getting my tablet to RESPOND!!!! #i also need to draw live cthonic reaction cause the idea of people around seph n hermes being like ohhhh okay. they dont know anything #**chthonic SORRY i cannot spell or think rn #ive sketched live pyri reaction before anyway i think we should get the whole gang into it #is just so funny . TO ME ONLY MAYBE . but its so funny #ive also been meaning to draw all the foa cast as quick busts cause i need to beat sameface off with a stick but just havent gotten around.. #ok enough of the tag wall . thakn u for coming to the ted talk

[cptnbeefheart]

expose folk & blues music history to american public school students

#i believe that the exposure of art. of course given the tools to properly digest and provoke questions from it. can be and should be life #changing !! i think we need to utilize art within history classes more. its hard to contextualize history when youre memorizing vocabulary #terms and not exposed to the humanity of our ancestors. actually i got really into this idea a few months ago researching the africanus #austrolopithicus. the dissonance we feel between ourselves and our oldest ancestors that resemble animal more than human. i think we #feel this with history not long behind us as well. you miss the humanity when you cant relate on a basic level to our history. thats why i #think blues and folk music is so important. to hear people complain about the wealthy 100.. 200.. 400 years ago. how can you not be effecte #by that. its timeless !! and thats why its magical. anyway i feel really passionate about this so i apologize for soapboxing #also i want to add. its important to assess the historical art that you're aware of. to be aware of who is preserving this. its so importan #thats also why you should never feel guilty for taking up space with your art. think of all the artwork out there that hasnt been preserved #all the music youll never hear all the paintings and drawings youll never see. making art is part of being human #anyway off topic Im seepy

[littlehatmouse]

wips from valentines day art that i did not plan well and am not finishing tonight

#this is going to be shenjinlan but right now yun jin is BEATING MY ASS WHY IS SHE SO HARD TO DRAW #i think i need to completely chang ethe way i draw noses #dunmeshi has changed the way i draw noses from 3/4 view and i think i should change the way i draw front view too bc everything looks WEIRD #anywayyyyyy i have no idea when im going to finish this #but Hopefully soon!!!! #i can complete projects!!!! just you wait!!!!!!! #also i promise yelan isnt wearing lingerie it will hopefully look better when i color it #wip #i draw shenhe so different every time i draw her but its bc shes buff and i actually dont rlly know how muscles work #so im kind of bullshitting it every time #i should probably. get on learning anatomy and stuff #but idk how to go about that #and idk how to tell my art teacher Can i please learn how to draw muscular women #so i need to do that on my own #which is hard bc idk if ur supposed to study like anatomical muscle charts or muscular people #bc ik knowing every single muscle and bone and stuff is kind of unnecessary #but alsooo its good to know what muscles do what things #bc then i can make certain muscles stronger that would be used more #bc right now shes muscular kind of just. for looks lmfao #but i want to make it Make sense for what she does #like .. what muscles do you need to use a polearm and to lift things #i also Dont work out which would be useful for that information #anyway. shenhe would be buff af in canon if hyv wasnt a pussy #wdym she can lift rocks the size of houses IWHTOUT ANY TYPE OF ADEPTUS ENERGY #like shes just that strong.... #heart eyes emoji #shes wearing a skirt btw hejhfejfhjhr #you cant rlly tell because i Refuse to draw legs unless absolutely necessary #but i would like you to know that that Is a skirt #she could do anything to me

[spacedlexi]

is anybody else out there still creating twdg fanworks 😭📢 where is everyone please dont say reddit i cant go back there

#im gods bravest little soldier for following fandom tags but its rough in there #guess i should specifically say where are the twdg fans who didnt hate violet #sometimes i remember how homophobic (and racist?? in the lee and clem game??) people were during s4 (and still are on reddit/yt) and think: #maybe i should stop looking and just let the cool people find me #go knocking on enough doors and the devil may answer #but i want to see fanart 🥺 #was only Slightly surprised by the misogyny because this is clems game series but hoo boy the misogyny towards violet...... #ive gotten used to how quiet it is i gotta remind myself a dead fandom is better than an annoying one 💀burning shores reminded me of that #so hard being a wlw in video game spaces please where are my other wlw video game enjoyers i need to find u 😭 #gotta draw some more ellie to lure them in like an angler fish #im honestly surprised how dead twdg seems to be esp with the way the final season ended?? its set up so well for fanworks?? #theres a lot of unaccounted for time even before clem got to the school. and its set up that their lives could be anything now #is it just because people were burned so hard by seasons 2 and 3 that a lot of people just didnt even play 4?? #or maybe they didnt even know s4 was un-cancelled?? #because i know theres a lot of people who stopped after 3 #but 4 is such a return to form. its like the other side of the coin to s1 for me. like if s1 was more hopeful instead of dreadful #it is Such a love letter to s1 honestly. imagine if telltale didnt shut down in the middle of production and they got a full budget..... #sometimes i imagine it... s4 with a full 5 episodes??? in my dreams. literally. #oof this turned into a ramble im just fandom lonely #twdg #it speaks

[themyscirah]

Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now

ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop

Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?

Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters

#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪 #like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana- #oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love) #i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the #founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them #(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he #maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping #ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up #the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever #anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing #totally different people... very lame #anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc #like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being #involved (“animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still #slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here #but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her #patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of #this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the #themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe #psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and #WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR-- #.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this #no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.” #this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT #ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth #sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and #maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here #what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were #busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways-- #swishy liveblogs

[unicarcass]

i just dont get how i feel more boring these days, ive tried everything. coming back from the brink of death, substance abuse that we kept on the down low, getting poisoned through substance abuse,

#dave.txt #this is a joke btw im just verbally illustrating to myself that weve been going thru it #and 'people like us less because we dont draw or do other interesting things as much now' #is a ridiculous notion that even if it were true in some fashion why should i give a shit. im not made to be 'interesting' #i dont need to strive for some invisible shifting goal of 'approval' and i dont need to live like im afraid of what people think of me

[whumpy-wyrms]

Has Aspen watched Wolfwalkers before? I think he would absolutely love that movie :)

YESSSS YES YES ASPEN FUCKING LOVESSSSSS THAT MOVIEEE

AND SO DO I!!!!!!! like i’ve never seen that movie before but i’ve wanted to watch it for a long time and this ask FINALLY made me watch it and oh my god HOLY SHIT IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES NOW. i literally JUST finished it and i don’t even know what to say besides this

i need everyone to watch this clip in particular because holy shit i cried during it /pos. like i can’t even describe how much i love this movie and how much it means to me just wow WOW it’s absolutely fucking amazing and i definitely recommend it to everyone. the animation is stunning i love the main characters and everything is just so EXPRESSIVE and the COLORS ANR AHHHH THE WOLVESSSS

Aspen loves it. it’s one of his favorite movies now too (maybe his favorite idk i’ll have to think of what other movies he likes) but guys i don’t even know what to sayyyy that movie is sooo good

thank you so much for sending this ask because wow i don’t know what it is with me and wolves now but wolves are COOL and i LOVE this movie i’m so happy i finally watched it!!! :D

#i was screaming at the tv during the super intense parts like wow WOW this movie was amazing #imagining Aspen running through the woods as a wolf being so so so happy #i’m so happy i got the idea to turn him into a werewolf later on in the story so he can finally truly live #like Aspen turning into a werewolf marks the end of Silas feeding on him i think. it’s a brand new beginning. he’s truly alive and free now #and i love that so much #i’m so happy #i’ve gotta write down everything i’ve been coming up with for silas and aspen because it’s a lot and some people might be outta the loop #but basically after a very long time of being Silas’s bloodbag Aspen befriends a werewolf and gets turned #Silas was pissed because werewolf blood is kinda gross and Aspen now smells like wet dog and he’s overall less appealing #and Aspen is over the moon when he gets turned because he’s a wolf therian (otherkin) and he basically just got everything he’s ever wanted #and by then he already got closure for some stuff in his past (relating to how he originally died and one of his friends and ghosts) #so like he’s Happy. he’s so fucking happy. he’s the happiest person you’ve ever met by then #and also that is past the point where Silas eventually warms up to him (because aspen is literally a delight to be around #even to people as cold and heartless as silas) he still kills aspen for fun though. aspen is used to it and honestly doesn’t mind anymore #their dynamic is just sooo fun. #and i love werewolf aspen so much and need to talk about him because he’s all i’ve been thinking about and drawing #like Aspen is a bloodthristy werewolf who doesn’t know anything about his powers and Silas begrudgingly helps him because he’s Involved now #lots more happens in the story after this. it’s gonna take forever to actually get there tho like im a slow writer and haven’t even finishe #the first chapter. but yeah i love werewolf aspen and the werewolf who turned him is very cool too. don’t know anything abt them yet but im #working on it. anyway i love wolfwalkers u all should watch it because it’s amazing #ask #aspen oc #silas oc #brc ask #blood runs cold

[dandyshucks]

i need to make like ,,, a wheel to spin for what to draw at night bc i have tooooo many options and ideas and end up stuck for like half an hour just trying to decide dhfjfkl

#guz body study or julian/star or guz/junebug or original character art or try my hand at furries again or or or etc etc etc LOL #i need to figure out how i want to draw the cats (tugger and misto and s/i) so i can draw them ;-; #but mannn its difficult BDJDKSL i actually started out drawing furries so its funny that im so useless at it now #i used to draw sock-eared dog people as a kid fjdksl they were my original species or smth idk it was a cool story and worldbuild tbh #but i abandoned that when i hit grade 6ish i think which is... a little sad fjfkdl i should... revive that story one day maybe #ANYWAYS. im rambling. I'll go make a wheel to spin maybe i know theres websites for that #dandy.cmd

[biohazard-inevitable]

A little late but its still June therefore still Pride month so I drew myself and my Boyfriend @emile-hides holding our flag even though its just the two of us right now!!!

#pride month #polyamorous #yes im a fox what of it #this peice is so awkward cause it really shows how much better i am at furries than i am at people #my art #but i think it still came out well!!! #i’m not used to drawing two characters interacting at a time #but my beloved boyfriend!!!~ #wish we had more in our polycule but you can only do so much in conservative places #anyways i stayed up all night doing this i should really sleep #but also peep my full theriotype design!!!~ #thats what i look like!!!~ #i also tried to draw my boyfriend’s body type but unfortunately i dont have a ton of experience with different body types #i really need to practice more #but i think i still did pretty good!~

[huldrabitch]

I cannot for the life of me figure out what color his eyes and eyelashes are. I think blue/grey eyes? But is he a brunette, or is he maybe blonde? The eyeshadow is throwing me off

Like this is obviously far from finished but im playing around and uhhhh i have no idea. Thinking of doing the batman makeup and bone structure, plus a fuck ton of facial scars and a big ol' nose, probably long hair, other than that... hmm

#konig #i need him to be sad and pathetic (complimentary) #but also i want to at least try to go off on what is “canon” #i see a lot of people making him a brunette #so i think that might be it #but im not so sure #im just ranting and thinking #also i rarely save any of my prosess so when i figure it out and draw him itll be funny to look at this #im betting blue eyes though #but hm #maybe i should get back on pinterest im using an ungodly amount of time just being indecisive #i need to make him a bit scary and blonde people always are

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DRAW HIM WHY IS IT SUCH A GODDAMN ORDEAL EVERY TIME FOR FUCKS SAKE

#smol has a vent #hahaha guess who im attempting to fucking draw again :) youll never fucking guess :) #ive sketched him many times and i can NEVER make an ACTUAL FULL PIECE cause i dont FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DRAW HIM!!!!!! #i want to put my own spin/style obvs but i want him to look as canon as possible but i also want him to look good #it'd help if i could fucking draw legs. need to make that bitch skinnier #i just always draw legs too long or thick!! and i STILL dont know how long torsos should be!!! #'wait smol arent u like an artist. aint that like ur one marketable skill' why yes it is!!! #and you know what? im damn good at it!!! im damn good at following refs and drawing people's OCs!!! #but drawing my fictional faves??? NOPE!!! SORRY LADS NOT TODAY!!!! #it is...so fucking difficult wanting to draw ur faves cause they genuinely make us so happy #but the first attempt is always guarunteed to upset me cause I CANT FIGURE THE FUCKIN SHAPES OUT #AND I STILL CANT WRITE 'GAURUNTEED' RIGHT ON THE FIRST GO #i peaked with that 80s Goromi piece. ive not drawn her anywhere near as beautiful since

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #is that spelled right;;; bluhhhh :') okay anyway #im too tired to draw but too awake to sleep; cursed to be stagnantly unproductive :pensive: #cant even draw an eca; much less my artfight attacks. ALSO everytime i finish a revenge TWO OTHER PEOPLE ATTACK ME #and i am thankful for art but also STOP MY REVENGES WILL NEVER GO DOWN and i still need to do friend arts!!! #ough cursed with my trivial little problems u-u i may be overwhelmed (''oh you think?!'' <- brain balancing 36+ different artfight pieces) #animating for a few hopefully; multiple characters for several; i dont want to do backgrounds anymore but i should :'> #one of my notes for one is ''jegus chrimst jace are you going to draw a whole -ss car?!'' hfhgfg #it was a mistake trying to name them all flowers but im committed to it now #also mom wants me to go back to school and i literally have no more gen-eds to cover for me and i still dont know what major i want #i feel stuck in that regard so i just try not to think about it. but the semester is approaching :'/ #guhhh im too tired to go on my laptop but i physically cant nap :'/ cursed forever /lh #body please either stop being tired or settle down enough to take a sleep!! make up your mind you silly lil guy!! #maybe i'll reblog things or scroll tumblr or something; oh unproductive mindless activity u-u #aight peace out; love you all <33 #edit: i realize ive accidentally been using ''periodic life updates'' instead of ''periodicAL life updates'' hfghf well sht

[sugaroto]

I did it :D

I changed seats

During the 1st hour I was sjnzjdjsjd-ing again and couldn't focus and the 2nd hour the teacher was late and so I said fuck it, grabbed my bag and sat on the back

My deskmate was a lil confused and I didn't have time to explain to her why I left, sorry🥲 but I seriously cannot sit in there, especially since I sat on the back yesterday (some people were missing so it didn't seem weird that I moved) but like, in the back I could breathe, in the front it's very crowded

Also I don't think my deskmate minds at all cause the guy who sits on the front moved back with her a few times and they were playing hangman so🤷‍♀️she's doing fine

And only one teacher comment on it :)

-What are you doing in the back? Will you be sitting in there from now on?

-I focus better on the back

-you noticed a difference?

-yeah, I'd rather sit here

At first she thought I couldn't see, which is weird cause I'm wearing glasses, and the problem is that I actually can see better on the front but I focus better on the back, but we don't write that much cause most of the time the teachers are just talking (history doesn't need the board, ancient greek and Latin use it like once a month, so my problem is seeing in math, but I can see so far)

And like a friend noticed I was on the back during the last hour and she was like "Sugar what are you doing in the back?" All sad and she said it was sad or something cause I was so far away and sitting alone and my friend who was sitting in front of me (and knew how much I wanted to change seats) was like "no she likes it better here" and I was like yeah I get stressed on the front and can't focus and some girl was like really?

Yes really, I'm finally breathing again 🥲💘

Now the only teacher who didn't saw I moved was the history teacher and when I moved yesterday she gasped so I'm worried she'll say something

Also, there are two boys in my class who were originally on the back but now both sit on the front and one was kinda forced cause he's sleeping on the back so the history teacher made him move and I think the only reason the Latin teacher didn't continue the subject is bc she understands I'm not trying to sleep on the back bc I'm actually giving Panhellenic exams unlike the guy

And bc the teachers had made both boys move I thought they wouldn't agree with me sitting back but it's fine :)

The math teacher probably doesn't care cause she knows none of us actually cares about math, and also I participate to her class so🤷‍♀️ and the ancient greek teacher was also my teacher last year and I was sitting on the back and I don't think he gives a shit about where someone is sitting cause he knows how to do his job

3 teachers let me be 1 to go

#like... teachers dont really understand it #but ive neen sitting on the back for like at least 6 years (probably more honestly) #and even though there were times in which i wasnt paying attention #when i need to pay attention i do so #in the back i feel like i have more control #i cann see everyone and who raises their hand so if the teacher asks something i can see that other people are participating and decide to #join them #in the front i cant see so when the teacher is picking a student to say the answer idk if its because they raised their hand or bc she just #chose them and if shes choosing at random i don't need to raise my hand and if no-one else is participating i don't consider myself smart #enough to say the answer #also i feel people behind me and that whatever movement i do annoys them even though i know thats not the case i just cant #i focus too much on the people behind me existing that i cant focus on the class #but in the back i can just exist :D in peace and actually pay attention and sometimes i may sketch not like draw something just random #lines or some shit. its kinda calming but if i do it in the front they'll think im not paying attention #which is not true cause even at home i have a paper next to me when i study just to draw lines #most of this might not even make sense but :) it makes sense to me :D #this was long... but ... im also using this blog as a diary and its on my bio so anyone who follows me knew what they were signing up for #:D #sugarenia talks #should i make a diary tag? #sugarenia diary #lol #sugarenia thoughts #sugarenia school stuff #sugarenia teachers #sugarenia has friends #sugaroto