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no-where-new-hero · 11 months

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Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross: A Review

I tend not to give less than 3/5 stars to any book I finish, mostly because I know what I'll like in time to DNF, and if it's truly that disappointing when I'm done, well, at least it got me to the end (the exception to this is The Maidens by Alex Michaelides, but that's the subject of another rant).

This book, however, only scored a 2/5 and the only reason I finished it was that it made me so annoyed, I needed to know entirely whereof I spoke before posting this review. ~900 word rant below the cut and thanks to @blackcatwalking for commiserating with me in my outrage through the process 😅

I came into this book with high expectations based on the vibes and setting, but unfortunately a book can’t live on vibes and atmosphere alone, and the whole novel felt so flimsy, an ephemerality the author appeared to hand-wave away through an insipid romance and rather horrifying purple prose.

Now, I should be the last person to complain about purple prose. I accept that as one of my own literary failings. I am not, however, a NYT bestselling author. I don’t have an agent, an editor, a line editor, anyone else double checking my style. Ross does. And say what you want about word choice, but the use of “inspiration” rather than “inhalation” jarred (in a particularly uninspiring moment), and an army captain saying “expire” rather than “die” when speaking protectively of his soldiers is just laughable. They are not cereal boxes. When I got to the third use of “raiment” to describe perfectly ordinary and utilitarian clothes, I hit my limit.

The prose wouldn’t have bothered me so much if these dictionary words were part of Iris and Roman’s dialogue or letter-writing (see more below), considering they’re both wordsmiths and are supposed to have such a sparkling, dynamic writing style (this is hard to appreciate, as Ross herself is neither sparkling nor dynamic). But the narration merely came across as pretentious, without even pretention’s usual snobbish success.

The letter-writing itself also failed to distinguish the book, as neither Iris nor Roman had a distinct voice, and the central mystery of who is replying to Iris is spoiled for the reader at about chapter five. I am aware that knowing who he is serves the rivals to lovers trope, but it leeches absolutely all tension out of the plot. The rivals to lovers trope itself expires (haha) at the end of part 1 (and at the end of all good pacing in the novel), and nothing remains except a lot of soppy sexual attraction to draw these two together. I am aware this is a YA novel, but in the year 2023, insta-love should be a red flag to any editor.

All this aside, my largest complaint lay in the world-building/setting, considering I was cheated out of the WWI fantasy AU I was sold and was left with a very poor secondary world fantasy instead. I will admit (this is about my one point of charity in the whole book) that the all-of-two chapters where Iris actually interacts with a battle at the front feels grounded, brings home the grimy messiness of war, and drives a good pace. Unfortunately, it comes far too late and explains far too little to rehabilitate the rest. Briefly, there is a war between two gods. Other than a schematic mythology explaining why these gods are at war, we get absolutely ZERO context for why humans would be drawn into it. Any story about war, fantasy or otherwise (and especially fantasy), requires its stakes to involve the characters in soul-crushing conflict, and Ross never provides any: not patriotism, a desire for social change, a campaign of othering, a greed for land or power, or even religion, which would seem like an easy go-to if gods are involved. As far as I could tell, nothing would change, no matter which side won. If this was meant to be a commentary on the meaningless of war or echo the false and outdated loyalties that drew Europe into WWI, I found no evidence for it. No musings in Iris or Roman about how they and their families got caught up in this struggle. Not even the usual alarming hopes of what they’d get out of it at the end of it.

I think this whole concept of war-as-set-dressing really irked me, too, because of how the book ended. I had my gripes beforehand, but the epilogue clearly indicates that the sequel will involve the gods directly. I might be inclined to care more if we got even the barest glimpse in this book of how the gods are operating in the war. I realized from reading this how much of tension and the desire to know what happens next in a reader derives from fear of what will happen, and the forces at play around Iris and Roman appeared so anodyne that I can no longer be obliged to care.

My early thoughts from about halfway through was that it should have been written for an adult audience, but now that I finished it, I don’t want to give Ross a free pass on account of it’s being YA. We have all been traumatized by our fair amount of children’s books, for goodness sake. There’s no need to sugarcoat war or its fallout, how it impacts people's lives beyond separation from loved ones and possibility of death, ESPECIALLY if you are basing things on WWI.

“It’s just a romantic little story!” You might say. “It doesn’t have to be that deep!” Fine. I clearly seem to be in the minority in my reaction to the book. Plenty of people thought it was show-stopping and spectacular, and I won’t invalidate those opinions (though I may wonder what you read as typical fare). But I don’t know if anything else will top this as my worst read of the year.

#rebecca ross #divine rivals #iris winnow #roman kitt #books and reading #bookblr #booktok #bookish #immortal poets society #blake’s last braincell

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agentnico · 1 year

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Beau Is Afraid (2023) Review

A few days ago I read an article that proclaimed Beau Is Afraid to be a 3 hour long anxiety attack. So naturally I thought - that sounds fun, I want to go see that. So here I am.

Plot: Following the sudden death of his mother, a mild-mannered but anxiety-ridden man confronts his darkest fears as he embarks on an epic, Kafkaesque odyssey back home.

I have had mixed opinions on Ari Aster’s previous films, as Hereditary was a mediocre horror film with one memorable sequence involving a certain decapitation, and Midsommar was basically a modern day take on The Wicker Man. But I also appreciate their existence now more than ever, as were it not for the critical and financial success of those movies, A24 would have never justified giving Ari Aster a $30 million budget to make a film like Beau Is Afraid. For this movie is absolutely bonkers insane! This is sorely Ari Aster’s unique vision, and one that you’re either willing to jump on the ride with, or you won’t get it and find it pretentious and ridiculous.

This is a movie that demands a lot from its viewers. What starts as a simple premise with Beau planning to go visit his mother after not seeing her for a while becomes this overlong surreal, grotesque and unpredictable odyssey and very much an interpretive challenge as it is shown through the eyes of the titular Beau. However Beau struggles from multiple anxiety disorders, as such everything he sees, hears or feels is always under question of what is reality and what isn’t. Beau is what I’d call an unreliable narrator. You know that feeling when you’re anxious about some worst case scenario happening that you’ve built up in your head, but then reality strikes and it’s never anything as bad as you brain expected it to be? Well for Beau every craziest scenario that his brain assumes becomes reality, as such everything around Beau is very over the top and macabre mad. Especially since all of Beau’s thoughts and insecurities stem from his very dysfunctional relationship with his mother, and as such everything Beau does is an attempt to emancipate himself from this toxic connection. The result? Well the result is one really weird f-ed up movie!

Joaquin Phoenix is perfectly cast as the broken and lost Beau. Phoenix is able to deliver so much with his eyes and expression, showing off Beau’s desperation to get out of this hell that consistently finds himself in, and all he wants is to be left alone. Yet as befit of the Kafkaesque reference in the synopsis, Beau simply cannot ever catch a break. He’s like the cockroach from the famous Kafka short story Metamorphosis, that is stuck in a room, not being able to get out of it. Beau’s life is one big messed up nightmare. And during this nightmare journey that is split into these episodes of sort, Beau meets a whole array of colourful characters, which I won’t spoil, but I will say that the whole cast in this movie do a fantastic job of embracing Aster’s mentality. The likes of Nathan Lane, Amy Ryan, Parker Posey, Richard Kind, Stephen McKinley Henderson are just a few examples, each bringing in their own peculiarities. Zoe Lister-Jones and Patti LuPone both a responsible for bringing to life the younger and older version of Beau’s mum, and both are very great at delivering one super manipulative and deranged creation.

From a technical standpoint this movie is a pure filmmaking dream. Ari Aster definitely took advantage of A24′s big pay-check by creating some really trippy sequences, ones that are definitely inspired by the absurdist takes of David Lynch. A highlight it a scene where Beau is watching a theatre performance, and mentally puts himself into it, and we are then treated to a most beautifully bizarre semi-animated sequence. Beau is whisked into the on-set scene and then proceeds to traipse through fable-like villages, living out a long imagined life full of pure love and abject terror. It’s delicate movie art rendered as psychological weaponry. It’s a visually stunning piece, and one that only adds to the questions of what the hell we are watching. Another example is closer to the end of the film where Beau is forced to go up into this mysterious attic he’s been avoiding all his life, and what he sees there is something so random and twisted, yet at the same time a great use of practical effects and once again an example of Ari Aster’s willingness to create something truly different.

That’s what Beau Is Afraid is - different. Every viewer will leave having a different interpretation, but there is no doubting that this is Ari Aster’s very own distinct director vision, and one that feels like you’re being thrown face first into someone’s deep subconscious. It’s a truly exhilarating viewing experience. Do I get all of it? No, but I don’t think I need to. Some things are meant to be misunderstood. Is the movie a bit long? I mean yeah, it’s three bloody hours! Though that may tread a bit into the element of self indulgency from Aster, I still can say with certainty that this was a strangely enjoyable watch, and also surprisingly funny too. In a twisted way, Beau Is Afraid is a hilarious comedy of errors. And by gosh go see it on the big screen at the cinema. This movie deserves your undivided attention, don’t wait for it to go to streaming. Cinema is where it’s at, even if at my screening there was this very annoying fly that kept flying from the projector to the screen, making the in-movie anxiety correlate pretty effectively with my anxiety of that stupid damn fly!!

Overall score: 9/10

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unpopularghostwrites · 1 year

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Book Review 5-9: John Green

This is a book review for the following books by John Green:

- The Fault in Our Stars (3.5/5)

- An Abundance of Katherines (3/5)

- Paper Towns (4/5)

- The Anthropocene Reviewed (10000000000000000000/5)

This is going to be an old review, because the last time I read any of these books was when I was in high school as a Freshman. I am now a 21 year old college senior, and was around for the 2016 Tumblr craze over TFiOS, and the status of it as a meme now.

I have only read Looking For Alaska once. I have read Paper Towns multiple times, and An Abundance of Katherines a few times. I have practically memorized TFiOS... Why? Because it was THE book of angst for 13 year old me.

I like John Green a lot. I like what he and Hank Green do for students, young people, and the community online. They are good people with informative videos and with interesting ideas. So here I am, reviewing John Green’s books from way back when. Please note* I haven’t read any of these books within the last 4 years besides the Anthropocene Reviewed. So this is more a review of the nostalgia and the pieces I can remember.

The Fault in Our Stars. There are faults with this book, but there are great parts too. This was the first book I read that had swearing and a realistic (or as realistic as you can get when it’s a straight white man narrating a teenage girls life) portrayal of teenagerhood. Is it pretentious as all heck? Yes. Are there moments where you want to strangle the main character? Yep. Are there moments when you want to strangle her boyfriend? Yes. Most definitely. BUT. This book was extremely important to me when I was younger, it was the first “adult” book I read. It tackled more than just fantasy novels or things like Amber Brown. It was a book that was about someone who was dying, but who was finding their life through it. It helped I was discovering this around the time of the Sherlock, Doctor Who, TFiOS, Tumblr obsession craze. It fueled my love for the story, and the movie was coming out. Unfortunately, I am a contrarian. My roommate loves to tell me so. So it got too popular and my love for TFiOS was squashed. I put it on a shelf and began to love Paper Towns more, but then the movie for that book came out. The Fault in Our Stars is a sucky book for someone who is going through terminal illness. It glorifies, romanticizes, and is pretentious about it all. The kiss in the Anne Frank house is so infuriating that that’s what I remember. I fail to see why Augustus is so loved by Hazel, because he is just a guy. Hit him with your car. (Chrissy, 2023). Okay, maybe don’t hit the guy with leg cancer with a car, but come on. He goes through such a down hill spiral, and it’s understandable why, but it’s really annoying to read. Even though he is in pain and is dying, so is Hazel. He doesn’t have to be a jerk to her. Isaac is a much cooler person. If I were Hazel, I’d have gone for Isaac.

The imagery and quotes that this book has? Worth reading it for. There are lovely phrases about this. I fear that John Green could be my version of Peter Van Houghton. I’m really glad that he didn’t end TFiOS with an incomplete sentence that would have been really annoying and on the nose. But I did find it surprising he chose not to. So good on him for not being cliche.

Perhaps one of the least well known John Green book out there, this one is one of the top books he’s written to me. I liked the way that the book is, with footnotes and science-y nerdy terms that I didn’t really understand when I was 13. I liked that the book really makes you feel like you’re on a summer road trip, it’s hot, it’s long, you’re bored, but there’s enough intrigue and potential for romance you get your hopes up. I like the idea of being obsessed with being a genius, I can relate to that feeling a lot. I think that writing wise, this was one of his worst ones. I really like this book though. I haven’t read a book like this and still haven’t since. I would read it again, but wouldn’t recommend it to people who are obsessed with Green’s other work and are used to that quality and precedent.

Paper Towns is a great book. It’s funny, it’s got a great ending chase scene, it was relevant to my life when I read it. I grew up idolizing people, thinking that they were special and more than just people. This book is about that concept and someone making someone into more than they are. I love the movie of this book and think that it’s a fair adaptation (Cara Delavigne is hella fine). I think that this movie and the book could have been as successful as TFiOS if people were interested in it and it had gained as much controversy. I love the idea of a manic pixie dream girl being tracked down by a nerd and his friends and then telling them it was not fair they see her as a manic pixie dream girl. Sometimes, girls are just girls. People are people. They aren’t your answers, they aren’t your solutions, they aren’t your soul mates. I think this message would be really relevant to any high schooler, simp, or fanboy out there. I think that this book is great. :)

This is how you do a collection of essays. This project John Green has done via podcast is so good. I cannot recommend it enough. I never thought I’d be crying in my car to someone talking about Jerzy Dudek, contemplating Tetris, or appreciating Piggly Wiggly’s origin story. I never thought someone wondering about the world could be so powerful. I think this is such an important podcast, because it’s not only teaching us cool information about niche things, it’s teaching us about humanity. It’s teaching us about our lives, our earth, our society, and our history. I find great value in this project and am so happy that I gave it a chance. It’s so comforting hearing hope and reassurance when looking at Gingko Trees or the start of the Penguins of Madagascar. No matter what essay, Green makes me feel safe and full of wonder. He makes me feel secure to find joy and power in the things around me, how the world used to be, how it is and how it could be. If you’re going to try out something of John Green’s, please try this.

How I rate books:

0 - Could not finish

Could not finish due to various reasons. Be it it’s too boring, or that it was highly offensive or poorly written.

1 - No.

Absolutely detested, will not read again, could not believe some people read this and enjoy it. What were they thinking?

2 - Eh.

Not my cup of tea, but I can see why someone would like this. Wouldn’t read again but not a complete waste of time.

3 - Huh.

Welp. This book is very mid tier. I’m okay that I read it, might read it again if I am bored or forget it. This is an okay read and I’m okay I read it.

4 - Hm.

Hm. I don’t know if I really like this book but it made me feel something. I liked it and would read it again, I don’t know when I’d read it again but I’d confidently tell someone about this book and recommend this book.

5 - WOW! I love this book. I am this book. Read this book. 1000000000000000000000000000000/5 - Self explanatory

If I give a book this rating, assume it is now my personality and I am going to force you to read it in front of me.

**All art is not made by me, it is a google search and not my art. If it is my art, I will say so. Assume all art is not mine. Ty**

#tfios #paper towns #abundance of katherines #looking for alaska #john green #book review #unpopularghostnoodlegivesthisarating

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freakattack · 1 year

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So i dont talk about this often here ebcause i fear that it is hashtag cringe to take this media more seriously than it demands but i do sometimes think about what orbulons home planet might be like. I know it's irrelevant within the context of the stories hes already involved in and also will probably never come up in my own but as a freak who likes thinking about alien planets i think its fun to speculate. So anyways. What we know about orbulon is

He has an iq of 300 (allegedly) but his intelligence is in actuality either average or below average for the rest of his species. (I like to think it's below average because he's so insecure about it and it's funny. It is OK orbulon you are smart to me.)

He can shapeshift and also has no bones and can twist himself into horrible shapes. So far we are seeing a vague cephalopod parallel but i believe that ends here.

Along with shapeshifting, Orbulon can teleport, telepathy, and even telephone.

He sleeps A LOT and mentally cannot function on the comparatively small amount of sleep that humans require. This could be related to either the big brain thing and/or the fact that

Time on his planet "moves half the speed it does on earth", whether this means that the planet rotates and/or revolves twice as slowly or if time itself does some wibbly wobbly shit is unclear but given the title "time warp" and the fact that warioware is a goofy over the top series it might be the wibbly wobbly. Speaking of wibbly wobbly time

People on orbulon's planet have already developed advanced time travelling technology to the point where the average person can just have it in their car. In the online mega microgames diaries orbulon takes his oinker to dr crygor to get it fixed and dr crygor stumbles upon the time travel stuff by accident. This makes sense if everyone on orbulon's planet is smart enough to break an IQ test.

Also time-related, orbulon's species has a super long lifespan. Orbulon is about 2023 as of 2023, although he attaches his age to his "carbon matter" specifically which is clearly just because he is a pretentious ass and needs to use the most obtuse vocabulary for everything BUT i enjoy reading into things so i am going to say it is not only that deep. Which brings us to:

Things I Made Up About Orbulon

I think that his species has a weird immortal jellyfishlike life cycle where they constantly revert back to an earlier stage and renew themselves to increase their lifespan. I said this before as a joke but it actually wasnt a joke sorry. The orbulon we know is not Exactly the same orbulon that was born 2000+ years ago and sadly is also not Exactly the same orbulon that is OP in get it together. But they are all orbulon. Its complicated

I think that the sleep thing and the telepathy thing are related. The antenna is a sensory organ that is able to detect and project vaguely-defined Psychic Energies. I also think that this could be how he summoned the alien bunnies to haul ass and save him from the asteroid in the first game

I mean he also could have also morse coded them but IM NOT RULING IT OUT. Anyways

3. This isnt related to the sleep brain thing at all but while we're looking at his face i just want to throw in fhat i think a reason he wears sunglasses is to block out sun/star light. I dont think this is an uncommon game theory but im just letting you all know that i subscribe. I think that his planet is pitch dark and also that with his sunglasses he can deftly avoid eye contact not for any alien reasons but because. Well look at all these paragraphs i wrote why do you think

ANYWAYS!!!!

The sleep thing and telepathy thing are related in my brain and I think that his species can communicate with each other in the Dream Realm. (Not an actual realm im just calling it that.) i also toyed with the idea of their dreams also being a way to gradually restore past memories after metamorphosis but i think thats too complicated for this. It would be a cool idea for alien species in general but i dont want to make my silly wario comics have that much drama

Going off the dream realm thing though, I think that because they are psychic supergeniuses that communicate in dreams, the line between "individual" and "group" is very blurry compared to most human societies. Through dreams things like technology and ideas can be collaborated on infinitely by an infinite amount of minds, and in such a liminal state the sense of self tends to take a backseat to the pursuit of progress. This isn't to say they don't view themselves as individuals at all (or else orbulon wouldn't be like that) but moreso that they are highly communal and have different priorities and ways of conceptualizing themselves. Think ants.

Now, orbulon has CONFIRMED at least 16 friends on his home planet, which is frankly an obscene amount of friends to be able to have in your 2020's. Personally I think it's hard to cobble together a vibrant social life after your 1300's but what do i know. But anyways, i think that even extremely close-knit "friend groups" in orbulon's planet tend to average in the double digits and even dip into the triple digits just because of the way their minds and culture work. Dunbar's number ceases to be an issue when you are a psychic genius that can mind meld with everyone on the planet.

i think orbulon genuinely likes the people he grew up with, and that they like him, but even though he had those friends I personally think he was probably a bit of a misfit even on his home planet. The fact that he is SO insecure even among earthlings and the fact that he left and didn't return to his home planet for at least a thousand years tips me in that direction. Earth would have been a huge culture shock for him even if he knew about it ahead of time, but I think that finding a group of fellow weirdos that he can be himself around was more than worth the adjustment.

#can you tell i have work i need to be doing right now #orbulosting

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nocturnalswarehouse · 1 year

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Tag game!

I was tagged by @blossom-adventures and @thequeenofthewinter :)

3 Ships:

I'm going to delve away from Skyrim here because my procrastination response if I don't want to be productive around my place, is to immerse myself in as much media as possible. So an obvious one is OC/Brynjolf. Otherwise, Adi would not exist XD my others are OC (or reader)/Jacob Frye because I'm still hyperfixating on AC Syndicate. I also recently finally started Jane the Virgin, and I'm a slut for Jane/Rafael

1st Ever Ship:

I was but a young child, barely able to comprehend reading when my first ever a ship came to be. I shit you not. I think I was 5. It was Blue/Magenta in Blue's Clues. I found out a couple years ago was also my first gay ship, and I am HERE for it.

Last Song:

Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

Last Movie:

I watched one in my filmmaking class by a local director who created a film about a Ukrainian woman who immigrated to modern-day Winnipeg. Do I remember the title? Nope. Do I want to? Nope.

This movie was filmed back in like,,, 2019 I believe, is what he said and released like last year. It's two hours and could've been easily cut down to one. Very slow, almost too slow. I liked a lot of the shots. It was interesting to watch a film where only two characters - who were in there briefly - spoke English.

So there are good things about it, but it definitely could've been way better. I felt like the writing was almost too dry, and the director didn't give us any context as to what the plot was or any warnings that were needed (nudity and a certain subject related to nudity that is unpleasant to watch, to put it nicely).

I just think we should keep cishet white north American men away from creating films with that kind of subject because they don't,,, get it. Granted, neither do I but I do have an entire family of immigrants.

Currently Reading:

Well, it was my personality psych textbook, but no more! I hope to finish @thequeenofthewinter's fic because I'm behind due to school, and after that? Well, when the term starts, one of the texts for one of my classes is "The Handmaid's Tale," and I'm VERY excited to read it.

Currently Watching:

Too many things at once.

Jane the Virgin

Wednesday (I get the hype, I have critiques, but imma keep them to myself because it's very nitpicky and a bit pretentious)

RuPaul's Drag Race S14 (I'm on episode 7)

Canada's Drag Race S2 (I'm on episode 4)

The Witcher (started it in September, had a depressive episode)

Slow rewatch of Avatar: The Last Airbender because I'm following the podcast recaps and discussions

Slow rewatch of Kim Possible because I got bored and switched to the Witcher (it's great to watch after a long shift at work, though)

Wizards of Waverly Place (helped me through the depressive episode. Downside? I've seen it so many times the show is fully memorized)

Hunters on Amazon Prime (They re-edited the show to take out the scenes that got a lot of negative press, and I'm mad, so I stopped because they also re-edited my favourite scene in the entire show)

Teen Wolf (gotta prep for the movie coming out in 2023)

Okay yeah, so my fam and I have a lot of streaming services. Welcome to my Dad, and I are movie buffs

Currently Consuming:

Water. I'm pulling an all-nighter because I gotta be at the airport in two and a half hours, so if I sleep I will miss my flight. Gotta stay hydrated!

Currently Craving:

Tacos from a place back home, and lemonade from a pop-up lemonade stand that ends up at every big event in my city back home and if I can convince my parents I'll be able to get one and won't have to wait until Stampede in July next year. It's the best damn lemonade I've ever had.

The specific tacos I'm craving are the best damn fast-food tacos I've ever had, but I've definitely had better. My sister worked at a Mexican restaurant specializing in tacos that a family member owns, for god's sake. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, I also crave those. I think I just want tacos.

I can't really think of anyone to tag (the main person I would've tagged, tagged me first XD), so I pass this on to anyone that wants to do it :)

#thanks for the tag!#tag game #this was fun!#also sorry I tend to ramble lol

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arnoldjaime13 · 8 months

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Blog Tour- INTERGALACTICA by @francoptrotta With An Excerpt & #Giveaway!

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the INTERGALACTICA by F.P. Trotta Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

About The Book:

Title: INTERGALACTICA

Author: F.P. Trotta

Pub. Date: July 3, 2023

Publisher: F.P. Trotta

Formats: Hardcover, Paperback, eBook

Pages: 477

Find it: Goodreads, https://books2read.com/INTERGALACTICA

Read for FREE with a Kindle Unlimited Membership!

The first book from the Brazilian space opera series now in English! It's launch day for NASA's long-awaited manned expedition to explore Jupiter's moon Europa! Neuropsychiatrist Amanda awakens after months in a coma caused by acute meningitis... Along with two patients, they discover themselves to be key pieces in an ever-growing puzzle involving an underground geopolitical corporation called The Firm, which plans to sabotage the mission, taking advantage of a new technology to hijack the ship and set a course for a habitable planet located seventeen light-years away from Earth. Originally released in Brazil in 2016, the Intergalactica book series moved thousands of physical and digital copies in Portuguese. Discover a new Earth as you journey to the stars in the first volume of F. P. Trotta's saga. ‘Recipient of the Literary Titan Gold Book Award’ --- What people are saying about F. P. Trotta and INTERGALACTICA: ★★★★★ "In the same league as Brandon Sanderson." ★★★★★ "Very action oriented. Can probably be easily adapted for TV or film." ★★★★★ "With unexpected plot twists and a strong female protagonist, this book keeps you engaged and entertained from start to finish."

EXCERPT

“Consider the odds. If you multiply the number of stars in our galaxy by the number of galaxies in the Universe, you get approximately a gazillion stars. That’s a 1 followed by twenty-four zeros. And there could be even more than that! The chances that we are the only living organism in the universe... To me, thinking we’re unique is pretentious. It’s a matter of days. I’m sure anyone who discredits this is in for a rude awakening soon. Even though we’ve just started the fourth decade of the 21st century, there are still many people who are oblivious to these truths.”

“These are probably the same ones that still believe in the supernatural.” said Stryker, laughing ironically.

“I figured of all people you would believe in most of these things? In the paranormal, in the spirit world, I mean.” asked Ripley.

“Oh, please” answered Stryker. “With all the technology available today, millions of digital cameras and video cameras, billions of photos and millions of hours of recorded footage, yet not one real image of a being or anything remotely paranormal has ever been confirmed. Nothing, zilch.” he looked down, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. “But some people want to hold onto the belief in the paranormal as though it’s any different to say goblins, angels or wizards...none exist, but people still believe this tripe. We have simple people wandering around abandoned facilities at night with EMF and digital recorders trying to convince themselves that a tapping sound is a lost soul back from the dead, or the scratchy inaudible sound recorded is a voice from beyond the grave” he laughed. “If you believe in ghosts and spirits you truly have a child’s view of the world.” Ripley seemed thrown off by Stryker’s skeptic speech and immediately stood up, talking back at him:

“How can you say that, Stryker? After what you witnessed Amanda go through?” she asked, looking at him incredulously.

“Oh, Stryker.” sighed Amanda. She then looked at him squeezing her eyes, as if she could see through him. “You’re attempting to approach a nonsensical subject with strict rationality. The world isn’t so black and white. Your clinical view of everything is your downfall. For as much as science has advanced, we’re still in the dark about most of life’s mysteries and not one human soul on this planet can tell you what actually happens after you die.” she said. Amanda then stood up and started prancing around the room, talking to all:

“Once you accept that you’re an insignificant, inconsequential blip on the radar of time--one of billions of people to have come and gone in a few million years--and humble yourself with the idea that all you truthfully know about the universe is what other, greater men have told you from their own observations, then maybe you won’t act so pompous as to declare you know all there is to know about a subject that has managed to stay in the forefront of society since time immemorial.” she paused for a moment and went on. “It isn’t just country kooks and attention-seeking nutters that believe they’ve seen a ghost or had a paranormal experience. There are many learned men who would stand up to your scrutiny as upright characters, such as presidents, who have claimed to have seen spirits. Trying to lock down such a persistent, widespread phenomenon into this ”This is this, therefore that is that“ rationality is just silly. We exist in a world where we have no idea why we're even here, and things in your daily life operate on a scale of normality that you’ve grown accustomed to, never mind the fact that several centuries ago many things you do would be considered ”magic“ or ”abnormal.“ The torchbearers who brought us electricity, telephones, and computers have managed to push the darkness of ignorance back only so much, but you’re making the mistake of thinking you can see the entire cave beyond the small circle of light.” said Amanda.

About F.P. Trotta:

A love for space operas with controversial and adult themes along with a hint of lovecraftian horror are F. P. Trotta's specialty - originally published in Brazil in Early 2016, the Intergalactica book series went on to move tens of thousands of physical copies in portuguese and is currently the only ongoing space opera franchise published in Brazil.

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aloneandunreal · 1 year

Text

january 19, 23

3 months later and... she's back! i've thought about posting before this but either did not have the energy or did not think it was relevant enough to post (although most of the stuff i speak about on here isn't very relevant, anyway). but yeah. new year. 2023. i feel like the years keep going by and they are no longer starting to feel "real." i know that sounds dumb, but seriously. take a look at "2023" and tell me that sounds and looks like a real year. i don't know. ever since covid started, the years just haven't really felt like they used to. but maybe i'm just romanticizing it. i also am getting older, which is a hard pill to swallow. i know that sounds dramatic because i'm "only nineteen," but for whatever reason i feel so old. i can no longer really be a teenager or act like one because i am technically an adult. but i don't feel like one at all. i wish i did, but as always i am stuck in the past and don't want to grow up. reminiscing on my teenage years is so much easier than focusing on the future. it's not that i was doing much, or having a great time, and this is definitely rosy retrospection, but i felt like i had less adult responsibilities. turning twenty in 5 months makes everything feel so much more real. this is really my last few months of being a teen. i used to want to be around this age so bad when i was a teen, but it's quite honestly not all it's shaped out to be. i guess i always want what i don't have. and when i have something, i don't realize how much i'll miss it until it's gone. of course, i didn't peak in my teenage years. considering everything, i've been doing better mentally and socially while at college compared to high school, but as i said... it's more of a "i'm scared of being a real adult" thing.

not only that, but i also just feel that being a teenager after/during covid is not the same as it was before covid. if that makes sense. i always tell my mom i wish i was in college when she was. being in college now just isn't the same as it was 3-4 years ago. not that i would know, but just based on what i've seen and heard... nobody had the trauma of a 3+ year long pandemic. i also feel as if social media is a really big part of everyone's lives now. it always has been, but during covid, that was all we had. so now it's heavily used by... basically everyone. more specifically, tiktok. i feel like everyone cares about specific aesthetics rather than just being themselves. which i understand, sometimes i want to be a certain way, too, but i don't want to be put in a box. this is laughable to write out, but for example, coquette.

this is going to sound dumb, but covid changed so many things. people went into quarantine as young as 7th/8th grade and came out almost finished high school. it, along with dependence on social media and new trends etc, has really changed teenagers. they are so different compared to when i was a teen. which is of course expected, but it just makes me feel old. and it also makes me realize why some older folks complain about the younger generations (yes, even mine). we're annoying! to give one example that makes me especially annoyed, is concerts. concerts before covid were so different. this doesn't apply to all, but concerts used to feel like a little community. we all loved the same artist, and were seeing them live. but now, so many younger people just don't understand concert etiquette. that sounds really pretentious, but i can't help but think it. some artists i wish i had seen in concert before covid. because now it just won't be the same as it was. which is unfortunate. i'm sure this is worded very badly and i sound stupid and pompous, but nobody is looking at these posts or my blog so i don't really care. i keep telling myself this is my place to write my thoughts, knowing nobody will be seeing them but me. and i guess whoever on tumblr stumbles upon this account. ha.

nothing against teenagers nowadays. technically i still AM a teen. but it's just different. however, of course, as there is with all generations, there are similarities too. things that will never change no matter how many years go by. it's sort of comforting seeing it, if that makes any sense. it makes me have some hope. but not much. and of course, i'm a hypocrite talking about social media, tiktok, etc, because i use it. and have since i was very young. but i suppose this is just commentary on it as a whole, not necessarily a critique. i'm calling myself out, too. all i'm saying is that i wish things were more natural and organic; more carefree. people will say they're carefree but, truly, how can you be in this day and age? especially if you're between the ages of 18-25. social media can ruin lives and mental health. covid has impacted everyone on earth. making money and being able to survive is a huge worry. what about graduate school? the earth is dying. school loans, debt... the list goes on. of course some/all of these have always been issues, but i personally just don't think anyone can TRULY be carefree anymore.

i don't want to have to work my whole life to afford living. i want to enjoy life, have fun. it makes me wish i had done more with my teenage years. i still have time to "have fun" and "live my life", but soon i'll need to start worrying about grad school, jobs, internships, etc. i guess young me hadn't really thought about that.

i feel so melancholic thinking back on my younger self, what i was like, who i was friends with, experiences i had. of course, i've written about this before - it's a trend with me - but i can't help it. that's just who i am. i've even started looking back somewhat sentimentally on my senior year of high school, even though that was just two years ago. same with my freshman year of college. and, of course, way before that as well. i don't know why i do this. everyone's changing, including me, but i'm still semi-stuck in the past. i have one foot in adulthood, and one in teenagehood.

it's funny thinking about how i started this blog when i was sixteen, during covid, my junior year of high school that got cut short. how i was so afraid of turning seventeen, for whatever reason. well, guess what? you're turning twenty in 5 months. how's that make you feel, sixteen year old me? not great, i'm sure. i wish i could shake myself and tell her to stop being so afraid. but then again, in three or four years, i'm sure i'll be wanting to say the same thing to myself now.

i'm not totally unhappy/unsatisfied with my life at the moment, but i wouldn't say i'm doing great. if you couldn't tell with what i've been writing. i wish i wasn't so caught up in the past, so scared to move on. i wish i could just happily feel nostalgic about things instead of whatever... this is. i hate feeling a knot in my stomach thinking about old memories, both good and bad. still, it's a familiar sadness/nostalgia i've always had. but i just don't know how to let go of it. i want to be happy, have a happy, fun, fulfilling life. i want to be remembered and thought of fondly by others, and vice-versa. i want friends i'll have for a lifetime. but it feels impossible. i hope it's not.

i don't know what i have going for me; i don't know what's to come, and that is what scares me. i want to make the best of the time i have, but i can't when i'm so stuck in the past. like i've been my whole life. i can never live in the present. i'm either in the past or the future, almost never the present. i can't enjoy things normally. and, just as my teenage years, my 20s will be over at some point. i don't want to be 30+, looking back, and regretting all the time i've wasted. i'm scared of growing older, but i really just need to face the truth. there's no going back in time, and i'm not going to be young forever. but how? i still haven't fully learned, even after all of these years.

i guess that's all for now. a pretty anticlimactic way to end a journal, but it is what it is. i wonder if i'll ever have anything good to say on this blog, anything positive. i feel as if i only go on here to rant about nonsense and be sad. i don't think i've ever given a "happy" update. because, unfortunately, happiness is not easy to romanticize like sadness is. maybe one day i will. but for now, we're stuck with the sad, sentimental rants. these are supposed to be the best years of my life, but it doesn't fully feel like it.

while writing, i listened to:

playground love - air

bathroom girl - air

cemetery party - air

get free - lana del rey

bel air - lana del rey

in my head - bedroom

kids - MGMT

my kind of woman - mac demarco

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