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wearesorcerer · 4 years

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Ioun Bloodline Arcana

Whenever you have an ioun stone orbiting you or implanted, you bond with that stone. You may telekinetically recall one bonded stone within 20 feet per Sorcerer level, causing it to orbit your head as a swift action. You may use ioun stones as thrown weapons that function as darts and deal bludgeoning damage, and you are considered proficient with them. The stones count as magic for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. You lose your bond with any stone out of your possession after 24 hours.

I need to unpack this a little. My evaluation is fairly mean, but this ability is a C+/B- - because of the Bloodline Powers.

First of all, the paragraph needs to be reorganized:

Whenever you have an ioun stone orbiting you (or implanted, for that matter), you bond with that stone. You lose your bond with any stone out of your possession after 24 hours. As a swift action, you may telekinetically recall into orbit one bonded stone within 20 feet per Sorcerer level. You treat ioun stones as thrown weapons with which you are proficient; they function as darts, but deal bludgeoning damage and count as magic for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

There we go: actions required before effects, passive abilities before active ones, generalities before specifics, normal rules before exceptions, and relevant tangents in parentheses.

Effectively, this gives you an ability slightly better than a cantrip, but in contradictory ways.

The first contradiction:

As a swift action, you may telekinetically recall into orbit one bonded stone within 20 feet per Sorcerer level.

Bonus Feats: Acrobatic, Craft Wondrous Item, Magical Aptitude, Quick Draw, Point-Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Skill Focus (Knowledge [history]), Throw Anything.

You won’t want to use Quick Draw (iterative attacks [like you have any] for thrown weapons) because of the action restriction. Now, the recall ability exists both for the attacking and to combat kleptos from yoinking your stones, so maybe that’s for balance. However, given the capstone power, I suspect it’s because someone thought returning (a +1 enchantment that makes thrown weapons work like how they say boomerangs do) would be too powerful for first level characters to have.

(<3 Bowie-sama.)

The second way it’s contradictory is in range. Most attack cantrips work at Close range (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels, meaning 25 to 75 ft.). Darts have five range increments of 20 ft., with a cumulative -2 penalty on increments two through five. Yes, your maximum range with recall becomes available at 5th level. However, you will always take a penalty to match the maximum range of the cantrip (even though you can exceed it). Further, since most attack cantrips use ranged touch attacks¹ and you still have to roll against armor, you’re not going to hit shit.

You are still better off with a crossbow, given that to use either you need to be within closing range of, say, an enemy Fighter. (I will make a big stink about this point when I review Reserve feats.)

So, onto the second question: how exactly are these

(DMG 3.0 and 3.5, but art with similarly sized stones exists all over.)

comparable to something like this?

The dart used in D&D/Pathfinder (pictured above: late Roman plumbata) is most closest to today’s lawn dart, not the tiny things used in the game of the same name (though they do descend from the military ones). The comparison this Bloodline uses is a bit of a misnomer chosen for the sake of mechanics.

See, darts are mechanically nearly identical to sling bullets:

One dart weighs 1/2 pound (in D&D, at least). Sling bullets come in groups of 10 and such a group weighs 5 lbs. Math: it’s what’s for dinner. (Bum bum bum.)

Both the dart and the sling deal 1d3 (Small) or 1d4 (Medium) damage.

Both have a crit of x2 with a normal crit range.

Both are simple weapons.

They vary in three respects: price (pft, we’re using magic items, which are loads more expensive than either), damage type (already accounted for), and range. As I explained above, slings have a range increment of 50 ft. (nice!), whereas darts have one of 20 (sad face!). So, the comparison is more to this:

Still, this seems off; ioun stones are usually shown to be really small, like pea-sized. Does any source (3.x, Pathfinder, fifth edition, something else) provide sizes to corroborate or contradict the art? Not that I could find.

Thus, I tracked down the stones’ origins: Jack Vance’s short story “Morreion,” coincidentally also about finding the sources of ioun IOUN stones. The ones in D&D are lifted from that (with Vance’s permission; yes, they are copyright Vance, not TSR/WotC/Hasbro or Paizo). It took me a while to acquire the story (I had to use the regional interlibrary loan consortium), but right there at the beginning of chapter 2 (of 41 pages²) was what I sought:

“each approximately the size of a small plum.”

A brief Wiki Walk told me that plums are about 2 to 7 cm (3/4″ to almost 3″); Google confirmed about 1-3″ plums.

How big is a sling bullet? Well, Wiki claims about 1″ in diameter, though they’re oblong. The key is that they’re often made of lead. Ioun stones don’t get weights, but that’s easily waived (or else presumed to be irrelevant because of telekinetic force).

So yes, this ability is reasonable in principle.

In application, could/should this have been better? In all ways, yes. I will give my version of how this should have worked come the end of the week.

Is it a bad Arcana? Not really; I’d give it a C+/B-, but mainly because of its interactions with your Bloodline Powers.

¹ The main exception to this is telekinetic projectile, which launches an item out to close range as a thrown weapon attack. The trade-off is that it deals 1d6 non-magical bludgeoning (regardless of what you throw) rather than 1d3 magic of an energy type. However, it’s an abomination for one reason: it also deals damage to the object thrown.

² Bear in mind the 41-page count while I explain some things - or, rather, go on a rant.

Jack Vance’s Dying Earth series is one of the primary sources used to develop Dungeons & Dragons - hence “Vancian casting” (and Vecna, an anagram and homage). Had he not inspired the casting system, we likely would have had a spontaneous arcanist from the beginning. (Psionics have been spontaneous since Eldritch Wizardry [OD&D Supplement III, 1976]; had they not earned a reputation for being broken af, the would-be Sorcerer of 3rd edition would likely have been a Psion instead.)

I say all of this because neither H.P. Lovecraft nor Gary Gygax, both noted for their use of strange words, hold a candle to Vance. So horrendous is his diction that it took me several days to get through those 41 pages.

Mind you, I have a Master’s in English with foci in literature (specifically Shakespeare) and linguistics; I’m used to word choices people don’t like and trained not to get annoyed by them.

This did.

It’s like he sat down with a thesaurus and consulted it for the least-used words he could find for every word in dialogue and many words in narration. On top of that, the plot didn’t make a lot of sense (there were lots of weird jumps in logic, in part because of the diction, but also just bizarre behavior). In the end, I felt I had wasted an interlibrary loan (What if I had accidentally damaged the book? I’d have lost ILL privileges on this tripe!) and a lot of reading time I could have put towards The Starless Sea (which is due sooner and has a line waiting for it, but I wanted to get this post done).

I cannot speak fairly of the Dying Earth series because I haven’t read enough of it, but the diction is something that Vance is noted for. I don’t want to write off Gygax’s tastes, but so many of the things I detest about D&D go back to his personal preferences, in particular Jack Vance. I’m unsure if I will try again another time because I think I’m being highly unfair, but seriously, I hated this.

At least we have IOUN stones. (No idea why Vance insists on the capitalization, but he does.) And grues. And robes of eyes. And several other nifty things.

#ioun #bloodline arcana #arcana #Jack Vance #Vance #dart #sling #bullet #thrown weapons

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writingdotcoffee · 5 years

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#81: What Inspires Me

The dictionary on my computer defines inspiration as the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something. A surprisingly good definition, if you ask me, but vague nevertheless. We all know how it feels to be inspired. But where does it come from? How can you get it?

Inspiration always strikes when you least expect it. Here’s a collection of things that made me feel inspired recently.

Browsing Youtube late one night, I found this old video of the Red Hot Chili Peppers jamming live in front of an audience (as they often used to do). I’m a huge fan of John Frusciante who makes up an incredible 7-minute solo on the spot. How much relentless practice and hard work and dedication did it take for him to become that good?

The reading rooms of British Library are huge spaces that span several floors with miles of shelving and rows of spacious workspaces. Talking isn’t allowed, so the sitting areas are filled with the soft pattering of keyboards and rustling of pages. The readers are immersed in whatever they’re working on, and every time I come in, I find it impossible to procrastinate. It’s a hugely inspiring place.

At the end of a long day in the library, I often go for a long walk. I thread my way through the busy streets of Saint Pancras and past the fancy townhouses of Bloomsbury. I pass The British Museum and the Old Bailey. I can see the grand dome of St Paul’s from behind the sterile concrete and glass London Stock Exchange at the edge of the financial district. I am fortunate enough to live in London which is brimming with stories, old and new, if you know where to look.

I recall a random conversation between a mother and a four-year-old son at Starbucks years ago. It went something like this:

’Look, it’s Oscar’s birthday today,’ the mother said. She showed the kid a photo of a dog on her phone.

‘Yay!’ the kiddo chirped, excited.

‘We need to get him something,’ she said.

The kid ran around the table. ‘We’ll get him an iPhone!’

The mother gave him an indignant look. ‘No, he’s a dog.’

I almost burst out laughing there and then. Years later, I still remember the conviction with which the kid said it and the offence in his mother’s voice. There are many stories behind this short snippet about middle-class parenting and how incredible little kids can be. It made me feel inspired.

My favourite author to follow on social media is V.E. Schwab. Apart from being an incredibly prolific author, she’s very good at sharing her process with her fans. You can see how hard she works and how dedicated she is. I find that hugely inspiring.

The Greek-revival palace of National Gallery often becomes an unwilling participant of protests and all sorts of public discontent at Trafalgar Square. If you’re lucky, and there aren’t any riotous crowds around, you can walk around to the back where you’ll find the rather unassuming entrance to the National Portrait Gallery which is a treasure-trove of inspiration. Not only there’s a huge amount of craftsmanship and hard work behind each of painting, but there's a story behind every face. From the sheer vanity of the aristocrats in opulent dresses to people like Shakespeare and Churchill and Darwin whose works shaped the world.

A few weeks ago, I found Play—a short film that shows a 23-minute long instrumental track composed and performed entirely by Dave Grohl. In the beginning, he narrates a short introduction that’s worth a listen even if you aren’t into rock music. I find Grohl’s dedication to music incredibly inspiring.

One of my favourite reads of 2019 so far was Autonomous by Annalee Newitz. I was seriously taken aback by the scope of the world building and how well balanced the plot was. Then I read an article by the author which only deepened my awe at just how much research she did. I hope that one day, I’ll be good enough to write a book as good as this one.

Ernest Hemingway’s memoir A Moveable Feast was another book that afected me very much. The author recounts his early days in Paris as an unknown writer in a series of short vignettes. I found the grace and apparent ease with which he tells those stories of financial hardship and struggle to write very inspiring.

I guess that I find the most inspiration in great people doing great things. Those always make for good stories. What inspires you?

What I Am Reading

I finished James Clear’s Atomic Habits this week. It’s difficult to overstate how good this book is. I’m failing to find the words to avoid a pun here, but this was the best book on habits that I’ve ever read. It exploded last year and rightly so. The book gives plenty of examples and practical tips as well as the context needed to understand the principles of forming new habits and breaking old ones. Give it a read if you can.

Next week, I’ll be reading Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey.

Short Stories

I still read one short story every day. This week, I read these:

Birth Of The Ant Rights Movement by Annalee Newitz

Drones Don’t Kill People by Annalee Newitz

Twilight of the Eco-terrorist by Annalee Newitz

The Gravity Fetishist by Annalee Newitz

Rocket by Laurence Radford

Diamonds from Tequila by Walter Jon Williams

The Caravan to Nowhere by Phyllis Eisenstein

Want More?

My email subscribers (also known as persons of the most distinguished taste, lol) receive a digest of what I published or found helpful in their inboxes every week. Hit subscribe to join the club.

(I won’t spam you or pass your email to a third party. You can unsubscribe at any time.)

Past Editions

#80: A Day In the Life of a Writer, March 2019

#79: Not Feeling Like It, February 2019

#78: Becoming Polynovelous, February 2019

#77: In Praise of Bad Fiction, February 2019

#76: The Negative Review Paradox, February 2019

#writing #writers #write #writing updates #update #personal #me #writing life #amwriting #writeblr #writingcoffee #writingdotcoffee

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tweaksy · 6 years

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Swedish Girl Creates A Robot To Do Her Homework! You Won't Believe What Happens Next!

Fandom: Overwatch

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787240

Square Filled: My First Time Writing Robot

Rating: General

Summary: Passing grade 8 for Brigitte means acing this essay. Unfortunately, just reading the essay questions almost killed her. Maybe she can think of another way to get through this? And hey- if things don't work out Reinhardt is always there to bail her out!

Word Count: 2095

Written for @biggobingobango

Respond to one of the prompts below in an essay of 500 words or more. Your essay must be peer edited, be free of grammatical and spelling errors, and use transitionary phrases.

1. A great deal of the novel focuses on Sophia’s blue earrings. How do the earrings relate to each scene in which they are mentioned? (pg. 23, 47, 89, 103, 217) What is the significance behind the colour blue? Would the meaning change if they were a different type of jewellery?

Brigitte stopped reading and tossed the paper across the room, slumping back in her chair. Writing essays was already awful, and writing essays on a book she hated was just excruciating. While her 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Carnell, was a great teacher, she was terrible at choosing engaging, enjoyable books. Even the students who more keen on literature struggled with her book choices, as well as the writing topics. This meant that Brigitte, who had more of a head for math and science, was doomed. So very doomed.

Ingrid poked her head into her daughter’s room. “How is the essay going, dear?” She asked.

“Great,” Brigitte sighed, scratching her cat behind the ear.

Ingrid looked down at the paper lying on the floor. “Don’t you need this to write your essay?” she asked. She glanced over the paper, frowning.

“Isn’t it bad?” Brigitte asked.

“It’s not… well, it could be worse,” Ingrid said with a small laugh. “I’m going to the store to pick up some groceries, try to get something done by the time I get back, okay? Remember that Mrs. Carnell said she won’t take any more late assignments from you.” Ingrid placed the paper back on Brigitte’s desk, ruffled her hair, and slowly closed the door upon her exit. Brigitte sighed again and picked up the paper.

2. Toni makes many references to Shakespeare’s soliloquies while trying to woo Sophia. How do these speeches (pg. 54, 76, 79, 93, 147) match or differ from Shakespeare’s famous soliloquies? How do these change the tension and mood in the scene?

Brigitte threw the paper on the floor once again. She couldn’t do this. No way. There were still three more topics she could choose from and she knew that just reading through them might actually kill her. There was no way she could do this. But there was also no way she couldn’t do this. Not if she wanted to pass grade 8, that is. Which meant if she couldn’t do it, yet it had to be done… then what if someone else did it. Or, something? An idea came to her.

Brigitte slipped on a pair of shoes and walked to the garage and into her dad’s workshop. He was away for a few weeks; he wouldn’t mind if she borrowed some of his equipment. First things first: some drafting paper and a pencil. Once the blueprint was made, she needed some metal, screws, wires… she danced around the workshop, tossing equipment onto the desk against the wall. A bit of this, a bit of that. Why not this? Oh, we’ll surely need some of that! Once everything was gathered it was time to get to work. That essay would be done by Monday, like it or not.

-----

Ingrid opened the door to the workshop. “There you are!” she sighed, looking at Brigitte’s back. “Supper’s almost ready… shouldn’t you be doing homework?”

“I’m taking a break,” she mumbled around the pencil in her mouth.

“Okay, well, be inside in five minutes. Make sure you wash up, too.”

Brigitte mumbled a sound of confirmation, still staring intently at her creation. Five minutes wasn’t much time, but she could make use of the break. The body was built, the programming was almost ready to go, all she had to do was download the correct files. She clicked on the ones she needed to transfer over. Connect it to the printer, connect it to the internet, upload a digital copy of the book, put in the language file, a few more clicks and… done! The rest of the work could happen during supper. She wiped her hands on her pants, cringed as they came out more black than they did before, and decided it would be a good idea to go wash up and change.

As she exited the bathroom she bumped into her younger brother, who was about to head in to wash his hands. “Where have you been?” He asked. “Remember mom said you shouldn’t use dad’s tools without him around.”

“I wasn’t using anything dangerous,” she rolled her eyes, “just making a simple robot.”

His eyes brightened up. “A robot? What does it do? Can it shoot lasers?”

“No,” she laughed, “but that would be a good idea. Actually it’s supposed to read my book for my literature class, read the essay questions from the teacher, and write an essay for me. So you see, it’s written by me because the robot was created by me, but I don’t have to do the awful work.”

“That’s so cool!” he shouted. “Can I use it for my homework?”

“If it works as well as I think it should!” she said with a wink.

Of course the robot worked perfectly. At least, there was a neat pile of papers sitting at the bottom of the printer, stapled nicely together, cover page and references and everything. Brigitte flipped through the booklet without actually reading it. Yup, that looked like an essay. Good enough. She tossed it into her backpack and pulled out her brand-new copy of Half-Life 3. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to finish it during launch week.

-----

“So that’s why I built a robot to write the stupid essay for me. And honestly everything was perfect except for one thing- apparently I clicked the wrong language and instead of hitting ‘Swedish’ I hit ‘Spanish’ instead, so my whole essay was in Spanish! So of course Mrs. Carnell phoned my mom and they had a conference and I have to write yet another essay now and she’s all like ‘oh, I know that you hate this topic so let me make it up to you by giving you a fun topic about science!’ since I just like, have to show my writing ability or whatever, so now I have to write a dumb essay about bees.” Brigitte finally ran out of breath and had to stop to breathe for a moment. Reinhardt took this opportunity to speak.

“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that, Brigitte. But you know, you could have just asked me to write it in the first place! I always did great at essay writing when I was in school! And remember, I am always just a phone call away.”

Brigitte’s eyes widened. “Would you, maybe, write my new essay for me? The bee one?” She asked.

“Of course!” Reinhardt laughed. “Just tell me the topic and I will write it for you! The only thing is you will have to translate it to Swedish. So you will still be writing it, right? I’m just giving you the content!” He laughed again.

“Thank you so much!” Brigitte yelled into the phone. “I’ll text you the topic, okay? Seriously, thank you Reinhardt. You are a life saver.”

“Any time, dear. Say hello to your mom for me, okay?”

“I will!”

Brigitte ended the call and hugged her phone. She was going to get through this, no matter what!

-----

Reinhardt pushed open the heavy doors to the public library. He looked around for a moment, then approached the counter. “Excuse me!”

The woman behind the counter jumped, not expecting him to be quite so loud. “Yes?” She asked.

“I need some books on bees- where could I find them?”

“Follow me. And sir, please try to keep it down,” she whispered, getting up and leading him towards the area.

“Sorry, that’s my bad!” He bellowed with a hearty laugh. The librarian sighed.

“Here is our section on animal books. It appears that there are some on bees right here. If you need a place to start, there is also a shelf of encyclopaedias against that wall.”

The librarian left and Reinhardt began to pull any book that looked vaguely relevant off the shelf. Plus some that weren’t relevant, but looked interesting anyways. Maybe he should stop by the sci-fi/fantasy section, as well…

Pretty soon he was standing in the line to check out, a mountain of books in his arms. A young boy looked up at him, in awe by the sheer amount of books he was carrying. Reinhardt smiled down at him. The book he was holding in his hands caught his eye. “Well now, is that ‘Dragon Riders of Riveron’? I used to love reading those books as a kid! In fact, I remember sitting on the steps of this very library, waiting for it to open so I could be the first to get my hands on the new books as they were released! There was a kind old man that used to work here who, whenever the new book came out, he would send me an e-mail and say that he just got the new book in and it would be on the shelf the next day! And I would get in right as the library opened and I would make a beeline to the shelf and usually I would be done the book by that very evening!” Reinhardt laughed again.

Every library patron was staring at the boisterous man shouting in the middle of the library line. Even the librarians were staring, book in one hand, scanner in the other, neither hand moving. They all seemed slightly disturbed, aside from the young boy, who was looking up with stars in his eyes. “I’ve never met anyone else who has read these,” he said. “I always try to get other kids at my school to try them but they make fun of me.”

Reinhardt let out a gasp. “Make fun of you! Well, I’ll have you know that there is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to good books!” Reinhardt dropped his books down on a counter with a loud crash, grabbed a pen and scrap paper off the desk and scribbled down a number. “Here you go, call me any time you need someone to talk to about them!”

The kid grabbed the paper and gingerly put it in his pocket. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Work slowly resumed and eventually Reinhardt had all his books checked out. Now it was time to return- and get Brigitte her essay!”

-----

Hark! The humble honey bee. Busily she buzzes; to and fro, up and down, elegantly buzzing from flower to flower. But just how does she do that? Such a large, hardworking body supported by such small, fragile wings makes it seem like flight should be an impossibility. But is this really the case?

Brigitte squinted at her essay. Is this really how you’re supposed to write an essay? Aren’t you supposed to use fancy words and sentences that last half a page, and sound as smart and hoity-toity as possible? She shrugged, Reinhardt was the adult. He knew best. All she could do was trust him, and keep translating this essay.

When she handed it in it was a few days before she heard anything back from her teacher. Finally, one day just before she was about to leave for lunch, Mrs. Carnell caught her at her locker. “Brigitte, I want to talk to you about your essay.”

Brigitte took a deep breath, looked up at her, and asked a small “yes?”

Mrs. Carnell pulled the essay out of a folder in her hands. “Honestly, I have never seen an essay quite like this before. I can tell that you were being very sarcastic throughout the whole thing but even so, it was entertaining to read and possesses a level of engagement you don’t usually see in an essay at this age. Generally students are so invested in trying to show off how intelligent they are they forgo any sort of style in favour of showing off. The content was good, you had great evidence and transitions, and honestly, it was an extremely well-done essay.”

Mrs. Carnell dropped the essay into Brigitte’s hands. “Congratulations, young lady.”

Brigitte looked down at her mark and smiled. It took a few tries, but she got there in the end. And hey, as her father always says, “hard work pays off!”

#BIGGOBINGOBANGO #Overwatch fanfiction #Overwatch #Brigitte Lindholm #Reinhardt Wilhelm #tweaksy writes

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irisbleufic · 7 years

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You've discussed over time on this blog the two Hamlet productions you saw in 2005, and both sound like they were mind-blowing on the Hamlet/Horatio front. Would you be able to list ALL the Hamlet productions you've seen over time so that I can look up reviews? I'm curious if they all influenced the way you write Hamlet fic, or if it was just those two slashy ones?

Hello, anon! I’d be more than happy to do that, absolutely.

Here’s the run-down of productions (minus the four or five very minor amateur or community ones I’ve seen at Ren faires and local theater festivals) I’ve seen, and I’ll try to include a brief commentary on what I found most striking (and most useful, at least from the perspective of writing What You Don’t See / At This Chance ‘Verse) in each one:

1) Boston Shakespeare On the Common, July/August 2005 (Jeffrey Donovan as Hamlet; Pedro Pascal as Horatio)

This is the first live production of Hamlet I ever saw. It was rendered as a modern police-state setting with a ‘90s feel. I got to see it twice before the run ended; the reason I went back a second time was, honestly, because it reflected back at me the exact thing I saw in the text when I first read it as an eleventh-grader (short version of that story: I read the ending of the play during a free-reading period of English class and ended up sobbing into my book by the time I hit “and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest”; Mrs. Piper was very, very shocked, but she brought me the box of tissues from her desk, and this is why I always make sure to offer virtual tissues to readers who tell me in their comments that they’re crying). Whether the decision to have Hamlet and Horatio constantly touching and clinging to each other in crucial moments of high emotion was down to Donovan and Pascal or to the director, I am not sure, but these actors had such stunning chemistry in the way they spun the subtext that the effect on me was about the same as reading that ending for the first time. This was one of the few productions I’ve ever seen that had Hamlet's “tables” as a literal Moleskine notebook he carried around perpetually in his inner jacket pocket, and it tore me apart to see Horatio attempt to bodily prevent him from dueling Laertes. In that moment, Hamlet removed his jacket and shoved his tables at Horatio even as Horatio had him by the shoulders, shoved them against his chest, over his heart, this is my story; it is yours, it is ours. This production used “our philosophy,” and I was still an undergraduate at the time. I didn’t know that textual variant existed, because every printed edition I had ever read had featured “your philosophy,“ and I had not yet made a study of the various surviving early versions of the plays. Pascal’s Horatio is still the most heartbroken (and heartbreaking) I have ever seen during the death scene. So close they could have kissed, looked like maybe the tension was meant to convey the significance of its absence; gut-wrenching tears, lips pressed to Hamlet’s forehead. My inner eleventh-grader was relieved to know such a reading was valid enough to stage, because she was at the time still quite deep in the closet. This production also had one of the two most canny, strong-willed Ophelias I have ever seen. She drowned upstage in an actual pool, and there was one scene between set-switches, after someone pulled her body from the water, where she walked across the stage with slow, eerie dripping-wet majesty. This is where my ghost!Ophelia comes from.

2) English Touring Theatre, November 2005 (Ed Stoppard as Hamlet; Sam Hazeldine as Horatio)

I was in my first term of graduate school in York, UK when the production came to town. Still high on the Boston Common production, which I’d seen only a few months before, I snagged the first student-price ticket I could get my hands on. It was staged in spare blackbox style with only a few tables, chairs, and other items as props, but the costuming was firmly 16th-century. Before the production, the director spoke to us about their decision to speed up line-delivery to as close to normal day-to-day conversational speech as possible, and he also spoke of how they felt that, at its core, Hamlet is really a story of two families (Gertrude, Old Hamlet / Claudius, Hamlet; Polonius, Laertes, Ophelia), their relationships to each other over time, and a series of stunning failures of communication between them. I was excited about this, as I have a lot to say on the subject of Hamlet, Ophelia, and Laertes growing up together in a context where they might as well have been siblings (and how Gertrude’s and the King’s expectations regarding Hamlet and Ophelia would surely have pushed him to court her even if his heart wasn’t in it, which it clearly isn’t; I maintain that most of Hamlet’s actions surrounding Ophelia are driven by the perceptions and expectations of others, and I truly hate that, because Ophelia deserved so much better). When “our philosophy” passed Stoppard’s lips instead of “your philosophy,” it’s pretty much a wonder I didn’t choke right there in the theater. Stoppard’s Hamlet and Hazeldine’s Horatio had a level of intimacy and easy physical contact that, if not matched, certainly came close to the one I’d seen between Donovan and Pascal in Boston. Stoppard’s Hamlet is the closest I’ve ever seen to the Hamlet in my head, in both physical appearance and mannerisms (dark hair, very pale eyes, a kind of self-deprecating, wry cleverness that lacked the disturbing, aggressive flashes of temper I’ve seen in a number of other interpretations of the role). Hazeldine’s appearance and mannerisms as Horatio, therefore, fell neatly in line; this is why I tend to portray Horatio as a ginger. The death scene, too, was just about on par with what I’d seen in the Boston production. As you can imagine, I went back to see this one a second time, too. The period aesthetic of this one, as well as the physical appearance and mannerisms of the actors, spliced neatly with the elements of the Boston production I’d already adopted. When I write about these characters, the SOTC and ETS productions have had the most significant influence. I even discuss this in the header notes on AO3, because when I run Google searches on these two productions? It turns out that WYS/ATC ‘Verse is one of the top three search results!

3) Wyndham’s Theatre, June 2009 (Jude Law as Hamlet; Matt Ryan as Horatio)

While this production had the most beautiful sets and overall production values I’ve ever seen in a single rendering, Law’s Hamlet was too aggressive (read: borderline physically abusive) for my taste, and Ryan’s Horatio was a bit flat and uninteresting (although he had long hair and was costumed more or less as a bad-ass biker dude with a dagger on his belt; he was eye candy, if nothing else). Sadly, these two had zero chemistry. The two highlights of the production were, without a doubt, Law’s delivery of “To be, or not to be” while trudging barefoot into the castle from a snowstorm (seriously, it was one of the most visually arresting pieces of effect and staging I have ever seen) and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s electrifying Ophelia (seriously, she’s the best Ophelia I’ve ever seen; she was as canny in her madness as the Boston Ophelia, and I appreciated that to no end). Otherwise, this production has little bearing on the way I write about these characters and the world they inhabit.

4) National Theatre, October 2010 (Rory Kinnear as Hamlet; Giles Terera as Horatio)

This production was rather terrible, and I would like to forget most of it. The performances by and large felt phoned-in, Hamlet and Horatio had almost zero chemistry (I was lucky I could even read them as friends, let alone dear ones), and the whole Hamlet-spraypainting-smiley-faces-all-over-everything really got on my nerves. That is not how you use ubiquitous graffiti, my friend. This Hamlet had some fascinating manic moments, but there was a whiff of the aforementioned (needless, IMHO) violence from which I instinctively shy.

5) National Theatre, August 2015 (Benedict Cumberbatch as Hamlet; Leo Bill as Horatio)

This production had sets and staging choices to rival the Wyndham’s production; I especially loved the convincing quality of Elsinore’s great hall being partially reduced to bleak rubble by the end. I enjoyed Cumberbatch’s portrayal, but not as much as you would think; when all was said and done, he didn’t hold a candle to Donovan or Stoppard. He delivered the role with a tenderness and whimsy in some moments that I feel many actors miss, but that doesn’t surprise me. He wasn’t a violent Hamlet, and I appreciated that. What really, really shone for me here was Horatio. Leo Bill might be my second favorite Horatio as far as delivery; Pedro Pascal comes in first, and Sam Hazeldine comes in third. My heart was on high alert during this production because he reached and reached and reached out to his friend, but Hamlet was too fraught to see or understand what was being offered. It’s the first time I ever saw an edge of unrequited love between these two characters, and it led to me giving @neverwhere and incredibly gesture-filled and emotional account back at our con hotel room later that night. Hats off to you, Mr. Bill!

#hamlet #hamlet x horatio #horatio x hamlet #hamratio #shakespeare

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retrowarriors · 7 years

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Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers

At least this time you can actually take it to the streets

By: Chris Saturn

Developer: Capcom Publisher: Capcom Platform: Switch As a child, one of my least favorite aspects of my early school days was repetition. This is an ‘A.’ Write out an ‘A.’ Now write it out fourteen more times. Ugh. Surely we figured it out after the first one, right? Well, science shows they had a point. Repetition tends to make you better at things. It’s the ‘practice makes perfect’ concept in action. All of those wasted minutes practicing the perfect tail on the end of a lowercase ‘q’ made me an expert. Now I can write out whole words without having to stop and consult my glyph-chart. You probably see where I’m going here. Capcom’s made Street Fighter II a number of times now. Counting all of the revisions, enhanced editions, ports, rereleases, and collections, the number of Street Fighter titles is quickly approaching Graham’s Number. Naturally, they get better at it every time. I mean, so long as you buy the most recent release, you’d gain no benefit from the older releases, right? Well, no. There’s a reason I keep looking back to the late 90s when I want to play a 2D fighter. Sure, there’s been a renaissance of sorts in the last decade, with titles like Street Fighters IV and V, Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Skullgirls, etc. And, while I enjoy these games, there’s something missing. Today’s focus on tournament-level players has left behind a lot of the joy of classic fighters. There have always been people who took the games incredibly seriously, and could pull off combos that last longer than most of my actual matches. But, lined up at the arcades behind them were the rest of us. People who couldn’t clear the game on a single quarter, but still enjoyed trying to get a few rounds in.

Something tells me that Capcom sees this as an opportunity. How do you bring in those entry-level players again, and draw them into the franchise? Why, re-release the original, of course! Well, not quite original. As we’ve mentioned before, Street Fighter II has a bit of a history to it. Ultra Street Fighter II, Capcom’s most recent take on the game, is based incredibly heavily on Super Street Fighter II Turbo, the 1994 re-re-re-reiteration of the 1991 original version of Street Fighter II. Throughout the early 90s, each release of Street Fighter saw something new that made it worth playing. New moves, new modes, new characters. It was all about new. Then, as Street Fighter Alpha and Street Fighter III took over the new, Street Fighter II stagnated. Super Street Fighter II Turbo was allowed to live in stasis as the pinnacle of Street Fighter II-ness. Ports and enhanced remakes have come and gone in the years since, but Super Street Fighter II Turbo stands as the standard bearer of the sub-franchise. Now, 23 years later, we have another Street Fighter II with another derivative name. Obviously, this one will just build on the others, right? Unfortunately not. We have two new characters in Evil Ryu and Violent Ken, but they feel empty. Ryu, Ken, and Akuma already feel incredibly similar in the original SFII engine, mixing them together doesn’t exactly create originality, but at least there was an attempt. Where the game really slips is in keeping all of the qualities of its successors. Gone are Hyper Street Fighter II’s ability to select a fighting style, and the new stages of Super Street Fighter II Turbo Revival. Once again, we’re exclusively looking back to Super Street Fighter II Turbo for inspiration, ignoring any games released since. Correction: we’re not ignoring ALL of the games released since. Much of the art and sound of the new title come directly from 2008’s Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix. For those who don’t remember the HD Remix, it was a downloadable-only release marketed at tournament players who needed a version of Street Fighter II that wasn’t on aging or dying hardware. In fact, Ultra Street Fighter II looks so similar to the HD Remix that many people accused it of simply being the $10 downloadable Xbox 360 game rereleased for $40 on the Switch. Capcom wouldn’t do that, right?

Remember, not long ago, when Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap was released on modern consoles? As a retro gamer, it was a love letter to my childhood. They kept the original game, the original graphics, the original sound, and gave it all a facelift that made it beautiful to look at and easy to play. I called it “retro done right.” I don’t want to say that Ultra Street Fighter II is the opposite of that. Unfortunately, I’m struggling for a nicer way to put it. I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve bought Street Fighter II over the last 26 years. I’ve already hit my quota on Graham’s Number jokes for this decade, so let’s just say it’s a lot. Despite the mediocre packaging and dull presentation, there’s a reason I keep buying it: nearly 30 years later, Street Fighter II is still a great game. Judging Street Fighter II on its merits is like judging Shakespeare. It’s been done, we already know that score. Today, the question isn’t ‘is Street Fighter II a good game,’ it’s ‘is this version of Street Fighter II worth me replacing my previous version?’ Do you already own a copy of Street Fighter II? If so, I’m hard pressed to recommend Ultra. Do you own a console other than a Switch? Again, I’m finding it difficult to recommend Ultra. Wii and Wii U owners can get perfectly playable Virtual Console versions of the game for under $10, PS3 and Xbox 360 owners can get the previous HD Remix (which, at the time of this writing, is on sale for only $2.50). PS2 and Xbox owners can get the previous Anniversary Collection which included Hyper Street Fighter II. There are so many versions of Street Fighter II out there that are perfectly functional, and Ultra just doesn’t bring enough to the table to justify its existence. Bottom line: if Capcom had released this as a $10 downloadable game, like they did on Xbox 360 and PS3, I’d recommend it in a heartbeat. As it is, I can only really recommend this for the people who live in Switch commercials, and bring their Switch consoles to impromptu rooftop parties. For the rest of us, it just makes more sense to stick with the version of the game you inevitably already have.

#Nintendo #Switch #Capcom #Street Fighter #Street Fighter II

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shewasnumberone · 7 years

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1-65

Oh boy. Okay. Here are the answers for the two anons that asked for all of them, anyone and everyone spending their Valentine’s Day on Tumblr, and for Maddie, who specifically requested #47. Get ready for a long post about my love life.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? I can’t tell. I’ll keep you posted.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? Yes.

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? 3 years.

4: Have you ever changed for someone? Changed for someone, no. Changed because of someone, yes.

5: How is your relationship with your ex? Fine.

6: Have you ever been cheated on? No.

7: Have you ever cheated? Never.

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? I’m not a fan of making judgments on/about people based off of what they’re ‘well known for’ in the public eye. It all depends on the person, our relationship, and the situation.

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? Having each other’s backs, through thick and thin. But it’s all important, communication and respect and all of that. There can’t just be a ‘most’ important part, it’s pretty fluid. But having a sense of comradery seems to encompass a lot of importance, at least by my definition.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I don’t think I could ever be a fling person, but I’m also not one for the crying in the rain, ‘I would die for you, Riley’ level of relationship seriousness. Give me the fun and casualness of the fling with the commitment and adoration of the serious relationship, and we’ll call it a deal.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? Ross Geller has given me a distaste of “breaks”, and if we’re talking about that kind of break then I’m against them, because fuck Ross let’s be real.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? Zero. Not the hookup kind of gal.

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? I regret not saying enough.

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? When they’re legal and consenting.

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”? In some cases. If you’re like 30 and dating someone that’s 38 or 43 or whatever, I get it, age is just a number. But if you’re 18 and dating someone that’s like 27 that’s where it gets dicey because there’s a big power imbalance and it could go real bad real quick.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”? Alexis will accuse me of being an emo if I answer this question.

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? I’m not sure if it’s my cup of tea, but I’ve had friends meet their s.o. online and they’re perfectly happy, so yeah why not.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Being a Donald Trump supporter.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? If the other person is not interested/invested in the relationship anymore and expresses that. I’m one of those people that works until a problem’s fixed, especially if I love the person, so I’d need them to say it’s time to end it. And even though I’m a fixer I’d respect that.

20: Are you currently in a relationship? No. Happy Valentine’s Day.

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? Yes.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? If you’re not dating someone you consider a friend: yikes. I think dating friends is nice because you know the person, you know their personality, and you know what they value. It’s a safer bet, dating a friend.

23: How many relationships have you had? Oh, a few here, a few there, you know how it goes.

24: Do you think love can last forever? Yes.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? I recently watched that episode of Community where Betty White attacks Jeff for saying that respect conquers all over weaponry, so for the sake of avoiding a snarem noose-wielding Betty White, I’m going to say no.

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? Nah. I love my parents, but some lessons you just have to learn by yourself.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? It doesn’t always make sense, but if it makes you happy don’t lose it.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? Yes.

29: What do you notice first about another person? Their eyes.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? I’m not one for labels.

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? No.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No.

33: Do you want to get married one day? Maybe. I don’t know. Irrelevant.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? No thank you. There are endless tattoos you could get that can express your love for someone; tattooing a name seems like such a poor decision.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yes.

36: Are you still a virgin? Who cares.

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? Personality.

38: Do you enjoy love films? I love all films.

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? Yes.

40: Have you ever had a valentine? Yes.

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”? Anything anywhere is the perfect date if you’re with the perfect person.

*Edit: after telling Alexis this, I got yelled at. “That is the most emo shit. Emo motherfucking emo shit.”

42: Have you ever read “Romeo and Juliet”? Freshman year high school English, coming in clutch. Not my favorite of Shakespeare’s works.

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? Friends, because whoever your dating should be considered part of that group.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? Yes.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? Awkwardly worded question, but sure. I’m not interested in any of my current friends, but they’d all be a delight to date. Hit them up, folks.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? I don’t think so?

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite? Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss, of course. @iknewiwouldregretthis I hate to be predictable.

48: What’s your favorite love song? “Passenger Seat” by Death Cab for Cutie, at least for now. It’s hard to pick just one song, but that’s a song that makes me love a lot of things. A lot of feelings and history attached to that one. Also because I just learned it on piano.

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes.

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are? Because I’m an absolute disaster scene.

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? I hate this question.

52: Are you good at giving other people advice regarding dating/ relationships? I think so, but I guess that’s not really up for me to determine.

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single? Nah. If you’re happy I’m happy for you.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? I’ve never really seen the appeal, but I’m not a huge social media person in the first place.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? No.

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? I hope not.

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? I don’t think considering suicide or suicidal ideation ‘silly’ in any situation is ever warranted.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? Choosing dominant or submissive is way to black and white for me. I’m 50 shades of Grey baby lmaooooooooo go see Lego Batman in theaters now.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary? I don’t remember.

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships? They’re not for me, but you do you.

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family? This is a tricky one, because it’s definitely situational. Family is important, of course, but I’ve known people whose family situations have seriously sucked and their s.o. has helped provide them a safe place/peace of mind when their family couldn’t and/or wouldn’t. So I guess it all depends.

62: How do you define “cheating”? I don’t know if cheating has one singular definition for me. It’s relationship-relationship dependent. For me cheating is more of the physical stuff with someone else, but I don’t know. I’m lucky that I haven’t had to think about this in too much detail. Just be committed.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? Ask someone who watches porn.

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated? Yeah. Love your person like it’s Valentine’s Day every day.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”? Sure.

Once again, apologies for the long post, but cheers friends. I hope you had a lovely Valentine’s Day. Don’t be strangers.

#sending much love to my people today #Hope you all are doing good :)#long post my bad #anon

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