#in the real world none of this is okay

[knowlesian]

okay: i’ve done the toe scene from several thematic angles already, but i think a more granular text read is worth doing, because there are some very understandable misinterpretations of this scene floating about that rely on personal feelings and real world standards vs what the text gives us.

now, to be clear about something that feels... sort of obvious, but i will say anyway: when viewed in real life terms, the toe scene is very different. it’s bad to sneak up on people and cut off their toe in the night and make them eat said toe.

like, super really bad. for many reasons. we should not do such things, i do not endorse them. that’s legally and morally wrong and also, gross. yucky disgusting, in point of fact. 

but you have to meet fiction where it’s at to analyze it from a ‘what’s the text trying to convey, what’s going on in-world’ level. 

and in ofmd’s world, stede wasn’t super phased about ed’s face/off plan, lucius whacked jim in the head with a big branch trying to run away and then didn’t really bat an eyelash at jim stuffing him in a box and planning to murder him, etc. this is a world of outsized comical things happening, some of them violent. it’s like gonzo getting stretched on the rack in muppet treasure island— if we take that as the real world equivalent and go ‘gonzo is secretly traumatized, even if he’s grinning and yelling POOOOODLEY POODLEY POODLEY!!!’, it’s missing the specific rules the story is playing by.

we have to hold the standards of the text in place when it’s not the ‘i know this isn’t canon’s take, but this is how i want to play with the paper dolls anyway as is my right’ headcanon lane. which is not to devalue said lane— love me some of that lane, but it is a different lane.

now, all that said: within canon, we are not meant to be like ‘yay ed! good job! this is a thing we should root for and a good choice! do it more, this is actually good for anybody involved!’ it’s a choice ed makes in full possession of his faculties, and it is a bad one.

however: the toe scene doesn’t come out of nowhere, and the text does not set it up as a method of real punishment or act of singular brutality.

in e9, ed says he’s tired of “making some poor bloke eat his own toes as a laugh.” and drinking all day. and biting the heads off turtles. you know! just normal stuff. (he also says he wants to be just edward, which implies those activities are not what he considers just being himself which is sort of beside the point here, but a very deft piece of writing that i love and wanted to shout out.)

this show is very, very careful with wording in important moments, even while they allowed for an amazing amount of very cool improv to breathe in between those moments. arguing for a lack of intentionality in random areas seems to be a little bit of an odd stance— we all seem to agree they were very careful and thoughtful in general.

so ed tells us there: cutting off multiple toes and making somebody eat them was something that happened enough he brought it up alongside something as commonplace as drinking all day/turtle head mastication, and it was considered ‘a laugh’.

now, i’m with stede (and the overall narrative) when i say where’s the laugh in that? once again: i do not endorse the cutting off of toes. only you can prevent weird toe crimes, by not fucking doing them.

but e9 contextualizes this within the world of ofmd for us. when ed was hiding in plain sight under the mantle and then the legend of blackbeard, he cut off toes for a laugh. it seems like he never actually liked it that much via ‘poor bloke’, but either way the text has told us: blackbeard cut off toes and made people eat them, casual-like and often enough it’s mentioned in the same breath as going on a bender. the text reaffirms this in specific through ed in e9 and in general in e8 through jack.

so, that leads me to izzy. who has lived with and served under blackbeard for years, and who tells us he was initially attracted to that legend when he mentions becoming ed’s first mate in e4. 

izzy says he was “honored to work for the legendary blackbeard. the most brilliant sailor i had ever met.”

again, the wording is precise: izzy just told us he first met blackbeard. the legendary blackbeard, to be exact, and the most brilliant sailor izzy had ever met. 

so when they met ed was already a brilliant sailor. a legend with a name already made and established, one izzy was attracted to and wanted to work for.

izzy is not so hot at defining his subjective emotional realities or those of the people around him (or... noticing them happening at all) but we see no evidence he is incapable of recalling general timeline of empirical events— in fact, he accurately assesses the passage of literal time as a plot point but misreads the emotional room over and over as well in the same function, so the show is careful with this as they are careful with just about everything.

so izzy wanted to work for a legend. the text tells us so, and i want to be understanding about missing that subtlety in wording and wanting to create a backstory where ed and izzy built blackbeard together. in a vacuum, there’s nothing wrong with that! however, we don't live in a vacuum, we live in a society (tm), and giving izzy credit for ed’s past and his history and efforts unfortunately ends up unconsciously echoing some of the very same patterns the show is deconstructing by purposefully having izzy do that very thing.

because why would we think ed needed izzy to build blackbeard? on this show, of all shows, why would the text be implicitly arguing that ed needed a white man to help create his legend? that he was not smart and careful and talented enough to become the legendary blackbeard on his own, without izzy to guide his steps and keep him safe?

to be honest, on a less careful show, one that emulates old patterns instead of examining and then breaking them, aka ...most shows? i think that would be the story.

ofmd is much more self-aware, as far as i can tell. izzy tells us he wanted to work for a legend and a brilliant sailor; why would we not just believe the characters when they say ed became all that on his own, and izzy was drawn to the legend because ed is just that skilled despite any given limitation the world/his own mind or body puts on him?

that’s not a question i’m asking facetiously. there’s a reason ancient aliens-type shows and theories exist and those kind of people are very rarely like ‘i bet these ancient white people had no fucking idea what they were doing and needed aliens to teach them how to build their massive and technologically advanced civilizations’. sometimes they do argue that! i don't want to argue in bad faith, myself. it does happen on occasion that the accidental condescension gets spread around— but if you look at the bigger picture, there’s a clear pattern in which groups people find it hard to believe did anything impressive all on their own.

and again: i get missing the subtlety here, just like i get missing that fang’s izzy spewing out both ends anecdote is a set-up for a montezuma’s revenge/overall izzy is a metaphor colonizer stuff. i actually missed the montezuma joke myself on first watch, so i’m not out to scold anybody or to be like ‘fuck you for not knowing any of this already’; i’m just trying to point out the fly in the ointment, and hope people think deeper about this stuff before firing off a take that echoes these patterns on accident.

okay, all that said: back to the text and the toe itself.

it's very understandable to process the toe scene as a punishment. ed says threaten me again and more toes WILL BE TAKEN as he does it, which when removed from the larger context of eating toes tuesday being a regular thing in ed and thus also izzy’s old life, seems much more intense. 

not to mention that’s how any normal human would react to what the fuck happens there. i myself would be HORRIFIED, once again i do not endorse non-consensual toe cannibalism and have no comment on any consensual versions other than ‘yeah, i read that hannibal fic too, and it was weird then hate to kink shame but i do not wish to have my toe cut off so i may consume it. please stop asking me about toe cannibalism as anything but thematic meat. this is a strange place to find myself in.’

but izzy is not us, the audience. izzy is a daddy moaning little nightmare. he wants to touch fire: he is the least healthy masochist on gay god’s green earth and the deep blue sea. he is weeeeeird about this shit and has never even heard of the acronym ss&c, let alone rack. 

he is the sort of man who is like ED. BE A TOE CUTTING LEATHER DADDY. THAT IS WHAT IS COOL AND FUN FOR ALL OF US, NOBODY LOSES HERE. LOL EXCEPT ME! I LOSE A TOE, AND I MAKE IT EVEN WEIRDER WHEN I REFUSE TO BE ANYTHING BUT THRILLED ABOUT IT.

within the world ofmd created, they made sure to set up that Ye Olde Blackbearde cut off toes for a laugh. and one episode after they carefully gave us that precedent, izzy thrust a monstrous caricature of ed in his face and said: this is blackbeard. by no logical leap could izzy possibly be ignorant of the forced toe-eating, regularly done as just a fun little game to play at sea, just like drinking all day, or biting the heads off turtles. not if he’s known ed for years and was attracted to the legend of a man who did shit like that.

so izzy is saying to ed: be this guy again. the narrative made sure we know part of that is being the guy who casually cuts off toes for a laugh.

so when izzy smiles that big ridden hard and put away wet smile and proclaims hey la, hey la my boyfriend’s back? he's being sincere. he wanted ed to be the guy who cuts off toes like it’s not a thing again, and edward did that for him. he’s been reassured that the old blackbeard is himself again, and that’s why he says so. 

(and that’s why canon set it up so that we would know: this toe thing is an old, established bit, which was not done as anything but a fun little prank.)

now, if anybody wants to write fic in the real world logic applies au, i will not poop upon that party. that’s not my issue, in part because i also think there’s utility to saying yeah but counterpoint, canon: i do what i want. 

my angle is that if we talk textual analysis and actual canon, we have to meet stories and characters on their level and look at the world from their perspective. 

ed and izzy (and jack, which is a lot of his narrative utility in e8 beyond just throwing a wrench in the works and setting up the arc with the navy and thus endgame, fuuuuuck me running these writers are just ridiculously good) both reaffirm this, in their separate ways.

textually, the person who most hates the toe scene is ed. izzy said be the guy cut toes off again; ed said he doesn’t want to do that. that’s the text itself, no extrapolation.

now, having said all that: i hope and assume izzy will come to realize this shit is very weird and bad behavior, knock it off and then course correct. 

to own my personal bias, my activist fantasy is not that men like izzy— or my personal izzys, for values of people who actively hurt me in specific— suffer or that they feel exactly what they made me feel. my fantasy is they wake up one morning, look at me, and go well fuck. i’ve been kinda shitting the bed here, huh? i’m gonna fight for my natural allies now, not against them. solidarity!!!! then i am validated, they can become happier people, and there’s one more of Us and one less of Them. the better world i’m fighting for ultimately wins, in that fantasy.

i’m not saying that’s where anyone else has to be, to be clear; it’s just where i’m at.

so when i try to read the tea leaves on the potential of that being what happens with izzy, i could 100000000% be reading in what i would like to see and not what is there. that’s always a thing that could happen, on any given prediction, and to say otherwise would be silly.

however: when it comes to the toe and its precedent and context, that’s not attempting to suss out future movement. that’s reading the text with my own biases acknowledged and set to the side as much as possible, and trying to see what the characters of this world, with this world’s rules feel about what happened vs what i would feel, in my world with my rules.

because, i must reiterate to close: oh GOD, i do not endorse the nonconsensual cutting off of toes. just don’t do it.

tldr: it’s important to recognize the tropes we might be reinforcing on accident, and though the toe scene is horrifying real world terms in terms of how izzy the character in the text’s world processes it, the toe is ed coming through for him and being the blackbeard of the old days— who we were purposefully told used to regularly cut off toes and feed them to people as a laugh.

...and just. because i think i might have to, just one final time for good measure: please don’t cut off people’s toes. nothing in this piece is an endorsement of doing that in our real world. it's bad.

#our flag means death #like: look. please do not cut off toes i am begging people not to misunderstand me #in the real world none of this is okay #but in the world of the show (which is the world i am analyzing) and not of headcanon #they gave us all this context and setup for a reason #also: i know nobody is consciously being all ancient aliens about ed and izzy #and yet... it is happening #everybody's gotta do their own thing! i am not fun police here #but the pattern exists and it is what it is #and if your fun means ignoring why exactly people like me hate ancient aliens #then i think that's an indication to consider: why is my fun not fun if i'm honest about history at the same time #and does that mean anything else? #anyway yes now back to lucius and pete and how stede has filled the ship with chintz #but to keep it real they fuck on the floor #my ofmd meta

[ofswordsandpens]

I'm sincerely very happy for anyone who is enjoying the show but every time I see takes that the show has improved the book characterizations or that the book characters are underdeveloped in comparison to the show...

#our experiences are very different lmao #pjo show crit #sure the show isn't completely out yet #but id argue that the characters (namely the trio) seem way more developed and well-rounded in the book by this point in time (episode 4) #and look im not saying every change the show has made is bad #but by and far there has yet to be a change to characterization that feels like an IMPROVEMENT from the source material lmao #the closest contender I'd say is show Percy does seem a tad angrier than book Percy #but again I wouldn't call that an improvement... its just different and I think that /change/ works because it feels like the same essence #but even that has had some issues because I feel like the show has inadvertently cut down some of Percy's canon book empathy here and there #I think the show has nailed Annabeth's pride and intelligence and her warped worship of her mother #... but they've also made her hyper competent to the point that she's not making half of the mistakes she did in the book #which ISNT good because book annabeth is smart but she isn't infallible #its a big point that she has the theoretical intelligence but none of the real world experience/application #she gets tricked by medusa and goes to visit the Arch just cause she loves architecture and that's okay!! she's twelve and a nerd! #I also dont like that they've cut/toned down her little crush on Luke #actually they've not even showcased the familial bond between annabeth and Luke either in the show so like lmao #and then grover #by now grover's fear of failure and repeating this past mistakes and wanting a license has already been acknowledged in the books at least #in the show?? not so much #and his canon book suspicions and wariness of medusa... were given to annabeth #like medusa in the book was Grover's moment to shine cause his instincts were right! #and in the book fight he even very intentionally attacked medusa #but his highlights there were cut completely in the show #and finally sally #...idk who that is in the show but that's NOT my sally jackson #percy jackson #mine

[modern-inheritance]

I can't stop thinking that the way MIC!Arya announces she and Firnen are at Ilirea to give Murtagh and Thorn a heads up is to do the mental equivalent of flicking crumpled pieces of straw wrapper at the back of his head.

Arya's childhood was certainly not the normal for elf children, not with the fall of the Riders occuring and having lasting effects, but she did have Fäolin to play with and spent a lot of time with him. The teasing and rough and tumble play that she got into with Fäolin and the continued 'raising' of her the Wolfcats did, combined with influences from Glaedr, Brom and Rhunön (Oromis was the most traditional of the bunch so he didn't contribute much to the more wild sides of Arya's personality and mannerisms) gave her this very rough around the edges, teasing, everyone is a kid brother when they need to be and everyone is a big brother when they need to be sort of vibe of dealing with younger peers once she battle bonded with them.

She knows that Murtagh's upbringing probably wasn't that great, and that he probably never had friends his own age that were real friends. So she just treats him like he's one of the Wolfcats from so long ago, would give him noogies if he were shorter, give him a hug if he let her, and if they were kids it would be just an immediate 'hi! can i see your room? YOU HAVE STAR CHARTS ON YOUR CEILING THATS SO COOL! AND A CHEMISTRY SET?!'

I just want Arya to give Murtagh a chance to experience that easy friendship.

oh god damn it.

Toph. Arya Toph style friendships him.

*Chucks laptop over shoulder*

#eragon #inheritance cycle #the cyclists #modern inheritance #the inheritance cycle #the world of eragon #ket's modern inheritance cycle #arya #arya drottningu #murtagh (eragon) #murtagh #murtagh morzansson #murtagh (inheritance) #Arya never really grows up not for like another century and neither does anyone else because we need to let them be kids okay #like none of them even Arya had a REAL childhood or teenage years #eragon is actually the most well adjusted holy shit how did that happen #anyway arya's Murtagh's annoying but very caring older brother type #if nasuada and thorn don't get to whoever bullies him they'd find her around the corner with firnen and some brass knuckles

[sallytwo]

every 3-6 months my opinon on nick locarno does a complete 180. it’s like hey buddy ✌️😁

#and that false friend kept his back turned…. #here’s what it boils down to #1) pilots and esp young hotshot jet pilots are supposed to be reckless and fun and dangerous. read the right stuff #and if they get killed it’s just cuz ‘they didn’t have what it takes’ you constantly have to prove yourself. READ THE RIGHT STUFF #2) this in general is demonstrated in starfleet cuz the officers that take big risks are the ones who get rewarded for it. we see that in tn #except none of the ‘heros’ ever die or get reprimanded for their choices. cuz they always end up okay #2) nick is like 21-22 and it seems unfair to judge him super hardly for the accident #because it’s DEMONSTRATED that starfleet actively encourages this type of behavior in officers and that definetly bleeds over to the cadets #3) and well. we’ve gotten to the biggest one. even if rationally he should be a sympathie character that i can forgive. #the thing is. that you look up to your cadet officers like they are your whole entire world. they’re your leaders you’d do anything for them #but they’re also your friends. and even if nick is in the clear. i cannot for the life of me imagine being betrayed like that #BY specifically your squad leader. like with officers it’s impartial they don’t realllyyyy care about you. BUT A CADET OFFICER. #YOURE SUPPOSED TO TRUST THEM THWYRE SUPPOSED TO STAND BY YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!!! ugh #which is why first duty is sooo rough for me cuz like. man you can’t not empathize with wesley there i can’t imagine if that happened to me #i would kill myself for real. anyway. moral of this is i’m a nick hater again hashtag hater

[lanshappycorner]

Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)

#im going to ramble about a very touchy subject here but it pertains to 🐉♠️ which i am very open about shipping #apparently its Problematic or whatever 😭😭???? according to Some People #you know ive been thinking abt this for a while now but people really like spouting rhetoric abt how this or that is problematic without- #-really considering the specifics of why things are bad. things being bad are not the same as things possibly being uncomfortable #like people have an aversion to adult/minor ships or incest ships because these are real and tangible things that happen and are disgusting #i do feel like people have freedom over what they want to consume/create in fiction although those topics are an ick to me and i avoid it #but also you have to understand people dont like it primarily because of the realistic aspect of it and how it connects to reality #not a one to one but because reality already has these preexisting issues we naturally have an aversion to it #you cannot apply the same logic to like a dragon man x human ship because a dragon man is not going to scoop you from the sky #the ramifications of shipping an immortal and human are nonexistant and do not pertain to reality and cannot be judged on the same scale💀 #well beside from the logic 🐉 is old in body but his mind develops in the way a fae would. and he is described to be young in fae #so up until now i assumed the normal assumption was to say that he is around ~18 in fae yrs by how he interacts with others in his yr #🐉 is like old in the way where hes lived for a long time and understands the passage of time #but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀 #like are we playing the same game?? if he was a well adjusted fully developed adult with a complete understanding of the world and stuff #like idk trein. none of the events in ch 7 would be happening. its kind of like a huge part of his character that despite his physical age #he IS still learning as he IS still young #i could go into a analysis of his character but thats for another time </33 #anyways i see people . primarily young people. telling their mutuals you can or cant ship this and that #and im like its okay to not like ships if you personally find it uncomfortable but to police ur friends...for ships that arent even 'bad' #its insane to me...how do u live like this? #people really need to start thinking about the nuances and why things are the way they are in regards to fiction #instead of buying into that weird pr*ship/ant*ship thing 😭 ive always hated it its so dumb. my university professors wouldve hated it #theres no nuance like...none. personally i also think its why people have low reading comprehension these days too tbh #life is about looking at various viewpoints and coming up with your own opinion #not 'picking a side'💀 learn to form your own opinions. talk to people around you about it. do not constrict your opinions to black/white #its an extremely dangerous mindset to have even outside of literature and it makes you very susceptible to dangerous ideas/propaganda #anyways what im getting at is learn to have educated discussions with others and come up with your own opinions instead of picking a side #btw there is no right/wrong side in literary discussions. there is no good/bad side either. whatever you come up w someone will disagree #thats why its important to just believe what YOU believe in (and not parrot others💀). and also be open to change

[ohitslen]

Will always remain confused as to why people will fight over ships as if we weren’t all wrong about them, except for the incredibly rare occasions where the ship becomes canon, and even then you should just mind your damn business because in all seriousness. Why wouldn’t you.

#in awe at the thought that ppl will do death threats or dox others over stuff like this like— excuse me. #I have to admit. I get fixated with one ship and I get tunnel vision abt them #so any other kind I rarely ever consume. but when I see other ships I’m like yeah I can see it that’s cute just not my cup of tea #and then I just keep going in my life. because it Really Is Not That Deep #why would you get out of your way to give your very unsolicited opinion about something fictional that is #also. based from something fictional I’m just like #does someone know of a study or something that makes an analysis over that phenomenon bc it’s so interesting #like I’m sorry but none of us here is right about this stuff okay we are ALL making FAN FICTIONAL content here #the way some ppl consume their media seems so boring bc of how awfully serious they make it out to be in the worst possible way #boring as in. why would you bitter yourself over something that supposedly brings you joy #fandom is usually a place for escapism why make it another issue in an already complicated world with complicated issues cmon bro get real #lenssi rambles

[bloodbot-brian]

When my brain actually comes up with a good idea for my mechsona FUCKK

#okay so I’m still not sure about the mech #I want to to be all sans something #because guys I’m so autistic about Brian my mechsona needs to be like him I’m sorry #then we can be girlfriends with understanding each others mechs and shit #anyways #thinking all sans blood because it would be cool and I could do some horror shit with that #not too sure #anyways I got the backstory and name down hehe #vamps name is chefbot Jeremiah I KNOW ITS LIKE DRUMBOT BRIAN LET ME BE AUTISTIC THIS IS FOR ME AND ONLY ME #it’s so my daydreams can be more concrete I don’t actually think I’ll ever do anything with her but idk #anywayssss #so basically rot was shot in the head because my main mech was brain before Carmilla decided to get a little silly with it #oh also this is while there’s only nastya and jonny #and yknow shit goes wrong because she didn’t account for my disabilities and with the changes i have like the Uhm what’s it called #autistic regression #and pain gets worse #so basically what happened to me in real life after covid but I just got mechanised instead #but yeah I am with them for a bit #not the most stable mech in the world but none of them are #I struggle a lot with my disabilities and never dying and travelling so much #and then we visit a planet #the first one I go and explore and I get stuck somewhere like in a forest #I’m in water oh shit wait I started using third person pronouns and went to first uhmmm #anyways DECAYS in like a little pond in a forest stuck by like branches or something #and Carmilla nastya and jonny just leave because they assume bat just went off because they couldn’t find bat #and then thousands of years go by blah blah blah #and then the mechs (now without Carmilla and with the full crew) find me again somehow #and jonny and nastya recognise me and have like an oh shit moment #and then I join them and they help me get back to normal #bear growls

[headofthedemonn]

It's very seldom my heart agrees with my mind but I know he's not coming back.

#captain's log #I've never once felt desirable he told me so many times how beautiful i was he asked me why did i hate myself #and who hurt me so much he made me feel seen because he told me everything they did to me wasn't my fault he said stop calling yourself ugly #please don't hurt yourself anymore okay? im here for you I'd never leave you like they did okay? never I'm not like them i promise #i love you. but none of it was true finding out the truth made me hate myself even more how stupid could i have been to think someone #love me i wanted to believe it so bad no one has ever said that to me so of course i wanted to hold on with an iron fist but everything #but i was just a game to him he didn't care about me i honestly think he hated me to my core #i don't think i have a chance at finding love but that's all i want i could easily fall in love with a boy or girl or whatever but someone #lied about loving me and caring about me so am i doomed to chase things i don't really want money? status? success? #sure money is needed to survive the world but why can't i have what my grandparents had or other people have had love and it lasts still #i just wanted to feel it in my heart so much i was willing to do anything but i was so fucking stupid i should have known better #i thought it was real i didn't think he was being dishonest because i was telling the truth the whole time so i expected him to do the same #i don't think i have a chance but if i do idk i don't think i can survive getting hurt again #i just want something real and someone real but that's far too much to ask

[welcometogrouchland]

Pacing back and forth rapidly rambling to my parents like a mad man trying to figure out whether or not I experienced sexism at film school today or if these guys are just assholes in a different way

#ramblings of a lunatic #like they made a couple comments about how one woman in the department (who's always stressed bc she has a busy job)- #-clearly doesn't ''like guys'' and gave them the wrong equipment to set them up for failure (??? okay???) #and proceeded to organise things so that. none of the other members (who were all girls and here's where i can't tell if it's coincidence) #-had ANYTHING to do on set. like didn't ask them to set up tripods (we all went to thr class where you learn to set up tripods...) #didn't ask them even to hold things or plug things in (they did ask me but only bc i spoke up and volunteered multiple times) #didn't even really talk to us much bc they were off in their own world setting up equipment (that we didn't need btw) #and i can't tell if they were just really focused or being exclusionary! #and i don't think there's a clear answer to any of this. if it did happen it's almost definitely unintentional. #it might've just been bad optics. again unintentional. and i don't know how the other girls felt or if they were bothered #so i can't claim to speak to collective experience #I'm just. I'M JUST PACING WONDERING IF I'M CRAZY #also i told them the one day i was available was today and they showed up and proceeded to have nothing for me (or any of the girls) to do #and now i don't even know what i could do. maybe ask the editor if they want an edit assist bc that's one of the roles #siiighhhh #also feel it's important to mention that one of the guys was on the autism spectrum #so i can't tell how much of it was exclusion bc he thinks he's the only one competent enough to do these tasks (and that coincidentally- #-the only other guy in the group is also the only one competent enough to help him) #or if he was just having a relatable social ineptitude moment where he didn't realise the rest of us felt useless and excluded #and i don't know how much that context effects the end result BC I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS REAL OR IF I'M JUST A HASHTAG FEMINAZI SJW LIB #UGH #(use of the word feminazi was ironic parody of the way sexists speak pls pls pls don't think i ever talk like that irl)

[tremerechantry]

You identify with Patrick Bateman because "sigma male manipulator emotionless masculinity based schizo murderer", I identify with Patrick Bateman because of his fundamental lack of self esteem--the fact that he feels so empty inside that he has to turn to absolutely disgusting competitive materialism in an effort to maintain any sense of self worth. His clothes, his furniture, his belongings, the music he listens to, the food he eats, the shows he sees, the politics he'll pay only basic lip service to and then contradict three sentences later, the women he fucks, his career, his degree... these are the only things that he has in terms of an identity, and he reacts absolutely violently to anyone that threatens that. He kills Paul Owens because he threatens Patrick's sense of status. Patrick kills gay men who threaten his masculinity. The ex-girlfriend who threatens his image as a perfect specimen. Prostitutes and the homeless, because his ability to kill them and get away with it bolsters his own sense of wealth and status.

And he thinks of himself as a killer because killing is something he alone in his circle supposedly does. He continuously pushes the envelope, committing increasingly more horrific and blatant murders, because this is something he can be noticed for. He begins viewing his own reality as if he were watching a movie... filling up the emptiness inside him with delusions of grandeur. And if anyone around him could actually notice the murders, he would gain some sense of recognition, but no one does. Even if they actually do happen in the novel, the only person that actually remarks on them is Patrick himself. Even if the outside world pays absolutely no attention to what Patrick is capable of, he knows what he is on the inside.

But inside doesn't matter.

So we're not the same. And I think you're pretty stupid.

#Notable also that the only people he seems not to kill whatsoever are those in love with him. thus boosting his self esteem #I'm... such a Patrick Bateman as an artist truther #like... the murders are his artistic output #he is otherwise a completely generic person who means nothing. but he genuinely takes solace in his identity as this 'artist' #but I think in the course of the novel it's revealed that MUCH LIKE ME most of his artistic output happens in his mind #so it doesn't matter you know? Inside doesn't matter. Patrick has all these ideas and fantasies and creativity inside him #and none of it is real until he actually puts it out into the real world. which he fails to #and inside doesnt matter. inside doesnt matter. the novel is just his process of giving up on himself as an artist and resigning himself #to the fact that HE IS NOTHING #he has absolutely no worth because the one thing he prides himself on is not actually being seen by anyone else...... #like he is just like me for real. the continuous rambling about things you're an 'expert' on #that are blatantly false or misunderstood because you are stupid really #but you can't accept that because the idea of being a person that Knows Things About This is too important to your self worth #because the only way you can respect yourself is if everyone sees all the great things you have on the outside. #got to make it clear on the outside. because inside youre hollow and there's nothing actually good there. #so your degree your grades your weight your looks your intelligence your trivia knowledge your artistic output your ability to just #KEEP MAKING THINGS ALL THE TIME #how much you can make people laugh. how well read you are (you arent really) how good your taste in music is #this is what matters and you need this to be noticed by other people all the time because inside you arent anything really #but its okay if inside doesnt matter. youre not fucking pretty on the inside

[bisexualrapline]

okay i was really going to try to keep the positive vibes but i have so much to say

#so i’m just gonna do it here in tags because it’s driving me insane #so many of the people saying they’re disappointed are like dynamite era onwards armys #being like oh we wanted to experience a real full kpop album comeback etc etc #like first of all even before y’all found them tannies were already not a typical kpop group #second of all??? a whole be album happened??? #i know it was only 7 songs and a skit (and one of those songs was dynamite) #but like that was a full album comeback? and it was recent. #third of all like if you’re here (an army) for the ‘whole kpop experience’ then i’m sorry to break it to you bestie #but you’re in the wrong place. bts surpassed the genre of kpop years ago #i’m not even a bts popper i’m just telling you guys as it is bts are one of the world’s biggest artists. #not the world’s biggest kpop artists- the biggest artists period. #they abandoned the formula starting with dynamite and i don’t see them going back to it why would they?????? everything since dynamite #has only brought them more recognition and prestige so like??? what reason would they have to go backwards #okay fourth and last of all. i’m not trying to say that you’re not allowed to be disappointed or you’re not allowed to feel your feelings #if you feel that way then you feel that way #i’m just confused at the expectations y’all place on them #like if bts is the only ‘kpop’ group you’re into then how do you know what a ‘real comeback’ even looks like in this day and age???? #anyways. i’ll stop ranting now none of this is coherent i just needed a place to get it off my chest and i’m not putting this shit in my #journal lol #.txt #negativity ish

[instafuck]

hey im really really tired of shows and movies not being able to commit to a plot and just saying “actually the whole world was fake, the actual plot is that the idea of the situation is just fucked up” to justify shitty or incoherent writing can we please just write stories again and stop putting every plot in a computer

#instafuck #like at this point any 'psychadelic' or 'unexplained supernatural' premise to me i am calling being a simulation or simulated reality from #a mile away and im always right. im tired. #just make stories again please... #and it totally undercuts EVERYTHING they wrote #like okay well none of it mattered because these characters werent even themselves they were 5% juice concentrate of one real persons trauma #the worst part is they NEVER even do anything cool w the fact that theyre in the computer!!! #okay then break the game! give me cool as visuals and new world rules give these characters a game to be won or a battle to be fought #dont just hit the power button and turn it off and on again and say oooooh scary!! #how do people not see that this is just 'it was all a dream' and equally as bad

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

forget everything i said about ditching the hestio/reed fic. i'm forced to turn it into a slow burn enemies to lovers fic that will inevitably need like 20k words before i even get to the emotional beats that i was aiming for at the start.

#mimin trying to write #hestioreed #like im still trying to figure out the logistics of hestio getting around to seeing reed's pov and sympathizing with him #and the stockhold syndrome vibes are really leaving a bad taste in my mouth #like reed's not keeping hestio hostage but he may as well be with how much power he has relative to hestio #hestio can run anywhere in the world and never actually escape #like atp their dynamic is incredibly screwed up and hestio is like a pet mouse that some deranged person keeps around just to #see what it will do. if it will die if left alone or if itll flourish or something #but also their potential dynamic afterwards ??!?!??? #reed is the only version of tesilid that is THIS unrestrained #like yeah okay hes trying to kill the world too whatever but also consider: hes doing all sort of other shit too #only version of tesilid that is mean to hestio too or something like that i dont know #s-class heroine spoilers #poor hestio is truly going through it in this fic and always like thiiisss close to a breakdown but tbh so is reed #none of their lives are okay when ailette isnt in the picture lets be real #the strict order is truly kind of fucked for putting them in a world like that

[emeryleewho]

I used to work for a trade book reviewer where I got paid to review people's books, and one of the rules of that review company is one that I think is just super useful to media analysis as a whole, and that is, we were told never to critique media for what it didn't do but only for what it did.

So, for instance, I couldn't say "this book didn't give its characters strong agency or goals". I instead had to say, "the characters in this book acted in ways that often felt misaligned with their characterization as if they were being pulled by the plot."

I think this is really important because a lot of "critiques" people give, if subverted to address what the book does instead of what it doesn't do, actually read pretty nonsensical. For instance, "none of the characters were unique" becomes "all of the characters read like other characters that exist in other media", which like... okay? That's not really a critique. It's just how fiction works. Or "none of the characters were likeable" becomes "all of the characters, at some point or another, did things that I found disagreeable or annoying" which is literally how every book works?

It also keeps you from holding a book to a standard it never sought to meet. "The world building in this book simply wasn't complex enough" becomes "The world building in this book was very simple", which, yes, good, that can actually be a good thing. Many books aspire to this. It's not actually a negative critique. Or "The stakes weren't very high and the climax didn't really offer any major plot twists or turns" becomes "The stakes were low and and the ending was quite predictable", which, if this is a cute romcom is exactly what I'm looking for.

Not to mention, I think this really helps to deconstruct a lot of the biases we carry into fiction. Characters not having strong agency isn't inherently bad. Characters who react to their surroundings can make a good story, so saying "the characters didn't have enough agency" is kind of weak, but when you flip it to say "the characters acted misaligned from their characterization" we can now see that the *real* problem here isn't that they lacked agency but that this lack of agency is inconsistent with the type of character that they are. a character this strong-willed *should* have more agency even if a weak-willed character might not.

So it's just a really simple way of framing the way I critique books that I think has really helped to show the difference between "this book is bad" and "this book didn't meet my personal preferences", but also, as someone talking about books, I think it helps give other people a clearer idea of what the book actually looks like so they can decide for themselves if it's worth their time.

Update: This is literally just a thought exercise to help you be more intentional with how you critique media. I'm not enforcing this as some divine rule that must be followed any time you have an opinion on fiction, and I'm definitely not saying that you have to structure every single sentence in a review to contain zero negative phrases. I'm just saying that I repurposed a rule we had at that specific reviewer to be a helpful tool to check myself when writing critiques now. If you don't want to use the tool, literally no one (especially not me) can or wants to force you to use it. As with all advice, it is a totally reasonable and normal thing to not have use for every piece of it that exists from random strangers on the internet. Use it to whatever extent it helps you or not at all.

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #am writing #books #booklr #fiction #media analysis

[blurred-cat]

so anyway my lyft driver confirmed that the state park i was sleeping in a couple days ago was haunted af which explained what the fuck i thought to have been an auditory hallucination and pressing feeling while sleeping.

#I'm Talking #ghosts #yeah it's okay it's fine #they werent exactly hostile? #but they were pretty upset #and i wanted the screaming to stop #like so bad that i uh............... #anyway the way to tell reality from the dream #is if certain things just dont work how they should (for me at least) #none of my lights working? NONE of them? #yeah definitely not in the real world

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.