#is up with loop. that theory hangout was one thing but like their Whole thing is so mysterious and interesting in that i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

isatswap · 2 months

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(spoilers for isat (in stars and time), full game (technically its like act 3 but also no))

(also death cw)

Siffrin Hangout

TTOS version of the Loop hangout from ISAT

Siffrin: Hi, starlight.

Loop: "So."

Siffrin: So?....

Loop: "Got any theories about the loops I'm stuck in?"

Siffrin: Why would I? You're the one named Loop, you should know more, hahaha!

(Siffrin snickers quietly.)

(This bit is getting old. But what can you do about it.)

Siffrin: Hehe. I'll see what I can do, though. What's your question?

Loop: "Do you know anything that would help?"

Siffrin: That is too broad, starlight. Siffrin: I don't know anything you wouldn't know, as I said before.

Loop: "How can that be?"

(Siffrin just raises his brow.)

Loop: "Aren't you here to help me?" Loop: "Why don't you know more about the loops you're supposed to help me with?..."

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Heh-

Loop: "Don't 'hehehe' me, Siffrin."

Siffrin: Fine. Siffrin: I don't know how to answer that, starlight. Siffrin: You should be grateful you're not alone in this prison, you know. Siffrin: With how you react to things, you would be absolutely miserable alone.

Loop: "..."

Siffrin: Okaaay, fine, I won't just sit here and do nothing. Siffrin: Let's summarise what we know about the loops. Maybe we will find something out!

(You sigh, and nod.)

(Nothing better to do, you suppose.)

Siffrin: So. Siffrin: You're stuck in a timeloop for reasons currently unknown. Siffrin: It starts in Dormont when you wake up, and seem to end when you talk with King.

Loop: "Unless I perish or touch a Tear."

Siffrin: Mhm. Getting frozen is kind of like dying. Siffrin: ...Unless it is in battle. What's up with that?

Loop: (Wait huh? Isn't it because...) "I thought the Tears work differently from time freezing skills?..."

Siffrin: Well, you're the one getting frozen, so you should know. Kind of a weird distinction, but whatever. Siffrin: So, you loop when something stops you from advancing in some way... Siffrin: ... Siffrin: I wonder if other things count as "stopping you from advancing".

Loop: "Like what?"

Siffrin: ...Hm..... Siffrin: What if we would lop your legs off? Would that make you loop? Can't crawl up the whole House, you know.

Loop: (UM.) "We are NOT testing that."

Siffrin: Awww. Would be fun to see you try. But understandable.

(What does THAT mean???)

(But it is interesting, though.)

(What makes the loop actually loop?)

Siffrin: I've mentioned talking to King before. Maybe that somehow counts as something that stops you from advancing?

(Hm....)

(....stops you from advancing where?)

(What goal does that obstruct?)

(Is there something that happens when you talk to him which makes a certain goal impossible to accomplish?)

(...)

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: As you've found out, all this might be the work of Time Craft, a power which should be impossible to wield... Siffrin: But you and The Scary Lady are somehow able to manipulate it.

Loop: (But...) "Is it really manipulating if I can't control it? Sometimes it feels like it wields me instead."

Siffrin: But you can control it, in some capacity. You can choose the place where you loop back to. Except for after the King talk, that always sends you straight to Dormont. Siffrin: And even ignoring that, avoiding death and looping back in time can already count as manipulating Time Craft.

Loop: (But, if Time Craft is too dangerous to even use...) "How did I get that power?"

Siffrin: And how can you relinquish it? Siffrin: Those are very good questions, starlight. But not ones we can answer yet. Siffrin: ... Siffrin: I do wonder about the limitations of your powers, still. Siffrin: I feel like finding out what exactly makes you loop can help you find out quite a lot.

Siffrin: Stardust, we have been talking for a while, so maybe not right now, but... Siffrin: I would like you to hang out with me, when you have time.

Loop: (Huh?) "Hang out?"

Siffrin: I need to test something. And to show you something very important. Siffrin: And also... Siffrin: We never really spent time together, starlight! I'm booored here! Suf-frin, even!

(Siffrin does his usual laugh, but this one seems to have some painful undertones.)

Siffrin: Heh... but I do want to hang out, though. We haven't ever really spoken like people that know eachother, you know?

(That's true... But still weird.)

Siffrin: You can do it later, I'm not in a rush. Siffrin: This might take a while. More than the rest of the day, probably. Siffrin: You probably have something else to do this loop, so I'll wait until you have time. Siffrin: M'kay?

(A theory Siffrin would like to test about the loops? Well that's useful, at least.)

(You should talk to them when you have time.)

Siffrin: Good. I'll be right here, starlight. Siffrin: In the meanwhile... Siffrin: How can I help you on this loop?

Loop: (...)

"We can hang out now."

"What should I do now?"

"Let's talk about something."

"I had a question about..."

"Nah, nothing."

Siffin: Ah. Siffrin: Our theory hangout. Siffrin: Which we can't actually do right now. Not the time for it. Siffrin: How abooout.... early morning tomorrow? After all the Clocktower stuff.

Loop: (Wait....) "You want me to sneak out?"

Siffrin: Yep. And spend a loop with me instead.

(But....)

(You always go to the House, after the Clockower.)

(If you're not there, what will they do without you? What would they think--)

Siffrin: Does it really matter what they think? Siffrin: They won't know after this loop anyway.

Loop: (...)

"It does matter."

"...Guess it doesn't."

Siffrin: Yeah. it does. But nonetheless, that what we have to do.

(Siffrin looks down, with a bit of sadness in his expression.)

Siffrin: You can opt out, still. But I think this is important to do, even if it will require you to abandon your party once.

(Is he that desperate to hang out with you? Or is the theory actually important?....)

Loop: (...)

"I'll come."

"I'll pass, sorry."

(Siffrin finally gets his gaze back onto you.)

Siffrin: Good. I will see you soon, then, I guess.

(You nod.)

(...)

(You spend the night with everyone, like usual.)

(Early in the morning, while everyone else is still sleeping, you quietly slip away and head for the Favor Tree...)

(...But you can't see Siffrin anywhere.)

Siffrin: Up here, dummy.

(Huh? "Up he--")

(Oh. Right. He lives in the crown.)

(You look up.)

(Yep, there he is, waving at you.)

Siffrin: Come up and join me, starlight.

(How?...)

Siffrin: ...Just climb the tree. I know you can.

(You sigh and climb up. Siffrin helps you up slightly.)

Siffrin: Ahh.... Siffrin: Isn't it beautiful, starlight? We are so high up!

(Sure are.)

(You can see the House from up here.)

(...)

(Everyone else will be in the House soon....)

(You try not to think about it.)

Siffrin: Thank you for coming, though. Really. Siffrin: But, it will take some time. And in the end... Siffrin: Well. You know how it goes.

Loop: "Sure do."

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Hm. Siffrin: For such an important meeting, I sure have forgotten to actually prepare anything to talk about. Siffrin: How did I screw this up as well?...

(?)

Siffrin: A-anyway... Hm... Siffrin: Tell me about yourself , starlight! That should be a good topic.

Loop: (Really?) "...I'd rather not."

Siffrin: Hmmmmm? And why is that?

Loop: "Don't you already know me?"

Siffrin: Hm?

Loop: "It just feels like it." Loop: "You know too much about me." Loop: "You know my name, you know how i think..." Loop: "You knew me before we even met, didn't you?"

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Kind of.

Loop: (Kind of?) "Do I know you?"

Siffrin: No, not at all. You haven't even met me once before this. Siffrin: It's not your memory failing you, this time. Siffrin: When we first met under the Favor Tree, that was... That was the first time we've ever seen each other.

(Is that so?)

Loop: "Is that why you're helping me?" Loop: "Because you know me?"

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: No, not at all. Siffrin: I am kind of forced to help you, actually. Siffrin: ...That sounded like I don't like helping you, didn't it? Siffrin: I'm honestly trying to help you, starlight. I hope you believe me when I say that. And don't think I'm the cause of your suffering or something like that. Siffrin: ...do you believe me?

Loop: (...)

"...I do believe you."

"..."

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Hm. That was a surprise. Siffrin: I... wouldn't believe myself, to be honest. Siffrin: Maybe time has made me more jaded than you are. Siffrin: ...Whether you actually believe me or not, I will help you. Siffrin: So you can escape this loop.

Loop: "...So you believe it's possible?" Loop: "For me to escape?"

Siffrin: ...Out of all things, that is the one I am most sure of. Siffrin: You can escape. I can as well.

Siffrin: I know how it feels, you know. Siffrin: Being stuck somewhere. With no hope of escaping. Siffrin: Forced to relive the same events over and over. Siffrin: And when things seem to be better, and the exit is in sight.... Siffrin: Having all of it taken away in a blink of an eye.

Siffrin: Hahaha. Look at me, babbling. Siffrin: Don't pay attention to me. I am.... fine.

(Siffrin looks at the House in the distance.)

(...)

Loop: (...) "What about you? Tell me about yourself?"

Siffrin: .... Siffrin: Nah, I'd rather not, hehe.

(Siffrin gives you a wink with his single eye.)

(Despite yourself, you laugh.)

(You hear Siffrin quietly snickering, as well.)

Siffrin: ...heh... Siffrin: Say, starlight, that reminds me... Siffrin: Can't believe you tried to fish 11 times! You know nothing lives there anymore, right?

(Hey...)

(You and Siffrin animatedly talk about the different things you've done during the loops....)

(It's nice. To be able talk about them with someone.)

(You talk and talk until the sun has risen high above you in the sky....)

Siffrin: ...

(Siffrin's face suddenly get a lot more serious than usual.)

Siffrin: Ah. It should happen soon, now.

Loop: (?) "What will?"

Siffrin: What happens almost every time. The thing I have a theory about.

(...?)

(You raise your finger to ask, and then...)

(NGH!.....)

(You've heard a horrible sound.)

(Your head...)

(You saw... something.)

(Siffrin seems to.... hug themselves under their cloak?....)

Siffrin: Thank you... for hanging out with me... Siffrin: Sorry it's gonna end like this....

(What?...)

(Siffrin diverts his eyes from the House.)

Siffrin: I hoped it wouldn't happen this time. Siffrin: See that light? Siffrin: It's from the Scary Lady's floor. Siffrin: I see it every time you try to fight her. Siffrin: Her opening attack.

(Scary Lady's opening attack?...)

(How long have you been talking to Siffrin?)

(Who was the Scary Lady attacking?)

(Who was she...)

(...)

(The Scary Lady doesn't attack, or really do anything at all, until you reach her.)

(She would only attack if... if someone...)

Siffrin: I can feel it. Every time.

(Siffrin got quieter.)

Siffrin: I know what it does. It makes you see something. Siffrin: A future so terrible, it's enough to bring anyone to their knees.

(...)

(You you can't even hear him anymore.)

(Your friends)

(They were against the Scary Lady just now)

(You know the way to avoid it, you learned how, but)

(but)

(You hear a sharp inhale.)

(You look at Siffrin--)

(Siffrin is looking at you, trying to breathe.)

(In their single eye, you can see despair.)

(Unimaginable terror.)

(Despite him saying nothing, you can almost hear Siffrin say...)

("Please. Just get it. So we can stop this.")

("Don't you understand?")

("DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHO SHE ATTACKED JUST NOW?")

(Tears stars falling from Siffrin's eye. He can barely breathe in, just to say one thing....)

Siffrin: don't you?....

(He hides his face, holding his head.)

(You start screaming.)

(IT'S BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!)

(THEY DIED, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!)

(THEY ARE GONE!!! BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T!!! THERE!!!)

(BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE)

(THEY ARE GONE, BECAUSE OF YOU)

(THEY ARE GONE)

(BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE OF Y

<Loopback.>

(You stumble and fall to your knees.)

(You breathe, harshly, in, and out.)

(...No you don't.)

(You can't take a breath)

(You can't)

Siffrin: Hey.

(Can't)

Siffrin: HEY!

(You look up.)

(Siffrin is standing over you.)

(He sits down.)

Siffrin: Breathe with me.

(Siffrin breathes in, and out, slowly.)

(You try to follow suit.)

(You two do it until your breath stabilises.)

Siffrin: ...Let's go under the Tree. I don't want to be seen by accident.

(You nod, and you both go to your usual spot.)

(After a minute of silence, you finally gather the strength to speak.)

Loop: "...Why?"

Siffrin: ...

(Siffrin does't answer.)

(They don't even look at you.)

Loop: "Did you know this would happen?!"

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: I knew you would loop. I hoped the attack wouldn't happen, but it most certainly would have.

Loop: "What was it for, then? Just to make me suffer?"

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Of course not. I like myself enough to not do that just to make you feel pain. Siffrin: It was to reveal another aspect of your loops.

(Loops?)

(How did that have to do with anything?!)

Siffrin: ...I hoped you would notice yourself. Siffrin: Why did you loop back just now?

Loop: (Huh?) "Because the Lady won, duh."

Siffrin: Why would the Lady winning make you loop? You don't loop back the second you lose the battle against her, right?

Loop: (Don't you?) "I kinda do, though?"

Siffrin: Incorrect, starlight. Siffrin: You loop when you die.

Loop: "Wait-- No, it takes a bit--"

Siffrin: You loop when you die. The fact that the Scary Lady wins is largely irrelevant. Siffrin: But you didn't die just now. Siffrin: So why did you loop?

Loop: "But--"

Siffrin: Same with King. You don't die when you talk to him, I'm pretty sure. Why would you loop, then? Siffrin: Both of these causes seem important to figure out, starlight.

(...)

(He is right.)

(There have been other times you've looped back without dying as well.)

(But... What could be the reason...?)

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: The hang out part wasn't just to kill time.

(Siffrin smirks a bit, but immediately returns to his slightly serious demeanor.)

Siffrin: I didn't talk about all I wanted, but this is also good. It was nice chatting with someone, for once.

(You just look at them.)

Siffrin: ... Siffrin: Oh, right. Sorry for putting you through this. It's not out of malice or anything like that. Siffrin: And it's OK if you don't forgive me.

(You stay silent.)

Siffrin: ...Well... This is all we can find out about the loops, for now. Siffrin: But you can find out more about the Scary Lady, actually. Siffrin: I could help you next loop. Not now. We both need.... rest. Siffrin: ...I'll be seeing you, I guess.

(You lightly nod and walk away, not saying a word.)

#in stars and time #isat #isat au #ttos #in stars and time spoilers

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celestialholz · 2 years

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Celestial Live-Reacts: STP 2.1, 'The Star Gazer'

(SPOILERS AHEAD, as you might imagine! Read down at your peril)

•

- Uhm I'm sorry is this the opening to Ctrl+Alt+Del AND A Good Day to Die at the same time, HAVE YOU READ MY FICS CBS 👁👄👁

- This is a James Bond opening sequence

- He's so proud he knows Romulan, bless him ❤

- Oh, HE is dead! The more you know

- ... Yeahhhh, no. What *is* this romance nonsense? When has there EVER been anything between him and her?

- ... Awkward...

- Baby!card! 😍 All adventure and adorable

- "Why have you chosen to be alone?" "Idk queen not sure where my immortal husband's at rn"

- I love how English his mother is 😂❤ Really sticking with the theme there of being the most English French people ever. Also I love her and she's a girl boss 😍

- Earl grey, cold 🤣

- What *is* Laris talking about, that this has been building for a while? From WHERE exactly, pls explain

- THEY GAVE ELNOR A THING 🖖 Bless up, king ❤

- Hologram Rios! Seven! Beautiful folks everywhere 😍😍

- Is that the AGT phenomena?

- No synth ban; only progression

- Oh hey Agnes, it's once again hugely ambiguous to see you

- Soji's hangout is glorious, my god

- Rios is a captain again???? Like, an official one????? Bless him, he got over his shit 😍

- ... Anyone else forget that these two had sex?

- Sulu reference!

- 'Chancellor of the Academy', much wow

- "You two are so damn self-sufficient, happy to travel the stars..." 🤔🤔🤔

- Elnor has gone from confident young adult to overly tall child lmao

- "Live a little" 😂 I love him so much ❤

- Raffi/Picard friendship is gorgeous.

- Stargazer!

- 'Cigar in the captain's chair' is a VIBE 😍

- "Help us, Picard"????? ... Is that the fucking Continuum?

- BIG MOMMA G 😍 Welcome back Queeeeen ❤

- This bar music is a jam 😍

- "But you'll always be 'captain' to me" - amen ❤❤❤

- "With you pushing a century and me pushing several, I don't really think that at our age we should be reserving anything" 😂😂

- El-Aurians only age 'if they want to'? That's lore, kids

- Another beautiful male/female friendship! They can do it!

- "It's not as if I haven't loved before - I have, sometimes quite deeply." "But always with those that would only be temporary." "That's not entirely true -" "- So you'd never have to fear any of them taking root."

...

"The problem isn't time, it's you."

...

"You've been on your own for nearly a century - why, what's holding you back?"

Okay so a. this is hilariously Qcard and b. a beautiful character piece ❤ Fascinated by whatever this is alluding to, too?

- Oh hello, Admiral Great-Hair 😍

- ... Are you trying to tell me that the Q want in to the Federation, what in god's name

- Picard @ Laris: aight imma head out babe 🖖

- Borg stuff?

- IT'S THE BORG. OHHHH. Never mind my dumbass theories then... they want to join the Federation? Are they sick of getting their arse handed to them by Janeway?

- Nice bit of looping back to the beginning

- "We wish for peace", they say, walking in like the cyber fuckparty from my most vivid vodka nightmares

- Doc Ockto-borg????? That's a new take...

- Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

- "We're out of options" - swear Rios says exactly that in Ctrl+Alt+Del, and Picard definitely blew himself up for Tapestry Day... and I had a bloody countdown... just call me Benjamin mes amis, I'm a prophet out here

- "Noooon, je ne regrette rieeeeen" 😂 Come on slut, get in the damn frame already 😍

- That was quite the flash... bit pissed off, are we mon dieu? Of all the men in the universe to kill, they have to kill yours huh?

- WELCOME BACK SLUT 😍😍😍😍👁👄👁

- "Oh dear, you're a bit older than I imagined - let me catch up." HAHAHAHA yes! Absolute perfection ❤❤😂 He de-aged just to age, that is phenomenal, and exactly what I wanted - just making a mockery of the whole concept

- "You've been talking a lot about second chances - well, my friend, welcome to very end of the road. Not. Taken." ... Fucking HELL 😍❤👁👄👁

Dear. Sweet. God ABOVE. What a fucking start lads 😍

Celestial rating: 7/10.

Relationships out of nowhere, some great leaps of time more or less waved away though still mostly nice to see, but a deeply fucking compelling narrative, and those last fifteen minutes? Wow.

... I have high hopes, dears...

#star trek picard spoilers #star trek picard 2.1 #jean-luc picard #q of the continuum #guinan #cristobál rios #agnes jurati #raffi musiker #soji #seven of nine #welcome baaaaack bitches 😍#celestial live-reacts #celestial reviews

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lolly802 · 3 years

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Orange Theory I haven’t seen yet but hear me out:

Orange is related to Loneliness. WTIT is intricately connected to Thomas feeling alone. I mean Thomas starts off his day… or restarts his day by waking up alone and immediately checking his texts of which he has none.

In his bathroom he sees himself next to Nico, but then the camera angle shifts and it’s just him alone growing old.

His apartment is filthy, suggesting no ones been over in quite some time.

He goes to eat breakfast, walking past pictures of his friends, but as time goes on, the pictures empty and he just has empty backgrounds in his frames.

He stresses over choking on his oatmeal and being alone with no one to help.

This one‘s a stretch but he left his door unlocked and then panicked about anyone coming in… suggesting once again no ones been in.

His closet door creaks á la cause de Remus, suggesting once again other people being in his house. And then he thinks he sees Nico in his closet, someone he wants to hang out with.

It’s really interesting that Logan then chooses to discuss the cognitive distortion magnifying with Thomas because Loneliness is REALLY easy to magnify, and has been a huge deal in recent episodes (cough sitting alone at the wedding, the HUGE emphasis on Nico and sitting alone at the mall, Logan sitting alone during court wow there is a lot of sitting alone cough) —there’s more if you review but my fingers are getting tired. And we actively see Thomas magnifying via the intrusive thoughts listed above.

AND THEN at first I thought this was just for kicks and giggles but I realized. Remus emphasizes this too outside of the intrusive thought bit. I mean he literally sings “All By Myself” standing alone in a corner. and hes begging for attention. And he goes right over to Logan to serenade this to him. And it’s already been discussed that Remus is provoking Logan/Orange this whole episode on other blogs so. Moving on with my synopsis, Thomas ruins his only white dress shirt which suggests he won’t be going to any nice social events anytime soon. Anyways right after that Logan says “looks like someone is getting fired up. And that would be you. In case it wasn’t clear.” Which is ironic because it is clear… because Thomas is alone and has been for a significant amount of time.

anyways. Then Thomas finds a note from Nico and is like wow I’m alone and gets upset again.

And then Thomas thinks there’s a body in his bed suggesting once again that he‘s not alone, which of course emphasizes that he is, and then nightmare Nico comes along.

does nightmare Nico even need an explanation? Thomas is literally hallucinating that his love interest is in his apartment telling him he’s unwanted and that either Thomas needs to get rid of Nico, or Nico will get rid of Thomas making him alone in either case. Hence the loneliness.

Then Logan turns on music and has Thomas dance which is typically a social activity which makes Thomathy feel oh so comforted because dance=social=friends=finally out of this loop (but not really).

and then um. Logan and Remus’ whole uh thing. Is about Logan feeling neglected and ignored or… lonely. He doesn’t get the chance to shine with Remus and the other sides’ more flashy methods. With being benched. With being “boring”. So yeah. I don’t feel the need to hyper analyze this one because it feels pretty obvious, and other people have. Plus the whole ignoring dummies for dummies book Remus has.

Then Thomas gets the call from Nico and looks happy for the first time all day because he’s not alone.

And then the whole stay connected scene in the end card where Logan admits that being social was a healthy thing for Thomas to be doing right now.

but clearly orange is gonna be a long term issue because one hangout won’t solve everything thank you Janus for not stating The Obvious.

Ill stop here because you get the idea but uh yeah I think orange is loneliness or something similar ☺️

#Ts spoilers #wtit #orange side theory #logan sanders #orange might be loneliness #Aaaaah #So yeah #That ended up way longer than I intended and much more ineloquent sorry😂

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bellarkefanfiction · 7 years

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take my hand (and heart)

*click thru to read on ao3

written by: Lexi | @goldenheadfreckledheart

prompt: ‘ice skating au? either professionals or going skating for the first time’ for anonymous

word count: 3534

Bellamy's never been ice skating before, but Clarke's going to be there, so obviously he's not missing it.

Ice skating, in theory, can’t be that much different than rollerblading.

And Bellamy knows how to rollerblade… he’s pretty sure. He has vague, hazy memories of wearing kneepads and a too-big helmet when he was younger, scraping his hands against the pavement before he got the hang of it. It’s one of the few things from that far back that he can still remember—before Aurora’s dependency became apparent and their lives went to… well, shit.

Anyway, he assumes it’s one of those like-riding-a-bike things you don’t ever forget. Or at least, it better be, because that’s the only thing he’s got going to convince himself that he’s not insane for agreeing to go ice skating when Raven suggested that they all go over the weekend.

It’s worth noting that no one’s stupid enough to ask if she’ll be able to skate at all, given her leg. Mostly because if you’re around Raven long enough, it becomes pretty obvious that if she says she’s going to do something, she’s going to do it. She’s probably the most badass person Bellamy knows.

But she’s not the reason that Bellamy is resolved to go ice skating when he’s technically never been before. Pretending that honor goes to anything but the fact that he’s in love with Clarke would be painfully pitiful at this point.

He’s pretty sure Raven knows. Hell, he’s pretty sure everyone knows, besides Clarke herself—though that seems overly optimistic, if he’s as obvious as he feels like he is—which at least means no one is surprised when he’s twice as invested in group hangouts when she’s involved. That doesn’t mean they don’t make fun of him. Because his friends are still assholes.

Bellamy is, overall, starting to feel like a real adult—and less like someone who’s the age of the adult but still trying to catch up with everyone around him. Less like someone who turned 18 and became a legal guardian. Not that he’s ashamed of that, but it is nice to finally feel on top of things. So theoretically he should be able to handle ice skating. Surely that’s a thing he can figure out.

He’s less sure about handling his crush on his best friend.

His phone buzzes with a text from Clarke, asking if they should plan to head to the rink together tomorrow, and he grins down at it like it might respond in kind.

His friends aren’t wrong about how pathetic he is, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still assholes.

Me: Meet at the metro at 10?

Clarke: I’ll be the one half asleep on her feet

He grins. Again.

Me: 10 isn’t that early, Clarke

Clarke: Yeah, says the old man with a normal sleep schedule

Me: If you go to sleep now you can get like, ten hours of sleep

Clarke: Yeah but if I go to sleep who will make fun of you

Me: I was going to provide some options but it was just a list of our entire friend group

Clarke: Bahaha

Clarke: True. Amazing.

Me: Be nice or I won’t have coffee for you tomorrow

Clarke: You wouldn’t withhold caffeine from me

Clarke: If not for my sake than for your own

Me: …wish I could argue with that

Clarke: see you tomorrow :)

He’s at the metro early, mostly because he thought there would be a longer line at the coffee shop but also partly because he’s anxious. Which doesn’t even make sense. He can handle ice skating. It’ll be fine.

But the fact that it doesn’t make sense clearly doesn’t keep him from over thinking it, because Clarke has to pluck out one of his earbuds for him to notice she’s arrived.

“Jesus!” He flinches, only narrowly managing not to drop the cups in his hands. And then, once he realizes it’s her, more shocked than anything, he says, “What the fuck, Clarke.”

“Shit, sorry! I didn’t notice you were holding coffee.” She looks appropriately remorseful for a moment, cheeks flushed. Then, apparently upon further examination, she smiles. “Hey. You brought me coffee.”

He wishes he could say it’s too early to handle Clarke Griffin smiling at him, except then he’d have to eat his words about 10 AM not actually being early. Also, it’s possible that any time is too early. Because he’s pathetic. It’s fine. He’s coming to terms with it.

“I told you I would,” he grumbles, resisting the urge to duck his head when he feels blood rush to his face.

“Still, ” she says, taking her cup from him, “thanks.” She takes a sip and sighs, curling her fingers around the cup, a serene smile ghosting at her lips.

He’s trying very hard not to be completely in love with her. Really.

Then she sags against him, casual as anything, cheek on his shoulder, and it’s not even worth trying.

“Seriously how is this early for you? Your shifts start way earlier than this.”

He feels her short laugh. “Yeah but yesterday was Friday. No work today. So--,” she stops to stifle a yawn, “—couldn’t force myself to go to bed early.”

“You have the sleep schedule of a teenage boy.”

“And you have the bedtime of an eighty year old. We balance each other out.”

Nothing about that should spark the hope in his chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, failing to suppress a smile. “Come on sleeping beauty, our train’s here.”

She groans, but follows him into the train where they manage to find two seats together. She slumps onto his shoulder again as soon as they sit down. He’s not complaining. It’s enough to make him forget his anxiety about ice skating until they actually arrive at the rink.

He slings an arm around his sister in greeting when he and Clarke join the group, exchanges jabs with Raven and Miller, chats with Monty about the students at the library they both work at.

After a couple minute of catching up, the others head inside, happily chatting and joking. Bellamy doesn’t even notice that he’s hesitated for a second until Clarke stops next to him.

“Hey. You okay?”

“What? Yeah.”

The face she makes could mean a lot of things, but he knows from experience that it means she can tell he’s holding something back. It’s fucking terrifying, how easily she reads him.

He shrugs, tries to make it casual when he says, “Ice skating is fun, right?”

She frowns a little, all signs of her earlier grogginess gone. “You’ve never been?”

“Never really thought about it.” Which is technically true, but more because he had a million other things to think about as a kid, and less because he didn’t want to.

It’s not necessarily apparent that she catches that meaning when she loops her arm through his and says, “Yeah, ice skating’s great. Come on, you’re gonna love it,” but he’s willing to bet that she did, because it’s definitely the right thing to say.

No comment that it’ll be easy, or that he’s been missing out, or that he shouldn’t be nervous. Just that she thinks he’ll love it. And he’s inclined to believe her. It’s Clarke. She’s usually right about the stuff she thinks he’ll like.

He’ll probably fall on his ass. That doesn’t mean it won’t be fun.

He’s trying to match the tightness of his laces to Clarke’s—who looks like a fucking pro, pulling harshly at her skates after each loop, like the laces don’t burn her hands at all—when Octavia pipes up.

“Hey, Bell,” she says, in a tone he doubts anyone else would read as concerned. “You skating with me?”

On the whole, Octavia has employed a different manner of recovering from their fucked up childhood. Not in a bad way, at all. She’s just decided that now that she’s on the path to living the life she wants to live, she’s going to throw all caution to the wind and just do, well, everything. Anything they didn’t get a chance to do when they were younger.

And it’s not so much that Bellamy’s opposed to trying new things, but he still can’t shake the feeling that there are more important things to be doing, or that he should be saving at least the vast majority of his money for… he doesn’t really know what. Sure, he has student loans, but he’s doing fine with paying them off. It’s just hard to accept he doesn’t have the constant possibility of tragedy hanging just behind his shoulder anymore.

He’s getting better at the whole having-money thing, but he still doesn’t go out and seek new experiences the way that O does, and she knows it.

Which explains the way she’s looking at him, because she knows he’s never ice skated before, and she still remembers the sting of admitting to people the things they never got to do when they were younger. Not that any of their friends now would question why he’s never learned—mostly because they already know the answer—but habits are hard to shake. It twists his chest to know that she still remembers it as clearly as he does.

We’re getting there, he reminds himself.

Before he can respond though, Clarke’s leaning forward beside him.

“I was going to steal him, actually.” She pauses, glancing between the two of them, and Bellamy works to keep his surprise from showing. “If that’s okay?”

Octavia looks confused at first, looking to Bellamy with a questioning eyes… an expression that morphs into fucking delight when she sees the tips of his ears go pink.

Fuck.

“Yeah, perfect!” his sister croons, no doubt patting herself on the back for the matchmaking opportunity. “Lincoln’s going to be here soon anyway.”

Bellamy knew, in theory, that he’d be holding on to someone at least his first few times around the rink. But he’d been a lot more worried about actually making it around the rink, and lot less about the possibility that that person he’d be hanging onto might be Clarke.

It shouldn’t be surprising. She’s his best friend, of course she’s going to offer. But he’s been doing alright with suppressing his feelings and he’s not eager to see how he does with that when he’s clinging to her hand for dear life.

“Come on,” Clarke says, after Octavia has pranced off, as naturally as if she weren’t wearing metal blades on her feet. “It’s just like rollerblading. I promise.”

It’s an echo of his earlier justification, but somehow it’s not as comforting anymore, now that they’re actually here.

“Don’t be surprised when I fall on my face and pull you down with me.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, pulling him toward the ice. “Drama queen.”

She gets out on the ice before him, easy as anything, and beckons him to step down as well. He takes her hand when she offers it, and doesn’t have to try too hard not to think about the feel of her hand in his. He’s a little preoccupied, his other hand is braced on the low wall around the rink to step down.

He puts one skate tentatively on the ice, hand closing tighter around Clarke’s his foot slips forward a little under his weight, breathing a sigh of relief when he steadies himself. The other skate isn’t so bad, and suddenly he’s standing on the ice, and feeling pretty proud of himself, as ridiculous as it sounds.

Then he makes the terrible choice to try to move forward at the same moment that he turns to look at Clarke, who’s smiling at him, wide and triumphant.

He really can’t explain how he loses his balance, or—equally surprising—how he doesn’t end up flat on the ice. He just knows that he flails helplessly for a truly terrifying moment before Clarke somehow manages to steady him—one hand clutched in his, the other under his elbow, keeping him upright, her body steady and close to his.

“Fuck.” His hand are definitely shaking.

“You’re doing good!”

“I haven’t even taken a step yet! Fuck. This was a terrible idea.”

“No, no, come on, you’re doing fine.”

She laces her fingers between his and manages to coax him into several tiny steps, slowly moving them away from the entrance.

They work up to a pace that actually feels like they’re moving, but it’s still insanely slow. He still feels shaky on his feet, unsure how any given step doesn’t have him flat on his back. And if it feels slow for him, it must be actually terrible for Clarke, so he tries to lengthen his stride to speed them up a little.

Which is apparently the worst thing to do. He must extend too far, because the next thing he knows, his feet aren’t underneath him at all and after a heart-stopping second of imbalance—yeah, that’s definitely the ice, hard and cold against his back.

Despite the moment of terror, it’s not nearly as bad as he thought falling would be.

When he moves to sit up, he’s surprised to find that Clarke’s hand is still in his, which means… The apology rises to his lips immediately, asking if she’s okay, and he turns quickly to find her--

--on her knees beside him, hair a mess and a breathless look of joy on her face, only slightly tinged with concern. For him.

He’s so in love with her.

“Am I okay?” she asks, half laughing. “God that’s the most Bellamy thing you’ve ever said.”

After a beat of shock, he doubles into laughter too.

It takes them a second to get it together, and he’s pretty sure they’re getting confused looks from children and parents skating past.

“Come on,” he says, reaching for her and nearly slipping again. She dissolves into laughter again, but catches his knee to push herself up, and him along with her.

Bellamy’s grinning hard as they’re scrambling to stand, just as Raven skates past, agile on her feet, despite the awkward weight of her brace. She raises a brow when they meet eyes, and then winks, looking meaningful toward their intertwined hands.

He rolls his eyes, but then she’s gliding past them, and he turns back to Clarke, still smiling.

“So, I can give up now right?”

She laughs. “Nah, not yet. Come on, we’ll stay close to the wall.”

After that, it’s easy to stop worrying about falling and his crush, and easier to just do his best and enjoy his best friend teasing him along the way.

They do take a break a while later, when he can sort of awkwardly shuffle across the ice without her help, as long as the wall isn’t too far way. It’s pathetic, but he’s cool with it.

“Okay so. You’re bad at this,” Clarke says, collapsing on the bench next to him.

“Thanks, Clarke. Really helpful.” His ankles fucking burn, so he reaches down to loosen his laces.

She laughs, bright. “Sorry, I just--this isn’t really how I imagined this going.”

“Again, great for my ego,” he teases, knocking his shoulder against hers as he sits back up. “Thanks.”

“No I just mean,” she waves her hands, like she always does when she’s not getting her meaning across. It’s stupidly adorable. “You’re good at everything. Even if you’ve never done it before, you pick it up, like, insanely fast. It’s kind of fun to see you’re a mortal like the rest of us.”

He doesn’t know what to say for a second, in response to all that. It’s a lot. “I’m glad this is a fun experience for you.”

Of course that gets him a soft look. “You’re not having a terrible time, are you?”

“Nah. It’s not the worst.” She still doesn’t look pleased when he glances over and he has to crack a smile. “I’m having a good time, Clarke. Thanks to you. I promise.”

She stares for a second, probably trying to tell if he’s lying to make her feel better. After a moment, she smiles, cheeks pinking as she looks away. “Good. Me too.”

“Hey Clarke,” Monty calls, and Bellamy looks up to see him leaning against the side of the rink. “Sure you don’t want me to take a turn with the newbie?”

“I’m literally right here,” Bellamy shoots back.

“Nope, sorry, this is my victory,” Clarke says to Monty, finding Bellamy’s hand again with a squeeze, then pulling him up. “Teaching Bellamy Blake something new. The one thing I’m missing from my resume.”

“That’s fair, I guess,” Monty says, smiling at Clarke conspiratorially.

He hates them. Kind of. “Thanks, guys.”

He lets Clarke pull him onto the ice again, less because he’s eager to skate again and more because she seems excited about it. He is definitely better this time, though, and he’s starting to see the appeal of gliding smoothly across the ice… between bouts of losing his balance or nearly running into children.

There’s no way out of admitting that the biggest appeal of the whole thing is that Clarke hasn’t let go of his hand the entire time. Which he does feels mildly guilty about.

“I appreciate you saving me from humiliation at the hands of our other friends,” he says, they turn the corner, “but you really don’t have to keep babysitting me.”

“Who says I don’t want to?” she returns, a little sharp. “I don’t mind.”

He grins, squeezing her hand. “I know you don’t, but look, I already think you’re the best. I’m not going to change my mind if you go skate by yourself for a while.”

It’s more… verbally affectionate than he usually tends to be, but that doesn’t make it less true. He just hopes the reddening of his face doesn’t make it painfully obvious just how much he thinks she’s the best.

She just stares at him for a second, which is terrifying, because he really can’t tell what she’s thinking.

After another beat, she smiles. “Cool. I’ll tell you when I don’t want to do it anymore,” she says, catching his hand again and pulling him forward.

He’s never going to stop smiling. “Cool.”

They keep skating, and he keeps being…fairly bad at it. But she also keeps not leaving so he’s definitely not having a bad time.

He does finally have to tap out after another hour or so, because his ankles actually can’t take it anymore.

“I don’t want any of your old man comments,” he says to Clarke as they head to the benches.

She smiles sunnily. “Wouldn’t dream of it. It’s fine, I’m beat anyways.”

She’s apparently not just lying for his sake, because one she’s pulled off her skates, she leans heavily against him—her usual spot, head against his shoulder.

“Is this how you get girls to cuddle with you?” she asks, voice muffled and tired, “Get them to help you skate until you’re both exhausted?”

“Is it working?” he teases, “Anyway, you’re literally the one who volunteered.”

“That’s true,” she says, settling in closer beside him. “And yes.”

“Hmm?”

“Yes, it’s working.” She doesn’t look at him when she says it, just kind of mumbles it into his arm.

He turns to look at her, effectively keeping her from hiding behind his shoulder, though that wasn’t really his plan. His heart is pounding.

“It is?”

She shrugs and actually looks guilty. “You didn’t really need much help. I was already halfway there. So… sorry.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that other than by kissing her, so that’s what he does.

She only freezes for a moment before pushing forward, reciprocating eagerly as she winds her arms around his neck. The relief of it is staggering, and it’s better than he could imagine, when he let himself go that far. When she curls a hand in his hair, her fingers are still cool from the ice, a reminder that this is real and a pleasant contrast to the heat his skin has built up. Because he’s kissing Clarke. His best friend. She must come to the same realization, because she pulls back from with a shallow laugh, grinning wide.

“Okay. Yeah. This is definitely the best case scenario of how I thought that conversation would go,” she says, breathless.

He can’t actually stop smiling. “I think you’re the only one who didn’t know how pitifully into you I’ve been, for months. If that helps.”

She laughs, running her fingers through the curls at his forehead. “You? Why else do you think I didn’t let anyone else skate with you?”

“You’re acting like getting to hold your hand wasn’t a significant factor in my decision to keep skating.”

Miller’s voice makes both of them jump. Bellamy hadn’t realized he’d sat down near them to remove his own skates. “You’re both acting like this isn’t nauseating, good god.”

“Fuck off, Miller,” Bellamy responds, easy. Miller flips him off, but Bellamy’s pretty sure he smiles as he gets up and walks away, skates in tow.

“Hey,” Clarke says.

“Hey.”

“You want to get coffee?”

He kisses her again, nearly long enough that he thinks Miller might come back, just to fuck with them.

“Yeah. I really do.”

#bellarke fanfiction #bffnet #bffwritingteam #prompts #oneshots #title: take my hand (and heart)#a: goldenheadfreckledheart #wt: lexi #modern au #friends to lovers #fluff #ice skating #sports #nerd baby!bellamy

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cherry-choke-a-cola · 7 years

Text

Right Here in My Arms Chapter 3

You giggle when Sam pulls you out of the chapel entry way outside and kissed you.

“Mrs. Winchester,” He mumbles into your mouth.

You giggle some more at your new name.

“Mr. Y/N,” At this he pulls back from your lips and starts to laugh and you both head back to Sam’s car. When both of you are seated in the car and same has started the car and pulled out of the chapel driveway, you look at the marriage certificate and run your fingers over Sam’s signature, tracing the smooth loops of the ‘S’ and the clean stroked of the ‘W’ noticing how gorgeous his hand writing is. You then run your fingers over your signature, noticing nothing different about your first name but your last name looked a bit … off. You weren’t used to singing ‘Winchester’ as your last name but you figured as time went on, that that would change.

“So, did you wanna go get blitzed or just go and lock ourselves up in our room for a few days?’ Sam asks you, keeping his eyes on the road and his right hand in yours.

You smirk and look at him, “I think we both know what we’re going to do, Sam.”

“You want to go walk the strip and hangout with all the celebrity impersonators, too?” He asks in mock glee.

You hold back a laugh and slap him on the arm.

Sam Laughs, “Hotel it is.”

[Back at the Bunker]

“I can’t believe you went to Vegas and got hitched, Sammy! I mean, Y/N’s a great girl but do you remember the last time you went Vegas? You got ‘Love Potion No. 9’d by a crazy lady and married her the same day! I mean, I’m pretty sure she did butt stuff to you while you were unconscious!” Dean fumes. To say that he was not happy about this ‘unholy union’ as he so crudely put it earlier in the conversation, was an understatement.

“Dean, Y/N did not slip me any type of love potion or brew. She loves me and I love her. This happened naturally. She’s not crazy like Becky was, she didn’t sell her soul and there wasn’t any demons or witches involved.” Dean scoffs.

“That you know of. There’s something off about this situation, Sammy.” Dean pushes Sam out of the way and stormed up the stairs to the bunker door, not even acknowledging you.

You jump when the bunker door slams shut. Sam walks over to you and pulls you into a hug.

“Don’t worry about Dean. He’ll get over it.”

You pull back to look at his face.

“So, you were married before?”

Sam sighs and leads you to the kitchen and heads to the fridge hand you a beer and getting one for himself.

“A few years back the was this woman, Becky, who Dean and I had help form and a couple of cases and she happened to be in Vegas the same time I was. She was really obsessed over me.” You listened with rapt interest as he told you the fiasco with this Becky person and how she had sold he soul so she could Sam to fall in love with her. When he was finished, so were your beers. After disposing of the bottles, you both went into Sam’s room and plopped down on the bed, Sam laying on his back with his arms behind his head and his eyes closed. You situated yourself so you where laying on your side facing Sam, propping your head up with your elbow.

“I can’t believe she was that determined to make you want her,” you said as you snuggled up closer to Sam.

“That is why too much fanfiction is bad for you,” He said with amusement evident in his voice.

You yawned and placed your head on his chest and fell asleep listening to Sam’s steady heartbeat.

[2 months later]

“For the last time, Y/N, Beth is a hunter, she’s 56 years old and she has a wife! She was texting me because she needed help on case!” Sam huffed, his hair was ruffled after repeatedly running his hands through it in frustration as his tried in frustration to explain to you that he wasn’t cheating.

Your heart was pounding and you were shaking in anger. You could’ve sworn that the texts between Sam and Beth that you saw were anything but innocent, but when Sam gave you his phone to look at them for a second time, you realized that they were innocent and that Sam was telling the truth.

Sighing in resignation, you hand him back his phone.

“I mean, dammit Y/N, I married you! Not every damn woman that I happen to encounter. You’ve been acting like this for the past month and a half! First it was you glaring at any woman who looked at me, then it escalated to you getting us thrown out of five bars in one week because you kept picking fights with all the women. Oh! And let’s not forget the night that Dean had to come help me bail you out of jail because you knocked out three girls before you kicked the crap out the bouncer! Then, you started following me every time I left the bunker without you!” You looked up at Sam, shocked that he knew you were following him.

“Yeah, I know about that. You’re not as sneaky as you think. And this isn’t the only time you’ve looked through my phone or my computer. You don’t trust me and you don’t respect my personal space. I have nothing to hide from you Y/N and I have tried time and time again to prove that to you but every time, you never believe me. What do I have to do to get you to trust me?”

Sam sits down roughly on his side of the bed with his back to you and his head in his hands. You looked down at your feet and release the breath you had been holding and try to think clearly. You don’t know how to explain your behavior the past few weeks. All you know is that when a woman who wasn’t you tried to look or talk to Sam, your vision went red and all logic flew out the window, and the only thing to do that made sense was to kick said woman’s ass and whenever he started talking to a woman via text or the internet, you took your anger out on Sam. You never tried to kick his ass but you did have terrific aim and you always threw the heaviest book you could find at him. To say that something was wrong with you, couldn’t be even more true.

Sam thought at first it was because you might have been pregnant but three pregnancy tests later and that theory was debunked. Sam and Dean had stayed up countless night trying researching, trying to see if odd behavior was caused by something supernatural. When everything from demon possession to curses were ruled out, Sam started to get discouraged and thought maybe Dean was right and this whole thing was a mistake. He even thought that this was how you were when it came to relationships. Hell, you were a hell of a lot younger than Sam and prior to getting married, both of you hadn’t known each other long enough for him to know about any of your prior relationships.

When Sam stood up and grabbed his keys and phone before heading towards the door, you broke away from your thoughts.

“What are you doing?” Your voice was barely audible and you feared what he might say.

Sam’s hand paused on the door knob and he didn’t bother to look at you.

“I don’t know, Y/N. I need some space for a few days away from the bunker and I need you to give me that space by not following me. I’ll have Cas zap you into the dungeon if you do follow me.” He opened the door and walked out. You stood there in shock, trying to process what just happened. A couple of seconds later when you hear the bunker door open and slam close, you knew that Sam had done what he said and left.

Every fiber in you told you to get up and follow him to see if maybe this time you would find him in the arms of another woman even though he had requested you stay put. After much deliberation, you decided to just stay put and wait. The urge to just get up follow him writhed inside you like a snake and burned like an itch.

Grabbing Sam’s laptop off the dresser, you sit on the bed and open it, finding that he had changed his password. A couple of hours in to trying to crack his password, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,”

Dean opens the door and finds you staring holes into Sam’s computer screen.

“Hey, uh, where’s Sam?” You don’t bother to look up.

“We had a fight a few hours ago and he said he needed space and left for a few days.” Dean laughs dryly.

“You mean he’s been gone for a few hours and you haven’t tried to secretly follow him?” At this, you look up from the screen to glare at Dean.

“Fuck you, Dean.”

“You could if you didn’t marry my brother.” Before you could throw something at him, he turned and left.

***

After trying a few more times to get into Sam’s laptop, the 48-hour lockdown was activated and you gave up. Looking at the and seeing that it was nearly a quarter to three in the morning you decided to go to bed.

Three days had passed since yours and Sam’s fight when he walked in the bunker still in the same clothes he with on and stubble had started to form into a beard from not shaving. He looked like hadn’t slept of showered in the time that he was gone. When he walked down the stairs to where you were sitting, you had noticed that he was carrying a thick envelope.

“Hey.” He offered as he sat down across you in the library and had started to fiddle with the envelope.

“Hey,” You reply lamely. “What’s that?” Sam sighed. Avoiding your eyes and slid the envelope to you.

“I need to talk to you. Y/N, you know I love you. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I didn’t. But …” He paused.

“But?”

He gave you a forced smile before continuing.

“But … these past few months have been ridiculous. You don’t trust me or respect me as your husband. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and …” He paused again and looke at the silver band on his lef ring finger and then looked back at the envelope. “And I’ve decided that it might be best if we both go our separate ways. I’m obviously not what you’d thought I’d be like as your husband and this is not what I want out of a marriage.”

Your vision started to go fuzzy and your heart started acing and your ears started ringing.

Sam slid the envelope towards you and took off his wedding band.

“I’m asking you for a divorce, Y/N.”

You started to stand up and then felt yourself falling to the ground before darkness and silence surrounded you.

“Y/N!”

***

Everything was dark and you couldn’t move. You could the faint voices of Sam and Dean and a couple of unfamiliar voices.

“…Seizure … brain overheated …”

“Will she … okay?”

“…into shock … coma …”

“Isn’t there … can do?”

“…So sorry …unlikely to wake up …”

“…vitals … dropping…”

“…decisions to make … keep Y/N …. life-support or … pull …plug.”

“Not much time … before … brain dead.”

“Can you … alone?”

“Of course.”

“Dean and I …. Find what did … please wake up … don’t leave … still love you.”

“Hang in … kiddo. Gonna fix … right up.”

#spn fic #reader insert #sam x reader

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deverodesign · 7 years

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Reading Time: 12 minutes

Working for design agency can be a great opportunity for designer to learn a lot about design and business. In this second part of this miniseries, we will discuss the last five lessons I learned from working for design agency. These lessons include topics such as focusing on moving fast and testing ideas, what to do when you get stuck, building a reputation and more. I hope that these lessons will make it easier for you to build a career or business in the design industry.

Table of Contents:

05. Move fast, prototype and iterate

Creativity is a result of hard work

Don’t wait for inspiration

Start creating before you are ready

06. When something doesn’t work, move on

Skip, but not forget

Move on, but not too often

07. Clients hire you as a problem solver

Focus on solving the right problem

08. Fight for your work (with arguments)

09. Reputation is built over time

Lessons 01-04 are in part 1.

Closing thoughts on working for design agency

05. Move fast, prototype and iterate

There is this saying “speed kills”. And, I have to agree with this saying. If you move too slowly, you are going to die. Not what you expected? Focus on speed was one of the things I realized in the moment I started to work for design agency. And, this notion of speed was not caused by project deadlines that were omnipresent. It seemed that the whole life inside the design agency was moving in more rapid pace than the rest of the world.

It is true that I worked on-site only with one design agency so far. And, it is very hard, if not impossible, to estimate or guess the pace over Slack or hangouts. Messages and even video can give you only limit amount of information about the environment inside the agency. Also, you never know what is happening in the next room at the moment. So, I can’t say if this faster pace of work and living applies to other agencies as well. Who knows.

Anyway, when I worked for that design agency, the impression of moving fast was especially visible on the way people there worked. Everyone was used to working in small sprints, making less or more interactive prototypes and testing them soon and learning from those test. Yes, it was based on agile workflow. Thanks to this, people were able to move very fast from blank page to first results. These people didn’t wait for inspiration, they chased it.

Creativity is a result of hard work

This was another great lesson and almost an epiphany. The most creative people I met there was usually those who worked the most. When these people started working on new project, they jumped right into. They started researching the topic or sketching random ideas. What they never did was just sit down and wait for the inspiration to hit. At the time of writing this article, I am in the middle of book on creativity called How to Fly a Horse written by Kevin Ashton.

This book debunks many myths about creativity, such as the theory of idea incubation or sudden eureka moments. Instead of just one big leap, it shows creativity as a process of many small steps or iterations (or failures). And, with each of these steps, you are getting closer and closer to that mythical eureka moment. In this sense, creative process works more like a slow evolution, not a sudden revolution (or mythical eureka moment).

For example, there is a story about the great artist Vasilij Kandinskij. Kandinskij created somewhere around twenty variations of a single painting before he found the right combination of colors and elements. Then, there is a famous inventor James Dyson who went through thousands of iterations in order to create a better vacuum cleaner. Sounds like Edison and his light bulb right? This is how creativity works. It is a series of small iterations, failures and learning from each. It is hard work.

Don’t wait for inspiration

This brings to this important lesson I learned from both, that book and that design agency. Don’t wait for some mythical eureka moment or sudden hit of inspiration. Understand that all these moments of inspiration are result of hours of work and many small iterations. All great designs were built one iteration at the time. And, this is true about all things around us. From Mona Lisa or Sistine Chapel to your favorite book to iPhone. It’s also how nature works. One step after another.

Many of those people we admire today as geniuses were not more creative than others. These people were simply working harder and were more persistent. They focused on doing rather than waiting. I recommend that you start doing the same. When you start working on new project, follow the example of the people from the design agency. Jump right into it. Don’t wait for inspiration. Instead, do anything to get your ideas flowing.

You can start brainstorming interesting even crazy ideas you could use for the project. Personally, I love to use mind mapping to generate ideas for both, projects and my blog. Quick side note: make sure to not to judge your ideas if you want to be really creative. A good thing is building a mood board for the project. Look for interesting designs. It can help you define the style and design direction of the project. Or, read some magazine or book or watch a movie or even play a game.

The key here is to get momentum. If you want to get inspiration, you have to feed your mind with material. It is like cooking a meal. You can’t do it without any ingredients.

Start creating before you are ready

Next step, after you get momentum is start creating. It doesn’t matter whether you are “ready” or not. Sketch your first idea and then the second and third. Seriously. Don’t just think about it. Put it down on paper (use graphic editor if you prefer digital). Do you remember that agile workflow followed in that design agency? The goal was to always to get to the prototype as soon as possible. If you have some idea, sketch it. See how it looks on the paper. If it is good, go ahead and build it.

Some people suggest that it is better to sketch multiple ideas before going any further with just one. I think you should do whatever fits you the best. If you like some idea, don’t wait. Build interactive and testable prototype. Then, test it to see if it is feasible. If it is, maybe you have a solution for your project. If not, go back to the drawing board and come up and sketch new idea. Then, repeat these steps or loop until you find the best solution for your project.

You have to keep moving between these three steps–idea (sketch), prototype, test. You are always moving either forward–from an idea to prototype to test, or backwards–from test of the prototype to sketching new idea. You are never still, constantly iterating. When you find that one element works, great. Use it in your next idea. If nothing works, start from scratch again. Remember, you are looking for the right pieces you can put together, not the whole puzzle.

06. When something doesn’t work, move on

I know. This is all great. However, what if you get stuck on something? For example, imagine you are working on a layout for a home page. Everything looks great and you are steadily progressing from one section, or part of the layout, to another. Then, suddenly, you hit a wall. There is one section in the layout you just can’t figure out. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t make it work. What would those people in design agency do?

Great question! Fortunately, I was there a couple of times when situation like this happened. And, here is the answer. Move on. When you get stuck on something, it is usually a good idea to try to get through it a couple of times. However, if you still can’t solve it after a couple of days, it is better to move on. Working on another part of the project can help you release any tension and make progress on the project. Chances are, your brain will still work on the problem in the background.

This is how many of those moments of “sudden” inspiration came to live. Someone was thinking hard about certain problem for a long time. Then, she decided to switch her attention to something else. Even though her attention is elsewhere, part of her brain is still trying to find the solution to that problem. When you can’t make any progress with some part of the design, or project, move to another. It is better to make some progress in general than no progress at all.

Design agency I worked with applied this rule to every project it was working on. It never allowed any part to slow down the progress or other people in the team. The same was true about presenting the work to clients. It was always better to present something rather than get stuck and have nothing to show. Sometimes, we, the design agency, had to present our client those parts we had not even finished yet. However, even that was still better than coming with empty hands.

Skip, but not forget

The last thing I want to mention is to log everything you decide to skip. It is not a pleasant surprise when you realize, just before the deadline, that there is that “small” thing you decided to skip back then. So, when you decide to skip something, make sure to write it down. Then, put this note on a place where you will see it every day. This is good for two reasons. First, you will not forget it. Second, this reminder will nudge your brain to think about it, consciously or subconsciously.

As we discussed, when you redirect your attention from one problem to something else, part of your brain is still tackling that problem. However, this is only true if you remember that problem. If you forget it, well, it will not get magically solved. Post-it notes are a very good tool for this. You write the problem down and stick it on the wall right above your computer. Then, every time you sit down to work, you will see that note and recall the problem.

Move on, but not too often

Okay, there is one more thing I have to warn you before. It is okay to move on to another part of the project if you get stuck. However, that doesn’t mean you should make it a routine. Move on only when you are stuck on something for at least a few days, and you need to make a progress. For example because the deadline is approaching. Never skip something just because you can’t solve it in the first few minutes or hours.

Let your brain work really hard first. Try a number of different ideas. Try, test and iterate. If you skip every part that is a bit more difficult, you will soon end up with very long back, or wall full of notes. Then, it can be even harder to solve all these issues. As the deadline gets closer you will have less time to deal with all these issues. Then, this often leads to a lot of stress that will overwhelm you. Situation similar to trying to catch several rabbits in the same time. You will catch none.

So, before you move on and skip something, make sure to dedicate some time to it. Unless you have a really tight deadline, give it at least few days.

07. Clients hire you as a problem solver

When I worked for that design agency, I finally realized what is the real job of a designer. It is not creating a beautiful designs, but solving client’s problems. In this sense, the design you create is a solution to some problem your client has. Nothing more and nothing less. One advice I got from the CEO of that design agency was to always listen to the client, but never to blindly follow their suggestions or recommendations. Designer has to, first and foremost, think for himself.

As the saying goes, when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. When client asks you to solve his problem, she will usually also come up with some suggestions or ideas. Listen to those ideas. Don’t ignore them. Who knows, you may find some of those ideas useful. However, always think for yourself. Remember, your client is not a designer, that’s why she hired you. Therefore, design is your job, not hers. Don’t let her design the whole solution without you thinking about it.

Also, remember that your client has been dealing with her problem for a long time. Quite often, this is not beneficial, but detrimental. It is often true that the longer you work on one and the same problem, the less likely you are to come up with new and creative solutions. Remember, the connection between hammer and seeing nails everywhere. One of the reasons she hired you is that you are not attached to the problem or to specific solution. You are objective.

Focus on solving the right problem

During my work for the design agency, I also found that sometimes, client approached us with wrong problem. In other words, the problem she thought we should solve was not the right problem we should solve. This basically means that you should always start with questioning the problem itself. Think about the information you got from your client. Then, ask yourself if you are solving the right problem. Or, are there any other problems worth considering?

As I learned during my work for design agency, it can happen that the initial problem your client has is the one you should be solving in the end. So, listen to your client, but always think for yourself and question the problem itself. Otherwise, you may waste a lot of time trying to solve either a problem that doesn’t even exist or that is not the biggest one. Following this principle worked great for that design agency and for me as well. I will bet it will work for you too.

08. Fight for your work (with arguments)

As I mentioned, when you get hired by a client, you are hired as a design, a professional and expert. This means that one thing. It doesn’t matter how much your client pays for your services, you should never change your idea just because your client doesn’t like it. For every change there has to be rational and justified reason. For example, “I don’t like that color.” is not a reason to trash the whole idea. If some color is wrong, ask why? What exactly is wrong with that color?

I was fortunate to work for design agency whose people were not afraid to stand up against their clients if they had a good reason to do it. You should do the same. You should fight for your work if you have rational and justifiable reasons. If data or experience says that you should use that color, element, structure or whatever, be willing to fight for it. If you believe in your idea, try to convince your client to prototype and test it before you trash it and move to something else.

When you decide to defend your idea or decision, make sure to defend it with valid arguments. Never go against your client without any evidence. Always have some data that support your idea. And, remember that this evidence should be based on science, not just gut feeling. I have nothing against gut feeling. Sometimes, actually quite often, it works very well. However, since it is not based on hard data, it is easy for your client to reject it. And, you have nothing to use to defend it.

So, be willing to fight for your idea and decisions, but make sure you have a data to support them. If you have valid arguments, do it. Part of being a professional is having the courage to defend your work. If you want to gain respect for your work, sooner or later, you will have to start defending it.

09. Reputation is built over time

The last thing (not really the last) I learned from my experience of working for design agency was that reputation is built over time. You can’t design one, two or ten websites and expect clients to stand in queue in front of your doors. This is not how it works. You have to do great work again and again, at least dozens of times, in order to show that it is a skill, not an accident. This applies to design agency as well as to freelancing. Reputation is built on work, not just empty words.

Remember that behind every overnight success are hours of hard work and delivering excellent results again and again. It is like in a sport. Winning one or two championships will not make you a legend. You have to win and then keep winning. This is how you built reputation. So, whether you just started new career as a designer or you have been pursuing this career for a while, focus on two things. First, do great work. Second, be patient. It takes time to build reputation.

Closing thoughts on working for design agency

This the end of the second part of 9 Key Lessons From Working for Design Agency Designers Must Know miniseries. It was hard to pick only 9 lessons because every day introduced new interesting challenge. However, I wanted to make this miniseries short. Well, at least not too long or verbose. Anyway, I hope that these 9 lessons will be useful for you and help you make progress in your design career and maybe even create your own design agency. In the end, there are no limits.

Thank you very much for your time. Until next week, have a great day!

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