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skittsyteacup · 1 year

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TW VENT!! dont read if ur sad or smth!!!

i hesitate to write this. genuinely. theres people i know will see it and theres those who wont but i really want to. i dont even feel upset writing this, i feel pretty good actually. i think writing this wont help, i know it wont, but itll be said right? which is better than nothing(maybe).

some of us, and i wont name, have a horrible habit of checking accounts of people we no longer talk to and wow! you guessed it. exs fall into that. its mainly to see how theyre doing(usually /neg) or cus theyre bored. but we all get those memories. and the pain can meld to others which sucks, really. thankfully this doesnt happen often! but it still happens and it still hurts. an example is one of them sent a anon tell to an ex of ours asking if they checked their exs accounts. part of the reason why other than curiosity was because we were a little suspicious they sent us tells n shit. im more confident they dont now after a bit of research but we cant talk in headspace easily. and even so who wants to talk about their bad habits? not them. but to the actual point, ive had nightmares my whole life. i dont have dreams anymore as far as i can tell, they always morph their way into something i dont count as a decent thing. and more often than not ive found someone from our past whos hurt us a lot is always there. we had one with a man named steven who ruined our childhood a couple days ago. we screamed at him about how we hate him so fucking much and personally? thats progress! we recognize we didnt deserve it. we recognize that it was wrong and he deserves to burn.

but quite a few of these nightmares have our most recent ex. since theyre not almost dead like steven i wont name them, ill refer to them as K. im not sure theyll see any of this. part of us hopes they will. part of me hopes that too. id like to help set the record straight.

we dated them for a year and a few days. we met on discord and grew close in a short amount of time. they were 16, i was 14. theyre 18 and im 16 now. so its been almost 2 years, its been 2 years since we met though. the relationship was good as far as i knew but now as ive grown i realize even if the age gap isnt big, thats 2 different maturities. they were hypersexual, i was asexual. the pressure made me graysexual and im also now hypersexual(in a way). i felt bad for saying no, which made me what others see as a shy partner who relies on their s/o to function. i felt bad that i didnt rely on them to exist, as if theyd get mad at me for not needing them to breath. and i think i was right too. even if they think now ‘no i wouldnt of’, i know that that would upset them. because in a way, a twisted way, thats upsetting to someone who wants to be your whole world. they want you to only need them. theyve probably changed. i hope theyve changed.

but someone stalked their tellonym the other day to see the answer to the tell they sent and they found something else, im quoting so i dont fuck it up, “whats your opinion on a partner that is being shy?” “it’s whatever but i can’t stand overly shy partners like i’m not going to do everything for you. my ex was like that and it drove me fucking insane” i want to scream and yell that ‘you did this, this is your fault, it was and still is a problem you created’ but ive grown too. we’ve grown. but i want to talk about how youre wrong, K. how wrong you are. you got upset when i told you no, when i wasnt ready to fuck, when i had issues sleeping, when i hung out with anyone, when my constant attention wasnt on you. you probably dont remember it like that, and thats ok but it wont change my memory in any way. you can shit talk me and i know you have about things you shouldnt. you can get angry over this. i hope you do in a healthy way and right now some of us disagree with me hoping that. back to the topic at hand, though, i felt like you would hurt me if i didnt get your permission or do something you didnt like. maybe thats why i got called co dependent. and i dont mean physically, that youd hurt me like that, i meant mentally. i wouldve dont the physical part. i know i wouldve. i know all of us wouldve. an unspoken part of our brain thought if we didnt then we didnt love you. i remember one time, i was up past 12. you woke up and saw. you got upset, made me feel like the worst person because i wasnt asleep. i went into another room and hyperventilated, having one of the worst panic attacks ive ever had. thankfull i was too distraught to search for anything harmful, and the house was small(we all slept in the living room, the other 3 rooms were in shambles(kitchen worked a little)) so searching for stuff was noisy already. and i knew if i relapsed you would make it about you. which is another thing. i dont think you ever realized it. i could never bring it up either for that reason. i didnt like talking to you about my issues because id just end the topic feeling worse than i started, but this time id also feel like i hurt you. and since you didnt like me talking to other people, and when i was i had to tell you, i just never said anything. and when id have doubts about our relationship, like i felt like you didnt love me/i didnt know how to handle something with you/you did something i didnt like/i noticed a red flag/you think im cheating, i didnt have anyone to talk to. i think i didnt break up with you because i never vocalized my doubts too. i did ask my friends during our half ass break if i seemed like a cheater, if i was like one, if i had tendencies of one. ive been cheated on before and i personally dont think im like one at all but others insight helps a lot! they said no, though, but part of me is still scared they lied. it doesnt matter much anymore though. anyway. to continue on your wrongdoings of a sort, you also accused me of cheating many times within the last week or two of our relationship because i 1) didnt let you log into my discord, you never told me why you wanted to and i wasnt ready to talk to you about a few things until i saw you(or was supposed to) 2) called you a new petname, i called you a lot of things related to the moon i dont understand why that upset you 3) everyone you talked to about us said i was cheating(ill admit, im still a bit disappointed your mom thought that too.). i cant think of anything else at the moment. but still its all bad, right? i dont know anymore. i still feel like i deserved everything you did to me. but ive been told i dont. that i didnt deserve the sexual pressure and the sexualization, that i deserved a nurturing relationship. but you still helped shape who i am now, mostly for the worst, but i know what not to do now so thats something?

im gonna end this here. its long enough, ill continue at a later date if i need to, reblogging is a thing here. i just needed somewhere to say this. theres more to say but god this is long?? enough for now??? and i need to do other things. on a side note, i hope osiris is doing well.

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

#danny phantom #dp thoughts #sanchoyorambles

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popatochisssp · 5 years

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So your recent chapter in snips and snails has had me thinking. How would other skellies react if their bro started falling for their SO? Would they all be up for polyamory or would some tell their bro to get over it, or they break up with SO as to push them toward their brother. This information is important for my daydreaming

Anonymous: Heyo! Are you doing hc’s right now? If so, what are your ideas for a polyamorous relationship with sans/so/papyrus? I know you mentioned it with FGTC, but how would the other boys do? Thank you and ilysm!!

Well, the short version of these questions seems to be– “Can I make it work if I want to smooch both brothers?”

And the answer to that question as far as I’m concerned is yes! Ultimately, all skeles would be down for this kind of relationship!

…But some of them are going to have an easier road than others.

Yes, it’s the ‘fells that are on the Struggle Bus, of course it is, those boys have issues.

Undertale:

They’re a great combo!

They already know each other so well and love/respect one another that looping you into their relationship as a romantic branch is the easiest thing in the world.

They both balance the other out really well, to the point that dating them both might even make for a more harmonious relationship than choosing just one: Papyrus won’t shy away from lecturing Sans when his laziness may be letting you down, and Sans knows how to gently point out when Papyrus might be unintentionally talking over you or pushing too hard at something.

There’s no jealousy between them and you’re all grown, mature adults more than capable of navigating a three-person relationship.

Underswap:

Another great choice!

Much like the classic Sans-Papyrus pair, the Sky-Paps match-up isn’t just functional, it’s hyper-functional.

Their brotherly relationship is strong and they’re great at meeting and handling situations as a team, and you’re no different. Most of your time with them will be spent as a trio rather than duos with an odd man out since that’s what they do anyway– you’re just along for the ride! When one-on-one time does come around, they’ll pass you off to the other without hesitation, no jealousy to be found and just a nuzzle on your cheek and an encouragement to have fun.

Even the usually clingy Sky doesn’t mind giving you and Paps space when you want it since there’s no one he trusts and loves more than his (big) little brother, and Paps might actually feel a little more driven to impress and woo you when he sees the lengths Sky regularly goes to. Maybe he can’t one-up his big brother’s efforts, but it reminds him that you’re special and deserving of the attention and he’ll show you so in his own, more understated way.

They balance each other out in so many ways that it won’t ever feel like you’re trying to juggle them to make things work. As long as you love them, they’ll love you right back and your relationship is practically self-sustaining!

Underfell:

You must not be shy of challenges, because you’ve gotten yourself into some rocky waters with this one.

They’ll both agree to this pretty quickly without much fuss– sharing a datemate with their brother, the only person who always had their back underground and would die for them, and vice versa? Of course, there’s no one they’d rather trust you with than their own brother!

They say that, and for the most part they do mean it, but… there are some very well-buried landmines here and you will find at least one of them in the course of this relationship.

For Jasper, it’s bitterness: here’s yet another thing in his life that he’s giving up for his brother’s sake. It’s not Pyre he resents but the situation and how exceedingly unfair the circumstances of his life have been so far. He lost his childhood to raising and protecting Pyre while he was young, and then he had to play his toady and listen to barked orders and snapped insults so Pyre could maintain a fearsome reputation and neither of them would get too severely messed with. And then now here’s this, a datemate he can’t even keep all to himself because you love his baby brother, too. It stings, but he’ll try to quash it down since he loves you and Pyre too deeply to ever want to cause problems for you.

Meanwhile Pyre is masking his own issues, namely jealous insecurity. He loves Jasper, too, and he deeply respects the sacrifices his big brother made for him Underground both in adolescence and adulthood, but…well, it’s not as if he had it easy! Jasper’s initially low HP meant that no matter how strong a fighter he was, there’d always be somebody who saw him as easy EXP, somebody trying to kill them both because they could– that was why he worked his way up to Captain of the Royal Guard and trained so hard to become an efficient, deadly soldier, so that he could be intimidating enough that most monsters wouldn’t even want to try attacking him or somebody under his command. That’s why he had to distance himself from everyone else, even the brother he was trying to protect, just in case someone tried to take advantage of a social connection. He was completely emotionally isolated for a long time, with a lot weighing on his shoulders: his duties, his brother’s safety, his own safety, and Jasper…

Jasper didn’t have to shoulder any of that once Pyre took responsibility.

Pyre knows, intellectually, that Jasper suffered at least as bad for a long time, but emotionally it hurt and made Pyre a little angry to see him socializing freely with the lowlifes at Grillby’s and sleeping openly at his illegal hot-dog stands. Jasper couldn’t have been totally carefree, no one could be underground, but he had the luxury of being very close to it thanks to Pyre’s status, which Pyre maintained at his own expense. And now, it feels like Jasper is taking advantage of him again, casually charming his way into your good graces and seducing you away from him.

He’s fairly certain he’s going to lose you, actually, since he knows that his older brother is the more personable of the two of them and he hates the waiting, he kinda wants to just end it himself and let Jasper have you…

But, same as Jasper, Pyre loves both of you dearly and he knows that abruptly breaking up with you would hurt you, and that Jasper would figure out why he did it and be even more hurt plus guilty over it, so he bites his tongue.

They’re both going to stew in silence over it and are fully committed to doing so for the rest of your natural lives– you’re going to have to mediate this if you want to have any hope of a healthy relationship.

It won’t be too hard to figure out what’s going on with them individually, they’re both very salty skeletons that can mostly keep quiet about the things bugging them, but there’s a lot of snide and bitter quips muttered under their breath that you’re usually close enough to hear and draw conclusions from. At that point, you need to sit down with them and force a discussion; play whatever hard-ball you must to get them to talk, this is too important to sweep under the rug just because it’s awkward and painful.

They’ll be stilted at first and need a lot of prodding to keep going, embarrassed that their datemate is playing counselor for them, but soon enough they’ll start talking on their own. Yelling on their own. Screaming at each other and breaking shit on their own.

They’ve been repressing a lot of emotions for a long time and now that they’re flowing it’s like a tsunami, one you should probably get out of the splash zone of while they get it all out.

You don’t have to worry about them actually hurting each other, there’s far too much love between them for that and once the anger and bitterness is out there in the open, they realize that, too. There’s gonna be tears and broken sobs and fierce hugging and that’s your cue to get back on in there and take care of your boys– they love each other, they love you, and you love them right back, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Once the dust is settled, you’re theirs for life, no take-backs. You came into their home, showed them love and affection, and helped them get their brother back after years of tension and walking on eggshells: if you think they’re ever going to let you go now, you’re dead-wrong.

There’s going to be days when you almost regret emotionally reconciling them because when they’re not bickering over petty nonsense or competing with each other, they are the most terrifyingly efficient team you’ve ever seen. They’ll casually join forces against you whenever it suits them and you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. They love and respect you of course, they’d never hurt or take advantage of you, but the combined force of Jasper’s rough charm and Pyre’s slick cunning means that you’re not often going to find yourself ‘winning’ in your relationship.

On the bright side, your romantic life is positively scorching between these two fiery personalities and the loving passion they have for you is more than enough of a balm on any wounds you might take to your pride. ;3

Swapfell:

Deceptively easy.

At first, they’re both very excited and on-board for this. As far as they’re concerned, there’s no one better in the world to share their datemate with than their own brother, someone trustworthy that they love unconditionally and don’t have to worry about losing you to, since they obviously wouldn’t try to steal you from each other.

And that’s true, because if there’s a problem it won’t be something they did, it’ll be what you did. Or maybe more accurately, what you didn’t do.

There’s really only one way to screw this up, but it’s a hard and fast death sentence for the relationship if you start neglecting Rus or playing favorites with Mal instead.

Rus is a needy guy, not too prone to jealousy but very prone to insecurity when the conditions are right, and Mal is one of the hardest (albeit unintentional) hitter of those buttons. His big brother, the one who’s taken care of him his whole life, protected him and sacrificed for him, Rus thinks Mal is a really cool guy. He’s not surprised at all that you want to date him, but he is surprised that you want to date Mal’s living disaster of a brother, too.

If you’re not careful and spend too much time with Mal or side with him all the time or do anything that could indicate you have a significant preference for one brother over the other, Rus is probably gonna jump to some conclusions and now it makes sense to him why you’re not just dating his brother– it’s ‘cause it’s a pity thing…isn’t it?

Mal is the one you really want but you or Mal or maybe both of you noticed his pathetic interest in you and decided to toss him a bone. To make him feel better. Yaaaay.

His aversion to conflict means that he’s definitely never going to say anything to either of you, ever, but his 'realization’ (whether it’s true or not, almost certainly not) is painful and he won’t be able to help sulking and shying away from your affection for awhile.

That, for Mal, is as good as an actual, physical red flag. He’s sharp and knows his brother well enough to piece together everything that’s happened in Rus’ self-deprecating skull and as far as he’s concerned, there’s only one course of action from here: he’s gonna try to wriggle himself out of the relationship entirely and push you towards Rus.

Mal loves his baby brother fiercely and since he already blames his failings as a pseudo-parent for the anxiety and insecurity he struggles with, the absolute last thing he wants to do is hurt him by taking his datemate away. It’s a no-brainer to remove himself from the situation if he’s distracting you from Rus, but once it’s progressed to this point, there’s no positive outcome for anyone.

Rus is now convinced he’s the pity-boyfriend and feels awful that you don’t get to be with Mal anymore because he couldn’t hide his dumb feelings better. Mal is upset that he can’t be with you, and a little upset with you for not loving his little brother enough to begin with and making this choice necessary. And of course, you’re gonna be hurting, too, because one of your boyfriends thinks he’s your consolation prize and the other isn’t even your boyfriend anymore.

But of course, that’s the Worst Case Scenario.

To make this work, you just need to be fair about sharing your time and affection, which in healthy polyamory, you should probably already be doing! But if for some reason, you can’t do that, skew slightly in Rus’ favor. Mal can be jealous and selfish but he’s more than willing to make room for his brother’s happiness, and he knows that he’s welcome to edge into yours and Rus’ time together if he really wants– Rus has no problems sharing, he just gets a little upset if he thinks he’s the second choice.

If you put in the time and effort to assure Rus that you’re dating him because you care about him, this actually becomes one of the easiest bro-combos possible. Mal and Rus have a less contentious relationship than the other ‘fell brothers and with less buried anger and bitterness between them their bond is already strong and relatively healthy when you enter the mix.

Your integration is like finding the perfect centerpiece to tie an already-stylish room together. Mal plans all the dates and budgets your time between them in the most efficient way possible, while Rus makes sure you and him still get some time to relax and screw around at home. They work very well together as brothers and as your co-boyfriends with about equal importance placed on each role, so you’ll feel nothing but cherished and wanted between the two of them. Make sure to return the favor!

Horrortale:

Yes, a fantastic idea!

They’re both delighted that you asked and agree to share you pretty much immediately, without even a little fuss.

Slate and Papy are arguably the most codependent of the brothers (understandably, considering their shared trauma of the famine) and they’re also probably the most emotionally open with one another as a result, so if a poly relationship seems like it’s becoming a possibility with you, they’re going to get everything talked out and openly agreed upon for a very smooth transition.

It’s actually…kind of an ideal situation for both of them, in a way? Their issues and insecurities are…well, there’s a good deal of them and they’re both a tad concerned that the weight of it might be too much for you alone. They don’t want to overwhelm you or put too much pressure on you just because they’re a little… ‘broken’ is the wrong word for it, but they’re far from undamaged, either!

But with the other brother in the mix, the same one who’s always been there to support his sibling even before you came along, so much of that pressure is taken off.

Slate doesn’t worry that you’re going to suffer from his dissociation and memory problems because he knows Papy is there with his sharp mind and attention to detail to pick up the slack. Likewise, Papy doesn’t worry quite so much on his bad days that you’re secretly unhappy or would be better off without him because Slate is around, who even with a hole in his skull is naturally charming and very skilled at reading people– if you had any complaints, Slate would know and pass them along so they could make you as content as possible!

The end result is that they both relax and don’t psych themselves out quite as much as they might without their brother, and you get to see them as close to their old, pre-horror selves as they can get. Papy is a little more confident and Slate jokes around more and they both treat you like you make the sun rise every morning because you’re the one that loves them both enough to let this relationship be a thing they can have and that’s so cool.

There’s not a drop of jealousy over you from either of them, especially when they can see first-hand that you’re making their brother as happy as you make them, so this is a pretty harmonious and loving match-up, with a lot of potential for success!

#undertale #headcanons #sans #papyrus #sans/reader #papyrus/reader #underswap #us!sans #us!papyrus #underfell #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #swapfell/fellswap #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus

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kingofthewilderwest · 5 years

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Hello, Haddock! Now that Voltron (sadly) ended, how would you rank the seasons? Also, could you tell how many times you've rewatched them?

Hey there, friend! WAY happy to chat Voltron and all its seasons!

Unlike most fandom culture, I’m not a chronic rewatcher, and the default assumption is that I’ve only seen any show once. It’s rare for me to see shows more than once, honestly, even ones I love. I certainly will be watching VLD more times, but because of my normal watching habits, I’ve seen a large portion of the show only once. I’ve seen S1 probably about 5 times, S2 thrice, S3-4 twice, and S5+ once. I’ve seen “The Last Stand” from S7 twice.

These are rankings based somewhat upon my emotional attachments and not simply objective elements like narrative structure! XD I already know my preferences are going to be different than lots of people in the VLD fandom, haha. These rankings are also based on memory, which is pretty strong admittedly for VLD, but it leaves room to change with a rewatch.

EIGHTH PLACE: VLD Season 8

Let’s be clear: I don’t dislike Season 8 and there’s much I enjoy. Give it up for S8 love!!! Standout episodes to me include “Launch Date,” “The Prisoner’s Dilemma,” and “Day Forty-Seven.” The women going shopping together and Pidge dressing as 1980s Darrell Stoker made my life. Not to mention… it was fun spending time with the MFEs; they didn’t take a disproportionate amount of time, but gave us good moments to make us love them. I’m thankful for the S8 ending giving us both a sense of wrap-up for the plot conflicts, but also looking forward to what our Paladins will do to rejuvenate the galaxy. There’s much I’m thankful for with S8.

That said, S8 isn’t my jam as much as other seasons. I’m not much of a shipper and I wasn’t into the Allurance, nor did I get pulled into the magic-heavy plot conflict with Haggar and her Alteans. And while S7 does give great screen time to Allura, it felt a little less like an ensemble cast and more like a spotlight on her. Enemies’ minds changed too fast for me to feel realistic, and the magic-wonky plot didn’t feel as gripping and intense as S7. It’s the reason I’m placing S8 here: from my own preferences, I attached with other seasons more.

SEVENTH PLACE: VLD Season 5

For whatever reason, S5 didn’t make as much of an impression on me as other seasons. I wasn’t as invested in concepts like “Kral Zera” and “White Lion.” Given as S5 is an odd numbered season in the middle portion of Voltron, it has an innate disadvantage: it’s written in all but name as the first half of a season, which means story arc ending payoffs wouldn’t happen until S6. I also feel like S5 is where plot writing is at one of its most tangled or muddied, given as there’s lots being juggled and introduced conflict-wise and lore-wise and universe-wise and character-wise.

However, S5 - like all seasons - gives us cool stuff. We got Matt (one of my favorite characters) participating in an adventure, lots of Lotor screentime, and a callout to 1980s DOTU that I never thought they’d be able to turn into a good episode (“White Lion”). And!!! We get to meet!!! KROLIA!!!

SIXTH PLACE: VLD Season 3

I have particularly fond attachment to S3. This is the season where I started getting actively involved in Voltron fandom discourse, giving my own take on Project Kuron theories. This is the season that gave us the first glimpse of the Classic Voltron formation - Keith in Black, Lance in Red, Pidge in Green, Allura in Blue, Hunk in Yellow. I felt a thrill go through me as Keith, for the first time, said “Form Voltron!” Also… Lance really stepping up to show his leadership potential??? So good. And this is the season where we meet Lotor, another long-anticipated character… and oh my goodness is his character introduction gold. So there’s lots of stuff I hold strong affinity for in S3.

The reason I have to rank Season 3 back here is because it’s more about the Paladins floundering around than anything else. It’s meant to create a new sense of chaos and instability… their leader Shiro is gone, and now there are new unexpected threats like Lotor to handle. However, at the same time, since half of the season is just the Paladins floundering around not knowing how to work together, it makes me less attached to particular episodes. None of the episodes are favorites or standouts to me on their own. There’s lots of cool moments throughout S3, but I think the only episode I notably emotionally attach to is “The Journey.” But still? Good season!

FIFTH PLACE: VLD Season 1

I can’t believe I have this amazing season all the way back here. I want it to be higher, except that I do have to rank other seasons above this one.

Season 1 is what gets everything started. It sets the stage for what Voltron’s all about, teaching us about lions and robeasts and Zarkon and the Galaxy Garrison and all that good stuff from 1980s nostalgia… all the while creating a new vibe and energy to the franchise. In retrospect, S1 feels much calmer and less high-stakes than the rest of the series (especially post S2). However, it’s a solid season with good episodes that never feel less solid and good. We get great Hunk material with him finding conviction; great Shiro and Pidge moments as they share different worries over the abduction; hilarious Keith and Lance clashes; lots and lots and lots of good things. It’s a very solid season, especially once we launch off Arus.

FOURTH PLACE: VLD Season 6

If you want to know how tight my season rankings are to each other, S6 was almost listed second place.

I attach to specific episodes in particular for S6. I love the visuals in “Razor’s Edge.” I died howling with laughter in “Monsters & Mana.” I fell into so many emotional feels regarding Keith and Shiro in “The Black Paladins.” We get one of the all-time best emotional, action-oriented episodes of VLD… and one of the most amazing, hysterical filler episodes in S6. Despite being seven episodes long, S6 is an incredible ride and adventure start to end. It’s hard to believe so much occurred in that amount of time!

There’s hoards of great stuff in this season. We get the Kuron arc resolved, with lots of emotional content between Keith and Shiro. We get the Lotor arc resolved, learning whether or not he can be trusted, with great Lotor and Allura time. We get Keith returning to the Paladins. We get the introduction of Romelle, which all DOTU lovers have been waiting for forever.

THIRD PLACE: VLD Season 4

I have to put VLD S4 here because of its emotional power. There are damned AMAZING moments this season, alongside some of my favorite episodes and moments of all time. I know I and some of the other fans aren’t huge on “The Voltron Show!” But fuck it, guys, S4 gave us “Reunion” and “A New Defender”!!!

Matt is a delight this season, from his first meeting of Allura, to his tour around the Castle of Lions with Pidge, to his technological connections with his sister and Hunk, to his participation in the Rebels’ fighting forces. We also get some of the funniest moments for me in Voltron, between learning how to milk Kaltenecker and seeing HOW Pidge finally managed to rig up the video game system.

Then there’s the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. “Reunion” is the single most emotional episode in all of Voltron for me. Even though I’d seen screencaps of Matt prior to watching S4, I felt as shocked and heartbroken as Pidge to come to his gravestone. There’s so much POWER to this gravestone scene; it’s one of the moments that resonates with me the most even after I’ve finished the whole show. It might even be my Number One FAVORITE moment in the entire show. It’s not my place to analyze that scene here, but DAMN.

Furthermore, the climax with the battle of Naxzela was INTENSE, with Keith almost sacrificing himself getting me screaming. That was such a great battle and climactic moment in VLD. This was a great culminating moment, in which the series has officially built up from a small team to a universe-wide conflict.

We get standout moments with Keith being badass with the blades, Matt taking initiative, Pidge seeking out her family, Allura helping Voltron flee the gravity field, Kuron becoming increasingly more suspicious. VLD S4 ramps everything up from the emotions to the excitement, resulting in an awesome and intense six episodes.

SECOND PLACE: VLD Season 7

It’s really hard for me to put this as second place instead of first place. I originally had it in first place. I want it to be first place. I LOVE the second half of S7 so much. This is, possibly, my favorite season from an emotional standpoint because wow.

It’s all-around outstanding. S7 showed us how far the Paladins have come as heroes; they operate with great teamwork, skill, and professionalism that is oh-so-cool to see on screen. They’re still the characters we love and cherish, but they’ve grown SO MUCH since their first days on Voltron. This is fully-fledged heroes doing fully-fledged battles and it’s GREAT.

S7 gives us standout moments to so many characters, including Hunk, Shiro, Sam, Colleen, Veronica, and Keith. We even get some good adventure time with Romelle! And as far as character interactions are concerned, we get touching moments between Keith and Lance, Keith and Hunk, and so many other combinations.

The story raises the stakes to higher levels than ever before, with an emotional and exciting conquest of Earth. There’s nothing more horrible and high-stakes to audiences than a homefront war. We feel extreme pain for Hunk with fears for his family, and Shiro for the loss of Adam. We feel the great sense of danger and desperation starting with “The Last Stand.” We feel the drama of a long and extended climax fighting for Earth’s freedom, including moments where the Paladins control the Lions outside their body (so cool), Shiro commands the ATLAS (SO cool), and the ATLAS also transforms into a fighting robot (SO FREAKING COOL!). This has some of the most exciting, badass stuff of Voltron ever. I love it.

Highlight episodes for me are “The Last Stand” (two episodes without the Paladins about Earth fighting for its freedom? this was fucking amazing), “Trial By Fire,” and “Lions’ Pride.” Essentially - all of the second half of the season.

FIRST PLACE: Season 2

Season 2 is probably THE MOST solid season in all of VLD.

Almost every episode is good, memorable, fun, lovable, enjoyable, classic. It highlights the full ensemble cast. It creates an EXTREMELY exciting, exhilarating, fun climax. It is a strong narrative season, cleanly and proudly finishing the first 26 episode long arc for VLD. This season shows VLD at its best. Since it consistently delivers, there’s nowhere else S2 belongs except the top.

We get great Shiro time, what with his arc spent learning to trust Black… leading to him being a badass unlocking the Lion’s wings and taking Zarkon’s bayard. We get great Pidge time, whether it’s her freaking out over video games or drawing deeper into the beauty of the world - technology and biology both. We get great Keith time, with him fighting for answers in the Blade of Marmora and infiltrating Zarkon’s base in an extremely dangerous mission. We get great Hunk time, between unlocking his Lion’s claws and taking initiative in the Weblum adventure. We get great Lance moments, where he shows us he truly can be a sharpshooter for the team. We get great Allura moments, especially in how she fought against Haggar in the finale. This season rocks it for EVERY Paladin.

Not only does every individual Paladin get good spotlighting, but S2 also rocks it with character interactions. How Allura handles Keith being Galra is a memorable moment of character development for both of them. How Hunk and Keith interact in “The Belly of the Weblum” is a delight. How Shiro loses his cool with Slav is hysterical. I can never complain to Lance and Hunk combinations, like in “The Depths.” And of course every episode focused on Keith and Shiro gives us good feels.

Standout episodes for S2 include “The Ark of Taujeer” (THE COLORS), “The Blade of Marmora,” “Blackout,” “Space Mall.” I cannot believe I watched an episode where the character dressed as space pirates and rode on a flying cow to escape a mall cop. That happened. It’s a delight. And S2 kept rocking it with the humor, down to Pidge creating all her Paladin buddies out of space junk and imitating them. But S2 also gives us some of the most memorable moments of VLD storytelling, what with “The Blade of Marmora.” That episode is a staple for many reasons. Not to mention… all of S2 works together cohesively for the long-term arc structure.

And then there’s the climax. So well-done. So exciting. So immersive. So intense. So cool. So badass. Great colors, great flow, great plot, great everything start to end. I was in a THRILL at the end of S2 because this climax was so unbelievably fun. In retrospect it’s got competition with S7, and S7 probably takes the cake now… but fuck it, S2′s end will always be awesome.

Every single season in VLD gives me something to be excited about. There are things to love each step of the journey. I’m thankful for every episode from S1 to S8.

What a ride this journey has been.

#vld spoilers #Voltron spoilers #not really but just in case #vld #Voltron #Voltron: Legendary Defender #Voltron Legendary Defender #long post #analysis #my analysis #non-dragons #ask #ask me #anonymous #awesome anonymous friend

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theday · 6 years

Text

minpuppy day

its 8pm here, and his birthday is almost over. im listening to day6′s stream rn and im ready to type out my essay 4 lmh

this got so long and its a mess without proper sources whoops!!!!

SO FIRST OF ALL... lee minhyuk!!!!! the kindest boy on earth and also the most extra lmao

tbh i only became a mbb in late august so i was only present for the last 2 ep of mxray but with everything else, i had 2 catch up rip.. i watched the first episode of season 2 first bc im a dumbebe and it was the cafe/nail salon episode ?? yeah. at that point i didnt know any of them and i couldnt recognise anyone except for jooheon bc i started liking jh first i was just super confused with everyone else, minhyuk included. nobody really stood out when i watched it but i still found it extremely funny (mx are so funny every show theyve been on i always laugh its great i love it) was the next episode the party one ?? (nope) i dont remember but i dont think i focused on anyone at that time either but i noticed how minhyuk was so fucking extra with how he would give kh + hw false clues and i was like .. ‘this guy is seriously..’ and when changkyun plotted with them to abandon mh i was cheering for him tbh LOL and i got so scared for ck when minhyuk found out sbwjaiks idk ive never talked about first impression for mxray so im gonna side track a bit (a lot) and?? the way he played everyone and eventually himself (and changkyun) was so funny wtfeksmk we love an idiot?? in the animal episode, i didnt take notice of mh (again) bc he was with jh and i was 2 focused on him poor mh and mary LMAO i think throughout my first watch of mxray i didnt have that much of an impression of minhyuk other than that he is super extra?? watching their older shows like ‘right now’ and the des??koptac??? fk if i know im a fakebebe i think he grew on me more??

but the time where he really impacted me and made me fall for him was when i watched no.mercy?? the way he gave the flower to the judge (i lov EHR SO MUCH) (the male judges can ***** x) it really gave me the impression of how sweet minhyuk is?? and i remember when he got second last and he cried i felt so fucking bad? he loves his parents so damn much???? minhyuk is really out here being the best son/friend/group mate?? AND despite that he worked together with the other guy (im so sorry) and they did a wonderful stage?? the way minhyuk lightened the mood after the performance showki gave? that made me really think because people gave minhyuk the title of mood maker you know? and just based on that i could truly see why and after that im so happy minhyuk is with monsta x (ill talk abt this later) and im pretty sure he was the one who lost since it was like a battle (work together with your partner but youre also fighting against them) and i know how they like messed the thing up didnt they? and they told him he won but they announced the wrong name minhyuk didnt even let that get to him? he had the biggest smile on his face even though he lost? i love lee minhyuk so much?? he was happy because he and his team mate managed to show such a good performance and that makes me so proud???

it was probably at that point where i really started to see minhyuk as who he is??? he has a lot of sides to him honestly and i dont know all of them but from what i can see minhyuk’s just great?? i was also starting to fall deeper for monsta x as a whole and that meant finding out about past incidents and watching old vlives,, i saw ppl mentioned about how minhyuk would be there for wonho throughout his harder times?? and i watched the video where wonho actually thanks minhyuk (and other members) about that and you can just see how supportive minhyuk is of wonho? hes always there for him and not just wonho, minhyuk’s always with everyone although it is different every era?? he shows so much love to all of his members and its ?? amazing??? minhyuk’s like everybody’s support system and im jsut so!!!!! minhyuk ur doing amazing sweetie :-(

right now back to the thing i said i said id talk abt later which is now so. i was watching the last ep of no.mercy (where they select who gets 2 debut) and i knew who were gonna debut obviously but it was still so fucking nerve wrecking???? honestly? you could see the shock on minhyuk’s face when he gets chosen as the last member. idk what he was thinking but it really hurts to think that minhyuk probably thought he wouldnt be able to get in? (i also have no idea how no.mercy works and im still a bit skeptical about it, was it all planned? etc.) and just the surprise and disbelief really??? goD ??? mh probably felt really bad about being chosen despite have 2 other suitable ppl next to him i kind of think minhyuk sometimes doubts his abilities??? back on weekly idol too where they asked him how he managed to get in and they (hyungwon?) answered with passion like?? i dont know :-// this whole para is a joke tbh bc of how much i dont trust no.mercy lol so disregard it?????

what i wanted 2 say though was how without minhyuk, i dont think monsta x would be able to be how they are today. as much as i hate to say this, performance & song wise, there wouldnt be much of a difference because of how little lines minhyuk gets (which is understandable, still makes me a tad bit mmMPH) however, the presence on shows would change so much??? minhyuk helps bring out everyones sides on shows? and maybe he doesnt and im just being bloody delusional but i believe that minhyuk plays a super important role whenever mx are on any kind of show because he’s able to ?? i dont know??? he can see whenever one of the members are feeling uncomfortable/not talking enough and he goes to them/asks them stuff im pulling this out of my ass actually ah . i dont fucking know i dont have any sources nd this is all from my shit ass memory so if u do read this and realize how inaccurate it is im sorry but thanks 4 reading lmao

basically . minhyuk plays an important role in monsta x as more than a vocal but as a person who’s always there for his members

ANOTHER THING. we all know of when minhyuk speaks english?? like he doesnt have to because theres changkyun but he does it anyway?? again, idk if he does it bc he wants 2 lessen the burden on changkyun (who cant speak english that well - same) or because he wants to connect with more intl fans but its sweet either way?? and its really funny the way he translates stuff too lmao

i already saw someone else talk about this but its something i noticed too though it didnt really click unitl i saw their post about it,, back on like the radio vlive he would do with kihyun he was always setting goals for the vlive and everything but in the recent vlive with kihyun (again) he assured mbbs that they didnt need to press hearts and that they should focus on the vlive (was this mentioned or assumed???) idk but we can think he probably means that even if it was unspoken.. it really shows how much minhyuk’s grown??? he went from asking for hearts to making sure that mbbs could properly watch the vlive instead?? minhyuk really looks out for others ? when he picked out the stuff kihyun didnt like too??? he didnt even to think twice about doing it he just did it immediately?? minhyuk is so fucking sweet and he just??? thinks about the others ??? always being there for them and everything????

minhyuk is also so sososososo nice to fans? i watched that one video where he gave fans his like towel because they didnt have umbrellas and it was raining/?? yeah sure maybe thats like. basic fan idol stuff but it really says a lot about minhyuk??? he didnt have an umbrella either but he still wanted to make sure they wouldnt get sick????

in these past 2 months, ive learnt that minhyuk is more than extra, hes someone who cares for just about everybody??? he was the last member selected for monsta x but he’s constantly improved himself since then and im so proud of lee minhyuk?? so shoutout to the boy who loves his members and monbebes like theyre his family and shoutout to the boy who loves his family so much. happy birthday lee minhyuk and thank you for being born :-D

also its 9pm now lmao and day6 are doing their last song im happy this has been fun so bye now

#moon texts #love essays #was gonna do jinwoo first but priorities

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s-nnyd · 7 years

Note

hey. all of the qs from the ask meme that apply to you. have fun

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

oh boy well with my dad most certainly not theres a lot situations where its been made obvious that im not the son he wanted but he’ll still use me as an example to show to my lil bro and also like theres a lot of cockiness too and with my mom i love her and i know she loves and supports me but a lot of that is because im her daughter and id say id have a decent relationship with my mom and i do love her

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

lmao it was you

03: Do you regret anything?

oooooooooooooooooo boi man i been thinking and like ive thought about if ive regretted ever being friends with angie and id like to say that i dont cause shes done a lot and shes given a lot to me whether it be good or bad and ive grown a lot from it and i think that if i completely erased that then i wouldnt be able to work through the things i have and like in other aspects i regret not saying “i think youre cute” to movie girl and knott’s info boy like my goodness they were both so damn cute and i really shoulda said something

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah i am

05: What is your relationship status?

single right now and i do want to eventually date someone and have that sort of closeness and that sort of relationship where i can feel at peace and rely on someone but i honest to goodness don’t think there’s anyone for me just yet and i don’t think im in a place really to be dating anyone cause i need to resolve things before i try to start something new

06: How do you want to die?

oh man duuude okay so when we read granny weatherall i legit like had a breakdown and i started panicking cause i started thinking about death all of a sudden and like there are situations where ive considered suicide and all but like there are also the times where it feels like its looming over me so much and like i get so so scared like im scared to walk down the pier at the beach at night because it so dark and the point where you look out onto the horizon and the horizon no longer exists and and its just a void and its so dark and like i think thats how i wanna die just im walking out on the pier at midnight and just im swallowed up because i think in the last moments i think i should just confront it

07: What did you last eat?

i had these hawaiian shortbread cookies that are so dang good like mmmmmmmmmmmm

08: Played any sports?

man i used to do tennis and swimming and i would love to go back to it

09: Do you bite your nails?

nah

10: When was your last physical fight?

like one where someone was genuinely hurt? like an hour ago and it was with the ground cause i got flung off my skateboard but for real i think my last physical fight was like kinder

11: Do you like someone?

skdjashjdkashd i doooo and i should noottttt and theres a lot of things i already know that its kinda like the crush is coming from the fact that there was a lot of support and general niceness and a whooollle lot of other reasons why i should not and im looking forward to the day when this goes away

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

my goodness i have and i died

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

hmm i do but i forgot who it was

14: Do you miss someone?

yeah i kinda miss my old self but for real i really miss my cousin lynnette like i havent seen her for like two years and i really needa hang out with her eventually

15: Have any pets?

dang i wish

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

at the moment? p distressed and very in my own head like i really need a break from a lot of other things but i also need a break from myself oh! ill show you my art project that were doing later when i finish it cause like we ended up havign to do an extreme emotion self portrait of how we feel at this point in time and like its hilarious cause ppl pass by it and theyre like “dude are you okay like just looking at that makes me feel bad”

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

dkjasdh i have not but i lowkey wanna just cause

18: Are you scared of spiders?

uH YEAh

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i would i would and if it was to relive a memory definitely if it was to redo something over differently most definitely if it was to reexperience something wihtout changing something then uh no

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

hhhhhhh oh my goodness lowkey embarrassed to say it cause weve talked about places to snog a while ago and like the last time i did was like in the bushes in the sculpture garden

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

maybe working on the death of a salesman project maybe just getting some rest im really not sure im literally living day to day at this point

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

pfft man i do not wanna have any kids like at all

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i got two but theyve closed up already since i dont use em

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, a bit of dabbling in math, and then also psych like i lvoed the fuck outta that class

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

oh yeah definitely and i think about her a lot i definitely miss meleana and sometimes ill go out and theres a souvenir shop and ill look at the best friend necklaces cause she always got one for us and like i have a box just full of all the halved best friend necklaces and i wonder a lot what would have happened had we still kept contact she was a big gateway to a lot of things in my life

26: What are you craving right now?

mmm some damn relief but for real tho i want someone to run their hands through my hair and pet it and all like any of the daydreams i have are usually centered around my new haircut

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i? dont? think? so? theres like only one of two people i know of who like ever liked me and that was jolin (the other one is this sophomore from my art class last year)

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

lol no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

wish i could even get a date

30: What’s irritating you right now?

well i brought up the other ones in our chat and those are the main ones currently so

31: Does somebody love you?

yeah and i think in a lot of situations whether theyre friends or fam im being put on the weird pedestal

32: What is your favourite color?

OH OH OH ITS CERULEAN BLUE LIKE I KNOW ITS REAL SPECIFIC BUT LIKE THAT THAT BLUE IS SO GOOD LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN PUBLIC MY CHEST SWELLS UP AND MY LUNGS FEEL SO COLD AND THE AIR FEELS REALLY NICE AND LIKE MAN I LOVE THAT BLUE

33: Do you have trust issues?

lol yeah and in the process ive lied a lot and ive gotten so good at lying that sometimes i forget i am lying and the lines between whats truth or not get all blurry (i legit did not mean for that to come off as tumblr-esque as it did)

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

it was me just kinda floating in random space and then i was in a white room with no walls no doors no windows and i just walked around in this open blank space

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hhhh mrs quiggle

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

sometimes i think i do

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

haH hAH HAH haaa.......no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

uh i believe 13 oh wait no scratch that i was like 8

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i needed to get the laundry so...

51: Favourite food?

prolly ramen oh or loco moco cause its so good

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

mmm i think id say i do

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i was working on my entry for the lawyer firm art contest

54: Is cheating ever okay?

hell no

55: Are you mean?

i think so cruel even just cause i know so much and i think people who know and understand and think so much are in general dangerous cause they calculate their actions and sometimes that scares me cause i cant tell if im doing it on purpose or not but just in general yeah im mean like too many shits are just not given

56: How many people have you fist fought?

like? uh? i think maybe two and both times were when i was like 8 or 9

57: Do you believe in true love?

mmm i do i do and i think a lot of that true love stems from a relationship based on communication, honesty, trust, and a really good friendship as a foundation

58: Favourite weather?

oooOOOOOO okay so do you remember that one time it was raining hard as fuck like sophomore year like i know its real vague but it was legit pouring and like it was actually so bad that everyone adn i mean everyone went into the library to get some form of shelter and there were people who were soaked to the bone and peoples umbrellas were getting broken cause it was so cold rainy and windy like that that kinda weather is my fave

59: Do you like the snow?

uh i think i do?

60: Do you wanna get married?

hell yeah

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

mmmm i get a lil weird on that but i think some of my favorite ones are like being called “love” like “whats going on love” or “you look good today love” like mmm i eat that shit up

62: What makes you happy?

man legend of zelda is makign me so damn happy rn like it legit means so damn much to me adn like theres so much i lvoe about it and i just lvoe talking about it and anything about it in general and like also skateboarding has been making me real happy lately like ive never loved getting hurt more and like that sounds really bad and like my left knee’s nerves are totally shot cause i fell straight on it and messed it up cause i was skating but like theres just soemthing about feeling more within my own body because im gettin some form of physical activity adn im getting hurt adn its like its a reality in its own way and like i really love it and i super love when i get to cruise like it feels so damn esp with my hair now and also what makes me happy is the ppl i find cute every now and then like its genuinely such a nice experience and oh oh i just wanted to talk about it jsut cause but like whenever i get a crush i get real excited and real happy cause like i love getting them gifts and seeing the surprise and the happiness on their faces cause its like oh you thought of me and oh its somehting i really love and like it makes them happy for that glimpse of a moment and like i love talking to them and like when they tell me about things they like or their passionate about its so nice to hear cause its like yes yes yes i support you and i love you i love seeing you happy and like just seeing your brightens my day and like even if i do confess and i do get rejected ive been mroe than lucky cause its like the people i have confessed to have been so gentle with the rejection and so kind with it and its like oh no!! like yes im sad that we couldnt be more but like thank you!!! thank you so much for letting me love you adn letting me give you so much thank you for brightening my days up and lettign me see your smiles and hear your laughs like thank you so much im so glad i could crush on you and like thats another thing that makes me happy and like theres probably a lot more that i could talk about but i think ill leave at that for now

63: Would you change your name?

i been actually thinking about it for a while adn in the times that i have considered it i usually use a game with the customizable name to try it out and like at some point i used Elle and then i tried Lynn and like i dunno im really not too sure and maybe if other names come in the future ill test those out cause truly it doesnt feel like my name is my own

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

mm yeah id think so cause theres stuff we were supposed to talk about that we didnt and uhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

say “thanks im really flattered but i really dont think im in a place right now where i should get into a relationship”

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

lmao no

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uhh the guy at the receptionist desk when i went in to submit my entry for the art contest

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

lol if what we talked about wasnt deep and it wasnt you then itd be mrs quiggle

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

fuck yeah

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i dont think so like i wouldnt even die for myself

#thanks jae #this really was a good breather and it made a lot of things feel better #sickinthesoul

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cherryblossomkoi · 7 years

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5/24/2017 10ish-currently 11:27pm Grad night thoughts.

i only feel regret. at the moment. i wish i wouldve taken more pictures. i'm mad at myself for not having enough money to afford a good phone that i could actually take pictures with. i regret being a lazy person that wouldnt go out and get a job. this moment mad me realize all of this. most of all, even though i'm sure i'll have another chance, i really regret not telling the girl that i like "congratulations" or even "you look really good tonight" im such a, im such a wimp, when it comes to that, well, talking to her. the only time i actually had an actual conversation with her was prom night, at the after party, where i was drunk for the first time and like, really really drunk. and i wouldnt even consider it a legit conversation because we were both somewhat drunk and it was just senseless chatter, yet i enjoyed every minute of it. i really need to grow a pair. even though everything is over, it hasnt hit me yet. i still feel like,... like a normal, every day, high school student. and honestly, im afraid, i dont want to grow up, i dont want all the responsibilities either. i know what im saying is selfish, and wrong, in a way, but i cant help but feel like this i hope life doesnt completely screw me over. another thing i realized, is that after party, on prom night, i wish i wouldve gone to all the other parties in my high school years. that was my first and probably last party ever with people from my graduating class. at first i felt out of place but after a few drinks it was like i have always been apart of the group. i even played some drunk basketball with my pre high school friend and old 9-11th grade crush, although i believe i am completely over her i think she'll always have a place in my heart for some reason. i guess shes one of those people that, touched me, or my soul, my heart, or whatever. i dont quite know how to describe it. of course im more concentrated on the girl i like now but i guess you dont get to choose who gets a permanent spot in your heart. it pains me knowing that one day i will cease to exist and no longer have any, any type of impact or acknowledgement on or from anyone, because all those people will be dead too. and if they arent then theyll be near dead and only remember me as how i was. a wimp. a quitter. that white boy. a person who looks really terrible while drunk. everything i dont necessarily mind them viewing me as that but i dont want those things to be the only thing theyve viewed me as. or rather, remembered me as. i just want them, and the people i hold dear in my heart, permanently, and currently, to know who i am. yet that seems like an impossible thing to accomplish. now i feel lost, and empty, some wednesday night huh? i feel like i should be happy. but im not. not really that is. of course, im glad that i dont have to do another single stupid thing at rhodes again, but im not happy that im leaving. as much as i despise quite a few people from rhodes, and some of the schools policies, it pains me to realize that i'll probably never see them again. after 4 years, those assholes, and everyone else, seems to grow on you. i remember freshman year i wanted to just quit school becasue i hated the people so much and though it was completely cancerous. now, i dont want it to end. why? because i dont know what to do with my life now? because i feel lost? because everyone has grown on me? or because i dont want to grow up completely? Honestly, i have absolutely no fucking idea. aside from the undiscovered things i've yet to experience, and those that i have experienced, yet cant necessarily deem one of the hardest things to do, i can freely say that trying to describe how youre feeling, is damn tootin really friggin hard, near impossible, especially with a minimal, common, everyday vocabulary. it humors me how there can be specific words to describe a feeling you feel yet you have no idea how to describe it, until you come across that word, if you ever do come across that word, and until then you have no idea the word even exists. im not entirely sure if this applies but one of my teachers once said if you think you understand something but cant explain it simply, then you dont truly understand it. im not sure if theres a correlation between that and feelings, or words, but i felt like it was worth mentioning. while i was still going through high school it really felt like it took forever, but now that im sitting here, it feels like all 4 years were over in the blink of an eye.

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