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#it might be worth it tho bc
lycantime · 30 days
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rough doodles but you might even call this a tight knit family?? 😳
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hurglewurm · 7 months
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me: keeps drawing random one-off fanarts from things that aren't currently big at all
also me: why no notes on my arte
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soppsop · 7 months
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
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magentagalaxies · 3 months
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#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit#like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to#and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much#i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event#(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!)#and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student#like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to#and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid#like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either#i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation#like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time#but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence#and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing#(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student)#and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event#so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!''#i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything#the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like#''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time''#and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!!#but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too.#i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point)#and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc#bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering)#2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person#but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks#i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be#because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!)#even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon
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swordbreakerz · 5 months
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AUSTIN: Apokine reminds you, in that moment, that there are no only children. Not in Apostolos. Who’s up?
yesterday, three years and change since i finished counter/weight, i finally got the tattoo that has been living in my head ever since austin said there were no only children on apostalos. this podcast means a lot to me, it's brought me closer with a very dear friend, gotten me out of creative slumps, and fueled me through long stressful work shifts, and originally i was gonna say more sappy praise but being vulnerable on the internet gives me hives, so i'll let the tattoo speak for itself from here. much love to the cast for making a fish planet that i havent stopped thinking about for three straight years, keep up the good work
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panncakes · 1 month
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how heavy is the brothers dynamic in the new taiwanese bl?
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woundjob · 4 months
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all my friends are debating ai art in the notes of that post which is genuinely very interesting and it’s neat to see different perspectives. but i have strep throat rn and all the notifications of my buddies arguing is a lot lmfao
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It
#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks#its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue#wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it#even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it#ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm#but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought#it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter-#most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting#but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it#and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself#im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud#aaanyway#im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up.....#ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick#yawns so loud bye for now#.diaries
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daughterofsarenrae · 5 months
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Man we hit a good dosage for angus's meds and hes like. Acting like his old self right now. Def with the energy down like 90% but hes exploring my room and playing with toys and his back legs are holding his weight and it's so nice to see again
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soldier-poet-king · 10 months
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On the one hand I need to move out or go fully insane, on the other hand my family is like the only social contact I get and maybe the urban loneliness will ultimately kill me faster than putting up with their bullshit
#franposting#anyway. had a metldown. looked at apts for 1 hr. did nothing#sorry work. i promise i will get this done before the due date#also like. is the possibility of saving my brain worth all that money#its not even a guarantee it might tank the brain worse who knows#and maybe ill hate it and be afraid#i dont LOVE the big city i like having things nearby thi#i REALLY hate the urban spraw suburbs#that arent even gentrified bougie burbs#it's poor immigrants like my fam and endless strip malls and inaccessible transit#god. im just. fuck. it rlly is just. not great lately#and im unsure what to do#if i move out. i could get a cat#but devon rex is gonna be a couple k$#bc im apparently too allergic for shelter mutt breeds#but also. a cat would probably make me not want to kms. maybe#ughhhh i still dont even have my nee contract so idek how much money ill be making#so im just assuming rn that my pay doesnt increase at all#even tho depending on the position and given my expertise i could be making 10-15k more#which is like. lets put rent at around 2k/month. which is insane ik but thats the LOW end in the city#and extra 10k is nearly half the yearly rent (not counting taxes)#what i ACTUALLY need is routine and extra curriculars and getting out regularly#which is near impossible where i live w/out a car#and im already spending 2.5hrs+ daily commuting on transit#im not gonna add EXTRA HOURS to commute time#BC it rlly does take nearly an hour to get ANYWHERE on transit from my parents#and thats being CONSERVATIVE. usually its longer
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tumblasha · 18 days
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what will happen to me afterwards?
on death and social media - 11 april 2024
(content warnings for ovarian cancer, death of a teacher, death of an online friend, future death, grief)
today, one of my twitter mutuals found out that one of their online friends (known each other for Years) died back in january. they're obviously devastated and it makes me think of a three thoughts that run rampant in my head after every death that happens around me.
it's no secret that my first french teacher in high school died (72 year olds don't really survive ovarian cancer, ya know?). it's no secret that she was one of my favorite teachers. i think a lot about her life. her long-distance husband, the children she's "adopted" by teaching them french for four years (she could never have kids herself), her obsession with turtles. she gave so, so much of herself to her community, over 50 years teaching in my little high school. and she was not celebrated as much as i would've liked. she had a memorial service the saturday after she died, and we all talked to / near her urn in the school gym. the principal didn't give a shit, and her husband didn't show up. the other old faculty member (my us history teacher) retired at the end of the next academic year.
the way i found out was through text. i went through the first stage of denial, saving my grief for four hours later when i fully found out the context behind the "i'm so sorry" sent to the group chat. my french teacher had over 100 turtles, little trinkets she put all over her classroom. and she let each of her students take one home.
for almost a decade now, i've grown quite fond of the community i found on twitter. i made my little fan account, i followed people who were also obsessed with my fav pieces of media, and the rest is history. over the years, i also had to take breaks from being online after reading some "this is X's mom. X passed away last night" tweets or just let a friend fade away after their last tweet ("going into surgery tomorrow! should recover in a few months :3") turned one year old.
and i'm so scared. i think that with the many diseases running rampant on the planet, the lack of secure infrastructure in my country, and other problems, i realize that i could simply go away at any second. and who would know? legally, they have to tell my parents (they're the secondary recipients of health and retirement accounts). legally, they have to tell my job. legally, they don't have to tell anyone else. but i have friends everywhere. the most important ones existing as little icons on my screen or little words in my messaging apps. how the hell are they supposed to know?
when i was a kid, i always imagined myself having at least two weddings: one with my family in peru, one with my spouse's family and our joint community in the united states. now i realize the same might have to happen for my funeral. how am i supposed to plan ahead for that? now that i've finished school, there's never going to be a "guaranteed" place for me to be. i can go anywhere at any time! and none of you have to know!!
there are no conclusions to this ramble. there is only the three threads: online friends leaving but being remembered, people in my real life leaving but being forgotten, and me who will leave someday too. maybe i'll leave behind some turtles, too.
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author's note: no, i'm not suicidal. you should not express concern to medical professionals over this post. i am healthy and happy to be alive.
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yardsards · 1 year
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adulthood is just visiting ur friends, saying "damn bitch, you live like this?" (affectionate) and aggressively helping them clean up while they politely tell you that you don't have to do that. and then having friends do that to you when they visit your apartment.
#eliot posts#one of my friends often does not make his bed and sleeps on a bare-ass mattress so i INSIST on at least putting a fitted sheet on#(and then normally just fully make the bed too bc might as well)#i tell him to ''stop rawdogging the mattress''/''put some protection on that nasty thang''#bc i of course must use the most cursed language available#it only takes like 5 minutes to do and is very worth it#and then i have this second friend who takes this to a whole nother level#he does my dishes every time he visits and lemme tell you. the dish situation around here gets DIRE.#he did like 4 sinkfulls when he was here last#and motivated me to clean the rest of the kitchen while he did that#it took like an hour and we ran out of hot water#but WAY faster than if i had tried to handle that shit alone#and we had fun and jammed to 80s music#another person i'm only loose friends with but i helped her clean a ton of trash from her dorm last time i visited#bc she was on the tail end of a depressive episode and i KNOW how that is#this only works w certain kinds of cleaning tho. you can't tidy up/organize other ppl's shit‚ for example#bc you don't know where anything is supposed to go and you'll likely make things more difficult in the end#amd it just requires you to handle all their personal belongings and open their drawers and shit#and there's a 90% chance that'll make them uncomfortable and like you're violating their space#but shit like dishes is generally very much fair game and won't make them uncomfortable#tho sometimes you gotta ask if there's a specific way they like their dishes washed bc some ppl are picky abt that#ANYWAY#is it obvious my love language* is acts of service?#*(tho the 5 love languages thing is a VAST over-simplification and things are not actually clear cut like that)
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pallases · 1 month
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ourgejjg
#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the#lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭#best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad#personal#also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim#to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn#it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight#instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for#easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte#and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT#promising and. AAAAA#also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my#free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️#the engineering chronicles#the music chronicles#i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal…#oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well#what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3#OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat#it hereeee#soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that#idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and#stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn#ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.
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narwhalandchill · 1 month
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(4.6 beta changes) (again) (guys this is so long im just. many thoughts and me thinking out loud abt arle and my pulling plans. & other nonsense etc. my bad)
ooookay so yeah def glad i didnt jump the gun and attempt some sorta "is this a buff or not" feelscrafting nonsense on arles adjustments jkwjkwdjkwdjkwdkjjk and waited for TC (mostly zajef lmao) analysis and opinion on the real changes that ended up happening
anyway so like. it appears to be an universal buff for her p much? but how big of a buff it ends up being depends on some mechanics we still dont have a definite answer as to how they function (mostly how her BoL stacking from E works during the ECAQECA reset thing, if it enables 140% total stacking = massive dmg buff overall)
firstly my fears of her becoming too ult dependent for overworld appear to be? not as bad as i thought? so thats nice at least very pog like if she can do her thing decently enough just for fun running around thats very good
secondly. the ER situation is literally on a 50-50 😭 because its all about whether she has particle ICD on her E. if she doesnt, thats actually like. 0 ER needed or at the very least incredibly little of it. if there is particle ICD. well. thats going to be another story
the way her rotations have changed now seem to gear her towards overload teams with chevy? since they have very long rotations and characters like fischl and yae can have full uptime over those whereas vape teams lose hydro application from yelan or XQ and buff uptime from characters like bennett over time when a rotation stretches past 24s
like from what ive been reading it seems to be a pretty common sentiment that these buffs will make the biggest impact in chevy overload teams specifically (even tho shes obvi buffed just in general in all teams) for that reason and that chevy teams Especially w her at c6 with arle should be the best bennettless teams ultimately. which is definitely an interesting turn ?
(and this isnt all of the changes btw im just talking abt the ones that matter most for my considerations rn)
anyway. my thoughts then.
so im obviously glad the changes turned out to be buffs so far. but. theres still stuff im a bit. ehhhhhhhh on
firstly the survivability situation (which in turn leads back to the teambuilding issues). bc her self heal did get nerfed. so arles no longer going to be able to risk taking very high dmg during a rotation and dragging herself back to full once the next one starts. which to me feels like an emphasis on dmg mitigation for her and shielding.
(not to even get started on the. spam NAs to reduce her now 30s E cooldown so its up in time for the next rotation meaning you Do Not want to be staggered and tossed out of her attack string. and gee would you look at that! neuvillette level interruption res on c1 now! great!!)
(like again. to be clear. its hard to say exactly how much interruptions to her NA spam will end up fucking her over. i could just be overtly wary about how bad it might feel. but at its worst. with enemies that run away from u or go invincible. or stunlock you. the fact that it will at least heavily risk arles ability to reduce her E cooldown the amount she needs for fluid rotations. could definitely end up feeling like shit to play in practice without that interruption resistance. be it from c1 or a shied)
but then if we go back to her synergies and look at. those more interesting (imo) chevy teams that should perform well even without bennett. like arle/chevy/fischl/yae. whos keeping ur arle from dying there 😭 its giving lyney spreadsheet impact vs actual reality trying to play him without a shield 😭😭 guess we know who he got it from...
and yea could replace yae for beidou for damage reduction but her dmg will TANK in single target. as a whole. defensive options list in pyro/electro units only just isnt that good. beidous the one who tanks team dps the least as long as ur in AoE, but outside of that its just. thoma and dehya. and they will 100% tank the team dps
whereas defensive options like zhongli to me feel like they will just end up w her teams just wanting to lean towards that. traditional vape and mono pyro angle. bennett and kazuha and yelan/XQ. the usual stuff. and shes not getting benny and kazuha from childe so we have an issue 💀💀
unironically i will prolly be looking for some double geo zhongli/chiori/yelan vape team calcs for arlecchino (hope someone makes them. all double geo team calcs ive seen so far assume bennett 😭) just out of curiosity in terms of. how much worse it is than her best teams. bc if i can just slap her in that setup its a big bonus to how flexibly i could use her but eh. prolly will end up weaker than any chiorinavia nation core i could play so who knows
but. all this yapping and im only now getting to the point JSWJKDWJKWDJK so. heres the BIG problem
i dont have a single fucking chevrolet 💀 but i do have like 38 pity on a guarantee.
and like people are suggesting that maybe chevy will be on arles banner and fair, especially with these new beta changes incentivizing arle chevy teams way more than before, it would definitely make sense for hoyo to put chevy with her. and i definitely am overall a fan of this possible chevy overload team direction for arle (anything thats not bennett for father. ANYTHING) so id love for that to be the case
but. thats not guaranteed at all. and the same sentiment i had over arlecchinos hypothetical best support in the form of the pyro archon (or honestly. with the lack of electro shielders for chevy teams even clorinde could end up being that missing piece) where id almost rather wait to guarantee that synergistic unit before getting arle herself on a rerun. actually applies to chevy here too. even just a c0 one
and like. yes. if i spend that guarantee now on c2 chiori. and it turns out chevy is indeed featured with arlecchino. i will Not be able to guarantee her anymore - ill get one 50-50 and all the chances for a few solid chevy copies on the way but thats it.
however. the other scenario here is that arle does NOT get chevy. she gets fucking. kaveh noelle mika. and then chevy is going to rerun with like. idk. random banner. clorinde who may or may not have synergy with arle
...and im not really sure if id even want to pick arle up on that guarantee from that sort of banner SJKDKJADJKDJK but ok id skip her. buuut im still sitting on a guarantee i might not want to use on a character i feel just eh abt. but who might be with chevy (and like. i do pull for 4* when im on a 50-50 and low pity, idm the early. so as long as thats the case i can see myself tossing a few pulls at Any chevy banner in the future).
... which brings us back to. okay yeah saving the guarantee for clorinde IF chevy isnt with arle and IF shes an electro shielder sub dps support for those arle chevy teams. and getting arle on rerun as ive considered. doesnt sound that bad. but clorinde might also Not be that. uncertainty uncertainty.
like im fairly sure clorinde Will be an unit i wont mind pulling at 17 pity xianyun style on a 50-50 no matter what. but if shes not that mythical arle BiS support she prolly wont be worth that guarantee is my whole complex here lmao
whereas. c2 chiori. isnt an uncertain factor here. like im investing in her im getting her c6 eventually, c2 is like almost 25% personal dps increase (also my husk pieces LOVE rolling ER so itd actually be useful) it feels like the "safe" option in a sense ya know???
like. yes id leave arlecchino up to a coin toss . (Jail for jen!! fake lesbian!!!) but id also be left with the option of skipping her banner (if no chevy rateup to be clear) in favor of seeing whether she gains any synergistic units in the future and seeing how the various aspects of her kit that i do somewhat worry about end up panning out ?? and i think. id be fine with that ? Over the alternative
ultimately tho. im super happy arle got overall buffed and that at least some of my fears abt her kit changes were indeed unfounded, but some concerns still remain. its kinda wild and still sad to me that she went from an absolute 100% must pull character just bc its Her to like. curse of pyro on fielder idk if i Need this right now 😔😔 but i Will be getting her eventually!! no matter what
anyway have a sticker if u stuck around for all of my bullshit. this is literally just arle buff thoughts into gacha pulls stream of consciousness rambling 😭😭😭
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getougender · 2 years
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i hope this bites them in the ass so bad i hope noritoshi becomes pivotal to taking them down along with the clan i hope he helps the others tear the foundations out from underneath them with his bare hands and i hope it hurts
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gilfrespecter · 11 months
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Me when being on an antidepressant makes me less depressed
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